This was wonderful. My situation was very similar to hers. My husband and I butt heads for so long. It finally dawned on me. He loves me. He loves ALL of me. He wants to be my helper, my best friend. But if I hold back, it hurts both of us. And I have to choose to love him the same way. We had many ups and downs, but will celebrate 36 years of marriage this August. Six great kids, four grandbabies. We are currently in a season of joy and contentment. Still have disagreements, but we are ready and capable to face whatever comes our way. Great job, as always, John. I pray this young woman finds a way to truly heal
I can relate to this so much. I've been a people pleaser for so long that I have no idea what I really like vs what I feel that everybody wants me to like.
I was that way most of my life and just put everyone on a pedestal. It’s hard at first to even make basic decisions for yourself…but if you practice you will get better at it over the years. It’s ok that you like chocolate and someone else likes vanilla.
Next time you’re with people and they are trying to decide where to go? I dare you to say where you really want to go / do. People might not like it when you act like an actual person with feelings and preferences, but it will show you who your real friends are.
What he said at 3:48 sums up my adult anxiety. You really can go down a good life path and things STILL fall apart. This idea terrifies me every single day.
Oh wow he's a keeper! A guy who is not afraid of the woman's push back, values her, and wants her opinions?! That's rare, and special as long as he maintains that past dating stage.
She is a sweetheart. I hope she works through thess things, she has already worked on so much in her life. Bless her little heart. Wish her all the best and her fiance.
One thing that jumped out at me was the part about being a “peace keeper”. Having been a female in a Christian family, I was raised on “be nice” and “blessed are the peace keepers”. I spent most of my married life being a “peace keeper”. Always the “go between” person who tried to smooth the ruffled feathers, calm everybody down, meditate the conflicts etc. it never worked and my needs were not being met because I was too busy trying to meet everyone else’s. Then, everything blew up in my face when my daughter exposed that my husband was cheating on me. During the trauma of that revelation, I turned to scripture and had an epiphany! The Bible doesn’t say, “blessed are the peace keepers”! Jesus said, “blessed are the peace MAKERS”! HE illuminated my mind to understand that making peace requires confrontations not smoothing things over or calming people down. It requires challenging the status quo’s, speaking truth, confronting the wrongs, setting boundaries, holding people accountable and looking for resolutions that will facilitate actual peace! WOW! That was an eye opener! Now, I’m trying to relearn and change my “peace keeping” practices and learn how to be a “peace maker”. Part of that is to make my needs known. Part of that is to take care of me first and stop trying to please everyone else at my expense. To confront the wrongs that will no longer be tolerated.
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your revelation. I’ve always thought it’s very hard to distinguish as a Christian when to turn the other cheek or not. Or when to step in or step back in a situation. I have faith the Holy Spirit will guide.
@@AnnaLicata-ml7nr That’s the thing about scripture, it’s always profound! And oddly enough, it’s usually a very simple concept! We’re the ones who always seem to make it complicated. Our disbelief. Our lack of faith. Our familiar excuses. Our fears. Our unwillingness to give up our control.
@@csmay Thank you. I’ve often had a difficult time with the “turn the other cheek” verse as well. But now I think it has more to do with not seeking revenge or retaliation. It’s worth pondering over. Does it mean to not defend yourself? Does it mean don’t talk? What if someone struck you and you said a prayer out loud, “Lord, forgive him for he knows not what he does. Lord, you live in me and as he strikes me, he also strikes you. You, who was without sin, gave up your life to pay for his sins.”? What if THAT’S the cheek we turn towards him? It reminds me of Jesus telling us to pray for our enemies and doing that dumps hot coals onto their heads. Something to ponder.
I spent my life trying to make everyone happy, but I learned the hard way that most people are never grateful for your generosity. So I stopped being giving, and life has been so much better. Only think about your own well being and live for yourself.
Huh! I had the opposite revelation. The moment I realized I secretly required reciprocation I realized I wasn't truly giving. Now I can gift people with time, money or attention and require nothing in return. Generosity only works when you expect nothing in return. Otherwise it's just a transaction
@@dahliaherrod4301BEST INPUT ON THE INTERNET TODAY. Soo much yes. This moment was so powerful in my life. Perfectly stated, friend. Valuable insight is an understatement.
This girl is an angel and I can tell her boyfriend is as well. Him wanting her to express herself and stand up for herself more often shows they just want to make each other happy. And that right there is all you can ever ask for in a forever relationship, two people just wanting to make each other happy!
