My worst professional moment was falling asleep face down at the dinner table with a huge entertainment personality I was supposed to be interviewing. In hindsight the winery tour before dinner was not the best decision. That was the end of that particular gig. I wish I could go back and tell my ten year old self, sipping secretly out of my dad's beer, to put that shit down forever or face a life of pain and struggle. Wanted to add that I got your book yesterday and I've been lost in it for hours. You're a great storyteller and...quite a character. Thank you for sharing that gift.
I knew at 18 that it wasn’t for me. Terrible hangovers, mental anguish and that was if the night before went well. If I got in a scrape the night before it was a lot worse. But I persevered for 30 years which led to days long binges before finally finding sobriety. Just had a little relapse there and I’m so disappointed but also grateful that nothing that bad happened. I’m going to my first AA meeting on Monday. Best wishes everyone.
I am a recovering drug addict. Today is my first day sober after a relapse. The true test is tonight when the thoughts come. I think i can do it though.
Friday drinker here! Usually leads to me getting into other substances and generally feeling like trash until Monday, 13 days sober from everything, taking a 6 week break to see what the difference feels like. Quite enjoying it so far! Great video as usual
The first time I ever really drank. I looked up to my cousin. Literally. He is about 6'5". I was learning to become a man. I lifted weights and emulated him. He had me and his neighbor over one night to play quarters. I think I was about 17 ish. There was a little plastic cup. Probably about 10 oz. On a linoleum table in the kitchen. In my cousin's college house that he rented. My cousin was renting houses while in college. I'm still trying to get that far. Did I mentioned this story happened in the early 80s? Yeah. So, I hero worshipped him. We sat around the table playing quarters with increasingly restrictive rules necessitating chugging the little glass with a dirty quarter at the bottom of it. I'm lucky it didn't come loose and break one of my teeth. But it stuck. That was probably the only thing that went right. I threw up once and we kept playing. We took a break to lift some weights. I was going to do a tricep press. Forgetting that my cousin was about twice my size and strength. So, the bar came down on my forehead. I don't think it was too bad. Maybe I got a lump. Finally, I think we just ran out of beer, or it was getting too late or something. My cousin liked to set an alarm and get up early. So, I pretended I liked that too. He asked who wanted the waterbed. I called it. Thinking that would be cool. Not realizing that they aren't good to sleep on without a heater. Because we lived in a cold state. Water has a high specific temperature. Without getting too science-y, this was a hell of a night. My cousin awakened me the next morning. He drove me home. As I was getting out of the car, I think I said something like fuck you for doing this to me. You knew how terrible this was. He was taken aback. It wasn't the last time I ever blamed someone for me drinking. I often fantasize about going back in time. I return to this one a lot, but it's not where I would cut the splice for the butterfly effect. I would go back all the way to the first time I smoked a cigarette at eight years old. I would explain to my younger self that these things won't make me cool. Acceptance isn't worth my health. I don't have to be drunk to have sex. If that didn't work, I would continue each time to try explaining the same thing. Show myself the road I'm walking. I would go back each time before I drank and try to talk myself out of it. Just like Red in The Shawshank Redemption. The great thing about being young is you can actually do that. You haven't made all the mistakes yet. Go back in time now and talk yourself out of wasting money on destroying your health. Use your time and money to achieve things instead. Miracles can happen when you don't sabotage yourself beforehand. Also, old people don't hate you. At least I can say I don't. We've left a lot of problems behind for you to solve. I'm sorry for that. Now I'm asking for your best, even though I don't deserve it. Your best creativity and sober-minded power. I have confidence in your intelligence. I am constantly impressed by the fact that you never quit no matter what. I'll be cheering for you until I'm gone. No one will remember me. But you can be remembered for great things. It's there for the taking. All you have to do is not drink. The rewards are vast. All the gold and friendship is there. Your creative projects are there waiting to be born. Begging you to give them life, not take it away. Give them life. You won't regret it.
Another sober attempt, 2days and starting to feel better. Finished around 13:10 on Wednesday as i needed to drink to lesson the panic attacks. Your stories i wild and exiting. My alcoholism has been more depressive isolated experience. Sad when it goes on so long and a person approaches their 50’s there seems little hope. Feeling better today thats the main thing.
Very interesting you posted this video. The past couple of weeks I have been thinking about my drinking history. And how there were warning signs early on. I remember being 16 and drinking at a house parties and I would always be the most drunk there and would drink in excess, and thinking “I love this, I feel great”. I remember ruining nights out by getting too drunk and my friends having to get taxis for me. Doing and saying stupid things on nights out and regretting it, still to this day. That’s one of the reasons I started drinking alone. Now I am 6 months sober, and educated about alcohol and fully accepted the fact I’m an alcoholic, I can look back at all these signs and behaviours and understand that it was destined all along.
Congratulations on your sober time, long may it continue. And yeah, I totally understand that thing about being the most drunk in your friend group at 16. That was me too.
I am not an alcoholic thankfully as for me the prolonged negative impact it has on my sleep usually outweighs any social benefit I might be getting from ever having more than one unit. However, I want all of you guys gals and in betweens to succeed in your sobriety. 💪
I worked in a bar and got so intoxicated on shift one night but kept some form of lucidness that the customers thought I was having a stroke with slurred speech etc. They were about to call an ambulance when I had to admit I was smashed with alcohol. That was definitely a time machine moment that I wished I could go back to that evening and play it out differently.
So many warning signs. So many red lines crossed at such early life junctures. How I wish I stopped in my 20s but I was a very different person to who I am now and I could never have been reasoned with. Losing jobs in work environments because of alcohol, police cells, ruined friendships, relationships, major social embarrassments at even funerals couldn’t stop me until a switch just suddenly flipped aged 41.
Ordered the ODAAT chain and look forward to receiving it. Although I do not have an alcohol issue, I do have many others and will be using it on my weight loss journey as that daily reminder.
Hey Stu, I also experienced a similar ‘alcoholic awakening’ in my early 20s after dropping out of Uni. I was working front of house in a gastropub while trying to figure out what to do next with my life. It all started innocently enough, just needed money and some kind of purpose. I resonate so strongly with your mate pulling you aside and saying “you are funny and smart when you are sober”. It’s strange that, especially at that age, we think that booze makes those qualities shine more - but the reality is it’s just your own drunk perception of yourself that changes. I am sure if there were recordings of me talking while drunk I would be rambling off on tangents, cutting people off and making uncomfortable jokes at the expense of others - not smart or funny at all. For me, I ended up getting a role as Cellar Man - which meant being in a room filled with beer and wine on my own, I think we can all guess how that turned out. My rabbit-in-the headlights moment that lead to my firing was someone walking in to investigate a crashing sound and finding me on my hands and knees in a lake of booze trying to mop it up with a dishcloth. I am glad I got away from the Service Industry - I think if I had stayed I wouldn’t be alive today. So glad your channel is getting solid recognition, I for one, am here for the long haul and am excited to see what cool and grotesque stuff you share next!
I lost 2 jobs, countless relationships the usual. But when I drunkenly fell in to the tracks in front of a train coming to the station and spent 3 weeks in a hospital miraculously not bloody dead. Is the moment I should've stopped. But didn't. Stayed clean for a good bit, then slowly eased my way back to my problem drinking.
@_BatCountry a really good question. Could it be that restaurant industry workers search for food and alcohol related content, and yours definitely is alcohol related.
No way I made it just in time for my morning routine. Absolutely impeccable timing. I love watching these videos as I get ready, a reminder to stay focused myself.
