The ULTIMATE compilation of Steven Seagal Movie Lines
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- Опубликовано: 22 апр 2023
- Last night in a dream, an image of Lord Seagal came to me. It told me that I must compile the most comprehensive collection of Sensei Warthog clips and put them together for the internet to adore. The man has been overlooked for an Oscar, and that is completely unacceptable. It is time he is recognised for his dialogue delivery and impeccable emotional range. Bask in the glory that is, Sensei Steven Seagal.
Thank you all again for watching Seagalians. You are all legends and I appreciate the support and love.
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Howdy Seagalians. Just an updated clip compilation to keep you satisfied until our next Sensei Seagal video feast. What is your favourite Big Daddy line? Cookies? Birthdays? Turnips? Or perhaps when he calls himself a dumb mother-fornicator? Tell me. I'll pass it on to the Great White Buffalo. Thanks for watching legends!
Birthdays and Turnips.
"I will leave you to be eaten by the f****** jackals........ (Takes huge breath as oxygen low and changes tone) Who are coming soon."
(Pig buffalo snort) Okay..... Hrrrrrr... 🍩"
Illusion and cookies
'Seagal Hops in a Cab'
Cabbie says "where to?"
"I need you to take me to a place where I can find some drugs and some women.... Quickly!!!"
Great video as always... Also can you give me the outro's song name? May be Sensei Pickle Fingers singing, but the melody is actually pretty nice LMAO 🤭
For me, nothing will ever top - "well I'm sorry to hear that, because now, I will snatch every morherf*cker birthday." He should have won a Oscar for writing.
I was not born at night
I wasnt born in a fuckin turnip truck man
I'm a take you to the Bank............ THE BLOOD BANK
He actually wants us to believe that black ops contractors send 70 year old overweight seniors to do patrols and covert missions in high combat areas. He's a comedian for sure.
All joking aside, the line "Anybody seen Richie?" will go down in cinema history as one of the greats.
Been quoting that since childhood. I'm from Brooklyn so the neighborhood got a kick out of it lol
I like the “Fuck You” after
Along with "quickly!!". That's the most clear word I heard from Sensei Teletubbies.
Seagal is the truly the unintentional comedian of all time, these lines are just comedy gold. 😂😂
Nailed it! 🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆
The line where he said "I feel like I'm talking to a r******d child" was based off Seagal's own life. Every director of his movies has said that to him by end of the first day of shooting.
You can say retard, nobody's going to tell your parents
He might could be an illusion
@@DangerLurkingmakes me want to fly out a window multiple times
To be fair, he might be talking from experience if the story Katheryn Heigel tells about him is true
@@mrcritical6751Might could be. Might could be.
I have my military fitness test today and will have this on for motivation... listening to Steven is at least a +10 strength for a beta like me.
It worked highest PR score I ha e ever got
Sensei Segal's motivational quotes are the most useful of all. They really help with depression, during a divorce, bone fractures and hornet stings! He captured the beauty of turnips in them, too.
4:16 I love how she just pauses and stares before her next line as if she’s waiting for a “cut” from the director.
The Master Seagull has gotten me out of so many fights, whenever someone squares up to me, I use one of his immortal lines and it diffuses the situation. He truly is the Russian Mongol Italian German Japanese American to beat all Russian Mongol Italian German Japanese Americans
When folks hear you're gonna snatch all their MF'ing birthdays, they will run. Not out of fear though, just because they don't want to see what "snatching birthdays" is all about. 😅
You forgot his black phase
Don't forget he's also Belarussian and "a little bit Asian".
@@glowing571 And he said his mother was "native American". What is wrong with that sleezy dirtbag? Jeez.
@@antiquesandlearningtolive4369 I have an idea what it looks like, and now I’m afraid. Very afraid
I love the "It might could be an illusion" line from Seagal.😂😂😂
"Nobody beats me in the kitchen". Genius.
The “quickleeeey !!” Never gets old
That "turnip truck" bit gets me very time.
I know it's coming. I know he's gonna f*ck it up. And I burst out laughing anyway. Every time.
I'm sure he knows the line sucks, but thinks HE can deliver the fuch outta those lines.
What movie is it from?
@@inazumabokyaku-shinigodsei61 Sniper: Special Ops.