As a recovering people-pleaser, therapy helped out so much to find and create my real self and what I want and who I am. The hardest work ive ever had to do, a lot of discomfort and a lot of sleepless nights, but I wouldn't take it back for the world. I would hope everyone to recover from people-pleasing and the liberating feeling it comes with.....everyone deserves it.... and also recognize you're a target for narcissists, that type of abuse no one should have to endure. It requires real work... if people arent willing to do the work, then nothing will help
The best thing we can do all do is become who we need to be through growth and development. The right people will gravitate to your authenticity. Peace, blessings and positivity in your journeys 🙏🏾.
Wow, what a good fucking guy. I wish I’d meet a guy like that 😭😭😭 my exes have only been overjoyed to learn that their needs /goals/desires are the only important ones in the relationship. She’s lucky that even with her issues, she manifested someone like that.
I agree with you! Men like this are rare. For years my engineer bf has carried the weight of home chores and bills so I can work full time and go to school full time AND pay for all of school out of pocket where I can graduate without debt so we can move on with our life when I'm done. He's changed my whole life and I'm so grateful.
I’m was kind of in a similar situation. I also brought up marriage after 4 years and weren’t on the same page. When you don’t know where you stand with someone, go stand with someone else. Problem solved.
I knew the way she was talking about how she js worried about her boyfriends needs over hers she is worried about not getting enough approved.She was abused in some way . she nailed it she needs to work through that I wasn't sexually abused but i grew up in emotional an physically abused home until I ran way as a teenager an never went back. I also bet she has tons of anxiety as well
His show is so good, AND you can read really messed up individuals in the comments who are tying to spread more hurt… of course they found their way HERE.. listening to stories of themselves 😂
John is the BEST!!! Been ride of die with him for 4.5 years and my life is a million times better because of his content and teachings. Truly just an amazing guy! ❤
Knowing our identity in Christ. We also learn by the Holy Spirit trauma that was within our childhood. For myself personally I had a lot of incidents of rejection throughout my childhood. I understood that God accepted me but to know it in your soul is a different thing. Satan comes in our childhood when a traumatic experience occurs. But God is able to heal and restore. Due to rejection I was such a people pleaser I never wanted to make someone upset. Lol BUT THAT TRAIT IS LONGGGGG GONE!
This is exactly a stuggle my husband and I have. Perpetual people pleaser and he asks me all the time to voice how I am feeling and communicate. I don’t know what I need
I got dumbed bc i didn't know what to say bc I wasn't even aware of what was going on with me . Regression I guess He was my fiance. Made everything so so so so much worse. 😢
I know for me, I’ve literally said to my husband, “I don’t even know what I need or want” And I think that’s ok to say in the moment. For example if I’m upset, and he asks what I need, in the moment I’m not really sure what I need or want from my husband in regard to comfort, words etc. He’ll just hug me and let me cry it out. Later when I’m a bit clearer minded, I think about things I would want him to say or do in those kind of moments and we’ll talk about it. And he’ll have suggestions and I’ll tell him “yes!” Or “uhh no I don’t love that” haha. I usually bring it up like, “hey you asked what I needed earlier, I didn’t really know how to answer that, but in those moments I think I’d really like if you don’t offer to fix the issue or problem causing me to be upset, just listen and give me a hug, tell me it’s going to be ok etc.” I’m going through a lot of medical issues right now, I definitely lean on my husband a lot for support right now! Being able to communicate my feelings has been incredibly helpful. I’ve even taken time to make a phone note of things I want or need, because in the moment of upset- my mind goes blank!
@@TaylorWright-p7u I definitely connect with that. Sometimes in the moment when my mind is cloudy I can’t figure out what is wrong or what I need other than know intrinsically that something is in fact wrong. He hugs me and gives me time and says when you know let me know.
I was told by my parents, I had to do whatever a man wanted. Set me up for abuse. Ruined my life. Old world, Catholic parents. I was not allowed to talk in the family either. I was mocked.
As a former Catholic guy, I have seen many such cases of exactly that. Its almost like a relationship can turn destructive if two are not treated as equals. Who knew😂
Just Communicate your needs and wants.....However, Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; they're all different. What works for one person might not work for someone else. But I've come to understand that there's always a solution to problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were close to divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was tough, but we survived.
I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.
Parting ways with someone you deeply care about is never easy, but in my particular circumstance, I was aided by a spiritual mentor who averted the collapse of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'm thankful for this guidance. I'll immediately start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that adopting this strategy will also bring about positive changes for me; I miss her deeply.