When I was about 22, three of my friends took me to a local coffee shop and said.....'we think you might have a drinking problem'. I told them that I was just going through some personal stuff and had just been overdoing a bit. I did cut down quite drastically over the next few months, but only to prove them wrong. It didn't take long before one of those friends pulled me aside again but I made up some more bullshit excuses and carried on regardless, two weeks later I pissed his couch. Still undeterred, I carried on and actually started to realize myself that I, in a drinking capacity, was different from everyone else. I should have addressed it then, I didn't. It's now 23 years later and 5 months sober for me to see the full extent of exactly how different I was. My stories aren't as crazy as yours but I've hurt so many people that I'll never be able to apologize to them all. I will try, over time, to make amends with as many of them as possible but I should have addressed my problem so much sooner. Your channel is of great comfort to me, thank you for your honesty ❤
Congrats on your sober time mate. 5 months is MASSIVE progress, you should be proud, and long may it continue. I don't know you, but I've got quite good at getting a sense of where people are at from their comments, and you sound like you've got your head screwed on. I hope sobriety sticks for you long term, it sounds like it will.
You're quite the raconteur, I wish I could recount my seasons tales so well, I was up the road running a chalet in tignes probably the same time? 2004ish. Freezing temperatures plus loads of booze it's a miracle weade it. Thanks for reminding me of the atmosphere.
Good, timely video. I came across your videos hungover on Sunday and have watched most of them after recently questioning my own drinking at 32 YOA. My first ever time drinking alcohol resulted in me vomiting after one drink at around the age of 16 and at 18 I recall having three Strongbow cans and I was shaking on the floor for the evening and morning at a friend's birthday after that. Each year of my life up to now has had numerous warning signs about the amount I drink which is often one to two days of 1-4 beers and then one of the Friday/Saturday out until club or bar close, not always, but most weekends probably from the age of 18. Sat down the other day after your videos to calculate how many truly 'embarrassing' nights I believe I've had in my entire life, sessions where I think I've done something outrageous or put myself in danger and it has slightly unnerved me to say the least. On delirium tremens from your other videos, I think if that was more widely known it'd be much better than knowing the science of alcohol in reducing consumption. Old epistemologies knew that alcohol was a problem hence why it is prohibited or forbidden to be drunk in most religions. It reminds me of an extreme awake version of the night terrors I've had on and off since I was a child. The woman you describe is what I felt like I saw when I nearly broke some furniture in my student apartment... after... Fresher's week in my first year at uni ages ago. She was lying directly above facing me on the bed, causing my chest to start to seize when I woke up and couldn't move for about what felt like a minute. However I am not certain I did see her or whatever it is. Either way, bizarre how it's always exactly the same figures even in delirium. Research into appearances of the figures across cultures would be worth looking at.
Hi Bat country. Im really struggling. Really am. Im sober today as i write this. But i keep relasping and its awful! Ive been in and around the rooms of AA for a while now. Id get a few days, relapse, few days, relapse etc. Then a few weeks and relpase etc. Then i managed to get 33 days in a row, about a month ago. Its the longest ive been sober for like 10 years! But since then its gone back to a few days soberity, drink, few days then drink. But its huge binges everytime. Im ex navy. I drank like you did as a young man, whilst i was 17 - 20, (im 33 now) whilst serving, and i started getting consequences. By 21 id settled down, 22 married, 25 had a son and barely drank, but in hindsight i was a dry drunk, by 27 i was divorced and all ive done is restart my drinking levels at 20, but steadily drinking more and more, and doing more and more morally questionable things. Fast forward from 27 to 33. Ive been banned for drink driving, ive had to move jobs because of my drinking. Im hurting the people all around me. It bloody awful. The fun has gone out of drinking. Why do i keep relapsing? I dunno. Why do i drink when i know that a beautiful life is soberity is available, because ive bloody seen it! Ive expirenced it! Your videos get me through these relaspes of late. Just knowing im not alone, knowing i can get through this. Honestly, if it wasnt for my son, i dont know what id do. I dont want to be here because of the guilt and shame of what ive done. The manipulation, the lies, the horrible things ive done. The guilt is killing me. Im day 2 sober today, so things are still pretty tough and rough. But the only thing from stopping me do something silly is the love for my son (then i get guilty that if i love him i wouldnt do what i do in drink). Im at work atm, and i work alone, these videos of yours are getting me through yesterday and today. Would be great to see a video about how you deal, with the guilt, shame, self hatred, self loathing and everything else that comes with getting sober after risking everything again. Take care.
I'm gonna film it now mate. Give me a few hours to get it live. Don't drink before you watch it. Stay sober today mate, watch the video tonight, and take it from there. (I won't name you in it or anything like that, don't worry.)
I guess when you"re young it's hard to tell the difference between being an alcoholic and just loving to party. However, there are signs and experiences that give it away, but, before the real "bills" start coming due, it's hard to shake off the mind set of having a good time. I think there is always a part of a person that realizes something is wrong. In fact, a lot of people are drinking to fill the void on their life that is caused by not being right with the Lord.
Thank you for your stories. Quite a life you had. I thoroughly enjoyed my own madcap life. And drank beer or lager throughout and cider when younger. Illness often as in hangovers.up till last Christmas when i could only drink four beers over the holidays. You see i had awful pain turned out i had bone cancer. And now am on such heavy painkillers if i drink i end up in hospital. So i never regret my drinking. You only live once.😁🥂
Reminds of Turkle in one flew over the cuckoos nest ! The brutality of opening your eyes and having no idea what you've done but you know it's worse than you feel . Took balls to go and see the manager I think I'd have just tried my best to sneak off .
I enjoy your storytelling and your voice is nice. Can't really say that i've experienced anything like what you've been through. It's pretty much just dead out here.
Watching my 14 older siblings drink wayyyy too much, years before me. That was always a clear sign to me my entire childhood. I finally discovered the elixer at 24 years old.
I was 19, and in college. We lived in the US so my boyfriend and I were going to see fireworks on the Fourth of July. He was the supreme grandmaster of enablers. We emptied out bottles of Diet Coke halfway and filled the rest with vodka and took them with us. I drank them all. I don’t remember a single firework, I do remember him carrying me to the car, and puking my guts out for what seemed like hours when we got home. I can’t imagine how my parents didn’t hear it or know, I don’t remember, nor do I remember the next day. I remember going out to my car the day after that and finding all the empty bottles, and having this pang of shock and realization that that might not be normal behavior and instantly I remember my brain coming up with 10 reasons why it was OK and telling me that everyone did it. Red flag, anyone?
Master story telling. Laughed out loud at this. But it’s also chilling at the same time. Thanks for sharing, Stu. These videos remain the highlight of recovery work. Nothing else is close. 10k subs is round the corner ❤
I was hiding my drinking and my wife found out. I immediately stopped drinking for 3 years in my mid twenties in order to keep her. I never even considered stopping even though i was hiding it i must have known it was a problem, even though i never blacked out or missed work etc. Without her finding out i probably would have escalated my drinking until it was too late. Those 3 years i was able to confront my relationship with alcohol and change my mind before it was too late.
I remember when I was about 16, living the rock and roll lifestyle. In a band. Got a bottle of absinth and drank the whole thing. Can't remember anything obviously. Couldn't use my legs in the morning, my bedroom was covered in vomit, crawled to the bathroom which was also covered in vomit. Somehow I managed to clean up before my mam and dad got up, amazed they didn't notice or say anything. They would have had they known. In hindsight it was disgraceful
Just found your channel . Mate I'm a chef of over 15 years. So quess you know your audience. Phenomenal insight. Had one or two of these since I stopped as well. Thought I was young and funny but I really was mostly sad. I thought everyone liked me and my jokes when I was drunk. But they just put up with me because I was their friend.
I realized I was fucked when I got my first bar job (age 22). I stole alcohol and drank on the job. I realized I could tolerate a lot of alcohol and remain functional. I did that job for a year and a half and never got caught. I stole money as well. It was remarkably easy. Someone orders 4 beers. Charge them for 4 beers but only key 3 beers in the register. Give them their correct change and keep the difference. But rather than put coins in my pocket, I waited until I'd accumulated enough money to take a 20 pound note. I must say, keeping up with how much money I'd stolen, while drunk, was a challenge. How that employer never realized there was a habitual thief among the staff remains a mystery to this day. Looking back on that time is like looking at a different person.
