The Aussie Joke That Made Jimmy Laugh | Jimmy Carr
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- An Australian pub joke? You just know this is gonna be brutal!
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Australian here. Grew up in the Seventies.
I honestly thought I would never hear that level of joke, told that brutally, ever again. We used to be absolute masters of punchlines delivered like shotgun blasts.
Congratulations, sir, and thank you.
Short but sweet 👌🏽
As an Australian I can confirm this is a PG rated joke in a pub conversation for us.
Also as an Aussie i doubly confirm this
I don't think you know what PG means
Aussie here, agree...
@@thisisres Oh yes he does. He's saying that joke is at the *mildest* level of crudeness you would encounter.
@@thisisresyea he does 😂 bros stating a Aussie fact
Whats the most dangerous thing for a test tube baby?
A dingo with a straw.
This was when i was about 10yo, the teacher at school was talking about it and i said maybe they should make doggy treats called azarias.
it got me 4 cracks with the cane, but i still smile when i think of it.
Ooof.
A feminist yelling my body my choice
@@WornOutWelder I bet the teacher shared it in the Staff-room --- 🙂
Tasty critters. But they're a bugger to peel...
An oldie, but a goodie. 😂
As an Australian that is no where near the worst joke I’ve heard.
Any example I gave would be deleted…
yep. That's almost too clean to tell.
The entire continent of Australia would be cancelled if it wasn´t so far away already xD
Yeah, I've heard worse.
@@michaelreifenstein it’s a primary school joke.
@@artoodiitoo we were having a good laugh the other day about the English losing the soccer. That cup is like Madeline McCann. It’s never coming home.
"No one's learned anything this evening, have they?"
Next day front page: "I did it because Jimmy Carr told me to!"
This is us. Bloody classic. Thank you, Jimmy.
Growing up in the bush here in Oz in the 70s, we were taught jokes like this in Sunday School.
Sunday school? No way - the CWA and PL grannies were tough as nails and had good cakes.
Eye contact and acknowledgement of entire audience 👌
He actually can't see the audience because of the bright lights, but the whole idea is to make it look like he can .
Q: What's the difference between a poofter and a log of wood? A: A log of wood doesn't scream when you hit it with an axe. True Aussie pub joke.
Funnier than his filthy "joke".
Even made it to the graffitied toilet wall of the Reid Library at The University of Western Australia in 1981!
@@boogie4943 Not nice to say but when I was a teenager I was taken a bit out of town to the place under a bridge where they told me they took these people to bash them. Bit different today.
That sounds more like a prison joke than a pub joke, although in some parts of this country that's a very fine line.
😂
Well technically, any Australian joke _is_ a prison joke 🤣
Actually, you could hear that joke pretty much anywhere in Australia.
I was walking past a church the other day and heard the priest tell it to his congregation.
@@grantm6514at least the joke was funny
I mean, the whole country is basically a prison 😂
As an Aussie, even I’m going, “Oh Jimmy!!!!!” 😮😂
Laughing is the best medicine 🎉😂🙏
Issac Butterfield went to court for his jokes. He apparently won but he shouldn't have been sent to court for a joke anyway
He should go to jail for being a shitty Russell Brand wannabe. Perhaps he can get an environment award for recycling edge lord jokes from ten years ago.
His next battle is male pattern baldness and Good Lord is it not going well for him
Isaac is the punchline to the joke Jimmy tells here...
Amen to that. Just words, that’s all.
@@enfortro We used to call it a joke
Now it's called "Terroristic threats"
This is not just for the pub, this is like saying grace at the dinner table with gran and pa over.
Here's another Aussie joke:
Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Australia?
Because they couldn't find Three Wise Men or a Virgin!
True.
The prevalence of CSA & SA in Australia and ignored by Australian authorities is over generously horrific
Its actually why wasn't he born in Sydney
That is just a reworked Irish joke. You changed the country to try and be clever, 1/10 for effort.
@@ibanezlaney This was originally an Aussie joke STOLEN by the Irish!
1/10 for your research.
I can't unhear that now.
this guy is singlehandedly blowing the brains out of the woke status quo.
as a homosexual, thankyou for striking back on behalf of freedom of expression simply by doing what you do, jimmy.
i am literally part of the woke and i love this joke. mate what are you on about
Do you have to use that word woke ?it's really is so annoying
@@Jumbo-k4t Can't ya just laugh at a funny joke and move on instead of trying to police others language in the comments?
Jimmy is literally as progressive as any comedian out there.
