Good. I have construction plans to turn a smaller galaxy into a mass driver that shoots 50 suns per second at a speed of 0.97C . I just need some investors 😂
I tried to stifle my laughter so I wouldn't wake my wife. But it didn't work, apparently my silent laughing was shaking the bed really hard. She woke up in a half panic thinking that the New Madrid fault had gone. Of course when she told me that, I couldn't help but laugh even harder. I'm still laughing about this story and what my wife said, except I'm no longer in the bed or the bedroom. I've just finished making my bed on the couch in the den, now I'm looking for another story similar to this one. Don't worry about me, my wife will get over it in a week or two, after I get tired of teasing her about it... ROCLOL, that's Rolls on Couch LOL
You should look up an HFY story "When humans don't know how to die" I was laughing even harder at that story. But that's not to say this one wasn't any more less enjoyable and funny.
Human ship: "My Iowa-Class ancestors used to remove mountains and ISLANDS from the planet Earth back in the 20th Century. They'd be PROUD of me if they could see me now!"
The Admiral joining in when faced with a monster M1 is 100% how it would have worked out.... except he might have also complained they didn't invite him for the previous firing lmao
"Hey, good news. We found that your gods are real. Bad news, one of them is dead. Sorry. Here're some cookies. We will be much more careful with our experimental weapons test."😅😅😅
99% of hfy narators are just TTS this is at least a decent AI narator, although I have some trouble believing its a real person because of weird pronounciations and stuff like that, although if you want an actual human narrator I found one single channel that has it called starbound hfy
youtuber mcnally has a video of him throwing a carpenter square at a metal object and it made that sound. In fact he belongs in one of these stories as he can throw and thing . there are videos of him tossing ice picks, screw drivers and spades at objects and making them stick. He picks locks with precession percussive
@niyablake hopefully that would be fun What would that be 280 lb depleted uranium rounds fired at over 2000 rounds a minute . I fired an MG3 once basically a modern MG42 .for a general purpose, Machine Gun it didn't half rip through its belt.
It's 3 am and everyone is sleeping but boy this story is so relatable that I laughed nonstop and had to stop the video just to calm myself down to not wake up everyone 🤣🤣
Just when he taught they were not going to build any more big ass guns low and behold a AK-47 gunship float,s by the window one look hold my beer gonna press this red bottin sure why not 😂
at first i was annoyed that the gun was so silly ....then a giant m1 garand came to mind with the ping narration.....and i said why not with a childish grin
As the Emperor of Man so eloquently said : At the point in time when bullets can pass trough the interdimensional walls, when firepower takes up the entirety and eternity of space and time, all being stuck in a neverending life and death cycle as bullets recover and destroy their bodies in quick succession, no one able to think about anything but the sheer force of the bullets rapidly flying literally everywhere in the materium, turning the warp itself into nothing but a sea of semi-automatic weaponry. Then there will be enough dakka. Or. At least almost.
monty python and hitchikers guide to the galaxy aqyuzed in red dwarf sandwich... mixed with a dash of cyberiad by lem .by far funniest thing i had heard in 20 years
Our Jagers will need a proper rifle, Our Macross sized Rototech will also need a proper size rifle. Our SuperCarriers will need something to load stars into for ammo, Our Tengen Toppa Turen Lagans's will need something to use galaxies for ammo... I dunno how much bigger we tend to get.. But im sure we will need ammo for it.
Lucifer: Why did Father choose humanity the designated species to rule over the world and inherit the stars? I liked ducks more. Humans: *Destroys a literal god by accident* Lucifer: Oh, that's why.
2 things: 1. The poor guy is fully addicted to the red button & will be pushing them whenever he sees any while sceaming about crazy humans. 2. Wait until the humans start making mortars, artillery, & tanks into GINORMOUS ships!!! ...or swords, axes, & pole arms!!!
