Poet Donald Hall: ‘Old Age Is a Ceremony of Losses’
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- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024
- Before Donald Hall died this June, the 89-year-old American poet laureate let a filmmaker into his home in bucolic New Hampshire. In Paul Szynol’s Quiet Hours, premiering on The Atlantic today, Hall-whose prolific body of work is preoccupied with death, loss, and memory-is observed in his senescence, from the outside. Read more: www.theatlanti...
"Quiet Hours" was directed by Paul Szynol. It is part of The Atlantic Selects, an online showcase of short documentaries from independent creators, curated by The Atlantic.
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Next time you meet a grouchy old person remember how much loss they have suffered and that they probably can’t hear or see well, hold their pee, sleep and may live in constant pain of some degree. Aging sucks.
arlingtonguy54 i dont mind growing old so much, the only thing i dont like about it is my body rebelling against me. Time seems to fly so fast when we are raising our kids ,having our careers, just normal hectic everyday living. Then when we get old, cant work a job anymore, kids are grown and too busy to call or visit very often , loseing your life partner , your parents,it seems to slow down too much. We all go through phases in our lives, some are better than others. I suppose i am an ornery old grouchy woman at times. I just dont like even being around people anymore. I had rather spend time with my dogs, cats, and my silly birds. People need to go visit a nursing home at least once a month, it opens up reality .So far, ive been able to escape being placed in one to wait for my last days. Sorry for the rambling on of an old lady. The dogs,cats, and birds arent much for human communication,unless its treat time. 😂 have a blessed day. 🙏😇
@@cathyt144 please don't apologize. Glad to hear a personal take from someone. Thank you.
@Cathy I think you are right. People need to play John Prine's "Hello In There". That song gives perspective in a beautiful way.
Ron R oh my goodness !i just googled that song and artist. ive nevr heard of him. thank u. for sharing. i am sitting here with tears in my eyes, thinkn bout my daddy. he died wth brain cancer feb 2017.,just3days before his 78th bday. he would hav loved this song, although he prob knew it and most likely played it on his harmonica at some point in his life. i miss both my parents and my late husband. it sucks growin old alone. beautiful song. thanks again
@arlington54 Maybe their grouchy because they're tired of having to deal with young people who think its OK to patronize them.
I am very old. Sometimes I think of Stanley Kubrick's genius in the movie 2001 -- of the astronaut's long, long years alone in a strange room getting older and older, meal after meal, wake after sleep, and then at last on his deathbed the Door appears, and he is reborn embryonic and awake into the wheeling universe. I also think of grapes bloomed and grown in the living summertime, harvested, crushed, fermented, bottled, and set in cellars to cure for long years.
Thank you sincerely.
The sounds were so much of this film - the dripping faucet, the sound of him breathing, the sound of pen on paper.
"my companion was her absence... "
Damn.
That was the one quote I got too
Thank you.....when I was watching this video I didn't know that he had passed away......the last time I saw Donald Hall was when he was my professor of poetry at the University of Michigan in the fall of 1968.......I was a freshman......I loved hearing him read to us...the poetry of so many ......once because he had given me a C- on a paper I had written about a poem of Ted Hughes ......this gave me the reason to go to see him in his office......and now as I too.....am growing into old age....I will be 69 next week......he has given me some poetry for my life.....I hope that he has found Jane again.....
Old age is a progression of realization - mostly what I was too stupid to understand in my 20s, 30s 40s and 50s.
Stndsure 50s...? Fifties...!? Man please don't tell me 🤦♂️ I still don't get it!!!?
Aging is an inevitable and natural catastrophe which is not necessarily a progress intellectually or spiritually
Yep, the realization that the universe really doesn't give a shit about you. Sucks you in, chews you up and spits you out.
Life does seem cruel in this way. By the time we have gained some wisdom and insight the body starts breaking down 😥
The moral of this film for me: Love and appreciate the special people in your life..for one day they won't be here..and all you will be left with are memories. 😞
“My companion is her absence"! How beautifully said about love!