Hard to believe Sensei did not get an Academy Award for this.
@@Tim_the_Enchanter Man is truly a Godsend
My personal favourite, which I have used in life...."Yo fucknuts!"
"Vladhimeeer puuuuutiinn "
To the blood bank, 😂legit great line haha
I didn't expect to see this so quickly after my request. Thank you.
As I said, we had the same train of thought. Great minds 💪🤘 the more videos I make, the more I build my clip portfolio. It will grow with time 😁
I’m in awe of the great Sensei. His best movies were when he was Japanese, but now that he is from Vladivostok, his movies are still good.
And Belarus.... you know *waves hand*
"These are the best script lines I have ever seen!
& I wrote them"
-
Sensai Steven Seagal (5 time world Buffet Champion!) 😂😂😂🍟🍔🍪
Also a Gravy Seal and a Butter Croissant winner 🤣
Sensei Seagal teaching us that the most important thing in acting is not to act
There is no spoon 🫠
This is best video I have ever seen in my life. It’s insane beard gruff Seagal vs clean shaven high pitched Seagal it’s amazing. This is the come to Jesus moment almost killed me.
His movie show how bad ass and serious he is,but end up become comedy.
Sensei Seagal is the gift that keeps on giving, unwillingly, lmao
The fact that Seagal hasn't won 7 Oscars by now PROVES the Academy Awards is bullshit.
I just found this channel after going down a Steve Seagul rabbit hole and it is amazing 👏 🙌
Thanks Jawn. Welcome aboard 🙏👍
Seagal talking to a guy about being 50 pounds lighter. Oh, the irony 🙄
“I’m gonna take you to the bank senator Trent … the blood bank” 😂😂😂
i think whenever there is a war in the world just send him in see how well he does and we can all watch live
So, has anyone ever figured out why Richie ‘did’ Bobby Lupo?
Snatch every mf birthdays still blows my mind and makes me lmao 😂😂😂😂
Man! Back in days when i was kid, the movies weren’t movies worth watching if it wasn’t with Seagal or Van Damme! 😯 And remembering myself thinking how cool they were…😂
Never meet your "heroes." :(
You should do the same thing, but with people telling how awesome and badass Seagal is 😅
Segal is an international treasure. The world acts like it hates him, but, inside, we all love the F*** out of him because he wasn't born in a turnip truck.
"I love the fuck outta cookies!"
When segal open his mouth, its like a fart from the crouch 😂
How about a compilation of the sensei sitting down?
😂😂😂😂 this is hilarious as usual! Seagal is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to unintentional comedy!
1:30 is simply brilliant. Seagal has become a national treasure, good man.
Before he became a Glazed ham with Eddie Munster hairline and goatee
Steven Frederick seagal is pure action hero DYNAMITE
I don't know why 'quickly!' cracks me up so much lmao
Excellent thumbnail shot! I say this because even though I've been making fun of "Sensei Seagal" for years, ("Fun Tsu," "KUKIDO!" etc) I could never decide what the stupid face he makes while slap fighting reminds me of. The other day it hit me! (Like a chocolate chip shurikin) When he "fights," his face looks like he's trying, for all he's worth, to squeeze out a giant OPIOID TURD! Your cover pic is a prime example, thanks again for all the entertainment!
😂❤😂 loved it. But my birthday was just snatched away by a fat guy 😂🎉
And let me guess...He did all that to you while resting his fat A on a Chair? 😢
You missed the famous - you in the mood for a dance , sunti from the belly of the beast
Haha. You're right. I should have added that in, and then the clip of him dancing.
I will add that in the next iteration of this clip Compilation.
i cant help but love this man!
😂 this has gotta totally be improvised as no script writer could create this gold!
I love that pic of Seagal playing guitar you used in the thumbnail. It looks like he's letting go of a monster fart or sh*t.
Once again well done on another hilarious video 👏 👏 👏 👏
This is amazing. You are doing Seagal's work.
Steven Seagal, the greatest actor of this or any other generation.
"Anybody see Richie! Fu#k you!" 😂😅😂, He also should have said that the fish is too healthy for him to eat. 😁👍👍
no ones talking about how he choked on his own saliva talking about fish being sentient beings
He doesn’t say lemme tac up he says gimme a taco….
