I guess our hospice nurse didn't know the towel method, and instead apologized to my mom for not being able to keep Grandma's mouth shut. My mom was like, "Well, none of us could."
That feeling when, after reading and re-reading the story over and over again for decades, you suddenly learn why Jacob Marley had a wrapping keeping his jaw shut when his spirit visited Scrooge
You've basically summed up working in a funeral home in that sentence. I'm currently in training and the first time I saw someone's mouth being sawn up (when I was told I was like "eeeeew". My brain had mixed feelings of "wow, that's like some very twisted talent" and "oooooh, look at that!".
My mom just passed away this week. She didn't want strangers preparing her so my husband and I and my step mom did it. Hospice was shocked that we weren't allowing a funeral home to prepare her body. We used the towel method and also ended up having to tie around her head. Although it's so hard losing my Mom, it was an honor taking care of her after she passed.
I agree - my mother died at home, and my sister and I washed her body and put on a pretty nightie for her last sleep. It's a wonderful closure and we can give gratitude to the body that brought us into the world. A few years earlier, one of my dear friends died and all of us (husband, coven members, friends) bade her farewell by washing her, doing her makeup, dressing her in beautiful clothing and robes and sent her off like the witch she was. Hecate was glad to see her. I was prepared for the process when it was my mother's time.
@@floatinglotuswomenswellness I want to go that way too, except I am a solitary. My best friend and magickal working partner lives elsewhere - I've let them know my wishes but it might depend on how quickly they can come... And how much my family wants to interfere 😔
This is kinda morbid, but a funny memory from my grandmother's funeral was my dad and his nine siblings confused as to why their mother looked so...different. They realized it was her jaw, so they asked the funeral director who told them he couldn't find her teeth so had put one of those spacers in. Apparently no one had told him that she had had most of her teeth removed by her 40s and had never worn dentures, so that's why she looked so unnatural. I chuckle every time I think about my dad going "does... does she have teeth?" Much needed moment of levity.
@@Vinya One of my brothers is the same - had all his teeth removed young. He went to visit my parents once with dentures and they didn't recognize him! - he's gummed it ever since.
I know this video is five years old, but I wanted to comment and say that I was able to use the "rolled-up towel method" for a recently-deceased patient in the hospital where I'm in a chaplaincy internship! The wife was very distressed by her husband's eyes and mouth being open and slack, so the nurse laid him back and closed his eyes, and while we couldn't get his mouth all the way shut we were able to prop up his jaw a bit with the towel and have him look more like he was asleep with his mouth open. It made the sight of him a little less eerie. Thank you for sharing this knowledge!
Wow When my Dad died he was young only 52- he had cancer and he went to hospice - like the very last day (hospice nurses know EXACTLY when it’s going to be time and he was a stubborn Italian :)- so we were there barely a day and when he died he took this deep breath IN and then his mouth was just still open like he was going to say “OOHH” always to me like a hole. Now hearing this I am realizing he didn’t have his teeth in and his jaw opened. I just always wondered about his big breath in and not out. Thank you to everyone who takes care of our loved ones🥰
I am a retired geriatric nurse, I’ve been there when a lot of people have taken their last breath, but it was one of my patients that taught me the towel method, she was an old school nurses aide, from Columbia. And it was her roommate that passed away that night, so I woke her up and told her about her roommate passing, she got up, took one look and got 2 towels off the linen cart and put one behind her neck, and the other under her chin, I asked her why, and she explained why and that mostly it was for when her family comes. I had to tell her that her family wasn’t coming. So she cussed about that for a minute, collected her thoughts and started praying for her roommate.
I saw my mother's body just a few hours after she died her mouth was closed but her eyes were open her eyes still dark brown she look the same just cold I kissed her and told her she was a great mother. And I love her
I have lost my mother too, last spring. I was with her until the end. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was still open with the oxygen mask on her face. That's why I clicked mindlessly on this video. May Hashem take care of her. Best regards.
@@amangcaya4468 it will take time but you will get "used" to not having her around and as the years pass by it hurts less and less. Until you can remember her without tears in your eyes
I’m a paramedic and when I first had to leave people who have passed away with family, it used to stress me out that I couldn’t keep their mouthes closed. I’m relieved that tying a piece of cloth around the head is an actual method used... my colleagues think I’m mad for doing it; you’ve reassured me I’m not mad by doing it *phew*
Our 18yr old daughter is a CNA at a nursing home and washed her first body today. She didn't know eyes will open back up. I'm sharing these videos with her so she will be more prepared. Thank you!
Not the same but the first time I had a cat euthanised the vet told me you can't close a cat's eyes, they don't have eyelids like we do. And often they cough just after they die, my third cat I said to the vet it makes you jump the first time, she said it still makes you jump the 5000th time! Once you know it's fine, it's the surprises that are freaky.
I worked as a CNA for years and cleaning and prepping the body for the family or mortuary was a job I did a lot. I worked on a long term care wing, and one of the things I would always tell new CNA's was that the people on this wing never leave standing up. They either leave in an ambulance and die at the hospital or they die here and will be leaving with he mortuary workers. because I had so much experience in this aspect of the job, I would assist on other wings when deaths occur there. I also had to educate new CNA's and families about the eyes and the mouths. I had an old LPN tell me about the towels. We would then tuck the sheet up past the towels . Please let your daughter know that she should always leave the head of the bed slightly up also, just a couple inches because sometimes dead bodies drool/foam.
I'm currently training to be a CNA, they haven't talked about postmortem care at all, so I should start taking notes. Postmortem care is incredibly important.
@@bethbesse5485 My very first shift off of training at the long term facility I worked at, with in 5 minutes of clocking in, I was doing my first post mortem care, prepping a man to look nice for his family to come say their good byes. I wish I'd of had a teacher like you! Luckily there was also a hospice nurse with the gentleman, and we were able to work together.
When I die, I want to look dead. I want a Jacob Marley scarf and pennies on the eyes and maybe a plate of bread/salt on the chest that mourners could consume because I'm all about the audience participation.
Dude I have so much respect for morticians and coroners and the doctors who perform autopsies. I’m sure you get used to seeing and working with deceased bodies but that can’t be an easy job so thank you.
My Dad passed away last night in bed and his mouth was completely open just like you showed. I tried to close it but it wouldn't stay. I found this video oddly comforting. Glad to hear that funeral practices are changing and you take a more natural approach these days. I never understood the whole casket thing. When I die, if I'm buried, I want my body just placed in the ground without anything around me so nature can do its thing.
I think one of the most traumatizing aspects of seeing my mother's body within moments of her passing (cancer, but also unexpected) was that her mouth was open and her face just went slack. It was so obvious that LIFE had departed her. I can never forget that look. It's one of the reasons I'm so grateful for your approach to death and education now. As someone who WAS traumatized by seeing a dead body, I know how vital your work is.
Laura P. This is how I saw my grandmother as well. We were able to view her body shortly after she passed at the hospital. I wasn’t expecting to see her mouth open. It’s definitely traumatizing.
I was with my stepdad holding his hand letting him know that it was ok to go and be out of his pain, when he passed of cancer. The craziest thing I've EVER experienced in my lifetime was a minute or 2 before his passing, his eyes opened up as wide as could be all of a sudden. Just like he was looking at the light! They had been closed for at least 3 days, while his body was in the process of shutting down. I guess the nurses at the hospital or at the hospice care facility had not been able to get both of his false teeth out (can't remember if they were the upper or lowers) and after he was gone, it popped out of his mouth. That wasn't something I was expecting at all! His eyes opening all of a sudden really kind of freaked me out when it happened too, I had never been with anybody when they passed. All together, I am really glad that I was able to be there with him, and my mom (she held his other hand) and I promised him that I would take care of my mom for him and thanked him for being so good to her. I told him how much I loved him and how happy I was to have had him in my life for the 30 years that I did. He was SO STRONG through his whole time with cancer. I never heard him say he was scared, never saw him cry, and really think I only saw him down about it once the whole time during his treatment period. He was a good man... and there aren't many days that go by that he doesn't make it into thoughts. It's been 7 years since we lost him... and my mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She is just barely at the beginning of the signs, but hey, we are going to make the best of the time that she has! She is my VERY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD! ❤ She and I have so much fun together, we love to cut up and joke, laughing and smiling when we are together as much as possible. The Lord couldn't have given me a better woman as my mother! 🤗
I remember that look when my own mother passed except she was awake and shed said repeatedly since her diagnosis that she wasnt ready to die. She lost her ability to talk the day before but, as she was gasping her last breathes, her eyes looked into mine and I could emotionally "hear" her eyes silently pleading for me to save her. I couldn't. I've never felt so helpless and never felt like more of a failure than at that moment. She wasnt ready......neither was I.
after 30 minutes of the medical team at the hospital trying to save my mother from unexpected cardiac arrest, I was in to see her after. she (her hands and forehead)were still warm. the intubation? tube had not yet been taken out. After the tech took the tube out, I tried to close her mouth but it wouldnt. It did not bother me much, just knowing she was really gone. thats what hurt. but, I know where she is and would not wish her back.I hope to have stories to tell her when we see each other again just not too soon. we just never know...
how on earth was this in my recommended? I mean, don't get me wrong this was actually interesting, but literally nothing i've ever watched would logically lead me here.
Its so funny as soon she demonstrated it, I was searching the web to get a "shut a mouth" kit..... to give to my friend's girlfriend.... gzzzz the girl can't shut up!!!! ahahhahahhahahha.... (I love her though...) but she can't shut up. : )
When my brother died from liver disease, he was very thin from drinking so much and his death was not peaceful. He was struggling and not on a respirator but had an oxygen mask on his face. Me and his wife and one of his daughters and his best friends stayed in the room those last minutes while he passed. He was gasping for air. When his heart finally stopped and it was over, his face looked frozen, mouth wide and agape, head tilted back, even after the nurse removed the oxygen mask. We stayed in the room a short time, said our final goodbyes and then left but seeing him frozen in that position still haunts me. It was horrifying. I’d seen other relatives die but none that passed with the struggle still showing on their face. I went to the funeral home with his wife the next day because they required a formal ID of the body before cremation and he was laid out, covered by a sheet, but his mouth and eyes had been closed so he looked more peaceful and not terrified. It was comforting to see him like that for the last time I was able to see him at all. It didn’t erase the picture etched in my mind of his death moment, but it did help and that’s what I try to remember. Not everyone dies peacefully in their sleep and it’s not pretty. It is very upsetting to the family , even though we chose to be there those last moments. So thank you to the funeral homes and morticians who make things look better to us living souls who are deep in grief. We wanted to stay till the bitter and ugly end but that’s not the final vision we want to be left with. My mom and dad died peacefully, no oxygen masks or respirators, just went from unresponsive to gone so that’s all I knew. It’s much harder to see a loved one struggle to breathe and die during that struggle.
@Belle M. Your comment describes the exact details of my oldest brother's final moments my mom my sister and I along with my oldest son were by his side in the hospital room seeing him struggle to breathe his expression everything though we are grateful we got to spend those last days with him it's definitely still a heartbreaking image to say the least one that'll never leave my mind thank you for sharing my sincere condolences to you and your family God bless
Death is not peaceful usually. The body tries to fight, That is why Hospice nurses are angels in my opinion. They spare the family a lot of trauma, Most people don't know this but a dying person can tell a hospice nurse its time to go , That alone spares the family greatly, My brother was dying of lung cancer, His breathing was erratic, He would breath, Stop, Restart, Over and over I listened to it, I couldn't handle it no more, Told the nurse I was going home and why I was leaving, She asked me when I was going to return, I gave her a time, She called me about 30 minutes before I was to show back up and said he was gone, Ill never know exactly what happened, But it sure spared me from memory's I didnt need to have
When my Nan was dead, only 15 minutes dead, the staff at the hospital rolled up a towel and put it under her chin to prevent the mouth from opening. It was very kind and dignified. Bless all the staff who work in hospice/ end of life care. You people deserve be more respect.
@@attygarland6909 Do you really that that’s an appropriate thing to ask about someone’s dead Nana? This was a real person we’re talking about here. Show a little respect.
@@ASM881 Read my living lips .. I wasn't asking her specifically about it .. I was hoping someone else more knowledgeable than me, maybe even Caitlin herself, would respond to my inquiry ..
@@attygarland6909 If that’s the case (which I doubt) then the place to ask the question would be in the general comment section and not in a response to my original comment. Additionally, if you have such a burning desire for knowledge may I suggest looking it up in a book or library instead of a RUclips comments section?
@@ASM881 Here's a better idea .. why don't you practice closing YOUR mouth? (and while you're at it, YOU pick up a book and learn some English - "You people deserve be more respect." wth???)
When my grandma died in front of me the hospice nurse put a towel under her chill immediately after she died, in till Rigamortis kicked in, for that being my grandma it was pretty traumatizing to see my grandmas jaw drop when she took her last breath. So I am glad the hospice nurse closed her mouth, she ended up looking so peaceful!
@@Rrenee86 When my dad passed away (he was found around 7 am by the nursing home staff), I was called up around 9 or 10 am. I went straight to the nursing home, but was told to wait a little until the’ve removed the cloth/bandage/binder around his jaw. When I got to see him (around 11 am, took a cab), he was lying with his mouth (and eyes…) closed. I beleive rigor mortis must have set in, because the jaw didn’t fall down (the very thought of it did scare me a bit). But he looked very peaceful.
Nope Nope rigamortis like that was popularized through a song and became a common bastardization . The average populace is more likely to be aware of pop culture than medical terminology . May you be blessed to continue to struggle in social situations due to your abrasiveness and lack of casual cognitive understanding of how complex social interactions and hierarchies function .
Great video! I was 18 or 19 when my Grandma died in the hospital. They called my dad and I and we went up there. My dad stopped right outside her room to talk to the nurse while I rushed in to see my Grandma, despite my dad hollering at me to wait or stop. I was ill-prepared for what I saw, since I had only seen a couple of open casket funerals where the bodies were already fixed. My Grandma looked terrifying because her eyes (maybe) and mouth were open. My focus was on her mouth because it looked like she died gasping for air or fighting death. I tried closing her mouth, but it wouldn't cooperate. By then the nurse and my dad had come in the room. All I remember is asking why her mouth was open like that. Ffs, talking about these things is so much better than being in the dark and unprepared. Thank you for educating people and making death more normal and less scary. You've definitely caused me to reconsider things and to have a different perspective.
Lilly LeDoux same thing happened to me. My 84 year old grandmother was in the hospital after suffering a stroke My dad and I went up there everyday to see her and talk to her. She knew who I was. About 2 days before Thanksgiving we were set to go up there and talk to the doctors and nurses about what she would do after discharge I went in the room like normal not thinking anything different. I had no nurses or doctors stop me or my dad. We walked right in and saw her dead. At first glance which was real fast I thought she was asleep but I looked closely and her mouth and eyes were open she had choked to death I started freaking out this is coming from someone who is afraid of going to funerals. I just about lost it To make matters worse we had to wait for other family members and the coroner to come. I know I was in that room for hours. I kept getting up and walking out. It was awful The experience made me fear death even more
@@LeeLeeMc3887 That's terrible you walked in to see her like that with no warning. I like watching and reading Caitlin because she explains things well and isn't afraid to discuss death, which I think is why so many people fear everything about it. We're just too far removed from it.