To be on the other side of being with people pleasers, it can be annoying because I never feel like I’m with a person, but that they’re just a dog and I have to make every decision or nothing gets done, it sounds harsh but your boyfriend wants a partner
and to a person who is conscientious about their relationship it means you're sitting with a time bomb. you know its only a matter of time before their deference to you wanes and their self-denial bites you both. you know you're with someone like this if you ask them "what do you want" and they say "I don't know". its easy to believe they're lying to you but this behavior can run so deeply that they legitimately do not know their own mind - their identity is formed by the people they keep around them and how they are perceived by those people. they know the easy answers they're not afraid to give like what they like on a pizza. But the significant choices and preferences and values in their life are determined by a silent poll they conduct of the people in their life. but you don't want to marry the venn diagram of those people, you want to marry just that one person.
Telling him you want to get married sooner will get you married. Not telling him will end up in you not marrying him 100%. Everything we want is on the other side of fear. Some women I know who had married good guys were absolutely selfish and wretched. I never understood how or why they got what they wanted with ugly personalities....their secret? ASKING for what they want and then *Magically* getting it.
Bodywork -Upledger’s CranioSacral Therapy addresses holistically body-mind-energetic with trauma training. I’ve had it for 40 years for abuse then preventative.
Christine...You've been dating for a year. The honeymoon phase is waning and now you're getting to the nuggets. The purpose of dating is to evaluate one another's suitability as a long term companion or spouse. You've reached the stage of having hard conversations . Between now and dead, only you can decide how you want the rest of your life to look like.
For those patting him on the back, obviously a horrific situation but all he did was cost that 6 year old a dad, not respectable, hurting your own family to satisfy your rage doesn’t make you a strong man, makes you a shortsighted weak one, even if the man he killed was a demon
2:02 "I'm Catholic were both Catholic and deep down I know my value as a child of God" yet I also participate in sinful behavior by having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship 🤦🏾♂️. I do believe Christianity has literally become a joke and no one really believes it anymore and they DEFINITELY don't practice it anymore 🙄
@@Vmb256 are they married or not? If not this is literally sinful in all of the Abrahamic faiths. I know Christianity in the West has become a joke and nobody really practices anymore. But please don’t come here talking about “I’m a Christian” or “I’m a Catholic” and when you literally practicing sin 🤦🏾♂️
@@clareescobar5590 I HIGHLY DOUBT they are waiting for marriage and even if they are waiting for marriage why are they hanging around each other all day everyday? Yoo Christianity in the West is literally a joke
In this day and age kids have been told to be equal. Yet humans have 1000’s of years of evolution prewiring us to fall into a lane of one of those roles. Confusing the hell out of young adults leading to the hot mess of a society we are seeing.
@@dabd8175You are obviously an incel who blames women for not meeting your needs or wanting to be with you. In this case, yes females are better being alone with cats than to be with a guy like you... God hopefully sents you some light. I feel sorry for you.
@@dabd8175 Yes, it's better than being with people like you. I feel sorry for you for using the internet to kick people who are on the ground like you. Still I feel sorry for you because you are aswell lonely. Hopefully you find somekind of light.
lol he's a lefty on this one and righty when he's on ramsey. always has me confused. are you a lefty? i feel we're the only ones who notice these things
Why do we have the same openging video twice in the same day - Other is the "How do I voice my needs...?"? Are we checking which title gets the most clicks?
No, Dr. John posts new shows every M, W, F and then at 1 pm , and 9 am est we get highlight videos of the calls from those shows. So tomorrow will be the highlights from today’s show ( ie the guy who is dating but not divorced yet, and the mother in law who called about her SIL not providing for the family). The show team does this because a lot of people can’t sit down and watch an hour show so they watch the clips instead.
As she should and who cares...it's a smart format. Callers are obviously advised, if they wish, to write down what they want to share so that they have had time to think it through, include all the details and help with the challenge of calling into a show instead of winging it trying to recall everything from memory which is difficult especially with tough topics.
The classic female. They claim to be great commentators yet my experience is they all love to communicate covertly and when men don’t “read between the lines” he’s then not emotionally intelligent 🙄. Yet women simply don’t communicate effectively. Tell a woman that though and she will avoid that accountability and deflect their own behaviors. This caller is anxious and not able to communicate what she needs. I bet though what she thinks she wants will change when she gets it. Dreams and reality so often don’t line up for young females and it leaves them resentful in life.
@@mxusa8383yes. In your experience. I only had great men and women in my life so I have no idea what you think "classic females " do, but it looks like no one has to remind you that what you wrote was an incredibly subjective take.
Yes, this is a trait a lot of young women have, myself included or I used to. As you age you get better at setting boundaries for yourself and expressing yourself.
