By the time my body built up a tolerance to significant levels of constant alcohol in my body, I knew exactly why I continued to drink: to feel normal. I no longer enjoyed alcohol. But without it I felt terrible.
Man you’ve really been a hit in the sobriety community. People were mentioning you over on Reddit in those recovery subs. Can’t say I’m surprised, you’ve really tapped into something here and I think it could really help a lot of people so keep it up my comrade!
Oh really? That's great to hear! I actually got banned from reddit for posting my own video there ages ago, so it's fantastic to hear that it's getting out there organically :D
As the wife, daughter, and sister of alcoholics, I can say that everything you said is 100% true. Thank you for this video. My husband has over 2 years of sobriety under his belt and I sure could’ve used this video over two years ago. I hope a person who is currently where I was at over two years ago, sees this and gains something from it ❤
This channel is better than any other on this subject. Most of the others tend towards saying that they never really had a problem and they espouse the benefits of quitting. You, on the other hand, have been to the depths of hell and give us the gift of your insight. Thank you 🙏🏻
spot on as usual. what i did find was that when i gave up some of the things i was avoiding like my grief for my parents actually dissolved with no effort. the alcohol was prolonging it decades after it should have naturally resolved itself.
Wow. This is the perfect explanation for this issue. Im coming up on 2 years of continuous sobriety and currently having my first real string of consistent cravings. Repairing my messed up life and relationships kept me too busy to have cravings for all this time I think. But now that things are relatively stable and I’ve gained everyone’s trust back and have money and things in order, I’m feeling the pull stronger than ever and sometimes I get caught up in blaming myself and beating myself down for feeling the craving to drink and possibly ruin it all..and I forget that I’m not NECESSARILY stupid or weak, this disease is just REAAAAAAAALLLLLLYYYY freaking good at what it does…. ….even two years later. thanks for making the content you do though sir. this stuff helps remind me of why I’m sober in the first place.
I'm glad this struck a chord with another person who has a long stint of sobriety. Because that's the point, it tkes a bit of perspective to understand just HOW GOOD this disease is at what it does to you. The odds are stacked against us as soon as we have alcohol in our systems. Congrats on your sober time mate, and I appreciate the comment.
Keep up the good work man. For me I had to keep myself insanely busy for the first few years of sobriety. I refused to ever drink and drive, it was a line I would never cross even at the height of my alcoholism. I became an Uber driver just to stay busy at night. I usually stuck to airport trips to avoid the bar crowd. Get a 2nd job if you need to. I also couldn't go inside a store that sold alcohol at night, too much temptation.
Alcholism causes also issues over the generations. A child of an alcoholic could start drinking as they become adults to cope with a lack of emotional support from the parents. And if everyone around copes with alcohol, the road to hell is paved well. I think there is also a bigger societal drive regarding alcholism, but that doesn't take the responsibility away from a person who's suffering from it. Good videos, thanks.
Recently went to a pub and had a soft drink with family. They remarked at how fast I got a pint of lemonade down. My alcoholic brain tried to trick me with "maybe I never was an alcoholic, maybe I just drink too quickly" This despite ten years of hospitals, detox centres and holding cells.
Oh wow yeah I've been struck by that thought too. I actually think I drink soft drinks fast out of anxiety. Like I need to fill my body as quickly as possible to stop alcohol from getting in. Weird. That's a real insight, thank you!
Two AA people sitting in Airport...one went to use toilet returned to see his buddy sitting at the bar drinking a whiskey...he had no recollection of how it had happened.
I have seen firsthand how alcohol destroys relationships. I was simply the friend of an alcoholic. For years I begged my friend to stop, I tried everything I could think of to get them to see what was happening, and what would happen if they didn't start making different decisions for themselves. My friend wavered between denying there was a problem and saying they wanted to get help to stop drinking, but they never actually sought help, despite telling me they had. As the lies they were telling me became more and more obvious, the trust was gradually eroded day by day, to the point where all trust was gone and I questioned then doubted, then outright disbelieved everything they had ever told me in the past about never drinking and driving, not drinking during the week, only drinking a certain amount etc. I remember saying to them once that it seemed as if they cared about alcohol more than anything or anyone else. They just looked at me blankly and didn't say a word. Now my friend is in hospital barely able to walk a single step. I dont phone them, and don't want to visit them, because all my caring and sympathy fell on deaf ears for so long, it was extinguished. I know that probably sounds heartless, but for my own sanity I had to detach emotionally - worrying about them was making me ill, and had no effect on them, so I simply had to stop doing it.
That's a poignant example. Emotional detachment is important. You can't force help onto us alcoholics, we have to be ready, and to want it for ourselves. Before then, no help will help. And sometimes, it's necessary to cut ties until that person is ready. Thanks for the thoughtful comment, I want to talk about this subject in more depth soon.
I was a get blackout drunk twice a week alcoholic. (I mean I still I am an alcoholic, but I’m two years sober). My issue was I’d stop for like 5 weeks so then think to myself, “oh I’m better now, I obviously don’t have a problem if I’ve gone this long without a drink. So I’ll have a few drinks tonight.” Then I’ll get blackout drunk again as I just couldn’t stop once I’d started.
"Alcohol is a mechanism to avoid coping with something." That sums it up exactly for me. I was drinking as a way of running away from dealing with all my insecurities and all my mental health problems...and avoiding having to deal with being an adult with responsibilities in general, to be honest. To abdicate from reality. Another way I use to describe my own drinking was that when things got overwhelming, it was me 'checking out' of my own brain for a while. Like just not being present, out of action. Just for a few days, until I can face checking back in to being me. Which, obviously, is ludicrous. But makes completely logical sense at the time. 🤷 Once again, thankyou for a brilliant video 😊
Wow well said that is 100% me.. I've lost a few family members over the last couple of years and when I'm drunk I drop out of normality and don't think about the grief 🫡
i was drinking last night when my girlfriend asked me to come cuddle her. I got annoyed because I didn't want to lay down, fall asleep, and waste the alcohol. i wanted to stay and keep playing my video game and enjoy the high. I begrudgingly went because i love her, but now it's the next day and i hate that i would've rather been alone and drunk. You're right, it makes you so stupid and selfish.
For me I had no idea how uncomfortable I was with myself. I had to get sober to realize how much I needed to love myself again, forgive myself and others, how anxious I was. I had to do some real work to stay stopped. It’s been 3 years. Grateful for this video and you.
I agree the hair of the dog is what started my spiral. Id crack a brew when I woke to calm the anxiety. That turned into a 6p every morning and it got worse everyday that went by
For me, the drive to want to quit, but the difficulty in doing so, was like an extreme form of procrastination. Quitting was always something I felt like I was on the verge of doing, but there would always be another reason to put it off for just a little bit longer. Family coming to visit? Don't want to be going through withdrawals in front of them. Christmas is coming up? It'll be easier to quit once that stress has passed. Oh no, now that Christmas is over, I just realised how difficult it will be to quit with everybody drinking on New Years Eve. I'll make my sobriety my New Year resolution!
Hello. An alcoholic from Turkey. First of all I thank you man. You have no idea how your RUclips videos are enlightening and live saver. I can't describe howow i appreciate your videos. I have been sober for over a year however I am a bat countryholic now:) However I know that I am a binge drinker so the shadow 70 cl bottle of vodka will be always on the horizon. I have been struggling with alcohol use disorder and on and off to rehab center. Interestingly My spiral begun after the age of 35 when I was living in Boston for my master's degree and thing went south with the onset of Covid 19 outbreak. I started to work from home because of restrictions and dive into 6 month spiral of binge drinking period with consuming a liter of Jaggermeister. At the end of the period I went cold turkey (what a stupid move) and withdrawal kicked in. Tremors, nausea, night terrors... Next day mild symptoms mitigated and I thought I was out of the woods... I hadn't slept for 2 days. I was watching some documentary on Netflix and all of a sudden I saw some Ying Yangish ball at the right top of the screen it begun turning and expanding and closing into my eyes and I realized that I was about the have a grand mal seizure. I open my eyes in a hospital room and they treated me with benzos. With drawal. Pure hell. Anyways I have been seeing a psychiatrist for awhile and he comes with a different approach. We discuss being a "occasional drinker" in the long term. ( not moderate or social drinker that train is long gone). He explains being occasional drinker that instead of carrying the burden and struggling with not touching an alcohol till the end of your life you can strictly drink clearly limited occasions like new years eve, Anniversaries, or vacations. Only 4-5 times per year. What do you think about this approach? Can we be "occasional" drinkers? It can be an interesting topic for you to make a video.
Merhaba! That's in interesting background. My girlfriend spent much of her life in academia, and she tells me that alcoholism is a major, and under-discussed, problem there. I wish there were better protections for students and academic. That ying-yang ball. That sent a chill down my arms. I haven't had a seizure, but I'e seen that. Kind of like looking into a kaleidoscope, right? It really shook me up even though I was fine. As for occasional drinking, it's not possible for me, but I'm open-minded. I've heard some people talk about "supervised relapses" or planned relapses. If that works for people, fine. But to me, it sounds like alcoholic-brain giving us an excuse to drink again. I don't need to try it to know it won't work.
