I remember taking a list with over 30 autistic traits and why I related to them to my psychiatrist. She didn't even let me finish speaking (she said an autistic person wouldn't be that self aware). Then my parents took me to a psychiatrist speacialized in autism and from the get go she thought I was autistic (apparently everything about me screams AUTISM! despite me not being the stereotype)
Yes! I spoke with someone who’s in graduate program for a field that works with the autistic population and was told that someone with autism wouldn’t be able to mask because of theory of mind?? Noooooo - this is a common phenomenon within autistic women especially. They’re really improperly educating future professionals it’s frustrating
I sat my boyfriend down and told him that I think I have autism. He shrugged me off due to his ignorance on the subject and being uneducated on it. He has only ever seen how autism looked in boys, not girls. I then proceed to show my boyfriend one of your videos about autism in girls (along with showing him my pages of research and symptoms that i made) after telling him that I now self-identity and he started crying with me, telling me that he gets it now. He was so happy that I finally found a word for everything going on in my head. He wasn’t unsupportive, he was uneducated. I have been misdiagnosed as a 17yo girl with almost every disorder in the book and I have never felt comfort in a label the way I do with autism. I hope to get an official diagnosis soon. Thank you for everything. Your videos have changed my life.
Me too - I love that! :D ...Now I need to go and re-listen to the last part of the video for the info cause I was too busy giggling with enjoyment over it to take in what came after.
That's why I'm so scared of getting a diagnosis. Maybe I'm reading too much into my problems, maybe I'm just lazy and weird and there is nothing I can do about it and our world is just too loud. capitalism sucks and the system failed. Or did I fail? Everyone else gets it and gets it done. Everyone else has a job and friends. I just want to lay in a flower field and eat berrys
Jacky Flowers There's a reason why it's so important going from doctor to doctor when you finally found something you think describes your situation best. A lot of doctors get taught a very narrow idea of what autism should look like and they discard the idea when someone doesn't fit the exact mold. I think after relating to so many autistic experiences and knowing that a lot of what your feeling or experiencing makes sense under an autism diagnosis, it's only a matter of time before you get a professional that will listen to your struggles
I told my parents. I’m 34. Dad’s response, “Your constant pursuit to find something wrong.” And “You basically look for common coincidences in normal human behaviors and always trying to fit them to a disorder.” I tried to explain to my mom my problem with empathy. I often don’t feel the emotion aspect of it and never know how to respond to stuff. She said I’m just self-centered. Meanwhile, I sat alone at lunch through 3+ years of high school because I didn’t know what to do or how to add myself into the convos of the people that were at the table I was at. I try not to take it personal because ultimately they are just ignorant. It is a very isolating feeling though.
@@nerdfighter_9500 It’s funny because I wasn’t looking for it. My girl saw a TikTok of a wife communicating problems that her and her husband go through. He ended up being diagnosed to be on the spectrum. My girl saw similarities in our own relationship and said I think you may be autistic. She showed me some videos that she found while doing some digging. What people were describing sounded very similar to me. So, I did a binge on the topic and took tests provided in an ASD subreddit. Every test I took said 80% of people with ASD scored above X threshold. I’m not a professional, but I personally think there is a strong chance that I am on the spectrum. Who knows, though.
That's the same way my mom acted to my anxiety diagnosis. "I think you're healthier than you think and everything's fine." Mom. I get triggered by being in a therapist's office. Also, they are diagnosis. Like, you were diagnosed with anxiety as a child and I've seen you have panic attacks. It's genetic. It's kind of obvious that it's always been a possibility.
I want to get a diagnosis but my mom is ableist. I suggested to her, only suggested, that I might be autistic when I was younger and she freaked out and became defensive. She scared me. She's superstitious and thinks I am like this bc of some sh*t about past lives. Now I'm turning 18 and I just want to see a professional. I'm tired
Nene Walk away (with love) from anything having to do with past lives, demonology, new age, meditation etc. Yes, now that you are an adult seek professional diagnosis and potentially medication to be able to self care. I know this may not seem possible but maybe seek out a social worker or equivalent based on where you live. We can’t change our parent’s belief systems but as an adult we can legally pursue a different path to a better life. A lot of “spiritual abuse” out there with good intention. But... at the end of the day a solid diagnosis and treatment plan can be life saving. Trust there are no past lives. Trust your brain is simply wired differently. Pursue becoming knowledgeable on how the brain works and stay away from alternative medicine or spiritual avenues. Been there done that, the destruction and deception is mentally destabilizing. ❤️
oh god that totally sucks. i can’t imagine dealing with that kind of nonsense!! as soon as you turn 18 you can book the appointment yourself! hang in there❤️
Sadly im now getting the same reception. I told my mum and dad I maybe autistic. They straight up said no there is nothing we saw but they said it so defensively. Its annoying they wont support my opinion and my twin sister did the same and she had a big go at me as im evaluating myself and I shouldn't. She also told me she wouldn't evaluate me I was just showing her how I think I am and she kept saying dont tell me but I cant help it because of who I am 😭 considering going private covid is making things worse 😭😭😭😭
I find it hard to determine whether I have autism, or if I am just a bit socially awkward with anxiety and high sensitivity ! It seems like there are lots of autistic traits and they overlap with other things like anxiety, or you could have some traits but not necessarily be autistic, but that doesnt mean you still dont need help. I would like to get properly diagnosed, but it costs too much money so I can't. Its really terrible that seeing pyschologists and getting mental health help costs so much money. And then when people have breakdowns or commit suicide everyone wonders Why??
I very much relate to you. I was diagnosed with OCD along with generalized anxiety disorder about 6 years ago, but now my insurance will no longer cover psychiatry because they no longer deem it “medically necessary”. My diagnosis does not explain the social issues I have and was also given to me at a time that I felt immense shame and didn’t tell anyone but my parents about the diagnosis. I really wish the mental health system would change and I wish the best for you as well!
I relate so much to this! I’ve had depression and anxiety diagnoses since my 20s. I ran out of my antidepressant a few years ago and went into horrible withdrawals that looked like bipolar. And that was when I finally found the nerve to talk to my psychiatrist at the time about evaluating me for ADHD. Nope, not a chance bc “it’s might just be manic symptoms”. Still haven’t been able to get a proper ADHD diagnosis despite no longer having a bipolar diagnosis (or any symptoms to point to it) and still having every symptom of it. And then my therapist told me this summer that she suspected I’m autistic. And the more I research, the more I think she’s right. I kind of want an official diagnosis for both but I suspect it’s probably more than I can afford and would take so much fighting to get that I’m probably best off just being self-diagnosed for now.
I was always told "How can somebody be that smart and act so stupid?". I was the kid in school that would say that they are here to learn things, not socialize. Never really had friends. Don't have any now. I always felt like everybody got a manual on how to do life and I didn't get one. Now my five year old daughter is having "developmental delay". But honestly I just see myself and my struggle to function in her. While trying to figure out why she is the way she is (the doctor suggested because I was neglecting her), I came to ASD. And I find myself, my brother and my daughter in soooo much of this. (Honestly even my grandma, who often seems to not get what is going on on a social level and is just way too "in your face" honest, etc) Now I need my daughters doctor to send her to an expert. So her father took her to the doctor today and asked for her to be diagnosed and the doctor basically said: "Bullshit. I studied medicine for years and she is not autistic." That was that. It's not even her job to diagnose autism, but she somehow is an expert and knows just from looking at my daughter once in two years that she can't be autistic. 🤷♀️ (The doctor also knew that I wasn't reading to my kids and that's why my oldest daughter can't speak as well as she should. I used to read whole series of books to my DOGS before I had kids, because I happen to enjoy reading out loud. Playing around with my voice. Maybe because I was told as a child to not speak "in THAT voice, so loudly, so weird...etc.) I fear that we have a long way ahead. I was always told that I was just shy. Or too sensitive. I should just overcome it. That I was lazy (I am most certainly not, but I come across as lazy it seems). Or that I'm just too stupid to get it. Along with panic attacks, which could be cured if I just "stopped overreacting" - as if that's something I do on purpose. So I too always thought that about myself. But I can see something out of her control going on with my daughter. And now I start to see it for myself. So, I guess what I'm trying too say is, that your not alone in this. When I think that I fit almost every point other autistic people struggle with that I could be autistic and that would explain everything... my learned reaction kicks in. (Your just a drama queen, just too sensitive, just too lazy, etc.) 🤷♀️ But when I look at my daughter it's like getting a second chance on understanding myself. Anyway. I just wanted to say that you're not alone. I think many of us were taught to not take our own experience seriously.
@@RevanEde Well said! It seems your daughter is a great blessing to you! I wish you and her find the best in yourselves and live fulfilling lives. I have long ago given up on 'professional' help, except for a few exceptional people nobody really understands psychology and they just simply think they do because they've passed some exams and gotten a degree and magically they know everything there is to know about the human experience! I've had to learn to take my experiences seriously, or rather validate and believe my own experiences and take other people's observations of me less seriously. No matter how intelligent they are, there is only so much an outsider (i.e. everyone who is not you) can know about you. It's intricate work to disentangle yourself from it, but it can be done.
i like clubbing and i thought that could be a reason why i wouldnt be on the spectrum but i realised why i like it. Its the music i like to listen to at home usually and i dont actually have to talk to anyone you just dance around and thats it. its much easier than a 'simple' conversation to me
I used to enjoy clubbing, also still enjoy occasional gigs. Yet I'm still sensitive to unwanted background sound and really struggle trying to follow conversations in crowded settings.
I got into Latin dance for more than a decade specifically because I didn't have to talk to anyone and there was a structure to everything; even in being asked to dance and not being expected to continue dancing with the same person. No small talk. Most conversations are about dancing. I can find a social anywhere in the world and I don't even have to speak the language to be included and welcomed. It's amazing. I don't like "clubbing" because usually there is an element of people trying to hit on me and get a date or physical. The yelling in your ear over loud music is madness to me. Socials are not like that at all, so I can feel safe. I'm glad clubbing gives you a safe space to express yourself!
After six months researching on autism (and autism in females) and years of diagnosis that didn't "click" on me, i'm finally in the process of being diagnosed! And mainly thanks to a friend of mine and your channel, so, thank you very much. With all my heart, thank you
My Autistic therapist is really cool she understands me so well and tells me often I am not weird, strange or stupid you just think and see things differently to other people. She tells me I am really funny an cool how my approach to life is.
Maybe some of you won't think it's good idea but part of my self-diagnosis was taking AQ test many times, every time in different mood - when I had shutdowns, meltdowns, when I was sad, when I was happy, when I was feeling like a normal person and when I was feeling like an alien. My answers varied, my results varied, but never were below 35 points. Watching Sam's video with AQ test also changed the way I looked at some questions. I also changed my answers after watching myself closesly, for example I didn't think I was obsessed with numbers and dates but some situations made me realise that I am, just didn't notice that.
This is actually a great advice. As a person who does live in a country where i can't get diagnosis as i'm "too old to be autistic" i still want to make it clear to myself. And since I don't want to convince anyone on having something i do not have, i probably will follow your advice (as well as continue my research!) and try taking the tests in various moods! I was planning on doing it in a time interval but your idea sounds more useful! Thank you!
This is definitely good advice as said above. I agree! I was the same. I always score differently but funnily enough I've never gone below being scored autistic. Sometimes I can get really high after a meltdown, for example yesterday I tried to go to a small party and really struggled. I took the test after and scored really high. It definitely depends on how you're feeling at the time.
I've also taken it many times now over a span of roughly a year and even when I feel great and kinda extroverted for my standards answering all the questions while thinking "That sounds completely neurotypical, it's definitely going to be a low score this time" I still get a 34. However I still have doubts about the significance of the AQ, after all it's just a few pretty stereotypical und sometimes randomly specific questions? And I also struggle a bit with the questions because I'm not sure how they define "often", "frequently", "very easy" etc. which makes me doubt my answers a lot and think I might be answering all those questions wrong all the time
My mom has always suspected I'm autistic and I agree and I'm going to get assessed sometime in the next year allegedly. I set an alarm to watch this when it premieres
Thanks to videos like this, I talked to a psychologist a few times. She confirmed I am autistic. She doesn't think it would be beneficial to go through the full test regime given that I'm a few years from retirement and am coping well. It's great to have an understanding of why I've never felt I fit in.
I’m diagnosed with autism since I was I think about 5 years old or something and I’ve had tons of help, I feel sorry for the people who don’t get any help
I keep going back and forth about "Am I?" "Am I not?" And so I've been writing down anything that pops up from childhood or current life that matches things I think are related. I'm on page 5 currently lol! I felt extremely validated after hearing you did the same 😂
I remember a little over a year ago when I sat my best friend down and told her I think I'm autistic. She said no that can't be true, and I believed her because she went to college for early childhood education and development.... Fast-forward I'm still struggling through burnout I told my mom I think I'm autistic I need help getting a diagnosis and she says to me you're not autistic!!! I'll never forget how she sounded in that moment. Well I have an official diagnosis now and I'm 40 years old definitely a late diagnosed❤.
