I'm an Asian guy who has attracted women of all races, including tall beautiful blond white women. And now my sons also do the same. Below are the key observations I've made in my life (I'm 50 now) that can help Asian men (all men really): 1. White women are attracted to physical dominance - Too many Asian parents raise their sons to be bookish and quite frankly, physically weak. If you are an Asian guy that desire white women, develop your observable physical dominance and you will attract them. This means workout and also learn to play a physical contact sport. 2. Be physically expressive, look women in the eye and not turn away - This to me is one of the biggest friction points between East Asian and Western culture. Asians tend to not be expressive with our faces and not make eye contact; we are often described as being "inscrutable" (really bad among the FOBs). Our Asian parents also disapprove of us taking acting classes since actors are viewed as low class on the Confucian hierarchy. Well, I'm a very physically expressive Asian guy and this totally turns Western women on. Western communication style puts great emphasis on body language so I think Asian men taking acting classes and learning public speaking will greatly improve their results. 3. Be sunny, optimistic, humorous - this personality type women universally find very attractive. 4. Develop your own artistic style of self expression - This can be singing, ballroom dance, painting, etc. Too many Asian parents force their kids into the same mold of playing the piano or violin. This creates a mass market uniformity to their kids. In the West, people look for individuality so by developing this, you differentiate yourself and show that you have a soul. 5. Develop your leadership skills and take on leadership roles - I'm not just talking about at work. Join different organizations and work your way up to becoming the leader. This can be at your church, temple, charity, sport team, etc. The leader is the person universally viewed as the "alpha" by their group. And girls of all sorts are flat out attracted to the guy who is the leader. A person who does all the above will be successful in life and also with women of every sort. Asian culture tends to overly emphasize the "hard skills" but neglect the "soft skills". By doing the above, you can offset the weakness in Asian culture and find greater success with the opposite sex.
@@hanooi7450 Thank you for letting us know. It really comes down to which girl matches up the best for a guy. I am Asian and prefer asian girls as they are a better match for my personality. Asian girls seem more stable overall.
Bro stop the cap, you've been betabuxxed my brother. You would've gotten destroyed in modern dating with apps and instagram. Only your first tip is helpful. What you fail to mention is that unnattractive men actually have their good traits perceived as bad, for example if you're 5 5 and try to be confident and a leader, other guys will laugh at you. Or if you stare at a women's eyes, they will think you are a creep (just watch tiktoks of younger women who have experienced this). Meanwhile attractive men will have their bad traits perceived as good (arrogance = confidence, talkative = social). Women don't like bad boys, they like attractive boys and attractive boys are douchbags because they don't need to be nice to get a girl. Times are different my friend, boomers won't understand. Before resources were very scarce and people starved, so being a provider was necessary. But since women make enough money now too, they can finally prioritize looks again.
One issue is that many Asian women (including most with media support) also hate Asian men. Growing up in the 90's and 2000's the the overwhelming majority of Asian representation in media were Asian women and most of them actively perpetuated negative Asian stereotypes against Asian men. The only author anyone had heard of at the time was Amy Tan and it is obvious in her works that she hates Asian men. The only actresses of note at the time were Lucy Liu and Bai Ling, both of which often played roles where they would have sex with white men. Even currently you have people like Sarah Jeong and Kimmy Yam who actively critisize Asian men specifically while letting the white men they love off the hook for equal or worse behavior. Of course if you call any of them out on their bullshit, they will cry misogyny and racism because those are classic Liberal tactics. I personally am so thankful that I am married so I no longer have to deal with that bullshit.
I remember reading Joy Luck Club in middle school, it was practically traumatizing how it multiplied my insecurities about being an Asian male. Meanwhile many Asian women I knew personally loved it. I credit that book to my continued inability to fully trust Asian women in the 20 years since. Lol
I think it's definitely getting better though! Especially because of social media's ability to expose western society to asian creatives. The area in America you live in is also a big factor... you could be in LA or like a white ass neighborhood in texas.
@@iswear4619 I grew up around a ton of Asians. The girls all dated non-Asians in high school and college only to come crawling back to us in our 30s after they were ghosted or abused by their first choices and they realized their dreams of mixed-race babies were hollow. Lol literally their words not mine! Meanwhile many of my Asian male friends decided to follow suit and date white girls but they quickly ran into the wall of mental illness, jealousy and obsessive control. The most successful guys I know had to go find a woman at church or back in the home country. I don't know what you mean by what exactly is "better"? Hookups, short term dating, long term dating or marriage? I define success as "sustainability" so obviously I'm concerned with the latter two.
“When I speak up people think I’m complaining” has to be the realest shit I’ve heard all year. As a man we are taught to suck it up, and if you’re an asian in the west sometimes we ARE the joke.
The racism is conscious, not subconscious, particularly in media. Even when Asians are visible, it is women. Men are rarely visible, in both shows and commercials. Stay strong and active.
@@chaosdimension6433 Hollywood industry only pair ugliest shortest Asian with most handsome whites for several decades Also Asian men who dated in high school usually have no problem dating attractive woman
Back in 2017 when I was on tinder, I realized these same exact things. All my guy friends were getting matches while I was getting next to none. I even saw the “no Asian men” tagline even from Asian women lol I got off the app within two wks cause I noticed it was making me feel some type of way. I went back out into the world, did it the old fashion way and realized dating apps are just a cest pool for undesirables looking for quick hook ups. Now 2022 Iam married and living a fulfilled life. It wasn’t easy tho my bros. I had to deal with so much social anxiety and self doubt but ALWAY do the opposite of what your feeling, it got me where Iam today. Cheers and good luck 👍
how did you meet your wife? It's so hard these days not to use Social media as a default dating, unless you want to go to bars and clubs and parties. But in my college Instagram was the number 1 dating site, or even facebook, not Tinder. Some chicks liked bumble.
@@bevs9995 I met my wife through mutual friends hanging out ! It was hard because I had anxiety being out and around strangers but it worked out ! Just have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. In hindsight, Iam glad I always went out when invited even though it caused me so much stress. Good luck to you !
Bro dont worry im asian to and tinder and alll the dating apps are blatantly racist and im not a guy who usually throws that word around lightly but it true.
1:12 to 1:31 The media is slowly starting to change for the better of Asian men in the western media. Owen Johnson from the “Fire Power” comic book is a young Asian-American male who is not only entertaining but also a stud. Glenn from “The Walking Dead” also was a character that was portrayed as a masculine Asian male (at least in the later seasons). Another Asian male character that’s masculine is Toji Fushiguro from “Jujutsu Kaisen”. As a black male in his early twenties, I’m liking what I’m seeing. The negative stereotypes are slowly going away.
Asian man here. Great video man. Hearing you talking straight facts about our problems being ignored resonated with me. People don't take our problems seriously because, like you said, dating problems are just seen as complaints. People see dating at such zoomed in, individualized level that they can't possibly fathom the sub conscious racism that can play into their decision making and biases. Things are getting better, but for all my asian bros out there, east, south east, south or anything: you got this, we are fucking awesome.
That's because there are legit misogynists out there who feel entitled to women, tainting the pool for others who simply want to highlight racial bias in the dating scene.
To all my Asian Bros, I look at it this way. A lot of us have worked hard in high school and college for the 100k 200k STEM jobs and neglected our social skills. Now when we have obtained the high paying STEM job, reinvest some of that money to hire a dating coach and work on your style, fitness and game. It is hard out there, but chin up and keep going.
So what does the average Asian guy that is not smart enough to make that much money? Also look up this Asian doctor that made $3 million a year and yet his model wife is an escort to many men.
@@NolimitatioNYC exactly most of us have had 20+ years of sociocultural conditioning from our families and communities to excel in STEM and little to no conditioning at all to excel in game. It would take a considerable amount of time, money and an actually legitimate instructor (good luck finding one haha) to make up the difference. And even when we do have everything (great job and hot girl) maintaining that lifestyle isn't easy and those 12 hour days at the office away from home combined ith online dating and social media make it very easy for women go go behind our backs with us completely unaware.
@@NolimitatioNYC Find someone that values you. Value yourself. If someone determines you by money. Let them go. IF people care be thankful because you don't mess with them
@@bedroomtalks I've been trying to find that person all my life. Regardless of race, its all about looks and height. Today especially height. When you have neither, girls just wont talk to you. I've done many catfish experiment to prove it. And I notice several tall people I know gets girls without saying anything nor has any game.
Young Asian man here, and Fuck yeah, I agree with EVERYTHING you said. Let's give hope and POSITIVELY influence the next generation of our Asian American Men.
Pretty happy that you're representing us Asian guys. I'm from Australia and realising that I'm not alone. My dating prospect hasn't being great for many years, but I'm working on my self improvement journey.
Asian men should think about dating non-white women. I am sorry but videos like these are mostly based on negligence by white women. The thing is that Western beauty standards are not going to portray Asian men as a heart throb. That industry is driven by white men & women. Non-white women who also suffer in the dating world understand the concept of social acceptance better.
@@chebuwright4216 Partly? I am saying that Asians have to be open to dating other non-white races as well. If they keep crying about facing baseless rejections only from white women, then it just makes their argument worse.
@@pmike5386 I don’t know if purposely looking outside your race is a solution. They are likely to face the same challenges. If the goal is to be valued and sought after then why look to a group that typically doesn’t? But if the goal is just to date white women because that’s what you are surrounded by then expect to continue to find difficulties and try to conform.
@Youry Tyua Racism involves a sense of inferiority, being better than people based on their race. That’s not typical in most minority groups. Not being attracted to someone because of specific features isn’t racism. There are a bunch of different reasons why some races don’t typically interact let alone date/marry. Look at the scenario from the different layers impacted. Culturally there are huge gaps between groups (some more than others).
@Youry Tyua But it is much more likely that non-white women will understand false stereotypes. Asian men should explore more. That's all I am saying. Literally every video on the net which talks about Asian men facing difficulty in dating revolves around white women. They themselves are hyping Western beauty without realising it.
@@bedroomtalks the root cause behind asian men being undesired by white women in the usa is gendered racism. It's wrong, and it needs to stop, but white women don't have the moral fiber to change and do the right thing, so here we are
Came across your channel and I think as a community we are making progress because of your content. Keep doing what you do and there is plenty of young Asian American that can benefit greatly from your willingness to share your values and perspective. Keep it up brother, the youngins needs you!
No, this has been an ongoing issue since the inception of this country when Chinese men started marrying white women and scared the bejeesus out of white men because of it. That’s when the Yellow Peril propaganda went into full speed ahead and never stopped. Think about every single news piece on China and Chinese people…99% of the time they’re negative and it doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC. About a year ago, a Chinese professor was accused of treason and he was **AUTOMATICALLY** guilty in the eyes of the media (and therefore by the rest of white Americans) despite the fact that a few months later, he was cleared of all charges.
@@BookofJob3XVII trust me, certainly a century later Asian men will be the most sexually attracted men, and all anti asian trolls will be alone and crying on street
I feel your pain on the media image of a people creating women's expectations. For black men that portraying athletes or rap thug. So if you're a regular dude. People expect to live up to the stereotype
my fav ex who was my best bf is japanese, and my current bf is korean and chinese; he a cutie and my fav person. ive always been intrigued by the culture and the traditions. i wish this wasnt the case bc asian men are amazing, beautiful and smart. this world is a whole mess. sending love from canada xo
I was at a company party. Half of my coworkers are Asian. Mostly guys. There’s maybe a sprinkling of Asian girls. There was a pro photographer going around taking pics. Even though I’m an ugly white dude, the photographer got me in several shots. All of these pics were posted on the company site’s social page. After looking through the page, I thought I noticed something, but had to go through the page again to make sure I wasn’t just thinking silly. Lo and behold, my observation was correct in that there weren’t any pics of my male Asian coworkers even though they were right next to me or at a table close by. If you looked closely, you might see the back of one of their heads. But the photographer either chose to not take pics of the Asian dudes having a good time or whoever was in charge of the site left them out.
I understand what you mean and what you said. Even though media falsely portrays us through stereotypes, we just have to push through them by coming off different than these stereotypes to polarize women in dating. The moment we believe the bs..we become the victim. Unfortunately, no one likes people who portray themselves as a victim. That's why we need to push the media and make our own films and content.
I definitely empathize, I know Asian men have gotten a bad shake in life, and I understand deeply because as a black woman the same thing is happening on our end. I think we definitely need to speak up more for good representation for groups who don’t get enough, there are too many stupid stereotypes that could be dispelled if we only worked to do so.
False equivalence. Bw have a bad reputation because y'all act a straight fool everywhere y'all go. Asian males need to stop acting so scary and quit thinking just because they exist that women are supposed to just throw themselves at them.
Acknowledge the bad and realize we're in this together bro! We gotta come together as a team to tackle this problem. We gotta raise our standards and not deal with bullshit and have the power to walk away
@@aloisiussi4635 I disagree. Unless you are a stereotypical athlete/rapper type with aggressive or violent tendencies you're completely invisible to women as a black guy. Most women who go for us black guys have thug fetish, so if you fail to be "hard" or show too much emotion or whatever then you're off the radar. I find it incredibly annoying. Personally, the types of women who are into thugs are a complete turn-off to me anyway. Usually the most materialistic women with low IQ. Granted, I think every race of women has a subsection that likes "dangerous" men but those aren't the women geeky black men can get. In my case, it also doesn't help that my facial features look very ethnically ambiguous for a black guy (I look somewhat Indian, bordering on European in some aspects). I don't have huge lips or a super wide nose, so I'm not on women's radar when they are looking to fulfill their idealized muscular black athlete/rapper fetish.
