Thanks for this. Sometimes its difficult to remember they arent doing this to hurt you but to protect themselves. People who are in relationships with FA cannot be APs essentially. In situations with FA/AP dynamics... love isn't enough.
This is a completely valid thing for our partner to do. Without knowing too much about your situation, it is hard to say what exactly is going on. It’s possible that not enough time has passed for your partner to notice the space, or they could just choose to not care. Remember our partner has the freedoms to react to situations as they please, and it’s not our job to control their response. There’s a book called “‘the courage to be disliked” by Ichiro Kishmi that I would recommend you read or listen too ( I believe there’s an audible versions here on RUclips) . Take this time to heal yourself and meet your own needs, everything will work itself out for the better. Your job is to remain open, and maintains a healthy co-dependent relationship. Sending you so much Love ❤️ I’m rooting for you!
So basically ignore my own needs, enable the avoudant to continue their bad behavior and place all the emotional labor on me while the avoidant does nothing to contribute to the relationship. Thanks....no thanks.
No don’t ignore your own needs, learn to be self sufficient aka being “Securely Attached”. I know it’s hard to hear but Your partner is under no obligation to make you happy or adjust their personality to meet your expectations. If you just cannot accept that & don’t wish to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t compatible for you, it’s ok to end the relationship, my friend. Just be sure that you won’t regret that decision in the future, & a good thing to note for future relationships is to look for a partner who either has an anxious attachment style or a secure one.. you can read all about adult attachment styles from the book “Attached “ by Amir Levine. May you find Love & Happiness in your Romantic relationship friend ❤️ Happy Holidays!
@xoellielily Granted. But you do understand that the "attatchment style " in question (Dismissive Avoidants) is not a healthy life style right, and it sure is not how healthy human beings interact with eachother. So instead of making a video on how to tip toe around this toxic group of people (because that's exactly what it is) how about you make a follow up video on how all DA/FA's can heal their core wounds to be able to navigate healthy relationships instead of putting all of the emotional burden on the norm. I understand your trying to come from a good place but your suggestions are ill-advised. You have no clue of the pain and destruction that this attatchment style has caused....most of us have lost everything behind this narcissistic behavior and that's exactly what it is.
@@konvict451 I empathize with you, you’re clearly hurt by the person in your life and that is tough to go through. Avoidance is a defense mechanism that was learned in early childhood to protect themselves from hurt and that is all that the Avoidant person knows to do. My intention with this video was to help those people that are in a relationship with someone like that to understand that they really can’t control their partners behavior and the best they can do is to stop allowing it to wound them, causing them to spiral negatively and be hurting constantly. My other intention is to allow those that have a partner as such to realize they are also making a choice by allowing another human to dictate how their life gets to feel which isn’t healthy. The world can’t be perfect, and people aren’t either but we can determine how we respond and perceive the situations that occur and therefor shape our reality, relationships included. Also, great suggestion for future videos 👍 thank you!
That doesn’t have to be your ultimate truth. It may be uncomfortable because the avoidance is not something you want to receive from your partner. The truth of all truths is that you are uncomfortable and you may not like how it feels to be in that spot but it is up to you now to decide whether you are willing to allow the circumstance to be uncomfortable and learn how to interact with your partner to get the outcome you desire OR if it’s just not worth it for you, and you’re ready to call it quits. There is no right or wrong answer it is simply what you decide. Wish you all the happiness in your relationship ❤️🫶🏼
bro im telling you my phone is fucking listening to me talk. how am I getting recommended a video with 500 views from a channel I've never watched before on a topic that is EXACTLY like the situationship that I'm in right now. Mind you I've NEVER looked anything up on how to deal with this either. I'm watching you google.... Thanks for the recommendation though....
Thanks for this. Sometimes its difficult to remember they arent doing this to hurt you but to protect themselves. People who are in relationships with FA cannot be APs essentially. In situations with FA/AP dynamics... love isn't enough.
Yes I agree with you! Especially when we start thinking with our emotional brain 💕 wish you lots of happiness in your romantic relationship
What should one do if they've given their partner space, but they've chosen to do nothing with it/nothing has changed?