I'm 19, i really think i'm autistic and i tried to tell my mom but she see it as something bad, she told me "why would you believe something like that? you have always been smart" and that day i cried a lot 'cause it was the first time i trusted her in something that is so important to me, i tried to talk to my teacher too, she is a psicologist, she never evaluated me before but she directly said "you are not autistic",i new she could tell me something like this because she also told me once a person can't have anxiety and depression at the same time (i have it) and i can relate so so much to the austistic traits and to the people i've seen online, i don't know anymore...
Psychology is a varied field. Psychopathology is just one part of it. Someone being a psychologist doesn't mean that they understand everything there is to psychology.
I'm 22 and my best friend brought it up and I nearly bit his head off.... I relaxed however because we both are very.........autistic? Idk. But he said we should look into it and yeah we both tick all the boxes as I've seen. I told my grandma first in a off handed comment and she just gave me a look and said 'tell him to butt out and worry about himself."....I then mentioned it to my mother and father who i have a bad relationship with and they both said that I'm too smart and that I need to stop trying to act like I'm stupid. They were annoyed so I dropped it. I wasn't surprised and had resigned myself to not going to get an official diagnosis given they are all standoffish and wouldn't want to be apart of it. But I also agree and don't want to go around saying I'm autistic even with an official diagnosis I was raised to be ashamed and so I don't want to group myself in anyway but I know I am.
What the hell? Such a dumb psychologist, omg, anxiety is kinda of exactly what leads to depression LMAO!!! How can she say that someone can't have both at the same time? This person knows absolutely nothing about their own career... Smh
Autistic Therapist here, we can and do diagnose but typically for neurodevelopmental stuff like autism, ADHD, OCD, we refer for further assessment to like a psychiatrist or psychologist, but you are right that sooooo few therapists (psychologists and psychiatrists too) do not know enough about neurodivergency.
Perfect timing! I'm getting assessed in September and I'm TERRIFIED. I'm scared I'm going to spend $2000 dollars just to be told I'm just socially awkward AF. (I already have a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder due to having tourette syndrome which is another spectrum that comes with three million comorbid conditions so I'm afraid my social issues will be dismissed even though it ALL makes perfect sense under the context of ASD. And why is sensory processing disorder only ever taken seriously if asd people have it and not other conditions??? 😭😭😭 so tired of being gaslighted
@@ariannanicole4177 right?! like other then an accommodation or two for school. Also another 2000$ spent to get that diagnosis. I wish it could all be diagnosed at once. instead of spending all my savings on hopefully getting a useful diagnosis.
Thanks for the template. Ironically I am a therapist/counsellor and at the age of 55 after doing a AQ test in the UK at some Autistic training I did, it highlighted a few things which no one else in the room identified! I spoke with the trainer and am still discussing things with them. I then got some counselling work in a school working with some Autistic young children, things hit home more for me as I could relate and was positively stimulated by the things put in place for them. Iam on that journey now regarding wanting a assessment and diagnosis, yes I have questioned things were different since childhood and therapists and psychologists didn't know what do with me when I was younger. Suppose that's one of the reasons I wanted to become a counsellor myself so others didn't feel the way I did. But also to try understand myself. Thanks again.
My GP was pretty unhelpful when I brought up that I think I’m autistic. Maybe it’s because I decided to bring it up at my last Pap smear (not out of nowhere, I mentioned before the appointment that I wanted to address some things before I left). I didn’t need to compile any examples or anything, instead she just handed me a packet full of numbers for psychologists with absolutely no direction, no referrals, no recommendations. The packet itself didn’t really share who specializes in what, so I dumped it and asked a community Facebook group for more direct resources.
I have felt like this for a few years now and I recently went to my GP to try to start the assessment process but as I explained myself she almost immediately ignored the idea of it being autism. She said that there are long waiting lists for autism assessments and instead referred me to a service for anxiety and depression. I’m grateful that she somewhat listened but I’ve felt very disheartened since because it seems that no one will take me seriously, I even had pages and pages of notes with me like everyone recommends! Thank you for making these videos, I hope others have a more positive experience :)
Unfortunately it sometimes takes more serious consequences before they take it seriously. For example they started looking at my possible Asperger's because of my having much younger friends, after I was facing prison because of it. They didn't even tell me they suspected it until after I told them I heard of it and knew right away that was me
I've done a lot of research the last couple of months and I think I might be autistic. But I really don't wanna start that kind of conversation until I have an actual diagnosis. Lucky for me, there is an institution in my hometown that's specialised in autistic in adults. Only problem of course is corona right now, so they are not taking new patients right now. I just hope they'll reopen soon.
Having quite a similar situation here; though I have talked to some very close friends about it (no family except for my husband)... Interested in how things will play out. All the best to you!!
I've suspected being autistic since 4th grade, I'm 17 now and my parents still cant be convinced. I'm hoping to pursue a diagnosis when I move out and go to college. But I'm worried about going through the process without my parents. Thank you for the resources and encouragement, your videos have been a bright spot in my journey.
I got diagnosed by psychologist when I was 12 but my parents thought they were lying then at 19 my psychiatrist diagnosed me and they still are in denial
I've spent the last 3 weeks down the rabbit hole just going in an out of denial and breaking down lmao my head hurts from it all and I'm emotionally exhausted So, safe to say there's something here 🙃 A part of me very clearly resonates with autism and is finding a lot of relief in this all. But I'm scared of attaching myself to label/community/experience in case I'm wrong, so I'm in this horrid internal battle of "yes oh my god this is me and explains everything BUT what if I'm completely wrong and delusional and finding excuses????" it's intense, I'm just grateful this is happening at 24 because I've learnt how to feel and work with my emotions now I'm in the process of finding an autism specific therapist to help me out so 🤞 for that But, does anyone know of anything similar to autism? I'm incapable of pretending that there isn't *something* here, because my reaction to this all is a clear sign that welp ok I'm clearly not neurotypical. But I don't know enough to know what the other "options" are? I do deeply resonate with autism and autistic experiences, but there are a couple of details that keep me from feeling like it's a 100% fit. It could very well be my own limited understanding, because learning from reading is a bit difficult for me, so I'm mostly limited to what's on RUclips, but I have the question of "what if it's something similar to autism?" without knowing if anything exists in that category? My way of understanding something is through seeing a lot of different examples and making sense of it that way, so the shortage of representation of adult women with autism is really making this difficult. Thank you so much Sam for doing your bit to fill that void. And if anyone else is reading this and on the fence about sharing their experience on RUclips - *please do it*, this has been an invaluable resource and the wider variety of voices and experiences the better.
You can check out AD(H)D, sensory processing disorder, and HSP (highly sensitive person)... Those are the ones I am aware of. Also, autism does have comorbidities, not too seldomly from what I understand. All the best on your journey!!
I’ve noticed a lot of overlaps in the symptoms of CPTSD, autism, and borderline personality disorder. I know I have CPTSD, but still undetermined about the latter two
I relate to this so much. I am 23, have a bpd diagnosis and am researching at the moment to decide whether I think I have autism. Right now it feels like a big secret I can't share with my family at all until I'm more sure
Kind of in the same boat right now. I'm reading and watching more and more about all this and I feel increasingly identified while at the same time fearing confirmation bias
Wow thank you for all the responses! I'm sorry for the delay, I'm not great at comments. I just thought I'd share an update: I did find a counsellor who specialises in Autism but I didn't make it past the consultation because I got so overwhelmed and never got back to her. I do want to reach out and apologise for disappearing at some point but it's still way too overwhelming. I already work with a counsellor who doesn't know much about Autism, and discussing it with her has been helpful even though I do want someone specialised at some point. Ironically the steps required to get a doctors appointment are also overwhelming so no movement on that front, but I think I might ask for help to do it eventually I shaved my head which was the best fucking decision I could have made - I didn't realise how much of a sensory stress my hair was and oh my god it's so freeing to get rid of it and not have the stress of washing and styling it. I changed my winter wardrobe based on sensory requirements. I used to be cold all winter because multiple layers are so uncomfortable for me, but it turns out I'm better with fitted clothes that don't move so much so bodysuits have been a life changing item to buy and help with layers. I'm pretty sure I've also got ADD or ADHD, and after talking to my sister (who is diagnosed with ADHD) I'm realising this is definitely in the family - she also believes she's Autistic and I agree. I can also recognise traits in our father and multiple members on that side of the family. I really don't know how my sister got through the school system without someone spotting it because the visible traits she has are far more stereotypical and she was singled out at school for the disruptive elements, but at no point did anyone suggest an assessment. I really recommend looking at your family if you have them because it might be easier to spot things in them, and use it to understand yourself more. I've told a 5 people in my life that I suspect I'm autistic. One of them got diagnosed right after I commented that, and we're very similar people, so that was wild. One of them doesn't really believe me and thinks it's something else, but she's from an older generation with different definitions, and also has traits imo. One was my sister who agreed and told me she's found the same for herself. Another was unsure out of lack of knowledge, but supportive. And the last one has been the best one because she was the one who actually first suggested it, and her brother is autistic, and she has multiple autistic friends so it's been incredible to have a friendship with someone who gets it and is educated enough to really be able to support me and help me out with zero judgement or weirdness whenever I get nonverbal or get overwhelmed or whatever. So even though there are people I intentionally have not told, I'm grateful I told the people I did because it's made our relationship healthier and I don't mask as much with them anymore which is nice. I decided that I don't really care about a diagnosis at this point in time. I'm not comfortable labelling myself as autistic without doing so, but I am comfortable saying I likely am autistic/neurodivergent because it helps so much. Learning autistic-specific strategies and techniques to help with life has been a game changer. I bought some noise cancelling earphones and have never experienced that level of calm hahah. I bought a weighted blanket and learnt a lot more about myself and what my individual needs are. It's been such a wild journey of learning what affects me and learning that not everyone experiences XYZ, and understanding how stressful it was to live without those adaptations because once I fix an issue I'm more sensitive to when I go back for whatever reason, so it's added a lot of very important context to some chronic health issues. Obviously a diagnosis is far more pressing when it comes to work and finance etc. but I already wasn't able to work and am financially supported at the moment. I do think that could be the deciding factor for a diagnosis in the future. I also did calm down from the overwhelm of that comment eventually. It was really difficult for a few months and honestly I ended up in a bad mental space for a while because it was so much all at once to have a new context for my most painful memories, but I promise I got to a more stable place again, so if anyone is in that really unstable crisis stage - I promise you it does ease up even though it's really horrible when you're in the middle of it, and remember that things like the Samaritans exist (I had to call up twice in that period and it's ok if you can't talk much but just need the safety of someone on the other end of the line until you calm down, you don't have to be actively in danger to call really you should call way before that stage) Basically if anyone reading this relates to what I commented earlier this year, I really recommend getting mental health support (because if you also have trauma like me, it might be intense to get that deeper understanding of dark shit all at once and have memories come up one after another with new context), and applying what you learn about because ultimately if something helps you live a better life it's helpful whatever your diagnosis may be.
I lost so many friends due to understanding. When she said "pain is real". Yes, it's real. Especially when i tried so hard to connect to the world but i can't do it. I lack social skill
Yesterday, I was diagnosed autistic as a female and at 36 years of age. Started to suspect only a year ago. I feel a little like I’m out of body at the moment (the news just hasn’t sunk in yet). Thank you for your videos. ❤️
A few months ago I discovered Paige Layle on tiktok who did a lot of videos on autism and masking and I started realizing I related to it a lot. Then I tried telling my sister about it and she basically said there's nothing wrong with me and I'm just a b*tch, so then imposter syndrome just kicked in and I forgot about it. But recently I've been thinking about it more and doing more research and I really think I am autistic. I really want to get a diagnosis but I'm kinda scared and this video helped a lot. I will definitely be making a list out of my habits that I have or used to have when I was younger.
In realization phase now. Made an appointment to see my therapist from when I was a child. How the emotional rollercoaster has been so exhausting has taken it's toll. Its so relatable, everything you say.
I’m going to a psychiatrist tomorrow and I’m hoping that he will believe me and finally diagnosed me with an ASD. I suspected I was autistic for several years, but now that I’m 18 - I can finally do something about it. I had a pretty bad mental breakdown yesterday, after which I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist. Wish me luck!