@@KahinAhmed72 Black men are the most physically dominant and masculine race on earth, and so do in fact have it easier in dating white vvomen if they are clean cut. IMO.
asian men can have success for sure, it starts with going to gym and developing a physique and then becoming confident , i rarely see asians at my gym who are having trouble with women. my asian friends who had trouble were all in academia and business, smart but didn't figure out any game.
Thanks for speaking on this, discrimination towards asian men isn’t highlighted enough. Asian women don’t go through the same problems we do and even actively participate in the stigmas that hurt us. Im an Asian man in the Midwest and it’s tough.
As a white man that lives in a large Asian community I wonder where do Asian kids draw inspiration from in the media? Like black kids have so many entertainers and are so well represented in the media & so are whites people. Music, acting arts etc. & I never see any Asians.
That's a great point man. That's something I've struggled with my entire life.. Things are slowly changing, but when you don't see anyone that looks like you. It's not the most motivating feeling.
@@bedroomtalks Yeah.. everyone should just stick to their own race by your logic so no one can empathize with other races in your narrow limited world....
Asian female here chiming in. I grew up around a lot of Asian Americans, and I have a lot of Asian American guy friends. I think part of the problem is some Asian men limit their options due to parental expectations and do not know how to set boundaries with their parents. Some Asian men only pursue Asian women because they think those women are the only acceptable options in their parents' eyes, and in the process, they overlook many amazing White, Latina, and Black women who would have otherwise been a great fit for them. I think Asian parents often try to restrict who their children date, and it's common in Asian households for Asian parents to tell their children "Never date a black/Hispanic girl or boy." White significant others are sometimes more acceptable, but I definitely knew some families who gave their sons a hard time for dating a White woman. One of my male cousins dated a Latina girl in college and broke up with her due to parental pressures. He ended up breaking up with all his non-Asian girlfriends because his parents always decided she wasn't good enough. Now, he is almost 40, and his parents are confused why he is still single.
@@bedroomtalks I appreciate the fact you didn't get mad when reading my comment. As an Asian female, I empathize with a lot of issues Asian men face, but sometimes find it hard to be honest with some Asian men because I feel some Asian men get extremely angry and defensive when Asian women offer any criticism of Asian American culture (but accept the same comments if Asian men make those same observations). I think it causes a big rift in the Asian American community when in fact, we have the potential to create a more open and honest dialogue about issues in our community and come to a more shared understanding when trying to support each other.
@@ilikecheese2239 great viewpoints! Also add one observation, my Asian male friends who were raised by their dad with masculine characters, they usually have no issues dating
@@mengtimmy9947 that's an excellent observation. Many of the Asian men I've come across who have struggled with dating tend to have overbearing mothers and passive/enabling fathers. My cousin (the guy who dated and broke up with his Latina ex) had a very overbearing mother who tried to control everything in his life, and the father was very passive, and more or less agreed with whatever the mom wanted.
@@ilikecheese2239 overbearing mum and submissive dad create a false image to their son. The son expects that being a man is getting dominated by their spouse That turns even worse in an immigrant parent, when the submissive dad became social reject, it has double the negative down to the son A nerdy Asian friend of mine with glasses dated several attractive girls and chose a beautiful Asian girl as a long term partner. My friend is super proud of his dad. Keep spread your insights to Asian community, even though lots of them are damaged beyond repair, but we will break the propoganda machine if we only get a small percentage of Asians truly successful. Good luck my following sister!
You talk about lack of media representation but do you think part of the other issue is Asian Parenting style that teaches Asian kids not to have confidence or speak up? I know i myself had dealt with this issue and some Asian parents (not all) can be very demanding.
In my house hold I was never able to express myself or speak up lol this cause me to have no social skills and no self identity the identity my parents laid out for me didn't work like just focus on school go to college and they are mad and I'm like bro this is your life plan you planned out for me and it ruined most of my life lol
@@quincy189 yeah damn, such a shame that happened. I hope you’re doing well at this point! Parental dynamics are a complex thing to talk a out sometimes
@@all-star6025 yea and culture has big influence too like people raised in western mindset can't understand and that my parents also raised me to depend on them they didn't raise me to be independent and when I needed to depend on them they failed me too. And I'm just thinking its a tactical trick to raise me to depend on them too cause this gives them full control over what I do like as in I would have to ask for approval and they can deny funds or resources if they don't agree.
Great video and I agree with everything you said! I’ve experienced that same racist comments from women “Oh sorry, I’m not attracted to Asian guys.” I’m 6’0”, muscular build, and was a model in college so the issue with me isn’t looks or physique but just merely my race that is the issue with these women.
Ron they weren’t for you anyways. Be glad they showed their cards right away they aren’t compatible to you. There IS women of other races that will date you. Weed out the ones that don’t so don’t take it personal. I learned to not take that personal and it as result it didn’t shoot my confidence down.
Don't let the ignorance get to you. Anyone who doesn't give another person a chance based on something that none of us have control over (race) does not need to be in your space any way. Sending positive vibes your way and to anyone else going through what you did/do.
@@kwolf2145 nothing in my post indicated any Beta type personality. The issue isn’t Alpha or Beta or these women would say so. They simply said they aren’t interested in dating Asian men so it’s simply my race.
Bless you brother, I'm crying for you, I love Asian men, I'm a Latina and Native American too, beign part Asian I know how hateful Americans are to us the Other, I loved Crazy Rich Asians, I was born with beautiful slanted eyes and I got What are you? What the h. ? I'm not an alien from a wierd planet, Bruce Lee rovked, he was totally bad ass, in the 50's he broke barriers, family we are all created to love and be loved, Our Creator made all of us, Asian African American Indian Jewish Muslim American and all other beautiful people from other countries, we must find our worth and value in Who made us, then we can look for our partner spouse and build our own family, out of our pain from rejection we can heal and have great compassion for others and be the light this world needs, having healed from so much hate and rejection I now can bring health and healing to others still suffering, I'm not perfect just real and honest, in this plastic fake society people need real genuine people and I chose to be a light in a very dark world. Much love to you my friend and to all my gorgeous fine Asian brothers !!!
Yeah, it's sad but he is right. Definitely the media representation. We look out of place in the society because of the western media. No one is telling our story, other than asian media. We need to support more content that's coming out of Asia.
Asian men are handsome, intelligent and highly skilled in many aspects of tasks from cooking, building, teaching and making things. In all groups of mankind this group is tops !
You should take a trip to Sao Paulo, Brazil. It'll trip you up when an overwhelming majority of Asian white couples you see in public are Asian Brazilian men and white Brazilian women.
@@zachariahsrivilay8854 I'm assuming you're Asian. I'm not sure I'd recommend Sao Paulo. I consider myself a 6-7 out of 10 looks hapa and i didn't get tinder dates there but then again i didn't boost my profile or optimize it too much. I'd recommend Rio De Janeiro where you're much rarer or any second tier city like Fortaleza or Florianopolis. People will pull their eyes and kind of make fun of you even for me as half Asian but just educate them why that's not nice how they're cariacaturizing us when they do that.
Hey brother thank you so much for this video. I just found your channel and its honestly a gem and thousands, if not millions of asian men can relate. I am an asian man mid 20s living in a predominantly white city (70%) and over 1 million population in Canada. I noticed that a huge issues hurting us asians is our ethnic names. Im not sure if you have a white name or ethnic name but when I am using my ethnic name on dating apps I can't even get 15-20 matches a week on tinder but when I shorten it to make it look white I get over 100 plus easily. I would consider myself slightly above average looking for an asian dude (square jaw, mens physique look, full hair, dressed well). I used tinder for a while after a 2 year relationship and realized how much I was discriminated on the dating market. I was even being discriminated by asian women which made me somewhat angry. I deleted it after using it for a few months and decided to spend time improving my looks, income and skills. Back in high school I had a decent group of friends but now that I am graduating university I noticed almost everyone treats me like an acquaintance/token. Even at work(Engineering) people my age don't really open up to me and I consider myself an extremely social person. Do you think that having an east asian name makes us even more invisible? I have a few asian male friends (chinese, korean, viet) who recently changed their name to a white one and I am honestly thinking of doing the same. Keep it up man this channel will hit 1mil in no time!
Hey man! Thank you so much for the kind words and support! One step at time until 1 mill :). Sad to say but yes having an ethnic name puts you in the foreigner group. My name is Minh and a lot of people are surprised when they hear my voice. I used to go by Max in college and made things significantly easier. But at the end of the day I use my real name with pride and attract individuals who don’t care. You’ll lose in quantity but not quality :)
@@bevs9995 I swipe really fast because I don't feel like spending hours on those apps. I look at maybe the first 2 pic, don't read bio then decide either right or left so a lot of the times even though I matched its not really somebody I would considering going out with. The point of my comment is that east asian men are being priced out of the market and even by their own race of women and thats a real problem. I've had quite a few guy friends who are tired of this and decided to anglicise their names to an english one in the early to mid twenties and saw a dramatic increase in quality of life. South asians have less of a problem because south asian women tend to date within their race so its mostly east asian being discriminated against in this scenario. And I don't go anywhere near 900 dates a year haha maybe 50-70 a year when I was single. I live in a 1million plus city so I would say 80% of those dates never turn into a second date and a lot of the times its just girls trying to get a free dinner or drinks. I deleted dating apps for almost a year now and I decided to work on myself such as improving my income, fitness and career goals as I am still in my mid 20s and feel like I have time to improve myself.
@@shawnfriedman537 you just said you get 100 matches a week with a whitified name, though your ethnicity listed and pictures are still asian. and 15+ matched with ethnic name 900 - 4,800 matches a year is plenty. and 60 (50-70) dates a year is still plenty. Thats more than 1 a week. If you are not happy with atleast 1/3rd of those options, you probably deserve to be single. tbh.
I used to try very hard to fit in to the white society as my family believed that we as immigrants should learn to be white in order to not be excluded from opportunities. However, after years of being treated like shit no matter what I do, I came to realization that as long as I have the face of an enemy, I will never be accepted by everyone. I had faced discrimination both at school, dating/friendship in the US and now at work in the so-called multicultural society here in Canada, I just don't give a shit any more about pleasing others. I started my journey back in 2019 working on my fitness and mental health, and man I can start seeing the changes earlier this year. Not saying it is easy but I think it is a necessary process for every guys, and not just Asians, to go through. To every Asian guys that are struggling, I urge you to start making small changes, and consistence is key. And most importantly, fuck what other people say. Just my 2 cents
Fellow Asian guy here. Yeah we the fricken best. Representation is not really prevalent in the west and it sucks. But we gotta take pride in. The little things. It’s in my opinion is getting better but it’s not a walk in he park like for other guys (ex white, Hispanic , black) I’m in the military and I went to Japan. I’ve learned the culture and continue to be active in learning about my culture. Im in my own world when I listen to J-POP and K-pop. I choose my own style and stick with it. A week ago I had been hit on by a waitress at a Mexican restaurant. Honestly get off the apps. Go to like a high end restaurant by yourself and act like you the shï* . Go see the world and travel. Go learn a new language. Get involved with a book club, church, or language exchange.
Fellow Black guy here. So black men's experience in the west and globally have been "a walk in the park"? 🤣🤣🤣.. your asian male insecurities have you delusional.
It's good to hear that the Asian men stick together. Also, I find certain groups Asian men attractive and was on various daring apps for 1+ yrs. I actually displayed I was only interested in Asian men. Later found out, they don't find me attractive. Oh well. At least I learnt my SMV.