@@dream_on_sammi Which I think is fair, but it can be frustrating to deal with since men are the opposite. If we have a problem we are asking for help. If women have a problem they want emotional support. They don't necessarily want you to fix it. And if people in general don't have any problems sometimes we invent problems. Which is worse.
@@KillerofGods she is 24 and grew up religious. stop generalizing. She is young and learning who she is as a person. Young men do not solve problems. sometimes they go around looking for trouble. If men are so together, why are the prisons full?
he's not serious about you if he's not marrying you yet, so he's not your "forever" guy. you express Christian beliefs but you don't live them. you have this relationship but you neglect half of it (yourself). you've got work to do and you need to be single to do it. when its time to get married it shouldn't be to him. He's a good guy but you don't even have a relationship because you never showed up for it. he shouldnt marry you because he has no way of knowing who you are - you keep that hidden from yourself and everyone.
Did she really need to call a radio show and publicize their relationship? I’m willing to bet he knows nothing about it. Also she comes across as really self righteous.
This entire show is about men and women calling in about their problems LOL. Wonder why people like you deliberately listen to something you hate just to stay unhappy 💀💀💀💀💀💀
@@izzywox8246I’m not a troll lol it’s factual. Women r so confusing and don’t know what they want or need. She’s complaining that her needs aren’t met but dosen’t even know what they r🤣
he threatened to leave, he threatened to stay. Everything is a threat, unless he pays. Roses are red and love is fake, a wedding is just a funeral with cake. Guys, if you are rich she will never leave. Ladies, just admit you are all disgusting gold diggers
Your insights are nothing more but reflection of the choices you made and not all ladies 😊 and as a general rule, guys complaining about gold diggers do not pick up their girls in the church or volunteering somewhere in the hospital, orphanage or homeless shelter.
Interesting ..🧐 where are all these rich men? Most of my female friends and family members has businesses and owns their own cars or homes. Yet the men they are with earns less with little to no assets. Yet so many RUclips comments state all women are gold diggers hmm 🤔
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
This was wonderful. My situation was very similar to hers. My husband and I butt heads for so long. It finally dawned on me. He loves me. He loves ALL of me. He wants to be my helper, my best friend. But if I hold back, it hurts both of us. And I have to choose to love him the same way. We had many ups and downs, but will celebrate 36 years of marriage this August. Six great kids, four grandbabies. We are currently in a season of joy and contentment. Still have disagreements, but we are ready and capable to face whatever comes our way. Great job, as always, John. I pray this young woman finds a way to truly heal
I can relate to this so much. I've been a people pleaser for so long that I have no idea what I really like vs what I feel that everybody wants me to like.
I was that way most of my life and just put everyone on a pedestal. It’s hard at first to even make basic decisions for yourself…but if you practice you will get better at it over the years. It’s ok that you like chocolate and someone else likes vanilla.
Next time you’re with people and they are trying to decide where to go? I dare you to say where you really want to go / do. People might not like it when you act like an actual person with feelings and preferences, but it will show you who your real friends are.
What he said at 3:48 sums up my adult anxiety. You really can go down a good life path and things STILL fall apart. This idea terrifies me every single day.
Oh John, I needed this. “The world will be a better place if I let my needs and wants known”. Aww. Thanks.
toward the end, his "have you told him that?" and her quiet "but that's HARD"... I felt both of those SO hard
This felt so personal. It brought me close to tears. I think there’s a lot here for me that I’m maybe not ready for so I’ll save it for later.
One week later, a friendly reminder to listen again ❤️
@@caseyhardiman6847 thank you that is so sweet.
Oh wow he's a keeper! A guy who is not afraid of the woman's push back, values her, and wants her opinions?! That's rare, and special as long as he maintains that past dating stage.
She will end up dumping him. Women say they want those qualities in a man, but their loins and their moisture level down under, tell otherwise
She is a sweetheart. I hope she works through thess things, she has already worked on so much in her life. Bless her little heart. Wish her all the best and her fiance.
Oh, Christine, thank you for speaking for me ❤
One thing that jumped out at me was the part about being a “peace keeper”. Having been a female in a Christian family, I was raised on “be nice” and “blessed are the peace keepers”. I spent most of my married life being a “peace keeper”. Always the “go between” person who tried to smooth the ruffled feathers, calm everybody down, meditate the conflicts etc. it never worked and my needs were not being met because I was too busy trying to meet everyone else’s. Then, everything blew up in my face when my daughter exposed that my husband was cheating on me. During the trauma of that revelation, I turned to scripture and had an epiphany! The Bible doesn’t say, “blessed are the peace keepers”! Jesus said, “blessed are the peace MAKERS”! HE illuminated my mind to understand that making peace requires confrontations not smoothing things over or calming people down. It requires challenging the status quo’s, speaking truth, confronting the wrongs, setting boundaries, holding people accountable and looking for resolutions that will facilitate actual peace! WOW! That was an eye opener! Now, I’m trying to relearn and change my “peace keeping” practices and learn how to be a “peace maker”. Part of that is to make my needs known. Part of that is to take care of me first and stop trying to please everyone else at my expense. To confront the wrongs that will no longer be tolerated.