My nanny died from vascular dementia a few months ago. My dad found her in her bed so when I went to see her before the undertakers moved her, I was expecting her to be peacefully sleep like. She was not. She was laid diagnally across the bed, her mouth agape and her eyes half open. I tried to close her mouth and eyes but rigor had already set in. I think about this a lot and worry she died in pain. Thank you for sharing your experienes, it helped me to feel less alone with those fears.
@@banditobambino As a parent, I did the same thing my parents did, which was to not discuss those things in a misguided effort to protect my children. In reflecting back on my own shocking experience though, I do think avoiding those difficult and unpleasant things can do more damage. So sorry you had a similar experience, but glad my sharing helped you.
I feel for you, sorry you lost your grandma. I took care of my grandma after she went terminal with her cancer and it is really hard to see your grandma pass away. If it means anything the last thing my grandma said the day before she slipped into a coma and passed away was my grandpa was there with pretty purple flowers for her and he was waiting for her. My grandpa passed away short after I turned 16 in 1992 and that gave me comfort knowing he was there to guide her where she needed to go and it will be the same thing for all of us when it's our time. I hope this give you some comfort in knowing that her family members that have passed away before your grandma passed away were there with her so she wasn't alone. I do hope you are doing ok.
That was done by the hospital for my Daddy and my Gramma. They very delicately and respectfully placed a rolled up towel under the chin. They made sure we were comfortable with it. We were asked if we were going to be alright with it and they explained why it was being done. We were able to stay as long as we wanted. We were still able to kiss them,hug them and hold their hand. They were so kind.
I’m a hospice nurse, and one of the most common questions I get from a family after their loved one has passed is if I can please close their mouth. I usually tell them that mortuary will take care of it, but sometimes families are really insistent. In those cases, I use the scarf or towel method. Good to know they’re mortician approved!
Have you heard about the little neck brace like contraptions made out of biodegradable material? Think it’s cornstarch even. They’re supposedly rather discrete and doesn’t require any special training to use. I’m not in the industry myself, but I’m a former medical warehouse worker where those postmortem neck braces were one of the many many products we sent out to hospitals and other institutions. It’s called NorMors chin collar and they break down in just about a week after application/opening that collar. Just thought I’d mention those things since it might be of help in places like a hospice
@@ReyOfLight Thank you for telling us about the chin collar. I googled it and watched a quick video on it. I never knew of such a thing. I believe that it would he nice if all medical facilities kept them in supply.
@@NavyWife No problem. Just thought I’d mention its existence as they could be a quick and easy, and environmentally friendly way to prepare a body for viewing in a hospital, hospice or nursing home setting, but hey, those collars may even work as an alternative to sewing the mouth shut and other more invasive methods that requires a morticians knowledge and skill. I wouldn’t know exactly though as I’ve never seen the contraption in use, I just worked in the supply chain
Well now I’m wondering what method was used for my brother’s body for his wake last week. The mortician did an excellent job. I picked out his favorite jeans,socks,shoes one of my tshirts he had stolen from me awhile ago and the new field and stream jacket I got him for Christmas and his ugly Detroit Lions hat he loved so much. He definitely looked like himself and that was very comforting. Rip Tim
@@maryannswanson3832 my mother wanted to put him in a suit, I knew he would have hated that. He loved hunting,fishing and the Detroit Lions. When my family saw him they were very happy I picked that out for him. He looked very natural. He died from an overdose at home, I was the one who found him. It’s been hard in me but if it was anyone I’m glad it was me and not his 17 yr old son or my parents. I miss him so much. He battled his heroin addiction for 20 years he is now at peace. His war is over.
When my grandmother died, it had only happened a few minutes prior to me seeing her body. I was expecting to see her mouth open, but actually seeing it brought back jarring memories of when my mom read "A Christmas Carol" to me as a child. I remembered Marley's ghost being described with a cloth tied under his chin, and at the end of the scene he untied it, letting his maw drop open in a ghastly display. When I saw her mouth open, a horrid mirror of the image in my mind, I grabbed a piece of ribbon and tied her mouth closed. My mother was surprised that I knew to do that.
When my mother passed her lips were sewn together. The sutures had lipstick on them to try and hide them. I will never forget the horrible feeling I had when I saw it.
My aunt passed away in the hospital a year ago, and I saw her right afterwards. It has really bothered me the way that her mouth was open... like she was screaming in pain. To know that it’s completely normal since muscles are relaxed brings me peace. Thank you.
Sweetheart, so sorry that nobody told you and you had that in your mind for a whole year. Please folks don't let this happen and be open about all the things that happen to us when we die, it saves so much trauma and heartache in the long term. Take good care of you Erica
The last time I saw my grandmother alive her the muscles in her jaw had relaxed already and it was so scary to see. That was over 2 months ago at this point.
When I first became a nurse in 1980 I didn't know to immediately place the dentures in the deceased persons mouth. My head nurse came in to inspect my post mortem care and told me to get the dentures in. Well at that point it took a lot of effort cause if mandibular stiffness. Once I got them in I turned to wash my hands cause back the. They didn't use gloves and when I turned to look at PT all I saw was a huge smile. Her dentures had lifted up. I gasped. Her family came in and said. Awww she looks so happy. Phew.
My grandpa and grandma passed away last year 11 days apart. My grandpa passed away at night quietly in his bed. My grandma passed away surrounded by her loved ones. She was in her bed and we tried to make her comfortable even in her last minutes. We could tell the time was coming. She wanted to sit up so my dad held her up in his arms. I held her hand and other cousins and aunts touched her telling her we loved her. As we realized the moment was happening, we laid her back in her bed and then she passed. It is something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. It was a beautiful death. She was 97. Her birthday would have been the following week. After she passed, we put a rolled up towel under her chin and put her arms straight on her side until they came to pick up the body. They did a great job on her for the wake. She looked like a saint.
It's been a year since both my grandpa and grandma passed. I miss them and am sad but I'm not grief stricken. I can look at their pictures and old videos and smile.
I'm sure that outpour of love was incredibly comforting in her final moments before she parted. I know I'd want to go that way as well. You guys did wonderfully.
omg, that’s the way to do it! that is quite literally “how i want to go out”, surrounded by loved ones pouring their love out to me 🥹🤍 that’s a beautiful final moment y’all gave to your grandma + grandpa 🤍
This is the creepiest experience I've ever had. I went to see my dead grandmother, I was putting some flowers in the coffin and i felt her cold dead hands, but being 12 years old I didn't know that the towel was to keep the mouth shut, so, I thought that the towel was getting in the way of the flowers, and I removed it, mouth open, creepiest moment ever.
My great grandmother had double mastectomies when she was in her 40s. My mom says in her 80s, she never wore any sort of breast stuffing. She just embraced her flat chest. So in the early 1980s when she died the funeral home stuffed her bra a lot. Like, a lot. Everyone was disgusted. Her own husband (my great grandfather) approached the casket and said "she's got bigger breasts than she ever did when alive!" But he wasn't being funny. He was disappointed. She didn't look like my great grandmother as my great grandmother DIDN'T have breasts.
How could someone change how another's loved one looked in life? They're supposed to present them at peace, natural, as they were... not what the directors think they should look like...
thank you for highlighting the idiocy of a funeral and why I am having no funeral. why anyone would allow their dead body to be on display is something I have never understood. the important part of a person, the soul or spirit, is long gone and the display is pointless and IMO ghoulish.
That’s so unfortunate! I remember when my grandma passed she was my best friend and we talked literally 20’times a day. They asked us for a photo of her on a normal day and made her looked just like that! She looked so peaceful.
My husband's mouth during his viewing was barely slumped down sort of. But at his service, a few days later, it was a lot more. Our sons were 5 and 7 and they didn't understand why he looked like that and the FD had us step into the hallway and when we came back in it was normal looking. Kids were much happier, I was too. It was really a disturbing but kind thing to do.
Before there is ANY viewing, the FD or rep will check to ensure all is in order! If they notice anything untoward, it will be rectified. Once happy, the family may view the deceased. 🇬🇧🇬🇧
I remember when my father died! The Amazing hospital staff prepared my father's body so as his family arrived! Was presented respectfully! Our mother was with him as he passed away! They rolled a towel under his chin closing his mouth. 7 of the 8 children came. Paid our final respects. Honor for the hospital staff!
I just randomly came across your channel. And to answer your question at the end.... I'm 21 years old now, but on Halloween of 2012, my boyfriend and I were walking and he got hit by a truck and died.. And his parents wanted an open cakset, but I didn't. And he was in pretty bad shape due to the accident, and I'm not sure what happened but you could see the wire they used. You could see it through his lips and in his nose. Its the last image I have of him in my mind. Open caskets aren't always the best. I prefer to visually remember them alive. Love your channel by the way!
I dont really know how to phrase this to really express how I feel, but that just really sucks a whole lot of ass. I'm really sorry you had to go through that and that the last memory of your boyfriend is seeing him in such an unnatural state.
The last time I saw my grandmother. She looked at peace and they did a great job on her. That's the last image I have of her being. If I hadn't gone the last image would have been when she was very sad state as the caner killing her slowly. SO it all depends at the end.
You sound a lot like my stepdad. As long as I've known him, he's only viewed the corpse at a funeral once. His own mom. Otherwise, he's always refused to enter the room where the casket is. In his own words, "I want to remember them alive." For me, there's too much of a morbid curiosity, to deny myself a look. And I've never been to a funeral involving a person who got messed up bad. The only person I knew who died in such a way ( got drunk and crashed a motorcycle at 120mph ) was cremated. So I can safely say I've no idea how that must have been for you, but you have my sympathy. It sounds traumatic, honestly....
My grandfather passed away on 30th September, and I was here for him in his last moments. I grew up with him as my father, since my genitor decided we weren't worth his time. I can't describe all the pain I felt.. I stayed with him all night long, as nurses told me he wouldn't be on the move before the morning. So I took care of him as all the family gathered, and held his mouth shut until a nurse placed a transparent hoop. He was everything to me. A few months ago he was still with me, playing football or table tennis, or even pool, in the beautiful house and garden he built himself during his architect career. I'm not a believer but for him I need to believe.. Otherwise there is no point. I've been watching this channel a lot recently, maybe to help me cope. It's been tough, it will still be. Thank you caitlin for your work. Now, I need to take care of my grandmother, which is still incredibly fit and beautiful at 84, but she doesn't know what to do now that her husband for 65 years is gone. She told me she wants to join him, I get it, but I need her still. I don't have that many people to talk to, and I've been working hard to not think too much, but it doesn't seem to do any good. so I vented here.. Sorry about this
Hugo - there is always someone a phone call away. They may not know you but they know your pain. Reach out to grief support groups or a grief helpline. I hope you find your own meaning and carry on with your Grandma. Your Grandpa sounds like a great man who left behind wonderful memories and tangible benefit to his community.
I stayed with my grandparents when I was a kid because my parents had to work a lot. When my Grandad died, I started sleeping next to my Gran, because she would often cry at night. I would take her hand and give her my support, since (as a 10year old) I really had no idea what to say. A week before she herself passed on (20 years later), I suddenly felt the need to go stay with her and sleep next to her one more time - she was getting forgetful but still remembered how I used to sleep in my Grandad's bed for a long time and we talked & laughed the whole night... This made letting go much easier for me. But as a woman, that might have been a different situation, what with me being in the same bed 😉 maybe looking through some old photo albums will be something that cheers the both of you up?
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy when we lose someone we are used to leaning on. Makes the whole world seem topsy turvy. Sit and talk to your grandma. She needs that. Or just sit and hold her hand. You will both benefit from each other's company.
Love will guide you and help you continue on. It doesn't get easier with time, only that you get better dealing with it. Remember the good and the love and cling to that with all your heart.
I'm a palliative care nurse and when I'm preparing the body for the family viewing them right after death (even if they were in the room when it happened) I ask for five mins to get the body straight, remove any medical devices it's safe for me to remove, roll a towel for the jaw and if the eyelids won't stay shut I use some Vaseline and that usually does the trick.
" *If* the eyes won't stay shut.." is the scariest sentence I've ever read! What do you mean? Maybe the person isn't dead, if their eyes keep re-opening! *shudders*
Thank you so much for this informative video Caitlin!💗 My family sadly lost our beloved father just recently and we wanted to prepare him by ourselves as we think he would have wanted it. We washed him, suited him well and got him readied up but we were troubled by the lack of knowledge of how to handle the mouth and eye problem. That's when i came across your video and saw you using a tie! I live in Finland and it's more accustomed here to let the funeral director do the preparing but we felt that it is our duty and honor to make him proud of his appearance. We ironed his clothes and put some spring flowers in he's chest pocket. Our father was always precise of his outfits. We miss him dearly everyday 💗
My brother died in a car accident 7 years ago he was pretty busted up from what the police and the people at the morgue said when we went to identify him I saw his head but the rest of him was covered in a white sheet and i ran out because seeing him there hit me like a sledge hammer. So a little while passes and the emotional pain had subsided enough that i went to see him in the funeral home before the funeral where he had his clothes on and whatever damage that could be fixed was fixed and I distinctly remember having a million questions going through my head about how they did all those things like keep his mouth shut fix the wounds shut the eyes and everything. Never told anyone about it because I've always thought it was a bit strange and would be seen as disrespectful since instead of mourning (which I had done and still do on my own) the main thoughts in my head were how the morticians did all these things. So for that little bit of clarification and closure I thank you and subbed
Joe Frayling sorry for your loss. I was definitely the same way when my grandmother passed. I felt so strange and out of place because while I was mourning, I was also crazy curious over how everything worked.
I had a family friend that died in a bad motorcycle accident. They did the best they could for his face, but it was still severely swollen and didn't look like him. Then the day of the funeral, they had to pause and get everyone out. When we came back in for the final service, the lid was closed on his coffin. He had so much damage to him that the embalming wasn't holding and he started decomposing. It was vary startling to realize that he was decomposing so quickly with all of us in the room.
@@elizabethyoung4469 more than likely he had what's called tissue gas, its caused by the bacteria clostridium perfingens, and unfortunately once it starts its very hard to stop and impossible to reverse. I'm so sorry you had to see your loved one that way.
My brother passed in the same way 3 years ago. I couldnt look at him. He was cremated and we poured his ashes in the ocean off the San Diego coast where we grew up and he loved surfing. I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a brother puts a hole in your heart that is never repaired.
The mockumentary book "The Zombie Survival Guide" actually mentions this--graveyards would be relatively safe, since not only are the dead buried in wooden or metal boxes fairly deep underground, but they're also in such a state (heavily embalmed, jaws wired shut, etc.) that any zombies they produce are no threat to humans. Far more dangerous are the freshly-dead, in hospitals and morgue freezers and places like that.
@Pancake Syrup but still they'd be buried underground in a closed coffin, these things are pretty hard to open, and considering the weight of the earth on top? A zombie wouldn't be able to get out. But if the corps is fresh, and just lying on a table in the hospital, that's where the danger is at
I don't want to be 'viewed' dead.... period. Open mouth, closed mouth, hooha agape, I don't care. Just throw some dirt on me and let me be. Remember me alive. Once you see a loved one dead you can never unsee that. It forever clouds your memories of that person.
Interesting. I've never lost a close family member to know this. But I've always wondered if when they die should I go see them... Would I regret not seeing them? would I regret seeing them? Love to know what you think since it's sounds like you had some experience with it by saying you can't unsee ...
bebebutterfield1 So true... On August 1st I saw my mom die at the ICU (she was in coma) and 2 hours later at the morgue. Despite she looked like she was sleeping I cant forget about it... it really clouds my memories of her...