I'm currently on a waitlist for diagnosis. I'll feel very relieved if/when it happens but I'm also concerned that if I start speaking openly about my (probable) autism like I want to, it'll be used against me to invalidate me, since I'm also trans, and people seem to think autistic people are somehow less able to know who they are. I also feel like I can't really imagine feeling able to speak up about my autistic needs and difficulties, since I've being doing ok-ish so far. The idea of suddenly telling people you need more accommodations than you've had before seems odd when the world sees you as an already perfectly functional adult. Did you ever have similar worries?
hey i’m in a pretty similar situation, and it might comfort you to know that there’s a huge correlation between being trans and being autistic, so you’re definitely not alone:)
I have the doubt I might be autistic or adhd, or both, or maybe something else entirely, but I am an adult and I am supposed to figure out how to get a diagnosis myself, I've been trying for years and it's getting so frustrating and upsetting that everytime I try to research facilities or experts I feel like crying cause everything is too confusing and complicated. In highschool I talked to the school counselor about the idea I might have adhd, he told me he doesn't believe in adhd, that it's just a diagnosis they give to difficult children to give them pills and sedate them. I gave up but I kept struggling HARD, so Years later I reached out to a psychologist, I told him I thought I might have adhd, he told me that I shouldn't self-diagnose myself, and he couldn't give me a diagnosis Anyway, if I wanted to get a diagnosis I should talk to a therapist. Gave up again for some time but when I started working I had a bad breakdown, so I went to talk to a therapist, he was great and helped me a lot, but told me that he couldn't give me a diagnosis, that I had to talk to a psychiatrist if I wanted a diagnosis. I couldn't afford therapy anymore so I gave up for months, and only recently I did get in contact with a psychiatrist, and ONCE AGAIN I was told nope, we are not specialized in autism, all I can do for you is give you meds for your anxiety and depression, but you should reach out to a specialized facility. He told me he would look it up himself and contact me if he found one, but never did. So a few days ago I tried to research for a facility, most were ONLY FOR CHILDREN, not near me, or had very confusing websites and I couldn't figure out if it was what I needed. After almost braking into tears I finally found one and wrote them an email, they haven't even responded to me yet. Honestly wtf. My concern is, what if I don't have autism, will they reject me again? Do I have to look for an adhd specialized facility then? WHY IS EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED!?
You got me right there, my document is 37 pages long. Actually it was the GP who said to me I might be autistic after a meltdown at uni, I had never even considered it before.
I love techno and climbing, repetitive rhythms that vibratie your body and weird dancing is expected, super nice lights, no small talking, what's not to love?
Great video. I was diagnosed earlier this year after 10 years of going backwards and forwards between professionals and being diagnosed with all sorts, incorrectly. It was actually my therapist who finally got to the bottom of my issues....her background is she used to be a mental health nurse though, so maybe has more experience with it. She referred me to the adult ASD team and it turned out she was right. 🤗
Hey Sam! I just wanted to let you know I love your channel, and this video (as well as others) really helped me along my journey towards diagnosis. I've just been diagnosed (autism + giftedness) and I'm feeling so relieved! I took your advice and wrote a document about my experiences, and plotted them against the DSM-V criteria; it turned out to be 26 pages lol. Between that and the intake form I wrote 18,000 words for my assessor, and they valued it and took it all on board. To anyone else out there at another point on this journey: your document is not too long, you keep writing it as long as you need to; it's your life and it matters.
I tried to tell my mother, but she just told me she was to busy, I know that she doesn’t want to go through the sorrow of having a another kid with disabilities, because my sister had down syndrome and autism, and my brother has something. Yet, I need her to understand that I have Autism.
I live in this very part of Russia, hello! Thanks for the info, I binge watch your videos since the first thought of mine that I could be autistic, they are so helpful
Thank u Sam for sending the autistic traits template, I will integrate this system. When people ask me why I think I'm autistic, I struggle articulating the many reasons I have in my head, and my constant internal monologues about it. I should practice an answer that I'm comfortable and satisfied with. I have this issue in general of blanking out when people ask me wide questions. Like "what music do u listen to" and suddenly I can't come up with any name🤷♀️
Noor - Wide question or open questions. I know why this is is using the working memory. This isn't developed as strong in autistic. Like I know days in history 9/11 was a Tuesday. 7/7 a Thursday. Michael Jackson died on a Thursday. The long term memory. But then it takes me awhile to answer a open question. Like what have you done today? What do you want for dinner tonight? Takes longer to answer.
@@garyfrancis5015 Thanks Gary, it made me research about it. Working Memory is the thinking skill that focuses on memory-in-action: the ability to remember and use relevant information while in the middle of an activity. For example, a child is using their Working Memory as they recall the steps of a recipe while cooking a favorite meal. Really interesting. I'm indeed not good at remembering instructions, like road directions, instantly remembering a serie of numbers, following a recipe etc. And I'm probably the worst quiz candidate ever cause even when I know the answer, it comes wayyy too slow🙂 (Sorry of I answer u late, RUclips doesn't always notifies me when u comment, don't know why).
I, (F15) finally brought up the idea that I might be autistic to my therapist. I agree that because she isn’t a specialist, she was maybe a little dismissive. The fact that I’m a teenage girl and do not present stereotypically definitely didn’t help. But we’re going to do some screenings next time I see her and then finally talk to my mom and GP. I’m just barely at the beginning of the journey, but it’s videos like these that gave me the courage to finally take the first step. You’ve really made me feel less alone. Thank you so much for that :)
I just got my official diagnostic today, about ten hours ago. I wanted to thank you Samdy because this video was really helpful in the diagnosis journey and gave me courage to go for an official diagnosis. Four months of interviews and tests. I was completely scare and anxious the whole time. I'm male, but I feel more identified with the typical traits of female autism, so I was terrified of being misdiagnosed. I felt an instant connection with one of your videos where you talk about pretending to be Miss Bean because I used to do that also (pretending to be Mr Bean). My psychologist confirmed that I'm high masking. The autistic journal advice was really good and my psychologist also congratulated me on my efforts. I feel relieved, but I'm still trying to figure out what this means for me and what to do now. Thanks for your work and dedication, it has changed my life in a positive way.
Hi Sam, almost everything you say really resonates with me. I've been looking into autism for a year now ever since I moved out from home, had to socialize with new people and had to work in a new environment. I've always felt a little "odd" but I was quite comfortable in my familiar friend circle cause I was so used to them and knew how to interact with them. Same goes for living with my family. I could be myself with them, could live out my daily rituals etc and wouldn't get judged for anything. Now that I'm living by my own I'm struggling. Very hard. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, I felt like an alien. It got pretty bad. I'm scared to get a diagnosis because I'm scared of not even getting diagnosed. But I'm certain that something is up. I've always had difficulties with so many things and now everything hit me at once because I don't have my usual support system around. There's always been this question mark above my head and now there's a question. Is it autism? But I'm so afraid that it isn't. Because then I'd just don't know why I'm struggling so hard with regular tasks almost anyone doesn't seem to have a problem with. I've always had problems focusing in school, I've never approached anybody in my life, all my friends approached me. I've been very slow in learning how to use public transportation and so on but I know that I'm not dumb. I can't talk in a group, especially in a group of strangers or at least people I wouldn't consider friends. 1 on 1 conversations are the only way to go. For many years I started crying whenever my family laughed about something because I was certain they're laughing about me. I simply didn't understand. It's difficult to explain and list everything. I just want to know what's going on with me. But I'm scared (Sorry for any mistakes, I'm German. And sorry for rambling, had to get it off my chest because I haven't talked about it to anyone)
I feel the same way! I don’t have a formal diagnosis, but as I’ve been watching videos and reading more about it, I feel like I’m seeing myself for the first time and it’s incredibly emotional. It’s hard to not have people to talk to about it and I’m glad you could get it off your chest! I hope you’ve found supportive people in your life to talk more about this with.
I'm 50 and just learning that I'm probably autistic or at least on the spectrum. I did the questionnaire and yup, I hit most of the markers. This explains MANY things about my life. Unfortunately here in Canada it's very expensive to get an "official" diagnosis so I'm going to have to wait and see if I think it's worth while or not. Thank you for making these video's. Without them I may never have known and always be wondering....
I watched one of your older videos about a week ago (it was literally my very first autism-related video) and it led me to my "lightbulb" moment. This video came at a perfect time as since then I have been binging ALL the videos and info I can find! It was like you were speaking to me directly. I am 39 years old and have never been diagnosed, but everything I've learned has just "fit." It explains so much of my life! So even though I'm not the type to leave comments I wanted to sincerely thank you for everything you've posted, and for you putting yourself out there to help people like me. I could never do what you do, but am so grateful to you, truly.
Yo Samdy Sam I wonder if her first video of your she saw was autism in girls. We enjoy watching the out takes of your video last year. I know it was a bit of fun. But it was also a point that you do have problem with remembering what to say. So the out take showed the difficulty process. Showing the autism mind can just go blank.
Pretty sure there's an autistic man in Bristol uk who goes clubbing with his cat. Truth as I know it. I met him once, but can't be 100% he's autistic, but pretty sure
Having a few drinks tonight. Life is fucking tough. But I know I'm not the only one. I am not encouraging drinking by the way. It is NOT the answer. I'm just saying how I am right now. The last 5-6 years have been very hard :((((( My last relationship fucked me up. She put me down in many days in relation to my autism and it's messed me up completely :((( I have such a strong heart and desire to show my love and empathy but now I feel very upset thesedays :(((
I've contacted relevant diagnosticians and I'm waiting to get my assessment date. I've compiled a document which lists my experiences sorted by DSM-5 criteria. It is currently at 15 pages, but I'm adding and revising daily. I still haven't mentioned anything to my parents, even though they know I've been in therapy for depression and anxiety for nearly two decades. I'm 43.
Miroslav Hundak Do you think there is a female aspergers profile? I feel that boys with Aspergers might mask like girls at school. The family gas lighting socially normal behaviour on them even boys. Do you feel that even the male description of autism is not accurate to some boys at school?
@@garyfrancis5015 Without getting into too much detail, cause that's a very complex subject, I think you may be right. I can't speak for others, but I had a relatively strict upbringing and certain types of behaviour were encouraged, while others were "sanctioned". It's easy to imagine boys and girls learning to mask from an early age in such environment... If they are able. Some autistics are not.
I am in the uk im 36 and I believe im on the spectrum i just thought alot of my experiences was just me a bit odd I flap an clap my hands while giggling when I'm excited and I sway constantly I get obsessed with certain things and I get lost in it I have a councillor I also have pharmacophobia a fear of medicines doctors and dentists this is why I believe I have not been diagnosed I have not took any medication or seen any doctors in 28yrs
I’ve always know I was “not normal” I’ve always just felt like I was different, then when my son told me he thinks I’m probably autistic and since then I’ve been reading up and watching videos, I’m fairly confident that he is right, because so much of what I’ve seen fits. Getting a diagnosis sounds terrifying to me, because phone calls and having to talk to new people are thing I seriously struggle with. Honestly though, just knowing why I am the way I am makes me feels more confident then I ever have been.
I made this discovery about myself a week ago. I'm still in the initial stages of this storm of emotion and self awareness. The most profound part of this experience for me (...and there are many) is when I think about all the souls out there who've suffered with this as much as I have. The emotional gravity of that is intense. I've never felt so connected to people I've never met. I just want to say I love you all, and I'm incredibly proud of you.
Well, I'm definitely on the suspectrum. I first wondered if I was Autistic over a decade ago, but my mother told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't, so I let it slide. Cut to 2021 after 5 months of lockdown and plenty of time for research I'm now 99% sure I'm Autistic. Currently trying options to get a diagnosis. I've now watched several of your videos and they all chime very well with my own experience. Thanks, Sam. And yes, the Netherlands are great.
The document idea is so good, thank you 😭 I don't.. necessarily think I'm on the spectrum but some puzzle pieces clicked together recently and I'm very suspicious. I can't get it out of my head, I can't stop thinking about it and watching videos and researching and trying to figure out what's relatable and what isn't. But I was crazy overwhelmed and stressed out and ashamed when I mentioned it to my doctor (despite him being a massively supportive sweetheart). I'm def going to start writing things down, even just to help organize my thoughts and get things off MY shoulders lol.
Ooh I started a document in my phone and have been filling it with all the things I am recalling that apply! 😅 Glad to see that I was on the right track. I asked my mother to tell me about some of my childhood quirks (carefully not mentioning "autism" because of her reaction about ADHD 24 years ago!)... and her first response was, "well, I was concerned you might be autistic." 😲
I emailed my GP a 6 page document, the massively shortened version, and she booked me a phone call appointment for the next day, she prepared well for it and agreed with me. I'm blessed to have her. I had a failed attempt at telling a friend (raised eyebrow and cricket noises), and an even worse attempt at telling my husband 🤷🏻♀️
as a 15 years old teen who is hiding a big part of their identity(queer too) i am so so afraid of talking to my parents and i don't even know why but it always has been like that and i was just stuck in between to decide if i was going to stay silent and play along or actually do something. since almost no one i see talks about it like the way i experience it other than you. this video made me a lot more confident about who should i tell first. and I think this person is my school counselour i dont know if she is knowledgeable about this stuff but even if shes not she can help me tell my parents, maybe. and thank you so much for talking about the scary uncertainity. almost everyone just doesnt notices or talks about it. and i also want to study psychology, for the same reasons you said earlier, and I find aspiration and comfort by you so thanks for that as well hope you the best!