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your revelation. I’ve always thought it’s very hard to distinguish as a Christian when to turn the other cheek or not. Or when to step in or step back in a situation. I have faith the Holy Spirit will guide.
That is PROFOUND.
@@AnnaLicata-ml7nr That’s the thing about scripture, it’s always profound! And oddly enough, it’s usually a very simple concept! We’re the ones who always seem to make it complicated. Our disbelief. Our lack of faith. Our familiar excuses. Our fears. Our unwillingness to give up our control.
@@csmay Thank you. I’ve often had a difficult time with the “turn the other cheek” verse as well. But now I think it has more to do with not seeking revenge or retaliation. It’s worth pondering over. Does it mean to not defend yourself? Does it mean don’t talk? What if someone struck you and you said a prayer out loud, “Lord, forgive him for he knows not what he does. Lord, you live in me and as he strikes me, he also strikes you. You, who was without sin, gave up your life to pay for his sins.”? What if THAT’S the cheek we turn towards him? It reminds me of Jesus telling us to pray for our enemies and doing that dumps hot coals onto their heads. Something to ponder.
Thank you for sharing your journey. ❤ I am making that change too 😊
I spent my life trying to make everyone happy, but I learned the hard way that most people are never grateful for your generosity. So I stopped being giving, and life has been so much better. Only think about your own well being and live for yourself.
Huh! I had the opposite revelation. The moment I realized I secretly required reciprocation I realized I wasn't truly giving. Now I can gift people with time, money or attention and require nothing in return. Generosity only works when you expect nothing in return. Otherwise it's just a transaction
@@dahliaherrod4301bingo ☺️🤝
@@dahliaherrod4301BEST INPUT ON THE INTERNET TODAY. Soo much yes. This moment was so powerful in my life. Perfectly stated, friend. Valuable insight is an understatement.
This girl is an angel and I can tell her boyfriend is as well. Him wanting her to express herself and stand up for herself more often shows they just want to make each other happy. And that right there is all you can ever ask for in a forever relationship, two people just wanting to make each other happy!
As a recovering people-pleaser, therapy helped out so much to find and create my real self and what I want and who I am. The hardest work ive ever had to do, a lot of discomfort and a lot of sleepless nights, but I wouldn't take it back for the world. I would hope everyone to recover from people-pleasing and the liberating feeling it comes with.....everyone deserves it.... and also recognize you're a target for narcissists, that type of abuse no one should have to endure.
It requires real work... if people arent willing to do the work, then nothing will help
The best thing we can do all do is become who we need to be through growth and development. The right people will gravitate to your authenticity. Peace, blessings and positivity in your journeys 🙏🏾.
Wow, what a good fucking guy. I wish I’d meet a guy like that 😭😭😭 my exes have only been overjoyed to learn that their needs /goals/desires are the only important ones in the relationship. She’s lucky that even with her issues, she manifested someone like that.
True that 💯
Are you like that tho? She was being very nice so she found a very nice dude
I agree with you! Men like this are rare. For years my engineer bf has carried the weight of home chores and bills so I can work full time and go to school full time AND pay for all of school out of pocket where I can graduate without debt so we can move on with our life when I'm done. He's changed my whole life and I'm so grateful.
Such an underrated perspective in this day and age. Looking in the mirror is crucial. @@robert301990
I’m was kind of in a similar situation. I also brought up marriage after 4 years and weren’t on the same page. When you don’t know where you stand with someone, go stand with someone else. Problem solved.
right, leave, mans fault always, this is why our society is f'ed, work on inner self
That’s why you don’t sleep with men - if they leave, they wanted sex. And they will use you for 4 year stand.
💪🏽. You are braver than most. I commend you for knowing your worth. Did you know that person was your forever person though?
That didn’t work for me and been thru over 10 traumas!!! Going over it again doesn’t work!
