Apparently in some cultures, if a guest was to wear red means that they have either slept with the groom or that they are having an affair with the groom. If that was the ex’s intention, than that adds a whole new layer of issues/ disrespect Edit: just got to the part where they mention it. I really think some people take this tradition seriously
It’s bananas how many different Types of meanings there are for so many different colors of clothing when it comes to weddings. It seems like no matter what you wear to a wedding your likely to offend some type of wedding culture.
Some other cultures a dress like that would be fully acceptable, and something less fancy would be considered unpolite. She said in one of her answers the event was set as black tie and on my country that would be the majority of dresses type used. I don't think she wronged on the dress choice and she maybe thought it was ok (since she shared the dress picture she might see it as ok). But I do think she was wrong by not leaving! I understand that can be painful, but if the bride is uncomfortable you leave! I would leave my kids there if there was someone to keep an eye on them and to bring it back to my place after. Or I would take my kids with me and they wouldn't participate on the wedding as his father didn't make any arrangements for their safety.
@anacaroleted exactly some people including women just aren't that into weddings and so we don't know that much about them or the rules. I mean before my own wedding I didn't really understand weddings. At my own wedding I wanted people to be comfortable so I told them ro wear what they wanted all that really mattered to me was that the wedding party's color themes matched. I didn't care about the style or type if dress about the wedding party or guest because it didn't matter to Me. Now my husband and I had have both only ever been married to each other and we only have kids with each other so if it was my second wedding I might feel differently. That being said I like people to feel comfortable because of me not uncomfortable. So I likely would have left depending on how old my kids are at the time and who if someone is watching them. Right now I wouldn't leave my 3 year old child alone for longer than 37 seconds cause she's like moglie from the jungle book. If nobody is watching her or the person isn't able to keep her safe than either I'm staying with her or she's coming with me.
4 hour round trip just to drop off the kids IS a long journey. I was always told that you didn’t wear red to a wedding as it represents Blood & Bandages, as in trouble!
It’s also just the most flashy and attention grabbing color you could wear, couldn’t imagine being so selfish centered i couldn’t let someone else stand out for one day.
The comments siding with OP saying that the bride was being insecure and overreacting have me shocked 😮 damn even on her own day she can't show how she felt towards the situation without being called insecure and overreacting...
I don’t think she was overreacting but I do think she felt insecure (nothing wrong with that!) Also, the fact that the groom and groom’s mother sided with the ex shows that she has every right to be insecure
I’ve always heard that wearing red to a wedding was to signify that you’ve slept with the groom… as if the kids weren’t enough proof of that 🙄 The bride should definitely take issue with husband for not having her back though
@@Danie_pixie lol well that makes it totally fine! From what I’ve witnessed, the more colors the better at an Indian wedding? Pretty much anything but white?
Honestly I think her husband shouldn't have invited their Ex but because they did the fact that people expected a mother to leave young children alone in an event where most people will be drinking over a red dress. I get it seems disrespectful but most lacey dresses are literally just recolored wedding dresses. I don't even like lace. I think that the rule should be never wear lace to a wedding because of how often it's just a recolored wedding dress.
At my brothers wedding, my aunt just so happened to be wearing the same dress as my mom (the mother of the groom). It was a total coincidence, nothing shady. My aunt immediately ran to her hotel room and changed so she wouldn’t be matching my mom. She knew it would be a mess if it ended up in the photos. Luckily, she had another dress and all was right in the world. Lesson learned? BRING EXTRA CLOTHES!
I think they’re both wrong. Ex definitely tried to show up and be noticed. That’s obvious. So she sucks. New wife technically had a right to kick her out, but you cannot seriously say 4 hours isn’t a long drive, like what lol But also, the part that bothered me is that new wife is upset the kids call her by her name and not something more special. That’s your name, and these aren’t your kids, why do you think you automatically get to be like a third parent? That’s not how it works. So she sucks too. And then also the husband sucks for not sticking up for his new wife. So everyone here sucks except the kids lol
The mom has been telling the kids not to acknowledge her as a third parent. So no, I disagree that the new wife is a bad guy. The kids probably want to call her mom or something, but birth mom is not encouraging it at all.
My gosh some women treat each other so poorly. I agree that the ex was deliberately and passive aggressively trying to affect the bride. The bride is completely justified in how she felt. It is despicable that her husband did not back her up either. It is a concerning red flag that he never brought up his ex attending, let alone her attending in a formal floor length red dress, with THEIR children from THEIR past relationship all being dressed in bright 'look at me' red. This was so considered by the ex. I really feel for the bride. It is sad she had noone else to kick this ex out. The bride needs to reconsider her marriage - does her spouse back her up in other areas? Are there other areas he ignores her in favour of others? Does the bride want to constantly repress her feelings and 'be the bigger person'? Hell no. You deserved a happy day and a supportive spouse.
I've been to one wedding and knew nothing of dress code, so I wore a short lace white dress. To this day I cringe when I think about it, and wish my 2 friends told me how dumb I was and made me change🤦
I mean I kinda feel bad for OP too. The Ex's new wife legitimately expected OP to dump her children at a party she didn't know half the people there. Not to mention alot of weddings involve drinking. So leaving children in a building with a bunch of strangers while they were drinking. It's crazy how many dresses are literally just wedding dresses in different colors. It's possible that if OP hasn't gotten married she could feel like the bride and groom were rubbing her face in it. I think if the husband wanted the children he could've asked a family member to actually watch her children.
I’ve heard this story on another Reddit podcast and there was the brides pov as an update and she included a picture of the dress, it was literally listed as a red WEDDING dress on the website where it was bought
Am I the only one who would have walked out on the wedding? I don’t care if my future hubby views the ex like family, they are not anymore! You either have my back or I leave because I have neither the time nor the energy to deal with those two ganging up on me when I express a boundary. 😡
I’ve would’ve told him, either you stand by me, or you two can get remarried! Because I’m done! You know what, if I have to make him choose! He isn’t the one! I would just tell myself! This isn’t it! There’s so much better out there! Just tell the ex, she won the prize! And I am done! It would hurt! But it will save a lot of headaches.
Maybe don't expect a mother to leave her children with a bunch of people she doesn't know. I mean I would've taken my children from the wedding and told Ex that if I can't supervise my own children while everyone else parties that they weren't gonna be there with a bunch of strangers drinking.
@@Littlereddevil94 I would agree with you except it was the groom who did the inviting not her. Woman probably thought was weird but that he had it handled. Like the in-laws would babysit or something
I don’t have a problem with viewing the ex like family, since she’s the mother of his children, but they made it sound like she’s more like family than the new wife. That would’ve made me incredibly salty.
If someone asks you to leave an event they are hosting, you leave. That's that. Doesn't matter if it's a birthday party, a retirement party, a wedding - doesn't matter. If the host doesn't want you there, it's so cringe to insist you're leaving. I'm calling the cops to get you off my property at that point.
Damn. Like, yeah the bride was insecure, but like… it’s her wedding day. And you wore a crazy fancy dress 🤷♀️ I mean, I would’ve just made sure there was someone that was going to remain sober and be responsible to watch the kids, and I’d peace out until it was done. If there was no one willing to remain sober to watch the kiddos I would have gone somewhere to eat and maybe just play on my phone at whichever restaurant or bar i could chill at for the duration of the ceremony. Then, I’d go back and get my kids. I kinda get both sides here. But I don’t wanna be at a wedding that the bride doesn’t want me at. That’s embarrassing lol, and as a momma who co parents, I’ve found that keeping the peace and picking your battles (even if that means retreating from a significant battle such as this one) is imperative to the health of the co-parenting relationship. And I wouldn’t ever wear something that would even come close to up-staging a bride. That’s Just wedding etiquette 101.
