No Species Will Ever Forget The Moment When Humans Finally Lost Their Patience | HFY
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- No Species Will Ever Forget The Moment When Humans Finally Lost Their Patience | HFY
Experience the ultimate tale of human passive-aggressive warfare in this comedic science fiction masterpiece. Follow Commander Jack "Papercut" McGillicuddy as he weaponizes bureaucracy against an alien council that just won't accept Earth into their ranks. Watch as humanity proves that the most devastating weapon in the galaxy isn't advanced technology or military might - it's paperwork. In triplicate.
This story features maliciously compliant humans, terrified aliens, sentient houseplants, quantum glitter, and the most dangerous weapon of all: customer service hold music. Witness the chaos as Earth's diplomatic corps demonstrates why you should never push humans to their limits, especially when they have access to both "Baby Shark" and infinite patience.
Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, and anyone who's ever wanted to defeat an alien civilization through the power of mild inconvenience. This HFY (Humanity, F*** Yeah!) story proves that sometimes the pen is mightier than the sword - especially when you're filing the forms in quintuplicate.
#hfystory #scifistories #aliens
Baby Shark on loop for several days sounds like a war crime.
Becaose it is
@@maco8022 and if it wasn't, it sure would be after that
It could have been replaced with some hours of nyan cat every few days.
@@JFDSmit-rm6twor Rick roll
Ain't a war crime if it's the first time! Just ask the Canadians 🇨🇦
"3 species simultaneously evolved the ability to faint just to get away" man that nearly made me fall off my chair
You and me both
For me, it was the part about the now sentient paperwork forming a support group for bureaucratic entities, or the part where the Insect Ambassador accidentally sent a mating signal to the house plant who started planning marriage.
"weapons grade levels of passive-aggressiveness" was my favorite line
I'm a veteran of 'the Barney song' phrase, 'Baby shark' is just background noise....
@@Wudelfin Madness cant claim a well build mind barrier but it fears the ones where it becomes only midly anoying backrground noise because some go.... Hello darkness my old friend i missed your hum!
"even the AI are depressed" best line
"The paperwork has gained sentience and is attempting to unionize."
By the gods...
😂😂😂😂
I’m afraid the gods have nothing to do with this…
Why is it that “enough paperwork to wallpaper the entire universe “ is the one line that terrifies me the most?
Yup
Because, you know, humanity could do something like that, if we want. And we could do it now.
Glitter, sentient house plants, baby shark do do do do do do, and the macarena sounds like a WONDERFUL malicious compliance strategy.
You forgot the Girl From Ipanema theme too...
Oh god the part where a sigh can mean we are ready to go to war or ask for a manager made me lose it.
After that I knew this would be a good one. So many good moments.
Oh dear me my sides hurt from laughing!
This is brilliant. Loving the humour. Malicious compliance at its ultimate level. 😂 Well done and thanks.
I love this author 😅
i couldn't stop chuckling XD
Sputtert my Coffee all over my colleague while Hearing that Story 😆😆
This is no man. He is a manifestation of all human malice across all of time. 😭
I had tears in my eyes at the end. Baby shark, been there. When I was in the military, we had that paper problem too! I loved walking by officers country, you walk hold your salute and they all must salute uou back! You can see their anger.
@ferrelallan9575 I remember seeing a story on reddit where there was an asinine officer that demanded all those of lesser-rank salute him. Squad got tired of it, and one day they had their chance. Whilst out doing laps, they saw the officer exiting his vehicle. So their group slowed down and spread out just in range of each other to draw out the salute as long as possible. Oh, and this was in over 100F weather with sweltering heat and sun. :D
No species would be that petty....McGilykuddy, " Hey blip-blop I need to do some monumental petty s**t, what do you know about malicious compliance?"
14:19 bro went for their *_lives_* with that one. Bureaucratic Warfare? More like a bureaucratic war _crime_ ! Props to his dedication to this legendary level of malicious compliance though.
17:25 we’re only at the halfway mark and he’s introducing _cats_ ?! And… I’m on his side, but darn, dude’s bringing out the bureaucratic _nukes_ and there’s still a good way to go.
29:21 that part had me literally screaming. XD
This was, and I cannot stress it enough. The first piece of media to make me laugh in at least a year. Probably the best space story comedy ever.Good job guys
watch the when humans say hold my beer video
@@scottrackley4457 God damn it. 13 days to late.
Before even reading the description this story felt like something out of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Seeing Douglas Adams name in the description tells me this story did in fact come from one cool frood.
Whoever writes these, has a wonderfully weirdly twisted sense of humour. I love it!