It's not every day when a Humanity created a giant gun and "accidentally" killed an alien god of name devour and sent a basket of goodies and and the letter to said *oops*😂😂😂
Omg that was the funniest coolest thing I have ever heard i laughed so hard yes we like big guns lol and sorry for all the aliens 👽 out there don’t be afraid we’re just crazy lol I loved this
The second they answer and get working space adaptive equipment were making every fictional ship / weapon / tank/ etc and making the aliens of the solar universe shit their pants and agree not to get into any war cause god forbid we make something that could turn a galaxy into a blackhole and just say Oops
I love it!!!!! I listen this Story many times with a biiiig smile in my face!!!😂😂😂😂 Please make a Film out of this!!!! I wonna see the stoyteller‘s Resignation when he ask for the damn button at the end!!!!!
*Human speaking like Arnie:* "We Hoomans are strong ang beeg, and I can teach how you can be strong and beeg like us. If not, you're a CHOIR BOE! A CHOIR BOE! Huaughh, huaughh...!"
My sweetheart and I have listened to this story twice now and know it will not be the last! Yes the humans are making good use of Galactic Federations 2nd Amendment...
Humans: "Yeah... we confirmed the existence of your god and uh... killed him... oops." Also humans: "Yeah... we also made a death star..." I swear, it's like one alien empire befriended humanity and set our aggression factor from 0 or -999 and caused us to create reality fracturing weapons. Just imagine what they would say if we built a Gundam, you know, just your typical 18-meter tall mecha.
Americans in these times building some huge gun, the rest of the world screaming why would you build that,while secretly telling our buddies.:" damn its cool, i want one". Me as a South African can confirm , i want a Barrett 50cal...... For hunting ,yip hunting purposes.
The rights of humans to build these guns are guaranteed by the Galaxy Constitution Second Amendment.
The 19th amendment is the Oopsie Daisy amendment.
Good. I have construction plans to turn a smaller galaxy into a mass driver that shoots 50 suns per second at a speed of 0.97C . I just need some investors 😂
@@aleisterlavey9716 Avoid the Ferengi.
God's own Garand.
"In space, no one can hear the ping"
That is heresy
the big bang W A S the ping XD XD
BFG - 10000 = Standard Human Sidearm
A Human Engineer: Not yet! :)
So that's why they killed him later, for stopping the sound of the ping ?
11/10 the funniest sci fi story I've heard.... EVER!
I tried to stifle my laughter so I wouldn't wake my wife. But it didn't work, apparently my silent laughing was shaking the bed really hard. She woke up in a half panic thinking that the New Madrid fault had gone. Of course when she told me that, I couldn't help but laugh even harder.
I'm still laughing about this story and what my wife said, except I'm no longer in the bed or the bedroom. I've just finished making my bed on the couch in the den, now I'm looking for another story similar to this one. Don't worry about me, my wife will get over it in a week or two, after I get tired of teasing her about it... ROCLOL, that's Rolls on Couch LOL
Are you forgiven now?
When he said "I prayed to my gods at least if the humans haven't killed them already we aren't sure" I died laughing
I never thought that any other story would outdo "When a Human Says Whoops". And bang,here we are
You should look up an HFY story "When humans don't know how to die" I was laughing even harder at that story. But that's not to say this one wasn't any more less enjoyable and funny.
Now I know I have to find it@@subzero1456
Human ship: "My Iowa-Class ancestors used to remove mountains and ISLANDS from the planet Earth back in the 20th Century. They'd be PROUD of me if they could see me now!"
*Iowa-Class ship on Earth:*
"Atta, boy! Get'em where it hurts!"
The Admiral joining in when faced with a monster M1 is 100% how it would have worked out.... except he might have also complained they didn't invite him for the previous firing lmao
"Hey, good news. We found that your gods are real. Bad news, one of them is dead. Sorry. Here're some cookies. We will be much more careful with our experimental weapons test."😅😅😅
Okay, that was hilarious.