Great video. I really like the lighting. I think people who don't understand the withdrawal process are the ones who might say, "Why don't you just quit?"
Glad you like the lighting! Feels good to get some colour back in to the videos. And yeah, this video is kind of aimed directly at those folk. Sorry I've not been around much, I' catching up on everything now.
I suspect my best friend is close to alcoholism. He gets into really really bad bar fights, does not remember anything, just his rip turns out to be broken. I now refuse to go out with him. After drinking, the next day, he is puking the whole time, cannot eat a single bit. Pisses and shits his pants on his way home from the bar and when he goes to bed. So sad to see his decline. I think loneliness is what makes him turn towards alcohol. I am so grateful for my wife and her alcohol free wine and beer collection. When I see your content, I really start hating alcohol.
Hi! Yeah I'm fascinated by the dreams that come with withdrawal. I've talked about them at length in previous videos, but I'd love to do one specifically about the dreams. so stay tuned, and thanks for the comment.
When I was 20 I hated alcohol and never touched it; I wanted nothing to do with it. Now at 43, all I wish is that I could get that old me back - so much of my life has been wasted.
By the time I was in my late teens, I was already a "blackout" drinker. My thinking, to a certain extent was, "this is normal", or at the very least, "I'll grow out of this". What I didn't realize was that I was already pumping a hand cart to physical addiction. Once that line is crossed, it is very difficult to "just stop" because the "oil level" has to be maintained. So it's physical, compounded by a mental obsession, and further compounded by the delusional belief (Lie) that by our intellect, we can overcome today what we couldn't overcome yesterday. If all of that isn't enough, and we haven't had legal problems because of drinking, or other catastrophic negative consequences, we just cinch down on the seatbelt, believing "if we're really careful, we will make this work". Alcoholism is a progressive, and fatal condition. As we say in the fellowship, "Worse, never better". I sincerely hope that those "struggling", "fighting", or "battling" to stop drinking, will simply surrender, and start focusing on living differently. ✌❤ Mark
My mom died of alcoholism when I quite young, and I've found that I have come to resent her a lot in adulthood. The nihilistic selfishness of committing slow suicide in front of your kids. But she was one of five, all fellow alcoholics. Both grandparents, alcoholics. Close friends? Alcoholics. I can only imagine pulling yourself out of the pit of stupidity and selfishness when all the other crabs in the bucket are fighting their hardest to keep you down. And further, they're all you know. Yours is the first insight that that brings me back to empathy. Thanks for that.
Just my honest opinion, I couldn't stop drinking and I like you didn't care about anyone but mostly myself...I loved and missed my family but alcohol took over my life, after tons of attempts I was finally done, 14 1/2 years later I can honestly say I haven't had the urge to drink since day one, partly because I was done ruining my life and wanted to live and partly because I lost the fear of not drinking....I'm not judging and this is just my stupid opinion, if you still have the urge even if it's just for a minute there is something that you still fear in life that causes that urge....I went thru a 9 month program and went to AA meetings for the 1st few years and it just dawned on me like an epiphany that I just didn't want to continually talk about my drinking day after day, I wanted to move on and live life without it. I still have mental issues like anxiety and depression and possibly some mental damage from how long and how much I drank and everything I lost....believe me, if I went thru a Salvation Army rehab program you know I had nothing left and nothing to lose so I had no choice but to finally do it for me not my ex wife, kids, job etc. so I finally was able to heal and think about where I went wrong and develop who I wanted to be. I lost the fear and the urge has not returned and as much as AA tell s us that it's temporary I think that's BS, I also believe that folks that need AA every day are still afraid to live and still live in their addiction and that's more dangerous than addressing what is wrong and what they fear....lose the fear, lose the urge. I'm sorry if I'm offending and I don't mean to but everyone is different and can make it. I don't let my previous alcoholism define me and no one should. I love being sober and although some won't let me forget who I was I disregard them, I am done apologizing for who I was a long time ago.
I really like the way you phrase things, it gives me a clearer perspective than I had in a long while. I have often wondered what the world would be like without alcohol. Would humankind then just find something else to use to try to shield them from their problems and at the same time create new ones? And if so, what? Perhaps they may just gravitate to one of many of the other addictions that humans currently indulge in. Overeating is a big one. Cigarette smoking another.
Fell off the wagon on day 154 yesterday. Went about as awfully as expected. I watched myself drink until I blacked out and then the blackout brigade took over. On the upside, I reminded myself why I must not drink. Peace and love to one and to all and big thanks for the vids :) x
One mistake does not undo the progress you have made - you are doing far better than I have managed. Keep progressing, and - if you don’t mind me saying - the Lord bless you and keep you.
Thankyou for your channel. You put a lot of effort and thought into content and message.. I look forward to you posting! And the booze… yep… it’s a killer.. I’m in recent recovery… coming up to one month… I’ve painted the whole inside of the house! Keeping my mind, body busy is imperative in the “early” stage of recovery. Thanks so much again! I’ve had enough of being stupid! Thanks again Stu. 🎉❤
Thanks for watching Kirsten, and congrats on a month! That's a huge threshold, be proud, but also be vigilant. You painted the whole house, huh? Wow that's dedication.
I’ve stumbled across this video because I have genuinely wondered why people don’t just choose to drink less. I’ve only recently felt this way because I’m surrounded by people that drink way too much and without trying to sound rude it’s just annoying to be around and have everything revolve around drinking. It has come to the point where I see what other people are doing and I know that’s exactly how I don’t want to end up. I’m okay with occasional social drinking but there’s a time and a place for everything. Alcohol can be an easy solution to blow off responsibilities and that’s just the start. It may be something as simple and not mowing the lawn and then it can get worse from there. Either way thanks for making this video, it gives me a better understanding of what someone could be going through and why it’s not so simple. From my naive perspective I say just don’t drink as much but clearly it’s not that simple. Maybe people could transfer their time from drinking to fitness?
Great video as always, Bat Country! To your point about cordyceps, I would literally put myself in places where relapses were more likely to occur. I would go to bars on dates. I would go to office happy hours. I would buy cigars from liquore stores. An alcoholic in his right mind would not be in any of those places, but alcoholism's disinhibitory effects make it seem perfectly reasonable. When I think of the sinister intelligence of my alcoholism, I remember the vivid horrors and hallucinations of delirium tremens. Knowing, from experience, that my alcoholic imagination has potentially unlimited creative influence over my perception makes it very easy for me to understand why so many people are disinhibited in their choice to drink again. It is a powerful force that takes true resilience to resist long-term-- much respect to you and all of those who have some time.
It was! In your last video, about the leadup to a relapse. I'm glad that the concept got some air time on your channel! I'm certain that alcoholism is an evil parasite but it sure behaves that way!
Can anyone else appreciate the similarities between the movie The Exorcist, and the experience of full on detox? Especially the puking. To me being a drunk made me wonder if I were possessed by an evil spirit that was hell bent on owning my soul. Many know how hard it was to finally free ourselves from such a debilitating disease. The point is that addiction is simply a terrible trap, and I can't figure out who, or what may be behind it. The devil? I don't know. I'm left with these two questions. Is addiction evil? Or is evil addictive?
My brother, your content and your honest sharing of your experiences are really, really helpful - I really appreciate the work you are doing! Thank you so so much for putting in your time. I am currently struggling a bit to end a 4-month relapse, and going through a bit of personal hell, so having a channel like yours is helping me a lot ❤
Coping doesn't necessarily mean successfully dealing with an issue. Psychologically speaking, drugs are a dysfunctional coping mechanism. They absolutely do work, only not in a functional, positive way.
@@_BatCountry Thank you, too. I've had a very problematic drinking pattern these last few years and your stories have helped me finally accept that. I really rather listen to you than be able to retell those experiences from personal memory.
Can I just say your channel name is absolutely perfect. It’s like the first chapter in Hunter Thompsons Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas where the dude and his lawyer are driving down the highway while super high on mescaline and they enter bat country where the hallucinations blend with reality and shit gets weird. Then they pick up a hitchhiking Peter Parker. Which is what alcoholism is like, looking into and then going into the void of darkness or craziness or bat country
I LOVE!!! your videos. You said that you are only speaking yourself. Well your speaking for me too. I have struggling with my addiction for the past few years. In these I have put in months at a time being sober. Honestly I can not tell you one time when my craving were not psychological. Thank you for trying to explain this to people who don't live with addiction.
You Nailed it when you said it is phsychoactive. I don't think many people really understand what that means. For days afterwards your brain isn't working the same as a sober person, that is why it is so easy to convince yourself "just one drink". is a good idea. "I"ll just have one or two to take the edge off then I'll be able to focus on quitting and fixing my life. THEN you have 2 drinks and a third sounds like a fantastic idea, then 10 more etc etc. I also agree that the morning hair of the dog is when the real darkness begins. That is when I rapidly when from very heavy functioning alcoholic to completely off the rails drunk 24/7. You don't typically function for very long when you hit that level. Great video as always my friend.