Thank you so much for making a chart to fill out. I have a few pages with word vomit of why I think I'm autistic but it is in no way organized. I have am appointment with my primary care physician soon. This is amazingly helpful. Also I really liked that you had a release date/time for this video. I liked being able to look and see what the title was and when it'd come out. Was very helpful.
You're killing me, Sam... like I'm seriously anxious about even thinking about making the time to write out my "document." 😅 You're totally right though; as much as I respect and even love my Psychiatrist, his PAUSE was followed by asking me why I thought this and what difference would it make to get diagnosed now (I'm 43). It was tougher to answer him than I would have thought, but he referred me to a Neuropsychologyst for testing. Bottom line (for me, at least), if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone on your medical team about this, ask yourself if they should even be on your team... and a second opinion should never be discouraged.
I know some people hate labels but when my therapist said that I could be autistic everything started to change.. for good.. I told 2 people from my workplace that I could be autistic and now they understand me better. I am taking care of myself for the first time in my life and I no longer feel depressed. In september I might get an official diagnosis. ♡jay♡
Ah yes the document. I had a very long one of information I gathered for almost a year that I lost access to because my phone broke and had a little meltdown over it like a couple months before the appointment date :’) I ended up writing another shorter document with what little amount I remembered and sending it to the doctor who was evaluating me and that turned out to still be 16 pages :’) I got diagnosed but I feel like the fact it was color coded and very specific and thorough showed I was autistic in the first place lmao
I told my therapist that I thought I may be autistic and she laughed at me and told me "You're NOT autistic" and I haven't had the courage to bring it up to anyone since... I'm truly not sure If I am autistic (despite relating to so many of the experiences and traits of diagnosed autistic people) but to have it dismissed so quickly and without any explanation as to why she thought that really confused and upset me.
I am so sorry you went through this! I am honestly so scared to tell anyone I am seeking a diagnosis because of this reason.. It is so invalidating to be made fun of for expressing a genuine concern. I think people are just unaware of the symptoms. I think a lot of our doubts come from how people react to us. We definitely internalize it and start to think we might just be the problem. I hope you can bounce back and keep reaching out. Someone will hear you!
Hi Today I finally had a meeting with a psychiatrist and got a referral for an autism assessment. And I wanted to say thank you bc I took your advice to prepare for it by writing a list which was incredibly helpful. I'm really happy rn
I actually talked to my old therapist about the autistic symptoms I experience and she dismissed me. I never came back, and canceled the appointment with the psychiatrist I was going to see at the time, because I was so embarrassed and imagined myself and explaining the psyquiatrist and he dismissing me again and I just couldn't cope with the idea. My mom wasn't supportive at the time. I felt so alone for such a long time. Now we are preparing to go together to the psyquiatrist and work things out.
Love the thumb nail Sam I like how you keep the audience guessing with glasses in the video without glasses. It's just another surprise bonus with your videos.
I'm so glad you released this when you did. My fiancee is getting assessed in four days to see if she, like me, is on the spectrum. I plan on helping her with her "document" as much as I possibly can until then. Thank you, as always, for your insight, Sam! Wendy and I really appreciate it! 😁
My realisation is a massive relief. Ha! I’ve also started listing experiences/traits. My sister and husband have been so supportive. My nephew has a diagnosis so my sister knows a lot about it and is helping me remember my childhood behaviours. The huge relief got me is that I’ve been trying (through therapy) to force myself to learn/do/ be good at stuff that I’m not actually going to be able to. I can stop shaming myself for my meltdowns. And I finally understand my issues with executive function. Huge relief. Definitely want a formal diagnosis.
thank you for the video. I am currently suspecting and researching a lot. My husband just now in reaction to something i did (again) just.said to me "you are like an anarchist, you don't conform, you simply dont care about the rules on doing this or that, and it's not on purpose you just dont care".. and then i Just heard about it on a video. then i told him i was nervous about a presentation of mine i had to do in 2 hours and he just said "you gonna be great, you spend 2 days obsessed reading all about it". like you always do, remeber our trip last year the you read about the country for over a month? and then i listen to you and is so relatable anyways just wanna tank you
I'm in thw process of finding someone to diagnose me. I definitely feel less valid without a diagnosis. I have a lot of medical and mental health issues and have been invalidated a lot so that's why. Your channel is helping me validate myself which is important
I think my sister, (24yrs old), may be autistic, but being uninsured and earning to much for assistance I don't know if we can afford the testing. She's been unemployed since the shutdown, and is really struggling with interviews, and job searching. Tried to help with her resume and interview skills, but she will shut down, become quite upset, or dismisses my advice. I love my sister, but lately am really struggling to "co-exist" with her, and yesterday we had an argument/fight and she said some things that were extremely hurtful to me. I want to be able to better understand her, to understand where she is coming from, create an environment that we can both live in and enjoy, but also how to communicate myself and my needs to her in a way that won't cause more conflict then there already is between us. Any wisdom or tips would be immensely appreciated! Thank you!
Just thank you for your videos. Autism runs in my family and it had no treatment since I was 8. 45 now. Life has been quite the journey and I've become very proficient in masking many traits. I was always tested for learning disabilities, then offered spots in gifted programs. I didn't like doing work that didn't interest me. Bring something up that I study and I'll hit you with a barrage of information that'll most likely make you forget what I was talking about initially. I'm at the beginning of my understanding journey, but understanding so much already.
I have so many symptoms but until a few days ago I’d never even considered autism. I did have a therapist at one point, but in her words I “kept my emotions hidden”; the reality is that I didn’t even know how I felt. I’m fairly worried about telling my dad, but I do remember bringing up that I thought I might have adhd and he said that if I wanted, I could get tested, even though he said he thought I didn’t have it. I’m also uncomfortable because even though it was initially exciting to find that there might be a reason behind my odd behaviour, I don’t want others to judge me. I’m going to speak to him about it soon though hopefully, and this video did help so thank you.
After much pushing, my (NHS) gp gave me a referral. the guy did a 'qualitative assessment'.... which isn't the standard for a reason. Another 'problem' is that I have ... not sure how to say this without being an ass, ... I have a high IQ and VERY good at masking, particularly in an interview setting. So no help from the NHS, (yea. i know, big shock, right! smh) I am kinda lost about what i should do and what would actually help.
Yo Sandy you are a natural comedian🤣 love watching your videos...we are so fortunate having people like you online to bring awareness to this condition....a big THANX 💛
Wow! I started writing a document today. Going over all of my history and describing things that seem to point to my being autistic. It seemed like the logical thing to do! Thank you for making that seem less weird!
Very recently I've started suspecting this. Part of me still rejects it because I'm a self-glorified prick. Another part of me would be so relieved to finally know what the hell is up with me. Maybe I'm truly autistic, or maybe I'm just a 25 y/o who got bullied in school when he was a kid and has since beem struggling with depression, anxiety and maybe some other disorders that developed over time, like adhd for example. One thing's for sure, my life is going to hell slowly, my mentality to be more precise, and I need to do something as soon as possible. I'll be seeing a therapist soon, so we'll see how that goes.
I mask so well not even my mother can tell. The self sabotage is the unhealthy bit. I won't get diagnosed because no observer will have anything to go on, it's invisible, therefore how can it be diagnosed. I wouldn't know how to turn the masks off so I am never seen as who I am.
A good therapist/psychologist should listen though (not "just" observe) and especially if they're specialised in autism/well aware of it still able to "catch" it. ;) Mine was aware of my autism/thought it quite likely before it ever occurred to me; I've noticed how the awareness alone changed me/my mindset to embrace my autism more, so if you see a good professional they can still help you, provided that's what you want
Thank you for this video and the template! I'm really struggling with whether I want to seek out a diagnosis or not, because I'm so unsure. My suspisions first arose in November of last year (and yes, I did compile the 6 page document) and I resonate a lot with the autistic communities on reddit, for example, and have enjoyed and related a lot to your videos. However, I'm really struggling with distinguishing possible autistic traits in myself from symptoms of mental health issues (i.e. stimming, sensory sensitivity, select mutism, poor executive functioning, obsessions, dissociation etc.), like depression, anxiety and possibly ocd. When I look back at my childhood, I can tell that I was definitely struggling a lot in the social department and generally I can see quite a lot of autistic traits in my childhood self, but since I have gotten better in some aspects, like socialising (although often sometimes struggling with that, at least on the inside), possibly due to compensatory strategies, it's just really hard to say for sure. Long story short, I would really love to get some clarity but I don't feel comfortable going to my GP or a specialist before I'm not more confident on my suspisions myself. I know that's kind of twisted but I guess I'm just afraid of possible feelings of humiliation, having opened up about this to people and then turning out to not actually be on the spectrum at all. And although I'm 19 and could technically go about seeking a diagnosis myself, I think it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to at least one of my parents first about this to get a second perspective on my childhood but I get horribly anxious from that thought alone. In the obscure case that someone actually took the time to read through all of this, first of all thank you, and secondly, I was wondering if maybe someone could give me some advice based on personal or professional experience. Maybe if enough people relate, it would also be nice to get a video on it, although that is just a suggestion.
The first person I told was my therapist because I trust her. She said that shes not an expert but from what shes knows wha i told her makes sense. She also helped me tell mgy parents which was really nice. thats where I am right now.
It's hard to be an Aspie when your parents are Narcissistic..they refuse to see it for what it is because it's a reflection on themselves..or they take it that way..I had to walk it alone because neurotypicals can't deal with it and would rather have an excuse to scapegoat and manipulate...but I wouldn't change my perception fort the world..I'm proud I made it this far and am grateful for the special gifts it brings..there's no shame in being true to yourself.. BOSTON 🍀
"the first thing i did was make a big document of every memory that came up" i'm screaming bc that's what i've been doing all day that was my automatic first idea
I never thought that autism could be the reason that I acted the way I did. The first time I heard of it was when my mom saw me rocking back and forth and said "Don't do it you're not autistic" because se watched a movie about it. I'm 24 right now and last year my mom befriended a woman that works with autistic children, and by talking to her she started to notice certain things matching my behavior. Because of this I started reading more about it and ended up going to a professional to do some tests, sadly I can't get my diagnosis because of the pandemic.
I remember taking a list with over 30 autistic traits and why I related to them to my psychiatrist. She didn't even let me finish speaking (she said an autistic person wouldn't be that self aware). Then my parents took me to a psychiatrist speacialized in autism and from the get go she thought I was autistic (apparently everything about me screams AUTISM! despite me not being the stereotype)
Eduarda I hope you went back to that first psychiatrist and set them straight! Professionals need to be educated.
Yes! I spoke with someone who’s in graduate program for a field that works with the autistic population and was told that someone with autism wouldn’t be able to mask because of theory of mind?? Noooooo - this is a common phenomenon within autistic women especially. They’re really improperly educating future professionals it’s frustrating
@@tiiaj7589 scary how clueless professionals are...its a relief that people such as yo sandy can educate professionals from the inside subjective view
Ok m extremely self aware and I’m very autistic so whoever that psychiatrist is doesn’t actually know much
This makes me think I shouldn't even bother seeking assessment, because I've always been very self-aware 😕
I sat my boyfriend down and told him that I think I have autism. He shrugged me off due to his ignorance on the subject and being uneducated on it. He has only ever seen how autism looked in boys, not girls. I then proceed to show my boyfriend one of your videos about autism in girls (along with showing him my pages of research and symptoms that i made) after telling him that I now self-identity and he started crying with me, telling me that he gets it now. He was so happy that I finally found a word for everything going on in my head. He wasn’t unsupportive, he was uneducated. I have been misdiagnosed as a 17yo girl with almost every disorder in the book and I have never felt comfort in a label the way I do with autism. I hope to get an official diagnosis soon. Thank you for everything. Your videos have changed my life.
I'm so glad he accepted you and that you could get rid of the misdiagnoses!
Not going to lie... I did laugh at "suspectrum" :D
Me too - I love that! :D ...Now I need to go and re-listen to the last part of the video for the info cause I was too busy giggling with enjoyment over it to take in what came after.
Okay yea that was funnyXD
it was kinda sweet
imagine my impostor syndrome when my doctor told me i dont have autism
That must have been tough.
That's why I'm so scared of getting a diagnosis. Maybe I'm reading too much into my problems, maybe I'm just lazy and weird and there is nothing I can do about it and our world is just too loud.
capitalism sucks and the system failed. Or did I fail? Everyone else gets it and gets it done. Everyone else has a job and friends. I just want to lay in a flower field and eat berrys
Jacky Flowers There's a reason why it's so important going from doctor to doctor when you finally found something you think describes your situation best. A lot of doctors get taught a very narrow idea of what autism should look like and they discard the idea when someone doesn't fit the exact mold.