"Yeah, so... we accidentally found out that gods exist... by killing one. Our bad."
Plot of Stargate.
Alternate title: Aliens learn the meaning of “Say Hello To My Little Friend!” 😂
It won't be that "little" 😂😂
@@davidt.5513 When you’re on the wrong end of any gun, is it little?
i thought it was "hold my beer"
That was one of the most hilarious short stories I've ever heard.
Enjoyed it immensely.
The AK-47 ah yes they made a ship into a meme and broke the alien to the point he just pushes the button bc he knows there is nothing he could do lmao
That caught me big time was not expecting them to build an actual AK-47 shaped gunship that works
Not only is this a great story, it has the best narrator I have listened to in this genre.
99% of hfy narators are just TTS this is at least a decent AI narator, although I have some trouble believing its a real person because of weird pronounciations and stuff like that, although if you want an actual human narrator I found one single channel that has it called starbound hfy
@@CatLemur-d1v I'll have to look into them, but I tend to listen to Aggro Squirrels for HFY stories with a real person
The ping of a garand makes everyone smile. Shit, I would empty a clip in games just to hear that damn noise for fun without enemies in sight.
youtuber mcnally has a video of him throwing a carpenter square at a metal object and it made that sound. In fact he belongs in one of these stories as he can throw and thing . there are videos of him tossing ice picks, screw drivers and spades at objects and making them stick. He picks locks with precession percussive
Why not never know when u might need 50 foot m1grand 😂
I was hopping for 500Ft Ma Deuce
@@niyablake Now that id like to see ☠️
MG42 firing 200 lb shells at about 800 to a 1000 rounds a minute.
And a Garrand firing 30 Inch bullets .
Love it 😅
@@brettread6373 I hope you have spares for the MG42. But can we get a scaled up GAU-8
@niyablake hopefully that would be fun
What would that be 280 lb depleted uranium rounds fired at over 2000 rounds a minute .
I fired an MG3 once basically a modern MG42 .for a general purpose, Machine Gun it didn't half rip through its belt.
We killed your god my bad had me rolling on the floor
Glad they accidentally killed Chthulu with the railgun previously, next was a Great Devourer... accidentally protecting the universe...
It's 3 am and everyone is sleeping but boy this story is so relatable that I laughed nonstop and had to stop the video just to calm myself down to not wake up everyone 🤣🤣
This is what will happen if Texas becomes the global government of the planet😅
Thank you very much. Yes that is what we Texicans would do. But don't forget our great BBQ
Just give me the damned button 😂
Yup i would have done the same
Just when he taught they were not going to build any more big ass guns low and behold a AK-47 gunship float,s by the window one look hold my beer gonna press this red bottin sure why not 😂
29:07 we killed your god, sorry and good night.
typical humans :)
@@Fict1onMaster it happens if you are descended form god killers. Old habit are hard to break.
the best is the phrase "We had a minor miscalculation" 🤣🤣
@@davidt.5513 If they have big miscalculation it will be end of galaxy at least, meyby all universe.
I wonder if whomever found out first that they killed a god if they said, "Whoopsie!" really loud.
So whats next? A giant Mossberg?
The AI trying to pronounce emotional screeching never gets old.
at first i was annoyed that the gun was so silly ....then a giant m1 garand came to mind with the ping narration.....and i said why not with a childish grin
Watch as the clip ejects and crushes a c ar
Same.. once i realised it was a grand. I giggled happily like a mad man.
I love this. 😂 over the top humor is just my thing. Thanks for this, it makes me smile a lot.
I wanna see a sequel to this!!!! This is so funny!!!! XD
As the Emperor of Man so eloquently said :
At the point in time when bullets can pass trough the interdimensional walls, when firepower takes up the entirety and eternity of space and time, all being stuck in a neverending life and death cycle as bullets recover and destroy their bodies in quick succession, no one able to think about anything but the sheer force of the bullets rapidly flying literally everywhere in the materium, turning the warp itself into nothing but a sea of semi-automatic weaponry.