This didnt make a lick of sense, but BY GOD, it was freaking HILARIOUS!
“In triplicate” is this man’s historic quote 💀
ACTS OF EXTREME VIOLENCE SUCH AS DECLARATION OF WAR OR ASKING FOR THE MANAGER MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD
Karens, Karens never change.
Lmao I know I used to work at a gas station when I was younger and the Karen’s I dealt with on night shift were like cracked up super Karen’s
Asking for the manager extreme violence lol 😂
Even the sentient paperwork started reading its own autobiography 😂😂
Humans consume spices for pleasure. IDK if it's the statement or the reaction to the statement is funnier. 😂😂😂
There is so much to reference here. I'm am cracking up laughing! I am truly entertained.
At some point, there’s going to be a severe resource crisis when the replicators used to produce all that paper run out of raw feedstock and entire stellar clusters are being disassembled down to their atoms to make more.
Also, the Central Archives must already be at risk of collapsing into a black hole…
17:42 sweet lord almighty. How does one even begin to imagine that scenario and then put it into words?
He made the whole council wait on support call. 😂
To a free non copyright version of a song played using rubber bands no less.
The paperwork gaining sentience and demanding better working conditions is hilarious.
'The paperwork has gained sentience'
Me: *sigh* I'll get the flamethrower.
After the day I've had, I would probably have declared war after the second interruption over hot sauce.
Probably why I'm not a galactic diplomat
An interstellar war? Over hot sauce? YEP. Sounds legit, to me!
*Note to non-Humans: Four rules to follow:
1- Do *NOT* touch our boats/ships/spacecraft, or we WILL drop a LITERAL sun on your world. TWO suns, if your world is a dual-star system.
2: Harm any human, and expect a brutal retribution. IF said human is a child, expect EXTINCTION.
3: Never, EVER, get between humans and their sauces/spices/seasonings. IF that sauce is a hot sauce of ANY kind, then you'll have to contend with not just ordinary humans, but humans of the following varieties: Southeasters American rednecks, Americans of Sub-Saharan African descent, Mesoamericans, Mediterranean Europeans, South Asians and Southeast Asians. IF those groups of humans are arguing, you will INSTANTLY turn their ire from each other to YOU.
4: NEVER interrupt or otherwise tamper with the Internet services. If you do, expect retaliation from human pre-teens, teens, and twenty-somethings.
P.S.: We forgot Rule 5: If in doubt, refer to rules 1,2, 3, and 4.
Terry Pratchet would shed an enlightened tear after reading this
Honestly this entire thing sounded almost like it came out of the same universe as hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and I love it😂.
That was my first thought. It’s very Douglas Adams. The only thing that would make this better is to have Stephen Fry narrate it.
glitter achieving quantum tunneling? Yeah, they definitely do that already...
I knew Kudzu had to be involved when" grew through 3 decks" was mentioned
The safety meeting after this probably starts with "malicious compliance might not be a crime but come on guys this is a bit much"
It has a spark of Pratchet's work. Good story.
Never under estimate a species who runs off caffine and spite!
I love the humour in your stories. They are bringing a smile and a proper laugh to my life, the hold my beer story had me in stiches. thank you
29:05 "The Geneva Convention Two, Electric Boogaloo." I wasn't expecting a Grian reference in here.
Humans were technically correct. The best kind of correct.
I hereby promote you to grade 37
@@4n3c I see this promotion has the correct paperwork in trifold, however you are missing two stamps on section twelve subsection C.
LOL, great story in an excellent genre. I enjoyed this as much as “whom the princesses would destroy” and it is indeed wonderfully Douglass Adam’s :D
The author of this and other related videos is, or possibly are incredibly warped and amusing!
This is the most Terry Pratchett Sci Fi story I've seen.
xD "Panic puddle". ...Oh, that doesn't even do this work of art justice. I'm only 3:34 into it and I'm just loving it =)
11:38 ...I had NO idea what was to come. ...I have lived 3 lifetimes of content since my last comment...
“Requesting to see the manager” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is the funniezt of these Ive listened to. great writing and jokws.
pfft, I wish they would use this on earth for against ourselves... love the houseplants part...
Glitter is more persistent than anything ever created. I found some cleaning that’s been there for almost nine years! It’s green and was from an art project! It has been considered traumatic every time I clean for this reason! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I disagree, sir. My recommendation is a tactical deployment of glitter imbued confetti.
@@Sonnabend00 YOU MONSTER! lol
Oh my daughter got some glitter like stuff in a onesie she got 3 years ago, I still find it in the washing machine and on the onesie every time I wash it. HOW!?