Maybe find something else to whinge about
The beauty of simplicity
@JimmyCarr Now that is effective advertising - I got tickets.
You better be funny 😆
That quiet mild tbh lol
That’s fkn grouse!
I haven’t heard that in ages!!!
Is that `gross` but in a Australian accent
@VAPIDISM No, it's how our version of hillbillies say "great"
@@johnthumble5154 Geez, my memory is that was how we said "cool" back in 1981. Didn't know it was still in use anywhere.
@@aaronleverton4221 mostly just unwashed feral Australians use it, not very common.
@@VAPIDISM It means "high class and excellent", based on the historical idea that wealthy people of means would preferentially hunt grouse on their estates, and that the grouse was a valued prey.
I could tell you some aussie pub jokes but ide get deleted
let em rip mate, they cant delete you. Only Jimmy lol
Yeah, some of them are brutal. The shock value is high.
@@markw6586nah those twats at @lphabet would remove him as quick as a guy with a case of the squirts running to the Thunderbox!
Now I’m curious as to how bad Aussie jokes are.
Give it a go.
😂😂😂 Didn't expect that
What a great joke! As an Aussie I’m compelled to do the right thing and share it with all my gay colleagues!! The only joke I can remember was:
(What’s the difference between parsley and pubic hair? ………..nothing, you push it aside and keep on eating😜)
I would love to watch tv with him, eating takeaway and mocking the world an eachother 😂
Yes watching TV would be fun.
You are under the misconception that Jimmy sits around watching the telly? He's extremely successful and always hustling, not sitting on his arse. Successful people do, unsuccessful people sit around munching crisps and watching telly.
@@datgrrl5698 well according to Jimmy himself, he does watch TV
As you were Karen's niece
Jimmy! Come see us in Québec City (Québec, Canada)!!!! You're awesome. A black belt in humour!
An oldie,but a goodie lol
Absolutely brilliant 👏 😂
A blonde comes home from a weekend out and says to her mother "Why do I feel like a bird cage?" "Well," says her mother "it's because you've had a cockatoo in you."
For sheer offensiveness that ranks up there with "how do you know your sister's on the rag?'
No idea
Ask your dad
@@7thplanet121, no, your father's slug tastes funny.
@@lawrencerolls3643 a fellow connoisseur i see
I think it’s a bit worse, myself, but a personal favourite of mine is “a leaf and an emo exit a tree. Which lands on the ground first?”
The leaf.
I'll get me coat! Classic fast show
I'm an Aussie who's living a long (sheltered 🤭) life. I've never heard it before.
3:07 i always thought the "jimmy carr laughs funny" was to be read as "jimmy carr: laughs funny" cuz laughing is funny, but now when you said "because i do" i realised that it means "jimmy carr has a funny laugh"
Really? Are you from the UK? I think its obvious
Also no apostrophes or commers breaking it up was a giveaway if he's laugh wasn't 😂
See his video about snake bite.
You gave that way too much thought.
@@S0.3- *his. Simpleton.
@@markfox1545he/she needed to as the exceedingly obvious isn't obvious to everyone, apparently
Omg! I was not ready!!! I did laugh, though!!
Go Australia 🇦🇺 💪 Aussie humour 😅
Australian - that's mild ;)
Us Australians also love i mean love a good racist joke 🤣 not because we are racist but because we know how to take a joke 😝
Yep. Aussie. Heard that twenty years ago.
That FN image is in my brain now.
"and then there's people who just like being offended"
Me: oh, he's talking about Australia again
As an Aussie im offended by that insinuation - nah im not really, your spot on!!!
@@Kimbo1972 Australia, where stand-up comedy is a participation sport
this guy is so good
😅😅😅....so good man
That is EPIC 😂😂😂
I remember this joke from when i was primary school
No chance the bloke said "a gay"
Focusing on the important things, I see.
RUclips Mooney Mooney Bridge
That’s a typical Aussie pub yarn
I first heard that joke in primary school .. in OZ .. which says something
actually it was junior primary
Yep. About right
"It's just jokes" I said to the officer during a bank robbery while I put money in a bag.
Taking someone elses money and taking offense are comparing apples and oranges
AAAAAGGGGHHHHH! Fark, hilarious.
That's amazing 😂😂😂
Wish he’d come to the US 😢
He's coming to my city here in Canada in November. Wife bought me tickets, and I'm so excited.
The "audience" laughter is the real joke
I just got yelled at by my wife who's braiding my daughters hair beside me.
Should have known better being an Australian.