Thanks you for watching Knight. And yeah, I wish I'd made the point a bit clearer: "your brain isn't working the same as a sober person." That sums up in a sentence what it took me 10 minutes to try to explain!
Both the virus and cordyceps zombie analogy is spot on. It reminds me of the expression, "I have a monkey on my back". And that monkey is alcohol always whispering in your ear.
This was really helpful to me. I became interested by this channel because of my own problem drinking, but this helps me to understand my Dad better. He really went through intense alcoholism with rehab, losing his job and driving license and so on, but still convinced himself he could start drinking wine openly again at home at one time. He'd often have cheeky drinks when we had guests over and it would have been socially more awkward for us to make a big fuss.
When it comes to, "when does alcohol become a problem", a psychiatrist put it in a way i felt was really useful. "When it makes you feel normal. Not happy, ecstatic, joyful, but what you truly to your core believe is baseline normal. That is the barbed hook of addiction." (I actually said most of that, but it is usually more credible when you attribute it to someone else🙃) A dear guy friend of mine is going through this process right at the same time as me, and we have been supporting each other. We yalked for a few hours this evening and of course kvetched about all the things we failed at, but that was maybe fifteen minutes out of two hours. The vaaast majority was about How Are We, and How Are We improving. Talked strategy. Past and future. What we were thankful for. And at no time (this is most important part number one) was there shame, guilt, or anger. Remorse? Sure. Complex emotional trauma? Absolutely. A laser focus on what we Know In Our Bones is What Brings and Enforces Meaning? Hell yeah. He has his plan, i have mine. I am gonna start sending him your videos, Mr. Bat. He absolutely will enjoy them, for the right reasons. Cheers m8
Hey J! That's a pretty good definition, your psychiatrist (you) must be very wise. I like your strategy too - I didn't do it on purpose, but sobriety brought with a constant search for Meaning, and I'e found that to be really rewarding. It's a good, albeit ultimately unachievable, goal. I always enjoy your comments mate, thanks for swinging by.
Ah, that fungus. I've seen photos of it fruiting out of ants. It is like something out of a dark, twisted dimension. (I love your thoughts on alcoholism, 80-90% rings so true it feels like yer reading my pickled brain). The implications that fungus poses is nothing short of mind bending. On the one hand, something like a drug binding to a receptor to induce a certain action in certain neurons is one thing. A pathogen that, through a mechanism makes the host do certain things it wouldn't normally do through, what phrasing should I even use, Newtonian style rules is another. But a living creature from a different Kingdom driving the *intent* of another is a whole 'nother cheeseburger my friend. Aliens aren't gonna kill us, AI aren't gonna kill us, nukes aren't gonna kill us. No, not them. A cheese pizza with extra mushrooms served from a hipster brick oven in the heart of Brooklyn are **going to kill us all!!* (Somebody get me Michael Bay)
13:08 story reminds me a lot of the Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis which I would highly recommend (Though it is religious, I would say it is no less applicable to the humanist or non-believer)
I'm not familiar with it, but anything written by CS Lewis and dedicated to Tolkien is worth reading. I'll grab a copy, thanks for the excellent recommendation.
Of all the RUclipsrs, podcasters, authors etc; I have never stumbled across one that hits home for me or any that I can properly relate to but you've changed that for me. And that's only after watching two of your videos so far. Listening to you talk about the way you do about everything is honestly so eye opening. The way you described your brains psychology in a way that it tried to trick you to get you to drink by using any excuse possible in order to numb pain, trauma, PTSD etc. Rather than dealing with problems as you said is much harder to do than continue to drink. Awesome work you're doing here thank you.
Making the comparisons I thought: I should tell him about the cordyceps fungus! And right then you already started talking about it lol.. I never thought about it that way. In fact you manage to put so many thoughts and feelings I (and prolly many people) have into comprehensive sentences that things are becoming clearer. So thank you for that. I'm currently visualizing the alcoholism as an evil cordyceps that's trying to lure me to a liquor store. The hard part you mentioned, being selfish and a coward, I can sorta relate to. I've always been a loner, it's difficult for me to deal with people. And I know that's one hell of a risk factor to begin with. Or as I've often heard/read from recovering people: building real connections and take on responsibilities and contribute to society can be a foundation of staying sober. But I don't want to do any of that, and I'm trying to figure out how much of that is my personality vs the longer term effect of alcohol, (or just getting older, even..). Either way, I need to find things that work for me.
Your videos are so good and so well done and comforting it makes wanna drink. The lighting and the music in the background makes my brain think I could be having a nice glass of wine in front of the fireplace and listening to the music and reading a book. But in reality I'd probably set the house on fire and blast some crazy ass music and soon I'd have the police and paramedics in my house. What an illusion. I'm on day 10 today it sucks.
Thanks Stu. Some great insights in here especially towards the end. Booze really is a wily SOB. The fact that’s it’s the state sponsored, taxed and legitimate drug of choice enables the justification too. I can remember lots of firmly held entitlement that because others were boozing, it meant I should be allowed to as well. The shame is entirely private…which can magnify it of course, but does mean it’s easier to compartmentalise.
@@_BatCountry That’s an interesting question. In one sense it’s very hard not to miss something that you once loved, and loved for many years. It’s a part of our history and let’s be honest, it begins as something hugely enjoyable. So I think of booze as the other woman… the unreliable girlfriend. I don’t take her calls. I’m not going to meet up. This time it won’t be different. But do I think about her ? Sure. We had some fun, but it’s over now. Doesn’t help that I’m a nostalgic fool and I romanticise peak experiences. I guess that is common too. Short answer, no it’s not unhealthy per se. To call it unhealthy feels like a route to self shame and we know what triggers. As long as you can play the tape forward. And this is where you are self evidently strong and indeed where you are helping us. If anyone’s in any doubt where it ultimately ends up they can always take a day trip to Bat Country. Question from me - Do you feel slightly shameful about missing it or are you concerned it’s providing evidence you will never be entirely free?
Exvellent video, helps me undetstand my fathers alcoholism and why I feel he mostly seems disconnected or doesnt care about me. I know this is a bit random off topic but I also live here in Pattaya, Thailand, where I estimate, without exaggeration, the proportion of alcoholics among the expat community to be at least 75%. Every other day, we have "jumpers"......expats who have had enough of life and will jump off their balconies in the high-rise condominium towers. Alcohol is involved in nearly every case a Thai medic once told me. They have specialist crews who go around recovering the bodies.
That's so interesting, you're not the only expat who has mentioned the alcoholic culture in Thailand. I've thought seriously about relocating there from time to time, I'm glad I didn't do it before I got sober or I can imagine how it might have ended for me too. What do you think is causing it? Because I've seen a similar pattern of Western expats in Seoul, and in Shanghai, where I lived.
i was diagnosed with anxiety and put on paxil prior to becoming an alcoholic i too found great relief in alcohol and for years it worked well but it turns on you and destroys you its a wonderful servant but a cruel master i think one reasons well if there is nothing wrong taking a pill to cope why not a liquid also there is interesting information on antidepressants and alcohol cravings it actually a thing
Man, the way you word your presentations just draws expertly on my own experiences, it’s uncanny! I’ve been loving these videos, they’re great inspiration and they’ve helped me understand some of my failures as well
I've been sober for 4 years now by the grace of God I lost so many People due to Alcohol Just the thought of it makes me sick I drink weed tea every night In alright now God Bless 🙏
As an alcoholic, I would like to throw this into the mix. My mother's father, my mother and my sister were all alcoholics too. My father and other sister are 'normal'. I didn't find out about them until I was in recovery. Genetics plays a part in all this as well.
Here in Vancouver barely able to type this message. Heading for my second rehab tomorrow and just wanted to reach out to the sober community and yourself specifically. Enjoy the Mediterranean
Thank you, I have been listening to your videos for the majority of the day. I use addiction to escape who I really am, too scared to face it and all I have been through. Your videos really help, I can't express how much I appreciate them. I find aggression in any form extremely difficult to listen too, your voice, composure and kindness is the very opposite of that. So thank you Stuart, I am so very glad and fortunate to find your channel.
I've been sober for 80 days. I was a big binge drinker on the weekends. 3-4 bottles of wine friday evening and just drink non-stop until sunday evening. Back to work monday morning. What do I do now? Take up a hobby or something? I feel like I've turned a way a soulmate/best friend or love of my life girlfriend. It feels strange. Physically and don't have any cravings. Psychologically I think I'm doing ok too, the only thing making me want to drink again is asking myself, what is the benefit of being sober? Yes, i am healthier, lost weight, better skin, more energy but I am not happier, yet anyways
Be patient mate, you've already done the hard part. That feeling that you're not happier sober actually IS a kind of craving in disguise: it's alcoholism trying to persuade you to drink again. Whispering in your ear. "What's the point? You've wrecked everything, you may as well enjoy yourself." It's all bullshit, and it will subside in time. Took ages for me. In the meantime, fill the empty time with exercise, and start a youtube channel.