Wearing elaborate, garish, fancy clothing to weddings is 100% expected in my culture, it’s more disrespectful to come in demure or muted colors. All of this just sounds like unresolved feelings and a touch of ego on both sides.
Or maybe it's just different than what's normal in your culture? Idk how you can say one is okay because it's YOUR culture but judge others for not sharing the same traditions. Nobody expects wedding guests to dress poorly but where I'm from, it's definitely seen as rude to literally show up in a wedding dress as a guest, especially at your exes wedding. This doesn't mean wear your worst dress, it just means to be considerate of the bride and groom by letting them have their shine.
The only thing I’m shocked about is someone saying “4 hours isn’t a long drive” not only is that a long drive for me but it’s expensive with these gas prices 🤣
I’m not saying I agree with the ex BUT 4 hours IS a long time for some people. Also how much you wanna bet she’d have to pick them back up at the end so they could go on their honeymoon? Making it an 8 hour driving day. How expensive is that also?
For the record, having a helpful little guide on what to wear sounds amazing. I mean, don't force all your guests to wear a specific colors. But just including 1 little square on the board that says, "-Reminder- Please don't wear: •White •Red -Thank you!-"
The bride shouldnt have made a huge deal out of this. I wouldve yelled OMG you look so GOOD in that red dress! Look everyone! Look how AMAZING she looks? Kill them with kindness, dear. The ex wanted you to feel this way. She wanted your day to be ruined. Mission accomplished.
I don't think she made a big deal out of it, if the event of the day continued. Just because you make your opinion know (it's her day) it does not mean she over reacted...
I'm from Michigan & to the people that I know, wearing a red dress says, 'I slept with the groom'. That ex knew exactly what she was doing. A FLOOR length red wedding dress, with train? Seriously? I would have looked at my groom & said which one of us is leaving? That is a hill I would die on. Her being there was appropriate with the circumstances, however her & her family in red, screaming look at us? Oh hell no! When attending a wedding you want to look nicely put together, without trying to grab all the attention. No need for red or shocking clothing or hair etc. Not. Your. Day.
Why would the bride expect her to drive 4 hours round trip just to bring the kids? If that was the case the groom's parents could have done it. The bride sounds insecure. She should have made sure in advance what the ex had responsed to the invitation and then at that time dealt with the response. What was the dress code given for the wedding? Did the ex know she was showing up in a nicer gown than the bride? I need more context to say who the AH is. Right now the bride just sounds really insecure.
If someone is wearing a red WEDDING DRESS to my wedding? You can drive your two hours back home. I’m sure the bride wouldn’t have told her to leave if she wasn’t wearing a wedding dress. A red wedding dress.
@@ms.tinygiant I think this is very cultural. In Brazil is pretty common to wear dresses like this to a formal wedding. Initially I felt very strange with the dress public reaction and saw some wedding dresses people showed as appropriate and if any of those dresses were wore on my wedding I would be angry as they wouldn't look fancy enough. Initially I didn't think OP did anything wrong, but if was me, would have left that party simple because I was clearly not welcomed and would agree with the father about the kids care. Later I would try to resolve this in a more appropriate time. But I saw a comment that said the OP was bragging about upstaging the bride of her ex in the subreddit trueofmychest (couldn't find this post though, not sure if is true). EDIT: Just saw it was the bride truthofmychest post
I agree with you! Technically, 8 hours if she did leave and had to come back for her kids. There's so many things you can do to prevent someone from "upstaging" you. You can simply apply a dress code. I've been to 4 weddings in the past two years, and there are several women who wear bright colors, short and long dresses. ALSO! Don't have your wedding on a weekend that ypur step kids are with THEIR MOTHER. I don't agree that the red dress is a red wedding dress. It just sounds like people are stretching and getting pressed because the bride was insecure.
I think red can look very complimentary in some ways. SIL had the wedding party wear red sashes and ties with all black. The wedding photos looked fire. We all got to choose our own style of dress or suit and check them with her. We looked like we were about to drop an album 😂 OP on this story tho, so horrible.
1. Groom could have picked up the kids few days prior - she didn’t need to be there 2. When he said she won’t be leaving as she is LIKE family - I’d be like cool then I’m out 3. The red dress girl wants something with the EX still 4. If it’s soo out of dresscode 😅 I’d suggest she can wear one of my other dresses to not stick out like a sore thumb
I’m cordial with my ex and his family. However, I would not go to their family events, especially a wedding, even if I was invited. The reason, respect! Respect the new gf or wife! Even if they act ok, it’s never a good feeling to see everyone, especially your in-laws and husband treat their ex in-law so wonderfully. It’s awkward as well.
I am so confused. Maybe is because I am from another country or what’s going on here. I find that so many people here have ZERO boundaries with their exes. What business does an ex have been at their exes wedding. I don’t see the point. Also do not tell me the ex is not going to be judging and looking at her every move. Also it doesn’t have to be the bride. If I go to a party and one of the host asks me to leave; I HAVE TO LEAVE. I do not want to be where I am not wanted it. I already KNOW this woman is a pain and a burden for his new relationship and I would not date it married a man who does not keep his ex her she belongs.
She dressed the kids in red to match her dress and then insisted on staying so that everyone at the wedding wouldn't mistake the new bride as the mother of the children. It's incredibly aggressive and gross.
Why even invite her in the first place if you “didn’t” think she would show up. Also could have easily asked to switch weekends. I have never heard of a red dress being taboo at a wedding. It should have stopped at not even inviting her to the wedding.
Yeah, that part was weird. If she didn’t want the ex at the wedding, she should have said so. Just expecting her to not show up when she’s been invited sounds a little immature.
People who are at your wedding should be people who support the union. So don't invite people who don't support it and don't ever expect other to turn down invites.
Even if that was not the dress, I still say OP is an AH. Demanding to stay at a wedding where 1/2 of the married couple does not want you in attendance is tacky. The bride being insecure is not her problem to deal with or combat. As long as she’s good to the kids, respects mom, and the ex is happy, who cares? I would chill at the hotel and let her new husband deal with that.
New thing for you to ruminate: my 69 year old aunt is getting married this fall. She is having a colored wedding dress that is considered a neutral. Thanks to your post I messaged her and let her know her general guests may be wearing that color because it is a neutral.
'a day that's supposed to be happy and stress free' 😂 I eloped the 2nd time in the lowest key possible and stuff still went wrong on the day. I'm not sure a stress free wedding is possible!
I bought a dress for my niece's wedding. It had a black bodice and a bright print skirt and my husband told me I should not wear black to a wedding. I love my niece so I checked with her Mum and my niece who was fine with it. But I was quite conscious of maybe being in the wrong even though I felt good. I had spent a lot because I bought a matching jacket, shoes and bag. My other niece said I looked great but my husband didn't like it. Who makes these stupid rules? When I got married both my bridesmaids were in cream with lilac accessories. One wanted a black dress but I said no as it was in a church and I knew my Mum would hate bridesmaids wearing black.
I mean unless it's the theme, don't wear a color that's loud and could be seen as obnoxious. You can be colorful without being attention-seeking. Like, I was a bridesmaid and our dress colors were bright red, but that's an exception. OP was being petty as hell and I feel bad for the bride, especially for the husband and family not having her back In that kind of scenario, my bridal party knew they had my full permission to "spill" food and/or drink and ruin the outfit 😂 then again we didn't invite anyone who would behave like OP.