Lived in Colorado since I was 6, growing up there were maybe 1 or 2 Asian kids at my school. Not very diverse at all. Now I’m 40, and I’ve always been attracted to Asian men. I’ve wanted to explore dating one but there’s none around. Or if by some miracle I meet one, he’s married or taken or doesn’t act like he’s interested (which is totally fine). I still have hope I’ll meet an Asian man one day but that hope is dwindling each year. I’ve dated other races but I have a special place in my heart for Asian men and it’s not a fetish, I’m not into anime or k pop, I just like the culture, the facial features I find attractive, things like that. I’m a white woman and Asian men aren’t invisible to me. I actively look at them in my daily life since they’re rare where I live. And if a woman I’m chatting with says they’re not into Asian men or don’t find them attractive, I have a folder of pictures I’ve saved on my phone for this purpose to show them Kim Ji Hoon as the character Denver in Money Heist Korea, or Dori Sakurada as Niragi in Alice in Borderland, or Brian Tee, etc and they shut right up and change their minds haha. I’ve done this about 6 times now and it’s so fun each time to see their faces change with lust for the “Asian male hotness factor” ahem, cough cough 😆
Honey, let me tell you I’m an Indian woman and we love Asian man because they are bad ass. They are handsome and they are hard-working and they have morals and respect. I love them very much.❤
Know your self worth ... always improve yourself look better go to the gym... take care of yourself know your goals..act on them, have confidence become a high value asian man don't simp amd have a stoic mentality. When you have that people treat you differently
Asian male here - I make between 120k-135k on any given year. I agree whole heartedly my brother Above average looking person I'm 5% body fat year round I exercise daily I'm in a town where I stick out like a sore thumb No love. You are 1000% absolutely correct, we need to assert ourselves and stop trying to be "humble" all the time and say something when it is needed I am the only top percentile in my company that is only Asian. It appears all white males/females have dominated managerial roles It is possible to overcome but man the mountain is very high to climb Be smart, be wise, work your f*cking ass off both in your career, physical fitness, and social game Not much ROI but it could be far worse if you're not attacking your career, physical fitness, and social game After much time of thinking, maybe it is best to relocate to even have a standing chance I've had many Asian brothers from different countries/continents outside the USA who don't struggle as Asian Americans do: Australia, Europe, South America, Canada And agreed, dating APPS for Asian Men is to STAY AWAY from. It only wastes your time, money, and your chances of getting a 5 out of 10 is second to none. It is like we're living a bizzaro world Relocate!
i live in toronto canada let me tell you the so called idea of ethnic men suffering throughout the entire west is somewhat subverted here, i see all races asian, indian, african, middle east, all considered ethnic but not have trouble in dating. you have to really examine the culture around you and see if it's cxckblocking you. what is required regardless of race though is self-development, otherwise you will not attract any women, for me to get some good success i had to go to gym and now i am social skills maxxing. good luck to asian brothers.
No offence, seriously are you 5 percent body fat, I am interested, because only bodybuilders on stage and starved people are in that range. I agree with most of what you said, but be careful with the hard-working trap, don't do it for women, do it for yourself. Lots of introvert Asian men make double than you still dateless, they basically exhaust their dating game and simping
@I.am.me "Yes Brother, speak up for..." If you live in a western country, you've just exemplified a reason why you and your mates are "invisible" as described by the speaker. You're raising the drawbridge then trying to assert your superiority ! How to win friends and influence people ! Be a bloke, not an Asian bloke.
I’m sorry to hear this. I’m a Hispanic female that, until recently, believed that Asian men preferred Asian women. I’ve dated mostly Hispanic and White men, not so much because of a strong preference, that’s just that’s who approaches me.
Thank you for saying this. I think we have been afraid to voice our discontent. That people are gonna call us racist or pussies or that you don't get to talk about this etc. The truth is, us not speaking up about this is being cowards. There is ZERO way any other group would take this, perhaps other than black women. We need to stop taking the shit and saying that its normal When we are in a place where there are fifty white guys with asian girls and not the other way round, we should be angry. Perhaps we should very calmly without calling names, ask...wtf is happening here, maybe ask some people what they think shouldbe done.
I am Asian. But I have to acknowledge that there is no example of Asian Americans who showcase masculinity, bravado, rebellion… I think this has to do with how immigrant parents treat kids. They are molded into conformists, worker bees, rule-following overachievers. These are not the kind of people American society find sexy. I think in many ways we might deserve some of these stereotypes, and we have to break them ourselves by refusing to be the nice, shy guys. Fight back, be an a-hole sometimes, stop listening to parents and go after our passion, use your fists when diplomacy doesn’t work, insist on getting exactly what we want… then people will start realizing most Asians they see are different from what’s in the movies and start respecting us.
On the bright side, Asian men are getting more representation but the progress has been going slow, and we’re not on that same level of representation as any other race. I also want to encourage other Asian males to stand up against the system/media that has devalue, undermine, and emasculate us to the extent that no one even gives a shit about us, brushing us aside, and oftentimes gaslight us. If we wanted things to change quickly the best option is we need to uplift each other, unite, address problems, and find other people who would side with us. But seeing how people would turned a blind eye on our struggles it’s going to be difficult for our voices to be heard, let alone by mainstream media. Worst part is, we’re seen as a threat.
As a guy of south asian descent, I feel your pain brothers. I am close to 39 now and still find the game massively difficult, despite working out, taking on leadership roles, living abroad, and doing cool hobbies like rap music. Strangely when I lived in Manila and Japan for 2 years, I hooked up a good amount. It showed me its literally just down to how asians are perceived in the USA. The funny thing is, its not just white women. In the USA I struggle even with latinas, black girls, and so on. Even 50% of Asian girls seem to date out.
I worked in Manila & traveled to Cebu every other weekend for 3 months.. I was always the only BM around; every now & then a BM would show up..chinese & japanese & of course filipino women were super sweet to this exotic dark meat..AW are very sweet.. But damn I really miss the overt sexiness of BW & WW..So as a BM I’ve been in your shoes..
The key thing to note here is that we’re still just a minority. Only about 7% of the entire population in the U.S are Asians, the numbers are completely stacked against us. When people think of Asians, they still picture a nerdy kid with glasses who barely speaks English, with a heavy accent, and is only good at math. Honestly it’s pretty amazing how much we as a race have accomplished despite making up such a small portion of the country and I can only see it getting better over time.
Why are Asian men invisible? As a fellow Asian man, my question is- what are you doing to make yourself noticeable and desirable? I was an scrawny, bookish, glasses and braces wearing guy who one day decided he was sick of things and started working on the things that would make myself desirable. That means actively updating my looks, getting physically fit, going out and working on my social skills, travel and learn about the world and you know what? I’m now popular and attract others everywhere I go. I can do it- you can too.
Looks like you didn't start that far behind. 1st and 2nd generation immigrants come here with good health and a positive mindset so it's not that tough to make those minor changes.
100% agree with all the issues brought up. I live in Perth Australia, and this place is stuck in the 70s. I gym, dance, DJ , and have a 6 figure salary. I am tall (5"11), and decent looking. None of this matters as it doesn't change the fact that I'm an Asian man. This automatically relegates me to bottom of the dating pile. It doesn't matter how charming, masculine, or successful you are. Being an Asian male is an automatic -5 handicap. It's time we have our own black lives matter moment. This has gone on for far too long. We need to make NOISE and to FIGHT for change!
As someone growing up in the late 90s-mid 2000s, one of the few places in media with any Asian representation at all was in rock music. My friends at the time were mostly nerds, goths, skaters, or a combination of those. I only knew one non Asian girl who had a thing for Asian guys and loved Asian rock musicians like Jerome Fontamillas from Switchfoot, Mike Shinoda and Joe Hahn from Linkin Park and Rich Okamoto from Houston Calls. Oddly enough, most Asian-Americans I knew at the time preferred rap, R&B or pop music which had essentially no Asian representation at all at the time. I guess it's kind of like how most Asian guys prefer basketball and football which have almost no Asian representation at all while ice hockey and baseball have a far larger (albeit still small overall) amount of Asian representation but almost no Asian fans.
Where did you live in the 90/'00? I grew up in similar era...and I only dated caucasians/latina. No east Asian gf at all for me. They had no interest at me at all, perhaps I was a skater/punk/artist type😊
@@rualablhor: I lived in a small town north of NYC. Most Asian skater/punk types I knew were guys, most Asian girls were preppy types who listened to Rap, R&B or Pop or they were orchestra nerds.
BM love golf, many love hockey, stock car racing, mens tennis , winter sports and there are few black faces in these sports.. Black folks like good white music with rhythm.. most rap have good rhythm and a beat you can follow; and black americans set standards in music all over the world; we have major problems getting good roles in white dominated media too..But we are working to change all that white shit..That’s what CRT is teaching american history..Now BM don’t let our women talk shit about BM without a hard foot up their ass in response back..AM gotta bring out the foot too..
I'm not going to lie, sometimes when I express myself like this even thr asian men would say something to me like "stop complaining" and I honestly stopped even trying to date girls online. I am going to try this in person but tbh thats even hard 😒
You have to admit, it's a really pathetic thing to complain about. And it's not like you're going to get any sympathy from society so it's better to just suffer in silence. It honestly sort of fits into more traditional asian masculinity. Read into Asian philosophy like Musashi or Confucius and you'll see how often they advocate a more detached and aloof lifestyle.
The thing is that even you are Asian, if you are funny, charismatic, strong, confident and well dress, you get attentions everywhere. Vast majority of Asian American I have seen are none of them. It doesn't matter what race you are, if you are poorly dressed, no experience of the world, physically weak, then you are invisible anywhere.
Thanks for making videos. Please continuing making more. I learnt English from you. I love your accent. Can you make some videos for teaching English or sharing some tips for ESL? Thanks.
As an Asian guy I still can't understand---and confusingly so---why I get any attention at all. There was time I was so insecure about my looks (I thought I was ugly) until this gorgeous woman at work was attracted to me. I started projecting self-confidence in public and I started getting second-glances by women. White women too. Having this suddenly happening feels like both a curse and a blessing. It really messes with your mind.
brother, let’s walk our own way. Don’t let them get to you, we, ASIAN MAN have been living on this world for thousands of years. We will thrive, we will grown and we are not going to be defeated by what’s happening right now! Trust ourselves. We can’t beg for respect. We will claim the respect! If the world really hate us, we will fight to the end, not for getting a women, not for being a model minority. We fight for ourselves, fight for our own reality.
Dude.. imagine white men moving to China and saying this crap? Obviously you're allowed massive in group preference aren't you and yet you think it's appropriate to express that huh?
You know that saying that say we like the ones who don't like us and the ones who like us we don't like them, saying that to say this maybe you both like each other but are shy and no one know how to make the 1st move, If the individual is open to different culture then it will be easier for them to date, People should date people that they like to make them happy and not the people that society like for them.
Hope to be taller than average. I got lucky at 6’1” and 185. I’ve maintained this height and weight since high school. Don’t drive a Honda. Drive a truck or SUV. Make sure you have a good salary. Don’t be out competing with the white guy. Learn to fight and fight dirty. Flirt with the white girls constantly and flirt with the Latinas. They love Asian men that are tall. Trust me on that one. I ended up marrying a Puerto Rican. Confidence.
That’s what I think too , driving a Ute or SUV would make me look more masculine than a hatchback…could you elaborate on the “don’t be out competing with the white guy” bit ? Given that most of the population is white in Australia , it’s almost unavoidable. Btw I’m 5’11 , is it a bit too short when it comes to dating white/latino women ?
@@Sleepycroc1204 make yourself stand out from the other Asian guys. Glasses? Get contacts. I myself don’t need glasses so I got lucky there. Hair style? Depends on your facial features and head shape. If you can do a high and tight slick back. Don’t do the typical Asian hair cuts. Clean shaven and hygiene should be kept up. Don’t be afraid to get dirty. Make sure you have manly skills such as being able to change a flat tire. Cook, women love men that can cook and be self sufficient. Dress like you are a rugged man but don’t wear cheap clothing. Women spot that stuff from a mile away. Keep the clothing classic. Keep the jewelry to a minimum if any. Keep a picture of your cat or dog or niece or nephew on your phone. When you are out and about, be pleasant. Say hello and how are you doing today. Ask the cashier or the the coffee server or waitress how their day is going. Make conversation. Always be a gentleman. And 5’11 is an above average height.
Dating apps only go by perfect celebrity looks alone. What do you expect. I am many generations American Caucasian. I met an Asian who moved here when they were 35. We meet at a flea market in NYC and went for coffee and have never stopped being with each other for 23 years. I have booked a cruise for when we hit 25. This will sound racist but when I was growing up, Asians only seemed interested in dating other Asians exclusively. It was rare to see the two races dating even in the NYC liberal suburbs, so I assumed incorrectly, and I never bothered even if they were cute. As people meet more Asians in daily life the stereotypes drop away. Be powerful! Your hot!
i am indian , never got swipe right dating websites, if its one turned out to be scam , even in real life as well . When u were seen near them they act weird , stare at you or accuse you.
There are a lot of women out there, non White and non Asian Like me, that would love to meet you, meeting an Asian male is so difficult Would you say that a lot of Asian males restrict their dating pool to White or Asian women? I have always found Asian men Attractive, no stereotypes, just simple attraction, Quite frankly look outside your usual types
Hey Guys, don't support Hollywood movies with poor Asian stereotypes. Just don't watch them at all, at least they will get less revenue and maybe a small message over time.
On a few occasions, when visiting with white women and even Asian women they've shared with me that they hesitate to date both Native American men and Asian men because they're uneasy about dealing with his family members, but they didn't elaborate why that bothers them. I have lots of Native American relatives and my experience with them and with many Asians I know is there's excessive pigeon-holing of each other and everybody else, and my intuition tells me that women really dislike that kind of thing. Just my take.
The reality is that these women are afraid of harassment from their Asian mother in law. It's projection. Interesting you mention Natives. Natives and Asians are closely related even culturally.
The gaslighting in the workforce is SHOCKING. My complaints get ignored, but whenver a more "charismatic" white or black employee brings up the EXACT SAME complaint, they get IMMEDIATE attention. And then I bring up that issue and I get yelled at for "being too negative"
I successfully used dating apps to meet my wife in 2007 and we have been married for 15 years. Meeting the right gal was just a numbers game to meet someone attractive who shared similar values. It is important to know yourself and striving to be the kind of person who you can respect and admire while seeking a partner. Know what you have to offer and know what you need from your partner. Both of you have to come together as a team and be committed to one another unselfishly.