I hid in the bottle to avoid financial stress and stressful work. Ironically, when I started drinking from morning to night, I was rich. The longer I stayed in the bottle, the worse off I got. I woke up and had "just one", drank until I passed out, and then woke up and did it again. For 5 years.... When I quit, I had a mountain of financial problems to fix.
If you drink because of a problem, congratulations, now you got TWO problems. I think I heard Steve-O say that, and it stuck with me. I hope life has improved for you, and that your new circumstances are satisfactory.
@@_BatCountry As my dad always said, Life is a bitch and then you die, lol. But in all honesty, any life sober beats and life as a drunk. It will take me a few months to fix the chaos from my latest foray/relapse, but I feel confident and happy when I don't have poison making life feel pointless and not worth trying to fix.
Such agreat video. Especially what you said about AA. Sometimesi think it can act almost like an excuse to drink. The alcoholic logic you mention. Brilliant video
Hi Stu, May I congratulate you on an amazing channel. The drinking thinking thing Is definitely a thing that is created in the brain. It's as if neuro passages are created over time. It took me 3 years to realise this was the case. For me, it was the fear of never drinking again that I just couldn't get my head around. I was taught a trick that really worked for me .... that trick is to give yourself 1 month without drinking then after a month, list all the positives and negatives of being sober ... if the postives outweigh the negatives, give yourself another month of not drinking ..... then after 2 months, do the same .... this way, there is always an option ..... after 6 months, my drinking thinking had subsided ... as if the neuro process had changed .... my sober thinking was becoming the norm ... until I just didn't think about the positive and negatives .... I'm nearly 8 years sober ....
i don't think I'm an alcoholic but I've been binge drinking for about a week every month or so and i can never stop until i run out. i need to keep myself from doing it again and right now I'm at the brink of going to the store again. i related so much to this. if i had a constant supply of alcohol i would definitely fall back into it. the main thing keeping me from doing it is social anxiety funnily enough. i tell myself I'll just drink a bottle of vodka max, but then I pass out, wake up, realize I'm not drunk anymore so i drink again right when i wake up and keep doing that until i run out. last time this happened, about two weeks ago, i got to a point where i just felt normal and if i didn't keep drinking every half an hour or so i would get really sad and feel guilty. i want that floaty feeling again really bad right now. i just want to pass out and shut my brain up.
Forgiveness is good, but it's not necessary. I'm lucky to have been given so many second chances, but I also know that if everyone had cut ties with me, I'd have understood.
It was only in the first few weeks that I actually wanted to drink. For the rest of my addiction I did NOT want to drink, but I had to force myself to drink in order to not suffer from withdrawal and to not feel the reality that I wanted to escape from. I wanted to quit more than anything else but it just wasn't possible. I guess most addicts don't want to drink, they just have to. There's a devil sitting on your shoulder constantly, and he's constantly, and he's trying to convince you that you'll only have one drink and that you'll quit next week. It's so awful. Anyone actively struggling with alcoholism, get yourself professional help, I promise you will not regret it! ♥️
This is a very nuanced point, very well explained. I'm pretty sure I've told you in the past that you should have a youtube channel and be saying this stuff to a bigger audience.
"Professional help" isn't for everyone. I tried many professional avenues, to no avail. In the end I managed it by myself, and if anything, engaging with certain services and resources actually made me want to drink more.
Really enjoying your channel, thank you (and I love the background music). I would like to know what posses people to neck neat spirits? Surely you'd crave a cold beer or a nice glass of wine?
The way we drink has nothing to do with drinking, it's about oblivion I think. It's more like hitting yourself on the head with hammer than it is actually drinking. We don't do it for the taste. This is a good question mate, thank you.
to paraphrase, Pascal: "the heart has reasons, that reason does not understand." the addictive mind is so clever at lying, scheming, manipulating the addict, & has been a known ruthless serial killer for as long as yeast has been fermenting..
@@_BatCountry on a similar note, this Shopenhauer quote: (tacked it on my ceiling) "man can do what he wills, but he cannot will what he wills." for me is reminder to pray for guidance!
Great joke! I relate to all of this. I have had several "urges" lately. I callbthem lifestyle triggers because they werent physical cravings. One happened when I was going to go get breakfast. My brain briefly told me that I could have a couple screwdrivers and it would be fine. I didn't go to breakfast. The first beer i would have in the morning i would call my maintenance beer. "Cunning, baffling, powerful." Great stuff as always my friend. Glad to hear you bit a meeting. I wasn't able to go to a meeting for a few days due to a hurricane and power outages and boy did it feel not right. Anyways. Thanks for the content. ODAAT!
You'd have liked this meeting mate. I live in the car capital of the UK, near Coventry. Aston Martin, Jaguar, Land Rover, JCB, they're all here, and everyone in the meeting works in the motor trade. And what you call Triple A in the US, we call AA in the UK, so I with all the car talk I thought maybe I'd gone to the wrong kind of AA meeting. ODAAT brother.
@_BatCountry that's awesome. Visiting the UK is definitely on my bucket list. I'd be interested to see how AA is done there as meeting formats vary widely from region to region even in the states.
I've seen severe alcoholics withdraw from alcohol successfully thanks to benzos. Of course, that is no long time solutuon, but it really helps you through the worst of withdrawal and avoid dts. Tapering with alcohol might work as well, but that's really difficult. Especially coming from the depths of a terrible bender.
You directly spoken to me I get tricked also to drink after work don't get me wrong the excitement is good but yes definitely getting tricked to make excuses up to drink
Alcohol makes us stupid. But alcoholism in itself is incredibly intelligent.
That hit hard.
So accurate and well spoken.
Thank you.
Thank you, and thanks for watching!
Absolutely!
"alcohol's trying to trick you into drinking"...that is just so true
LOL 😆
What a hidden gem of a channel this is, your voice is addictive to listen to, great story telling.
Thanks so much, that means a lot.
I feel the same. Happened by this channel by happy accident x
Thanks for leaving the comment I wanted to.
By the time my body built up a tolerance to significant levels of constant alcohol in my body, I knew exactly why I continued to drink: to feel normal. I no longer enjoyed alcohol. But without it I felt terrible.
Man you’ve really been a hit in the sobriety community. People were mentioning you over on Reddit in those recovery subs. Can’t say I’m surprised, you’ve really tapped into something here and I think it could really help a lot of people so keep it up my comrade!
Oh really? That's great to hear! I actually got banned from reddit for posting my own video there ages ago, so it's fantastic to hear that it's getting out there organically :D
A member of my family is so entrenched in alcoholism and it’s tearing the family apart. Thank you for all your content. It explains a lot
As the wife, daughter, and sister of alcoholics, I can say that everything you said is 100% true. Thank you for this video. My husband has over 2 years of sobriety under his belt and I sure could’ve used this video over two years ago. I hope a person who is currently where I was at over two years ago, sees this and gains something from it ❤
I hope so too. You must have faced some incredibly difficult times. You should be proud of yourself for making it through.
This channel is better than any other on this subject. Most of the others tend towards saying that they never really had a problem and they espouse the benefits of quitting. You, on the other hand, have been to the depths of hell and give us the gift of your insight. Thank you 🙏🏻
Thanks for that, it means a lot. Hope you're doing good today.
"Good job getting sober, you've done really well.....NOW can we drink?" - shoulder devil
Yeah exactly. The shoulder devil is persuasive sometimes.
Felt that ' always feeling that after a couple days
My lord, I have never heard it put so perfectly. From one alcoholic to another, I appreciate this video so much.
I'm glad it connected with you brother. Go easy.
spot on as usual. what i did find was that when i gave up some of the things i was avoiding like my grief for my parents actually dissolved with no effort. the alcohol was prolonging it decades after it should have naturally resolved itself.
Wow. This is the perfect explanation for this issue.
Im coming up on 2 years of continuous sobriety and currently having my first real string of consistent cravings. Repairing my messed up life and relationships kept me too busy to have cravings for all this time I think.
But now that things are relatively stable and I’ve gained everyone’s trust back and have money and things in order, I’m feeling the pull stronger than ever and sometimes I get caught up in blaming myself and beating myself down for feeling the craving to drink and possibly ruin it all..and I forget that I’m not NECESSARILY stupid or weak, this disease is just REAAAAAAAALLLLLLYYYY freaking good at what it does….
….even two years later.
thanks for making the content you do though sir. this stuff helps remind me of why I’m sober in the first place.
I'm glad this struck a chord with another person who has a long stint of sobriety. Because that's the point, it tkes a bit of perspective to understand just HOW GOOD this disease is at what it does to you. The odds are stacked against us as soon as we have alcohol in our systems.