Great stories! I spent a few vacations in Megeve One in particular where I broke my big toe drunk and kicking blocks of ice down the street. Unfortunately one of the blocks was a snow covered rock
What up, Stu. I saw you on your latest podcast. I love that your channel is headed toward 10k subs. I am about to hit 500. Remember, you were number 200. I am grateful for that. Hell, my old man watches your channel now. He doesn't understand alcoholics. He's been watching sober channels including L.D.s. I don't know why I didn't stop earlier. It surely would have stopped dead in it's tracks the harrowing wreckage of ruined relationships, people walking away from me and family estrangement. It's weird that my drinking ramped up after college. Not before or during. Hats off for another great video!
what a story! I can totally relate - I was a Chef for most of my working career until I got out of hospo in my early 40's. I have many stories like this. But that was the past, over 1 year sober now and will never forget.
Ex-bartender here. Can fully agree on not knowing how anyone survives the service industry. Also, if you are reading this and are in the service industry and someone else who is also in the service industry tells you that YOU are drinking too much, then you absolutely are drinking too much hahaha. If people who's idea of shaking hands is having shots are concerned, you should be too.❤
Hey Stu. Great post. Love your channel. So refreshing. I always relate to your posts. Thank you so much for all your hard work Bat - you are really making a difference. As a recovering addict myself at the age of 46 I often share your content with my 80 year old dad who for years tried to understand the catastrophic path I took. Your content does not only help me, but has helped my dad to understand some things that I myself could not articulate to him directly. Thank you. Love your ODAAT chain - just bought one. Happy dayz 😊
My moment for me was when I was doing a Wildlife & Countryside Mamaent degree in Hampshire. There were many days I’d have no transport and one lecture at the end of the day requiring me to be there from the early hours of the morning due to one coach leaving from my village in the morning. I used to spend my time drinking an unhealthy amount of beer at a fishing lake whilst waiting for the lectures, a lot of the time just passing out missing the lectures in general. I passed all the tests yet my attendance was so shit I wasn’t allowed to carry on in the course ironically becoming a chef and busking for income
I never touch alcohol before 17 My friends from high school getting drunk almost every day I suffer from anxiety all my damn life and shyness Those first beers wiped that out and I was new person with bottle in my hands 😢
About 25 years ago my brother and I had been out drinking and we walked past a crowd piling out of a gig by a band called The Damned. Some guy invited us on the tour bus which we agreed to. All I remember was being given a drink and listening to some band banter. Then I remember puking in the bus toilet. Then I recall clambering up the stairs to my flat. The mother of all back outs and hangovers. It should have been an amazing experience. We must have been on there for 3 hours. Maybe it was fun. Maybe something awful happened. I’ll never know. Looking back I should have known that this complete lack of responsibility and extreme risk taking was a bad pathway. Simply no off button. I did not learn until 2 years ago.
Great podcasts, looking back to my late teens I can see that nearly every time I drank which was very often , I got drunk, I didn’t appear in family photos because I was crashed out on bed somewhere drunk and asleep.
I brought a bottle of Chartreuse along with cases of beer to a party at a mountain cabin in Montana at 28 years old. Everyone else there was mid thirties with wives and even a couple young kids sleeping in the loft. I pushed the bottle on Everyone, and polished it off. I crawled down to the cool river bottom to lay on rocks and splash water on my face. The next morning found out I was yelling "help me", and when my buddy's gal would get near me I'd yelling "get away from me!". I locked myself in my truck to safely pass out. I ruined the party, and destroyed my future painting apprenticeship because my boss and the builder saw everything lol. I'm currently drinking but I feel cooked after 20 plus years... and I'm hallucinating when I cut back. You have the coolest channel it gives me hope.
I related to this one a lot. I as well got fired from a job at 21 years old. My first real job. All because of alcohol and maybe some drugs too. And immaturity. That also was a time when I should've realized that this will only get worse. It did get a lot worse.
I really like how You present Your journey to recovery.I like You drank heavily from 15 to 28.I worked with alot of alcoholics.I am not alcoholic.One day I realized I was craving alcohol I absolutly froze.My mind was a mess I knew I had to stop I was able to at the time.I did drink less than 20 beers a year for many years rarely over 1 per sitting.I am65 now take medication that is not compatible with alcohol.I am coming up on 1 year no alcohol.So its for my health now Do I miss it not really a nice dinner out with one beer was fine.I have water and I am fine.So my journey is different Yes I had hang overs and blackouts and wasted money and time.I had a wake up call and the fear 2as real.
23 years in the restaurant industry, there are so many of those moments i’ve lost count. I own a restaurant now, which I wouldn’t have to do if I had stopped when I should have😆 I used to think, atleast I lived life to the fullest, but yeah, not so much
Great video and great stories. I've worked in the service industry before. As a bartender and as a cook. Its a wild place. Also, as I've stated, I've been a mechanic for quite some time. Shopes, especially 30 years ago, were a wild place too. The one moment for me would be when my future ex wife was expecting our first baby and she had just bought, amongst other things, a brand new baby bath, i got so drunk that i puked andni grabbed the baby bath and puked in it so much that i ruined it. We were pretty broke back then and she had saved up her money for weeks just to buy this stuff. She just looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes, shook her head, said "pathetic" and just walked away. Anyways. Great Great stuff man. Keep em coming.
How can you stop drinking when you do not understand that you have a problem ? 3.5 years sober now after 5 rehab program from 2007 to 2021. All that to find the source of my drinking problem. Now I always watch my self on wrong thoughts. I.e. : my wife and I just concluded on a land that we bought for our retirement house. Away from the big city, the perfect spot with a very low price! Some will say "Let's celebrate this!" Of course but no alcohol needed to celebrate. That's what we did, a nice diner home made filet mignon , Pink Floyd on the Hi-Fi full blast everything we REALLY like. Finding a reason to have a drink is part of dependency: "Ice Hockey match tonight! Montréal Canadian's vs Boston Bruins" or " It's friday, weekend time!" Stay clean! Have fun! 😉
I'd just like to say I love your channel a lot, man. It has been a real pleasure hearing your stories and support for the ones who made the choice to stop. I just passed the two week mark of no alcohol and honestly... I'm starting to feel really damn good in life. I don't ever want to go back.
I felt so sick last night 30 + hours after my last drink. I still am recovering right now two days later. I have ruined countless holidays with alcoholism and missed work because of it. New Years Eve 1997 is when i should have realized I was in for a rough ride. I blacked out at a pub on a cold winter night and my Dad had to come find me. I had just turned 18 which is still considered underage in Canada but I was already well on my way into obivion.
I have a similar story. When I was 16 I worked as a waitress/maid/cleaner/etc in the Lake District. I absolutely loved the freedom of getting out of my parents abhorrent parenting for the summer season (I never went back, but that's another story) Like you, I did my job for the hours I had to then fucked off to the other pubs to make friends and sleep with with them, It was wild, it was great. Except for one day, when I'd stolen booze from our bar and went to drink alone as everyone else still had work. I'd missed the train to where I was staying and I knew I had and I also knew I couldn't go back to work in this state so I thought me and my lethal concoction of spirits I'd made would sleep on the station. Nope, the guards had to phone my employer to come and get me. I had to go back home, to my awful life.
Why didn't I stop? Well I can assure you I tried, numerous times. After countless false dawns, DT rollercoaster rides, hospital stays, police cell morning afters, and rough sleeper homelessness, having drank everything and everyone away. Well, I finally had enough, drank myself out, call it what you will. The desire to revisit oblivion has been consigned to history and a previous life.