Yes, I'm fine. I was expecting it since it was because of pancreatic cancer (the worse cancer...), but I didnt expect her to leave that quickly... But I was prepared...
I think lips often look "pursed" As a priest, I was fortunate to see my first dead (not prepared) body in the hospital, as a seminary student....in the middle of the night with only a couple of family present and 2 nurses. Everyone was invited to take their time (it was also the weekend)...the mother was only in her 50's...yet looked so calm. We took time to pray and hold her hand...while the nurses disconnected her from all the equipment. Am so thankful for that experience. It prepared me in so many ways to get past this pasty face, stiff death had seen before. I could hold a still born baby and give that child last rites, with a kiss...
I’ve never wanted to be buried and just accepted cremation as the only alternative. A few years ago I started hearing about composting but nothing has gotten me actually engaged until this channel. I’m learning so much I love it! 🎉❤
When I die I don't even want to have a funeral let alone a seeing. Just the thought of people starring at me when I'm dead kinda scares me... Also funerals are expensive, I hope no one has to deal with that later
Yeah, like me. Directly into the furnace (or aquamation if that's here when I go) then a nice little memorial party. With all my favourite foods, so lots of chocolate, bacon and pizza.
SakurakoO.O I kinda feel the same way. I don’t believe in funerals. Once you die your soul/consciousness or whatever has left. Your body is just an empty vessel at that point. Just cremate me, scatter my ashes in the ocean, and go about your business. If you want to jazz it up play “amazing grace” before you dump the ashes, “yakety sax” during the dumping, and then the “looney tunes” theme at the end.
My father died breathing through his mouth so his jaw was wide open and he was half sitting up. My sister and I were right there when he passed, so we laid him down and closed his eyes and jaw immediately before any rigor mortis could kick in. I remember my sister closing his mouth, but for the life of me, I can't remember what we did to keep it closed.
People can take what they want of mine when I die, except my eyes. I’ve got this really irrational fear that I’ll still be able to see. I know I won’t be able to, y’know, cause I’ll be dead... but damn, ain’t no one having my eyes.
When my uncle died in the hospital. They left him as he died slumped over mouth contorted eyes open. They left him like that for hours. Took years to stop seeing that. I felt so sorry for his daughter.
I heard a simillar story from a friend of mine, when her grandma died she was in the fetal position and just like you mentioned with her face in a horrible contorted grimace. And apparently even though she died in the hospital, the hospital staff never cared to move her into a more natural position for rigor mortis set in. So when she eventually had to be placed into a casket they literally broke both her legs to straighten them out. Thats really messed up shit....
I have a chronic illness and am in and out of the hospital a lot. One time when I was being admitted, a guy was being wheeled in who has the face Caitlin made to demonstrate what a real dead body looked like: eyes wide open and mouth completely gaped. The next day I was going for a walk and say the guy was in the room next to me with still the same expression but now really pale. It was very haunting and unsettling. A few hours later when I went for another walk, his room was empty and bed made. I overheard the nurses saying that they already informed the family and he had been taken away to the morgue. It was such a mix of emotions from “omg, I accidentally watched a guy die 😳” to wondering what had happened to feeling a little sorry that he was alone. I can still see exactly what his face looks like too, that was years ago.
My mother lost her eyes completely.at 75 and when she passed away at 95 (2014) they didn't put her glass eyes in. I barely recognised her at the viewing as her eye sockets were deeply sunken. We were a bit pissed off about this bcoz surely they knew she shouldn't have been.presented like that. Apart from that we couldn't fault her funeral. But seriously.
I feel like I'm 6 years too late, but I think this might be relevant to the discussion! I'm a medieval archaeologist from Portugal. There are lots of Early-Medieval rock-cut graves around the mountain range of Serra da Estrela (dating back to the 9th-10th centuries). They're simple pits cut on the granite bedrock. Some are simply oval, but they often have an anthropomorphic profile, having been shaped to tightly accommodate the (probably shrouded) deceased. In some of these instances, there's a transversal shallow notch cut at neck level, in which a wooden support was probably fit to keep the mouth shut, not unlike your rolled towel method!
I'm a writer so I think a stack of my favorite books stuffed under my jaw and propped up by my boobage would be just fine. Or leave my mouth gaping open and stuff some flowers in there.
Thanks for this. As a critical care nurse I am glad to know that you have multiple ways of dealing with the open mouth. We were told that if we didn’t put the dentures in that it would create terrible problems and that if we failed to tie the mouth closed that the mortician would have to break the jaw! Our biggest problem was when the patient had facial lividity and fluids in the mouth in the open mouth scenario and the family wanted to see the loved one. We always did our best because we wanted that last visit and wanted it to be a comfort rather than a trauma. I think in the immediate aftermath, that people are dealing with the shock. So, blankets, a pillow with a crisp white pillow case, hands exposed and clever use of lighting as well as ample use of suction and a thorough wash of whatever needs it and a patient gown is helpful.
I don't really mind what's done to me after I die. Mouth nailed or sewn shut, it's all good. Hell, cremate me and use my ashes as confetti for all I care.
*kas :* Hahahah, I freaked out when I saw this in my notifications without any context. "Get yourself turned into a tree" sounds like a really good insult lol. Good idea though! I think I'll request for that.
try donating your body to science if it's a thing in your country. I signed some paperwork so that after I die, med students can use my body for educational purposes
So my great aunt died this year, in middle of this pandemic, she died at home, on may 10, yes, mother's day here in Colombia 🇨🇴. My dad was her doctor and he did everything he could, but it was too late, she was and will always be more of a grandma for me. There's something I still can't get over and it's i saw her turn like yellow, I know, the process, but the impression of seeing her mouth still opened, just haunted me. I was the one to close her beautiful eyes, so thankful for it. And I was there for my family. Thanks for reading.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you got so much from closing her eyes for her. When my mother passed the yellowing was the thing that most stayed with me, too. She'd always had a bit of a Mediterranean skin tone, but she went really sallow, and then full on jaundice yellow after passing. Weirdly (?) though, I think it helped me - she was visibly not herself, because the fundamental her-ness* had gone. I could let go of the body because I knew it what just that, a vessel no longer used. I hope you and your family have found a similar peace/way of coping, and that you know she will always be with you in one way or another x "No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away" - Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett *essence/spirit/soul/personality, whatever you class it as. My mother was a spiritualist, and I know she felt her body was the transport needed in this life, but that the real her was within it and would go on to the next chapter of her journey.
I totally understand this. My dad died of liver cancer in hospice and was very yellow. We waited for about 6 hours or so for my brother to fly in to see him before we let them take his body and by that time his mouth was open and I couldn't shut it easily. I really hated that.
I firmly believe that funerals and the associated rites and practices are for the living. I'd prefer my loved ones to do whatever helps them grieve and mourn because I can't offer them any comfort once I'm gone. I've told my mum that I want a natural burial (me+shroud+hole in the ground) but if having me embalmed and shut away in a vault makes the process as painless and fulfilling (its an odd choice of word but it's the only one I can think of) as its ever going to be, then I'm happy for her to do that. All that remains of the dead is bones and ash, it's the living who have heartache and memories. Death is never an easy thing to deal with but giving people a say in how their loved ones are remembered helps them to find their way forward, especially in traumatic deaths where there's an overwhelming sense of helplessness.
It's true. I could never make sense of why spend so much money sometimes- the person's gone now, but the people left have to greive and I think it does help some, I guess it all depends on culture/ upbringing etc.
Finally someone gets it! It's mostly for the living. I waited with my family while my cousin who passed away got cremated and it was actually more traumatic watching him get placed in this huge oven-like machine and come back as ashes. I guess, seeing them go .. you just kind of beg for more time.
Exactly! I told my husband that I don't really care what he does. I assume he'll cremate me since that's cheaper and money's always tight. I just told him to throw a few of my ashes onto my son's grave and do whatever he wanted with the rest of me. I won't care. I'll be dead.
I'm sorry for your loss my love. The cost of a burial can be astronomical and even cremations get pricey. I never understood the purpose of a fancy casket (beyond the service and viewings) because it's just gonna get covered in dirt or set ablaze. Ideally I'd like a giant funeral pyre as a centrepiece for a fullmoon sabbat/party with lots of food, alcohol, and celebration involve. But ya know. Practicality. It ruins everything @@thisismyutoob
Something I'd like to pass along. I completed a 3 yr apprenticeship in mortuary science. Something I discovered REALLY bothered me. The funeral director I worked under wore a LOT of gold. Custom made jewelry. One day while on call I was dispatched to pick up a case at a local hospital. I had forgotten my tie...I called my boss and informed him I 1st needed to stop and buy one. He told me to stop by his residence and someone would let me get one of his ties. So...I'm standing in his closet looking for a tie that matched my suit. I look up and there on a top shelf was a "Gerber" baby jar FULL of gold fillings. I knew immediately what I was looking at, and knew now why he had so much custom gold jewelry. So...if you are aware of a loved one who has gold fillings. Make it known during the arrangement of the funeral. Once the procedure is complete they also super glue the lips shut...there is no opening of the mouth after this is done. Just an fyi.
Worked in a nursing home for quite a few years when I was young. With that kind of work comes a lot of death, of course. I found that very few people died with family surrounding them. Family is usually called right away and will want to see their loved one right away. People don't understand that death is not a pretty sight and I never wanted someone to remember their parent or grandparent that way. It was always a scramble to get the deceased cleaned up, in a nice nightgown or pajamas of their own. We weren't supposed to be working with the deceased alone but such is life in a nursing home. The first time I had to work with someone who had just passed, I was alone and I didn't know what to do about her mouth, which kept slowly gaping open! I rolled up towels and stuck under her chin, didn't work, so I used one of her scarves to tie her chin to her head. I felt absolutely horrible about this, like I was disrespecting her. And then her eyes started coming open. I couldn't keep them closed so I put quarters, like you see in movies. It didn't work. By this time an experienced person came in and showed me to use wet cotton balls, which did work. Her eyes and mouth finally "set" for lack of better word. Scarf and cottonballs removed. We finished with clean linens, cleaning up the room, and by this time the family had arrived. I wish more care was given to teaching people who work in nursing homes how to ready a resident for their family to see.
I also worked in a nursing home when I was a teenager. You are right, death is not glamorous the way Hollywood makes it seem. We had no viewing options for loved ones. Instead just putting them in a big bag on a gurney away from view. The loved ones had to do their viewing at a funeral home. This was in Michigan in the early 80's I don't know if it was by law or the nursing home rules?
I worked in a nursing home also, night shift and they never really mentioned what to do until a death happened on ur shift. All I did was I cleaned up the body cause we couldn't send it to the funeral home dirty and as u know most of the time people lose control of their bodily fluids. Then put a new hospital gown on them and stretch the body straight and closed the mouth. Just basic knowledge stuff and then helped load them up in the funeral stretcher. Yeah I agree nobody really explained anything to u. But that did help me prepare for when my mom died, so I would know what to do for her.
@AunyxTMThe quarters is what you see on TV but they weren't heavy enough and slid off of her face. To this day I am embarrassed I tried this. With wet cotton balls (not sopping wet, btw) it's just enough weight to hold the eyes of the recently deceased closed. Later on I saw other staff use a piece of transpore tape to hold a cotton ball over the closed eyes but I never did this because the elderly have really fragile skin and I was afraid to damage their face.
I literally had to do this a couple of weeks ago ! And as you say no body tells you how to do it ! I had a 16 stone man draped over my shoulder while my colleague and I tried to get a clean shirt on him ...I ended up titling his head with cushions so his mouth was barely open ...he looked pretty good considering! But there should be training as you say it's common in nursing homes and as a night worker I've had 3 in 5 months that i was left till morning with !! 😕
@@rebeccaann5364 I'm thankful for my years spent working in a nursing home too. I was able to care for my Dad in my home. He did not want home visits from a nurse or aide. I managed everything from his medication to his meals and showering. He was bed bound - bed to chair, bed to shower-chair, you get the idea. Bilateral above-the-knee amputee, suprapubic catheter, horrible for him, though I'd be lying if I said these conditions didn't make it easier to care for him and provide him a better quality of life. I know it must have hurt him emotionally but he loved me so much that his stoicism was my strength for five years. He died in his sleep, at home, with me. Until now, it never occurred to me that I didn't need to close my Dad's eyes. Even in death, he was still the strong one.
When my dad died in 1997, I had to go see him in the mortuary. They had a bandana tied under his chin and up around his head. It made him look like he had a toothache, so it wasn't so scary to see him. Good video!
Well... it is kind of settling for me to know, that there will be a person, that will try to make me look "not like a dead person" when I pass away. Thank you, Mortician lady.
I want my body to be left as I died, so when I rise as a zombie and go looking for my ex-husband to snack on, I won't need to find a pair of scissors first.
I remember hearing that Tom Savini (special FX makeup artist for a great many horror movies) had a major pet peeve watching other movies where the actors would "die" but keep their mouths closed. This man has seen alot of dead bodies (particularly during the Vietnam war) which is how he knew dead bodies have open mouths, and seeing a supposed "dead body" in a movie with a closed mouth would take him out of the story.
your videos have helped me deal with seeing my mom's "real death" more than any therapy has. thank you for the work you do. something that was traumatic for me has taken on a whole new light.
Crazy experience, I used to be a transporter for a hospital and along with taking people to their regular procedures and such, we had to also take deceased patients to our morgue. It was super late, I was pulling 12 hours so I was super tired, got the patient on the stretcher(which btw is horrible because they hit their head hard on the pull over from the bed) down the hallway and into the elevator. No big deal it was probably my hundredth time doing this so I was just going through the motions. I was in the elevator and the body just shot straight up, and at that point I was absolutely mortified. I refused to do a morgue transport for a very long time because of that haha. I would release the bodies to the funeral directors if they came and they would help, but never again was I alone with a dead body. Nope. That is real death like you say.
Yes, it can happen that a body will sit up. my late husband had a friend who worked at a mortuary and told him sometimes this would happen. so creepy! I couldn't do that job
My dad passed after a very long debilitating illness and looked nothing like himself. He was a farmer and wanted to be buried in his overalls. We got him a new flannel shirt, new overalls and a tweed sport jacket. The makeup artist made him look like himself using a photograph for reference. She did a wonderful job. Dad came alive again in death and, I for one, felt good about his viewing. He looked like he could wake up any moment, grab his fishing pole and go fishing in his boat. My mom, on the other hand, suffered tremendously in her last months with cancer and makeup and a wig could not compensate for the change in her appearance. I knew she would not want to be seen like that and opted for a closed casket with a portrait of her on display. We only allowed the casket to be opened for private viewing by immediate family members. All the unconventional burials would have been out of the question even though my dad had said to put him in a burlap sack, dig a hole on the farm with the backhoe and roll him in. He was a joker! I find your videos very informative and refreshing to say the least.
My Mama requested to be buried in the wig and evening gown she wore to my daughter's wedding. She looked like a movie star not like my mama. I want to be cremated and don't want a funeral.
Nancy Fenity, that's similar to what my dad said. He said put him in a garbage bag, and put him on the curb, so that he could be picked up and taken to a landfill. Well, when he passed we definitely did not do that.
Your dad sounds like he was a lovely person and quite funny too. I just lost my dad (also to a terminal illness) 3 months ago...which is why your comment grabbed my attention.