I asked on our wedding website for women to please refrain from wearing the bridal party colors (white and black) and instead dress in warm winter colors if possible. I wouldn’t care about a red dress although I was raised that is disrespectful but a white dress is unacceptable and i don’t want someone to feel bad they look like the bridal party either (our bridal party is wearing all black). Guess I’ll see if there is a thread about our wedding lol
So, as frustrating as it is to drive 2 and a half hours to a wedding ONLY to drop your kids off, if the bride and/or groom make it clear you aren't wanted there, the classy thing to do is leave. I wouldn't want to be at a place I wasn't wanted, I'd feel uncomfortable the entire time, especially if they are going to be in my life for a very long time, I wouldn't want to start things off on the wrong foot. I'd find stuff to do in the area, or surrounding area if the wedding was literally in the middle of nowhere. Next, they didn't specify whether it was an evening wedding/black tie event or if it was cocktail dress attire. If Black Tie (I highly doubt it if kids were invited, a little to fancy for kids to be invited) ehhhh I can kinda forgive the faux pas, but based on everything I've heard, this ex wife wore and F-U red bridal gown. She literally did sleep with the groom as he is her ex husband, and her dress was labeled "bridal gown" online, and it would have taken attention away from the bride. If it was blue, maroon, green or literally any other color that's not white, cream, eggshell, beige, champaign, light peach, anything that could be confused with white, she would have been ok. BTW I love Morgan's jacket with the fur!!!
Before reply: If the bride asks you to leave, why not just leave? Go to the mall and walk around or see a movie and pick yp the kids later. Like what was she so invested in? After response: Yup same. The dress was disrespectful and husband sucks for blowing off the bride.
Me personally if I was the bride I wouldn’t care because it’s my wedding day so it’s abt me. I can careless what dress you wore, because if a dress that someone wears bothers you that much. Then there is some underlying issue.
When I got married my brother in laws jealous ass baby mama said that she was going to wear a tight dress that was super low and super high slit to me. I’m sure that was meant to intimate me but I said go ahead 😂 no one looked at her anyways. If this lady was dressed more formal than bride because bride was not formal- she looks like the crazy one for sticking out. She should have left tho as the invitation is to be nice. Poor bride but them defending her shows a lot.
But also if you dont want someone to be at your event dont invite them. The 'Oh i invited you so i look good but i didnt think you were stupid enough to actually think that i wanted you to be there.' Really needs to stop.
If I were to get married, the only people in white would be me & my flower girl. I would be fine with all my other guests wearing any color they want, just not white or shades similar to white.
I do weddings, and it is extremely common for people to add a dress code to the wedding attire. They will say wear neutrals, do black tie, avant garde.. ect. For whatever fits the theme of their wedding. That way, no one can cross boundaries unintentionally or intentionally. The ones that don't adhere to the dress code, the attedants/security will check at the door and turn them away.
My ex-fiancé wanted me in the wedding party at his wedding. I said I feel like that I should be a guest at most because she might feel disrespected if I was in the wedding party. Having to see her husband's ex in her video and photos. She screamed "IIT'S MY SPECIAL DAY EVERYONE DO AS YOUR TOLD. My ex said, "Babe, I'm giving you everything you want. But this is also my day and it's my one request, she be a guest at the wedding." She said, "Fine" He said, "Plus she introduced us and has rooted for us as a couple always. She also saved my life twice when I tried too unalive myself.
just got to the bit where they show the dress and where i'm from that's a normal ass dress to wear to a wedding. cocktail dresses are not the norm for weddings. people wear more formal dresses here
alejandra back with another hot garbage take 😭girl you cant call everyone insecure, especially A BRIDE WHO DOESNT WANT AN EX AT A WEDDING. that is literally completely understandable. the brides family is going to be there and its HER special day FFS, why does she need a reminder of her husbands past showing up in a crazy red dress to cause tension. be so for real bro. the kids are supposed to be there because theyre his kids too but there is absolutely no reason for the crazy ex to show up there and stay after being asked to leave....
She’s not “like” family. She is family. When people get married and build lives together they become family and that doesn’t always go away with divorce. I don’t think OP had ill intentions, maybe she just didn’t want to feel insecure. And yes the dress is extra but also it sounds like the bride is kind of insecure with the dynamic of becoming a step parent and 2nd wife. Realistically the ex was invited and there’s not any real reason why she shouldn’t be allowed to attend with her children and share that moment. However if I was the ex and I was asked to leave by the bride I would just go, that’s not the time to put up a fight and that’s where she could’ve just went out and got a margarita with chips and salsa and waited on her kiddos.
I wore red to my own wedding so made it clear that I was perfectly ok if folks wore white. My issue with my wedding was this. My sister in law was asked to be a groomsman as her and my husband were really close. He requested that she wear a suit like the guys and she did. However, Once we got to the reception, she had changed her clothes because she "hated the suit" and opted for the shortest, skimpiest tight black dress. I've seen more clothes on a prostitute. We were both a little annoyed at her choice of clothing but mostly at the audacity of her to change in the first place when we were still doing wedding shit. We decided after a discussion to just let it go and focus on the wedding. We were overheard and she was told we had an issue. She proceeded to start all sorts of drama for the rest of the day and subsequently, the rest of the years to follow. She went off the deep end. Needless to say, we wish we could crop her out of all our wedding photos and we still don't speak to her even though we tried to patch things multiple times. It's been 11 years...lol Some people just wouldn't know manners and etiquette if it slapped them in the face.
Honestly the whole thing could have been and should have been avoided by the dad just arranging other transportation for the kids. Or discussing with the bride whether or not the ex would be allowed to stay at the wedding and then making their decision about that super clear to the ex. But even if you thought you were invited to the wedding once the bride made it clear she wanted you to leave the common sense thing to do would have been to just leave.
Honestly, if the bride or groom asks you to leave (as long as one of them don’t want you there), you gotta leave. It’s not your day, I don’t care what the context is. Let the bride and groom enjoy their day.
2 Hour drive is a long drive just to drop kids off and then pick them up. When they set up the day for the wedding, why would you not pick a day that you have the kids or talk and ask about switching a weekend, so the kids can be there if you didn’t want the ex there. As I was going through comments on both of them it was a formal event. Also was stated that the ex wasn’t the only one wearing red besides the kids. I looked at the dress she posted with the story SHE EVEN STATED WITH THE LINK THAT it isn’t the exact dress. It was a similar ish one that best she could find for reference. For the bride If I send out an invite to my wedding, why would I assume they’re not gonna come if I sent it out. To me it seems like she’s insecure. There must be more going on that we don’t know. I think there needs to be better communication and planing out between the bride and groom with each other and the ex. If I marry someone or wanna marry someone they have kids of course their ex is gonna be always there and you have to deal with it and respect that their family might think of each other as family still because they were together especially if they have kids.
Why didn't they just plan the wedding on his parenting time? Unless they switched weekends, why would he expect her to give up her time for his wedding. She was ultimately invited so the kids could attend. If the bride didn't like it, the bride should have accepted no kids or planned the wedding during her husband's time. Expecting someone to drive 4 hours as a taxi on their time is also wild. Husband could have picked his own kids up and dropped them off or again, planned a wedding during his parenting time. The wife isn't the AH. Should have planned the wedding better.
I think the not that long of a drive thing is a Midwestern thing. I'm from Illinois and i also dont think 4hours is that bad. All my friends and i prefer to drive. We are about 3/4 hours away from Chicago and we take day trips from time to time, go to concerts etc and drive up and back sane day with out batting an eye. My bestie went with me to California for a one time only show (AFIs Sing the Sorrow anniversary show if anyone's curious.) last year and they even said theyd almost rather have driven as they arent a fan of airports.
Idk I hate to say it but I’m on the fence here, I 100% agree that she shouldn’t have worn the dress but everything else is not really that bad, I do think that the bride is reaching a bit saying that it ruined your wedding but she’s mad because the groom and the mother in law said that she’s like family…. That’s because she is family, she the mother of the grooms children and the mother of their grandchildren. She has a right to be there again don’t agree with the dress but everything else is not bad and then also get mad because the kids were told to call her by her name and not something of endearment well that type of name is earned if it were me in the situation I would tell my kids the same unless this was YEARS into the relationship and the kids started calling her something else. To me this shows not that the bride is insecure but just not confident in her relationship, if she was she would brush her off once she said she was staying and not see her as a threat but instead it was the opposite. A dress in general shouldn’t ruin a relationship. That’s just my unpopular opinion
Weddings are hard, I hate when I’m not super close with the couple cause I always wanna reach out & find out what color wedding party is wearing. I’m always worried I’ll show up wearing a sage green dress & look like a bridesmaid or something.