Great stories Stu - thanks. It’s interesting how many Chefs and musicians/ artistes have been affected by alcohol or addiction. I worked in mental health for 22 years ironically whilst maintaining most of the time functionally apart from Last 3-4 years as it cost me my job. Mind you I have also played guitar and sang for most of my life too. Keep up the wonderful stories. 🙏👍 “ Silvo”
Nobody can accuse me of not giving it my best effort...from the standpoint of DRINKING! 😉 I was a daily drinker by the ripe old age of seventeen, and I didn't let up until I was 27. My health was a wreck, and I was having difficulty holding a job...despite being a "schooled" bartender. But wait, it gets worse... Between 27 and 37, I was charged with "OUI" (operating under the influence) and did two 28 day rehab stays. Finally, at almost 38, I had a moment of unadulterated surrender, and reluctantly began living in the solution, instead of the problem. Why didn't I stop at 27? Simple, I hadn't sabotaged my life sufficiently to become "Entirely Ready". That, my friends, is the norm for most chronic drinkers...we just weren't ready. I'm not even pissed that I threw away another decade of my life, because that's what it took for me to embrace the greatest adventure of my life...SOBRIETY! I'm now 68, and I've never been happier! ✌❤ Mark
I started drinking heavily at nineteen. Before that I could take it or leave it. But I ended up in young offenders three times and had my nineteenth birthday on my last sentence. After I got out, I could tell I was a bit broken, but I couldn't properly see it until I was a lot older. I started to drink and fall asleep on pub tables. Not all the time, but I knew then that I was drinking to oblivion. I would've loved to travel back in time to see young me , nodding off in my local pub and just slapped the bottle out of my hand. But almost 26 years later I'm getting an inpatient detox and hopefully an inpatient rehab after. I've got the rest of my life to live. And I want to enjoy it.
This is because alcohol can be a trigger for breathing concerns, leading to an increased sensitivity in the airways, inflammation and even bronchoconstriction.
When I was on vacation in Budapest for a week with a bunch of friends from my student society, we'd been drinken heavy every day. One day a friend and I were stumbling to our hostel from a club, when a guy asked if we had a light. I hand him my lighter, he lights his joint and asks if I want a drag... my dumb drunk ass doesn't ask what's in it, assuming it's just weed, and takes a drag. Within seconds I'm halucinating like I've never before (and I'd done plenty of shrooms and acid), after an inderteminable amount of time that felt both like a moment and an eternity I come to in an ambulance, proceed to projectile vomit all over the ambulance and pass out again. Wake up again while getting an IV, pass out again, and wake up in a hospital bed with the mother of all hangovers. It lasted several days and I've never felt so sick and universally miserable ever. And although it wasn't the acohol itself, I'd never have done somethign as stupid as taking drugs from a stranger without even asking what it was while already completely smashed. That's really when I should have stopped. I knew I had a problem then, but didn't want to face it yet. In case anyone wonders, we don't know what it was. Budapest had a big crazy designer drug scene at the time, so it was some weird shit someone cooked up in their basement probably...
@@_BatCountry Thanks :) I'm very glad too. It's funny looking back on that story now, about 8 years later, and realizing that being a thing that actually happened. My life now is so much better and stable, but I consciencely remember that yes, that idiot was me, and IS. If I give in to the urge when I'm feeling down that will be me again. I'm at that point where the biggest catch is that thought that I could handle a few drinks. There's a duality in my mind where I feel a certainty that I could, and I have to keep reminding myself that alcohol can't make my life better in any way, so no matter how convinced I am that it wouldn't ruin my life this time, there is just no reason to ever drink, because even if I am correct and it wouldn't ruin my life, I can say with 100% certainty it won't make it better. And yeah, nightlife in Budapest is quite something. It's funny, I'm Dutch... Amsterdam has a reputation, but it's got nothing on Budapest.
It’s hard to pick a crashing moment when I said.. ffs this is enough! 2 times stand out..1, woke up after another blackout looking in the mirror with a scrapped face and cracked front tooth.. that made me cry! 2, Another blackout night and woke looked in the mirror with a black eye(boyfriend!) still didn’t quite hit bottom but yes would have saved myself another 20yrs of shit! 10 weeks sober 😊
Pretty wild story man! I was around the same age (around 23) when I realized I had a problem and should probably stop drinking. It was the first time I went through severe withdrawal/alcoholic hallucinosis. The hallucinations I had were so frightening, that to this day, I still have nightmares about that whole experience! The scariest hallucination was a visual one I had while taking a shower, well, trying to at least. The moment I turned on the water, I saw a stream of black ants coming out of the shower head where the water comes out. At that point, I could no longer deny that something was terribly wrong and I finally went to the hospital where I spent a few days recovering. You would think an ordeal like that would get me to stop, but within a week of my discharge from the hospital I went right back to binge drinking, and continued on for many years. I really wish I would have stopped then because it would have saved me a world of troubles!
Hello mate, thanks for watching! That is a very vivid hallucination, it must have been terrifying. And I know what you mean: why don't we stop after that? We do we go back to it so many times? I don't think I'll ever understand it. What matters is that you're doing better today.
That one moment - from many - must have been when scraped from the gutter by four people, put into their car where I lined them with the remains of the night's litre of rum and waking up with the calling card of what appeared to be a cult / church / heaven know's what in my pocket. It is perhaps for the best the recollections are just those. That was in 1992.
How to end the cycle of "realize 99% of my problems are direct consequences of alcohol -> quit -> feel good -> forget why I quit all the time -> have a drink -> feel very good -> have more -> feel like shit -> have more -> feel like utter shit -> have more -> do some stupid -> realize 99%... -> quit -> repeat"? People keep saying "it does not matter how many times one fall but how many times he gets up". But I wonder if there is a treshold. Its getting tiresome.
Just found this channel, nice break from all the shouting attention seeking channels. Very chill.
STAY SOBER WITH THESE THREE EASY STEPS (THE LAST ONE WILL SURPRISE YOU)
I hate all that shit too mate.
Just realized how many loudmouth channels are on RUclips! Only a few calm guys like this.
My worst professional moment was falling asleep face down at the dinner table with a huge entertainment personality I was supposed to be interviewing. In hindsight the winery tour before dinner was not the best decision. That was the end of that particular gig.
I wish I could go back and tell my ten year old self, sipping secretly out of my dad's beer, to put that shit down forever or face a life of pain and struggle.
Wanted to add that I got your book yesterday and I've been lost in it for hours. You're a great storyteller and...quite a character. Thank you for sharing that gift.
all life paths are full of pain and struggle
Agreed! The book is captivating!
I knew at 18 that it wasn’t for me. Terrible hangovers, mental anguish and that was if the night before went well. If I got in a scrape the night before it was a lot worse. But I persevered for 30 years which led to days long binges before finally finding sobriety. Just had a little relapse there and I’m so disappointed but also grateful that nothing that bad happened. I’m going to my first AA meeting on Monday. Best wishes everyone.
You will be so welcomed back, you’ll be in such a safe space. Take cookies!❤
@@RebeccaStowell-o5d Safe space & cookies . . please o5d
Well done sounds like me off it now 48 I always was no good for me
@@RebeccaStowell-o5d Tell us more about safe spaces
I am a recovering drug addict. Today is my first day sober after a relapse. The true test is tonight when the thoughts come. I think i can do it though.
Friday drinker here! Usually leads to me getting into other substances and generally feeling like trash until Monday, 13 days sober from everything, taking a 6 week break to see what the difference feels like. Quite enjoying it so far!
Great video as usual
Day 1 here again. I need to figure this out. One week binge...
The first time I ever really drank. I looked up to my cousin. Literally. He is about 6'5". I was learning to become a man. I lifted weights and emulated him. He had me and his neighbor over one night to play quarters. I think I was about 17 ish. There was a little plastic cup. Probably about 10 oz. On a linoleum table in the kitchen. In my cousin's college house that he rented. My cousin was renting houses while in college. I'm still trying to get that far. Did I mentioned this story happened in the early 80s? Yeah.
So, I hero worshipped him. We sat around the table playing quarters with increasingly restrictive rules necessitating chugging the little glass with a dirty quarter at the bottom of it. I'm lucky it didn't come loose and break one of my teeth. But it stuck. That was probably the only thing that went right. I threw up once and we kept playing. We took a break to lift some weights. I was going to do a tricep press. Forgetting that my cousin was about twice my size and strength. So, the bar came down on my forehead. I don't think it was too bad. Maybe I got a lump. Finally, I think we just ran out of beer, or it was getting too late or something. My cousin liked to set an alarm and get up early. So, I pretended I liked that too. He asked who wanted the waterbed. I called it. Thinking that would be cool. Not realizing that they aren't good to sleep on without a heater. Because we lived in a cold state. Water has a high specific temperature. Without getting too science-y, this was a hell of a night.