My dad was buried in overalls and flannel too, one of the pictures was him holding his pole in one hand and his catch in the other.....that man loved to fish. We put his trucker hats in with him and the trucking companies plaque mounted on his casket. Another driver even drove my dads rig in the procession and condolences came from all over the country from other truckers and the places he delivered to. We were told if we could have waited till weekend for the service the funeral home would have been full, there were a lot of truckers who wanted to pay their respects.
@@RachelMulwee I am so very sorry for your loss. Yes, my dad was a great guy and a riot. Always telling stories and entertaining his companions. It's been many years since my parents passed, but I still miss them every day.
I saw my grandmother only moments after passing. Of course she looked not as alive as I'd seen her before but she looked like my grandma still. I cried a lot but it felt right. At her viewing, she didn't look like herself. I think that's what makes me lean to more natural arrangements since finding your videos. It just sounds so much nicer. Of course, I will most likely be the only person in my family with that kind of death plan...let alone a death plan before having children or before being very old (I'm 20)
That's exactly how I felt. My Grandma passed 2 weeks ago. When we saw her before taking her off life support she looked like my Grams. At the wake, she didn't look like herself. I wasnt expecting that at all but now After hearing more stories people say that's common
I agree. Had to identify my father after his accident, and he looked like my dad, I was happy knowing I could have him done up for an open casket and have my sister be able to come see him for the service, upon viewing him before the service, he did not look the same at all and I had to close the casket, I was sad I don't have the closure I still need from it.
Caitlin, thank you for this. My mother died in a care home and I wasn't there. I went to see her body about an hour after she'd died. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was open. It bothered me and I thought the care workers had forgotten to close it. The thought has haunted me in the 3 years since. Now I know that was normal. Thanks again.
I work in a nursing home and we have a plastic device for that that goes under the jaws, around the neck, almost invisible with a scarf of whatewer to cover, or if not possible, the towel technique or the scarf used around the head to close the mounth like she mentioned in the video Families often come first before the body is taken so we try to make our best for this first viewing, but I don't remember really that from school I learned that as a trainee when I saw my first death, the nurse was like "help me close eyes and mouth" and I wasn't afraid, now working in a nursing home that's kinda a last care I can do for these people that I knew for years now, when they passed at least trying to make them look appeased and clean
I am a needle injector gal. I assisted in a suture when i first started out and i felt that it was too evasive. Never had the bits pop out. But yes i can relate. It haunts my dreams as well😂😂😂😂 I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY JOB. ITS A LABOR OF LOVE WHAT WE DO. AND TO BE A FEMALE IN SUCH A MALE DOMINATED FIELD FUELS MY AMBITION TO ALWAYS UP THE ANTE AND DO MY BEST WORK THANK YOU FOR SHARING. I FEEL THAT FAMILIES COME IN WITH THESE QUESTIONS AND DONT KNOW HOW TO ASK OR FEAR OF WHAT THEY FATHOM MENTALLY WHAT THEIR LOVED ONE GOES THROUGH. YOURE AMAZING
I always found that if a adjustment was needed the injector was easier to "fix" fix being used loosely because not much ya can do at that point ( oh here is his teeth, when he's embalmed, dressed and laid out in the viewing room. We found cotton works good on reworking and filling out the cheek/ lip area too.
I will never, ever forget when my mom passed away, receiving a call from the mortician just hours after he had picked up her body. He had to let us know that he was having trouble getting her mouth to close (she had a slight overbite) and asked for our permission to push back her top teeth so that her mouth would shut. Very surreal.
I’m a CNA… and have done end of life care for 4 years as well and I have NEVER had a patient die while I was there. Until two months ago. Hardest thing I ever had to do. Thankfully I was kinda prepared from watching your videos. But yup the mouth was open and the eyes too😫
Bryndís Bridget Smith LOL! I'm a hairstylist and I've signed paperwork for my dear friend/client to do her hair when she passes away. I'm also supposed to be doing her make up, hence the l-o-l at your comment. 👍😂
As a mortician myself I use mainly the suture method as that pretty much guarantees a decent mouth closure and will not come undone. The problem I have had with needle injectors is that when you move the deceased from the embalming table to the coffin or casket the pins become dislodged and you end up suturing anyway. 👍🏻⚱⚱⚰⚰⚰💀💀
+Ask A Mortician I know!! Not too mention that there is always the risk of the pin not being driven down deep enough into the gum and you end up with a metal stud showing behind the lip.
Have either of you dealt with bones breaking after a suture, or the wire? Like, the strain on the bones disintegrates the mandible or maxilla, thus making it impossible to try again?
+Srcsqwrn I've never had a suture break bones on me. I don't know about Caitlin if she has ever had that problem? I've had ligature snap and had to replace it but that's it. An embalmer friend of mine one used a needle injector on an elderly person and ended up shattering the persons jaw in the process. ⚰⚰⚱⚱💀💀
I used to want to be a mortician as a kid. Not funeral director. To bad there is not an like a glue or something like that you can use for the mouth or eyes. I can tell it takes a special kind of personality to do that kind of work. write back if you want.
Thank you so much for your work and explanation. As someone who recently had their parent pass away and viewing them afterwards, i see how vitally important your job is in maintaining dignity and compassion. Your explanations and descriptions help with going thru the grieving process. I have a much renewed respect for all the service the funeral industry provides.
When someone says to me "picture a dead body" I picture my mother. She dropped dead on the living room floor. My ex-husband was there, and he woke me up, and I came running to the living room (in my very death-inappropriate underwear, straight out of bed) and saw my mother, mostly dead, on the living room floor. (She did make two reflexive breaths, and I tried CPR, but *sigh* she's now been dead 14 years, 3 months, and 10[ish] days. [Yes, I had to do math to figure that out. No, I don't have a daily count. Tomorrow makes one month since my other mother {they were a lesbian couple} passed away, which might be part of why I'm watching Ask a Mortician on RUclips.])
When my father's sister died in a nursing home at age 88, we went to see her and my father and family were horrified by her appearance. She looked like she had died screaming. Her eyes open and mouth wide open and her head was slightly tilted back. I'm a registered nurse and my husband is a paramedic and firefighter. I sat with my dad and my husband couldn't bear it so he left the room. I was so angry because in nursing school and working in a hospital, I was taught how to prepare a body for the family to see before I took the body to the morgue. I tried to explain to my dad why she looked the way she did but it didn't help and the whole family was scarred. I was so upset because they didn't even try to close her mouth and eyes or even smooth down her hair a little to make her not look like she was screaming in pain. My dad had nightmares for months afterward and when he was dying he told me not to let him be seen like my Aunt. He was so scared because of how the nursing home had left my Aunt for us to see. I tried my best to comfort him, but you could still see he was frightened. I have seen a lot of horrible things as a nurse but nothing comes close to how I felt when I saw my Aunt. Thank you for explaining the procedures. This is such a fascinating channel.
Wow. Honestly doesn't surprise me though. The "reputable distinguished" nursing home both my grandparents ended up in abused and caused their early and painful deaths...those places don't give a shit they're full of CNA's that did an eight month program and get paid $15 an hour. They're in their early twenties, have no respect for their elders, or the dead, or their family, and just want their paycheck. No one even noticed my grandma was dead for over an hour in the nursing home. Assholes.
+justagirldemi why do you make the assumption her being older than you means she will die first? You could die tomorrow crossing the road. Age isn't always a factor in death.
Thank you for being gentle with the mouth, after what you've told us about what you do with the downthere holes... and we all know it's important to always bring a towel. So yes, I want a towel with me at my funeral.
I guess our hospice nurse didn't know the towel method, and instead apologized to my mom for not being able to keep Grandma's mouth shut. My mom was like, "Well, none of us could."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 none of us could
Damn
💀😂
That’s funny. I’m sure your grandma would get a kick out of that.
Good one, if God forbid I should be in that position anytime soon hopefully I'll say something similar like that.
When my aunt passed away (in her home) her mouth was open so her sister did tie a scarf to close it. And make her look better
That feeling when, after reading and re-reading the story over and over again for decades, you suddenly learn why Jacob Marley had a wrapping keeping his jaw shut when his spirit visited Scrooge
Not gonna lie. Just thought he died of mumps.
No one - when did you learn why Jacob Marley had a wrapping on his face.
Me - 5 SECONDS AGO!!!
Learn something new every day!
I had the same thought!
@@fallingspark2258 Figured it was a tooth problem and he was too cheap to see a dentist myself.
You are amazing! I always wondered about that. I thought he had a tooth ache lol
This was strange, disturbing, interesting & entertaining.
You've basically summed up working in a funeral home in that sentence. I'm currently in training and the first time I saw someone's mouth being sawn up (when I was told I was like "eeeeew". My brain had mixed feelings of "wow, that's like some very twisted talent" and "oooooh, look at that!".
I don’t know why this came up in my recommended and I also don’t know why I want to watch more
heh, s.d.i.e.
This channel just randomly showed up in my recommended vids and Can’t stop watching. I’m both disgusted and fascinated
@@scarlettsolomonovich3332 i know. Same here. I scarily like it.
My mom just passed away this week. She didn't want strangers preparing her so my husband and I and my step mom did it. Hospice was shocked that we weren't allowing a funeral home to prepare her body. We used the towel method and also ended up having to tie around her head. Although it's so hard losing my Mom, it was an honor taking care of her after she passed.
Do you feel like it gave you more closure being the one to do it?
@@breehere1243 I don't know about closure but I felt it gave her more dignity
@@7ArrowsMinistry that's wonderful. I'm sorry for your loss I hope you're holding up as well as you can be
I agree - my mother died at home, and my sister and I washed her body and put on a pretty nightie for her last sleep. It's a wonderful closure and we can give gratitude to the body that brought us into the world.
A few years earlier, one of my dear friends died and all of us (husband, coven members, friends) bade her farewell by washing her, doing her makeup, dressing her in beautiful clothing and robes and sent her off like the witch she was. Hecate was glad to see her. I was prepared for the process when it was my mother's time.
@@floatinglotuswomenswellness I want to go that way too, except I am a solitary. My best friend and magickal working partner lives elsewhere - I've let them know my wishes but it might depend on how quickly they can come... And how much my family wants to interfere 😔
This is kinda morbid, but a funny memory from my grandmother's funeral was my dad and his nine siblings confused as to why their mother looked so...different. They realized it was her jaw, so they asked the funeral director who told them he couldn't find her teeth so had put one of those spacers in. Apparently no one had told him that she had had most of her teeth removed by her 40s and had never worn dentures, so that's why she looked so unnatural. I chuckle every time I think about my dad going "does... does she have teeth?" Much needed moment of levity.
They hooked her up!
@CJ DUNROVIN in both of these stories i think the directors should’ve got your inputs because you knew them and what special things they did
bruh how did she eat
@@shell9918 she gummed her food my dude. Growing up rural and poor, you make due.
@@Vinya One of my brothers is the same - had all his teeth removed young. He went to visit my parents once with dentures and they didn't recognize him! - he's gummed it ever since.
Leave my mouth open, keep my eyes open, and put my hands on my cheeks so I make the Home Alone face 😅
Lena Oxton This girl gets it lol
I LOVE it!
Lena Oxton omg haha i always see you under freako's video's :D Nice to see you here too^^
...and nice name btw xD
Lena Oxton the fact that you are literally tracer makes this twice as good xD can you imagine home alone tracer xF
I was thinking more like The Scream painting
Wow, props to this woman for doing her job extremely well!
Rebelle ikr!
FANCY SEEING YOU HERE !!! hahaha
FUCK THAT .. SHES CREEPY 😒
Wtf is with comments 😒 chill tf out. Oh and agreed. She's caring about them even tho they are 'gone'
Most easy job in the world. Not like the dead will complain or sue her.
I know this video is five years old, but I wanted to comment and say that I was able to use the "rolled-up towel method" for a recently-deceased patient in the hospital where I'm in a chaplaincy internship! The wife was very distressed by her husband's eyes and mouth being open and slack, so the nurse laid him back and closed his eyes, and while we couldn't get his mouth all the way shut we were able to prop up his jaw a bit with the towel and have him look more like he was asleep with his mouth open. It made the sight of him a little less eerie. Thank you for sharing this knowledge!
Good day Sonja, Absolutely you're right and how was your day?
@@gregmiller9608 Stop bothering everyone one here perv.
Wow When my Dad died he was young only 52- he had cancer and he went to hospice - like the very last day (hospice nurses know EXACTLY when it’s going to be time and he was a stubborn Italian :)- so we were there barely a day and when he died he took this deep breath IN and then his mouth was just still open like he was going to say “OOHH” always to me like a hole. Now hearing this I am realizing he didn’t have his teeth in and his jaw opened. I just always wondered about his big breath in and not out. Thank you to everyone who takes care of our loved ones🥰
That is unusual. Every video I’ve seen, the lungs relax & any air is forced out.
I am a retired geriatric nurse, I’ve been there when a lot of people have taken their last breath, but it was one of my patients that taught me the towel method, she was an old school nurses aide, from Columbia. And it was her roommate that passed away that night, so I woke her up and told her about her roommate passing, she got up, took one look and got 2 towels off the linen cart and put one behind her neck, and the other under her chin, I asked her why, and she explained why and that mostly it was for when her family comes. I had to tell her that her family wasn’t coming. So she cussed about that for a minute, collected her thoughts and started praying for her roommate.
Thank you for sharing that memory and Lords peace to her soul.
Sounds like a very interesting lady.
Wow that’s interesting story
May their memories be blessings
It's sad no one came for her. I'd probably have a few choice words if I were the roommate.
I saw my mother's body just a few hours after she died her mouth was closed but her eyes were open her eyes still dark brown she look the same just cold I kissed her and told her she was a great mother. And I love her
Yahel Israel RIP:( I’m sorry for your loss
I have lost my mother too, last spring. I was with her until the end. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was still open with the oxygen mask on her face. That's why I clicked mindlessly on this video.
May Hashem take care of her. Best regards.
My mom died more than a year ago already and I still can’t move on from the loss. I still cry whenever I remember her dying moments at the hospital...
@@amangcaya4468 it will take time but you will get "used" to not having her around and as the years pass by it hurts less and less. Until you can remember her without tears in your eyes
Their eyes Cloud over almost immediately after death.
Me: why is this in my recommended??
Me: *watches anyways*
.. *subscribes*
Nachogirl legit just happened now 🤣🤣🤣
I’m going to be up till 4 am now watching all of these
Nachogirl same.
Nachogirl same..
Nachogirl me too haha
Nachogirl Honestly, that was me a few minutes ago.
I’m a paramedic and when I first had to leave people who have passed away with family, it used to stress me out that I couldn’t keep their mouthes closed. I’m relieved that tying a piece of cloth around the head is an actual method used... my colleagues think I’m mad for doing it; you’ve reassured me I’m not mad by doing it *phew*
Our 18yr old daughter is a CNA at a nursing home and washed her first body today. She didn't know eyes will open back up. I'm sharing these videos with her so she will be more prepared. Thank you!
Not the same but the first time I had a cat euthanised the vet told me you can't close a cat's eyes, they don't have eyelids like we do. And often they cough just after they die, my third cat I said to the vet it makes you jump the first time, she said it still makes you jump the 5000th time! Once you know it's fine, it's the surprises that are freaky.
Wait...eyes open back up???