Sitting on a bag of angry squirrels? I'm taking this.
Fabulous. Totally channeling Douglas Adams.
something somewhere between adams and pratchett for sure!
@@bradhoward9701 You nailed it, it is a perfect blend of the two.
Hey, let’s give a quick shoutout to Blip Bloop!!!!! I make a motion to make Blip Bloop an honorary human, may I get a second?
I second
I Third… Blip Bloop was doing his best to make sure that the human was kept on a leash
The glitter achieved sentience. I rolled out of my chair.
I think we need a new category of literature: "Weaponized Creative Writing".
Of all these types of stories I've listened to. This is absolutely the best. Every new ridiculous situation made me smile or laugh out loud.
This is sooo good someone should turn this into a tv series
This is a whole new realm of human pettiness
I loved that story!! it was HILLARIOUS! Who wrote this? please tell me it's not an AI corruption of literature or I will be the one filing for malicious compliance! somehow, having lived in Brazil and having survived the cold War, studying Stasi bureaucratic techniques, makes this just that much more funny!
This short story gave me a vastly heightened respect for the term, the pen is mightier than the sword.
When I would rather pick up a gun and run into the battlefield and deal with the paperwork I think you won.
I love malicious compliance stories!!!1
Imma get started on the paperwork for this brilliant halarious video, all 47.8 quintillion forms..... in triplicate ofcourse, just to be safe
We seem to have a Terry Pratchett fan writing for us.
Awesome! I loved the humor and uniqueness of this story!
I haven't laughed like this since Robbin Williams!
Malicious compliance in Spaaaace
This is the pinnacle of petty and I am so damn proud to be of the same specie 😢😂😂😂
17:41
Bro gave a space mantis TOURETTE'S😂😂
I wasn't amused at first, but by the time this story was up... I was laughing that jolly old fat man laugh.
the baby shark incident
lol
so feels like Douglas Adams in a bath.
These theme of videos are way more enjoyable to listen to the over saturated earth underdog war stories. This was comedic brilliance
The power of paperwork compels you!
Militant Politeness.
Break out the 24/7 cats doing funny stuff vids
What an evilly gleefully masterstroke!❤
Congratulations on reaching Douglas Adams levels of hilarity. I pray for one small gleam of intelligence in the film production realms that will get this made as a series
Absolutely hilarious. Keep up the good work.
Man using their own rules against them
Chaos... wonderful brilliant chaos...
I don't know what a caffeine based economy looks like, but I kinda want to see it.
KUDZU??? The mad lad!!
Keith Laumer had his hero,Retif,of the CDT,do what could pass,as your writer's predessor! He would stop a war,or invasion,by using MEDDLE,or MUDDLE,to mix up destinations,and the troops,would go in a different location! Anyway,another example of Malicious Compliance! If you come across Mr. Laumer's novels,they are well worth reading,and good for inspiration! Thank you 😇 😊!
"The plant, being one of McGillicuddy's gifts, had started planning the wedding..." These videos need to be used in bearing tests for military and first responders everywhere.
This feels like a short story from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy setting.
"The gentle sonic torture of smooth jazz played through a kazoo."
What a line.
yano what, as silly as this one is i absolutely loved it and got a chuckle from it
I love this channel, the stories are hilarious, the voice used is perfect.
This was a fun story -- it would have been a whole lot nicer without the totally screwed-up captions...
Okay, this one was actually pretty good. Made me chuckle. 👍
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
As always, excellent. Now i have to watch all of these. 😊❤😂😢
What happened to Mr Whiskers?
That had to have been the funniest thing I've listened to in a VERY long time. Sadly, I ended up with carpal tunnel syndrome as I had to right reports (in triplicate of course) to describe what made me laugh...each time I laughed.
I love this! Absolutely hysterically funny!
I like how humanity is always chill as heck in these stories... until someone wants to play a game of f*** around and find out. Then we just become a menace and troll our enemies
I don't remember the last time I laughed this much...
Added this to the favorite list
Paperwork achieving sentience and unionizing has me bust out laughing!
The fact that through all this, they still couldn't figure out how to optimize that dang chair...
This sounds like something that would be from the hitchhikers guide universe
how to make the council loose there mind:
This is how we should deal with hostile policies and politicians on earth. This video had me laughing so hard. May God bless all of you at Sci Realms. ( watch the aliens freak out about that as well. )
CANT Stop fucking laughing 💀☠️
Im hooked.
OMG waiting on hold I can't stop laughing this is so great
This is absolutely beautiful