My cousin awakened me the next morning. He drove me home. As I was getting out of the car, I think I said something like fuck you for doing this to me. You knew how terrible this was. He was taken aback. It wasn't the last time I ever blamed someone for me drinking. I often fantasize about going back in time. I return to this one a lot, but it's not where I would cut the splice for the butterfly effect. I would go back all the way to the first time I smoked a cigarette at eight years old. I would explain to my younger self that these things won't make me cool. Acceptance isn't worth my health. I don't have to be drunk to have sex. If that didn't work, I would continue each time to try explaining the same thing. Show myself the road I'm walking. I would go back each time before I drank and try to talk myself out of it. Just like Red in The Shawshank Redemption.
The great thing about being young is you can actually do that. You haven't made all the mistakes yet. Go back in time now and talk yourself out of wasting money on destroying your health. Use your time and money to achieve things instead. Miracles can happen when you don't sabotage yourself beforehand.
Also, old people don't hate you. At least I can say I don't. We've left a lot of problems behind for you to solve. I'm sorry for that. Now I'm asking for your best, even though I don't deserve it. Your best creativity and sober-minded power. I have confidence in your intelligence. I am constantly impressed by the fact that you never quit no matter what. I'll be cheering for you until I'm gone. No one will remember me. But you can be remembered for great things. It's there for the taking. All you have to do is not drink. The rewards are vast. All the gold and friendship is there. Your creative projects are there waiting to be born. Begging you to give them life, not take it away. Give them life. You won't regret it.
Another sober attempt, 2days and starting to feel better. Finished around 13:10 on Wednesday as i needed to drink to lesson the panic attacks. Your stories i wild and exiting. My alcoholism has been more depressive isolated experience. Sad when it goes on so long and a person approaches their 50’s there seems little hope. Feeling better today thats the main thing.
There is always Hope. If you feel better already at day 2, then you are off to a great start !
Hang in there, you might not be able to see it just now, but it is possible ❤
You can do it brother.
Very interesting you posted this video. The past couple of weeks I have been thinking about my drinking history. And how there were warning signs early on. I remember being 16 and drinking at a house parties and I would always be the most drunk there and would drink in excess, and thinking “I love this, I feel great”. I remember ruining nights out by getting too drunk and my friends having to get taxis for me. Doing and saying stupid things on nights out and regretting it, still to this day. That’s one of the reasons I started drinking alone. Now I am 6 months sober, and educated about alcohol and fully accepted the fact I’m an alcoholic, I can look back at all these signs and behaviours and understand that it was destined all along.
Congratulations on your sober time, long may it continue. And yeah, I totally understand that thing about being the most drunk in your friend group at 16. That was me too.
I love the embarrassing stories, it makes it real!
Called Schadenfreude
the old timey music in the background is trippy. it makes you think you aer imagining it
Like the Shining
15 thousand young Brits ran into machine gun fire in one morning on the Somme & those that survived outside that rough number many disfigured face
I am not an alcoholic thankfully as for me the prolonged negative impact it has on my sleep usually outweighs any social benefit I might be getting from ever having more than one unit. However, I want all of you guys gals and in betweens to succeed in your sobriety. 💪
Hey, had a good 5-6 months sober after being in an institution - struggling now. Love to hear you speak, please keep going.
I worked in a bar and got so intoxicated on shift one night but kept some form of lucidness that the customers thought I was having a stroke with slurred speech etc. They were about to call an ambulance when I had to admit I was smashed with alcohol. That was definitely a time machine moment that I wished I could go back to that evening and play it out differently.
So many warning signs. So many red lines crossed at such early life junctures. How I wish I stopped in my 20s but I was a very different person to who I am now and I could never have been reasoned with. Losing jobs in work environments because of alcohol, police cells, ruined friendships, relationships, major social embarrassments at even funerals couldn’t stop me until a switch just suddenly flipped aged 41.
Ordered the ODAAT chain and look forward to receiving it. Although I do not have an alcohol issue, I do have many others and will be using it on my weight loss journey as that daily reminder.
Fantastic, I hope it serves you as it has served me, and keep me posted on your journey. Thank you mate!
Hey Stu,
I also experienced a similar ‘alcoholic awakening’ in my early 20s after dropping out of Uni. I was working front of house in a gastropub while trying to figure out what to do next with my life. It all started innocently enough, just needed money and some kind of purpose.
I resonate so strongly with your mate pulling you aside and saying “you are funny and smart when you are sober”. It’s strange that, especially at that age, we think that booze makes those qualities shine more - but the reality is it’s just your own drunk perception of yourself that changes. I am sure if there were recordings of me talking while drunk I would be rambling off on tangents, cutting people off and making uncomfortable jokes at the expense of others - not smart or funny at all.
For me, I ended up getting a role as Cellar Man - which meant being in a room filled with beer and wine on my own, I think we can all guess how that turned out. My rabbit-in-the headlights moment that lead to my firing was someone walking in to investigate a crashing sound and finding me on my hands and knees in a lake of booze trying to mop it up with a dishcloth.
I am glad I got away from the Service Industry - I think if I had stayed I wouldn’t be alive today. So glad your channel is getting solid recognition, I for one, am here for the long haul and am excited to see what cool and grotesque stuff you share next!
I lost 2 jobs, countless relationships the usual. But when I drunkenly fell in to the tracks in front of a train coming to the station and spent 3 weeks in a hospital miraculously not bloody dead. Is the moment I should've stopped. But didn't. Stayed clean for a good bit, then slowly eased my way back to my problem drinking.
Hello mate! Thanks for sharing your should-have-stopped moment, and for revealing that you're a chef too. Why do you think it's so common?
@_BatCountry a really good question. Could it be that restaurant industry workers search for food and alcohol related content, and yours definitely is alcohol related.
No way I made it just in time for my morning routine. Absolutely impeccable timing. I love watching these videos as I get ready, a reminder to stay focused myself.
Perfect timing!
Agree, always listen to Bat Country videos during my morning shower 😂
Come December 2024, I will have 25 years, clean and sober. I was much like this storyteller.
Congratulations on your sobriety, long may it continue.
When I was about 22, three of my friends took me to a local coffee shop and said.....'we think you might have a drinking problem'. I told them that I was just going through some personal stuff and had just been overdoing a bit. I did cut down quite drastically over the next few months, but only to prove them wrong. It didn't take long before one of those friends pulled me aside again but I made up some more bullshit excuses and carried on regardless, two weeks later I pissed his couch. Still undeterred, I carried on and actually started to realize myself that I, in a drinking capacity, was different from everyone else. I should have addressed it then, I didn't. It's now 23 years later and 5 months sober for me to see the full extent of exactly how different I was. My stories aren't as crazy as yours but I've hurt so many people that I'll never be able to apologize to them all. I will try, over time, to make amends with as many of them as possible but I should have addressed my problem so much sooner. Your channel is of great comfort to me, thank you for your honesty ❤
Congrats on your sober time mate. 5 months is MASSIVE progress, you should be proud, and long may it continue. I don't know you, but I've got quite good at getting a sense of where people are at from their comments, and you sound like you've got your head screwed on. I hope sobriety sticks for you long term, it sounds like it will.
Thanks Stu, that means a lot ❤
You're quite the raconteur, I wish I could recount my seasons tales so well, I was up the road running a chalet in tignes probably the same time? 2004ish. Freezing temperatures plus loads of booze it's a miracle weade it. Thanks for reminding me of the atmosphere.
Perfect timing for me, but rather than a morning routine it's a quarter past seven of a Friday night. Just in time for a pep talk, of sorts.