This issue is not a Western issue. It runs very deep. I'm a white guy living in Asia, all across Asia this is prevalent. I won't go into the details, but I don't think it can be fixed. My motto is, life isn't supposed to be fair so make the most of it
He’s sees the alpha Chads succeeding in a white country and it pisses him off. Time for him to write a manifesto, sip vanilla lattes and watch sunsets alone.
Asian men are by far the most underrated segment of the population in the US. This is unfair and completely baseless anti Asian prejudice. This unconscious bias stems from all the Asian discrimination since Angel Island, etc. Our society is so racist. Asian men are no better and no worse than men of any other ethnicity, but they for sure deserve so much more representation, diversity of expression, acknowledgment of their individuality. I stand up for Asian men, honestly and authentically, and without typecasting or fetishizing them. Asian men are people! Equal to, if not better than most!
Well at least HE isn't shooting up schools because of a lack of desirability. Meanwhile YOU control the media and STILL are insecure 🤣, and believe innocent people deserve to be deleted because of your insecurities.
It’s not just about dating, it also goes into the work place as well. Esp in the military and law enforcement. Because those jobs are more masculine jobs, other white people and Hispanics just won’t respect you at a higher level. I know this from experience.
As a black woman the dating market is really sucky for us as well. The overwhelming stereotypes about us, I feel severely hinder us especially in online dating in my experience. I’m one of the few black women who is open to dating anyone of any race and it was very hurtful to have (mostly white and Hispanic men) purely sexualizing me. I’ve literally had white men tell me they wanted to have sex with me just so they could experience what it’s like being with a black woman before they die. As if our vjs are different from other women lol. Told a guy that before. I say all this to say I think black women can relate to a lot of what Asian men go through. I wouldn’t say we are invisible per se due to the hyper sexuality the media portrays. But the objectification and dehumanization is very real. Thanks for sharing your story.
I actually think black and dark skinned women actually catch my eye more, but most people think I'm a fetishist and insane for finding black women more attractive. Sometimes I feel like this world is created by the devil where the opposites are true from reality. I went out with Miss New York for a year, she was Guyanese black, dark skinned. My "friends" made fun of us like we were so pathetic for being together. She was a literal pageant winner. World is truly insane I feel.
I must admit this is very true. Asians in general definitely work harder than the rest of the world. I worked for some Asians at a Chinese food restaurant for three years. They did not take days off they worked seven days a week. Asians are just built differently lol But on another note I wonder is this the reason why places like Bangkok have so many transgender men? I wonder is it because they are seen as less attractive or less manly so they just take on the mindset of if you can’t beat them join them. Later on you see them they’re no longer men. They have transitioned..
To be honest guys personally I think in many respects Asia is better overall anyway. I would legit rather date and start a family there than in the West. I'm not sure why Asian men should go out of their way to act more "macho" or whatever to appeal to Western views of masculinity. In my view, Asian stoicism and intelligence is infinitely cooler than goofy-looking gym bros. I am more or less a mixed black/amerindian guy saying this. I am an artist and I speak Japanese. If you've ever been to Tokyo, Taipei, or Seoul you'll know exactly what I am talking about... The Western world is the past. Asia is the future.
Not if you are good looking. Good looking people are their own category. Asians dudes have to improve their physical attractiveness. Look at the Kpop guys. Basically the guide is to get lean , ripped, develop a sharp jawline, wear some make up to cover skin blemish and get a good haircut. It takes time and money but their is no other way. No one knows your personality .
Black woman here: we find Asian men attractive (YOU are handsome) We just didn’t think AM date out or even looked our way. I tend to have way better connections with AM.
I'm a bloke living in a western country so limited in my ability to contribute. Over the years, I have had discussions with women when this topic comes up. The outstanding criticism is that they are too money and career focussed so come across as self obsessed, introverted, with limited social skills and lacking empathy. That might also be the reason why there is an apparent ceiling. From a very limited sample, the Asian blokes who do better are those who grew up outside the Asian bubble ie, were the only Asian in a social group such as a class at school or a business in which he works. Australia's foreign Minister, Penny Wong's father was Asian.
Regarding your preamble there about "I can't speak for other countries (about racism toward Asian men)" Almost guaranteed that other countries are worse with racism, because they don't really talk about it or it doesn't get called out by any source of media.
I want to preface by saying anyone who is in Amxf relationship should link up with other amxf couples and just congregate in public places especially in metropolitan areas that have alot of wmaf couples such as the bayarea NYC. There are much more out there than social media or western society leads us to believe. These ppl need to be exposed to this so they can see that asian men are just as desirable as any other race. Of course there is a high possibility it could trigger these racist white black Latino men etc and or even trigger those same asian women dating outside their race. This needs to be seen by the general public bc media has extreme bias against asian men and will not change their ways not anytime soon at least to cast asian men in a positive light(alpha or sexual romantic lead). Rant: Honestly asian men have done this to themselves. We have been beyond patient to put up with their bullshit and blatant disrespect by society(mainly shaped by media) which only perpetuates the negative perceived stereotypes of asian men being effeminate weak passive timid etc..yes many of us are byproducts of our own parents personalities and the asian culture. We are raised to be polite respectful courteous towards others. This concept seems to be completely foreign to westerners as they mistake this as being beta or weak. Asian men do not need to resort to violence nor do we need to abandon our own culture and embrace western culture of being loud and brash. Instead asian men across the board need to get themselves as physically strong as possible. Not necessarily get as big as possible(size) but just overall physically fit and strong. Unlike height this is something we have complete control over. Being physically fit and strong is the baseline for any masculine man. One. obvious health benefits. Two. tremendous boost in your self esteem confidence three. you project a totally different image of yourself to others four. women are innately attracted to strong men just as men are attracted to beautiful women. Women want to feel the man they are with can protect them. What men will notice is the stronger you have more testosterone which makes you more of a go getter in life and this new found confidence translates over into datinglife daily interactions w/ coworkers etc.. Second i highly recommend asian men to put themsleves out there to socialize with as many ppl. Go to bars clubs gyms college campus and try to engage in conversation with men women alike(after they have started step one-get strong and fit). You may get rejected outright initially or they may lose interest quickly mid conversation. And don't let it discourage you keep putting yourself out there and you will realize you become more comfortable in that type of setting which will show your improvement in social skills. I emphasize social skills for Asian men just as much as getting physically strong. On average asian men are extremely socially inept and awkward. They have quite difficultly expressing themselves even to theur ownfamily let alone strangers. Social skills is absolutely crucial for men in life from professional setting to dating/relationships with ppl. Its almost a prerequisite to finding a high quality mate. Just like any skill the more you practice the better you will get at it. Likewise if not practiced it will diminish overtime. Humans are social creatures and there is a social hierarchy in society. Asian men if I'm being brutally honest are in the bottom of totem pole. When you are at the bottom of anything ppl by default do not respect you. This much is true for the dynamic between male and female relationships as well. Hence why women are attracted to men with social status and why asian women have been leaving their own men in droves to find a white guy bc they are at the top of the social ladder in our anglocentric society. Possessing these two qualities will drastically change the perception of an individual. However it is not enough for only few asian men to embark on this self improvement journey to have any sort of an impressionable mark on a societal level. Ppl will continue to categorize Asians as a whole in one box regardless of there are strong alpha male asian men here and there. This needs to be embraced as part of the asian culture it should be "part of the curriculum". It should be adopted by all western born asian men to immigrant asian men. Asian men should still maintain their polite gestures and respectfulness of asian culture while maintaining a masculine frame that is respected by men in western society and highly desirable to western women. Society will not change overnight as the damaging effects of indoctrination and asian emasculation portrayed in Hollywood western media has been going on for decades. It will require about the same to reverse all of that but it will be a step in the right direction so eventually future generations of young asian boys don't have to face what their parents did. Rant.
We didn't do it to ourselves. Our parents did it to us because you were never allowed to socialize, self expression was punished or mocked and discouraged, the only hierarchy are elders at the top with you at the bottom and you are always at the bottom, and arranged marriages were the norm for thousands of years. Your personality is formed in childhood and even in elementary school you can see who's the leader of a pack. I was in his circle. Getting good people skills will always be a lifelong struggle when you're older, if you didn't have it before, because you missed out on so much in the most important time of your development, that everyone else didn't. And Asian guys have to really work at getting strong just like we have to work at getting fat.
I'm an Asian guy who has attracted women of all races, including tall beautiful blond white women. And now my sons also do the same. Below are the key observations I've made in my life (I'm 50 now) that can help Asian men (all men really):
1. White women are attracted to physical dominance - Too many Asian parents raise their sons to be bookish and quite frankly, physically weak. If you are an Asian guy that desire white women, develop your observable physical dominance and you will attract them. This means workout and also learn to play a physical contact sport.
2. Be physically expressive, look women in the eye and not turn away - This to me is one of the biggest friction points between East Asian and Western culture. Asians tend to not be expressive with our faces and not make eye contact; we are often described as being "inscrutable" (really bad among the FOBs). Our Asian parents also disapprove of us taking acting classes since actors are viewed as low class on the Confucian hierarchy. Well, I'm a very physically expressive Asian guy and this totally turns Western women on. Western communication style puts great emphasis on body language so I think Asian men taking acting classes and learning public speaking will greatly improve their results.
3. Be sunny, optimistic, humorous - this personality type women universally find very attractive.
4. Develop your own artistic style of self expression - This can be singing, ballroom dance, painting, etc. Too many Asian parents force their kids into the same mold of playing the piano or violin. This creates a mass market uniformity to their kids. In the West, people look for individuality so by developing this, you differentiate yourself and show that you have a soul.
5. Develop your leadership skills and take on leadership roles - I'm not just talking about at work. Join different organizations and work your way up to becoming the leader. This can be at your church, temple, charity, sport team, etc. The leader is the person universally viewed as the "alpha" by their group. And girls of all sorts are flat out attracted to the guy who is the leader.
A person who does all the above will be successful in life and also with women of every sort. Asian culture tends to overly emphasize the "hard skills" but neglect the "soft skills". By doing the above, you can offset the weakness in Asian culture and find greater success with the opposite sex.
My man this was wonderfully put! I hope more people see this comment and can apply it to their own lives. Thanks again for watching!
Great advice, thanks for providing all your information. Is your wife Asian or non Asian? Just wondering.
@@Ray-iz7tv I married Asian in the end.
@@hanooi7450 Thank you for letting us know. It really comes down to which girl matches up the best for a guy. I am Asian and prefer asian girls as they are a better match for my personality. Asian girls seem more stable overall.
Bro stop the cap, you've been betabuxxed my brother. You would've gotten destroyed in modern dating with apps and instagram. Only your first tip is helpful. What you fail to mention is that unnattractive men actually have their good traits perceived as bad, for example if you're 5 5 and try to be confident and a leader, other guys will laugh at you. Or if you stare at a women's eyes, they will think you are a creep (just watch tiktoks of younger women who have experienced this). Meanwhile attractive men will have their bad traits perceived as good (arrogance = confidence, talkative = social). Women don't like bad boys, they like attractive boys and attractive boys are douchbags because they don't need to be nice to get a girl. Times are different my friend, boomers won't understand. Before resources were very scarce and people starved, so being a provider was necessary. But since women make enough money now too, they can finally prioritize looks again.
One issue is that many Asian women (including most with media support) also hate Asian men. Growing up in the 90's and 2000's the the overwhelming majority of Asian representation in media were Asian women and most of them actively perpetuated negative Asian stereotypes against Asian men. The only author anyone had heard of at the time was Amy Tan and it is obvious in her works that she hates Asian men. The only actresses of note at the time were Lucy Liu and Bai Ling, both of which often played roles where they would have sex with white men. Even currently you have people like Sarah Jeong and Kimmy Yam who actively critisize Asian men specifically while letting the white men they love off the hook for equal or worse behavior. Of course if you call any of them out on their bullshit, they will cry misogyny and racism because those are classic Liberal tactics. I personally am so thankful that I am married so I no longer have to deal with that bullshit.
Dude I feel you! Thank you so much for speaking up and sharing this. Yes we need to be there for eachother. Keep your chin up brother!
I remember reading Joy Luck Club in middle school, it was practically traumatizing how it multiplied my insecurities about being an Asian male. Meanwhile many Asian women I knew personally loved it. I credit that book to my continued inability to fully trust Asian women in the 20 years since. Lol
@@ViperXMambo: Maybe that's why I ended up marrying a black woman.
I think it's definitely getting better though! Especially because of social media's ability to expose western society to asian creatives. The area in America you live in is also a big factor... you could be in LA or like a white ass neighborhood in texas.
@@iswear4619 I grew up around a ton of Asians. The girls all dated non-Asians in high school and college only to come crawling back to us in our 30s after they were ghosted or abused by their first choices and they realized their dreams of mixed-race babies were hollow. Lol literally their words not mine!
Meanwhile many of my Asian male friends decided to follow suit and date white girls but they quickly ran into the wall of mental illness, jealousy and obsessive control.
The most successful guys I know had to go find a woman at church or back in the home country.