Then there will be enough dakka. Or. At least almost.
monty python and hitchikers guide to the galaxy aqyuzed in red dwarf sandwich... mixed with a dash of cyberiad by lem .by far funniest thing i had heard in 20 years
This is everything ive ever wanted.
Our Jagers will need a proper rifle, Our Macross sized Rototech will also need a proper size rifle. Our SuperCarriers will need something to load stars into for ammo, Our Tengen Toppa Turen Lagans's will need something to use galaxies for ammo... I dunno how much bigger we tend to get.. But im sure we will need ammo for it.
this story is one of the funniest ever, LOL all the way with this one. Well in this universe, bigger is better hell yeah!
By the end I startet to think, they built those big guns just for the reaction videos of the narrator.
God killing gun I didn’t think I would hear that in this story but here we are
oh there are more than one story were humans says oops, sorry we accidentally killed you god
I think Fluffy said it best: “Oh heeellll no!”
Lucifer: Why did Father choose humanity the designated species to rule over the world and inherit the stars? I liked ducks more.
Humans: *Destroys a literal god by accident*
Lucifer: Oh, that's why.
Yup. They're from Texas And into anime
Hoot might want that m1 grand
Edit: scratch that
He will like it in it's entirety
That was hilarious.. Where's my Red Button...
I hear there is a game where you push a big red button over and over in a simulater.
No we wont stop building big ass guns because its "funny" came here just to put this
Who let the Kel Tec engineers into NASA?
It was an accident at CERN and it brought back a slightly insane John Browning
2 things:
1. The poor guy is fully addicted to the red button & will be pushing them whenever he sees any while sceaming about crazy humans.
2. Wait until the humans start making mortars, artillery, & tanks into GINORMOUS ships!!! ...or swords, axes, & pole arms!!!
Humans trap alien with red button Pavlovian conditioning.
Ah yes that one human who had a dream of build the giant tank the mother of all tanks.
Just give me that damn button. Yep he's coming around.
HAHAHAHAHA....OMG...this is some FYNNY SHIT right here!!!
More!!!!
More!!!!
Also when the Humans says OOPS.
I think that part is the most funniest s*** I ever heard
It's not every day when a
Humanity created a giant gun and "accidentally" killed an alien god of name devour and sent a basket of goodies and and the letter to said *oops*😂😂😂
@@luisortiz9017 But that s*** is in a crazy way relatable🤣🤣
Holy crap this is the second time I've listened to this and I love it
This was a fun read. subscribed!
This makes us seem like the orks from 40k
We even have "Dakka!" AS in machine-gun Dakka-dakka-dakka .. the Ork National Anthem ...
That's cuz we are.
Remember, my friends, if you do hear the GAU, you are not the target.
Correction... If you DO hear the gau, you are not the target.
@@nathanbrown8196 oh, yeah, ahahaha! oops~ Thank you for that lol
Holy fucking shit now this is fucking gold
This is the funniest damn story. I love it 😂
11:00 they made the space version of the A10 😅😅😅😂😂. A big gun that fly😅
...yes.
AKA, What if Texas was in charge of making planet-defence weapons.
this story is the most funniest story I couldn't stop laughing do some more of this type of story
Omg that was the funniest coolest thing I have ever heard i laughed so hard yes we like big guns lol and sorry for all the aliens 👽 out there don’t be afraid we’re just crazy lol I loved this
The second they answer and get working space adaptive equipment were making every fictional ship / weapon / tank/ etc and making the aliens of the solar universe shit their pants and agree not to get into any war cause god forbid we make something that could turn a galaxy into a blackhole and just say Oops
just the hoorah when the ping happens im like i can see it BIG button fun it always is
When you accidentally kill a god. The most based thing ever. I CAST GUN PREPARE TO MEET GOD. OR PREPARE TO MEET UNGOD
😂😂 i couldn't stop laughing 😅😂😂
we love big guns
A space faring giant GAU-8 shooting 8-inch shells at 5% the speed of light. Cool.