Good, timely video. I came across your videos hungover on Sunday and have watched most of them after recently questioning my own drinking at 32 YOA. My first ever time drinking alcohol resulted in me vomiting after one drink at around the age of 16 and at 18 I recall having three Strongbow cans and I was shaking on the floor for the evening and morning at a friend's birthday after that. Each year of my life up to now has had numerous warning signs about the amount I drink which is often one to two days of 1-4 beers and then one of the Friday/Saturday out until club or bar close, not always, but most weekends probably from the age of 18. Sat down the other day after your videos to calculate how many truly 'embarrassing' nights I believe I've had in my entire life, sessions where I think I've done something outrageous or put myself in danger and it has slightly unnerved me to say the least.
On delirium tremens from your other videos, I think if that was more widely known it'd be much better than knowing the science of alcohol in reducing consumption. Old epistemologies knew that alcohol was a problem hence why it is prohibited or forbidden to be drunk in most religions. It reminds me of an extreme awake version of the night terrors I've had on and off since I was a child. The woman you describe is what I felt like I saw when I nearly broke some furniture in my student apartment... after... Fresher's week in my first year at uni ages ago. She was lying directly above facing me on the bed, causing my chest to start to seize when I woke up and couldn't move for about what felt like a minute. However I am not certain I did see her or whatever it is. Either way, bizarre how it's always exactly the same figures even in delirium. Research into appearances of the figures across cultures would be worth looking at.
Hi Bat country. Im really struggling. Really am. Im sober today as i write this. But i keep relasping and its awful! Ive been in and around the rooms of AA for a while now. Id get a few days, relapse, few days, relapse etc. Then a few weeks and relpase etc. Then i managed to get 33 days in a row, about a month ago. Its the longest ive been sober for like 10 years! But since then its gone back to a few days soberity, drink, few days then drink. But its huge binges everytime. Im ex navy. I drank like you did as a young man, whilst i was 17 - 20, (im 33 now) whilst serving, and i started getting consequences. By 21 id settled down, 22 married, 25 had a son and barely drank, but in hindsight i was a dry drunk, by 27 i was divorced and all ive done is restart my drinking levels at 20, but steadily drinking more and more, and doing more and more morally questionable things. Fast forward from 27 to 33. Ive been banned for drink driving, ive had to move jobs because of my drinking. Im hurting the people all around me. It bloody awful. The fun has gone out of drinking. Why do i keep relapsing? I dunno. Why do i drink when i know that a beautiful life is soberity is available, because ive bloody seen it! Ive expirenced it! Your videos get me through these relaspes of late. Just knowing im not alone, knowing i can get through this. Honestly, if it wasnt for my son, i dont know what id do. I dont want to be here because of the guilt and shame of what ive done. The manipulation, the lies, the horrible things ive done. The guilt is killing me. Im day 2 sober today, so things are still pretty tough and rough. But the only thing from stopping me do something silly is the love for my son (then i get guilty that if i love him i wouldnt do what i do in drink). Im at work atm, and i work alone, these videos of yours are getting me through yesterday and today. Would be great to see a video about how you deal, with the guilt, shame, self hatred, self loathing and everything else that comes with getting sober after risking everything again. Take care.
I'm gonna film it now mate. Give me a few hours to get it live. Don't drink before you watch it. Stay sober today mate, watch the video tonight, and take it from there. (I won't name you in it or anything like that, don't worry.)
@_BatCountry thank you for your reply and doing the video. I've reached out to a few people and will be getting to a meeting tonight.
I guess when you"re young it's hard to tell the difference between being an alcoholic and just loving to party. However, there are signs and experiences that give it away, but, before the real "bills" start coming due, it's hard to shake off the mind set of having a good time. I think there is always a part of a person that realizes something is wrong. In fact, a lot of people are drinking to fill the void on their life that is caused by not being right with the Lord.
I've recommended so many great bars and restaurants I used to work in but also specifying not to mention me...
Thank you for your stories. Quite a life you had. I thoroughly enjoyed my own madcap life. And drank beer or lager throughout and cider when younger. Illness often as in hangovers.up till last Christmas when i could only drink four beers over the holidays. You see i had awful pain turned out i had bone cancer. And now am on such heavy painkillers if i drink i end up in hospital. So i never regret my drinking. You only live once.😁🥂
Reminds of Turkle in one flew over the cuckoos nest !
The brutality of opening your eyes and having no idea what you've done but you know it's worse than you feel .
Took balls to go and see the manager I think I'd have just tried my best to sneak off .
Wow man that is the kind of cinematic deep-cut that I always appreciate!
You're a very good storyteller. I could picture your resort in my mind's eye.
I enjoy your storytelling and your voice is nice. Can't really say that i've experienced anything like what you've been through. It's pretty much just dead out here.
Watching my 14 older siblings drink wayyyy too much, years before me. That was always a clear sign to me my entire childhood. I finally discovered the elixer at 24 years old.
I needed this tonight mate great storys thank you
Thanks for watching!
I was 19, and in college. We lived in the US so my boyfriend and I were going to see fireworks on the Fourth of July. He was the supreme grandmaster of enablers. We emptied out bottles of Diet Coke halfway and filled the rest with vodka and took them with us. I drank them all. I don’t remember a single firework, I do remember him carrying me to the car, and puking my guts out for what seemed like hours when we got home. I can’t imagine how my parents didn’t hear it or know, I don’t remember, nor do I remember the next day. I remember going out to my car the day after that and finding all the empty bottles, and having this pang of shock and realization that that might not be normal behavior and instantly I remember my brain coming up with 10 reasons why it was OK and telling me that everyone did it. Red flag, anyone?
What happened to your ex? Enablers are often enabling as a means to justify their own addictions.
Anyway, I'm glad you got it turned around.
Master story telling. Laughed out loud at this. But it’s also chilling at the same time. Thanks for sharing, Stu. These videos remain the highlight of recovery work. Nothing else is close. 10k subs is round the corner ❤
I was hiding my drinking and my wife found out. I immediately stopped drinking for 3 years in my mid twenties in order to keep her. I never even considered stopping even though i was hiding it i must have known it was a problem, even though i never blacked out or missed work etc. Without her finding out i probably would have escalated my drinking until it was too late. Those 3 years i was able to confront my relationship with alcohol and change my mind before it was too late.
I really appreciate your channel. Thank you for making these videos .
Thanks for watching, happy to have you on board.
@@_BatCountry thank you! Happy to be here and apart of this community!
I remember when I was about 16, living the rock and roll lifestyle. In a band. Got a bottle of absinth and drank the whole thing. Can't remember anything obviously. Couldn't use my legs in the morning, my bedroom was covered in vomit, crawled to the bathroom which was also covered in vomit. Somehow I managed to clean up before my mam and dad got up, amazed they didn't notice or say anything. They would have had they known. In hindsight it was disgraceful
'I'm on the whiskey diet.....I lost 3 days'
13:35, i think you earned the title 'Super spreader' that day 😂
Hahahha yeah welcome to the salmonella party :D
Nice story teller. Much respect.
Thank you!
Just found your channel . Mate I'm a chef of over 15 years. So quess you know your audience. Phenomenal insight. Had one or two of these since I stopped as well. Thought I was young and funny but I really was mostly sad. I thought everyone liked me and my jokes when I was drunk. But they just put up with me because I was their friend.
I realized I was fucked when I got my first bar job (age 22). I stole alcohol and drank on the job. I realized I could tolerate a lot of alcohol and remain functional. I did that job for a year and a half and never got caught. I stole money as well. It was remarkably easy. Someone orders 4 beers. Charge them for 4 beers but only key 3 beers in the register. Give them their correct change and keep the difference. But rather than put coins in my pocket, I waited until I'd accumulated enough money to take a 20 pound note. I must say, keeping up with how much money I'd stolen, while drunk, was a challenge. How that employer never realized there was a habitual thief among the staff remains a mystery to this day. Looking back on that time is like looking at a different person.
The problem is that you were getting away with it, I suppose. Success can be a curse.
I love your podcasts ❤
They love you too. Thanks for the comment!