I knew the way she was talking about how she js worried about her boyfriends needs over hers she is worried about not getting enough approved.She was abused in some way . she nailed it she needs to work through that
I wasn't sexually abused but i grew up in emotional an physically abused home until I ran way as a teenager an never went back. I also bet she has tons of anxiety as well
The title made me laugh. I can relate 😂
New viewer, I’ve been binging your videos! ❤
His show is so good, AND you can read really messed up individuals in the comments who are tying to spread more hurt… of course they found their way HERE.. listening to stories of themselves 😂
John is the BEST!!! Been ride of die with him for 4.5 years and my life is a million times better because of his content and teachings. Truly just an amazing guy! ❤
@@flashthecorgi2053John is a Christian and believes in Jesus so yeah, he's cool.
@brenda1183 Welcome to the family ❤
Knowing our identity in Christ. We also learn by the Holy Spirit trauma that was within our childhood.
For myself personally I had a lot of incidents of rejection throughout my childhood. I understood that God accepted me but to know it in your soul is a different thing. Satan comes in our childhood when a traumatic experience occurs. But God is able to heal and restore. Due to rejection I was such a people pleaser I never wanted to make someone upset.
Lol BUT THAT TRAIT IS LONGGGGG GONE!
This is exactly a stuggle my husband and I have. Perpetual people pleaser and he asks me all the time to voice how I am feeling and communicate. I don’t know what I need
Google needs physical, intellectual, emotional, physical, spiritual & see what resonates. I had to.
I got dumbed bc i didn't know what to say bc I wasn't even aware of what was going on with me
. Regression I guess He was my fiance. Made everything so so so so much worse. 😢
@@bethlwhat do you mean? I need help please. 😢
I know for me, I’ve literally said to my husband, “I don’t even know what I need or want” And I think that’s ok to say in the moment. For example if I’m upset, and he asks what I need, in the moment I’m not really sure what I need or want from my husband in regard to comfort, words etc. He’ll just hug me and let me cry it out. Later when I’m a bit clearer minded, I think about things I would want him to say or do in those kind of moments and we’ll talk about it. And he’ll have suggestions and I’ll tell him “yes!” Or “uhh no I don’t love that” haha. I usually bring it up like, “hey you asked what I needed earlier, I didn’t really know how to answer that, but in those moments I think I’d really like if you don’t offer to fix the issue or problem causing me to be upset, just listen and give me a hug, tell me it’s going to be ok etc.” I’m going through a lot of medical issues right now, I definitely lean on my husband a lot for support right now! Being able to communicate my feelings has been incredibly helpful. I’ve even taken time to make a phone note of things I want or need, because in the moment of upset- my mind goes blank!
@@TaylorWright-p7u I definitely connect with that. Sometimes in the moment when my mind is cloudy I can’t figure out what is wrong or what I need other than know intrinsically that something is in fact wrong. He hugs me and gives me time and says when you know let me know.
I was told by my parents, I had to do whatever a man wanted. Set me up for abuse. Ruined my life. Old world, Catholic parents. I was not allowed to talk in the family either. I was mocked.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Were you eventually accepted by them?
As a former Catholic guy, I have seen many such cases of exactly that. Its almost like a relationship can turn destructive if two are not treated as equals. Who knew😂
Barely starting and feeling attacked 😅
Just Communicate your needs and wants.....However, Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; they're all different. What works for one person might not work for someone else. But I've come to understand that there's always a solution to problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were close to divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was tough, but we survived.
I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.
Parting ways with someone you deeply care about is never easy, but in my particular circumstance, I was aided by a spiritual mentor who averted the collapse of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'm thankful for this guidance. I'll immediately start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that adopting this strategy will also bring about positive changes for me; I miss her deeply.
Welcome
To be on the other side of being with people pleasers, it can be annoying because I never feel like I’m with a person, but that they’re just a dog and I have to make every decision or nothing gets done, it sounds harsh but your boyfriend wants a partner
Very good
and to a person who is conscientious about their relationship it means you're sitting with a time bomb. you know its only a matter of time before their deference to you wanes and their self-denial bites you both. you know you're with someone like this if you ask them "what do you want" and they say "I don't know". its easy to believe they're lying to you but this behavior can run so deeply that they legitimately do not know their own mind - their identity is formed by the people they keep around them and how they are perceived by those people.
they know the easy answers they're not afraid to give like what they like on a pizza. But the significant choices and preferences and values in their life are determined by a silent poll they conduct of the people in their life. but you don't want to marry the venn diagram of those people, you want to marry just that one person.
@@scratch57got dang you cut me deep on that one. I appreciate the honesty
Telling him you want to get married sooner will get you married. Not telling him will end up in you not marrying him 100%. Everything we want is on the other side of fear. Some women I know who had married good guys were absolutely selfish and wretched. I never understood how or why they got what they wanted with ugly personalities....their secret? ASKING for what they want and then *Magically* getting it.