I worked as a CNA for years and cleaning and prepping the body for the family or mortuary was a job I did a lot. I worked on a long term care wing, and one of the things I would always tell new CNA's was that the people on this wing never leave standing up. They either leave in an ambulance and die at the hospital or they die here and will be leaving with he mortuary workers. because I had so much experience in this aspect of the job, I would assist on other wings when deaths occur there. I also had to educate new CNA's and families about the eyes and the mouths. I had an old LPN tell me about the towels. We would then tuck the sheet up past the towels . Please let your daughter know that she should always leave the head of the bed slightly up also, just a couple inches because sometimes dead bodies drool/foam.
I'm currently training to be a CNA, they haven't talked about postmortem care at all, so I should start taking notes. Postmortem care is incredibly important.
@@bethbesse5485 My very first shift off of training at the long term facility I worked at, with in 5 minutes of clocking in, I was doing my first post mortem care, prepping a man to look nice for his family to come say their good byes. I wish I'd of had a teacher like you! Luckily there was also a hospice nurse with the gentleman, and we were able to work together.
When I die, I want to look dead. I want a Jacob Marley scarf and pennies on the eyes and maybe a plate of bread/salt on the chest that mourners could consume because I'm all about the audience participation.
LOVE IT!!! 😂
You just described my ideal funeral scenario.
im gonna have them remove the bones from mu body and insert a robot. so at my funeral i can stand up and do, the robot.
When she talked about the linen around the chin I was totally thinking Jacob Marley!
yo can i come to your funeral
Dude I have so much respect for morticians and coroners and the doctors who perform autopsies. I’m sure you get used to seeing and working with deceased bodies but that can’t be an easy job so thank you.
You're very welcome and thank you.....
You're welcome. We do get used to it, but there's always that one that tips the scale every now and again.
Dude.
I'm fourteen going on fifteen and I've always been interested in this type of stuff. I want to be a forensic pathologist
@@d0lldaddy That's awesome! Good luck to ya! 🍀😊
My Dad passed away last night in bed and his mouth was completely open just like you showed. I tried to close it but it wouldn't stay. I found this video oddly comforting. Glad to hear that funeral practices are changing and you take a more natural approach these days. I never understood the whole casket thing. When I die, if I'm buried, I want my body just placed in the ground without anything around me so nature can do its thing.
I think one of the most traumatizing aspects of seeing my mother's body within moments of her passing (cancer, but also unexpected) was that her mouth was open and her face just went slack. It was so obvious that LIFE had departed her. I can never forget that look. It's one of the reasons I'm so grateful for your approach to death and education now. As someone who WAS traumatized by seeing a dead body, I know how vital your work is.
Laura P. This is how I saw my grandmother as well. We were able to view her body shortly after she passed at the hospital. I wasn’t expecting to see her mouth open. It’s definitely traumatizing.
I was with my stepdad holding his hand letting him know that it was ok to go and be out of his pain, when he passed of cancer. The craziest thing I've EVER experienced in my lifetime was a minute or 2 before his passing, his eyes opened up as wide as could be all of a sudden. Just like he was looking at the light! They had been closed for at least 3 days, while his body was in the process of shutting down. I guess the nurses at the hospital or at the hospice care facility had not been able to get both of his false teeth out (can't remember if they were the upper or lowers) and after he was gone, it popped out of his mouth. That wasn't something I was expecting at all! His eyes opening all of a sudden really kind of freaked me out when it happened too, I had never been with anybody when they passed.
All together, I am really glad that I was able to be there with him, and my mom (she held his other hand) and I promised him that I would take care of my mom for him and thanked him for being so good to her. I told him how much I loved him and how happy I was to have had him in my life for the 30 years that I did.
He was SO STRONG through his whole time with cancer. I never heard him say he was scared, never saw him cry, and really think I only saw him down about it once the whole time during his treatment period. He was a good man... and there aren't many days that go by that he doesn't make it into thoughts. It's been 7 years since we lost him... and my mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She is just barely at the beginning of the signs, but hey, we are going to make the best of the time that she has! She is my VERY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD! ❤ She and I have so much fun together, we love to cut up and joke, laughing and smiling when we are together as much as possible. The Lord couldn't have given me a better woman as my mother! 🤗
I remember that look when my own mother passed except she was awake and shed said repeatedly since her diagnosis that she wasnt ready to die. She lost her ability to talk the day before but, as she was gasping her last breathes, her eyes looked into mine and I could emotionally "hear" her eyes silently pleading for me to save her. I couldn't. I've never felt so helpless and never felt like more of a failure than at that moment. She wasnt ready......neither was I.
I saw my grandmother and she had her mouth open and that didn't bother me. And one eye was little open. But I still think it was a lovely goodbye.
after 30 minutes of the medical team at the hospital trying to save my mother from unexpected cardiac arrest, I was in to see her after. she (her hands and forehead)were still warm. the intubation? tube had not yet been taken out. After the tech took the tube out, I tried to close her mouth but it wouldnt. It did not bother me much, just knowing she was really gone. thats what hurt. but, I know where she is and would not wish her back.I hope to have stories to tell her when we see each other again just not too soon. we just never know...
how on earth was this in my recommended? I mean, don't get me wrong this was actually interesting, but literally nothing i've ever watched would logically lead me here.
Matt Walker yees same
Same lol and ended up watching, now thinking of subscribing!
ME TOO
Same
same
*I've known living people on whom this would be appropriate.*
Bravo!
*SAVAGE! LOVE IT*
Nicely said!
I see what you did there and i'm enjoying it immensely.
Its so funny as soon she demonstrated it, I was searching the web to get a "shut a mouth" kit..... to give to my friend's girlfriend.... gzzzz the girl can't shut up!!!! ahahhahahhahahha.... (I love her though...) but she can't shut up. : )
When my brother died from liver disease, he was very thin from drinking so much and his death was not peaceful. He was struggling and not on a respirator but had an oxygen mask on his face. Me and his wife and one of his daughters and his best friends stayed in the room those last minutes while he passed. He was gasping for air. When his heart finally stopped and it was over, his face looked frozen, mouth wide and agape, head tilted back, even after the nurse removed the oxygen mask. We stayed in the room a short time, said our final goodbyes and then left but seeing him frozen in that position still haunts me. It was horrifying. I’d seen other relatives die but none that passed with the struggle still showing on their face. I went to the funeral home with his wife the next day because they required a formal ID of the body before cremation and he was laid out, covered by a sheet, but his mouth and eyes had been closed so he looked more peaceful and not terrified. It was comforting to see him like that for the last time I was able to see him at all. It didn’t erase the picture etched in my mind of his death moment, but it did help and that’s what I try to remember. Not everyone dies peacefully in their sleep and it’s not pretty. It is very upsetting to the family , even though we chose to be there those last moments. So thank you to the funeral homes and morticians who make things look better to us living souls who are deep in grief. We wanted to stay till the bitter and ugly end but that’s not the final vision we want to be left with. My mom and dad died peacefully, no oxygen masks or respirators, just went from unresponsive to gone so that’s all I knew. It’s much harder to see a loved one struggle to breathe and die during that struggle.
I am so truly sorry for your loss.💔
@@a.j.9797 thank you. It was really hard and left a scar.
@Belle M. Your comment describes the exact details of my oldest brother's final moments my mom my sister and I along with my oldest son were by his side in the hospital room seeing him struggle to breathe his expression everything though we are grateful we got to spend those last days with him it's definitely still a heartbreaking image to say the least one that'll never leave my mind thank you for sharing my sincere condolences to you and your family God bless
Death is not peaceful usually. The body tries to fight, That is why Hospice nurses are angels in my opinion. They spare the family a lot of trauma, Most people don't know this but a dying person can tell a hospice nurse its time to go , That alone spares the family greatly,
My brother was dying of lung cancer, His breathing was erratic, He would breath, Stop, Restart, Over and over I listened to it, I couldn't handle it no more, Told the nurse I was going home and why I was leaving, She asked me when I was going to return, I gave her a time, She called me about 30 minutes before I was to show back up and said he was gone,
Ill never know exactly what happened, But it sure spared me from memory's I didnt need to have
That sounds like a really painful thing to watch, I'm sorry about your brother
When my Nan was dead, only 15 minutes dead, the staff at the hospital rolled up a towel and put it under her chin to prevent the mouth from opening. It was very kind and dignified. Bless all the staff who work in hospice/ end of life care. You people deserve be more respect.
I'm a bit confused now .. I thought the mouth only opens upon rigor mortis setting in? or later on after the muscles relax once more .. ?
@@attygarland6909 Do you really that that’s an appropriate thing to ask about someone’s dead Nana? This was a real person we’re talking about here. Show a little respect.
@@ASM881 Read my living lips .. I wasn't asking her specifically about it .. I was hoping someone else more knowledgeable than me, maybe even Caitlin herself, would respond to my inquiry ..
@@attygarland6909 If that’s the case (which I doubt) then the place to ask the question would be in the general comment section and not in a response to my original comment. Additionally, if you have such a burning desire for knowledge may I suggest looking it up in a book or library instead of a RUclips comments section?
@@ASM881 Here's a better idea .. why don't you practice closing YOUR mouth? (and while you're at it, YOU pick up a book and learn some English - "You people deserve be more respect." wth???)
When my grandma died in front of me the hospice nurse put a towel under her chill immediately after she died, in till Rigamortis kicked in, for that being my grandma it was pretty traumatizing to see my grandmas jaw drop when she took her last breath. So I am glad the hospice nurse closed her mouth, she ended up looking so peaceful!
Theresa Dunstan I put a towel under my moms jaw as well as she was dying.
Theresa Dunstan rigor mortis?
@@Rrenee86 When my dad passed away (he was found around 7 am by the nursing home staff), I was called up around 9 or 10 am. I went straight to the nursing home, but was told to wait a little until the’ve removed the cloth/bandage/binder around his jaw. When I got to see him (around 11 am, took a cab), he was lying with his mouth (and eyes…) closed. I beleive rigor mortis must have set in, because the jaw didn’t fall down (the very thought of it did scare me a bit).
But he looked very peaceful.
@Nope Nope wow, you're an asshole.
Nope Nope rigamortis like that was popularized through a song and became a common bastardization . The average populace is more likely to be aware of pop culture than medical terminology . May you be blessed to continue to struggle in social situations due to your abrasiveness and lack of casual cognitive understanding of how complex social interactions and hierarchies function .
Great video! I was 18 or 19 when my Grandma died in the hospital. They called my dad and I and we went up there. My dad stopped right outside her room to talk to the nurse while I rushed in to see my Grandma, despite my dad hollering at me to wait or stop.
I was ill-prepared for what I saw, since I had only seen a couple of open casket funerals where the bodies were already fixed.
My Grandma looked terrifying because her eyes (maybe) and mouth were open. My focus was on her mouth because it looked like she died gasping for air or fighting death.
I tried closing her mouth, but it wouldn't cooperate. By then the nurse and my dad had come in the room. All I remember is asking why her mouth was open like that.
Ffs, talking about these things is so much better than being in the dark and unprepared. Thank you for educating people and making death more normal and less scary. You've definitely caused me to reconsider things and to have a different perspective.
Lilly LeDoux same thing happened to me. My 84 year old grandmother was in the hospital after suffering a stroke
My dad and I went up there everyday to see her and talk to her. She knew who I was. About 2 days before Thanksgiving we were set to go up there and talk to the doctors and nurses about what she would do after discharge
I went in the room like normal not thinking anything different. I had no nurses or doctors stop me or my dad. We walked right in and saw her dead. At first glance which was real fast I thought she was asleep but I looked closely and her mouth and eyes were open she had choked to death
I started freaking out this is coming from someone who is afraid of going to funerals. I just about lost it
To make matters worse we had to wait for other family members and the coroner to come. I know I was in that room for hours. I kept getting up and walking out. It was awful
The experience made me fear death even more
@@LeeLeeMc3887 That's terrible you walked in to see her like that with no warning. I like watching and reading Caitlin because she explains things well and isn't afraid to discuss death, which I think is why so many people fear everything about it. We're just too far removed from it.
My nanny died from vascular dementia a few months ago. My dad found her in her bed so when I went to see her before the undertakers moved her, I was expecting her to be peacefully sleep like. She was not. She was laid diagnally across the bed, her mouth agape and her eyes half open. I tried to close her mouth and eyes but rigor had already set in. I think about this a lot and worry she died in pain. Thank you for sharing your experienes, it helped me to feel less alone with those fears.
@@banditobambino As a parent, I did the same thing my parents did, which was to not discuss those things in a misguided effort to protect my children. In reflecting back on my own shocking experience though, I do think avoiding those difficult and unpleasant things can do more damage. So sorry you had a similar experience, but glad my sharing helped you.
I feel for you, sorry you lost your grandma. I took care of my grandma after she went terminal with her cancer and it is really hard to see your grandma pass away. If it means anything the last thing my grandma said the day before she slipped into a coma and passed away was my grandpa was there with pretty purple flowers for her and he was waiting for her. My grandpa passed away short after I turned 16 in 1992 and that gave me comfort knowing he was there to guide her where she needed to go and it will be the same thing for all of us when it's our time. I hope this give you some comfort in knowing that her family members that have passed away before your grandma passed away were there with her so she wasn't alone. I do hope you are doing ok.
That was done by the hospital for my Daddy and my Gramma. They very delicately and respectfully placed a rolled up towel under the chin. They made sure we were comfortable with it. We were asked if we were going to be alright with it and they explained why it was being done. We were able to stay as long as we wanted. We were still able to kiss them,hug them and hold their hand. They were so kind.
Good day Michele, Absolutely you're right and how was your day?
I’m a hospice nurse, and one of the most common questions I get from a family after their loved one has passed is if I can please close their mouth. I usually tell them that mortuary will take care of it, but sometimes families are really insistent. In those cases, I use the scarf or towel method. Good to know they’re mortician approved!
Wow who's that bougie in death is got to be white people who gives a fuck about Grandmas mouth being open she's dead that's what I be worried about
Have you heard about the little neck brace like contraptions made out of biodegradable material? Think it’s cornstarch even. They’re supposedly rather discrete and doesn’t require any special training to use. I’m not in the industry myself, but I’m a former medical warehouse worker where those postmortem neck braces were one of the many many products we sent out to hospitals and other institutions. It’s called NorMors chin collar and they break down in just about a week after application/opening that collar. Just thought I’d mention those things since it might be of help in places like a hospice
@@ReyOfLight Thank you for telling us about the chin collar. I googled it and watched a quick video on it. I never knew of such a thing. I believe that it would he nice if all medical facilities kept them in supply.
@@Utriedit215 there's a reason all dead people are pale letisha
@@NavyWife No problem. Just thought I’d mention its existence as they could be a quick and easy, and environmentally friendly way to prepare a body for viewing in a hospital, hospice or nursing home setting, but hey, those collars may even work as an alternative to sewing the mouth shut and other more invasive methods that requires a morticians knowledge and skill. I wouldn’t know exactly though as I’ve never seen the contraption in use, I just worked in the supply chain
Well now I’m wondering what method was used for my brother’s body for his wake last week. The mortician did an excellent job. I picked out his favorite jeans,socks,shoes one of my tshirts he had stolen from me awhile ago and the new field and stream jacket I got him for Christmas and his ugly Detroit Lions hat he loved so much. He definitely looked like himself and that was very comforting. Rip Tim
Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you dressed him pretty cool. Wearing his favorite things! 👍
@@maryannswanson3832 my mother wanted to put him in a suit, I knew he would have hated that. He loved hunting,fishing and the Detroit Lions. When my family saw him they were very happy I picked that out for him. He looked very natural. He died from an overdose at home, I was the one who found him. It’s been hard in me but if it was anyone I’m glad it was me and not his 17 yr old son or my parents. I miss him so much. He battled his heroin addiction for 20 years he is now at peace. His war is over.