Perfect timing! I needed this ..can't wait to watch ❤ i love your channel xxx
Thanks so much!
Great stories! I spent a few vacations in Megeve One in particular where I broke my big toe drunk and kicking blocks of ice down the street. Unfortunately one of the blocks was a snow covered rock
So many people at ski resorts don't get injured on the slopes, they get injured falling over after the pub.
@@_BatCountry 🤣😂
What up, Stu. I saw you on your latest podcast. I love that your channel is headed toward 10k subs. I am about to hit 500. Remember, you were number 200. I am grateful for that. Hell, my old man watches your channel now. He doesn't understand alcoholics. He's been watching sober channels including L.D.s. I don't know why I didn't stop earlier. It surely would have stopped dead in it's tracks the harrowing wreckage of ruined relationships, people walking away from me and family estrangement. It's weird that my drinking ramped up after college. Not before or during. Hats off for another great video!
what a story! I can totally relate - I was a Chef for most of my working career until I got out of hospo in my early 40's. I have many stories like this. But that was the past, over 1 year sober now and will never forget.
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing.
Ex-bartender here. Can fully agree on not knowing how anyone survives the service industry. Also, if you are reading this and are in the service industry and someone else who is also in the service industry tells you that YOU are drinking too much, then you absolutely are drinking too much hahaha.
If people who's idea of shaking hands is having shots are concerned, you should be too.❤
Glad you got my back on this stuff mate, and thanks for watching!
Great presentation Stuart, well done.
Hey Stu. Great post. Love your channel. So refreshing. I always relate to your posts. Thank you so much for all your hard work Bat - you are really making a difference. As a recovering addict myself at the age of 46 I often share your content with my 80 year old dad who for years tried to understand the catastrophic path I took. Your content does not only help me, but has helped my dad to understand some things that I myself could not articulate to him directly. Thank you. Love your ODAAT chain - just bought one. Happy dayz 😊
My moment for me was when I was doing a Wildlife & Countryside Mamaent degree in Hampshire. There were many days I’d have no transport and one lecture at the end of the day requiring me to be there from the early hours of the morning due to one coach leaving from my village in the morning. I used to spend my time drinking an unhealthy amount of beer at a fishing lake whilst waiting for the lectures, a lot of the time just passing out missing the lectures in general. I passed all the tests yet my attendance was so shit I wasn’t allowed to carry on in the course ironically becoming a chef and busking for income
That must have been Sparsholt, right? Small world.
I worked in Meribel for 3 years man !! A fantastic discription
I never touch alcohol before 17
My friends from high school getting drunk almost every day
I suffer from anxiety all my damn life and shyness
Those first beers wiped that out and I was new person with bottle in my hands 😢
About 25 years ago my brother and I had been out drinking and we walked past a crowd piling out of a gig by a band called The Damned. Some guy invited us on the tour bus which we agreed to. All I remember was being given a drink and listening to some band banter. Then I remember puking in the bus toilet. Then I recall clambering up the stairs to my flat. The mother of all back outs and hangovers. It should have been an amazing experience. We must have been on there for 3 hours. Maybe it was fun. Maybe something awful happened. I’ll never know. Looking back I should have known that this complete lack of responsibility and extreme risk taking was a bad pathway. Simply no off button. I did not learn until 2 years ago.
Great podcasts, looking back to my late teens I can see that nearly every time I drank which was very often , I got drunk, I didn’t appear in family photos because I was crashed out on bed somewhere drunk and asleep.
Hey Stu! Keep up the great work you have the best channel on RUclips!
Yes!
You have such a talent for e gaging storytelling. I love it. Thank you for your raw honesty. ❤
Fast becoming my favourite channel. Thank you mate!
I brought a bottle of Chartreuse along with cases of beer to a party at a mountain cabin in Montana at 28 years old. Everyone else there was mid thirties with wives and even a couple young kids sleeping in the loft. I pushed the bottle on Everyone, and polished it off. I crawled down to the cool river bottom to lay on rocks and splash water on my face. The next morning found out I was yelling "help me", and when my buddy's gal would get near me I'd yelling "get away from me!". I locked myself in my truck to safely pass out. I ruined the party, and destroyed my future painting apprenticeship because my boss and the builder saw everything lol. I'm currently drinking but I feel cooked after 20 plus years... and I'm hallucinating when I cut back. You have the coolest channel it gives me hope.
How does an alcoholic learn to spell?
With an Addictionary!
Badum -tsss
Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa this joke makes me so happy :D
I related to this one a lot. I as well got fired from a job at 21 years old. My first real job. All because of alcohol and maybe some drugs too. And immaturity. That also was a time when I should've realized that this will only get worse. It did get a lot worse.
I really like how You present Your journey to recovery.I like You drank heavily from 15 to 28.I worked with alot of alcoholics.I am not alcoholic.One day I realized I was craving alcohol I absolutly froze.My mind was a mess I knew I had to stop I was able to at the time.I did drink less than 20 beers a year for many years rarely over 1 per sitting.I am65 now take medication that is not compatible with alcohol.I am coming up on 1 year no alcohol.So its for my health now Do I miss it not really a nice dinner out with one beer was fine.I have water and I am fine.So my journey is different Yes I had hang overs and blackouts and wasted money and time.I had a wake up call and the fear 2as real.
I just listened to your audio book stu. It was very enjoyable
Friday drinker here! I don't stop until next Friday and even then i don't stop.
“Kitchens, man.” Sums up my drinking problem.
23 years in the restaurant industry, there are so many of those moments i’ve lost count. I own a restaurant now, which I wouldn’t have to do if I had stopped when I should have😆
I used to think, atleast I lived life to the fullest, but yeah, not so much
Great video and great stories. I've worked in the service industry before. As a bartender and as a cook. Its a wild place. Also, as I've stated, I've been a mechanic for quite some time. Shopes, especially 30 years ago, were a wild place too. The one moment for me would be when my future ex wife was expecting our first baby and she had just bought, amongst other things, a brand new baby bath, i got so drunk that i puked andni grabbed the baby bath and puked in it so much that i ruined it. We were pretty broke back then and she had saved up her money for weeks just to buy this stuff. She just looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes, shook her head, said "pathetic" and just walked away. Anyways. Great Great stuff man. Keep em coming.
How can you stop drinking when you do not understand that you have a problem ? 3.5 years sober now after 5 rehab program from 2007 to 2021. All that to find the source of my drinking problem. Now I always watch my self on wrong thoughts. I.e. : my wife and I just concluded on a land that we bought for our retirement house. Away from the big city, the perfect spot with a very low price! Some will say "Let's celebrate this!" Of course but no alcohol needed to celebrate. That's what we did, a nice diner home made filet mignon , Pink Floyd on the Hi-Fi full blast everything we REALLY like. Finding a reason to have a drink is part of dependency: "Ice Hockey match tonight! Montréal Canadian's vs Boston Bruins" or " It's friday, weekend time!" Stay clean! Have fun! 😉
That's the kind of life I'm aspiring too. Thanks for sharing!
Stuart, to answer your question. "We were all having such a good time".
Thanks, a very thought provoking video!
I'd just like to say I love your channel a lot, man. It has been a real pleasure hearing your stories and support for the ones who made the choice to stop. I just passed the two week mark of no alcohol and honestly... I'm starting to feel really damn good in life. I don't ever want to go back.
I felt so sick last night 30 + hours after my last drink. I still am recovering right now two days later. I have ruined countless holidays with alcoholism and missed work because of it. New Years Eve 1997 is when i should have realized I was in for a rough ride. I blacked out at a pub on a cold winter night and my Dad had to come find me. I had just turned 18 which is still considered underage in Canada but I was already well on my way into obivion.
I have a similar story.
When I was 16 I worked as a waitress/maid/cleaner/etc in the Lake District.
I absolutely loved the freedom of getting out of my parents abhorrent parenting for the summer season (I never went back, but that's another story) Like you, I did my job for the hours I had to then fucked off to the other pubs to make friends and sleep with with them, It was wild, it was great. Except for one day, when I'd stolen booze from our bar and went to drink alone as everyone else still had work.