Congrats on your sober time mate, and I appreciate the comment.
Congrats on the sobriety.
Keep up the good work man. For me I had to keep myself insanely busy for the first few years of sobriety. I refused to ever drink and drive, it was a line I would never cross even at the height of my alcoholism. I became an Uber driver just to stay busy at night. I usually stuck to airport trips to avoid the bar crowd. Get a 2nd job if you need to. I also couldn't go inside a store that sold alcohol at night, too much temptation.
Alcholism causes also issues over the generations. A child of an alcoholic could start drinking as they become adults to cope with a lack of emotional support from the parents. And if everyone around copes with alcohol, the road to hell is paved well. I think there is also a bigger societal drive regarding alcholism, but that doesn't take the responsibility away from a person who's suffering from it. Good videos, thanks.
Recently went to a pub and had a soft drink with family. They remarked at how fast I got a pint of lemonade down. My alcoholic brain tried to trick me with "maybe I never was an alcoholic, maybe I just drink too quickly" This despite ten years of hospitals, detox centres and holding cells.
It’s Exactly the same way with me. Take good care of you.💞
Oh wow yeah I've been struck by that thought too. I actually think I drink soft drinks fast out of anxiety. Like I need to fill my body as quickly as possible to stop alcohol from getting in. Weird. That's a real insight, thank you!
Dont go anywhere in public where alcohol is served
Two AA people sitting in Airport...one went to use toilet returned to see his buddy sitting at the bar drinking a whiskey...he had no recollection of how it had happened.
I have seen firsthand how alcohol destroys relationships. I was simply the friend of an alcoholic. For years I begged my friend to stop, I tried everything I could think of to get them to see what was happening, and what would happen if they didn't start making different decisions for themselves. My friend wavered between denying there was a problem and saying they wanted to get help to stop drinking, but they never actually sought help, despite telling me they had. As the lies they were telling me became more and more obvious, the trust was gradually eroded day by day, to the point where all trust was gone and I questioned then doubted, then outright disbelieved everything they had ever told me in the past about never drinking and driving, not drinking during the week, only drinking a certain amount etc. I remember saying to them once that it seemed as if they cared about alcohol more than anything or anyone else. They just looked at me blankly and didn't say a word. Now my friend is in hospital barely able to walk a single step. I dont phone them, and don't want to visit them, because all my caring and sympathy fell on deaf ears for so long, it was extinguished. I know that probably sounds heartless, but for my own sanity I had to detach emotionally - worrying about them was making me ill, and had no effect on them, so I simply had to stop doing it.
That's a poignant example. Emotional detachment is important. You can't force help onto us alcoholics, we have to be ready, and to want it for ourselves. Before then, no help will help. And sometimes, it's necessary to cut ties until that person is ready.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, I want to talk about this subject in more depth soon.
I was a get blackout drunk twice a week alcoholic. (I mean I still I am an alcoholic, but I’m two years sober). My issue was I’d stop for like 5 weeks so then think to myself, “oh I’m better now, I obviously don’t have a problem if I’ve gone this long without a drink. So I’ll have a few drinks tonight.” Then I’ll get blackout drunk again as I just couldn’t stop once I’d started.
Yeah, rewarding yourself for getting sober by getting drunk. I know it well. Congratulations on your sober time though mate, long may it continue.
"Alcohol is a mechanism to avoid coping with something."
That sums it up exactly for me. I was drinking as a way of running away from dealing with all my insecurities and all my mental health problems...and avoiding having to deal with being an adult with responsibilities in general, to be honest. To abdicate from reality.
Another way I use to describe my own drinking was that when things got overwhelming, it was me 'checking out' of my own brain for a while. Like just not being present, out of action. Just for a few days, until I can face checking back in to being me. Which, obviously, is ludicrous. But makes completely logical sense at the time. 🤷
Once again, thankyou for a brilliant video 😊
Thank you for watching, and for always being such a positive voice in the comments.
Wow well said that is 100% me.. I've lost a few family members over the last couple of years and when I'm drunk I drop out of normality and don't think about the grief 🫡
i was drinking last night when my girlfriend asked me to come cuddle her. I got annoyed because I didn't want to lay down, fall asleep, and waste the alcohol. i wanted to stay and keep playing my video game and enjoy the high. I begrudgingly went because i love her, but now it's the next day and i hate that i would've rather been alone and drunk. You're right, it makes you so stupid and selfish.
For me I had no idea how uncomfortable I was with myself. I had to get sober to realize how much I needed to love myself again, forgive myself and others, how anxious I was. I had to do some real work to stay stopped. It’s been 3 years. Grateful for this video and you.
I agree the hair of the dog is what started my spiral. Id crack a brew when I woke to calm the anxiety. That turned into a 6p every morning and it got worse everyday that went by
It starts small, right?
@@_BatCountry absolutely. One or two in the morning just to 'take the edge off' and suddenly it's four or five before lunchtime. Terrifying.
For me, the drive to want to quit, but the difficulty in doing so, was like an extreme form of procrastination. Quitting was always something I felt like I was on the verge of doing, but there would always be another reason to put it off for just a little bit longer. Family coming to visit? Don't want to be going through withdrawals in front of them. Christmas is coming up? It'll be easier to quit once that stress has passed. Oh no, now that Christmas is over, I just realised how difficult it will be to quit with everybody drinking on New Years Eve. I'll make my sobriety my New Year resolution!
that's what it was like with ciggies for me. extreme procrastination.
Hello. An alcoholic from Turkey. First of all I thank you man. You have no idea how your RUclips videos are enlightening and live saver. I can't describe howow i appreciate your videos. I have been sober for over a year however I am a bat countryholic now:) However I know that I am a binge drinker so the shadow 70 cl bottle of vodka will be always on the horizon. I have been struggling with alcohol use disorder and on and off to rehab center. Interestingly My spiral begun after the age of 35 when I was living in Boston for my master's degree and thing went south with the onset of Covid 19 outbreak. I started to work from home because of restrictions and dive into 6 month spiral of binge drinking period with consuming a liter of Jaggermeister. At the end of the period I went cold turkey (what a stupid move) and withdrawal kicked in. Tremors, nausea, night terrors... Next day mild symptoms mitigated and I thought I was out of the woods... I hadn't slept for 2 days.
I was watching some documentary on Netflix and all of a sudden I saw some Ying Yangish ball at the right top of the screen it begun turning and expanding and closing into my eyes and I realized that I was about the have a grand mal seizure. I open my eyes in a hospital room and they treated me with benzos. With drawal. Pure hell.
Anyways I have been seeing a psychiatrist for awhile and he comes with a different approach. We discuss being a "occasional drinker" in the long term. ( not moderate or social drinker that train is long gone). He explains being occasional drinker that instead of carrying the burden and struggling with not touching an alcohol till the end of your life you can strictly drink clearly limited occasions like new years eve, Anniversaries, or vacations. Only 4-5 times per year. What do you think about this approach? Can we be "occasional" drinkers? It can be an interesting topic for you to make a video.
Merhaba! That's in interesting background. My girlfriend spent much of her life in academia, and she tells me that alcoholism is a major, and under-discussed, problem there. I wish there were better protections for students and academic.
That ying-yang ball. That sent a chill down my arms. I haven't had a seizure, but I'e seen that. Kind of like looking into a kaleidoscope, right? It really shook me up even though I was fine.
As for occasional drinking, it's not possible for me, but I'm open-minded. I've heard some people talk about "supervised relapses" or planned relapses. If that works for people, fine. But to me, it sounds like alcoholic-brain giving us an excuse to drink again. I don't need to try it to know it won't work.
You have to but you can’t. The incessant internal battle, the mental obsession, the relief and regret.
Great video. I really like the lighting. I think people who don't understand the withdrawal process are the ones who might say, "Why don't you just quit?"
Glad you like the lighting! Feels good to get some colour back in to the videos.
And yeah, this video is kind of aimed directly at those folk. Sorry I've not been around much, I' catching up on everything now.
Same.
@@_BatCountry Not that you had me worried about your absence.
I thought the exact same about the lighting.
I suspect my best friend is close to alcoholism. He gets into really really bad bar fights, does not remember anything, just his rip turns out to be broken. I now refuse to go out with him.
After drinking, the next day, he is puking the whole time, cannot eat a single bit. Pisses and shits his pants on his way home from the bar and when he goes to bed. So sad to see his decline.
I think loneliness is what makes him turn towards alcohol. I am so grateful for my wife and her alcohol free wine and beer collection. When I see your content, I really start hating alcohol.
I'd say he's close to alcoholism all right.
A life lesson for everyone young old sober or not about alcohol.
Thank you Bat.
Thank you for watching!
Hope you do a video on the dreams that happens. The nightmares makes it too scary to even try to sleep
Hi! Yeah I'm fascinated by the dreams that come with withdrawal. I've talked about them at length in previous videos, but I'd love to do one specifically about the dreams. so stay tuned, and thanks for the comment.