I don't know what you mean by what exactly is "better"? Hookups, short term dating, long term dating or marriage? I define success as "sustainability" so obviously I'm concerned with the latter two.
I've embraced my Asian male invisibility. I've done all sorts of crazy sh*t and it's never been noticed. 😆
Ha! That’s awesome bro! Reverse uno card
youre my spirit animal bro
“When I speak up people think I’m complaining” has to be the realest shit I’ve heard all year. As a man we are taught to suck it up, and if you’re an asian in the west sometimes we ARE the joke.
Gotta keep doing it or surround yourself with better people
@@bedroomtalks yep, and sometimes zipping it is easier than moving and finding yourself and others unfortunately.
The racism is conscious, not subconscious, particularly in media. Even when Asians are visible, it is women. Men are rarely visible, in both shows and commercials. Stay strong and active.
it's not racism, it's lookism
@@chaosdimension6433 Asian men have more masculine facial features and look young, get over it troll
@@mengtimmy9947 then why are they at near the bottom of female preferences?
@@chaosdimension6433 Hollywood industry only pair ugliest shortest Asian with most handsome whites for several decades
Also Asian men who dated in high school usually have no problem dating attractive woman
@@mengtimmy9947 look here in youtube for "Blackpill 101 - E06: White fever in Korea (Korean men, DO NOT watch this video.)"
Back in 2017 when I was on tinder, I realized these same exact things. All my guy friends were getting matches while I was getting next to none. I even saw the “no Asian men” tagline even from Asian women lol I got off the app within two wks cause I noticed it was making me feel some type of way. I went back out into the world, did it the old fashion way and realized dating apps are just a cest pool for undesirables looking for quick hook ups. Now 2022 Iam married and living a fulfilled life. It wasn’t easy tho my bros. I had to deal with so much social anxiety and self doubt but ALWAY do the opposite of what your feeling, it got me where Iam today. Cheers and good luck 👍
how did you meet your wife?
It's so hard these days not to use Social media as a default dating, unless you want to go to bars and clubs and parties.
But in my college Instagram was the number 1 dating site, or even facebook, not Tinder. Some chicks liked bumble.
@@bevs9995 I met my wife through mutual friends hanging out ! It was hard because I had anxiety being out and around strangers but it worked out ! Just have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. In hindsight, Iam glad I always went out when invited even though it caused me so much stress. Good luck to you !
Fuck tinder. Join east meets west lol
Bro dont worry im asian to and tinder and alll the dating apps are blatantly racist and im not a guy who usually throws that word around lightly but it true.
@@chrisng5200congrats man 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
1:12 to 1:31
The media is slowly starting to change for the better of Asian men in the western media.
Owen Johnson from the “Fire Power” comic book is a young Asian-American male who is not only entertaining but also a stud.
Glenn from “The Walking Dead” also was a character that was portrayed as a masculine Asian male (at least in the later seasons).
Another Asian male character that’s masculine is Toji Fushiguro from “Jujutsu Kaisen”.
As a black male in his early twenties, I’m liking what I’m seeing. The negative stereotypes are slowly going away.
Absolutely brother
Asian man here. Great video man. Hearing you talking straight facts about our problems being ignored resonated with me. People don't take our problems seriously because, like you said, dating problems are just seen as complaints. People see dating at such zoomed in, individualized level that they can't possibly fathom the sub conscious racism that can play into their decision making and biases. Things are getting better, but for all my asian bros out there, east, south east, south or anything: you got this, we are fucking awesome.
That's because there are legit misogynists out there who feel entitled to women, tainting the pool for others who simply want to highlight racial bias in the dating scene.
To all my Asian Bros, I look at it this way. A lot of us have worked hard in high school and college for the 100k 200k STEM jobs and neglected our social skills. Now when we have obtained the high paying STEM job, reinvest some of that money to hire a dating coach and work on your style, fitness and game. It is hard out there, but chin up and keep going.
My brother YES. Cheers to us my guy
So what does the average Asian guy that is not smart enough to make that much money? Also look up this Asian doctor that made $3 million a year and yet his model wife is an escort to many men.
@@NolimitatioNYC exactly most of us have had 20+ years of sociocultural conditioning from our families and communities to excel in STEM and little to no conditioning at all to excel in game. It would take a considerable amount of time, money and an actually legitimate instructor (good luck finding one haha) to make up the difference.
And even when we do have everything (great job and hot girl) maintaining that lifestyle isn't easy and those 12 hour days at the office away from home combined ith online dating and social media make it very easy for women go go behind our backs with us completely unaware.
@@NolimitatioNYC Find someone that values you. Value yourself. If someone determines you by money. Let them go. IF people care be thankful because you don't mess with them
@@bedroomtalks I've been trying to find that person all my life. Regardless of race, its all about looks and height. Today especially height. When you have neither, girls just wont talk to you. I've done many catfish experiment to prove it. And I notice several tall people I know gets girls without saying anything nor has any game.
Young Asian man here, and Fuck yeah, I agree with EVERYTHING you said. Let's give hope and POSITIVELY influence the next generation of our Asian American Men.
Right on brother! Keep it up. Thanks for watching :)
Hope and positivity don’t change shitty genes
Pretty happy that you're representing us Asian guys. I'm from Australia and realising that I'm not alone. My dating prospect hasn't being great for many years, but I'm working on my self improvement journey.
Hey bro! Thank you man. Keep your chin up and keep going. It's not easy, but worth it. Keep bettering yourself in every single way. It gets easier
How tall r u
@@tanthaman 5'5. Super short.
@@blackdragon7038 I'm in Australia too. Its tough here to date bro
@@tanthamanisn't that your comment "yall keep crying i'm a 6 vietnamese guy and i don't have no trouble attracting attractive women"
Asian men should think about dating non-white women. I am sorry but videos like these are mostly based on negligence by white women. The thing is that Western beauty standards are not going to portray Asian men as a heart throb. That industry is driven by white men & women. Non-white women who also suffer in the dating world understand the concept of social acceptance better.
Partly agree
@@chebuwright4216 Partly? I am saying that Asians have to be open to dating other non-white races as well. If they keep crying about facing baseless rejections only from white women, then it just makes their argument worse.
@@pmike5386 I don’t know if purposely looking outside your race is a solution. They are likely to face the same challenges. If the goal is to be valued and sought after then why look to a group that typically doesn’t? But if the goal is just to date white women because that’s what you are surrounded by then expect to continue to find difficulties and try to conform.
@Youry Tyua Racism involves a sense of inferiority, being better than people based on their race. That’s not typical in most minority groups. Not being attracted to someone because of specific features isn’t racism. There are a bunch of different reasons why some races don’t typically interact let alone date/marry. Look at the scenario from the different layers impacted. Culturally there are huge gaps between groups (some more than others).
@Youry Tyua But it is much more likely that non-white women will understand false stereotypes. Asian men should explore more. That's all I am saying. Literally every video on the net which talks about Asian men facing difficulty in dating revolves around white women. They themselves are hyping Western beauty without realising it.
The worst part is they are all labeled incels by asshats online
I agree! It sucks to be labeled as such
@@bedroomtalks the root cause behind asian men being undesired by white women in the usa is gendered racism. It's wrong, and it needs to stop, but white women don't have the moral fiber to change and do the right thing, so here we are
Came across your channel and I think as a community we are making progress because of your content. Keep doing what you do and there is plenty of young Asian American that can benefit greatly from your willingness to share your values and perspective. Keep it up brother, the youngins needs you!
Hey Willi. Thank you so much for the kind words. It's comments like these that help me get better!
You spoke the truth man. Don't stop saying what you are saying. I think I would be mentally much healither if I grew up hearing this.
:)
This was an issue 20,30 years ago and still is.
And it will continue for the next 50-100,000 years.
Let's break this cycle!
No, this has been an ongoing issue since the inception of this country when Chinese men started marrying white women and scared the bejeesus out of white men because of it. That’s when the Yellow Peril propaganda went into full speed ahead and never stopped.
Think about every single news piece on China and Chinese people…99% of the time they’re negative and it doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC.
About a year ago, a Chinese professor was accused of treason and he was **AUTOMATICALLY** guilty in the eyes of the media (and therefore by the rest of white Americans) despite the fact that a few months later, he was cleared of all charges.
@@BookofJob3XVII trust me, certainly a century later Asian men will be the most sexually attracted men, and all anti asian trolls will be alone and crying on street
@@BookofJob3XVIIhopefully humanity will be dead by then.
It’s even worse for South Asian men. We register so low it doesn’t even matter.
I disagree with that. At least when it comes to tall, light-skinned South Asian men. Basically, the more one resembles a white man, the better.
@@rcrinsea good point. If you come from Kerala, Tamil Nadu or any southern parts of India you’re screwed.
I feel your pain on the media image of a people creating women's expectations. For black men that portraying athletes or rap thug. So if you're a regular dude. People expect to live up to the stereotype
My brother, keep your chin up. We’re all in this together. Definitely is a struggle but genuine individuals will see through !
my fav ex who was my best bf is japanese, and my current bf is korean and chinese; he a cutie and my fav person. ive always been intrigued by the culture and the traditions. i wish this wasnt the case bc asian men are amazing, beautiful and smart. this world is a whole mess. sending love from canada xo
❤️🌸🌺🌷
Thank you so much. Much LOVE!❤
I was at a company party. Half of my coworkers are Asian. Mostly guys. There’s maybe a sprinkling of Asian girls. There was a pro photographer going around taking pics. Even though I’m an ugly white dude, the photographer got me in several shots. All of these pics were posted on the company site’s social page. After looking through the page, I thought I noticed something, but had to go through the page again to make sure I wasn’t just thinking silly. Lo and behold, my observation was correct in that there weren’t any pics of my male Asian coworkers even though they were right next to me or at a table close by. If you looked closely, you might see the back of one of their heads. But the photographer either chose to not take pics of the Asian dudes having a good time or whoever was in charge of the site left them out.
Thanks for sharing my man. That is an interesting observation. Overlooked for sure
Thanks for the comment. You are a rarity among whites to admit this. Most of them denynit outright and think I'm mentally disturbed.
I understand what you mean and what you said. Even though media falsely portrays us through stereotypes, we just have to push through them by coming off different than these stereotypes to polarize women in dating. The moment we believe the bs..we become the victim. Unfortunately, no one likes people who portray themselves as a victim. That's why we need to push the media and make our own films and content.
I definitely empathize, I know Asian men have gotten a bad shake in life, and I understand deeply because as a black woman the same thing is happening on our end. I think we definitely need to speak up more for good representation for groups who don’t get enough, there are too many stupid stereotypes that could be dispelled if we only worked to do so.
facts! Thanks for watching
I had an Malato African American girl as a Girlfriend. She went to UC Berkley. I thought this was great.She was a regular girl? Nice.
False equivalence. Bw have a bad reputation because y'all act a straight fool everywhere y'all go. Asian males need to stop acting so scary and quit thinking just because they exist that women are supposed to just throw themselves at them.
It’s also people’s interest & what & who they’re attracted to.
@@steviedub9370 💯
So as a black male who wants to be an ally, what can we do to help the cause ?
Acknowledge the bad and realize we're in this together bro! We gotta come together as a team to tackle this problem. We gotta raise our standards and not deal with bullshit and have the power to walk away
Bad guys have it much better. Onve go black dont go back. But there is nothing for asian guy
@@aloisiussi4635Doesn’t mean that black dudes have it easy either. We have our own struggles and insecurities too.
@@aloisiussi4635 I disagree. Unless you are a stereotypical athlete/rapper type with aggressive or violent tendencies you're completely invisible to women as a black guy. Most women who go for us black guys have thug fetish, so if you fail to be "hard" or show too much emotion or whatever then you're off the radar. I find it incredibly annoying. Personally, the types of women who are into thugs are a complete turn-off to me anyway. Usually the most materialistic women with low IQ. Granted, I think every race of women has a subsection that likes "dangerous" men but those aren't the women geeky black men can get. In my case, it also doesn't help that my facial features look very ethnically ambiguous for a black guy (I look somewhat Indian, bordering on European in some aspects). I don't have huge lips or a super wide nose, so I'm not on women's radar when they are looking to fulfill their idealized muscular black athlete/rapper fetish.
@@KahinAhmed72 Black men are the most physically dominant and masculine race on earth, and so do in fact have it easier in dating white vvomen if they are clean cut. IMO.
I’m Asian I don’t even care anymore lol.. ever since the MGTOW movement started.. I jumped on that bandwagon 😆
As a sub5 Asian subhuman. I feel you at the highest degree
this guy white af.
only thing to do even as a Sub8 is to submit to BWC
Thank you pointing out these important issue.
Thanks for watching! Appreciate the kind comment
asian men can have success for sure, it starts with going to gym and developing a physique and then becoming confident , i rarely see asians at my gym who are having trouble with women.
my asian friends who had trouble were all in academia and business, smart but didn't figure out any game.
Working out is super important!
Thanks for speaking on this, discrimination towards asian men isn’t highlighted enough. Asian women don’t go through the same problems we do and even actively participate in the stigmas that hurt us. Im an Asian man in the Midwest and it’s tough.