I think after relating to so many autistic experiences and knowing that a lot of what your feeling or experiencing makes sense under an autism diagnosis, it's only a matter of time before you get a professional that will listen to your struggles
God, I'm sorry, hope you're okay
@@willowisp9150 HOW DID YOU DESCRIBE MY OPINION ABOUT EVERYTHING SO PERFECTLY-
I told my parents. I’m 34.
Dad’s response, “Your constant pursuit to find something wrong.” And “You basically look for common coincidences in normal human behaviors and always trying to fit them to a disorder.”
I tried to explain to my mom my problem with empathy. I often don’t feel the emotion aspect of it and never know how to respond to stuff. She said I’m just self-centered.
Meanwhile, I sat alone at lunch through 3+ years of high school because I didn’t know what to do or how to add myself into the convos of the people that were at the table I was at.
I try not to take it personal because ultimately they are just ignorant. It is a very isolating feeling though.
The important thing is that you now know and you can take care of yourself.
You're self aware and can choose yourself. They are ignorant and autism is not negative.
@@nerdfighter_9500 It’s funny because I wasn’t looking for it. My girl saw a TikTok of a wife communicating problems that her and her husband go through. He ended up being diagnosed to be on the spectrum.
My girl saw similarities in our own relationship and said I think you may be autistic. She showed me some videos that she found while doing some digging. What people were describing sounded very similar to me. So, I did a binge on the topic and took tests provided in an ASD subreddit. Every test I took said 80% of people with ASD scored above X threshold. I’m not a professional, but I personally think there is a strong chance that I am on the spectrum. Who knows, though.
That's the same way my mom acted to my anxiety diagnosis. "I think you're healthier than you think and everything's fine."
Mom. I get triggered by being in a therapist's office. Also, they are diagnosis. Like, you were diagnosed with anxiety as a child and I've seen you have panic attacks. It's genetic. It's kind of obvious that it's always been a possibility.
Your parents are massively gaslighting you
Haha I finally told my mom I think I'm autistic and she says "I think I am too"
that's what my mother said too
I want to get a diagnosis but my mom is ableist. I suggested to her, only suggested, that I might be autistic when I was younger and she freaked out and became defensive. She scared me. She's superstitious and thinks I am like this bc of some sh*t about past lives. Now I'm turning 18 and I just want to see a professional. I'm tired
Nene Walk away (with love) from anything having to do with past lives, demonology, new age, meditation etc. Yes, now that you are an adult seek professional diagnosis and potentially medication to be able to self care. I know this may not seem possible but maybe seek out a social worker or equivalent based on where you live. We can’t change our parent’s belief systems but as an adult we can legally pursue a different path to a better life. A lot of “spiritual abuse” out there with good intention. But... at the end of the day a solid diagnosis and treatment plan can be life saving. Trust there are no past lives. Trust your brain is simply wired differently. Pursue becoming knowledgeable on how the brain works and stay away from alternative medicine or spiritual avenues. Been there done that, the destruction and deception is mentally destabilizing. ❤️
oh god that totally sucks. i can’t imagine dealing with that kind of nonsense!! as soon as you turn 18 you can book the appointment yourself! hang in there❤️
Same my dad doesn't even think its real
Same 💗
Sadly im now getting the same reception. I told my mum and dad I maybe autistic. They straight up said no there is nothing we saw but they said it so defensively. Its annoying they wont support my opinion and my twin sister did the same and she had a big go at me as im evaluating myself and I shouldn't. She also told me she wouldn't evaluate me I was just showing her how I think I am and she kept saying dont tell me but I cant help it because of who I am 😭 considering going private covid is making things worse 😭😭😭😭
I find it hard to determine whether I have autism, or if I am just a bit socially awkward with anxiety and high sensitivity ! It seems like there are lots of autistic traits and they overlap with other things like anxiety, or you could have some traits but not necessarily be autistic, but that doesnt mean you still dont need help.
I would like to get properly diagnosed, but it costs too much money so I can't. Its really terrible that seeing pyschologists and getting mental health help costs so much money. And then when people have breakdowns or commit suicide everyone wonders Why??
I very much relate to you. I was diagnosed with OCD along with generalized anxiety disorder about 6 years ago, but now my insurance will no longer cover psychiatry because they no longer deem it “medically necessary”. My diagnosis does not explain the social issues I have and was also given to me at a time that I felt immense shame and didn’t tell anyone but my parents about the diagnosis. I really wish the mental health system would change and I wish the best for you as well!
I relate so much to this! I’ve had depression and anxiety diagnoses since my 20s. I ran out of my antidepressant a few years ago and went into horrible withdrawals that looked like bipolar. And that was when I finally found the nerve to talk to my psychiatrist at the time about evaluating me for ADHD. Nope, not a chance bc “it’s might just be manic symptoms”. Still haven’t been able to get a proper ADHD diagnosis despite no longer having a bipolar diagnosis (or any symptoms to point to it) and still having every symptom of it. And then my therapist told me this summer that she suspected I’m autistic. And the more I research, the more I think she’s right. I kind of want an official diagnosis for both but I suspect it’s probably more than I can afford and would take so much fighting to get that I’m probably best off just being self-diagnosed for now.
I was always told "How can somebody be that smart and act so stupid?". I was the kid in school that would say that they are here to learn things, not socialize. Never really had friends. Don't have any now. I always felt like everybody got a manual on how to do life and I didn't get one. Now my five year old daughter is having "developmental delay". But honestly I just see myself and my struggle to function in her. While trying to figure out why she is the way she is (the doctor suggested because I was neglecting her), I came to ASD. And I find myself, my brother and my daughter in soooo much of this. (Honestly even my grandma, who often seems to not get what is going on on a social level and is just way too "in your face" honest, etc) Now I need my daughters doctor to send her to an expert. So her father took her to the doctor today and asked for her to be diagnosed and the doctor basically said: "Bullshit. I studied medicine for years and she is not autistic." That was that. It's not even her job to diagnose autism, but she somehow is an expert and knows just from looking at my daughter once in two years that she can't be autistic. 🤷♀️
(The doctor also knew that I wasn't reading to my kids and that's why my oldest daughter can't speak as well as she should. I used to read whole series of books to my DOGS before I had kids, because I happen to enjoy reading out loud. Playing around with my voice. Maybe because I was told as a child to not speak "in THAT voice, so loudly, so weird...etc.)
I fear that we have a long way ahead. I was always told that I was just shy. Or too sensitive. I should just overcome it. That I was lazy (I am most certainly not, but I come across as lazy it seems). Or that I'm just too stupid to get it. Along with panic attacks, which could be cured if I just "stopped overreacting" - as if that's something I do on purpose. So I too always thought that about myself. But I can see something out of her control going on with my daughter. And now I start to see it for myself. So, I guess what I'm trying too say is, that your not alone in this. When I think that I fit almost every point other autistic people struggle with that I could be autistic and that would explain everything... my learned reaction kicks in. (Your just a drama queen, just too sensitive, just too lazy, etc.) 🤷♀️ But when I look at my daughter it's like getting a second chance on understanding myself. Anyway. I just wanted to say that you're not alone. I think many of us were taught to not take our own experience seriously.
@@RevanEde Well said! It seems your daughter is a great blessing to you! I wish you and her find the best in yourselves and live fulfilling lives.
I have long ago given up on 'professional' help, except for a few exceptional people nobody really understands psychology and they just simply think they do because they've passed some exams and gotten a degree and magically they know everything there is to know about the human experience! I've had to learn to take my experiences seriously, or rather validate and believe my own experiences and take other people's observations of me less seriously. No matter how intelligent they are, there is only so much an outsider (i.e. everyone who is not you) can know about you. It's intricate work to disentangle yourself from it, but it can be done.
I relate a lot to that! Ivcant decide if i could have it or not
"Suspectrum" is my new favorite word.
😆
i like clubbing and i thought that could be a reason why i wouldnt be on the spectrum but i realised why i like it. Its the music i like to listen to at home usually and i dont actually have to talk to anyone you just dance around and thats it. its much easier than a 'simple' conversation to me
I used to enjoy clubbing, also still enjoy occasional gigs. Yet I'm still sensitive to unwanted background sound and really struggle trying to follow conversations in crowded settings.
I got into Latin dance for more than a decade specifically because I didn't have to talk to anyone and there was a structure to everything; even in being asked to dance and not being expected to continue dancing with the same person. No small talk. Most conversations are about dancing. I can find a social anywhere in the world and I don't even have to speak the language to be included and welcomed. It's amazing. I don't like "clubbing" because usually there is an element of people trying to hit on me and get a date or physical. The yelling in your ear over loud music is madness to me. Socials are not like that at all, so I can feel safe. I'm glad clubbing gives you a safe space to express yourself!
i mainly like the bass vibration its a sensory must for me haha. just FEELING the music hits diffre´nt
After six months researching on autism (and autism in females) and years of diagnosis that didn't "click" on me, i'm finally in the process of being diagnosed! And mainly thanks to a friend of mine and your channel, so, thank you very much. With all my heart, thank you
So glad my videos have helped! Best of luck with the process
My Autistic therapist is really cool she understands me so well and tells me often I am not weird, strange or stupid you just think and see things differently to other people. She tells me I am really funny an cool how my approach to life is.
Maybe some of you won't think it's good idea but part of my self-diagnosis was taking AQ test many times, every time in different mood - when I had shutdowns, meltdowns, when I was sad, when I was happy, when I was feeling like a normal person and when I was feeling like an alien. My answers varied, my results varied, but never were below 35 points. Watching Sam's video with AQ test also changed the way I looked at some questions. I also changed my answers after watching myself closesly, for example I didn't think I was obsessed with numbers and dates but some situations made me realise that I am, just didn't notice that.
This is actually a great advice. As a person who does live in a country where i can't get diagnosis as i'm "too old to be autistic" i still want to make it clear to myself. And since I don't want to convince anyone on having something i do not have, i probably will follow your advice (as well as continue my research!) and try taking the tests in various moods! I was planning on doing it in a time interval but your idea sounds more useful! Thank you!
This is definitely good advice as said above. I agree! I was the same. I always score differently but funnily enough I've never gone below being scored autistic. Sometimes I can get really high after a meltdown, for example yesterday I tried to go to a small party and really struggled. I took the test after and scored really high. It definitely depends on how you're feeling at the time.
does it count if for scheduling a travel, you insist on a specific date, and other dates feel wrong?
I've also taken it many times now over a span of roughly a year and even when I feel great and kinda extroverted for my standards answering all the questions while thinking "That sounds completely neurotypical, it's definitely going to be a low score this time" I still get a 34. However I still have doubts about the significance of the AQ, after all it's just a few pretty stereotypical und sometimes randomly specific questions? And I also struggle a bit with the questions because I'm not sure how they define "often", "frequently", "very easy" etc. which makes me doubt my answers a lot and think I might be answering all those questions wrong all the time
Well, I thought it is normal to count the stones in every wall of your house.. (well I really did not find it strange... until now.)
My mom has always suspected I'm autistic and I agree and I'm going to get assessed sometime in the next year allegedly. I set an alarm to watch this when it premieres
Thanks to videos like this, I talked to a psychologist a few times. She confirmed I am autistic. She doesn't think it would be beneficial to go through the full test regime given that I'm a few years from retirement and am coping well. It's great to have an understanding of why I've never felt I fit in.
Good to hear, I wish I could retire. At 50 I have done a lot in computers but no company had a retirement plan.
I’m diagnosed with autism since I was I think about 5 years old or something and I’ve had tons of help, I feel sorry for the people who don’t get any help
I keep going back and forth about "Am I?" "Am I not?" And so I've been writing down anything that pops up from childhood or current life that matches things I think are related. I'm on page 5 currently lol! I felt extremely validated after hearing you did the same 😂
I remember a little over a year ago when I sat my best friend down and told her I think I'm autistic. She said no that can't be true, and I believed her because she went to college for early childhood education and development.... Fast-forward I'm still struggling through burnout I told my mom I think I'm autistic I need help getting a diagnosis and she says to me you're not autistic!!! I'll never forget how she sounded in that moment. Well I have an official diagnosis now and I'm 40 years old definitely a late diagnosed❤.
I'm 19, i really think i'm autistic and i tried to tell my mom but she see it as something bad, she told me "why would you believe something like that? you have always been smart" and that day i cried a lot 'cause it was the first time i trusted her in something that is so important to me, i tried to talk to my teacher too, she is a psicologist, she never evaluated me before but she directly said "you are not autistic",i new she could tell me something like this because she also told me once a person can't have anxiety and depression at the same time (i have it) and i can relate so so much to the austistic traits and to the people i've seen online, i don't know anymore...