So sorry for your loss.
@@lainielady thank you, I miss him dearly
God Bless you Matt your one of a kind brother
She is intelligent and speaks and moves so well, should be an actress.
Nia Imani-Diarra She is already in a movie. She plays Human Shrek.
:D
such a compliment.
I found her beautiful and fun
Well when abby leaves ncis i recommend her as a replacement.
When my grandmother died, it had only happened a few minutes prior to me seeing her body. I was expecting to see her mouth open, but actually seeing it brought back jarring memories of when my mom read "A Christmas Carol" to me as a child. I remembered Marley's ghost being described with a cloth tied under his chin, and at the end of the scene he untied it, letting his maw drop open in a ghastly display. When I saw her mouth open, a horrid mirror of the image in my mind, I grabbed a piece of ribbon and tied her mouth closed.
My mother was surprised that I knew to do that.
I wanna donate my heart just so my tombstone will say:
Here lies Danny. Heartless as always.
10/10!! 👏👏
Or “as heartless as ever”
🤣
i wanna be buried with my ass sticking out , so people can kiss it the last time, OR park their bike, whatever they want. :-)
“I’m sorry but my heart belongs to someone else.”
I was like "that must be so painful!"
...and then I realized.
I mean, depends who you ask, but possessed corpses might be a thing.
@Kim Kala Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
@@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967 You must be a blast at parties.
@@clbl8706 Haven't been to any parties lately, but given my sense of humor, IDK.
So i'm not the only one who felt the needle going through their nose....😬
Tbh at the part where you said you'd look ridiculous you do a lovely demonstration and manage to look totally graceful and pretty.
TXM yep. Agreed.
TXM
...🙄 you got Insta tho?
Agreed
Haha, agreed. But I've got the RUclips crush thing going anyway so probably biased
TXM lol she was very pretty right there.
When my mother passed her lips were sewn together. The sutures had lipstick on them to try and hide them. I will never forget the horrible feeling I had when I saw it.
My aunt passed away in the hospital a year ago, and I saw her right afterwards. It has really bothered me the way that her mouth was open... like she was screaming in pain. To know that it’s completely normal since muscles are relaxed brings me peace. Thank you.
Sweetheart, so sorry that nobody told you and you had that in your mind for a whole year. Please folks don't let this happen and be open about all the things that happen to us when we die, it saves so much trauma and heartache in the long term. Take good care of you Erica
The last time I saw my grandmother alive her the muscles in her jaw had relaxed already and it was so scary to see. That was over 2 months ago at this point.
Good day Erica, Absolutely you're right and how was your day?
So so sorry. That's awful
I've never had a bad one. Thank God. It's so devastating then something like that happens.
This video was jaw-dropping.
Peasme Hasselberg lol
That was mortifying 😏
Lol
Peasme Hasselberg o
This comment has me dead
When I first became a nurse in 1980 I didn't know to immediately place the dentures in the deceased persons mouth. My head nurse came in to inspect my post mortem care and told me to get the dentures in. Well at that point it took a lot of effort cause if mandibular stiffness. Once I got them in I turned to wash my hands cause back the. They didn't use gloves and when I turned to look at PT all I saw was a huge smile. Her dentures had lifted up. I gasped. Her family came in and said. Awww she looks so happy. Phew.
Whoa
Oh my...I would have fainted....
Donna Romano 1980 was a good year. The year I was born! 😂
+Kee Kee me too
Spooky
My grandpa and grandma passed away last year 11 days apart. My grandpa passed away at night quietly in his bed. My grandma passed away surrounded by her loved ones. She was in her bed and we tried to make her comfortable even in her last minutes. We could tell the time was coming. She wanted to sit up so my dad held her up in his arms. I held her hand and other cousins and aunts touched her telling her we loved her. As we realized the moment was happening, we laid her back in her bed and then she passed. It is something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. It was a beautiful death. She was 97. Her birthday would have been the following week. After she passed, we put a rolled up towel under her chin and put her arms straight on her side until they came to pick up the body. They did a great job on her for the wake. She looked like a saint.
I'm so sorry for your loss :(
That IS a beautiful way to go. You guys did great.
It's been a year since both my grandpa and grandma passed. I miss them and am sad but I'm not grief stricken. I can look at their pictures and old videos and smile.
I'm sure that outpour of love was incredibly comforting in her final moments before she parted. I know I'd want to go that way as well. You guys did wonderfully.
omg, that’s the way to do it! that is quite literally “how i want to go out”, surrounded by loved ones pouring their love out to me 🥹🤍
that’s a beautiful final moment y’all gave to your grandma + grandpa 🤍
3:50 explains the scarf that Jacob Marley's ghost wore in A Christmas Carol. Thank you!
Yes! Thank you! I was wondering where that looked familiar...
Indeed! It finally makes sense to me now.
The more you know...
Whoa, i never thought of that! I thought he just had a toothache or something when he went LOL
Wow! I've always wondered that. Thanks
I had that exact thought!
This is the creepiest experience I've ever had. I went to see my dead grandmother, I was putting some flowers in the coffin and i felt her cold dead hands, but being 12 years old I didn't know that the towel was to keep the mouth shut, so, I thought that the towel was getting in the way of the flowers, and I removed it, mouth open, creepiest moment ever.
well, that's definitely a story to tell small children in the future now!
My great grandmother had double mastectomies when she was in her 40s. My mom says in her 80s, she never wore any sort of breast stuffing. She just embraced her flat chest. So in the early 1980s when she died the funeral home stuffed her bra a lot. Like, a lot. Everyone was disgusted. Her own husband (my great grandfather) approached the casket and said "she's got bigger breasts than she ever did when alive!" But he wasn't being funny. He was disappointed. She didn't look like my great grandmother as my great grandmother DIDN'T have breasts.
How could someone change how another's loved one looked in life? They're supposed to present them at peace, natural, as they were... not what the directors think they should look like...
thank you for highlighting the idiocy of a funeral and why I am having no funeral. why anyone would allow their dead body to be on display is something I have never understood. the important part of a person, the soul or spirit, is long gone and the display is pointless and IMO ghoulish.
That’s so unfortunate! I remember when my grandma passed she was my best friend and we talked literally 20’times a day. They asked us for a photo of her on a normal day and made her looked just like that! She looked so peaceful.
My husband's mouth during his viewing was barely slumped down sort of. But at his service, a few days later, it was a lot more. Our sons were 5 and 7 and they didn't understand why he looked like that and the FD had us step into the hallway and when we came back in it was normal looking. Kids were much happier, I was too. It was really a disturbing but kind thing to do.
I'm so so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your sons are keeping on alright. 💪🏻❤
Before there is ANY viewing, the FD or rep will check to ensure all is in order! If they notice anything untoward, it will be rectified. Once happy, the family may view the deceased. 🇬🇧🇬🇧
"How do you close your mouths?"
Thanks for asking Caitlin, I usually use my jaws.
Lol, a scathing insult would also do the trick... have me looking like 🙊
Usually.
Sometimes my wife shuts it for me.
How did I go from eczema relief to this
Theirly dude I was just watching stuff about wisdom teeth but that makes a little more sense to be led here from that than eczema lol
😂😂😂😂
LOLOLOL
Theirly that's the beauty and entertainment of RUclips!! Lmao.
I got here from a Russian video of a guy on a construction site feeding a wild bear...
3:23 "Sorry Mr Johnston..." My heart sinks.
😄
LMAO
Brandon Johnston 😮
So funny to see your remark because as she said I thought ‘I wonder if any of her customers will think she’s referring to their relative?’
I remember when my father died! The Amazing hospital staff prepared my father's body so as his family arrived! Was presented respectfully! Our mother was with him as he passed away! They rolled a towel under his chin closing his mouth. 7 of the 8 children came. Paid our final respects. Honor for the hospital staff!
I just randomly came across your channel. And to answer your question at the end....
I'm 21 years old now, but on Halloween of 2012, my boyfriend and I were walking and he got hit by a truck and died.. And his parents wanted an open cakset, but I didn't. And he was in pretty bad shape due to the accident, and I'm not sure what happened but you could see the wire they used. You could see it through his lips and in his nose. Its the last image I have of him in my mind.
Open caskets aren't always the best. I prefer to visually remember them alive.
Love your channel by the way!
I dont really know how to phrase this to really express how I feel, but that just really sucks a whole lot of ass. I'm really sorry you had to go through that and that the last memory of your boyfriend is seeing him in such an unnatural state.
The last time I saw my grandmother. She looked at peace and they did a great job on her. That's the last image I have of her being. If I hadn't gone the last image would have been when she was very sad state as the caner killing her slowly. SO it all depends at the end.
Lyndsie Makena Official I’m deeply sorry for you loss. My bf passed away in Oct. I’m feeling your pain. No one should have to go through this. 🖤✨
You sound a lot like my stepdad. As long as I've known him, he's only viewed the corpse at a funeral once. His own mom. Otherwise, he's always refused to enter the room where the casket is. In his own words, "I want to remember them alive."
For me, there's too much of a morbid curiosity, to deny myself a look. And I've never been to a funeral involving a person who got messed up bad. The only person I knew who died in such a way ( got drunk and crashed a motorcycle at 120mph ) was cremated. So I can safely say I've no idea how that must have been for you, but you have my sympathy. It sounds traumatic, honestly....
Lyndsie Makena Official I must see the deceased! Or I can’t believe they’re gone. 🤷🏻♀️
My grandfather passed away on 30th September, and I was here for him in his last moments. I grew up with him as my father, since my genitor decided we weren't worth his time.
I can't describe all the pain I felt.. I stayed with him all night long, as nurses told me he wouldn't be on the move before the morning. So I took care of him as all the family gathered, and held his mouth shut until a nurse placed a transparent hoop.
He was everything to me. A few months ago he was still with me, playing football or table tennis, or even pool, in the beautiful house and garden he built himself during his architect career.
I'm not a believer but for him I need to believe.. Otherwise there is no point.
I've been watching this channel a lot recently, maybe to help me cope. It's been tough, it will still be. Thank you caitlin for your work.
Now, I need to take care of my grandmother, which is still incredibly fit and beautiful at 84, but she doesn't know what to do now that her husband for 65 years is gone. She told me she wants to join him, I get it, but I need her still.
I don't have that many people to talk to, and I've been working hard to not think too much, but it doesn't seem to do any good.
so I vented here.. Sorry about this
Hugo - there is always someone a phone call away. They may not know you but they know your pain. Reach out to grief support groups or a grief helpline. I hope you find your own meaning and carry on with your Grandma. Your Grandpa sounds like a great man who left behind wonderful memories and tangible benefit to his community.
I stayed with my grandparents when I was a kid because my parents had to work a lot. When my Grandad died, I started sleeping next to my Gran, because she would often cry at night. I would take her hand and give her my support, since (as a 10year old) I really had no idea what to say. A week before she herself passed on (20 years later), I suddenly felt the need to go stay with her and sleep next to her one more time - she was getting forgetful but still remembered how I used to sleep in my Grandad's bed for a long time and we talked & laughed the whole night... This made letting go much easier for me. But as a woman, that might have been a different situation, what with me being in the same bed 😉 maybe looking through some old photo albums will be something that cheers the both of you up?
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy when we lose someone we are used to leaning on. Makes the whole world seem topsy turvy. Sit and talk to your grandma. She needs that. Or just sit and hold her hand. You will both benefit from each other's company.
Hi Hugo so sorry for your loss
I took care of my dad until the end it’s been 8 years still miss him terribly
Hope the best for you and grandma 🌼☀️🌸
Love will guide you and help you continue on. It doesn't get easier with time, only that you get better dealing with it. Remember the good and the love and cling to that with all your heart.
I'm a palliative care nurse and when I'm preparing the body for the family viewing them right after death (even if they were in the room when it happened) I ask for five mins to get the body straight, remove any medical devices it's safe for me to remove, roll a towel for the jaw and if the eyelids won't stay shut I use some Vaseline and that usually does the trick.
What’s the vaseline for?
@@gottabesandi sticky.
The eyes were always the hardest. Wish I had known about the vaseline.
I remember the Hospice nurse asked us to step out when Mom died so she could “clean her up.” Hospice is incredible.
" *If* the eyes won't stay shut.." is the scariest sentence I've ever read! What do you mean? Maybe the person isn't dead, if their eyes keep re-opening! *shudders*
Thank you so much for this informative video Caitlin!💗
My family sadly lost our beloved father just recently and we wanted to prepare him by ourselves as we think he would have wanted it. We washed him, suited him well and got him readied up but we were troubled by the lack of knowledge of how to handle the mouth and eye problem. That's when i came across your video and saw you using a tie!
I live in Finland and it's more accustomed here to let the funeral director do the preparing but we felt that it is our duty and honor to make him proud of his appearance. We ironed his clothes and put some spring flowers in he's chest pocket. Our father was always precise of his outfits. We miss him dearly everyday 💗
God, I'm cringing just hearing you describe all needles-through-the-gums business.
Tell me about that...
As someone who's now very pierced, it doesn't really bother me
Why not use super glue?
Same here! Yikes!
@@alphagt62 not a guaranteed fix.
My brother died in a car accident 7 years ago he was pretty busted up from what the police and the people at the morgue said when we went to identify him I saw his head but the rest of him was covered in a white sheet and i ran out because seeing him there hit me like a sledge hammer.
So a little while passes and the emotional pain had subsided enough that i went to see him in the funeral home before the funeral where he had his clothes on and whatever damage that could be fixed was fixed and I distinctly remember having a million questions going through my head about how they did all those things like keep his mouth shut fix the wounds shut the eyes and everything. Never told anyone about it because I've always thought it was a bit strange and would be seen as disrespectful since instead of mourning (which I had done and still do on my own) the main thoughts in my head were how the morticians did all these things.
So for that little bit of clarification and closure I thank you and subbed
Joe Frayling sorry for your loss. I was definitely the same way when my grandmother passed. I felt so strange and out of place because while I was mourning, I was also crazy curious over how everything worked.
I had a family friend that died in a bad motorcycle accident. They did the best they could for his face, but it was still severely swollen and didn't look like him. Then the day of the funeral, they had to pause and get everyone out. When we came back in for the final service, the lid was closed on his coffin. He had so much damage to him that the embalming wasn't holding and he started decomposing. It was vary startling to realize that he was decomposing so quickly with all of us in the room.
I felt the same way when my mother died.
@@elizabethyoung4469 more than likely he had what's called tissue gas, its caused by the bacteria clostridium perfingens, and unfortunately once it starts its very hard to stop and impossible to reverse. I'm so sorry you had to see your loved one that way.
My brother passed in the same way 3 years ago. I couldnt look at him. He was cremated and we poured his ashes in the ocean off the San Diego coast where we grew up and he loved surfing. I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a brother puts a hole in your heart that is never repaired.
So those movies where zombies come out their Graves it looks like they won't be able to bite
The mockumentary book "The Zombie Survival Guide" actually mentions this--graveyards would be relatively safe, since not only are the dead buried in wooden or metal boxes fairly deep underground, but they're also in such a state (heavily embalmed, jaws wired shut, etc.) that any zombies they produce are no threat to humans. Far more dangerous are the freshly-dead, in hospitals and morgue freezers and places like that.