When I was 20 I hated alcohol and never touched it; I wanted nothing to do with it. Now at 43, all I wish is that I could get that old me back - so much of my life has been wasted.
But so much ahead of you. Do it sober and it counts for double the time.
By the time I was in my late teens, I was already a "blackout" drinker. My thinking, to a certain extent was, "this is normal", or at the very least, "I'll grow out of this". What I didn't realize was that I was already pumping a hand cart to physical addiction.
Once that line is crossed, it is very difficult to "just stop" because the "oil level" has to be maintained. So it's physical, compounded by a mental obsession, and further compounded by the delusional belief (Lie) that by our intellect, we can overcome today what we couldn't overcome yesterday. If all of that isn't enough, and we haven't had legal problems because of drinking, or other catastrophic negative consequences, we just cinch down on the seatbelt, believing "if we're really careful, we will make this work".
Alcoholism is a progressive, and fatal condition. As we say in the fellowship, "Worse, never better". I sincerely hope that those "struggling", "fighting", or "battling" to stop drinking, will simply surrender, and start focusing on living differently. ✌❤ Mark
Very well said mate, thank you for that.
My mom died of alcoholism when I quite young, and I've found that I have come to resent her a lot in adulthood. The nihilistic selfishness of committing slow suicide in front of your kids.
But she was one of five, all fellow alcoholics. Both grandparents, alcoholics. Close friends? Alcoholics. I can only imagine pulling yourself out of the pit of stupidity and selfishness when all the other crabs in the bucket are fighting their hardest to keep you down. And further, they're all you know.
Yours is the first insight that that brings me back to empathy. Thanks for that.
That's brutal, I'm sorry you experienced that. Alcohol is like an area-of-effect attack, there's a LOT of collateral damage, right?
Just my honest opinion, I couldn't stop drinking and I like you didn't care about anyone but mostly myself...I loved and missed my family but alcohol took over my life, after tons of attempts I was finally done, 14 1/2 years later I can honestly say I haven't had the urge to drink since day one, partly because I was done ruining my life and wanted to live and partly because I lost the fear of not drinking....I'm not judging and this is just my stupid opinion, if you still have the urge even if it's just for a minute there is something that you still fear in life that causes that urge....I went thru a 9 month program and went to AA meetings for the 1st few years and it just dawned on me like an epiphany that I just didn't want to continually talk about my drinking day after day, I wanted to move on and live life without it. I still have mental issues like anxiety and depression and possibly some mental damage from how long and how much I drank and everything I lost....believe me, if I went thru a Salvation Army rehab program you know I had nothing left and nothing to lose so I had no choice but to finally do it for me not my ex wife, kids, job etc. so I finally was able to heal and think about where I went wrong and develop who I wanted to be. I lost the fear and the urge has not returned and as much as AA tell s us that it's temporary I think that's BS, I also believe that folks that need AA every day are still afraid to live and still live in their addiction and that's more dangerous than addressing what is wrong and what they fear....lose the fear, lose the urge. I'm sorry if I'm offending and I don't mean to but everyone is different and can make it. I don't let my previous alcoholism define me and no one should. I love being sober and although some won't let me forget who I was I disregard them, I am done apologizing for who I was a long time ago.
Your own mind tricking you into drinking is a brilliant description. Many keen insights
Thanks mate, I'm glad it connected with you.
13:55 I kinda see as the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde from The league of extraordinary gentlemen movie
I really like the way you phrase things, it gives me a clearer perspective than I had in a long while. I have often wondered what the world would be like without alcohol. Would humankind then just find something else to use to try to shield them from their problems and at the same time create new ones? And if so, what? Perhaps they may just gravitate to one of many of the other addictions that humans currently indulge in. Overeating is a big one. Cigarette smoking another.
It amazes me that I could exist with a blood/alcohol of 0.24 or higher 24/7 for many, many months
Fell off the wagon on day 154 yesterday. Went about as awfully as expected. I watched myself drink until I blacked out and then the blackout brigade took over. On the upside, I reminded myself why I must not drink. Peace and love to one and to all and big thanks for the vids :) x
Don't see it as falling off the wagon. See it as a damned good effort and keep trying.
One mistake does not undo the progress you have made - you are doing far better than I have managed. Keep progressing, and - if you don’t mind me saying - the Lord bless you and keep you.
Thankyou for your channel. You put a lot of effort and thought into content and message.. I look forward to you posting! And the booze… yep… it’s a killer.. I’m in recent recovery… coming up to one month… I’ve painted the whole inside of the house! Keeping my mind, body busy is imperative in the “early” stage of recovery. Thanks so much again! I’ve had enough of being stupid! Thanks again Stu. 🎉❤
Thanks for watching Kirsten, and congrats on a month! That's a huge threshold, be proud, but also be vigilant.
You painted the whole house, huh? Wow that's dedication.
I’ve stumbled across this video because I have genuinely wondered why people don’t just choose to drink less. I’ve only recently felt this way because I’m surrounded by people that drink way too much and without trying to sound rude it’s just annoying to be around and have everything revolve around drinking. It has come to the point where I see what other people are doing and I know that’s exactly how I don’t want to end up. I’m okay with occasional social drinking but there’s a time and a place for everything. Alcohol can be an easy solution to blow off responsibilities and that’s just the start. It may be something as simple and not mowing the lawn and then it can get worse from there. Either way thanks for making this video, it gives me a better understanding of what someone could be going through and why it’s not so simple. From my naive perspective I say just don’t drink as much but clearly it’s not that simple. Maybe people could transfer their time from drinking to fitness?
Well done vid. I'm sober 3 years. I drank like you did. Quitting was sooo hard.
Great video as always, Bat Country! To your point about cordyceps, I would literally put myself in places where relapses were more likely to occur. I would go to bars on dates. I would go to office happy hours. I would buy cigars from liquore stores. An alcoholic in his right mind would not be in any of those places, but alcoholism's disinhibitory effects make it seem perfectly reasonable. When I think of the sinister intelligence of my alcoholism, I remember the vivid horrors and hallucinations of delirium tremens. Knowing, from experience, that my alcoholic imagination has potentially unlimited creative influence over my perception makes it very easy for me to understand why so many people are disinhibited in their choice to drink again. It is a powerful force that takes true resilience to resist long-term-- much respect to you and all of those who have some time.
Was it you who mentioned cordyceps in a previous comment? I wanted to give credit, but I couldn't find the comment.
It was! In your last video, about the leadup to a relapse. I'm glad that the concept got some air time on your channel! I'm certain that alcoholism is an evil parasite but it sure behaves that way!
Fab insights, Stuart. Uncomfortable truths galore. Confronting but necessary. Thanks, bud.
Thanks mate!
Can anyone else appreciate the similarities between the movie The Exorcist, and the experience of full on detox? Especially the puking. To me being a drunk made me wonder if I were possessed by an evil spirit that was hell bent on owning my soul. Many know how hard it was to finally free ourselves from such a debilitating disease. The point is that addiction is simply a terrible trap, and I can't figure out who, or what may be behind it. The devil? I don't know. I'm left with these two questions. Is addiction evil? Or is evil addictive?
My brother, your content and your honest sharing of your experiences are really, really helpful - I really appreciate the work you are doing! Thank you so so much for putting in your time. I am currently struggling a bit to end a 4-month relapse, and going through a bit of personal hell, so having a channel like yours is helping me a lot ❤
He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.
Coping doesn't necessarily mean successfully dealing with an issue. Psychologically speaking, drugs are a dysfunctional coping mechanism. They absolutely do work, only not in a functional, positive way.
Yeah, that's an nuanced point. Thank you!
@@_BatCountry Thank you, too. I've had a very problematic drinking pattern these last few years and your stories have helped me finally accept that. I really rather listen to you than be able to retell those experiences from personal memory.
Great video as always Bat.. Thx!
Thanks for watching mate!
Can I just say your channel name is absolutely perfect. It’s like the first chapter in Hunter Thompsons Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas where the dude and his lawyer are driving down the highway while super high on mescaline and they enter bat country where the hallucinations blend with reality and shit gets weird. Then they pick up a hitchhiking Peter Parker.
Which is what alcoholism is like, looking into and then going into the void of darkness or craziness or bat country
Exactly - that's why I chose it. I hallucinated bats too.
Thank God, the obsession was lifted for me on 4/15/2020
Congrats! 7/14/15 for me
I LOVE!!! your videos. You said that you are only speaking yourself. Well your speaking for me too. I have struggling with my addiction for the past few years. In these I have put in months at a time being sober. Honestly I can not tell you one time when my craving were not psychological. Thank you for trying to explain this to people who don't live with addiction.
Thanks for the comment Lyle! I'm glad it connected with you, and I hope you're doing well today
@@_BatCountry I'm okay, I'm sober yet facing a lot of depression issues at the moment.
Your articulation is truly masterful
Thank you!