This is a completely valid thing for our partner to do. Without knowing too much about your situation, it is hard to say what exactly is going on. It’s possible that not enough time has passed for your partner to notice the space, or they could just choose to not care. Remember our partner has the freedoms to react to situations as they please, and it’s not our job to control their response. There’s a book called “‘the courage to be disliked” by Ichiro Kishmi that I would recommend you read or listen too ( I believe there’s an audible versions here on RUclips) . Take this time to heal yourself and meet your own needs, everything will work itself out for the better. Your job is to remain open, and maintains a healthy co-dependent relationship. Sending you so much Love ❤️ I’m rooting for you!
Very good video and the best content🥰
Thank you! I appreciate the compliment
@@xoellielily welcome ❤️🥰
So basically ignore my own needs, enable the avoudant to continue their bad behavior and place all the emotional labor on me while the avoidant does nothing to contribute to the relationship. Thanks....no thanks.
No don’t ignore your own needs, learn to be self sufficient aka being “Securely Attached”. I know it’s hard to hear but Your partner is under no obligation to make you happy or adjust their personality to meet your expectations. If you just cannot accept that & don’t wish to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t compatible for you, it’s ok to end the relationship, my friend. Just be sure that you won’t regret that decision in the future, & a good thing to note for future relationships is to look for a partner who either has an anxious attachment style or a secure one.. you can read all about adult attachment styles from the book “Attached “ by Amir Levine. May you find Love & Happiness in your Romantic relationship friend ❤️ Happy Holidays!
@xoellielily Granted. But you do understand that the "attatchment style " in question (Dismissive Avoidants) is not a healthy life style right, and it sure is not how healthy human beings interact with eachother. So instead of making a video on how to tip toe around this toxic group of people (because that's exactly what it is) how about you make a follow up video on how all DA/FA's can heal their core wounds to be able to navigate healthy relationships instead of putting all of the emotional burden on the norm. I understand your trying to come from a good place but your suggestions are ill-advised. You have no clue of the pain and destruction that this attatchment style has caused....most of us have lost everything behind this narcissistic behavior and that's exactly what it is.
@@konvict451 I empathize with you, you’re clearly hurt by the person in your life and that is tough to go through. Avoidance is a defense mechanism that was learned in early childhood to protect themselves from hurt and that is all that the Avoidant person knows to do. My intention with this video was to help those people that are in a relationship with someone like that to understand that they really can’t control their partners behavior and the best they can do is to stop allowing it to wound them, causing them to spiral negatively and be hurting constantly. My other intention is to allow those that have a partner as such to realize they are also making a choice by allowing another human to dictate how their life gets to feel which isn’t healthy. The world can’t be perfect, and people aren’t either but we can determine how we respond and perceive the situations that occur and therefor shape our reality, relationships included. Also, great suggestion for future videos 👍 thank you!
You are right! You said it perfectly.💯
@@Sheherhis thank you ❤️
Truth is you are walking on eggshells with avoidant people.
That doesn’t have to be your ultimate truth. It may be uncomfortable because the avoidance is not something you want to receive from your partner. The truth of all truths is that you are uncomfortable and you may not like how it feels to be in that spot but it is up to you now to decide whether you are willing to allow the circumstance to be uncomfortable and learn how to interact with your partner to get the outcome you desire OR if it’s just not worth it for you, and you’re ready to call it quits. There is no right or wrong answer it is simply what you decide. Wish you all the happiness in your relationship ❤️🫶🏼
bro im telling you my phone is fucking listening to me talk. how am I getting recommended a video with 500 views from a channel I've never watched before on a topic that is EXACTLY like the situationship that I'm in right now. Mind you I've NEVER looked anything up on how to deal with this either. I'm watching you google.... Thanks for the recommendation though....
You’re welcome, Merry Christmas 🎄🎁
@@xoellielily I'll agree with you on this: It requires great self-security to deal with this behavior which I realized I don't have... yet.
@gregorysheridan2015 then your best bet is to be in a relationship with the same attachment style or someone who is securely attached.
Best way to deal with an avoidant partner...don't date them...and definitely don't marry them. Not worth it.
This only applies to Anxious attachment styles my friends. Wishing you love and happiness, Merry Christmas!
@@xoellielily Nah...they can actually attach and they don't play hot and cold.