Ask a person who specializes in ASD. They'll be able to help you more than a teacher can.
Psychology is a varied field. Psychopathology is just one part of it. Someone being a psychologist doesn't mean that they understand everything there is to psychology.
I'm 22 and my best friend brought it up and I nearly bit his head off.... I relaxed however because we both are very.........autistic? Idk. But he said we should look into it and yeah we both tick all the boxes as I've seen. I told my grandma first in a off handed comment and she just gave me a look and said 'tell him to butt out and worry about himself."....I then mentioned it to my mother and father who i have a bad relationship with and they both said that I'm too smart and that I need to stop trying to act like I'm stupid. They were annoyed so I dropped it. I wasn't surprised and had resigned myself to not going to get an official diagnosis given they are all standoffish and wouldn't want to be apart of it. But I also agree and don't want to go around saying I'm autistic even with an official diagnosis I was raised to be ashamed and so I don't want to group myself in anyway but I know I am.
What the hell? Such a dumb psychologist, omg, anxiety is kinda of exactly what leads to depression LMAO!!! How can she say that someone can't have both at the same time? This person knows absolutely nothing about their own career... Smh
Autistic Therapist here, we can and do diagnose but typically for neurodevelopmental stuff like autism, ADHD, OCD, we refer for further assessment to like a psychiatrist or psychologist, but you are right that sooooo few therapists (psychologists and psychiatrists too) do not know enough about neurodivergency.
Perfect timing! I'm getting assessed in September and I'm TERRIFIED. I'm scared I'm going to spend $2000 dollars just to be told I'm just socially awkward AF. (I already have a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder due to having tourette syndrome which is another spectrum that comes with three million comorbid conditions so I'm afraid my social issues will be dismissed even though it ALL makes perfect sense under the context of ASD. And why is sensory processing disorder only ever taken seriously if asd people have it and not other conditions??? 😭😭😭 so tired of being gaslighted
Same. I'm getting assessed in september too!
We can do this!
My assessment is in 2 weeks!!! And same so tried of being gaslighted.
Yeah I for sure have SPD but it seems so hard to get any sort of help for it..
@@ariannanicole4177 right?! like other then an accommodation or two for school. Also another 2000$ spent to get that diagnosis. I wish it could all be diagnosed at once. instead of spending all my savings on hopefully getting a useful diagnosis.
Thanks for the template. Ironically I am a therapist/counsellor and at the age of 55 after doing a AQ test in the UK at some Autistic training I did, it highlighted a few things which no one else in the room identified! I spoke with the trainer and am still discussing things with them. I then got some counselling work in a school working with some Autistic young children, things hit home more for me as I could relate and was positively stimulated by the things put in place for them. Iam on that journey now regarding wanting a assessment and diagnosis, yes I have questioned things were different since childhood and therapists and psychologists didn't know what do with me when I was younger. Suppose that's one of the reasons I wanted to become a counsellor myself so others didn't feel the way I did. But also to try understand myself. Thanks again.
My GP was pretty unhelpful when I brought up that I think I’m autistic. Maybe it’s because I decided to bring it up at my last Pap smear (not out of nowhere, I mentioned before the appointment that I wanted to address some things before I left). I didn’t need to compile any examples or anything, instead she just handed me a packet full of numbers for psychologists with absolutely no direction, no referrals, no recommendations. The packet itself didn’t really share who specializes in what, so I dumped it and asked a community Facebook group for more direct resources.
Might be worth returning with a plan and a template?
I have felt like this for a few years now and I recently went to my GP to try to start the assessment process but as I explained myself she almost immediately ignored the idea of it being autism. She said that there are long waiting lists for autism assessments and instead referred me to a service for anxiety and depression. I’m grateful that she somewhat listened but I’ve felt very disheartened since because it seems that no one will take me seriously, I even had pages and pages of notes with me like everyone recommends! Thank you for making these videos, I hope others have a more positive experience :)
Unfortunately it sometimes takes more serious consequences before they take it seriously. For example they started looking at my possible Asperger's because of my having much younger friends, after I was facing prison because of it. They didn't even tell me they suspected it until after I told them I heard of it and knew right away that was me
Thing is anxiety deppression is easier but you can insist on getting in the que at the same time as you get treatment for the symptoms
Sam : You can use the wait time to maybe research in a more relaxed, less frantic manner
Me: 👀 how did you get in my brain
It's my brain too
I've done a lot of research the last couple of months and I think I might be autistic. But I really don't wanna start that kind of conversation until I have an actual diagnosis. Lucky for me, there is an institution in my hometown that's specialised in autistic in adults. Only problem of course is corona right now, so they are not taking new patients right now. I just hope they'll reopen soon.
Having quite a similar situation here; though I have talked to some very close friends about it (no family except for my husband)... Interested in how things will play out.
All the best to you!!
@@tabitas.2719 Thank you so much, all the best to you, too!
I've suspected being autistic since 4th grade, I'm 17 now and my parents still cant be convinced. I'm hoping to pursue a diagnosis when I move out and go to college. But I'm worried about going through the process without my parents. Thank you for the resources and encouragement, your videos have been a bright spot in my journey.
I got diagnosed by psychologist when I was 12 but my parents thought they were lying then at 19 my psychiatrist diagnosed me and they still are in denial
I've spent the last 3 weeks down the rabbit hole just going in an out of denial and breaking down lmao my head hurts from it all and I'm emotionally exhausted
So, safe to say there's something here 🙃
A part of me very clearly resonates with autism and is finding a lot of relief in this all. But I'm scared of attaching myself to label/community/experience in case I'm wrong, so I'm in this horrid internal battle of "yes oh my god this is me and explains everything BUT what if I'm completely wrong and delusional and finding excuses????" it's intense, I'm just grateful this is happening at 24 because I've learnt how to feel and work with my emotions now
I'm in the process of finding an autism specific therapist to help me out so 🤞 for that
But, does anyone know of anything similar to autism? I'm incapable of pretending that there isn't *something* here, because my reaction to this all is a clear sign that welp ok I'm clearly not neurotypical. But I don't know enough to know what the other "options" are? I do deeply resonate with autism and autistic experiences, but there are a couple of details that keep me from feeling like it's a 100% fit. It could very well be my own limited understanding, because learning from reading is a bit difficult for me, so I'm mostly limited to what's on RUclips, but I have the question of "what if it's something similar to autism?" without knowing if anything exists in that category?
My way of understanding something is through seeing a lot of different examples and making sense of it that way, so the shortage of representation of adult women with autism is really making this difficult. Thank you so much Sam for doing your bit to fill that void. And if anyone else is reading this and on the fence about sharing their experience on RUclips - *please do it*, this has been an invaluable resource and the wider variety of voices and experiences the better.
You can check out AD(H)D, sensory processing disorder, and HSP (highly sensitive person)... Those are the ones I am aware of.
Also, autism does have comorbidities, not too seldomly from what I understand.
All the best on your journey!!
I’ve noticed a lot of overlaps in the symptoms of CPTSD, autism, and borderline personality disorder. I know I have CPTSD, but still undetermined about the latter two
I relate to this so much. I am 23, have a bpd diagnosis and am researching at the moment to decide whether I think I have autism. Right now it feels like a big secret I can't share with my family at all until I'm more sure
Kind of in the same boat right now. I'm reading and watching more and more about all this and I feel increasingly identified while at the same time fearing confirmation bias
Wow thank you for all the responses! I'm sorry for the delay, I'm not great at comments. I just thought I'd share an update:
I did find a counsellor who specialises in Autism but I didn't make it past the consultation because I got so overwhelmed and never got back to her. I do want to reach out and apologise for disappearing at some point but it's still way too overwhelming. I already work with a counsellor who doesn't know much about Autism, and discussing it with her has been helpful even though I do want someone specialised at some point.
Ironically the steps required to get a doctors appointment are also overwhelming so no movement on that front, but I think I might ask for help to do it eventually
I shaved my head which was the best fucking decision I could have made - I didn't realise how much of a sensory stress my hair was and oh my god it's so freeing to get rid of it and not have the stress of washing and styling it.
I changed my winter wardrobe based on sensory requirements. I used to be cold all winter because multiple layers are so uncomfortable for me, but it turns out I'm better with fitted clothes that don't move so much so bodysuits have been a life changing item to buy and help with layers.
I'm pretty sure I've also got ADD or ADHD, and after talking to my sister (who is diagnosed with ADHD) I'm realising this is definitely in the family - she also believes she's Autistic and I agree. I can also recognise traits in our father and multiple members on that side of the family. I really don't know how my sister got through the school system without someone spotting it because the visible traits she has are far more stereotypical and she was singled out at school for the disruptive elements, but at no point did anyone suggest an assessment. I really recommend looking at your family if you have them because it might be easier to spot things in them, and use it to understand yourself more.
I've told a 5 people in my life that I suspect I'm autistic. One of them got diagnosed right after I commented that, and we're very similar people, so that was wild. One of them doesn't really believe me and thinks it's something else, but she's from an older generation with different definitions, and also has traits imo. One was my sister who agreed and told me she's found the same for herself. Another was unsure out of lack of knowledge, but supportive. And the last one has been the best one because she was the one who actually first suggested it, and her brother is autistic, and she has multiple autistic friends so it's been incredible to have a friendship with someone who gets it and is educated enough to really be able to support me and help me out with zero judgement or weirdness whenever I get nonverbal or get overwhelmed or whatever. So even though there are people I intentionally have not told, I'm grateful I told the people I did because it's made our relationship healthier and I don't mask as much with them anymore which is nice.
I decided that I don't really care about a diagnosis at this point in time. I'm not comfortable labelling myself as autistic without doing so, but I am comfortable saying I likely am autistic/neurodivergent because it helps so much.
Learning autistic-specific strategies and techniques to help with life has been a game changer. I bought some noise cancelling earphones and have never experienced that level of calm hahah. I bought a weighted blanket and learnt a lot more about myself and what my individual needs are. It's been such a wild journey of learning what affects me and learning that not everyone experiences XYZ, and understanding how stressful it was to live without those adaptations because once I fix an issue I'm more sensitive to when I go back for whatever reason, so it's added a lot of very important context to some chronic health issues. Obviously a diagnosis is far more pressing when it comes to work and finance etc. but I already wasn't able to work and am financially supported at the moment. I do think that could be the deciding factor for a diagnosis in the future.
I also did calm down from the overwhelm of that comment eventually. It was really difficult for a few months and honestly I ended up in a bad mental space for a while because it was so much all at once to have a new context for my most painful memories, but I promise I got to a more stable place again, so if anyone is in that really unstable crisis stage - I promise you it does ease up even though it's really horrible when you're in the middle of it, and remember that things like the Samaritans exist (I had to call up twice in that period and it's ok if you can't talk much but just need the safety of someone on the other end of the line until you calm down, you don't have to be actively in danger to call really you should call way before that stage)
Basically if anyone reading this relates to what I commented earlier this year, I really recommend getting mental health support (because if you also have trauma like me, it might be intense to get that deeper understanding of dark shit all at once and have memories come up one after another with new context), and applying what you learn about because ultimately if something helps you live a better life it's helpful whatever your diagnosis may be.
I lost so many friends due to understanding. When she said "pain is real". Yes, it's real. Especially when i tried so hard to connect to the world but i can't do it. I lack social skill
Yesterday, I was diagnosed autistic as a female and at 36 years of age. Started to suspect only a year ago. I feel a little like I’m out of body at the moment (the news just hasn’t sunk in yet). Thank you for your videos. ❤️
A few months ago I discovered Paige Layle on tiktok who did a lot of videos on autism and masking and I started realizing I related to it a lot. Then I tried telling my sister about it and she basically said there's nothing wrong with me and I'm just a b*tch, so then imposter syndrome just kicked in and I forgot about it. But recently I've been thinking about it more and doing more research and I really think I am autistic. I really want to get a diagnosis but I'm kinda scared and this video helped a lot. I will definitely be making a list out of my habits that I have or used to have when I was younger.
In realization phase now. Made an appointment to see my therapist from when I was a child. How the emotional rollercoaster has been so exhausting has taken it's toll. Its so relatable, everything you say.
I’m going to a psychiatrist tomorrow and I’m hoping that he will believe me and finally diagnosed me with an ASD. I suspected I was autistic for several years, but now that I’m 18 - I can finally do something about it. I had a pretty bad mental breakdown yesterday, after which I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist. Wish me luck!
I'm currently on a waitlist for diagnosis. I'll feel very relieved if/when it happens but I'm also concerned that if I start speaking openly about my (probable) autism like I want to, it'll be used against me to invalidate me, since I'm also trans, and people seem to think autistic people are somehow less able to know who they are.