Getting old is worrying less about what I look like and worrying more about what I feel like.
“Life is long, if you know how to use it.”
"“It's not at all that we have too short a time to live, but that we squander a great deal of it"
~ Seneca, On the Shortness of Life
I'm glad that was shared, for it can give one hope that the later years can be rich, despite obvious losses we will experience. One thing Donald Hall had in his favor was the richness of his imagination, he had a lot going on in his head, probably for most of every day. But seeing him struggle with the strengthening exercises with supervision of one of his caregivers, well that was really hard for me to see. I know of a 95 year old man who goes to the gym 6 days a week, still drives of course, volunteers twice a week at a local hospital, and yes, he has a much younger girlfriend. He just says, "I knew at age 65 I wanted to live at least until age 95." So, his idea was to keep active and continue healthy living practices. He had his suffering, as his wife passed away many years ago. Apparently they always had an understanding that whoever continued to live after the other had passed away, that person had the spouse's blessing to search for another to love. It's just very hard when you've had a lot of losses of people you dearly loved, hard to open up emotionally, and let new people into your life. But that quote, " Life is long, if you know how to use it" is very profound and helpful.
Brilliant.
“ Old age is a ceremony of losses”
Yeah, my body isn't as strong as it once was, and my beauty is QUICKLY fading ... BUT ... I am a better human being at age 51 than I was at age 21. I have learned a lot. I am more spiritual. I am more at peace. We lose things during our lifetime and gain things also. ❤
Annette Morrison thank you, so true, I just closed my small company after 24 years, I’m 56, I’m getting my health back, I lost 45 lbs, I want to focus on life rather then money
@@Reitz86: That is so awesome to hear! It is amazing how little money we truly need to survive. I wish you joy and good health in 2019 and beyond. Life is so short.
Nightbird: Perhaps you are in the beginning stages of awakening. I was so ill in Oct 2016 that I asked my dr if this was the beginning of the end for me. I knew something had to change. I had gone from being a pretty loving, happy woman to basically a rageaholic. Soooo ... My husband and I moved to NC so I could be closer to my family. I had been on 8 or 9 meds, 4 of which were controlled meds. I spent a year detoxing from most if my meds, and my spirituality really took off in some scary ways; recently, everything kind of came together, and my awakening has leveled out into a healthy place. There were moments I questioned my own sanity. I think health issues in mid-life often lead us to reconnect with our spiritual side.
Nightbird: I am wishing you good health and much happiness. ❤
Annette Morrison you are in your prime dear. Still young enough to be a "Cougar"...
Excellent thank you...as a man turning sixty two in one months time, this actually made me feel better about our constant friend mortality...
Did you hear about the two Scandinavian Girls killed in Morocco by 20 Islamists who Raped, stabbed and beheaded these two young ladies? Motality is not a friend it just is. Read up on some Schopenhauer, this video sucked IMHO.
Someone once said “about age, you cant do anything about it, everything and everyone ages, But Youth, is a quality and not everyone has that.
this video is a piece of art, it captures the vibe of the subject matter in such a great way
I thought it sucked, well there you go,proves people have different tastes.
So much of our media focuses mainly on the young. And this film shows why that is. Because it's painful, even terrifying to contemplate on the indignities of an aging body and the unknown oblivion of death. Better to focus on the frenetic energy of youth, when life is driven to survive and reproduce then on the stillness of old age, when it seems to be ebbing.
Nelson Thangjam Does the man have a hobby besides poetry?
Perhaps his outlook would be different if squats, deadlifts, and presses became daily maintenance.
Well said
Ridiculous. "Exercise" will not save you. (In the words of Nick Drake, None of you stands so tall. Pink moon is gonna get you all.)
@@winstonsmith502 I'm not sure that redemption is amongst the benefits of exercise. But apparently it does offer a range of physical and mental health benefits that can have a significant impact on quality of life. On that basis it seems a good idea.
This might just be the most beautiful, but saddest, thing I have ever seen.