You Nailed it when you said it is phsychoactive. I don't think many people really understand what that means. For days afterwards your brain isn't working the same as a sober person, that is why it is so easy to convince yourself "just one drink". is a good idea. "I"ll just have one or two to take the edge off then I'll be able to focus on quitting and fixing my life. THEN you have 2 drinks and a third sounds like a fantastic idea, then 10 more etc etc.
I also agree that the morning hair of the dog is when the real darkness begins. That is when I rapidly when from very heavy functioning alcoholic to completely off the rails drunk 24/7. You don't typically function for very long when you hit that level. Great video as always my friend.
Thanks you for watching Knight. And yeah, I wish I'd made the point a bit clearer: "your brain isn't working the same as a sober person." That sums up in a sentence what it took me 10 minutes to try to explain!
Both the virus and cordyceps zombie analogy is spot on. It reminds me of the expression, "I have a monkey on my back". And that monkey is alcohol always whispering in your ear.
Whispering... in your own voice. It's chilling.
@@_BatCountry "I'm the monkey in charge of bananas"
This was really helpful to me. I became interested by this channel because of my own problem drinking, but this helps me to understand my Dad better. He really went through intense alcoholism with rehab, losing his job and driving license and so on, but still convinced himself he could start drinking wine openly again at home at one time. He'd often have cheeky drinks when we had guests over and it would have been socially more awkward for us to make a big fuss.
When it comes to, "when does alcohol become a problem", a psychiatrist put it in a way i felt was really useful. "When it makes you feel normal. Not happy, ecstatic, joyful, but what you truly to your core believe is baseline normal. That is the barbed hook of addiction." (I actually said most of that, but it is usually more credible when you attribute it to someone else🙃)
A dear guy friend of mine is going through this process right at the same time as me, and we have been supporting each other. We yalked for a few hours this evening and of course kvetched about all the things we failed at, but that was maybe fifteen minutes out of two hours. The vaaast majority was about How Are We, and How Are We improving. Talked strategy. Past and future. What we were thankful for.
And at no time (this is most important part number one) was there shame, guilt, or anger. Remorse? Sure. Complex emotional trauma? Absolutely. A laser focus on what we Know In Our Bones is What Brings and Enforces Meaning? Hell yeah.
He has his plan, i have mine. I am gonna start sending him your videos, Mr. Bat. He absolutely will enjoy them, for the right reasons. Cheers m8
Hey J! That's a pretty good definition, your psychiatrist (you) must be very wise.
I like your strategy too - I didn't do it on purpose, but sobriety brought with a constant search for Meaning, and I'e found that to be really rewarding. It's a good, albeit ultimately unachievable, goal.
I always enjoy your comments mate, thanks for swinging by.
Ah, that fungus. I've seen photos of it fruiting out of ants. It is like something out of a dark, twisted dimension. (I love your thoughts on alcoholism, 80-90% rings so true it feels like yer reading my pickled brain). The implications that fungus poses is nothing short of mind bending. On the one hand, something like a drug binding to a receptor to induce a certain action in certain neurons is one thing. A pathogen that, through a mechanism makes the host do certain things it wouldn't normally do through, what phrasing should I even use, Newtonian style rules is another.
But a living creature from a different Kingdom driving the *intent* of another is a whole 'nother cheeseburger my friend.
Aliens aren't gonna kill us, AI aren't gonna kill us, nukes aren't gonna kill us. No, not them.
A cheese pizza with extra mushrooms served from a hipster brick oven in the heart of Brooklyn are **going to kill us all!!* (Somebody get me Michael Bay)
Yer a swell dude as well, thanks for putting up with me 😊
Thanks for the lighthearted content, yipee
13:08 story reminds me a lot of the Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis which I would highly recommend (Though it is religious, I would say it is no less applicable to the humanist or non-believer)
I'm not familiar with it, but anything written by CS Lewis and dedicated to Tolkien is worth reading. I'll grab a copy, thanks for the excellent recommendation.
Great channel mate, really helping my recovery
Thank you Kaiser, I'm glad it's connecting with you, and good luck in your recovery.
Love your videos.... they really help me on my sobriety journey.Keep up what you're doing!
Of all the RUclipsrs, podcasters, authors etc; I have never stumbled across one that hits home for me or any that I can properly relate to but you've changed that for me. And that's only after watching two of your videos so far. Listening to you talk about the way you do about everything is honestly so eye opening. The way you described your brains psychology in a way that it tried to trick you to get you to drink by using any excuse possible in order to numb pain, trauma, PTSD etc. Rather than dealing with problems as you said is much harder to do than continue to drink.
Awesome work you're doing here thank you.
AWESOME video as per usual, Oh no I am becoming a creepy superfan-Boy ! :)
Thanks so much for your positivity mate, I appreciate it!
Making the comparisons I thought: I should tell him about the cordyceps fungus! And right then you already started talking about it lol.. I never thought about it that way. In fact you manage to put so many thoughts and feelings I (and prolly many people) have into comprehensive sentences that things are becoming clearer. So thank you for that. I'm currently visualizing the alcoholism as an evil cordyceps that's trying to lure me to a liquor store.
The hard part you mentioned, being selfish and a coward, I can sorta relate to. I've always been a loner, it's difficult for me to deal with people. And I know that's one hell of a risk factor to begin with. Or as I've often heard/read from recovering people: building real connections and take on responsibilities and contribute to society can be a foundation of staying sober. But I don't want to do any of that, and I'm trying to figure out how much of that is my personality vs the longer term effect of alcohol, (or just getting older, even..). Either way, I need to find things that work for me.
Your videos are so good and so well done and comforting it makes wanna drink. The lighting and the music in the background makes my brain think I could be having a nice glass of wine in front of the fireplace and listening to the music and reading a book. But in reality I'd probably set the house on fire and blast some crazy ass music and soon I'd have the police and paramedics in my house. What an illusion. I'm on day 10 today it sucks.
Thanks Stu. Some great insights in here especially towards the end.
Booze really is a wily SOB. The fact that’s it’s the state sponsored, taxed and legitimate drug of choice enables the justification too. I can remember lots of firmly held entitlement that because others were boozing, it meant I should be allowed to as well. The shame is entirely private…which can magnify it of course, but does mean it’s easier to compartmentalise.
Thank you Giles.
I have a question for you: do you think it's healthy to 'miss' certain parts of drinking?
@@_BatCountry That’s an interesting question. In one sense it’s very hard not to miss something that you once loved, and loved for many years. It’s a part of our history and let’s be honest, it begins as something hugely enjoyable.
So I think of booze as the other woman… the unreliable girlfriend. I don’t take her calls. I’m not going to meet up. This time it won’t be different. But do I think about her ? Sure. We had some fun, but it’s over now.
Doesn’t help that I’m a nostalgic fool and I romanticise peak experiences. I guess that is common too.
Short answer, no it’s not unhealthy per se. To call it unhealthy feels like a route to self shame and we know what triggers.
As long as you can play the tape forward. And this is where you are self evidently strong and indeed where you are helping us. If anyone’s in any doubt where it ultimately ends up they can always take a day trip to Bat Country.
Question from me - Do you feel slightly shameful about missing it or are you concerned it’s providing evidence you will never be entirely free?
Exvellent video, helps me undetstand my fathers alcoholism and why I feel he mostly seems disconnected or doesnt care about me.
I know this is a bit random off topic but I also live here in Pattaya, Thailand, where I estimate, without exaggeration, the proportion of alcoholics among the expat community to be at least 75%. Every other day, we have "jumpers"......expats who have had enough of life and will jump off their balconies in the high-rise condominium towers. Alcohol is involved in nearly every case a Thai medic once told me. They have specialist crews who go around recovering the bodies.
That's so interesting, you're not the only expat who has mentioned the alcoholic culture in Thailand. I've thought seriously about relocating there from time to time, I'm glad I didn't do it before I got sober or I can imagine how it might have ended for me too.
What do you think is causing it? Because I've seen a similar pattern of Western expats in Seoul, and in Shanghai, where I lived.
"Whatcha readin' for?" "Looks like we've got ourselves a reada!" ~ Bill Hicks
hahahahahhahaa well I'm reading so I don't become a fuckin waffle waitress
i was diagnosed with anxiety and put on paxil prior to becoming an alcoholic i too found great relief in alcohol and for years it worked well but it turns on you and destroys you its a wonderful servant but a cruel master i think one reasons well if there is nothing wrong taking a pill to cope why not a liquid also there is interesting information on antidepressants and alcohol cravings it actually a thing
Man, the way you word your presentations just draws expertly on my own experiences, it’s uncanny! I’ve been loving these videos, they’re great inspiration and they’ve helped me understand some of my failures as well
I've been sober for 4 years now by the grace of God
I lost so many People due to Alcohol
Just the thought of it makes me sick
I drink weed tea every night In alright now
God Bless 🙏
Congratulations on your sober time, long may it continue!