Cool! I never even thought of that!
Jonathan Kruger graves*
@@yammmit THANK YOU! (You don't have to correct my *all caps*... it's just for emphasis.) ;)
@Pancake Syrup but still they'd be buried underground in a closed coffin, these things are pretty hard to open, and considering the weight of the earth on top? A zombie wouldn't be able to get out. But if the corps is fresh, and just lying on a table in the hospital, that's where the danger is at
I'm so glad that there's people out there that would take this job because I no way in hell can be a mortician😭😭
I want to be one so badly. Either an embalmer or a funeral director. But I can’t go to mortuary school right now due to health and it makes me upset.
I don't want to be 'viewed' dead.... period. Open mouth, closed mouth, hooha agape, I don't care. Just throw some dirt on me and let me be. Remember me alive. Once you see a loved one dead you can never unsee that. It forever clouds your memories of that person.
Interesting. I've never lost a close family member to know this. But I've always wondered if when they die should I go see them... Would I regret not seeing them? would I regret seeing them? Love to know what you think since it's sounds like you had some experience with it by saying you can't unsee ...
bebebutterfield1 So true... On August 1st I saw my mom die at the ICU (she was in coma) and 2 hours later at the morgue. Despite she looked like she was sleeping I cant forget about it... it really clouds my memories of her...
Wednesday Addams RIP! Hope you’re doing okay
Yes, I'm fine. I was expecting it since it was because of pancreatic cancer (the worse cancer...), but I didnt expect her to leave that quickly... But I was prepared...
Wednesday Addams Best wishes for you, hun! You’re a very strong person!
I think lips often look "pursed" As a priest, I was fortunate to see my first dead (not prepared) body in the hospital, as a seminary student....in the middle of the night with only a couple of family present and 2 nurses. Everyone was invited to take their time (it was also the weekend)...the mother was only in her 50's...yet looked so calm. We took time to pray and hold her hand...while the nurses disconnected her from all the equipment. Am so thankful for that experience. It prepared me in so many ways to get past this pasty face, stiff death had seen before. I could hold a still born baby and give that child last rites, with a kiss...
You do such holy work. Thank you.
Other morticians: let's spend hours trying to weave through the mouth to keep it closed
Caitlin: I just use a towel
The embalmer at my funeral home can suture a mouth shut in literally 10 seconds.
I was thinking glue or putty was gonna be the nice way.... No towel.
The hitchhikers guide never lies
I’ve never wanted to be buried and just accepted cremation as the only alternative. A few years ago I started hearing about composting but nothing has gotten me actually engaged until this channel. I’m learning so much I love it! 🎉❤
How are you so hilarious yet still respectful? 😂
Answer: she's not.
Celina C Yeah, most of these documentaries are dead funny, like a certain humorous, creepy, cooky, family (snap, snap).
When I die I don't even want to have a funeral let alone a seeing. Just the thought of people starring at me when I'm dead kinda scares me... Also funerals are expensive, I hope no one has to deal with that later
Yeah, like me. Directly into the furnace (or aquamation if that's here when I go) then a nice little memorial party. With all my favourite foods, so lots of chocolate, bacon and pizza.
But that's why u have life insurance
Jimmy S I’m sorry for your loss
SakurakoO.O I feel the same way
SakurakoO.O I kinda feel the same way. I don’t believe in funerals. Once you die your soul/consciousness or whatever has left. Your body is just an empty vessel at that point. Just cremate me, scatter my ashes in the ocean, and go about your business. If you want to jazz it up play “amazing grace” before you dump the ashes, “yakety sax” during the dumping, and then the “looney tunes” theme at the end.
When you were talking about the teeth replacers, I was thinking "but wouldn't that hurt?"
Then I remembered they're dead
Actually, they do far more painful things to you while you're alive during surgery, but under anesthetic.
I was thinking the same or the subconscious hurting me part I’m not sure why but I can always slightly feel things when hearing or seeing it done.
My father died breathing through his mouth so his jaw was wide open and he was half sitting up. My sister and I were right there when he passed, so we laid him down and closed his eyes and jaw immediately before any rigor mortis could kick in. I remember my sister closing his mouth, but for the life of me, I can't remember what we did to keep it closed.
Okay so what's your preferred method of closing living people's mouths though, coz that's a skill I could really use
I would assume a swift kick to the jaw possibly
Food
I have a really effective way of shutting people up... a size 13 steel toe boot
😂
Super glue works pretty damn good.
People can take what they want of mine when I die, except my eyes. I’ve got this really irrational fear that I’ll still be able to see. I know I won’t be able to, y’know, cause I’ll be dead... but damn, ain’t no one having my eyes.
JessicaAmy145 They'll rot badly tho
JessicaAmy145 I have a similar fear. I want to be buried with my eyes and tongue, take whatever else.
WillowRustle64 mine won’t, I’ll be cremated
My dad is exactly the same, his eyes are his eyes, he’s fine with everything else being donated or whatever but his eyes are not to leave his body
JessicaAmy145 I thought I was the only one!
When my uncle died in the hospital. They left him as he died slumped over mouth contorted eyes open. They left him like that for hours. Took years to stop seeing that. I felt so sorry for his daughter.
I heard a simillar story from a friend of mine, when her grandma died she was in the fetal position and just like you mentioned with her face in a horrible contorted grimace. And apparently even though she died in the hospital, the hospital staff never cared to move her into a more natural position for rigor mortis set in. So when she eventually had to be placed into a casket they literally broke both her legs to straighten them out. Thats really messed up shit....
I have a chronic illness and am in and out of the hospital a lot. One time when I was being admitted, a guy was being wheeled in who has the face Caitlin made to demonstrate what a real dead body looked like: eyes wide open and mouth completely gaped. The next day I was going for a walk and say the guy was in the room next to me with still the same expression but now really pale. It was very haunting and unsettling. A few hours later when I went for another walk, his room was empty and bed made. I overheard the nurses saying that they already informed the family and he had been taken away to the morgue. It was such a mix of emotions from “omg, I accidentally watched a guy die 😳” to wondering what had happened to feeling a little sorry that he was alone. I can still see exactly what his face looks like too, that was years ago.
Carolina Murtha that must’ve been horrifying oh my god 😳😳sorry to hear about your illness, wish you the best of luck to you and your family
@@carolinamurtha3102 free
My mother lost her eyes completely.at 75 and when she passed away at 95 (2014) they didn't put her glass eyes in. I barely recognised her at the viewing as her eye sockets were deeply sunken. We were a bit pissed off about this bcoz surely they knew she shouldn't have been.presented like that. Apart from that we couldn't fault her funeral. But seriously.
I feel like I'm 6 years too late, but I think this might be relevant to the discussion! I'm a medieval archaeologist from Portugal. There are lots of Early-Medieval rock-cut graves around the mountain range of Serra da Estrela (dating back to the 9th-10th centuries). They're simple pits cut on the granite bedrock. Some are simply oval, but they often have an anthropomorphic profile, having been shaped to tightly accommodate the (probably shrouded) deceased. In some of these instances, there's a transversal shallow notch cut at neck level, in which a wooden support was probably fit to keep the mouth shut, not unlike your rolled towel method!
that's fascinating, thank you for sharing!! (even if it's an old video)
It feels like suddenly, I realize how far we will go to lie to ourselves about even the most unavoidable debt we all must pay.
That is the best comment I've read on here!
I'm so creeped out but I'm interested and conflicted
It’s the “creepy” version of pimple popping videos
I'm a writer so I think a stack of my favorite books stuffed under my jaw and propped up by my boobage would be just fine. Or leave my mouth gaping open and stuff some flowers in there.
that would actually be pretty cool!
toxigenic hahahah i want some flowers in my mouth too😁😂
toxigenic I think in my case, stuffing it with chocolate would be more natural than having it closed
RunningRabbit Lmao I’m imagining a mouth full of chocolate
RunningRabbit okay chocolate is a great idea, but as a ghost i don't want to see a ton of ants in my mouth lol
Thanks for this. As a critical care nurse I am glad to know that you have multiple ways of dealing with the open mouth. We were told that if we didn’t put the dentures in that it would create terrible problems and that if we failed to tie the mouth closed that the mortician would have to break the jaw! Our biggest problem was when the patient had facial lividity and fluids in the mouth in the open mouth scenario and the family wanted to see the loved one. We always did our best because we wanted that last visit and wanted it to be a comfort rather than a trauma. I think in the immediate aftermath, that people are dealing with the shock. So, blankets, a pillow with a crisp white pillow case, hands exposed and clever use of lighting as well as ample use of suction and a thorough wash of whatever needs it and a patient gown is helpful.
I don't really mind what's done to me after I die. Mouth nailed or sewn shut, it's all good.
Hell, cremate me and use my ashes as confetti for all I care.
*kas :* Hahahah, I freaked out when I saw this in my notifications without any context. "Get yourself turned into a tree" sounds like a really good insult lol.
Good idea though! I think I'll request for that.
Sosuke Aizen I laughed and cringed at your comment, lol. Whatever gets ya off bro. XD
Such Gnostic contempt for the body
i think the same
try donating your body to science if it's a thing in your country. I signed some paperwork so that after I die, med students can use my body for educational purposes
So my great aunt died this year, in middle of this pandemic,
she died at home, on may 10, yes, mother's day here in Colombia 🇨🇴.
My dad was her doctor and he did everything he could, but it was too late, she was and will always be more of a grandma for me.
There's something I still can't get over and it's i saw her turn like yellow, I know, the process, but the impression of seeing her mouth still opened, just haunted me.
I was the one to close her beautiful eyes, so thankful for it.
And I was there for my family.
Thanks for reading.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
So, very sorry for your loss..💕💗💕
Thank you for your lovely words! ❤️😪❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you got so much from closing her eyes for her. When my mother passed the yellowing was the thing that most stayed with me, too. She'd always had a bit of a Mediterranean skin tone, but she went really sallow, and then full on jaundice yellow after passing.
Weirdly (?) though, I think it helped me - she was visibly not herself, because the fundamental her-ness* had gone. I could let go of the body because I knew it what just that, a vessel no longer used.
I hope you and your family have found a similar peace/way of coping, and that you know she will always be with you in one way or another x
"No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away" - Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett
*essence/spirit/soul/personality, whatever you class it as. My mother was a spiritualist, and I know she felt her body was the transport needed in this life, but that the real her was within it and would go on to the next chapter of her journey.
I totally understand this. My dad died of liver cancer in hospice and was very yellow. We waited for about 6 hours or so for my brother to fly in to see him before we let them take his body and by that time his mouth was open and I couldn't shut it easily. I really hated that.
I firmly believe that funerals and the associated rites and practices are for the living. I'd prefer my loved ones to do whatever helps them grieve and mourn because I can't offer them any comfort once I'm gone. I've told my mum that I want a natural burial (me+shroud+hole in the ground) but if having me embalmed and shut away in a vault makes the process as painless and fulfilling (its an odd choice of word but it's the only one I can think of) as its ever going to be, then I'm happy for her to do that. All that remains of the dead is bones and ash, it's the living who have heartache and memories. Death is never an easy thing to deal with but giving people a say in how their loved ones are remembered helps them to find their way forward, especially in traumatic deaths where there's an overwhelming sense of helplessness.
It's true. I could never make sense of why spend so much money sometimes- the person's gone now, but the people left have to greive and I think it does help some, I guess it all depends on culture/ upbringing etc.
Agree!
Finally someone gets it! It's mostly for the living. I waited with my family while my cousin who passed away got cremated and it was actually more traumatic watching him get placed in this huge oven-like machine and come back as ashes. I guess, seeing them go .. you just kind of beg for more time.
Exactly! I told my husband that I don't really care what he does. I assume he'll cremate me since that's cheaper and money's always tight. I just told him to throw a few of my ashes onto my son's grave and do whatever he wanted with the rest of me. I won't care. I'll be dead.
I'm sorry for your loss my love.
The cost of a burial can be astronomical and even cremations get pricey. I never understood the purpose of a fancy casket (beyond the service and viewings) because it's just gonna get covered in dirt or set ablaze. Ideally I'd like a giant funeral pyre as a centrepiece for a fullmoon sabbat/party with lots of food, alcohol, and celebration involve. But ya know. Practicality. It ruins everything @@thisismyutoob
Something I'd like to pass along.
I completed a 3 yr apprenticeship in mortuary science.
Something I discovered REALLY bothered me.
The funeral director I worked under wore a LOT of gold. Custom made jewelry.
One day while on call I was dispatched to pick up a case at a local hospital.
I had forgotten my tie...I called my boss and informed him I 1st needed to stop and buy one.
He told me to stop by his residence and someone would let me get one of his ties.
So...I'm standing in his closet looking for a tie that matched my suit.
I look up and there on a top shelf was a "Gerber" baby jar FULL of gold fillings.
I knew immediately what I was looking at, and knew now why he had so much custom gold jewelry.
So...if you are aware of a loved one who has gold fillings. Make it known during the arrangement of the funeral.
Once the procedure is complete they also super glue the lips shut...there is no opening of the mouth after this is done.
Just an fyi.
Worked in a nursing home for quite a few years when I was young. With that kind of work comes a lot of death, of course. I found that very few people died with family surrounding them. Family is usually called right away and will want to see their loved one right away. People don't understand that death is not a pretty sight and I never wanted someone to remember their parent or grandparent that way. It was always a scramble to get the deceased cleaned up, in a nice nightgown or pajamas of their own. We weren't supposed to be working with the deceased alone but such is life in a nursing home. The first time I had to work with someone who had just passed, I was alone and I didn't know what to do about her mouth, which kept slowly gaping open! I rolled up towels and stuck under her chin, didn't work, so I used one of her scarves to tie her chin to her head. I felt absolutely horrible about this, like I was disrespecting her. And then her eyes started coming open. I couldn't keep them closed so I put quarters, like you see in movies. It didn't work. By this time an experienced person came in and showed me to use wet cotton balls, which did work. Her eyes and mouth finally "set" for lack of better word. Scarf and cottonballs removed. We finished with clean linens, cleaning up the room, and by this time the family had arrived. I wish more care was given to teaching people who work in nursing homes how to ready a resident for their family to see.
I also worked in a nursing home when I was a teenager. You are right, death is not glamorous the way Hollywood makes it seem. We had no viewing options for loved ones. Instead just putting them in a big bag on a gurney away from view. The loved ones had to do their viewing at a funeral home. This was in Michigan in the early 80's I don't know if it was by law or the nursing home rules?
I worked in a nursing home also, night shift and they never really mentioned what to do until a death happened on ur shift. All I did was I cleaned up the body cause we couldn't send it to the funeral home dirty and as u know most of the time people lose control of their bodily fluids. Then put a new hospital gown on them and stretch the body straight and closed the mouth. Just basic knowledge stuff and then helped load them up in the funeral stretcher. Yeah I agree nobody really explained anything to u. But that did help me prepare for when my mom died, so I would know what to do for her.
@AunyxTMThe quarters is what you see on TV but they weren't heavy enough and slid off of her face. To this day I am embarrassed I tried this. With wet cotton balls (not sopping wet, btw) it's just enough weight to hold the eyes of the recently deceased closed. Later on I saw other staff use a piece of transpore tape to hold a cotton ball over the closed eyes but I never did this because the elderly have really fragile skin and I was afraid to damage their face.