As for an answer as to why, one word is enough- Xenocide
However, true perfection lies in _OMNICIDE_
Can we all please appreciate a runtime of 38 minutes.
That was so funny, thankyou.
I love it!!!!!
I listen this Story many times with a biiiig smile in my face!!!😂😂😂😂
Please make a Film out of this!!!!
I wonna see the stoyteller‘s Resignation when he ask for the damn button at the end!!!!!
The first thought I had when they mentioned a giant Garand was, "How long until they build a titan Gau-8. Not long. It was not long.
…… I really wanna hear that ping
Ah, a good what if on, “If humanity had too many resources and too few inhibitions.”
who gave the marines an engineering degree?
*Human speaking like Arnie:*
"We Hoomans are strong ang beeg, and I can teach how you can be strong and beeg like us. If not, you're a CHOIR BOE! A CHOIR BOE! Huaughh, huaughh...!"
Oh my!
Looks at the glowing eyes in the thumbnail. Okay so he has the BFG AND! the Invulnerability power up from classic doom this should be fun
very american. they didnt show mercy -they just ran out of ammunition ater firing non-stop for a while
One of the most funny and true to humen nature, storys I heard in a long time.🤣
For a AI story I like this one
It’s good to know the descendants of Kentucky Ballistics will still be around in the future
If I live to hear a giant Garand ping, the sound that most definitely will escape my lips... Ah god...
MINIGUN GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
“Under no pretext should arms and ammunition be surrendered; any attempt to disarm the workers must be frustrated, by force if necessary” - Karl Marx
My sweetheart and I have listened to this story twice now and know it will not be the last!
Yes the humans are making good use of Galactic Federations 2nd Amendment...
Why not its cool. Haha gun go boom. No you cant! Watch us gun go brrrrr
I have a feeling that these engineers and admiral are American😂
more like Texans and Americans meet in pub and decided to grab Japan circuits, to build something.
@kacpermalina308 I mean the American military is decades ahead of any military so like.
Humans: "Yeah... we confirmed the existence of your god and uh... killed him... oops."
Also humans: "Yeah... we also made a death star..."
I swear, it's like one alien empire befriended humanity and set our aggression factor from 0 or -999 and caused us to create reality fracturing weapons. Just imagine what they would say if we built a Gundam, you know, just your typical 18-meter tall mecha.
Dam that is the most American thing to do
This is the most realistic one of these I have listened too and I hate the fact that it is
The few minutes and I am laughing so much 😂😂😂 🤣😂🤣
I feel like this is the future that humanity will do just for fun
Absolutely brilliant, Great humour throughout, like the Robert aspirin novels. Please say there are more coming
Thank you, I laughed through the whole story.
everyone`s a gangsta until the planet pulls out 9 K"M
So, in the future, Texas will have expanded to engulf all of Earth. That's... hilarious, and also terrifying. Just give me that damn button!
I get that it takes awhile to make new episodes, but WHERE IS PART 3???
Kentucky Ballistics travelled to an alternate reality?
Very good story lol hahaha 😂😂 if we had that kind of power to harness power like that we would most probably do something like that... Lol hahaha
I lost my breath ny laughing 😅😂😂
Brilliant! Funny as hell.
Americans in these times building some huge gun, the rest of the world screaming why would you build that,while secretly telling our buddies.:" damn its cool, i want one". Me as a South African can confirm , i want a Barrett 50cal...... For hunting ,yip hunting purposes.
So damn funny .
100 / 100
Why? Because us, the humans, like the Big toys
Humans are more Dwarven than Dwarves...
I am pretty sure the alien gods are begging the human gods to get them to stop building giant war machines
Don't tell him about the machine creates micro Suns out of contained black holes to use as ammunition