I also feel like I can't really imagine feeling able to speak up about my autistic needs and difficulties, since I've being doing ok-ish so far. The idea of suddenly telling people you need more accommodations than you've had before seems odd when the world sees you as an already perfectly functional adult. Did you ever have similar worries?
hey i’m in a pretty similar situation, and it might comfort you to know that there’s a huge correlation between being trans and being autistic, so you’re definitely not alone:)
this is why I can’t ask for help
I have the doubt I might be autistic or adhd, or both, or maybe something else entirely, but I am an adult and I am supposed to figure out how to get a diagnosis myself, I've been trying for years and it's getting so frustrating and upsetting that everytime I try to research facilities or experts I feel like crying cause everything is too confusing and complicated.
In highschool I talked to the school counselor about the idea I might have adhd, he told me he doesn't believe in adhd, that it's just a diagnosis they give to difficult children to give them pills and sedate them. I gave up but I kept struggling HARD, so Years later I reached out to a psychologist, I told him I thought I might have adhd, he told me that I shouldn't self-diagnose myself, and he couldn't give me a diagnosis Anyway, if I wanted to get a diagnosis I should talk to a therapist. Gave up again for some time but when I started working I had a bad breakdown, so I went to talk to a therapist, he was great and helped me a lot, but told me that he couldn't give me a diagnosis, that I had to talk to a psychiatrist if I wanted a diagnosis. I couldn't afford therapy anymore so I gave up for months, and only recently I did get in contact with a psychiatrist, and ONCE AGAIN I was told nope, we are not specialized in autism, all I can do for you is give you meds for your anxiety and depression, but you should reach out to a specialized facility. He told me he would look it up himself and contact me if he found one, but never did. So a few days ago I tried to research for a facility, most were ONLY FOR CHILDREN, not near me, or had very confusing websites and I couldn't figure out if it was what I needed. After almost braking into tears I finally found one and wrote them an email, they haven't even responded to me yet. Honestly wtf. My concern is, what if I don't have autism, will they reject me again? Do I have to look for an adhd specialized facility then? WHY IS EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED!?
First off to whoever asked the question, congratulations and welcome to the family 😀
You have a wonderful way of explaining Sam.
You also are a "Shinning Wit" and not the spoonerism of that phrase. Keep the awesome content coming💓
You got me right there, my document is 37 pages long. Actually it was the GP who said to me I might be autistic after a meltdown at uni, I had never even considered it before.
I love techno and climbing, repetitive rhythms that vibratie your body and weird dancing is expected, super nice lights, no small talking, what's not to love?
Great video. I was diagnosed earlier this year after 10 years of going backwards and forwards between professionals and being diagnosed with all sorts, incorrectly. It was actually my therapist who finally got to the bottom of my issues....her background is she used to be a mental health nurse though, so maybe has more experience with it. She referred me to the adult ASD team and it turned out she was right. 🤗
Hey Sam! I just wanted to let you know I love your channel, and this video (as well as others) really helped me along my journey towards diagnosis. I've just been diagnosed (autism + giftedness) and I'm feeling so relieved! I took your advice and wrote a document about my experiences, and plotted them against the DSM-V criteria; it turned out to be 26 pages lol. Between that and the intake form I wrote 18,000 words for my assessor, and they valued it and took it all on board. To anyone else out there at another point on this journey: your document is not too long, you keep writing it as long as you need to; it's your life and it matters.
I tried to tell my mother, but she just told me she was to busy, I know that she doesn’t want to go through the sorrow of having a another kid with disabilities, because my sister had down syndrome and autism, and my brother has something. Yet, I need her to understand that I have Autism.
I live in this very part of Russia, hello!
Thanks for the info, I binge watch your videos since the first thought of mine that I could be autistic, they are so helpful
Thank u Sam for sending the autistic traits template, I will integrate this system. When people ask me why I think I'm autistic, I struggle articulating the many reasons I have in my head, and my constant internal monologues about it. I should practice an answer that I'm comfortable and satisfied with. I have this issue in general of blanking out when people ask me wide questions. Like "what music do u listen to" and suddenly I can't come up with any name🤷♀️
Noor - Wide question or open questions.
I know why this is is using the working memory.
This isn't developed as strong in autistic.
Like I know days in history 9/11 was a Tuesday.
7/7 a Thursday.
Michael Jackson died on a Thursday.
The long term memory.
But then it takes me awhile to answer a open question.
Like what have you done today?
What do you want for dinner tonight?
Takes longer to answer.
@@garyfrancis5015 Thanks Gary, it made me research about it.
Working Memory is the thinking skill that focuses on memory-in-action: the ability to remember and use relevant information while in the middle of an activity. For example, a child is using their Working Memory as they recall the steps of a recipe while cooking a favorite meal.
Really interesting. I'm indeed not good at remembering instructions, like road directions, instantly remembering a serie of numbers, following a recipe etc.
And I'm probably the worst quiz candidate ever cause even when I know the answer, it comes wayyy too slow🙂
(Sorry of I answer u late, RUclips doesn't always notifies me when u comment, don't know why).
I, (F15) finally brought up the idea that I might be autistic to my therapist. I agree that because she isn’t a specialist, she was maybe a little dismissive. The fact that I’m a teenage girl and do not present stereotypically definitely didn’t help. But we’re going to do some screenings next time I see her and then finally talk to my mom and GP. I’m just barely at the beginning of the journey, but it’s videos like these that gave me the courage to finally take the first step. You’ve really made me feel less alone. Thank you so much for that :)
I just got my official diagnostic today, about ten hours ago. I wanted to thank you Samdy because this video was really helpful in the diagnosis journey and gave me courage to go for an official diagnosis. Four months of interviews and tests. I was completely scare and anxious the whole time. I'm male, but I feel more identified with the typical traits of female autism, so I was terrified of being misdiagnosed. I felt an instant connection with one of your videos where you talk about pretending to be Miss Bean because I used to do that also (pretending to be Mr Bean). My psychologist confirmed that I'm high masking.
The autistic journal advice was really good and my psychologist also congratulated me on my efforts. I feel relieved, but I'm still trying to figure out what this means for me and what to do now.
Thanks for your work and dedication, it has changed my life in a positive way.
Hi Sam,
almost everything you say really resonates with me. I've been looking into autism for a year now ever since I moved out from home, had to socialize with new people and had to work in a new environment. I've always felt a little "odd" but I was quite comfortable in my familiar friend circle cause I was so used to them and knew how to interact with them. Same goes for living with my family. I could be myself with them, could live out my daily rituals etc and wouldn't get judged for anything. Now that I'm living by my own I'm struggling. Very hard. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, I felt like an alien. It got pretty bad. I'm scared to get a diagnosis because I'm scared of not even getting diagnosed. But I'm certain that something is up. I've always had difficulties with so many things and now everything hit me at once because I don't have my usual support system around. There's always been this question mark above my head and now there's a question. Is it autism? But I'm so afraid that it isn't. Because then I'd just don't know why I'm struggling so hard with regular tasks almost anyone doesn't seem to have a problem with. I've always had problems focusing in school, I've never approached anybody in my life, all my friends approached me. I've been very slow in learning how to use public transportation and so on but I know that I'm not dumb. I can't talk in a group, especially in a group of strangers or at least people I wouldn't consider friends. 1 on 1 conversations are the only way to go. For many years I started crying whenever my family laughed about something because I was certain they're laughing about me. I simply didn't understand. It's difficult to explain and list everything. I just want to know what's going on with me. But I'm scared (Sorry for any mistakes, I'm German. And sorry for rambling, had to get it off my chest because I haven't talked about it to anyone)
I feel the same way! I don’t have a formal diagnosis, but as I’ve been watching videos and reading more about it, I feel like I’m seeing myself for the first time and it’s incredibly emotional. It’s hard to not have people to talk to about it and I’m glad you could get it off your chest! I hope you’ve found supportive people in your life to talk more about this with.
I'm 50 and just learning that I'm probably autistic or at least on the spectrum. I did the questionnaire and yup, I hit most of the markers. This explains MANY things about my life. Unfortunately here in Canada it's very expensive to get an "official" diagnosis so I'm going to have to wait and see if I think it's worth while or not. Thank you for making these video's. Without them I may never have known and always be wondering....
I can confirm, Storm and Lily are suuuper cute! 😁 (I’m on a wait list now to get an assessment too)
I watched one of your older videos about a week ago (it was literally my very first autism-related video) and it led me to my "lightbulb" moment. This video came at a perfect time as since then I have been binging ALL the videos and info I can find! It was like you were speaking to me directly. I am 39 years old and have never been diagnosed, but everything I've learned has just "fit." It explains so much of my life! So even though I'm not the type to leave comments I wanted to sincerely thank you for everything you've posted, and for you putting yourself out there to help people like me. I could never do what you do, but am so grateful to you, truly.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you are finding the answers you need
Yo Samdy Sam I wonder if her first video of your she saw was autism in girls.
We enjoy watching the out takes of your video last year.
I know it was a bit of fun.
But it was also a point that you do have problem with remembering what to say.
So the out take showed the difficulty process.
Showing the autism mind can just go blank.
Pretty sure there's an autistic man in Bristol uk who goes clubbing with his cat. Truth as I know it. I met him once, but can't be 100% he's autistic, but pretty sure
Having a few drinks tonight. Life is fucking tough. But I know I'm not the only one. I am not encouraging drinking by the way. It is NOT the answer. I'm just saying how I am right now. The last 5-6 years have been very hard :((((( My last relationship fucked me up. She put me down in many days in relation to my autism and it's messed me up completely :((( I have such a strong heart and desire to show my love and empathy but now I feel very upset thesedays :(((
I've contacted relevant diagnosticians and I'm waiting to get my assessment date. I've compiled a document which lists my experiences sorted by DSM-5 criteria. It is currently at 15 pages, but I'm adding and revising daily. I still haven't mentioned anything to my parents, even though they know I've been in therapy for depression and anxiety for nearly two decades. I'm 43.
Miroslav Hundak Do you think there is a female aspergers profile?
I feel that boys with Aspergers might mask like girls at school.
The family gas lighting socially normal behaviour on them even boys.
Do you feel that even the male description of autism is not accurate to some boys at school?
@@garyfrancis5015 Without getting into too much detail, cause that's a very complex subject, I think you may be right.
I can't speak for others, but I had a relatively strict upbringing and certain types of behaviour were encouraged, while others were "sanctioned". It's easy to imagine boys and girls learning to mask from an early age in such environment... If they are able. Some autistics are not.
I am in the uk im 36 and I believe im on the spectrum i just thought alot of my experiences was just me a bit odd I flap an clap my hands while giggling when I'm excited and I sway constantly I get obsessed with certain things and I get lost in it I have a councillor I also have pharmacophobia a fear of medicines doctors and dentists this is why I believe I have not been diagnosed I have not took any medication or seen any doctors in 28yrs
I’ve always know I was “not normal” I’ve always just felt like I was different, then when my son told me he thinks I’m probably autistic and since then I’ve been reading up and watching videos, I’m fairly confident that he is right, because so much of what I’ve seen fits. Getting a diagnosis sounds terrifying to me, because phone calls and having to talk to new people are thing I seriously struggle with. Honestly though, just knowing why I am the way I am makes me feels more confident then I ever have been.
"Research for me is very comforting and other people for me are unpredictable." -- It's like you're telepathic! Thank you for saying this.
Did you make this video for me? 😆 I was diagnosed two days ago and this video is speaking to my soul 🙌🏽 thank you for this content!
I made this discovery about myself a week ago. I'm still in the initial stages of this storm of emotion and self awareness. The most profound part of this experience for me (...and there are many) is when I think about all the souls out there who've suffered with this as much as I have. The emotional gravity of that is intense. I've never felt so connected to people I've never met. I just want to say I love you all, and I'm incredibly proud of you.
Well, I'm definitely on the suspectrum. I first wondered if I was Autistic over a decade ago, but my mother told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't, so I let it slide.
Cut to 2021 after 5 months of lockdown and plenty of time for research I'm now 99% sure I'm Autistic. Currently trying options to get a diagnosis.
I've now watched several of your videos and they all chime very well with my own experience. Thanks, Sam. And yes, the Netherlands are great.
The document idea is so good, thank you 😭 I don't.. necessarily think I'm on the spectrum but some puzzle pieces clicked together recently and I'm very suspicious. I can't get it out of my head, I can't stop thinking about it and watching videos and researching and trying to figure out what's relatable and what isn't. But I was crazy overwhelmed and stressed out and ashamed when I mentioned it to my doctor (despite him being a massively supportive sweetheart). I'm def going to start writing things down, even just to help organize my thoughts and get things off MY shoulders lol.
Ooh I started a document in my phone and have been filling it with all the things I am recalling that apply! 😅 Glad to see that I was on the right track.