It’s hard because it’s possible that the husband wasn’t even paying attention to the fact that anything nefarious was going on. I could understand why it would make sense for red dress op to stay but for goodness sakes.
Haven’t watched yet but who the hell invites their ex to their wedding like WTF?!? Oh, as I was typing this I realized why she was there, she should have left.
I don’t understand how anyone could wear a dress more formal than the bride?? The Original poster is the AH but I still don’t get how her flamin red dress could overshadow the bride
Okay hell no, before any mention of the red wedding dress I already pegged her as the asshole. The bride was uncomfortable and she completely disrespected that and refused to leave. Her justification was that she brought there her kids on her day….so? This was a day for his kids too, a very special day. If she’s truly supportive and open to being an amicable coparent she would have accepted that this was a special occasion not only for him but for their kids as well. I don’t think the bride was being insecure in anyway. I think that the ex showed up there for the sole purpose of causing drama and I’m so glad people called her out for it.
In my culture, wearing a red dress implies that you are a single woman, nothing more. It also may not be. It’s a color at best. It’s easier for those to identify the single woman if they are willing to meet other singles at the wedding. Plus it’s just a color. You would equally grab the attention of others if you were to wear something neon. I don’t see the problem in this. If she were wearing white, that would be different. The dress shown is completely acceptable in my opinion.
I can maybe see why the bride was angry it is a bit inappropriate. Red is reserved for only brides in my culture and white is for well funerals. However I wouldn't have minded if someone wore it to my wedding. Its still weird though that the guy and his mom supported the ex and not the new bride who is going to be significant part of their life. I usually go for blue or green on others wedding though 😂 safest option
The OP was definitely an AH for wearing the dress. But honestly every guest there is going to think she's an ass for wearing it for sure. Bringing the kids and watching them so that they could be there, but groom or his family were able to enjoy the day-- but that dress made her an ass. The bride needs to just have a boundary discussion with new husband. This whole situation could have been avoided with actual communication.
I'm gonna say that for the first story, it's not just 2 hours. If it were her weekend with the kids, she'd be driving a total of 8 hours. That's if she didn't stay, 2 hours to drop them off. 2 hours to go back. Another 2 hours to pick them back up and 2 hours to go back. That's not 4 hours. That's 8 hours, and that sounds like a nightmare of driving. I don't agree with the style of dress, though! That is disrespectful!
So, not cool that she wore that dress. HOWEVER, why did the dad schedule his wedding on a weekend that his kids weren’t with him if he wanted them there and then expect the mom to bring them? I think they are both A’s.
I think the bride was %100 being insecure. That being said, the ex was outta pocket posting about it. Not everyone is conniving and plotting. Some people are just dumb. Maybe she saw it was red and wanted to match her kids and just point blank didn’t have the thought process to not wear something that’s Lacey like a wedding dress. So many people wear red to weddings. I’ve been to a million weddings and there are ALWAYS women wearing red. I think it’s the bride who made too much of a big deal and ruined her own day
Everyone sucks. Ex wife for being an jealous attention seeker. Husband for not standing up for the new wife. New wife sucks because she choose a date that was not their day. All this could have been avoided if she had just chosen a day they have the kids.
The dress was over the top, and OP should have worn something a little less like a wedding dress. But the bride is also in the wrong for wanting the kids to call her something other than her first name. I’m bothered that the bride and groom opted to have their wedding on a day that OP was supposed to have the kids. So yea… driving two hours there just to drop off the kids would not have happened. And if I was asked to leave… my kids would be going with me! Maybe they should have scheduled the wedding on Dad’s parenting time.
@ludmilamaiolini6811 yes. For many parents ,time is precious. He could have opened his court docs and picked any of the days he had the kids. She is ENTITLED to her court ordered time with her kids. If he pamsn a wedding during that time, either expect the kids to go with their mom or stay home with their mom. But it's her time with her kids. Bride and groom should have picked a better day. A day he is ENTITLED to.
Shouldn’t have gotten married if they didn’t like the relationship with the ex. I don’t think there was anything wrong. Some people just dress too simple, and some don’t.
We should all know by now not to wear white, black, red or the wedding colours to a wedding (its not a great idea to look like a bridesmaid when you arent one), unless there is a clear cut dress code that means you ahve to wear those colours.
I think it’s a really bad drive. I wouldn’t do 4 hours just to drop kids off unless invited. I’m already switching days with them; they can figure out transportation for the kids.
My wedding, I wore a red wedding dress. I'm Asian though so it was a modern Qipao. Most gorgeous dress I've ever seen and worn and I HATE wearing dresses
I simply wouldn’t get married. When you and your ex break up and you separate that’s the end of that relationship. I don’t care if she has your kids. She is no longer part of the family. She does not have any legal ties to the family, nor does she have any blood ties herself. Just because she has children that share blood with the groom doesn’t mean that she’s part of the family like no the fuck she’s not, and if my mother-in-law and my future husband was to act this way, I simply would not get married I swear on everything.
I've never disagreed more when I heard you say 4 hours isn't a long drive
2 hours to the wedding, 2 hours back home. Not that bad
4 hour drive is like a whole gas tank plus 4 hours of your time just sitting in a car to drop off the kids only
yeah 4hrs is a lot, 1/4 of your time awake in a day just sitting behind a wheel
It’s really not if you’re used to the drive. I used to drive 4 hrs back and forth every week to just pick up my children.
Depends, I live in a big city where commute can take you hour and half or more, so to me 4 hours is nothing
Apparently in some cultures, if a guest was to wear red means that they have either slept with the groom or that they are having an affair with the groom.
If that was the ex’s intention, than that adds a whole new layer of issues/ disrespect
Edit: just got to the part where they mention it. I really think some people take this tradition seriously
Technically the ex had slept with the groom, just not recently.
@@imjuliewaters ofcourse but I was thinking maybe she is trying to imply (whether it’s true or not) that she has slept with the groom recently
It’s bananas how many different Types of meanings there are for so many different colors of clothing when it comes to weddings. It seems like no matter what you wear to a wedding your likely to offend some type of wedding culture.
Some other cultures a dress like that would be fully acceptable, and something less fancy would be considered unpolite. She said in one of her answers the event was set as black tie and on my country that would be the majority of dresses type used. I don't think she wronged on the dress choice and she maybe thought it was ok (since she shared the dress picture she might see it as ok). But I do think she was wrong by not leaving! I understand that can be painful, but if the bride is uncomfortable you leave! I would leave my kids there if there was someone to keep an eye on them and to bring it back to my place after. Or I would take my kids with me and they wouldn't participate on the wedding as his father didn't make any arrangements for their safety.
@anacaroleted exactly some people including women just aren't that into weddings and so we don't know that much about them or the rules. I mean before my own wedding I didn't really understand weddings. At my own wedding I wanted people to be comfortable so I told them ro wear what they wanted all that really mattered to me was that the wedding party's color themes matched. I didn't care about the style or type if dress about the wedding party or guest because it didn't matter to Me.
Now my husband and I had have both only ever been married to each other and we only have kids with each other so if it was my second wedding I might feel differently. That being said I like people to feel comfortable because of me not uncomfortable.
So I likely would have left depending on how old my kids are at the time and who if someone is watching them. Right now I wouldn't leave my 3 year old child alone for longer than 37 seconds cause she's like moglie from the jungle book. If nobody is watching her or the person isn't able to keep her safe than either I'm staying with her or she's coming with me.