THAT. WAS. THE. SAFE. PLACE. TO. PUT. MAH. MUTHA. FUCKIN’. MONEY.
3:26 😂😂😂
That neighbor 😂 thing Im a boy but still I feel uncomfortable
But it might could be... haha
Seagal’s “hara” keeps getting larger. lol
Segals lines are like an impro theater show in which his two last braincells compete each other which one can come up with the more stupid words.
My favourite line was when he was fighting Gary Daniels and shouted "c***sucker mother***er!" at him. Can't remember the film, but it was ****ing shit.
Its called "Kill Switch"
When I try to think of the truly cream of the crop of actors 2 names come to mind Segal and Shaquille o'neal
Man before there was birthday and turnip truck. Now this entire video will rent free in my mind"every once in a while"
The funniest thing about SS is that he takes himself very serious. What a tool.
This is GOLDEN! Although I recognize some, I'd like to see a list of all movie titles that these soundbites came from (I am not strong enough to sit down and watch this many Seagal movies from start to finish)
Good suggestion Mark 👍. I will add more videos as my seagal quotes library grows. Future videos will have the movie names.
Everybody hit that like button. Quickllyyyyy!!
this guy is the Shakespeare of the 20th & 21st century
He would've been great as a Leslie Nielsen-type actor lol
Bring in the watermelons! Sensei Seagal posted!
3:17 How he's gotten EVERY WIFE/GIRLFRIEND EVER
"Imma snatch every mdf birthday."
Truly a master wordsmith.
I fell down from a sofa laughing
0:59 I love it 😂
young vs shit, he knows his first ten movies were enough
I'm just a Cook
We need Steven Seagal Sexy The ultimate compilation 😂🔥
Ok time to get me some new shirts here real soon. They’ll be a hot at work I’m sure.
I love your channel man, it's such a fun watch a listen. Keep up the good work, and may we all be blessed by the eternal sunlight and wisdom of the universes one true master, Lord Steven Seagal. QUICKLY! QUICKLY!!!!!!
Thanks Prez! I appreciate the support my man 🙏👍Life's too short to not have some fun whenever we can my friend
Ok. Teraz som už videl všetko :)
1:55 I'm dying.
You need to post more videos…
QUICKLYY!
at this point you dont know if he says dumber shit in interviews or in his movies.
So at some point after the early 90’s Steven Seagal turned into a caricature of himself?
04:02 i love the fuck outta cookies
3:41
“Oh I got to ffffff-
clean up my house aftuh that neighbuhs…
child came and dirtied it up and then uhh…
…
*dementia*
…
How bout if I can meet with her tomorrow”?
👍🏻
Sensei word salad
QUICKLY!
He's a rare breed, the "Hollywood" lolcow😂
The US military tie up people for interrogation and force them to watch Stephen seagal movies until they break mentally
Rumor has it no one has made it passed the first 20 minutes
.quickly... 😂
Seagal is representing not just America but also Russia with great honor, a TRUE INSPIRATION for both young and old!! ❤😂🤣🤣
Don’t forget Japan and Mongolia
Even I’m not this bad at writing one-liners, and I don’t even get paid to do it.
is it tach up or tack up? well, I say it to myself in the mirror before going to work each day. it fills me with cookie power.
I believe it may be TAC. As in tactical equipment. It's high brow army lingo. Developed by Seagal.
Oh I thought it was tank... as in, he's a big fat slow moving tank.
Why hasn't he done mumble rap? He would be a natural. 😂
Something tells me 3:24 wasn't supposed to be in the final cut but rather, he was saying, "ok"?, as in there's the scene now cut. 😂
What does Sensai important sentient being say at 3:51 ??
How to people not love steven? He's a walking talking comedy
Exactly. He's basically a walking God
@@senseiseagal1983 the man among men, haha thank you for these I needed a good laugh. Subbed
You forgot about, "I'm just a cook".
Was hoping for ‘There’s some sick shit up in here, alligator’ Wondering what movie it’s from. 😂
That line is from the movie Submerged.
I still sometimes have a hard time accepting the Fact that this person is real & not a South Park character
WHAT IS THAT SONG AT THE BEGINNING I HAVE TO KNOW
Whispering clown shoe 😅
3:24 did he forget his line? That seems so out of character for such a consummate professional as Sensei Seagal!