I think the purpose of Jimmy Carr is to realise that you are still human and you have still boundaries and decency.... that you aren't an animal after all
Jimmy is a closet genius
brilliant
Please tour the U.S. again. We saw you in Columbus, Ohio and you were amazing.
He doesn't travel to theocracies any more. not after his last visit to the US.
I mean sure, be offended about jokes about your chosen religion if you want, but when you start threatening to shoot people over it, a line has to be drawn.
no more jimmy for you.
Hi
Can someone explain the joke about the sorbet and the selero?
He's saying the audience aren't posh enough to ever have eaten sorbet i.e. it tastes like a Solero (an ice lolly brand).
Why does Jimmy Carr now look like Freddy Mercury just before he died?
Who else miss Jimmy’s beautiful face? I don’t believe it was so bad few years ago that he had to do all that change.
So proud 😂❤😂
Coming to Australia?
Australia, the last bastion of humour and joy in the western English speaking world haha
Sadly even that is coming under attack, we got too many eternally offended snowflakes and that insane law that might pass that will get you arrested if you post something online and someone takes offense to it, even if it isnt actually bad.
He is so funny! Is he a comedian?
hi Jimmy, I have a couple of good jokes for you, while I am Aussie, only ever used these once in a London pub over 20 years ago, a bit brutal.
From an Aussie: What's the difference between an Aussie and a kangaroo? Ans: The intelligent look on the kangaroo's face. What's the difference b/t a New Zealander and a sheep? The intelligent look on the sheep's face. What's the diff b/t a Canadian and a moose? The intelligent look etc. What's the the difference between an Arab and a camel? Ah, can't say that! That's offensive! Apparently.
Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? Because it's filled with Arab semon
@@rayray-xs6xuwhat do Australians call Arabs? Ans: Dune cune
Come to Florida
Sure you have enough jokes of your own ? Trump 😂
Slob45
@@memybikeni9931are you serious, have you had a look or heard Kamala Harris, now that is a real joke
O kurwa ale pocisk xD
Which is scarier - weird-haired Jimmy with healthy-looking face, or normal-haired Jimmy with cadaverous face?
Ozempic do you think? 🤔
Aussie here, it doesn't work.
Considering she came back after his last comedy show was saying a lot 😂
That was originally an English joke, get it right. 😂
He's English and lives in England had never heard it before.
He claimed he heard it in Australia.
He hasn't said anything wrong that he has to "get right"
You seriously want to claim that joke?!!😆
Yeah mate, we speak "English" here and jokes are told in English too but we cant stand pommies for some reason 😂
Yup. Aussie humour is like a piss in the morning; instant relief. Or don't pay attention and it'll be funny any messy.
What is it you - can't face. 🤔🤪
🤣🤣🤣
so, in short Jimmy, you are a drug dealer selling endorphins which cannot be detected as people leave the show but they come back to get more. Sounds addictive to me. Keep it up.
I expected brutal not vomit inducing.
In Australia that's considered moderate, something you can tell your mum when you're over 35.
i heard this joke in grade 3
It's a classic joke
To the poms that watched that.
You want a relatively clean Aussie joke, go see Adam Hills instead. I said relatively...
I'm sure Adam bathes regularly.
This joke might have turned me straight.
What did the lesbian Vampire say to her girlfriend ?
I don't know, what *_did_* the lesbian Vampire say to her girlfriend?
@@beardymcbeardface69 yum? 🩸😋🤣
are you ovulating, I need lunch so spread em'
waiting ?
@@gee3883
can someone explain it to me? I don't get it
omg, lol
Initially I laughed but,after getting the image in my head for a while, it turned into!,,,,,,,, That's just WRONG!!😂😂😂
And then you wondered if it works didn't you? 😂
SICK………
What do you call an abo with a gun ? Sir
Yep those types of jokes are where my mind went aswell when he said Australia
Pub joke?
That's not a pub joke.
Playground joke yeah, pub joke nah
This guy is wow
Why do the gins sit with their legs open? To keep the flies out of their eyes
WOW......really mate, I mean fucking WOW!!
@@evets4236 Too much?
That’s a British joke.
Lol How do you work that out ?
yeah he is a bit.
Has Jimmy been cloned?
I do not think that's an Aussie Joke never heard it
You drink at the wrong pub.
@@alpinealpine2793 may be 😆
HAHAHAHA!
What joke?
Why do seagulls fly upside down over Australia? Because the sky is more interesting.
And it ain’t worth sh*tting on…
I don't get it ! And I'm an aussie 😭
I did not find it at all funny either.
Now, thát's FN funny.
no, wait !!