4 hour round trip just to drop off the kids IS a long journey. I was always told that you didn’t wear red to a wedding as it represents Blood & Bandages, as in trouble!
I was told it means you slept with the groom 😅
It’s also just the most flashy and attention grabbing color you could wear, couldn’t imagine being so selfish centered i couldn’t let someone else stand out for one day.
The comments siding with OP saying that the bride was being insecure and overreacting have me shocked 😮 damn even on her own day she can't show how she felt towards the situation without being called insecure and overreacting...
I don’t think she was overreacting but I do think she felt insecure (nothing wrong with that!) Also, the fact that the groom and groom’s mother sided with the ex shows that she has every right to be insecure
Why invite someone to your wedding but then tell them to leave ??
I’ve always heard that wearing red to a wedding was to signify that you’ve slept with the groom… as if the kids weren’t enough proof of that 🙄
The bride should definitely take issue with husband for not having her back though
Well my wedding dress was red but it was an Indian wedding 😂
It also makes you stand out like a sore thumb. It’s just disrespectful in my opinion.
@@Danie_pixie lol well that makes it totally fine! From what I’ve witnessed, the more colors the better at an Indian wedding? Pretty much anything but white?
@margielou6914 absolutely! 🤣 most colorful but gorgeous wedding I've ever been to.
I’m on the brides side on this one. The ex clearly has some unresolved emotions still tied to the husband
Honestly I think her husband shouldn't have invited their Ex but because they did the fact that people expected a mother to leave young children alone in an event where most people will be drinking over a red dress. I get it seems disrespectful but most lacey dresses are literally just recolored wedding dresses. I don't even like lace. I think that the rule should be never wear lace to a wedding because of how often it's just a recolored wedding dress.
At my brothers wedding, my aunt just so happened to be wearing the same dress as my mom (the mother of the groom). It was a total coincidence, nothing shady. My aunt immediately ran to her hotel room and changed so she wouldn’t be matching my mom. She knew it would be a mess if it ended up in the photos. Luckily, she had another dress and all was right in the world. Lesson learned? BRING EXTRA CLOTHES!
I think they’re both wrong.
Ex definitely tried to show up and be noticed. That’s obvious. So she sucks.
New wife technically had a right to kick her out, but you cannot seriously say 4 hours isn’t a long drive, like what lol
But also, the part that bothered me is that new wife is upset the kids call her by her name and not something more special. That’s your name, and these aren’t your kids, why do you think you automatically get to be like a third parent? That’s not how it works. So she sucks too.
And then also the husband sucks for not sticking up for his new wife.
So everyone here sucks except the kids lol
The mom has been telling the kids not to acknowledge her as a third parent. So no, I disagree that the new wife is a bad guy. The kids probably want to call her mom or something, but birth mom is not encouraging it at all.
@@k.marcie I mean they could call her Mimi, Gigi, Nana, or another term of endearment.
@@eathomelivewhy? She is their fathers wife nothing more
My gosh some women treat each other so poorly. I agree that the ex was deliberately and passive aggressively trying to affect the bride. The bride is completely justified in how she felt. It is despicable that her husband did not back her up either. It is a concerning red flag that he never brought up his ex attending, let alone her attending in a formal floor length red dress, with THEIR children from THEIR past relationship all being dressed in bright 'look at me' red. This was so considered by the ex. I really feel for the bride. It is sad she had noone else to kick this ex out.
The bride needs to reconsider her marriage - does her spouse back her up in other areas? Are there other areas he ignores her in favour of others? Does the bride want to constantly repress her feelings and 'be the bigger person'? Hell no. You deserved a happy day and a supportive spouse.
I've been to one wedding and knew nothing of dress code, so I wore a short lace white dress. To this day I cringe when I think about it, and wish my 2 friends told me how dumb I was and made me change🤦
You didn't know that it is a fauxpas. You were innocent. I hope you don't let it bother you too much. Now you know not to do it.
I feel bad for the bride
I mean I kinda feel bad for OP too. The Ex's new wife legitimately expected OP to dump her children at a party she didn't know half the people there. Not to mention alot of weddings involve drinking. So leaving children in a building with a bunch of strangers while they were drinking. It's crazy how many dresses are literally just wedding dresses in different colors. It's possible that if OP hasn't gotten married she could feel like the bride and groom were rubbing her face in it. I think if the husband wanted the children he could've asked a family member to actually watch her children.
I’ve heard this story on another Reddit podcast and there was the brides pov as an update and she included a picture of the dress, it was literally listed as a red WEDDING dress on the website where it was bought
This needs to be higher up! I remember seeing it, and it's a WEDDING DRESS 😮
Am I the only one who would have walked out on the wedding? I don’t care if my future hubby views the ex like family, they are not anymore! You either have my back or I leave because I have neither the time nor the energy to deal with those two ganging up on me when I express a boundary. 😡
Facts but I’m to old for games and would not put up with them.
I’ve would’ve told him, either you stand by me, or you two can get remarried! Because I’m done! You know what, if I have to make him choose! He isn’t the one! I would just tell myself! This isn’t it! There’s so much better out there! Just tell the ex, she won the prize! And I am done! It would hurt! But it will save a lot of headaches.
Maybe don't expect a mother to leave her children with a bunch of people she doesn't know. I mean I would've taken my children from the wedding and told Ex that if I can't supervise my own children while everyone else parties that they weren't gonna be there with a bunch of strangers drinking.
@@Littlereddevil94 I would agree with you except it was the groom who did the inviting not her. Woman probably thought was weird but that he had it handled. Like the in-laws would babysit or something
I don’t have a problem with viewing the ex like family, since she’s the mother of his children, but they made it sound like she’s more like family than the new wife. That would’ve made me incredibly salty.
Ex should never have been invited to the wedding. That is so unfair on the bride. I'd be questioning my new husbands rationale..
I was NOT expecting them to originally agree with the ex wife!?!
Why would they choose someone else’s comfort and preference over the bride’s.
Oh-why on earth did they plan the wedding on a weekend when he doesn’t have custody? Why couldn’t the in laws have brought the kids. Super sketchy
If someone asks you to leave an event they are hosting, you leave. That's that. Doesn't matter if it's a birthday party, a retirement party, a wedding - doesn't matter. If the host doesn't want you there, it's so cringe to insist you're leaving. I'm calling the cops to get you off my property at that point.
Damn. Like, yeah the bride was insecure, but like… it’s her wedding day. And you wore a crazy fancy dress 🤷♀️ I mean, I would’ve just made sure there was someone that was going to remain sober and be responsible to watch the kids, and I’d peace out until it was done. If there was no one willing to remain sober to watch the kiddos I would have gone somewhere to eat and maybe just play on my phone at whichever restaurant or bar i could chill at for the duration of the ceremony. Then, I’d go back and get my kids. I kinda get both sides here. But I don’t wanna be at a wedding that the bride doesn’t want me at. That’s embarrassing lol, and as a momma who co parents, I’ve found that keeping the peace and picking your battles (even if that means retreating from a significant battle such as this one) is imperative to the health of the co-parenting relationship. And I wouldn’t ever wear something that would even come close to up-staging a bride. That’s Just wedding etiquette 101.
Wearing elaborate, garish, fancy clothing to weddings is 100% expected in my culture, it’s more disrespectful to come in demure or muted colors. All of this just sounds like unresolved feelings and a touch of ego on both sides.
Or maybe it's just different than what's normal in your culture? Idk how you can say one is okay because it's YOUR culture but judge others for not sharing the same traditions. Nobody expects wedding guests to dress poorly but where I'm from, it's definitely seen as rude to literally show up in a wedding dress as a guest, especially at your exes wedding. This doesn't mean wear your worst dress, it just means to be considerate of the bride and groom by letting them have their shine.