Keep your chin up!
Life's tough
So what? :D
@@OzPozzy278 race hustler
As a white man that lives in a large Asian community I wonder where do Asian kids draw inspiration from in the media? Like black kids have so many entertainers and are so well represented in the media & so are whites people. Music, acting arts etc. & I never see any Asians.
That's a great point man. That's something I've struggled with my entire life.. Things are slowly changing, but when you don't see anyone that looks like you. It's not the most motivating feeling.
@@bedroomtalks Yeah.. everyone should just stick to their own race by your logic so no one can empathize with other races in your narrow limited world....
This was why I was so obsessed with Zuko from Avatar. He was a Chinese male that was dignified
Such a silly thing to say. We're all human 🤣
Your inspiration can be a damn cartoon character
Asian female here chiming in. I grew up around a lot of Asian Americans, and I have a lot of Asian American guy friends. I think part of the problem is some Asian men limit their options due to parental expectations and do not know how to set boundaries with their parents. Some Asian men only pursue Asian women because they think those women are the only acceptable options in their parents' eyes, and in the process, they overlook many amazing White, Latina, and Black women who would have otherwise been a great fit for them. I think Asian parents often try to restrict who their children date, and it's common in Asian households for Asian parents to tell their children "Never date a black/Hispanic girl or boy." White significant others are sometimes more acceptable, but I definitely knew some families who gave their sons a hard time for dating a White woman. One of my male cousins dated a Latina girl in college and broke up with her due to parental pressures. He ended up breaking up with all his non-Asian girlfriends because his parents always decided she wasn't good enough. Now, he is almost 40, and his parents are confused why he is still single.
I agree thanks for sharing :)
@@bedroomtalks I appreciate the fact you didn't get mad when reading my comment. As an Asian female, I empathize with a lot of issues Asian men face, but sometimes find it hard to be honest with some Asian men because I feel some Asian men get extremely angry and defensive when Asian women offer any criticism of Asian American culture (but accept the same comments if Asian men make those same observations). I think it causes a big rift in the Asian American community when in fact, we have the potential to create a more open and honest dialogue about issues in our community and come to a more shared understanding when trying to support each other.
@@ilikecheese2239 great viewpoints!
Also add one observation, my Asian male friends who were raised by their dad with masculine characters, they usually have no issues dating
@@mengtimmy9947 that's an excellent observation. Many of the Asian men I've come across who have struggled with dating tend to have overbearing mothers and passive/enabling fathers. My cousin (the guy who dated and broke up with his Latina ex) had a very overbearing mother who tried to control everything in his life, and the father was very passive, and more or less agreed with whatever the mom wanted.
@@ilikecheese2239 overbearing mum and submissive dad create a false image to their son. The son expects that being a man is getting dominated by their spouse
That turns even worse in an immigrant parent, when the submissive dad became social reject, it has double the negative down to the son
A nerdy Asian friend of mine with glasses dated several attractive girls and chose a beautiful Asian girl as a long term partner. My friend is super proud of his dad.
Keep spread your insights to Asian community, even though lots of them are damaged beyond repair, but we will break the propoganda machine if we only get a small percentage of Asians truly successful.
Good luck my following sister!
You talk about lack of media representation but do you think part of the other issue is Asian Parenting style that teaches Asian kids not to have confidence or speak up? I know i myself had dealt with this issue and some Asian parents (not all) can be very demanding.
Yes 100%. The culture is definitely a big part. Learn to walk on your own and be your own man
In my house hold I was never able to express myself or speak up lol this cause me to have no social skills and no self identity the identity my parents laid out for me didn't work like just focus on school go to college and they are mad and I'm like bro this is your life plan you planned out for me and it ruined most of my life lol
@@quincy189 yeah damn, such a shame that happened. I hope you’re doing well at this point! Parental dynamics are a complex thing to talk a out sometimes
@@all-star6025 yea and culture has big influence too like people raised in western mindset can't understand and that my parents also raised me to depend on them they didn't raise me to be independent and when I needed to depend on them they failed me too. And I'm just thinking its a tactical trick to raise me to depend on them too cause this gives them full control over what I do like as in I would have to ask for approval and they can deny funds or resources if they don't agree.
@@quincy189 oh man, i can relate to this on all levels!I hope you’re keeping strong and can figure out your situation!
Great video and I agree with everything you said! I’ve experienced that same racist comments from women “Oh sorry, I’m not attracted to Asian guys.” I’m 6’0”, muscular build, and was a model in college so the issue with me isn’t looks or physique but just merely my race that is the issue with these women.
Dude I feel you brother! Don't let it hold you down. Fuck the haters
Ron they weren’t for you anyways. Be glad they showed their cards right away they aren’t compatible to you. There IS women of other races that will date you. Weed out the ones that don’t so don’t take it personal. I learned to not take that personal and it as result it didn’t shoot my confidence down.
Don't let the ignorance get to you. Anyone who doesn't give another person a chance based on something that none of us have control over (race) does not need to be in your space any way. Sending positive vibes your way and to anyone else going through what you did/do.
It's all well that you are that but are you like a beta type of type who does not show masculine personality traits, if so then that is your problem.
@@kwolf2145 nothing in my post indicated any Beta type personality. The issue isn’t Alpha or Beta or these women would say so. They simply said they aren’t interested in dating Asian men so it’s simply my race.
Bless you brother, I'm crying for you, I love Asian men, I'm a Latina and Native American too, beign part Asian I know how hateful Americans are to us the Other, I loved Crazy Rich Asians, I was born with beautiful slanted eyes and I got What are you? What the h. ? I'm not an alien from a wierd planet, Bruce Lee rovked, he was totally bad ass, in the 50's he broke barriers, family we are all created to love and be loved, Our Creator made all of us, Asian African American Indian Jewish Muslim American and all other beautiful people from other countries, we must find our worth and value in Who made us, then we can look for our partner spouse and build our own family, out of our pain from rejection we can heal and have great compassion for others and be the light this world needs, having healed from so much hate and rejection I now can bring health and healing to others still suffering, I'm not perfect just real and honest, in this plastic fake society people need real genuine people and I chose to be a light in a very dark world. Much love to you my friend and to all my gorgeous fine Asian brothers !!!
MUCH LOVE back to you! THANK YOU
Thank you for doing this for all the Asian brothers, subscribed
Yeah, it's sad but he is right. Definitely the media representation. We look out of place in the society because of the western media. No one is telling our story, other than asian media. We need to support more content that's coming out of Asia.
Yes we need to come together for each other!
My man ... I feel u ... Stay strong 💪
Thank you bro :)
Asian men are handsome, intelligent and highly skilled in many aspects of tasks from cooking, building, teaching and making things. In all groups of mankind this group is tops !
Appreciate the kind words :)
You should take a trip to Sao Paulo, Brazil. It'll trip you up when an overwhelming majority of Asian white couples you see in public are Asian Brazilian men and white Brazilian women.
Man that's so cool! Appreciate you sharing this
I'll come to Brazil, any areas in sao Paulo I should go to?
@@zachariahsrivilay8854 I'm assuming you're Asian. I'm not sure I'd recommend Sao Paulo. I consider myself a 6-7 out of 10 looks hapa and i didn't get tinder dates there but then again i didn't boost my profile or optimize it too much. I'd recommend Rio De Janeiro where you're much rarer or any second tier city like Fortaleza or Florianopolis. People will pull their eyes and kind of make fun of you even for me as half Asian but just educate them why that's not nice how they're cariacaturizing us when they do that.
Hey brother thank you so much for this video. I just found your channel and its honestly a gem and thousands, if not millions of asian men can relate.
I am an asian man mid 20s living in a predominantly white city (70%) and over 1 million population in Canada. I noticed that a huge issues hurting us asians is our ethnic names. Im not sure if you have a white name or ethnic name but when I am using my ethnic name on dating apps I can't even get 15-20 matches a week on tinder but when I shorten it to make it look white I get over 100 plus easily. I would consider myself slightly above average looking for an asian dude (square jaw, mens physique look, full hair, dressed well). I used tinder for a while after a 2 year relationship and realized how much I was discriminated on the dating market. I was even being discriminated by asian women which made me somewhat angry. I deleted it after using it for a few months and decided to spend time improving my looks, income and skills.
Back in high school I had a decent group of friends but now that I am graduating university I noticed almost everyone treats me like an acquaintance/token. Even at work(Engineering) people my age don't really open up to me and I consider myself an extremely social person. Do you think that having an east asian name makes us even more invisible? I have a few asian male friends (chinese, korean, viet) who recently changed their name to a white one and I am honestly thinking of doing the same.
Keep it up man this channel will hit 1mil in no time!
Hey man! Thank you so much for the kind words and support! One step at time until 1 mill :). Sad to say but yes having an ethnic name puts you in the foreigner group. My name is Minh and a lot of people are surprised when they hear my voice. I used to go by Max in college and made things significantly easier. But at the end of the day I use my real name with pride and attract individuals who don’t care. You’ll lose in quantity but not quality :)
If you want to talk more send me an email and book a consultation bedroomtalksconsult@gmail.com
if you are getting 20 matches a week, why are you even complaining about being single. 900+ dates a year is beyond enough options.
@@bevs9995 I swipe really fast because I don't feel like spending hours on those apps. I look at maybe the first 2 pic, don't read bio then decide either right or left so a lot of the times even though I matched its not really somebody I would considering going out with. The point of my comment is that east asian men are being priced out of the market and even by their own race of women and thats a real problem. I've had quite a few guy friends who are tired of this and decided to anglicise their names to an english one in the early to mid twenties and saw a dramatic increase in quality of life. South asians have less of a problem because south asian women tend to date within their race so its mostly east asian being discriminated against in this scenario.
And I don't go anywhere near 900 dates a year haha maybe 50-70 a year when I was single. I live in a 1million plus city so I would say 80% of those dates never turn into a second date and a lot of the times its just girls trying to get a free dinner or drinks.
I deleted dating apps for almost a year now and I decided to work on myself such as improving my income, fitness and career goals as I am still in my mid 20s and feel like I have time to improve myself.
@@shawnfriedman537 you just said you get 100 matches a week with a whitified name, though your ethnicity listed and pictures are still asian. and 15+ matched with ethnic name
900 - 4,800 matches a year is plenty.
and 60 (50-70) dates a year is still plenty. Thats more than 1 a week.
If you are not happy with atleast 1/3rd of those options, you probably deserve to be single. tbh.
I used to try very hard to fit in to the white society as my family believed that we as immigrants should learn to be white in order to not be excluded from opportunities. However, after years of being treated like shit no matter what I do, I came to realization that as long as I have the face of an enemy, I will never be accepted by everyone. I had faced discrimination both at school, dating/friendship in the US and now at work in the so-called multicultural society here in Canada, I just don't give a shit any more about pleasing others. I started my journey back in 2019 working on my fitness and mental health, and man I can start seeing the changes earlier this year. Not saying it is easy but I think it is a necessary process for every guys, and not just Asians, to go through. To every Asian guys that are struggling, I urge you to start making small changes, and consistence is key. And most importantly, fuck what other people say. Just my 2 cents
I love the encouragement to our fellow brothers! Just listen to yourself and focus on the ones that love you
Fellow Asian guy here. Yeah we the fricken best. Representation is not really prevalent in the west and it sucks. But we gotta take pride in. The little things. It’s in my opinion is getting better but it’s not a walk in he park like for other guys (ex white, Hispanic , black) I’m in the military and I went to Japan. I’ve learned the culture and continue to be active in learning about my culture. Im in my own world when I listen to J-POP and K-pop. I choose my own style and stick with it. A week ago I had been hit on by a waitress at a Mexican restaurant. Honestly get off the apps. Go to like a high end restaurant by yourself and act like you the shï* . Go see the world and travel. Go learn a new language. Get involved with a book club, church, or language exchange.
Much love brother! keep it up
Fellow Black guy here. So black men's experience in the west and globally have been "a walk in the park"? 🤣🤣🤣.. your asian male insecurities have you delusional.
This is one of the most honest presentations about Asian males. Thank you for being brave 🙏
It's good to hear that the Asian men stick together. Also, I find certain groups Asian men attractive and was on various daring apps for 1+ yrs. I actually displayed I was only interested in Asian men. Later found out, they don't find me attractive. Oh well. At least I learnt my SMV.
Hey. You never know. Shitty people exist everywhere. Sorry to hear that. I bet he's around the corner! Keep putting your head up sister!
Lived in Colorado since I was 6, growing up there were maybe 1 or 2 Asian kids at my school. Not very diverse at all. Now I’m 40, and I’ve always been attracted to Asian men. I’ve wanted to explore dating one but there’s none around. Or if by some miracle I meet one, he’s married or taken or doesn’t act like he’s interested (which is totally fine). I still have hope I’ll meet an Asian man one day but that hope is dwindling each year. I’ve dated other races but I have a special place in my heart for Asian men and it’s not a fetish, I’m not into anime or k pop, I just like the culture, the facial features I find attractive, things like that. I’m a white woman and Asian men aren’t invisible to me. I actively look at them in my daily life since they’re rare where I live. And if a woman I’m chatting with says they’re not into Asian men or don’t find them attractive, I have a folder of pictures I’ve saved on my phone for this purpose to show them Kim Ji Hoon as the character Denver in Money Heist Korea, or Dori Sakurada as Niragi in Alice in Borderland, or Brian Tee, etc and they shut right up and change their minds haha. I’ve done this about 6 times now and it’s so fun each time to see their faces change with lust for the “Asian male hotness factor” ahem, cough cough 😆
I’m so glad you shared your experiences. I definitely empathize with you with the scarcity of Asian men. Keep your chin up :)
Thanks for this. Definitely needed this 👍
Thanks so much for the support!