I hope I am fortunate enough to grow old and live a long life with my partner, but you truly never know what will play out. This piece is a subtle reminder to enjoy the moments we have each day with those around us that we love; our friends, families, colleagues, pets and whomever else you consider a part of your life. In western societies its becoming more common to place our elders in homes or communities to care for them and we increasingly seek wisdom and guidance in other arenas than that of our ancestors experiences with love, progress, loss, and set-backs. My partner and I live in a city far away from both of our families and this is again another reminder on how important it is to listen and be apart of their life journey into their elder years.
That was beautifully produced, well thought out and had amazing camera work. As a poet, the work itself felt like a poem. Thank you for sharing this amazing piece of work. Would love to see more and don’t quit sharing the untold stories of humanity.
This was beautiful and moving, thank you for making it.
It’s still a working barn. The spiders were here before us and if we don’t get our heads right, they’ll be here after us.
I am old now and my family has all but died . i am looking forward to seeing my departed family again. I am alive for my lovely kitty .
Wonderfully done film. It seems that I am drawn to videos like this as instruction manuals on how to encounter increasing old age with grace.
Omg. This should be called quite decades. The sense that time stopped for him when she passed is so poignantly portrayed.
This was beautiful , thank you.
If youtube would send me a survey asking me how i rated this video I would answer, One of the best. that would be the first time I have ever said that.
I agree wholeheartedly. A lot was packed into just a very short glimpse into Donald Hall's last year. His book "String Too Short To Be Saved" is one to savor. He didn't have a life without personal pain, but he surely had the courage to start over again and made a commitment to Jane Kenyon. They were both brilliant and could express raw emotions eloquently. There's was a journey that was not easy, balancing their obvious love for each other, with each having a strong personality. Donald Hall left a fabulous legacy and for those who haven't read that slim volume mentioned above, I think it's wonderfully candid.
Death appears to be the core of many things, Religion, Fear, Art, Depression. I wonder what would happen after the Death of the Death.
HP Lovecraft: "That is not dead which can eternal lie- yet with strange aeons even death may die."
Is that really profound or utterly meaningless? Is it both? Is it neither? Hmmmm.
Thank you very much for this film... it was so wonderful to see Wilmot, and a slice of New London again. And to see Kendel again as well-- she was always the nicest lady. It was a brilliant representation of the area, as well as Mr.Hall. Cheers, Paul. Good work.
RIP to an American treasure. I first saw him in Ken Burns’ Baseball as a 15 year old kid in 1994. His writing was beautiful. Seeing him look like Albus Dumbledore before his death seems fitting because he always had a wisdom that belied age.
*A somber but lovely piece.*
His home is the next town over. He is a legend in our corner of New Hampshire.
Donald......you were my first and only poetry teacher at the university of michigan in 1968....and actually now I am non stop listening to Pink Floyd......I think that you would be happy to know that the student who got a C- on her paper about Ted Hughes......would study Chinese poetry at the Universite de Paris VII Jussieu with Professor Cheng Hsi Hsien....who would recite Tang Dynasty poetry to us in class just as you had recited Theodore Roethke....e. e. cummings and T.S. Eliot....the Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock....and then my lover Juan Claudio from Spain would read Garcia Lorca and Pablo Neruda's poetry to me and my husband Franck who is French would read Baudelaire and play Leo Ferre the great French poet and singer's music to me......
The automatically-generated captions are not very good. You should consider letting people edit them so they can be cleaned up. This seems like a video that especially deserves an accurate transcript for people.
You really don't get it, do you?
".... and it was redemptive that I could be with her every hour of every day" fucking killed me.
The real tragedy in life isn't dying young, it's growing old.
A D yes and you become invisible to
Well said.
The tragedy is being born in the first place.
Yes well said
I'm 22 and I feel like this old man sometimes, is it normal ?
We all share each other's humanity across the lines of age. Those who have empathy across time and space have a gift. Channel it. Express it. You are a poet if, at 22 you can share the feelings of this beautiful man who was once 22, handsome and vigorous. But he had his demons too. Read his stories and poems, and Jane Kenyon's. (A lovely early memoir by Donald Hall about his old family farm is called 'String Too Short To Be Saved.' Their words may help you find your way. Be patient. Find your voice. Choose life.