@@allysaurus96 Genuinely don't see what came across as judgmental in my original comment lol interesting but okay!
The only thing I’m shocked about is someone saying “4 hours isn’t a long drive” not only is that a long drive for me but it’s expensive with these gas prices 🤣
I’m not saying I agree with the ex BUT 4 hours IS a long time for some people. Also how much you wanna bet she’d have to pick them back up at the end so they could go on their honeymoon? Making it an 8 hour driving day. How expensive is that also?
For the record, having a helpful little guide on what to wear sounds amazing. I mean, don't force all your guests to wear a specific colors. But just including 1 little square on the board that says,
"-Reminder- Please don't wear:
•White
•Red
-Thank you!-"
The bride shouldnt have made a huge deal out of this. I wouldve yelled OMG you look so GOOD in that red dress! Look everyone! Look how AMAZING she looks? Kill them with kindness, dear. The ex wanted you to feel this way. She wanted your day to be ruined. Mission accomplished.
I don't think she made a big deal out of it, if the event of the day continued. Just because you make your opinion know (it's her day) it does not mean she over reacted...
I'm from Michigan & to the people that I know, wearing a red dress says, 'I slept with the groom'. That ex knew exactly what she was doing. A FLOOR length red wedding dress, with train? Seriously? I would have looked at my groom & said which one of us is leaving? That is a hill I would die on. Her being there was appropriate with the circumstances, however her & her family in red, screaming look at us? Oh hell no! When attending a wedding you want to look nicely put together, without trying to grab all the attention. No need for red or shocking clothing or hair etc. Not. Your. Day.
Why would the bride expect her to drive 4 hours round trip just to bring the kids? If that was the case the groom's parents could have done it. The bride sounds insecure. She should have made sure in advance what the ex had responsed to the invitation and then at that time dealt with the response. What was the dress code given for the wedding? Did the ex know she was showing up in a nicer gown than the bride? I need more context to say who the AH is. Right now the bride just sounds really insecure.
If someone is wearing a red WEDDING DRESS to my wedding? You can drive your two hours back home. I’m sure the bride wouldn’t have told her to leave if she wasn’t wearing a wedding dress. A red wedding dress.
@@ms.tinygiant I think this is very cultural. In Brazil is pretty common to wear dresses like this to a formal wedding. Initially I felt very strange with the dress public reaction and saw some wedding dresses people showed as appropriate and if any of those dresses were wore on my wedding I would be angry as they wouldn't look fancy enough. Initially I didn't think OP did anything wrong, but if was me, would have left that party simple because I was clearly not welcomed and would agree with the father about the kids care. Later I would try to resolve this in a more appropriate time. But I saw a comment that said the OP was bragging about upstaging the bride of her ex in the subreddit trueofmychest (couldn't find this post though, not sure if is true).
EDIT: Just saw it was the bride truthofmychest post
I agree with you! Technically, 8 hours if she did leave and had to come back for her kids. There's so many things you can do to prevent someone from "upstaging" you. You can simply apply a dress code. I've been to 4 weddings in the past two years, and there are several women who wear bright colors, short and long dresses. ALSO! Don't have your wedding on a weekend that ypur step kids are with THEIR MOTHER. I don't agree that the red dress is a red wedding dress. It just sounds like people are stretching and getting pressed because the bride was insecure.
Feel like the dad should have sorted that out tho, it’s not on the bride to handle his ex and kids.
@@lilfairykiki122 agree
I think red can look very complimentary in some ways. SIL had the wedding party wear red sashes and ties with all black. The wedding photos looked fire. We all got to choose our own style of dress or suit and check them with her. We looked like we were about to drop an album 😂 OP on this story tho, so horrible.
1. Groom could have picked up the kids few days prior - she didn’t need to be there
2. When he said she won’t be leaving as she is LIKE family - I’d be like cool then I’m out
3. The red dress girl wants something with the EX still
4. If it’s soo out of dresscode 😅 I’d suggest she can wear one of my other dresses to not stick out like a sore thumb
I’m cordial with my ex and his family. However, I would not go to their family events, especially a wedding, even if I was invited. The reason, respect! Respect the new gf or wife! Even if they act ok, it’s never a good feeling to see everyone, especially your in-laws and husband treat their ex in-law so wonderfully. It’s awkward as well.
"Dont invite me to your wedding then" GIRL she told her to leave????
I am so confused. Maybe is because I am from another country or what’s going on here. I find that so many people here have ZERO boundaries with their exes. What business does an ex have been at their exes wedding. I don’t see the point. Also do not tell me the ex is not going to be judging and looking at her every move.
Also it doesn’t have to be the bride. If I go to a party and one of the host asks me to leave; I HAVE TO LEAVE. I do not want to be where I am not wanted it. I already KNOW this woman is a pain and a burden for his new relationship and I would not date it married a man who does not keep his ex her she belongs.
The red dress at a wedding is outdated. Any color is acceptable except white lol people need to stop being so sensitive
Wow you’re insensitive.
She dressed the kids in red to match her dress and then insisted on staying so that everyone at the wedding wouldn't mistake the new bride as the mother of the children. It's incredibly aggressive and gross.
Why even invite her in the first place if you “didn’t” think she would show up. Also could have easily asked to switch weekends. I have never heard of a red dress being taboo at a wedding. It should have stopped at not even inviting her to the wedding.
Yeah, that part was weird. If she didn’t want the ex at the wedding, she should have said so. Just expecting her to not show up when she’s been invited sounds a little immature.
if she did say something before the wedding her husband and mil was going to do it anyway
People who are at your wedding should be people who support the union. So don't invite people who don't support it and don't ever expect other to turn down invites.
I had no idea about red. But I was thinking like a knee length dress you’d wear to church not a full length gown! Honestly she is TA.
Even if that was not the dress, I still say OP is an AH. Demanding to stay at a wedding where 1/2 of the married couple does not want you in attendance is tacky. The bride being insecure is not her problem to deal with or combat. As long as she’s good to the kids, respects mom, and the ex is happy, who cares? I would chill at the hotel and let her new husband deal with that.
Also, wearing red at the a wedding mean that you slept with the groom.
Edit: RECENTLY slept with the groom.
She had kids with the guy, yeah she's slept with him.
@@imjuliewaters No, RECENTLY slept with the groom.
I just think this is so stupid. Never heard about that in my life outside of the Internet
lol not in hispanic culture for sure. in miami, wearing red is as popular as wearing black
But in some cultures red and gold are THE wedding colours
New thing for you to ruminate: my 69 year old aunt is getting married this fall. She is having a colored wedding dress that is considered a neutral. Thanks to your post I messaged her and let her know her general guests may be wearing that color because it is a neutral.
'a day that's supposed to be happy and stress free' 😂 I eloped the 2nd time in the lowest key possible and stuff still went wrong on the day. I'm not sure a stress free wedding is possible!
Mine was pretty stress free to be honest.
I'm sorry, but i wouldn’t stand to drive two full hours, either.
Lady's if you do things like this ex in this story...just know it's tacky 😂 and not classy.
I bought a dress for my niece's wedding. It had a black bodice and a bright print skirt and my husband told me I should not wear black to a wedding. I love my niece so I checked with her Mum and my niece who was fine with it. But I was quite conscious of maybe being in the wrong even though I felt good. I had spent a lot because I bought a matching jacket, shoes and bag. My other niece said I looked great but my husband didn't like it. Who makes these stupid rules? When I got married both my bridesmaids were in cream with lilac accessories. One wanted a black dress but I said no as it was in a church and I knew my Mum would hate bridesmaids wearing black.
I mean unless it's the theme, don't wear a color that's loud and could be seen as obnoxious. You can be colorful without being attention-seeking. Like, I was a bridesmaid and our dress colors were bright red, but that's an exception. OP was being petty as hell and I feel bad for the bride, especially for the husband and family not having her back
In that kind of scenario, my bridal party knew they had my full permission to "spill" food and/or drink and ruin the outfit 😂 then again we didn't invite anyone who would behave like OP.