I literally had to do this a couple of weeks ago ! And as you say no body tells you how to do it ! I had a 16 stone man draped over my shoulder while my colleague and I tried to get a clean shirt on him ...I ended up titling his head with cushions so his mouth was barely open ...he looked pretty good considering! But there should be training as you say it's common in nursing homes and as a night worker I've had 3 in 5 months that i was left till morning with !! 😕
@@rebeccaann5364 I'm thankful for my years spent working in a nursing home too. I was able to care for my Dad in my home. He did not want home visits from a nurse or aide. I managed everything from his medication to his meals and showering. He was bed bound - bed to chair, bed to shower-chair, you get the idea. Bilateral above-the-knee amputee, suprapubic catheter, horrible for him, though I'd be lying if I said these conditions didn't make it easier to care for him and provide him a better quality of life. I know it must have hurt him emotionally but he loved me so much that his stoicism was my strength for five years. He died in his sleep, at home, with me. Until now, it never occurred to me that I didn't need to close my Dad's eyes. Even in death, he was still the strong one.
When my dad died in 1997, I had to go see him in the mortuary. They had a bandana tied under his chin and up around his head. It made him look like he had a toothache, so it wasn't so scary to see him. Good video!
Sew my mouth shut. I know a nephew of mine is gonna yank the rolled towel, and I wanna look dignified instead of slack jawed before all my guests 😂
It is your party but after all. Lol
We all have that one kid in the family who would😂
😂😂
Well... it is kind of settling for me to know, that there will be a person, that will try to make me look "not like a dead person" when I pass away. Thank you, Mortician lady.
I want my body to be left as I died, so when I rise as a zombie and go looking for my ex-husband to snack on, I won't need to find a pair of scissors first.
kneuromancer 😂😂😂
kneuromancer I like your pragmatic way of thinking!
kneuromancer damn that was funny!!
I laughed so hard at that
kneuromancer hffgjhffhhugf ch kkopiòjhggghjhgfgghhjjjhgfghhhbkkhgbhjkhgghhjkjhhhhjjjjjnbbbnnnjjhhh&hhhhnhnhnjjjjjjjjhhhjhhhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkkkkkkjjjh jjj*.x777^^//#56&&&^77654433457776^&&^7754666556467764764455578756688865777655676556655556765566655566666655556677776666676656886^/6&87&^&*(**)***(*&&^^*((&^^
Well, I've always wondered why Jacob Marley had his head tied up in "A Christmas Carol". Now I know!
My thought exactly!
That's such a cool thing to know!
Me too!
Same here...
I thought he had died of a tooth ache.. lol
What’s the most “ Oh shit I forgot to do that !” Moment you’ve ever had during a viewing? If any
That’s a good question
I’m curious about that too lol
No answer after 8 months... Hope Caitlin does a video on it.
I remember hearing that Tom Savini (special FX makeup artist for a great many horror movies) had a major pet peeve watching other movies where the actors would "die" but keep their mouths closed. This man has seen alot of dead bodies (particularly during the Vietnam war) which is how he knew dead bodies have open mouths, and seeing a supposed "dead body" in a movie with a closed mouth would take him out of the story.
Good day Gabby, Absolutely you're right and how was your day?
Um, I'm pretty sure I could've lived the rest of my life without knowing this. However, curiosity is my weakness.
Same here 😂 But I can't believe how fascinating this is! And morbid 🤣
I'm opting for the oven so no mouth closing for me. Ashes for me.
Although I'd like my urn to say "Cancer: 1 Nick: 0"
That’s very sad,
But funny so do it
@@Torblis Gotta have a sense of humor, death is inevitable; taking the fear out if it with humor is the only way I can accept it.
that's very morbid but a fun kind, loosely implying you have plans to fight again and intend to win
lol
Haha
your videos have helped me deal with seeing my mom's "real death" more than any therapy has. thank you for the work you do. something that was traumatic for me has taken on a whole new light.
Crazy experience, I used to be a transporter for a hospital and along with taking people to their regular procedures and such, we had to also take deceased patients to our morgue. It was super late, I was pulling 12 hours so I was super tired, got the patient on the stretcher(which btw is horrible because they hit their head hard on the pull over from the bed) down the hallway and into the elevator. No big deal it was probably my hundredth time doing this so I was just going through the motions. I was in the elevator and the body just shot straight up, and at that point I was absolutely mortified. I refused to do a morgue transport for a very long time because of that haha. I would release the bodies to the funeral directors if they came and they would help, but never again was I alone with a dead body. Nope. That is real death like you say.
Omg I would have most likely screamed. I guess that would be the nerves still working?
Wait.. that can happen? That's crazy
Yes, it can happen that a body will sit up. my late husband had a friend who worked at a mortuary and told him sometimes this would happen. so creepy! I couldn't do that job
Years ago my uncle told me a similar story. He had been in a funeral home where a body was going to be prepared and the gentleman sat straight up.
My dad passed after a very long debilitating illness and looked nothing like himself. He was a farmer and wanted to be buried in his overalls. We got him a new flannel shirt, new overalls and a tweed sport jacket. The makeup artist made him look like himself using a photograph for reference. She did a wonderful job. Dad came alive again in death and, I for one, felt good about his viewing. He looked like he could wake up any moment, grab his fishing pole and go fishing in his boat.
My mom, on the other hand, suffered tremendously in her last months with cancer and makeup and a wig could not compensate for the change in her appearance. I knew she would not want to be seen like that and opted for a closed casket with a portrait of her on display. We only allowed the casket to be opened for private viewing by immediate family members. All the unconventional burials would have been out of the question even though my dad had said to put him in a burlap sack, dig a hole on the farm with the backhoe and roll him in. He was a joker!
I find your videos very informative and refreshing to say the least.
My Mama requested to be buried in the wig and evening gown she wore to my daughter's wedding. She looked like a movie star not like my mama. I want to be cremated and don't want a funeral.
Nancy Fenity, that's similar to what my dad said. He said put him in a garbage bag, and put him on the curb, so that he could be picked up and taken to a landfill. Well, when he passed we definitely did not do that.
Your dad sounds like he was a lovely person and quite funny too. I just lost my dad (also to a terminal illness) 3 months ago...which is why your comment grabbed my attention.
My dad was buried in overalls and flannel too, one of the pictures was him holding his pole in one hand and his catch in the other.....that man loved to fish. We put his trucker hats in with him and the trucking companies plaque mounted on his casket. Another driver even drove my dads rig in the procession and condolences came from all over the country from other truckers and the places he delivered to. We were told if we could have waited till weekend for the service the funeral home would have been full, there were a lot of truckers who wanted to pay their respects.
@@RachelMulwee I am so very sorry for your loss.
Yes, my dad was a great guy and a riot. Always telling stories and entertaining his companions. It's been many years since my parents passed, but I still miss them every day.
I saw my grandmother only moments after passing. Of course she looked not as alive as I'd seen her before but she looked like my grandma still. I cried a lot but it felt right. At her viewing, she didn't look like herself. I think that's what makes me lean to more natural arrangements since finding your videos. It just sounds so much nicer. Of course, I will most likely be the only person in my family with that kind of death plan...let alone a death plan before having children or before being very old (I'm 20)
That's exactly how I felt. My Grandma passed 2 weeks ago. When we saw her before taking her off life support she looked like my Grams. At the wake, she didn't look like herself. I wasnt expecting that at all but now After hearing more stories people say that's common
@@MaxineRae832 I've seen many look very good but some so different that I really debate whether or not to view their bodies.
I agree. Had to identify my father after his accident, and he looked like my dad, I was happy knowing I could have him done up for an open casket and have my sister be able to come see him for the service, upon viewing him before the service, he did not look the same at all and I had to close the casket, I was sad I don't have the closure I still need from it.
Caitlin, thank you for this. My mother died in a care home and I wasn't there. I went to see her body about an hour after she'd died. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was open. It bothered me and I thought the care workers had forgotten to close it. The thought has haunted me in the 3 years since. Now I know that was normal. Thanks again.
I work in a nursing home and we have a plastic device for that that goes under the jaws, around the neck, almost invisible with a scarf of whatewer to cover, or if not possible, the towel technique or the scarf used around the head to close the mounth like she mentioned in the video
Families often come first before the body is taken so we try to make our best for this first viewing, but I don't remember really that from school I learned that as a trainee when I saw my first death, the nurse was like "help me close eyes and mouth" and I wasn't afraid, now working in a nursing home that's kinda a last care I can do for these people that I knew for years now, when they passed at least trying to make them look appeased and clean
Thank God you are here to do this for all of us...
And, after watching the actual demonstration, clearly, there is a cloud reserved in heaven for you....
I know I’m going to be dead, but something about sewing my mouth shut doesn’t sit well with me😭🥺
Used to be done by some gangs to avoid "telling" of secrets. Or maybe because they told.
Sameee😭
It's going to really slow you down if you ever end up as a zombie. I also agree that I would like to keep my options open
Me too but it is the reality. Death is coming it doesn't matter how you take care of yourself.
Cremation
I am a needle injector gal. I assisted in a suture when i first started out and i felt that it was too evasive. Never had the bits pop out. But yes i can relate. It haunts my dreams as well😂😂😂😂 I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY JOB. ITS A LABOR OF LOVE WHAT WE DO. AND TO BE A FEMALE IN SUCH A MALE DOMINATED FIELD FUELS MY AMBITION TO ALWAYS UP THE ANTE AND DO MY BEST WORK THANK YOU FOR SHARING. I FEEL THAT FAMILIES COME IN WITH THESE QUESTIONS AND DONT KNOW HOW TO ASK OR FEAR OF WHAT THEY FATHOM MENTALLY WHAT THEIR LOVED ONE GOES THROUGH. YOURE AMAZING
I always found that if a adjustment was needed the injector was easier to "fix"
fix being used loosely because not much ya can do at that point ( oh here is his teeth, when he's embalmed, dressed and laid out in the viewing room. We found cotton works good on reworking and filling out the cheek/
lip area too.
I will never, ever forget when my mom passed away, receiving a call from the mortician just hours after he had picked up her body. He had to let us know that he was having trouble getting her mouth to close (she had a slight overbite) and asked for our permission to push back her top teeth so that her mouth would shut. Very surreal.
I’m a CNA… and have done end of life care for 4 years as well and I have NEVER had a patient die while I was there. Until two months ago. Hardest thing I ever had to do. Thankfully I was kinda prepared from watching your videos. But yup the mouth was open and the eyes too😫
“Sorry mr. Johnston” 😂 that’s my dad lmfao. But honestly I’d feel comfortable leaving him in your hands.
I dont want people to see me dead but if they insist Go ahead and do the needle injector and make sure my make up is on point and the right color.
Bryndís Bridget Smith LOL! I'm a hairstylist and I've signed paperwork for my dear friend/client to do her hair when she passes away. I'm also supposed to be doing her make up, hence the l-o-l at your comment. 👍😂
As a mortician myself I use mainly the suture method as that pretty much guarantees a decent mouth closure and will not come undone. The problem I have had with needle injectors is that when you move the deceased from the embalming table to the coffin or casket the pins become dislodged and you end up suturing anyway. 👍🏻⚱⚱⚰⚰⚰💀💀
Totally true. And you're like "awwwww dammit!"
+Ask A Mortician I know!! Not too mention that there is always the risk of the pin not being driven down deep enough into the gum and you end up with a metal stud showing behind the lip.
Have either of you dealt with bones breaking after a suture, or the wire? Like, the strain on the bones disintegrates the mandible or maxilla, thus making it impossible to try again?
+Srcsqwrn I've never had a suture break bones on me. I don't know about Caitlin if she has ever had that problem? I've had ligature snap and had to replace it but that's it. An embalmer friend of mine one used a needle injector on an elderly person and ended up shattering the persons jaw in the process. ⚰⚰⚱⚱💀💀
I used to want to be a mortician as a kid. Not funeral director. To bad there is not an like a glue or something like that you can use for the mouth or eyes. I can tell it takes a special kind of personality to do that kind of work. write back if you want.
Thank you so much for your work and explanation. As someone who recently had their parent pass away and viewing them afterwards, i see how vitally important your job is in maintaining dignity and compassion. Your explanations and descriptions help with going thru the grieving process. I have a much renewed respect for all the service the funeral industry provides.
When someone says to me "picture a dead body" I picture my mother. She dropped dead on the living room floor. My ex-husband was there, and he woke me up, and I came running to the living room (in my very death-inappropriate underwear, straight out of bed) and saw my mother, mostly dead, on the living room floor. (She did make two reflexive breaths, and I tried CPR, but *sigh* she's now been dead 14 years, 3 months, and 10[ish] days. [Yes, I had to do math to figure that out. No, I don't have a daily count. Tomorrow makes one month since my other mother {they were a lesbian couple} passed away, which might be part of why I'm watching Ask a Mortician on RUclips.])
Mad Monkee ❤❤❤ I'm sending you love and light.
You're sweet. Thank you.
Mad Monkee my heart hurts for you. I lost my mom in January 2016 and she's all I picture too. sending you love and light. ❤❤
I'm sorry about your loss. I hope you get and feel better.
So sorry for your loss :( I lost my dad 10 years ago but I never got to see him dead which is good but I don't remember the last time I saw him...
When my father's sister died in a nursing home at age 88, we went to see her and my father and family were horrified by her appearance. She looked like she had died screaming. Her eyes open and mouth wide open and her head was slightly tilted back. I'm a registered nurse and my husband is a paramedic and firefighter. I sat with my dad and my husband couldn't bear it so he left the room. I was so angry because in nursing school and working in a hospital, I was taught how to prepare a body for the family to see before I took the body to the morgue. I tried to explain to my dad why she looked the way she did but it didn't help and the whole family was scarred. I was so upset because they didn't even try to close her mouth and eyes or even smooth down her hair a little to make her not look like she was screaming in pain. My dad had nightmares for months afterward and when he was dying he told me not to let him be seen like my Aunt. He was so scared because of how the nursing home had left my Aunt for us to see. I tried my best to comfort him, but you could still see he was frightened. I have seen a lot of horrible things as a nurse but nothing comes close to how I felt when I saw my Aunt. Thank you for explaining the procedures. This is such a fascinating channel.
Your father's sister = aunt
Wow. Honestly doesn't surprise me though. The "reputable distinguished" nursing home both my grandparents ended up in abused and caused their early and painful deaths...those places don't give a shit they're full of CNA's that did an eight month program and get paid $15 an hour. They're in their early twenties, have no respect for their elders, or the dead, or their family, and just want their paycheck. No one even noticed my grandma was dead for over an hour in the nursing home. Assholes.
When I die, you can have my body for the purpose of the demonstrations on RUclips.
part of me is sad that Im younger than her cause, more than likely she'll be dead before me and wont prepare me for my wake and cremation.
+justagirldemi why do you make the assumption her being older than you means she will die first? You could die tomorrow crossing the road. Age isn't always a factor in death.
blah mcblah you are correct. which is why I said "more than likely". It's a statistical probability.
Or retired at least. lol
there is always the run over by a bus or car , plane crash , sudden adult death syndrome and many more ways you could die before her :)
Thank you for being gentle with the mouth, after what you've told us about what you do with the downthere holes... and we all know it's important to always bring a towel. So yes, I want a towel with me at my funeral.