The answer is always no if you don’t ask…
Yup passport for me
Some people never want the "honeymoon phase" to end. Not sure if thats her specifically, but ive known quite a few that have the issue..
Bodywork -Upledger’s CranioSacral Therapy addresses holistically body-mind-energetic with trauma training. I’ve had it for 40 years for abuse then preventative.
Please Doctor John, look into NARRATIVE EXPOSURE THERAPY. Especially for victims of SA and CSA, it's incredible.
My man just opened up the gates of hell LOL
Christine...You've been dating for a year. The honeymoon phase is waning and now you're getting to the nuggets. The purpose of dating is to evaluate one another's suitability as a long term companion or spouse. You've reached the stage of having hard conversations . Between now and dead, only you can decide how you want the rest of your life to look like.
Yeah. Too much choice. No lowley human truly knows what to do. Much such pretenders.
they are ...
FREEEEDOOOOOM
For those patting him on the back, obviously a horrific situation but all he did was cost that 6 year old a dad, not respectable, hurting your own family to satisfy your rage doesn’t make you a strong man, makes you a shortsighted weak one, even if the man he killed was a demon
2:02 "I'm Catholic were both Catholic and deep down I know my value as a child of God" yet I also participate in sinful behavior by having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship 🤦🏾♂️. I do believe Christianity has literally become a joke and no one really believes it anymore and they DEFINITELY don't practice it anymore 🙄
So having a significant other is sinful now? How do you know they arent waiting for marriage?
You don’t know the intricacies of their relationship, so it’s best not to assume what they are or aren’t doing.
@@Vmb256 are they married or not? If not this is literally sinful in all of the Abrahamic faiths. I know Christianity in the West has become a joke and nobody really practices anymore. But please don’t come here talking about “I’m a Christian” or “I’m a Catholic” and when you literally practicing sin 🤦🏾♂️
@@clareescobar5590 I HIGHLY DOUBT they are waiting for marriage and even if they are waiting for marriage why are they hanging around each other all day everyday? Yoo Christianity in the West is literally a joke
usually every long-term relationship has a leader and a follower
In this day and age kids have been told to be equal. Yet humans have 1000’s of years of evolution prewiring us to fall into a lane of one of those roles. Confusing the hell out of young adults leading to the hot mess of a society we are seeing.
So glad im single
@@dabd8175 She will. lol
@@dabd8175You are obviously an incel who blames women for not meeting your needs or wanting to be with you. In this case, yes females are better being alone with cats than to be with a guy like you... God hopefully sents you some light. I feel sorry for you.
@@dabd8175 Yes, it's better than being with people like you. I feel sorry for you for using the internet to kick people who are on the ground like you. Still I feel sorry for you because you are aswell lonely. Hopefully you find somekind of light.
I guessed her age.....😮
Wym can u feel it
Like, so bad things make you feel bad physically. Or do you feel neutral to talk about them.
And being happy makes you feel physically good, etc.
John are a lefty or righthanded? Every episode you switch.
He’s ✨ambidextrous✨
lol he's a lefty on this one and righty when he's on ramsey. always has me confused. are you a lefty? i feel we're the only ones who notice these things
She too nice . ...stop the stupi smiling ALL THE TIME...and push back sometimes .. i know people like that and they are Soooo annoying 😂😂😂😂😂😂
These comments do not pass the vibe check
Why do we have the same openging video twice in the same day - Other is the "How do I voice my needs...?"? Are we checking which title gets the most clicks?
No, Dr. John posts new shows every M, W, F and then at 1 pm , and 9 am est we get highlight videos of the calls from those shows. So tomorrow will be the highlights from today’s show ( ie the guy who is dating but not divorced yet, and the mother in law who called about her SIL not providing for the family). The show team does this because a lot of people can’t sit down and watch an hour show so they watch the clips instead.
How old is this lady ! Who sounds more like an awaken adult reading a script.
In the very beginning, she sounded like she was reading off a script. I can't stop hearing it.
She sounds incredibly rehearsed. I’m sure she means well but it came off like it was not genuine
As she should and who cares...it's a smart format. Callers are obviously advised, if they wish, to write down what they want to share so that they have had time to think it through, include all the details and help with the challenge of calling into a show instead of winging it trying to recall everything from memory which is difficult especially with tough topics.
Many of the guests have their intro written out
they usually read what they wrote by email
She likely was reading from a script. It helps keep people from being all over the place and provide clarity
Lol from the title i knew the caller was a female
I knew the caller was female just from the video title. !!!