I asked on our wedding website for women to please refrain from wearing the bridal party colors (white and black) and instead dress in warm winter colors if possible. I wouldn’t care about a red dress although I was raised that is disrespectful but a white dress is unacceptable and i don’t want someone to feel bad they look like the bridal party either (our bridal party is wearing all black). Guess I’ll see if there is a thread about our wedding lol
"There's all these wedding rules? But there's this grey area"
and grey is very close to white.
As a California girl….4 hours is a lot. It’s too much in time and gas
In my country that red dress is too simple for going to a wedding people are dramatic 💀
I always check to see what the wedding colors are so I don’t match anyone in the wedding party/ decor either
So, as frustrating as it is to drive 2 and a half hours to a wedding ONLY to drop your kids off, if the bride and/or groom make it clear you aren't wanted there, the classy thing to do is leave. I wouldn't want to be at a place I wasn't wanted, I'd feel uncomfortable the entire time, especially if they are going to be in my life for a very long time, I wouldn't want to start things off on the wrong foot. I'd find stuff to do in the area, or surrounding area if the wedding was literally in the middle of nowhere. Next, they didn't specify whether it was an evening wedding/black tie event or if it was cocktail dress attire. If Black Tie (I highly doubt it if kids were invited, a little to fancy for kids to be invited) ehhhh I can kinda forgive the faux pas, but based on everything I've heard, this ex wife wore and F-U red bridal gown. She literally did sleep with the groom as he is her ex husband, and her dress was labeled "bridal gown" online, and it would have taken attention away from the bride. If it was blue, maroon, green or literally any other color that's not white, cream, eggshell, beige, champaign, light peach, anything that could be confused with white, she would have been ok. BTW I love Morgan's jacket with the fur!!!
Before reply: If the bride asks you to leave, why not just leave? Go to the mall and walk around or see a movie and pick yp the kids later. Like what was she so invested in?
After response: Yup same. The dress was disrespectful and husband sucks for blowing off the bride.
Me personally if I was the bride I wouldn’t care because it’s my wedding day so it’s abt me. I can careless what dress you wore, because if a dress that someone wears bothers you that much. Then there is some underlying issue.
There should be a rule to never wear lace to a wedding. Id never be upset about red at my wedding but everyone has their own superstitions
When I got married my brother in laws jealous ass baby mama said that she was going to wear a tight dress that was super low and super high slit to me. I’m sure that was meant to intimate me but I said go ahead 😂 no one looked at her anyways. If this lady was dressed more formal than bride because bride was not formal- she looks like the crazy one for sticking out. She should have left tho as the invitation is to be nice. Poor bride but them defending her shows a lot.
But also if you dont want someone to be at your event dont invite them. The 'Oh i invited you so i look good but i didnt think you were stupid enough to actually think that i wanted you to be there.' Really needs to stop.
And to some people wearing red to a wedding literally means you slept with one of the people getting married
that literally looks like my prom dress from 2014 hahaha
If I were to get married, the only people in white would be me & my flower girl. I would be fine with all my other guests wearing any color they want, just not white or shades similar to white.
This poor bride. Her new husband and MIL have just proven that she is not a priority, and the ex will always be picked over her.
I do weddings, and it is extremely common for people to add a dress code to the wedding attire. They will say wear neutrals, do black tie, avant garde.. ect. For whatever fits the theme of their wedding. That way, no one can cross boundaries unintentionally or intentionally. The ones that don't adhere to the dress code, the attedants/security will check at the door and turn them away.
2 hours driving with kids is a lot
My ex-fiancé wanted me in the wedding party at his wedding. I said I feel like that I should be a guest at most because she might feel disrespected if I was in the wedding party. Having to see her husband's ex in her video and photos. She screamed "IIT'S MY SPECIAL DAY EVERYONE DO AS YOUR TOLD. My ex said, "Babe, I'm giving you everything you want. But this is also my day and it's my one request, she be a guest at the wedding." She said, "Fine" He said, "Plus she introduced us and has rooted for us as a couple always. She also saved my life twice when I tried too unalive myself.
just got to the bit where they show the dress and where i'm from that's a normal ass dress to wear to a wedding. cocktail dresses are not the norm for weddings. people wear more formal dresses here
Since when red is forbidden? In Spain red is one of the most popular colors for a wedding dress
alejandra back with another hot garbage take 😭girl you cant call everyone insecure, especially A BRIDE WHO DOESNT WANT AN EX AT A WEDDING. that is literally completely understandable. the brides family is going to be there and its HER special day FFS, why does she need a reminder of her husbands past showing up in a crazy red dress to cause tension. be so for real bro. the kids are supposed to be there because theyre his kids too but there is absolutely no reason for the crazy ex to show up there and stay after being asked to leave....
She shouldn’t be insecure because at the end of the day they both married the guy😂
Don't marry someone's sloppy seconds. Problem solved.
@@DeidresStuffBro, pretty much everyone in relationships are someone else’s sloppy seconds 💀 Nowadays, everyone has at least one ex.
She’s not “like” family. She is family. When people get married and build lives together they become family and that doesn’t always go away with divorce. I don’t think OP had ill intentions, maybe she just didn’t want to feel insecure. And yes the dress is extra but also it sounds like the bride is kind of insecure with the dynamic of becoming a step parent and 2nd wife. Realistically the ex was invited and there’s not any real reason why she shouldn’t be allowed to attend with her children and share that moment. However if I was the ex and I was asked to leave by the bride I would just go, that’s not the time to put up a fight and that’s where she could’ve just went out and got a margarita with chips and salsa and waited on her kiddos.
I wore red to my own wedding so made it clear that I was perfectly ok if folks wore white. My issue with my wedding was this. My sister in law was asked to be a groomsman as her and my husband were really close. He requested that she wear a suit like the guys and she did. However, Once we got to the reception, she had changed her clothes because she "hated the suit" and opted for the shortest, skimpiest tight black dress. I've seen more clothes on a prostitute. We were both a little annoyed at her choice of clothing but mostly at the audacity of her to change in the first place when we were still doing wedding shit. We decided after a discussion to just let it go and focus on the wedding. We were overheard and she was told we had an issue. She proceeded to start all sorts of drama for the rest of the day and subsequently, the rest of the years to follow. She went off the deep end. Needless to say, we wish we could crop her out of all our wedding photos and we still don't speak to her even though we tried to patch things multiple times. It's been 11 years...lol Some people just wouldn't know manners and etiquette if it slapped them in the face.
Honestly the whole thing could have been and should have been avoided by the dad just arranging other transportation for the kids. Or discussing with the bride whether or not the ex would be allowed to stay at the wedding and then making their decision about that super clear to the ex. But even if you thought you were invited to the wedding once the bride made it clear she wanted you to leave the common sense thing to do would have been to just leave.
Honestly, if the bride or groom asks you to leave (as long as one of them don’t want you there), you gotta leave. It’s not your day, I don’t care what the context is. Let the bride and groom enjoy their day.
I would not have went through with this marriage. If my to be husband cant or wont support me on a day like this, then i dont want him.
I've heard red dresses at a wedding mean you've been with the groom first. That definitely looks like a wedding dress in red
Um, I mean that's a touchy subject.