I asked my mother to tell me about some of my childhood quirks (carefully not mentioning "autism" because of her reaction about ADHD 24 years ago!)... and her first response was, "well, I was concerned you might be autistic." 😲
I emailed my GP a 6 page document, the massively shortened version, and she booked me a phone call appointment for the next day, she prepared well for it and agreed with me. I'm blessed to have her. I had a failed attempt at telling a friend (raised eyebrow and cricket noises), and an even worse attempt at telling my husband 🤷🏻♀️
as a 15 years old teen who is hiding a big part of their identity(queer too) i am so so afraid of talking to my parents and i don't even know why but it always has been like that and i was just stuck in between to decide if i was going to stay silent and play along or actually do something. since almost no one i see talks about it like the way i experience it other than you. this video made me a lot more confident about who should i tell first. and I think this person is my school counselour i dont know if she is knowledgeable about this stuff but even if shes not she can help me tell my parents, maybe. and thank you so much for talking about the scary uncertainity. almost everyone just doesnt notices or talks about it. and i also want to study psychology, for the same reasons you said earlier, and I find aspiration and comfort by you so thanks for that as well hope you the best!
Thank you so much for making a chart to fill out. I have a few pages with word vomit of why I think I'm autistic but it is in no way organized. I have am appointment with my primary care physician soon. This is amazingly helpful.
Also I really liked that you had a release date/time for this video. I liked being able to look and see what the title was and when it'd come out. Was very helpful.
Setting premieres for every week seems excessive, but I try to do a couple, since I like that sort of TV guide vibe too 😄
You're killing me, Sam... like I'm seriously anxious about even thinking about making the time to write out my "document." 😅
You're totally right though; as much as I respect and even love my Psychiatrist, his PAUSE was followed by asking me why I thought this and what difference would it make to get diagnosed now (I'm 43). It was tougher to answer him than I would have thought, but he referred me to a Neuropsychologyst for testing.
Bottom line (for me, at least), if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone on your medical team about this, ask yourself if they should even be on your team... and a second opinion should never be discouraged.
I know some people hate labels but when my therapist said that I could be autistic everything started to change.. for good..
I told 2 people from my workplace that I could be autistic and now they understand me better.
I am taking care of myself for the first time in my life and I no longer feel depressed.
In september I might get an official diagnosis.
♡jay♡
So glad things are working out for you!
Ah yes the document. I had a very long one of information I gathered for almost a year that I lost access to because my phone broke and had a little meltdown over it like a couple months before the appointment date :’) I ended up writing another shorter document with what little amount I remembered and sending it to the doctor who was evaluating me and that turned out to still be 16 pages :’) I got diagnosed but I feel like the fact it was color coded and very specific and thorough showed I was autistic in the first place lmao
I told my therapist that I thought I may be autistic and she laughed at me and told me "You're NOT autistic" and I haven't had the courage to bring it up to anyone since... I'm truly not sure If I am autistic (despite relating to so many of the experiences and traits of diagnosed autistic people) but to have it dismissed so quickly and without any explanation as to why she thought that really confused and upset me.
I am so sorry you went through this! I am honestly so scared to tell anyone I am seeking a diagnosis because of this reason.. It is so invalidating to be made fun of for expressing a genuine concern. I think people are just unaware of the symptoms. I think a lot of our doubts come from how people react to us. We definitely internalize it and start to think we might just be the problem. I hope you can bounce back and keep reaching out. Someone will hear you!
Hi
Today I finally had a meeting with a psychiatrist and got a referral for an autism assessment. And I wanted to say thank you bc I took your advice to prepare for it by writing a list which was incredibly helpful. I'm really happy rn
This video definitely came at the right time, thank you!
When you said "you might have binge watched all my videos." I felt called out!
I actually talked to my old therapist about the autistic symptoms I experience and she dismissed me. I never came back, and canceled the appointment with the psychiatrist I was going to see at the time, because I was so embarrassed and imagined myself and explaining the psyquiatrist and he dismissing me again and I just couldn't cope with the idea. My mom wasn't supportive at the time. I felt so alone for such a long time. Now we are preparing to go together to the psyquiatrist and work things out.
Love the thumb nail Sam I like how you keep the audience guessing with glasses in the video without glasses.
It's just another surprise bonus with your videos.
I'm so glad you released this when you did. My fiancee is getting assessed in four days to see if she, like me, is on the spectrum. I plan on helping her with her "document" as much as I possibly can until then. Thank you, as always, for your insight, Sam! Wendy and I really appreciate it! 😁
My realisation is a massive relief. Ha! I’ve also started listing experiences/traits. My sister and husband have been so supportive. My nephew has a diagnosis so my sister knows a lot about it and is helping me remember my childhood behaviours. The huge relief got me is that I’ve been trying (through therapy) to force myself to learn/do/ be good at stuff that I’m not actually going to be able to. I can stop shaming myself for my meltdowns. And I finally understand my issues with executive function. Huge relief. Definitely want a formal diagnosis.
thank you for the video. I am currently suspecting and researching a lot. My husband just now in reaction to something i did (again) just.said to me "you are like an anarchist, you don't conform, you simply dont care about the rules on doing this or that, and it's not on purpose you just dont care"..
and then i Just heard about it on a video.
then i told him i was nervous about a presentation of mine i had to do in 2 hours and he just said "you gonna be great, you spend 2 days obsessed reading all about it". like you always do, remeber our trip last year the you read about the country for over a month?
and then i listen to you and is so relatable
anyways just wanna tank you
Im a sensory seeking autistic and yeah, I like clubbing. Not always and certainly not every night but I do really enjoy it :)
I'm in thw process of finding someone to diagnose me. I definitely feel less valid without a diagnosis. I have a lot of medical and mental health issues and have been invalidated a lot so that's why. Your channel is helping me validate myself which is important
I love your channel so much, thank you so much for your support ❤❤🎉🎉 I am working on getting my diagnosis
I think my sister, (24yrs old), may be autistic, but being uninsured and earning to much for assistance I don't know if we can afford the testing.
She's been unemployed since the shutdown, and is really struggling with interviews, and job searching. Tried to help with her resume and interview skills, but she will shut down, become quite upset, or dismisses my advice.
I love my sister, but lately am really struggling to "co-exist" with her, and yesterday we had an argument/fight and she said some things that were extremely hurtful to me. I want to be able to better understand her, to understand where she is coming from, create an environment that we can both live in and enjoy, but also how to communicate myself and my needs to her in a way that won't cause more conflict then there already is between us. Any wisdom or tips would be immensely appreciated!
Thank you!
Just thank you for your videos. Autism runs in my family and it had no treatment since I was 8. 45 now. Life has been quite the journey and I've become very proficient in masking many traits. I was always tested for learning disabilities, then offered spots in gifted programs. I didn't like doing work that didn't interest me. Bring something up that I study and I'll hit you with a barrage of information that'll most likely make you forget what I was talking about initially.
I'm at the beginning of my understanding journey, but understanding so much already.
I have so many symptoms but until a few days ago I’d never even considered autism. I did have a therapist at one point, but in her words I “kept my emotions hidden”; the reality is that I didn’t even know how I felt. I’m fairly worried about telling my dad, but I do remember bringing up that I thought I might have adhd and he said that if I wanted, I could get tested, even though he said he thought I didn’t have it. I’m also uncomfortable because even though it was initially exciting to find that there might be a reason behind my odd behaviour, I don’t want others to judge me. I’m going to speak to him about it soon though hopefully, and this video did help so thank you.
Literally crying watching these videos omg
5:54 "You can like techno music and go into clubs..."
...HARDCORE raver here. o/
Excellent video! I can tell you put a lot of work into it.
Thank you so much! I try!
After much pushing, my (NHS) gp gave me a referral. the guy did a 'qualitative assessment'.... which isn't the standard for a reason. Another 'problem' is that I have ... not sure how to say this without being an ass, ... I have a high IQ and VERY good at masking, particularly in an interview setting.
So no help from the NHS, (yea. i know, big shock, right! smh)
I am kinda lost about what i should do and what would actually help.
Yo Sandy you are a natural comedian🤣 love watching your videos...we are so fortunate having people like you online to bring awareness to this condition....a big THANX 💛
Wow! I started writing a document today. Going over all of my history and describing things that seem to point to my being autistic. It seemed like the logical thing to do! Thank you for making that seem less weird!
Hi Sam I’m so sad as I have to work - I will watch later tonight or tommorrow. Looking forward to hearing points of view. Xx
Yep, Sam your not wrong I had a 30 odd page detailed report just like I am very detailed! 🧐🤖
Thanks Sam for your like is nice to know others do read and understand us Autistics
Very recently I've started suspecting this. Part of me still rejects it because I'm a self-glorified prick. Another part of me would be so relieved to finally know what the hell is up with me. Maybe I'm truly autistic, or maybe I'm just a 25 y/o who got bullied in school when he was a kid and has since beem struggling with depression, anxiety and maybe some other disorders that developed over time, like adhd for example.
One thing's for sure, my life is going to hell slowly, my mentality to be more precise, and I need to do something as soon as possible. I'll be seeing a therapist soon, so we'll see how that goes.
I mask so well not even my mother can tell. The self sabotage is the unhealthy bit. I won't get diagnosed because no observer will have anything to go on, it's invisible, therefore how can it be diagnosed. I wouldn't know how to turn the masks off so I am never seen as who I am.
A good therapist/psychologist should listen though (not "just" observe) and especially if they're specialised in autism/well aware of it still able to "catch" it. ;)
Mine was aware of my autism/thought it quite likely before it ever occurred to me; I've noticed how the awareness alone changed me/my mindset to embrace my autism more, so if you see a good professional they can still help you, provided that's what you want
@@tabitas.2719 Thanks for caring, but I'm in a way deeper trap. We're expendable you know, they just burn us, it's easy
@@tabitas.2719 Sorry for being negative, I feel like I dumped that on you, ignore my negativity, only a temporary state
@@tabitas.2719 Yep, it's like getting handed the keys to your own car
YES! research is very comforting and other people are very predictable
Thank you for this video and the template! I'm really struggling with whether I want to seek out a diagnosis or not, because I'm so unsure. My suspisions first arose in November of last year (and yes, I did compile the 6 page document) and I resonate a lot with the autistic communities on reddit, for example, and have enjoyed and related a lot to your videos.
However, I'm really struggling with distinguishing possible autistic traits in myself from symptoms of mental health issues (i.e. stimming, sensory sensitivity, select mutism, poor executive functioning, obsessions, dissociation etc.), like depression, anxiety and possibly ocd. When I look back at my childhood, I can tell that I was definitely struggling a lot in the social department and generally I can see quite a lot of autistic traits in my childhood self, but since I have gotten better in some aspects, like socialising (although often sometimes struggling with that, at least on the inside), possibly due to compensatory strategies, it's just really hard to say for sure.
Long story short, I would really love to get some clarity but I don't feel comfortable going to my GP or a specialist before I'm not more confident on my suspisions myself. I know that's kind of twisted but I guess I'm just afraid of possible feelings of humiliation, having opened up about this to people and then turning out to not actually be on the spectrum at all. And although I'm 19 and could technically go about seeking a diagnosis myself, I think it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to at least one of my parents first about this to get a second perspective on my childhood but I get horribly anxious from that thought alone.
In the obscure case that someone actually took the time to read through all of this, first of all thank you, and secondly, I was wondering if maybe someone could give me some advice based on personal or professional experience. Maybe if enough people relate, it would also be nice to get a video on it, although that is just a suggestion.
The first person I told was my therapist because I trust her. She said that shes not an expert but from what shes knows wha i told her makes sense. She also helped me tell mgy parents which was really nice. thats where I am right now.
forgot to mention (im 15) and a transmasc person
Great that you have such an understanding therapist!
It's hard to be an Aspie when your parents are Narcissistic..they refuse to see it for what it is because it's a reflection on themselves..or they take it that way..I had to walk it alone because neurotypicals can't deal with it and would rather have an excuse to scapegoat and manipulate...but I wouldn't change my perception fort the world..I'm proud I made it this far and am grateful for the special gifts it brings..there's no shame in being true to yourself.. BOSTON 🍀
Really excited for this! :) Glad it is on my day off so I can watch!
I'm obsessed with your shirt! I love the bold pattern, and the gradient going through the background is fantastic! 😍😍
"the first thing i did was make a big document of every memory that came up" i'm screaming bc that's what i've been doing all day that was my automatic first idea
I never thought that autism could be the reason that I acted the way I did. The first time I heard of it was when my mom saw me rocking back and forth and said "Don't do it you're not autistic" because se watched a movie about it.
I'm 24 right now and last year my mom befriended a woman that works with autistic children, and by talking to her she started to notice certain things matching my behavior. Because of this I started reading more about it and ended up going to a professional to do some tests, sadly I can't get my diagnosis because of the pandemic.