As an alcoholic, I would like to throw this into the mix. My mother's father, my mother and my sister were all alcoholics too. My father and other sister are 'normal'. I didn't find out about them until I was in recovery. Genetics plays a part in all this as well.
glad you’re back! I really appreciate you!
Thanks mate, back at ya!
Another excellent video brother! Loving the format
Thank you mate, hope you're doing good today!
Here in Vancouver barely able to type this message. Heading for my second rehab tomorrow and just wanted to reach out to the sober community and yourself specifically. Enjoy the Mediterranean
Really well said. You would be a great addiction therapist.
Thank you, I have been listening to your videos for the majority of the day. I use addiction to escape who I really am, too scared to face it and all I have been through. Your videos really help, I can't express how much I appreciate them. I find aggression in any form extremely difficult to listen too, your voice, composure and kindness is the very opposite of that. So thank you Stuart, I am so very glad and fortunate to find your channel.
I've been sober for 80 days. I was a big binge drinker on the weekends. 3-4 bottles of wine friday evening and just drink non-stop until sunday evening. Back to work monday morning. What do I do now? Take up a hobby or something? I feel like I've turned a way a soulmate/best friend or love of my life girlfriend. It feels strange. Physically and don't have any cravings. Psychologically I think I'm doing ok too, the only thing making me want to drink again is asking myself, what is the benefit of being sober? Yes, i am healthier, lost weight, better skin, more energy but I am not happier, yet anyways
Be patient mate, you've already done the hard part. That feeling that you're not happier sober actually IS a kind of craving in disguise: it's alcoholism trying to persuade you to drink again. Whispering in your ear. "What's the point? You've wrecked everything, you may as well enjoy yourself." It's all bullshit, and it will subside in time. Took ages for me. In the meantime, fill the empty time with exercise, and start a youtube channel.
@@_BatCountry Craving in disguise, never thought of that, thanks for the response and words, keep up the great work
I'lll leave the youtube channels to you, you're far more eloquent!
this is my favorite youtube channel of all time. i look forward to your videos and whens theres a new one it makes my week. thank you!
Thank you so much! That's so good to hear :)
*_"We can't stop here! This is..."_*
Don't tell him about the bats. He'll see them soon enough.
I didn’t want to keep drinking
But in order to stop drinking I really needed drink 😅
I needed a drink in order to get ready to quit drinking.
I hid in the bottle to avoid financial stress and stressful work. Ironically, when I started drinking from morning to night, I was rich. The longer I stayed in the bottle, the worse off I got. I woke up and had "just one", drank until I passed out, and then woke up and did it again. For 5 years.... When I quit, I had a mountain of financial problems to fix.
If you drink because of a problem, congratulations, now you got TWO problems. I think I heard Steve-O say that, and it stuck with me. I hope life has improved for you, and that your new circumstances are satisfactory.
@@_BatCountry As my dad always said, Life is a bitch and then you die, lol. But in all honesty, any life sober beats and life as a drunk. It will take me a few months to fix the chaos from my latest foray/relapse, but I feel confident and happy when I don't have poison making life feel pointless and not worth trying to fix.
Such agreat video. Especially what you said about AA. Sometimesi think it can act almost like an excuse to drink. The alcoholic logic you mention. Brilliant video
Hi Stu, May I congratulate you on an amazing channel. The drinking thinking thing Is definitely a thing that is created in the brain. It's as if neuro passages are created over time. It took me 3 years to realise this was the case. For me, it was the fear of never drinking again that I just couldn't get my head around. I was taught a trick that really worked for me .... that trick is to give yourself 1 month without drinking then after a month, list all the positives and negatives of being sober ... if the postives outweigh the negatives, give yourself another month of not drinking ..... then after 2 months, do the same .... this way, there is always an option ..... after 6 months, my drinking thinking had subsided ... as if the neuro process had changed .... my sober thinking was becoming the norm ... until I just didn't think about the positive and negatives .... I'm nearly 8 years sober ....
Thumbs Up 👍 and shared out.❤
Thank you as always!
@@_BatCountry You are very welcome!
i don't think I'm an alcoholic but I've been binge drinking for about a week every month or so and i can never stop until i run out. i need to keep myself from doing it again and right now I'm at the brink of going to the store again. i related so much to this. if i had a constant supply of alcohol i would definitely fall back into it. the main thing keeping me from doing it is social anxiety funnily enough.
i tell myself I'll just drink a bottle of vodka max, but then I pass out, wake up, realize I'm not drunk anymore so i drink again right when i wake up and keep doing that until i run out. last time this happened, about two weeks ago, i got to a point where i just felt normal and if i didn't keep drinking every half an hour or so i would get really sad and feel guilty.
i want that floaty feeling again really bad right now. i just want to pass out and shut my brain up.
👏another excellent video man.
Thank you Slayer. Truly hope you're doing good today.
Thank you for these insights. I have an abusive alcoholic in my family. Though I am not yet prepared to forgive at least I'm starting to understand.
Forgiveness is good, but it's not necessary. I'm lucky to have been given so many second chances, but I also know that if everyone had cut ties with me, I'd have understood.
It was only in the first few weeks that I actually wanted to drink. For the rest of my addiction I did NOT want to drink, but I had to force myself to drink in order to not suffer from withdrawal and to not feel the reality that I wanted to escape from. I wanted to quit more than anything else but it just wasn't possible. I guess most addicts don't want to drink, they just have to. There's a devil sitting on your shoulder constantly, and he's constantly, and he's trying to convince you that you'll only have one drink and that you'll quit next week. It's so awful. Anyone actively struggling with alcoholism, get yourself professional help, I promise you will not regret it! ♥️
This is a very nuanced point, very well explained. I'm pretty sure I've told you in the past that you should have a youtube channel and be saying this stuff to a bigger audience.
@@_BatCountry I agree. I'd like to see more creators within our "circle," if you will.
"Professional help" isn't for everyone. I tried many professional avenues, to no avail.
In the end I managed it by myself, and if anything, engaging with certain services and resources actually made me want to drink more.
I am so grateful to have found your channel.
I'm grateful too. welcome.
Thanks for the new vid!
Thanks for watching!
20:27 perfect analogy
Really enjoying your channel, thank you (and I love the background music). I would like to know what posses people to neck neat spirits? Surely you'd crave a cold beer or a nice glass of wine?
The way we drink has nothing to do with drinking, it's about oblivion I think. It's more like hitting yourself on the head with hammer than it is actually drinking. We don't do it for the taste. This is a good question mate, thank you.
@@_BatCountry Thank you, and keep up the great content :)
to paraphrase, Pascal:
"the heart has reasons,
that reason does not understand."
the addictive mind is so clever at lying, scheming, manipulating the addict, & has been a known ruthless serial killer for as long as yeast has been fermenting..
That was very powerful, and I always welcome a Pascal quote in the discourse!
@@_BatCountry
on a similar note, this Shopenhauer quote:
(tacked it on my ceiling)
"man can do what he wills,
but he cannot will what he wills."
for me is reminder to pray for guidance!
I'm happy I found your channel brother
I'm happy you found it too mate. Thanks for your comments.
Very articulate and wise as usual. Thank you for helping me and thousands of others sir. ❤️
Thank you!
Thanks for watching!
thank you. so scary but worth learning about
Thanks for watching!
i feel so comfortable in this channel.
Lol on the joke! Bless you young man!
Glad you liked it!
Great joke! I relate to all of this. I have had several "urges" lately. I callbthem lifestyle triggers because they werent physical cravings. One happened when I was going to go get breakfast. My brain briefly told me that I could have a couple screwdrivers and it would be fine. I didn't go to breakfast. The first beer i would have in the morning i would call my maintenance beer. "Cunning, baffling, powerful." Great stuff as always my friend. Glad to hear you bit a meeting. I wasn't able to go to a meeting for a few days due to a hurricane and power outages and boy did it feel not right. Anyways. Thanks for the content. ODAAT!
You'd have liked this meeting mate. I live in the car capital of the UK, near Coventry. Aston Martin, Jaguar, Land Rover, JCB, they're all here, and everyone in the meeting works in the motor trade. And what you call Triple A in the US, we call AA in the UK, so I with all the car talk I thought maybe I'd gone to the wrong kind of AA meeting.
ODAAT brother.
@_BatCountry that's awesome. Visiting the UK is definitely on my bucket list. I'd be interested to see how AA is done there as meeting formats vary widely from region to region even in the states.
I've seen severe alcoholics withdraw from alcohol successfully thanks to benzos. Of course, that is no long time solutuon, but it really helps you through the worst of withdrawal and avoid dts. Tapering with alcohol might work as well, but that's really difficult. Especially coming from the depths of a terrible bender.
You directly spoken to me I get tricked also to drink after work don't get me wrong the excitement is good but yes definitely getting tricked to make excuses up to drink
I appreciate your comments recently, here an on Instagram mate. Thank you.
@_BatCountry definitely dude you deserve good comments