I'd missed the train to where I was staying and I knew I had and I also knew I couldn't go back to work in this state so I thought me and my lethal concoction of spirits I'd made would sleep on the station.
Nope, the guards had to phone my employer to come and get me.
I had to go back home, to my awful life.
Wonderfully spoken
Love your vids, keep it up!
Thanks for watching, and for the support!
I love your stuff!
Why didn't I stop?
Well I can assure you I tried, numerous times.
After countless false dawns, DT rollercoaster rides, hospital stays, police cell morning afters, and rough sleeper homelessness, having drank everything and everyone away. Well, I finally had enough, drank myself out, call it what you will. The desire to revisit oblivion has been consigned to history and a previous life.
I'm happy to hear that mate, congrats on your progress, long may it continue. Sounds like your road was a rough one.
Ouch that skiing injury!!!!! *Shudder...!*.
And appalling behaviour by the South Africans.
We can't stop here... This is bat country!
Great stories Stu - thanks. It’s interesting how many Chefs and musicians/ artistes have been affected by alcohol or addiction. I worked in mental health for 22 years ironically whilst maintaining most of the time functionally apart from
Last 3-4 years as it cost me my job. Mind you I have also played guitar and sang for most of my life too. Keep up the wonderful stories. 🙏👍 “ Silvo”
Nobody can accuse me of not giving it my best effort...from the standpoint of DRINKING! 😉 I was a daily drinker by the ripe old age of seventeen, and I didn't let up until I was 27. My health was a wreck, and I was having difficulty holding a job...despite being a "schooled" bartender. But wait, it gets worse...
Between 27 and 37, I was charged with "OUI" (operating under the influence) and did two 28 day rehab stays. Finally, at almost 38, I had a moment of unadulterated surrender, and reluctantly began living in the solution, instead of the problem.
Why didn't I stop at 27? Simple, I hadn't sabotaged my life sufficiently to become "Entirely Ready". That, my friends, is the norm for most chronic drinkers...we just weren't ready. I'm not even pissed that I threw away another decade of my life, because that's what it took for me to embrace the greatest adventure of my life...SOBRIETY! I'm now 68, and I've never been happier! ✌❤ Mark
Congrats on the progress you've made, long may it continue, and thanks for the inspirational story!
Congratulations on 9.75 K Subscribers!🎈 Thumbs Up!👍 and shared out. Your videos are so Good!!😊💞🎃
PS Your channel is going to Blow Up 🆙!😊
OG BAT!! Great video...the realist
You are bang on about ignoring the red flags for way to long . . .
I started drinking heavily at nineteen. Before that I could take it or leave it. But I ended up in young offenders three times and had my nineteenth birthday on my last sentence.
After I got out, I could tell I was a bit broken, but I couldn't properly see it until I was a lot older. I started to drink and fall asleep on pub tables. Not all the time, but I knew then that I was drinking to oblivion. I would've loved to travel back in time to see young me , nodding off in my local pub and just slapped the bottle out of my hand. But almost 26 years later I'm getting an inpatient detox and hopefully an inpatient rehab after. I've got the rest of my life to live. And I want to enjoy it.
I only really got bad in my 30s and no specific point stands out, to the outside I was a functional alcoholic. So far from the truth.
'functioning alcoholic' is an oxymoron, isn't it? You can only be one or the other.
@@_BatCountry did qualify that with from the outside it would have appeared that way.
@@p1aydumb280 Yeah I got that, I was agreeing with you but my tone was a bit off
Hey bro there's a glitch in the video at 2:49. Just letting you know. Great vid as alwasy 👍👍
Thanks mate. And I know, that's been happening since I switched to a mac from windows and I can't figure out what's causing it. Really annoying.
This is because alcohol can be a trigger for breathing concerns, leading to an increased sensitivity in the airways, inflammation and even bronchoconstriction.
You should start a podcast.
I enjoyed that story of shame was good
Don’t ever drink liquor alone. The day I started that, I was doomed.
I agree mate, that was a major characteristic of my later drinking.
When I was on vacation in Budapest for a week with a bunch of friends from my student society, we'd been drinken heavy every day. One day a friend and I were stumbling to our hostel from a club, when a guy asked if we had a light. I hand him my lighter, he lights his joint and asks if I want a drag... my dumb drunk ass doesn't ask what's in it, assuming it's just weed, and takes a drag. Within seconds I'm halucinating like I've never before (and I'd done plenty of shrooms and acid), after an inderteminable amount of time that felt both like a moment and an eternity I come to in an ambulance, proceed to projectile vomit all over the ambulance and pass out again. Wake up again while getting an IV, pass out again, and wake up in a hospital bed with the mother of all hangovers. It lasted several days and I've never felt so sick and universally miserable ever. And although it wasn't the acohol itself, I'd never have done somethign as stupid as taking drugs from a stranger without even asking what it was while already completely smashed. That's really when I should have stopped. I knew I had a problem then, but didn't want to face it yet.
In case anyone wonders, we don't know what it was. Budapest had a big crazy designer drug scene at the time, so it was some weird shit someone cooked up in their basement probably...
Good lord. I love Budapest, but sometimes it is very... Budapesty. Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad you're doing better today!
@@_BatCountry Thanks :) I'm very glad too. It's funny looking back on that story now, about 8 years later, and realizing that being a thing that actually happened. My life now is so much better and stable, but I consciencely remember that yes, that idiot was me, and IS. If I give in to the urge when I'm feeling down that will be me again. I'm at that point where the biggest catch is that thought that I could handle a few drinks. There's a duality in my mind where I feel a certainty that I could, and I have to keep reminding myself that alcohol can't make my life better in any way, so no matter how convinced I am that it wouldn't ruin my life this time, there is just no reason to ever drink, because even if I am correct and it wouldn't ruin my life, I can say with 100% certainty it won't make it better.
And yeah, nightlife in Budapest is quite something. It's funny, I'm Dutch... Amsterdam has a reputation, but it's got nothing on Budapest.
It’s hard to pick a crashing moment when I said.. ffs this is enough!
2 times stand out..1, woke up after another blackout looking in the mirror with a scrapped face and cracked front tooth.. that made me cry!
2, Another blackout night and woke looked in the mirror with a black eye(boyfriend!) still didn’t quite hit bottom but yes would have saved myself another 20yrs of shit!
10 weeks sober 😊
Pretty wild story man! I was around the same age (around 23) when I realized I had a problem and should probably stop drinking. It was the first time I went through severe withdrawal/alcoholic hallucinosis. The hallucinations I had were so frightening, that to this day, I still have nightmares about that whole experience! The scariest hallucination was a visual one I had while taking a shower, well, trying to at least. The moment I turned on the water, I saw a stream of black ants coming out of the shower head where the water comes out. At that point, I could no longer deny that something was terribly wrong and I finally went to the hospital where I spent a few days recovering. You would think an ordeal like that would get me to stop, but within a week of my discharge from the hospital I went right back to binge drinking, and continued on for many years. I really wish I would have stopped then because it would have saved me a world of troubles!
Hello mate, thanks for watching! That is a very vivid hallucination, it must have been terrifying. And I know what you mean: why don't we stop after that? We do we go back to it so many times? I don't think I'll ever understand it. What matters is that you're doing better today.
That one moment - from many - must have been when scraped from the gutter by four people, put into their car where I lined them with the remains of the night's litre of rum and waking up with the calling card of what appeared to be a cult / church / heaven know's what in my pocket. It is perhaps for the best the recollections are just those. That was in 1992.
How to end the cycle of "realize 99% of my problems are direct consequences of alcohol -> quit -> feel good -> forget why I quit all the time -> have a drink -> feel very good -> have more -> feel like shit -> have more -> feel like utter shit -> have more -> do some stupid -> realize 99%... -> quit -> repeat"? People keep saying "it does not matter how many times one fall but how many times he gets up". But I wonder if there is a treshold. Its getting tiresome.
Great story...in a sick way..