2 Hour drive is a long drive just to drop kids off and then pick them up. When they set up the day for the wedding, why would you not pick a day that you have the kids or talk and ask about switching a weekend, so the kids can be there if you didn’t want the ex there. As I was going through comments on both of them it was a formal event. Also was stated that the ex wasn’t the only one wearing red besides the kids. I looked at the dress she posted with the story SHE EVEN STATED WITH THE LINK THAT it isn’t the exact dress. It was a similar ish one that best she could find for reference. For the bride If I send out an invite to my wedding, why would I assume they’re not gonna come if I sent it out. To me it seems like she’s insecure. There must be more going on that we don’t know. I think there needs to be better communication and planing out between the bride and groom with each other and the ex. If I marry someone or wanna marry someone they have kids of course their ex is gonna be always there and you have to deal with it and respect that their family might think of each other as family still because they were together especially if they have kids.
Why didn't they just plan the wedding on his parenting time? Unless they switched weekends, why would he expect her to give up her time for his wedding. She was ultimately invited so the kids could attend. If the bride didn't like it, the bride should have accepted no kids or planned the wedding during her husband's time. Expecting someone to drive 4 hours as a taxi on their time is also wild. Husband could have picked his own kids up and dropped them off or again, planned a wedding during his parenting time. The wife isn't the AH. Should have planned the wedding better.
I think the not that long of a drive thing is a Midwestern thing. I'm from Illinois and i also dont think 4hours is that bad. All my friends and i prefer to drive. We are about 3/4 hours away from Chicago and we take day trips from time to time, go to concerts etc and drive up and back sane day with out batting an eye. My bestie went with me to California for a one time only show (AFIs Sing the Sorrow anniversary show if anyone's curious.) last year and they even said theyd almost rather have driven as they arent a fan of airports.
Idk I hate to say it but I’m on the fence here, I 100% agree that she shouldn’t have worn the dress but everything else is not really that bad, I do think that the bride is reaching a bit saying that it ruined your wedding but she’s mad because the groom and the mother in law said that she’s like family…. That’s because she is family, she the mother of the grooms children and the mother of their grandchildren. She has a right to be there again don’t agree with the dress but everything else is not bad and then also get mad because the kids were told to call her by her name and not something of endearment well that type of name is earned if it were me in the situation I would tell my kids the same unless this was YEARS into the relationship and the kids started calling her something else. To me this shows not that the bride is insecure but just not confident in her relationship, if she was she would brush her off once she said she was staying and not see her as a threat but instead it was the opposite. A dress in general shouldn’t ruin a relationship. That’s just my unpopular opinion
Weddings are hard, I hate when I’m not super close with the couple cause I always wanna reach out & find out what color wedding party is wearing. I’m always worried I’ll show up wearing a sage green dress & look like a bridesmaid or something.
It’s hard because it’s possible that the husband wasn’t even paying attention to the fact that anything nefarious was going on. I could understand why it would make sense for red dress op to stay but for goodness sakes.
Haven’t watched yet but who the hell invites their ex to their wedding like WTF?!?
Oh, as I was typing this I realized why she was there, she should have left.
I don’t understand how anyone could wear a dress more formal than the bride?? The Original poster is the AH but I still don’t get how her flamin red dress could overshadow the bride
Okay hell no, before any mention of the red wedding dress I already pegged her as the asshole. The bride was uncomfortable and she completely disrespected that and refused to leave. Her justification was that she brought there her kids on her day….so? This was a day for his kids too, a very special day. If she’s truly supportive and open to being an amicable coparent she would have accepted that this was a special occasion not only for him but for their kids as well. I don’t think the bride was being insecure in anyway. I think that the ex showed up there for the sole purpose of causing drama and I’m so glad people called her out for it.
In my culture, wearing a red dress implies that you are a single woman, nothing more. It also may not be. It’s a color at best. It’s easier for those to identify the single woman if they are willing to meet other singles at the wedding. Plus it’s just a color. You would equally grab the attention of others if you were to wear something neon. I don’t see the problem in this. If she were wearing white, that would be different. The dress shown is completely acceptable in my opinion.
I think Stefanie has some issues with not called step mom or what ever.
And about the op she should have chosen a other dress
I can maybe see why the bride was angry it is a bit inappropriate. Red is reserved for only brides in my culture and white is for well funerals. However I wouldn't have minded if someone wore it to my wedding. Its still weird though that the guy and his mom supported the ex and not the new bride who is going to be significant part of their life. I usually go for blue or green on others wedding though 😂 safest option
The OP was definitely an AH for wearing the dress. But honestly every guest there is going to think she's an ass for wearing it for sure.
Bringing the kids and watching them so that they could be there, but groom or his family were able to enjoy the day-- but that dress made her an ass.
The bride needs to just have a boundary discussion with new husband. This whole situation could have been avoided with actual communication.
I'm gonna say that for the first story, it's not just 2 hours. If it were her weekend with the kids, she'd be driving a total of 8 hours. That's if she didn't stay, 2 hours to drop them off. 2 hours to go back. Another 2 hours to pick them back up and 2 hours to go back. That's not 4 hours. That's 8 hours, and that sounds like a nightmare of driving. I don't agree with the style of dress, though! That is disrespectful!
So, not cool that she wore that dress. HOWEVER, why did the dad schedule his wedding on a weekend that his kids weren’t with him if he wanted them there and then expect the mom to bring them? I think they are both A’s.
I think the bride was %100 being insecure. That being said, the ex was outta pocket posting about it. Not everyone is conniving and plotting. Some people are just dumb. Maybe she saw it was red and wanted to match her kids and just point blank didn’t have the thought process to not wear something that’s Lacey like a wedding dress. So many people wear red to weddings. I’ve been to a million weddings and there are ALWAYS women wearing red. I think it’s the bride who made too much of a big deal and ruined her own day
I am under the understanding that wearing a red dress at a wedding means you were with the groom.
Lol I wore red to my cousins wedding. Guess we're kissing cousins now🤣🤣🤣
Everyone sucks. Ex wife for being an jealous attention seeker. Husband for not standing up for the new wife. New wife sucks because she choose a date that was not their day. All this could have been avoided if she had just chosen a day they have the kids.
The dress was over the top, and OP should have worn something a little less like a wedding dress. But the bride is also in the wrong for wanting the kids to call her something other than her first name.
I’m bothered that the bride and groom opted to have their wedding on a day that OP was supposed to have the kids. So yea… driving two hours there just to drop off the kids would not have happened. And if I was asked to leave… my kids would be going with me! Maybe they should have scheduled the wedding on Dad’s parenting time.
Why couldn’t they just talk and switch weekends? I mean, is it too much to ask for?
@ludmilamaiolini6811 yes. For many parents ,time is precious. He could have opened his court docs and picked any of the days he had the kids. She is ENTITLED to her court ordered time with her kids. If he pamsn a wedding during that time, either expect the kids to go with their mom or stay home with their mom. But it's her time with her kids. Bride and groom should have picked a better day. A day he is ENTITLED to.
4 hours with multiple kids is a lot, like why didn’t the husband or his mom get the kids if the ex was going to be a problem
Shouldn’t have gotten married if they didn’t like the relationship with the ex. I don’t think there was anything wrong. Some people just dress too simple, and some don’t.
We should all know by now not to wear white, black, red or the wedding colours to a wedding (its not a great idea to look like a bridesmaid when you arent one), unless there is a clear cut dress code that means you ahve to wear those colours.
I think it’s a really bad drive. I wouldn’t do 4 hours just to drop kids off unless invited. I’m already switching days with them; they can figure out transportation for the kids.
My wedding, I wore a red wedding dress. I'm Asian though so it was a modern Qipao. Most gorgeous dress I've ever seen and worn and I HATE wearing dresses
I simply wouldn’t get married. When you and your ex break up and you separate that’s the end of that relationship. I don’t care if she has your kids. She is no longer part of the family. She does not have any legal ties to the family, nor does she have any blood ties herself. Just because she has children that share blood with the groom doesn’t mean that she’s part of the family like no the fuck she’s not, and if my mother-in-law and my future husband was to act this way, I simply would not get married I swear on everything.
Yes a 4 hour round trip is definitely a long drive you must love driving