You guys had BRUCE LEE,,,,one of the biggest STUDS of ALL TIME….💪
He's been dead for a long, long, long time, dude.
Honey, let me tell you I’m an Indian woman and we love Asian man because they are bad ass. They are handsome and they are hard-working and they have morals and respect. I love them very much.❤
Appreciate you :)
"Have you seen Euphoria? Where are the Asians?!?!?" lol I laugh out loud so hard.
FACTS !!🤣
@@bedroomtalks Hey just want to let you know that I sent you a message and a follow on IG.
I am Asian and lonely. I am ugly keep getting rejected - such a loser !!!
Get a girlfriend in Asia. See how that goes before getting any more serious. Lots of girls there looking for a well off friend in the USA.
Don't beat yourself up.
Know your self worth ... always improve yourself look better go to the gym... take care of yourself know your goals..act on them, have confidence become a high value asian man don't simp amd have a stoic mentality. When you have that people treat you differently
Asian male here - I make between 120k-135k on any given year. I agree whole heartedly my brother
Above average looking person
I'm 5% body fat year round
I exercise daily
I'm in a town where I stick out like a sore thumb
No love.
You are 1000% absolutely correct, we need to assert ourselves and stop trying to be "humble" all the time and say something when it is needed
I am the only top percentile in my company that is only Asian. It appears all white males/females have dominated managerial roles
It is possible to overcome but man the mountain is very high to climb
Be smart, be wise, work your f*cking ass off both in your career, physical fitness, and social game
Not much ROI but it could be far worse if you're not attacking your career, physical fitness, and social game
After much time of thinking, maybe it is best to relocate to even have a standing chance
I've had many Asian brothers from different countries/continents outside the USA who don't struggle as Asian Americans do: Australia, Europe, South America, Canada
And agreed, dating APPS for Asian Men is to STAY AWAY from. It only wastes your time, money, and your chances of getting a 5 out of 10 is second to none. It is like we're living a bizzaro world
Relocate!
Perfectly stated brother. Stay strong and that's awesome to see another Asian Male killing it. We are the role models for the next generation!
i live in toronto canada let me tell you the so called idea of ethnic men suffering throughout the entire west is somewhat subverted here, i see all races asian, indian, african, middle east, all considered ethnic but not have trouble in dating.
you have to really examine the culture around you and see if it's cxckblocking you.
what is required regardless of race though is self-development, otherwise you will not attract any women, for me to get some good success i had to go to gym and now i am social skills maxxing.
good luck to asian brothers.
No offence, seriously are you 5 percent body fat, I am interested, because only bodybuilders on stage and starved people are in that range.
I agree with most of what you said, but be careful with the hard-working trap, don't do it for women, do it for yourself.
Lots of introvert Asian men make double than you still dateless, they basically exhaust their dating game and simping
5%? definitely not
what do you do for living??
I’ve never seen a group of Asian men stand up for other marginalized groups in an organized way…
Because they don't too
Yes Brother, speak up for us!!! Much Power to all my asian Brothers!!!
@I.am.me "Yes Brother, speak up for..." If you live in a western country, you've just exemplified a reason why you and your mates are "invisible" as described by the speaker. You're raising the drawbridge then trying to assert your superiority ! How to win friends and influence people ! Be a bloke, not an Asian bloke.
I’m sorry to hear this. I’m a Hispanic female that, until recently, believed that Asian men preferred Asian women. I’ve dated mostly Hispanic and White men, not so much because of a strong preference, that’s just that’s who approaches me.
Thank you for sharing :)
Hard to believe that. Sorry, maybe it is ONLY you. Most Latinas are not interested.
Thank you for saying this. I think we have been afraid to voice our discontent. That people are gonna call us racist or pussies or that you don't get to talk about this etc. The truth is, us not speaking up about this is being cowards. There is ZERO way any other group would take this, perhaps other than black women.
We need to stop taking the shit and saying that its normal When we are in a place where there are fifty white guys with asian girls and not the other way round, we should be angry. Perhaps we should very calmly without calling names, ask...wtf is happening here, maybe ask some people what they think shouldbe done.
Appreciate the support brother
I am Asian. But I have to acknowledge that there is no example of Asian Americans who showcase masculinity, bravado, rebellion… I think this has to do with how immigrant parents treat kids. They are molded into conformists, worker bees, rule-following overachievers. These are not the kind of people American society find sexy. I think in many ways we might deserve some of these stereotypes, and we have to break them ourselves by refusing to be the nice, shy guys. Fight back, be an a-hole sometimes, stop listening to parents and go after our passion, use your fists when diplomacy doesn’t work, insist on getting exactly what we want… then people will start realizing most Asians they see are different from what’s in the movies and start respecting us.
Respect, Bro.
Truly.✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻
On the bright side, Asian men are getting more representation but the progress has been going slow, and we’re not on that same level of representation as any other race. I also want to encourage other Asian males to stand up against the system/media that has devalue, undermine, and emasculate us to the extent that no one even gives a shit about us, brushing us aside, and oftentimes gaslight us. If we wanted things to change quickly the best option is we need to uplift each other, unite, address problems, and find other people who would side with us. But seeing how people would turned a blind eye on our struggles it’s going to be difficult for our voices to be heard, let alone by mainstream media. Worst part is, we’re seen as a threat.
Well said brother!
As a guy of south asian descent, I feel your pain brothers. I am close to 39 now and still find the game massively difficult, despite working out, taking on leadership roles, living abroad, and doing cool hobbies like rap music.
Strangely when I lived in Manila and Japan for 2 years, I hooked up a good amount. It showed me its literally just down to how asians are perceived in the USA.
The funny thing is, its not just white women. In the USA I struggle even with latinas, black girls, and so on. Even 50% of Asian girls seem to date out.
I worked in Manila & traveled to Cebu every other weekend for 3 months.. I was always the only BM around; every now & then a BM would show up..chinese & japanese & of course filipino women were super sweet to this exotic dark meat..AW are very sweet.. But damn I really miss the overt sexiness of BW & WW..So as a BM I’ve been in your shoes..
So arrogant
The key thing to note here is that we’re still just a minority. Only about 7% of the entire population in the U.S are Asians, the numbers are completely stacked against us. When people think of Asians, they still picture a nerdy kid with glasses who barely speaks English, with a heavy accent, and is only good at math.
Honestly it’s pretty amazing how much we as a race have accomplished despite making up such a small portion of the country and I can only see it getting better over time.
Absolutely! We are a hard working group of individuals. It will get better over time!
Why are Asian men invisible? As a fellow Asian man, my question is- what are you doing to make yourself noticeable and desirable? I was an scrawny, bookish, glasses and braces wearing guy who one day decided he was sick of things and started working on the things that would make myself desirable. That means actively updating my looks, getting physically fit, going out and working on my social skills, travel and learn about the world and you know what? I’m now popular and attract others everywhere I go. I can do it- you can too.
I agree! Asian men have to start taking responsibility for the our lives and outcomes
Looks like you didn't start that far behind. 1st and 2nd generation immigrants come here with good health and a positive mindset so it's not that tough to make those minor changes.
so true … I too only started seeing Asian men in that light ,when I started watching Korean tv series .
Interesting thank you for watching :)
100% agree with all the issues brought up. I live in Perth Australia, and this place is stuck in the 70s.
I gym, dance, DJ , and have a 6 figure salary. I am tall (5"11), and decent looking. None of this matters as it doesn't change the fact that I'm an Asian man. This automatically relegates me to bottom of the dating pile. It doesn't matter how charming, masculine, or successful you are. Being an Asian male is an automatic -5 handicap.
It's time we have our own black lives matter moment. This has gone on for far too long. We need to make NOISE and to FIGHT for change!
*As a South Asian, I only go abroad to save me time*
As someone growing up in the late 90s-mid 2000s, one of the few places in media with any Asian representation at all was in rock music. My friends at the time were mostly nerds, goths, skaters, or a combination of those. I only knew one non Asian girl who had a thing for Asian guys and loved Asian rock musicians like Jerome Fontamillas from Switchfoot, Mike Shinoda and Joe Hahn from Linkin Park and Rich Okamoto from Houston Calls. Oddly enough, most Asian-Americans I knew at the time preferred rap, R&B or pop music which had essentially no Asian representation at all at the time.
I guess it's kind of like how most Asian guys prefer basketball and football which have almost no Asian representation at all while ice hockey and baseball have a far larger (albeit still small overall) amount of Asian representation but almost no Asian fans.
Where did you live in the 90/'00? I grew up in similar era...and I only dated caucasians/latina. No east Asian gf at all for me. They had no interest at me at all, perhaps I was a skater/punk/artist type😊
@@rualablhor: I lived in a small town north of NYC. Most Asian skater/punk types I knew were guys, most Asian girls were preppy types who listened to Rap, R&B or Pop or they were orchestra nerds.
Thanks for sharing your story my man. This life is strange
BM love golf, many love hockey, stock car racing, mens tennis , winter sports and there are few black faces in these sports.. Black folks like good white music with rhythm.. most rap have good rhythm and a beat you can follow; and black americans set standards in music all over the world; we have major problems getting good roles in white dominated media too..But we are working to change all that white shit..That’s what CRT is teaching american history..Now BM don’t let our women talk shit about BM without a hard foot up their ass in response back..AM gotta bring out the foot too..
I'm not going to lie, sometimes when I express myself like this even thr asian men would say something to me like "stop complaining" and I honestly stopped even trying to date girls online. I am going to try this in person but tbh thats even hard 😒
You have to admit, it's a really pathetic thing to complain about. And it's not like you're going to get any sympathy from society so it's better to just suffer in silence. It honestly sort of fits into more traditional asian masculinity. Read into Asian philosophy like Musashi or Confucius and you'll see how often they advocate a more detached and aloof lifestyle.
Don't give up man!
@@bedroomtalks I'm trying bro.... it's kind of like asian guys have a different standard to society when it comes to dating.
@@zachariahs.1112 Definitely, but whats the alternative. You have to keep trying
The thing is that even you are Asian, if you are funny, charismatic, strong, confident and well dress, you get attentions everywhere. Vast majority of Asian American I have seen are none of them. It doesn't matter what race you are, if you are poorly dressed, no experience of the world, physically weak, then you are invisible anywhere.
Asian man here. This shit is real. You are beautiful and articulate.
Thanks for making videos. Please continuing making more. I learnt English from you. I love your accent. Can you make some videos for teaching English or sharing some tips for ESL? Thanks.
I definitely will try to address this! Thanks for watching brother!
That's why Chinese parents that come to America say to their son " You're going to become a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer!"
As an Asian guy I still can't understand---and confusingly so---why I get any attention at all. There was time I was so insecure about my looks (I thought I was ugly) until this gorgeous woman at work was attracted to me. I started projecting self-confidence in public and I started getting second-glances by women. White women too. Having this suddenly happening feels like both a curse and a blessing. It really messes with your mind.
You are active in your awareness vs being passive :)
We need more asian "Malcom X" like you! Stop being passive, and F-up the system! Thank you!
THANK YOU BRO. Appreciate the support my guy
No shade but you reaching with this “X” comment lol
I support you and I'm an Asian man. Please keep making videos. You are awesome. Tones of bull out there.
brother, let’s walk our own way. Don’t let them get to you, we, ASIAN MAN have been living on this world for thousands of years. We will thrive, we will grown and we are not going to be defeated by what’s happening right now! Trust ourselves. We can’t beg for respect. We will claim the respect! If the world really hate us, we will fight to the end, not for getting a women, not for being a model minority. We fight for ourselves, fight for our own reality.
Love this man
Dude.. imagine white men moving to China and saying this crap? Obviously you're allowed massive in group preference aren't you and yet you think it's appropriate to express that huh?
You know that saying that say we like the ones who don't like us and the ones who like us we don't like them, saying that to say this maybe you both like each other but are shy and no one know how to make the 1st move, If the individual is open to different culture then it will be easier for them to date, People should date people that they like to make them happy and not the people that society like for them.
Well Asian women's dreams come true every day because their Gods (white men) do like them and habitually give them hapa babies.
Hope to be taller than average. I got lucky at 6’1” and 185. I’ve maintained this height and weight since high school. Don’t drive a Honda. Drive a truck or SUV. Make sure you have a good salary. Don’t be out competing with the white guy. Learn to fight and fight dirty. Flirt with the white girls constantly and flirt with the Latinas. They love Asian men that are tall. Trust me on that one. I ended up marrying a Puerto Rican. Confidence.
That’s what I think too , driving a Ute or SUV would make me look more masculine than a hatchback…could you elaborate on the “don’t be out competing with the white guy” bit ? Given that most of the population is white in Australia , it’s almost unavoidable. Btw I’m 5’11 , is it a bit too short when it comes to dating white/latino women ?