Lmao same
The classic female. They claim to be great commentators yet my experience is they all love to communicate covertly and when men don’t “read between the lines” he’s then not emotionally intelligent 🙄. Yet women simply don’t communicate effectively. Tell a woman that though and she will avoid that accountability and deflect their own behaviors. This caller is anxious and not able to communicate what she needs. I bet though what she thinks she wants will change when she gets it. Dreams and reality so often don’t line up for young females and it leaves them resentful in life.
@@mxusa8383yes.
In your experience.
I only had great men and women in my life so I have no idea what you think "classic females " do, but it looks like no one has to remind you that what you wrote was an incredibly subjective take.
*GOD/JESUS IS OUR COUNSELOR AND HEALER FIRST*
Headphones that have some to this whole phone call up by just saying ""well you're a woman""
I noticed that a lot of women who call into the show have very childish voices 🤔
He told you that you are boring him.
That's harsh
typical man is the villian in todays society nothing new
I had a girlfriend who would just agree with everything. She checked every box… but her personality was printer paper. She had to go
She bored me. So glad I don’t have to spend time around her.
@@FavoritesPersonal don't you like submissive women?
Here we go again 🥱
You don't need to be all bored here. You can always choose just not to be here at all 😊
@@mildajasaite871 same subject, wife is afraid to talk to husband. Come on now!!
Go to workkk
@@izzywox8246 get a life
@@Gotoworkkk😂love it!
how did I know caller would be female before listening?
based
Had the exact same thoughts
Yes, this is a trait a lot of young women have, myself included or I used to. As you age you get better at setting boundaries for yourself and expressing yourself.
@@dream_on_sammi Which I think is fair, but it can be frustrating to deal with since men are the opposite. If we have a problem we are asking for help.
If women have a problem they want emotional support. They don't necessarily want you to fix it.
And if people in general don't have any problems sometimes we invent problems. Which is worse.
@@KillerofGods she is 24 and grew up religious. stop generalizing. She is young and learning who she is as a person. Young men do not solve problems. sometimes they go around looking for trouble. If men are so together, why are the prisons full?
This girl talks like she’s reading a script
This are the nice pretty girls that always single 😮😮😮i know a couple ..they are just sooo boring
The title is such a woman thing to say.
Your first problem is your catholic
The alternative is chaos
he's not serious about you if he's not marrying you yet, so he's not your "forever" guy. you express Christian beliefs but you don't live them. you have this relationship but you neglect half of it (yourself).
you've got work to do and you need to be single to do it. when its time to get married it shouldn't be to him. He's a good guy but you don't even have a relationship because you never showed up for it. he shouldnt marry you because he has no way of knowing who you are - you keep that hidden from yourself and everyone.
Her boyfriend needs to move on
Did she really need to call a radio show and publicize their relationship? I’m willing to bet he knows nothing about it. Also she comes across as really self righteous.
Are we listening to the same call?
Your comment is wild
This entire show is about men and women calling in about their problems LOL. Wonder why people like you deliberately listen to something you hate just to stay unhappy 💀💀💀💀💀💀
Yeah, you didn't watch nothing and it shows.
He’s a gaslighter. She should leave.
read the title
heard its a women
checks out
Incel?
@@jenbow3150 I have a gf, try again
She’s reading from a script. 🤮
Classic female behavior🤣
Don’t feed the troll
@@izzywox8246🙌🏻
@@izzywox8246 yes maam.
@@izzywox8246I’m not a troll lol it’s factual. Women r so confusing and don’t know what they want or need. She’s complaining that her needs aren’t met but dosen’t even know what they r🤣
@@Arsenalfcnotartetafcoof
he threatened to leave, he threatened to stay. Everything is a threat, unless he pays. Roses are red and love is fake, a wedding is just a funeral with cake. Guys, if you are rich she will never leave. Ladies, just admit you are all disgusting gold diggers
Amen to that !! 🙏
It's raining acid here😂
Your insights are nothing more but reflection of the choices you made and not all ladies 😊 and as a general rule, guys complaining about gold diggers do not pick up their girls in the church or volunteering somewhere in the hospital, orphanage or homeless shelter.
@@mildajasaite871 Jesus Christ appeared to me in person
Interesting ..🧐 where are all these rich men? Most of my female friends and family members has businesses and owns their own cars or homes. Yet the men they are with earns less with little to no assets. Yet so many RUclips comments state all women are gold diggers hmm 🤔
She, he wants her to argue with him more, be lrss agreeable, and please him less? Closeted homosexual.