@@Sleepycroc1204 make yourself stand out from the other Asian guys. Glasses? Get contacts. I myself don’t need glasses so I got lucky there. Hair style? Depends on your facial features and head shape. If you can do a high and tight slick back. Don’t do the typical Asian hair cuts. Clean shaven and hygiene should be kept up. Don’t be afraid to get dirty. Make sure you have manly skills such as being able to change a flat tire. Cook, women love men that can cook and be self sufficient. Dress like you are a rugged man but don’t wear cheap clothing. Women spot that stuff from a mile away. Keep the clothing classic. Keep the jewelry to a minimum if any. Keep a picture of your cat or dog or niece or nephew on your phone. When you are out and about, be pleasant. Say hello and how are you doing today. Ask the cashier or the the coffee server or waitress how their day is going. Make conversation. Always be a gentleman. And 5’11 is an above average height.
Dating apps only go by perfect celebrity looks alone. What do you expect. I am many generations American Caucasian. I met an Asian who moved here when they were 35. We meet at a flea market in NYC and went for coffee and have never stopped being with each other for 23 years. I have booked a cruise for when we hit 25. This will sound racist but when I was growing up, Asians only seemed interested in dating other Asians exclusively. It was rare to see the two races dating even in the NYC liberal suburbs, so I assumed incorrectly, and I never bothered even if they were cute. As people meet more Asians in daily life the stereotypes drop away. Be powerful! Your hot!
Great video. Continue to speak your truth.
Thank you so much!
i am indian , never got swipe right dating websites, if its one turned out to be scam , even in real life as well . When u were seen near them they act weird , stare at you or accuse you.
There are a lot of women out there, non White and non Asian
Like me, that would love to meet you, meeting an Asian male is so difficult
Would you say that a lot of Asian males restrict their dating pool to White or Asian women?
I have always found Asian men Attractive, no stereotypes, just simple attraction,
Quite frankly look outside your usual types
Appreciate it! Happy holidays!
Actually Chinese men are marrying african ladies in Africa and setting up family there. The kids will be good in math and also sports
Love your channel man. Screw the hate and ignorance. We can do this. 👍
You can’t do it if you don’t call out your disrespectful & disloyal AW .. AW are AMs worst enemy..
Hey Guys, don't support Hollywood movies with poor Asian stereotypes. Just don't watch them at all, at least they will get less revenue and maybe a small message over time.
Scandal was one of best and highest rated shows with a BW as lead actor.. When its a well written a black or non white person is a win..
If you’re an Asian dude in “the West”, get beefy.
Hit the gym and become a dominant stud. The women will follow.
On a few occasions, when visiting with white women and even Asian women they've shared with me that they hesitate to date both Native American men and Asian men because they're uneasy about dealing with his family members, but they didn't elaborate why that bothers them. I have lots of Native American relatives and my experience with them and with many Asians I know is there's excessive pigeon-holing of each other and everybody else, and my intuition tells me that women really dislike that kind of thing. Just my take.
The reality is that these women are afraid of harassment from their Asian mother in law. It's projection. Interesting you mention Natives. Natives and Asians are closely related even culturally.
The gaslighting in the workforce is SHOCKING. My complaints get ignored, but whenver a more "charismatic" white or black employee brings up the EXACT SAME complaint, they get IMMEDIATE attention. And then I bring up that issue and I get yelled at for "being too negative"
I successfully used dating apps to meet my wife in 2007 and we have been married for 15 years. Meeting the right gal was just a numbers game to meet someone attractive who shared similar values. It is important to know yourself and striving to be the kind of person who you can respect and admire while seeking a partner. Know what you have to offer and know what you need from your partner. Both of you have to come together as a team and be committed to one another unselfishly.
I love this!!!!! Preaching the truth !
Thank you :)
This issue is not a Western issue. It runs very deep. I'm a white guy living in Asia, all across Asia this is prevalent. I won't go into the details, but I don't think it can be fixed. My motto is, life isn't supposed to be fair so make the most of it
He’s sees the alpha Chads succeeding in a white country and it pisses him off. Time for him to write a manifesto, sip vanilla lattes and watch sunsets alone.
Hey man, so true and on point. Im with you on everything you said. Keep up!!
Thanks my man :)
Asian men are by far the most underrated segment of the population in the US. This is unfair and completely baseless anti Asian prejudice. This unconscious bias stems from all the Asian discrimination since Angel Island, etc. Our society is so racist. Asian men are no better and no worse than men of any other ethnicity, but they for sure deserve so much more representation, diversity of expression, acknowledgment of their individuality. I stand up for Asian men, honestly and authentically, and without typecasting or fetishizing them. Asian men are people! Equal to, if not better than most!
Hey Olivia! Thanks for sharing :)
I empathize and relate. I’m white and invisible as well. We all need to start supporting and building each other up, no matter our race.
Appreciate the support my man! I agree
Well at least HE isn't shooting up schools because of a lack of desirability.
Meanwhile YOU control the media and STILL are insecure 🤣, and believe innocent people deserve to be deleted because of your insecurities.
Why would we support you? God made you the easy race. Figure it out yourself.
@JohnFitzgerald2008 yeah, but they age faster
It’s not just about dating, it also goes into the work place as well. Esp in the military and law enforcement. Because those jobs are more masculine jobs, other white people and Hispanics just won’t respect you at a higher level. I know this from experience.
Great point!
Check Gorkha Regiment of India and Nepal. Known for there bravery.
As a black woman the dating market is really sucky for us as well. The overwhelming stereotypes about us, I feel severely hinder us especially in online dating in my experience. I’m one of the few black women who is open to dating anyone of any race and it was very hurtful to have (mostly white and Hispanic men) purely sexualizing me. I’ve literally had white men tell me they wanted to have sex with me just so they could experience what it’s like being with a black woman before they die. As if our vjs are different from other women lol. Told a guy that before. I say all this to say I think black women can relate to a lot of what Asian men go through. I wouldn’t say we are invisible per se due to the hyper sexuality the media portrays. But the objectification and dehumanization is very real. Thanks for sharing your story.
I actually think black and dark skinned women actually catch my eye more, but most people think I'm a fetishist and insane for finding black women more attractive. Sometimes I feel like this world is created by the devil where the opposites are true from reality. I went out with Miss New York for a year, she was Guyanese black, dark skinned. My "friends" made fun of us like we were so pathetic for being together. She was a literal pageant winner. World is truly insane I feel.
I must admit this is very true. Asians in general definitely work harder than the rest of the world. I worked for some Asians at a Chinese food restaurant for three years. They did not take days off they worked seven days a week. Asians are just built differently lol
But on another note I wonder is this the reason why places like Bangkok have so many transgender men? I wonder is it because they are seen as less attractive or less manly so they just take on the mindset of if you can’t beat them join them. Later on you see them they’re no longer men. They have transitioned..
Asians grind!
@@bedroomtalks I agree!
To be honest guys personally I think in many respects Asia is better overall anyway. I would legit rather date and start a family there than in the West. I'm not sure why Asian men should go out of their way to act more "macho" or whatever to appeal to Western views of masculinity. In my view, Asian stoicism and intelligence is infinitely cooler than goofy-looking gym bros. I am more or less a mixed black/amerindian guy saying this. I am an artist and I speak Japanese. If you've ever been to Tokyo, Taipei, or Seoul you'll know exactly what I am talking about... The Western world is the past. Asia is the future.
Not if you are good looking. Good looking people are their own category.
Asians dudes have to improve their physical attractiveness. Look at the Kpop guys.
Basically the guide is to get lean , ripped, develop a sharp jawline, wear some make up to cover skin blemish and get a good haircut. It takes time and money but their is no other way. No one knows your personality .
Black woman here: we find Asian men attractive (YOU are handsome) We just didn’t think AM date out or even looked our way. I tend to have way better connections with AM.
Black women have the curves the flat asian women don't have
Speak for yourself and not the collective. The stats show who we like and it's not AM.
@@grammynomineesbts1086 if it’s not you keep scrolling, simple. I know plenty of BW who DO.
Just desperate as hell💀
@@grammynomineesbts1086 😂 like I need to justify myself to you. Like I said if doesn’t resonate with you, keep it pushing.
I'm a bloke living in a western country so limited in my ability to contribute. Over the years, I have had discussions with women when this topic comes up. The outstanding criticism is that they are too money and career focussed so come across as self obsessed, introverted, with limited social skills and lacking empathy. That might also be the reason why there is an apparent ceiling. From a very limited sample, the Asian blokes who do better are those who grew up outside the Asian bubble ie, were the only Asian in a social group such as a class at school or a business in which he works. Australia's foreign Minister, Penny Wong's father was Asian.
Regarding your preamble there about "I can't speak for other countries (about racism toward Asian men)"
Almost guaranteed that other countries are worse with racism, because they don't really talk about it or it doesn't get called out by any source of media.
I'm not one of them who disagrees! Asian brothers unite!!! 25 M virgin sometimes I feel like giving up
Don't give up man. Chin up dude
Travel to Asia!
I want to preface by saying anyone who is in Amxf relationship should link up with other amxf couples and just congregate in public places especially in metropolitan areas that have alot of wmaf couples such as the bayarea NYC. There are much more out there than social media or western society leads us to believe. These ppl need to be exposed to this so they can see that asian men are just as desirable as any other race. Of course there is a high possibility it could trigger these racist white black Latino men etc and or even trigger those same asian women dating outside their race. This needs to be seen by the general public bc media has extreme bias against asian men and will not change their ways not anytime soon at least to cast asian men in a positive light(alpha or sexual romantic lead).
Rant:
Honestly asian men have done this to themselves. We have been beyond patient to put up with their bullshit and blatant disrespect by society(mainly shaped by media) which only perpetuates the negative perceived stereotypes of asian men being effeminate weak passive timid etc..yes many of us are byproducts of our own parents personalities and the asian culture. We are raised to be polite respectful courteous towards others. This concept seems to be completely foreign to westerners as they mistake this as being beta or weak. Asian men do not need to resort to violence nor do we need to abandon our own culture and embrace western culture of being loud and brash. Instead asian men across the board need to get themselves as physically strong as possible. Not necessarily get as big as possible(size) but just overall physically fit and strong. Unlike height this is something we have complete control over. Being physically fit and strong is the baseline for any masculine man. One. obvious health benefits. Two. tremendous boost in your self esteem confidence three. you project a totally different image of yourself to others four. women are innately attracted to strong men just as men are attracted to beautiful women. Women want to feel the man they are with can protect them. What men will notice is the stronger you have more testosterone which makes you more of a go getter in life and this new found confidence translates over into datinglife daily interactions w/ coworkers etc..
Second i highly recommend asian men to put themsleves out there to socialize with as many ppl. Go to bars clubs gyms college campus and try to engage in conversation with men women alike(after they have started step one-get strong and fit). You may get rejected outright initially or they may lose interest quickly mid conversation. And don't let it discourage you keep putting yourself out there and you will realize you become more comfortable in that type of setting which will show your improvement in social skills. I emphasize social skills for Asian men just as much as getting physically strong. On average asian men are extremely socially inept and awkward. They have quite difficultly expressing themselves even to theur ownfamily let alone strangers. Social skills is absolutely crucial for men in life from professional setting to dating/relationships with ppl. Its almost a prerequisite to finding a high quality mate. Just like any skill the more you practice the better you will get at it. Likewise if not practiced it will diminish overtime. Humans are social creatures and there is a social hierarchy in society. Asian men if I'm being brutally honest are in the bottom of totem pole. When you are at the bottom of anything ppl by default do not respect you. This much is true for the dynamic between male and female relationships as well. Hence why women are attracted to men with social status and why asian women have been leaving their own men in droves to find a white guy bc they are at the top of the social ladder in our anglocentric society.
Possessing these two qualities will drastically change the perception of an individual. However it is not enough for only few asian men to embark on this self improvement journey to have any sort of an impressionable mark on a societal level. Ppl will continue to categorize Asians as a whole in one box regardless of there are strong alpha male asian men here and there. This needs to be embraced as part of the asian culture it should be "part of the curriculum". It should be adopted by all western born asian men to immigrant asian men. Asian men should still maintain their polite gestures and respectfulness of asian culture while maintaining a masculine frame that is respected by men in western society and highly desirable to western women. Society will not change
overnight as the damaging effects of indoctrination and asian emasculation portrayed in Hollywood western media has been going on for decades. It will require about the same to reverse all of that but it will be a step in the right direction so eventually future generations of young asian boys don't have to face what their parents did. Rant.
We didn't do it to ourselves. Our parents did it to us because you were never allowed to socialize, self expression was punished or mocked and discouraged, the only hierarchy are elders at the top with you at the bottom and you are always at the bottom, and arranged marriages were the norm for thousands of years. Your personality is formed in childhood and even in elementary school you can see who's the leader of a pack. I was in his circle. Getting good people skills will always be a lifelong struggle when you're older, if you didn't have it before, because you missed out on so much in the most important time of your development, that everyone else didn't. And Asian guys have to really work at getting strong just like we have to work at getting fat.