Neo..Yes, for those who have the ability to think. Good for you.
Maybe that's why I can't create a full connection with people of my age. The millennials are so boring, and I am one...
@@RubensGabriel I can so relate to this, and I am an old boomer.
Yes, absolutely normal, and speaks well of you for being aware of the whole spectrum of your feelings and experience at such a young age. As L advises, try out a number of different paths, perhaps yoga, meditation, something that will support your ongoing development as an alive awake human. Most humans have already chosen an existence of sleep rather than awareness by your age. Follow the other awake people, poets, yogis, meditators of all stripes and that will support your awareness and awakening.
I'm going to read her poems now. Then yours. Thanks for sharing.
That kind of love, is the love we all look for, thanks for this, and the tears
There are so many perspectives to life. There is always scope for growth, notably through meditation.
From that perspective, old age can be a ceremony of ever-deepening wisdom. No loss here...only growth.
Beautifully put -- '' old age is a ceremony of loses ''... missed opportunities, regrets, mistakes, what might have been...
One of my favorite things to do--watch this DH mini-doc...
deeply moving, thank you
Magnificent is too bold of a word for this but I can't think of any others.
understated but beautifully rendered. thank you.
The sadness of this ... sometimes I think it's the saddest thing I've ever seen. Sometimes I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
This is as it is, and always has been. It is not how it always will be.
This is the reality of being old. Nothing poetic about it.
Beautifully haunting. Hauntingly beautiful. Wish I can be this poetic in my old age.
Life....and its inevitable companion, death. All of us, including animals, come alone and go alone to and from this world. As such, the very nature of life and death is lonliness. We try to deny this immutable law of nature by surrounding ourselves with people(family, friends, relatives etc) and even pets, and try to keep ourselves busy with frivolous matters and events. But in the end, everyone of us, King or a hobo on the street, is confronted with this reality. Only by understanding the nature of our existence(that it is brief, painful and lonely), can we appreciate the life given to us more...
Solitude and loneliness; beauty and desolation. The effect on me of Szynol's moving and poignant look at the last years of Hall's life.
That was beautiful
It’s amazing how sharp this is;it gets me really deep every time. I think it really embodies the duality of the human experience ☯️
beautiful
Getting old should be a blessing its just that our current or present society treats it as a curse... Shame really... . Keep active.. learn everyday .. Don.t watch tv.. laugh.. stay away from sugar... Don.t live in a big city... And you might live a good old life....
Really inspiring Atlantic, and Donald!! :)
We are just a small spark on the life line , make that spark mark .
We 'have to' walk that path, what choice is there? Really, that is why society must be kinder.
This was beautiful yet his sense of loss is haunting.
Thirteen beautiful minutes
as a child with elderly grandparents, a fortune cookie told me "old age is a blessing... not a curse." Presumably "old age" "beat the alternatives"? Probably the fortune cookie author had not grown so old... old age seemed meant to help us welcome our own death... this "final loss" bringing the companion of no pains
This was the wrong thing to watch stoned.
This comment definitely made me feel a little better after watching that.
OMG hahahahaha!
It definitely was. It was really beautiful though....
Too funny...
Or the perfect thing to watch.
Love marinates and becomes more flavorful with age.
This is a very beautiful and poignant piece.
The pain...
Sometimes, it's just better to go, before everyone else is gone.......but....you still want to stay.
Becoming sane is also a ceremony of losses.
You rock old wise one tell us youngsters how beautiful life can be 🧐🙂🤠
I don't know much about Donald Hall. But as Roth said/wrote "Old age is a massacre", and this is painful to watch. I don't know if The Atlantic will allow this, but if they do and this is still up tomorrow or the tomorrow after that, your today, have a look at these magnificent stories of someone who's had the chance to live life through them, as some of us would've liked to have done ourselves: www.webofstories.com/play/donald.hall/1
Caspar Langer thank you!!
Old age is a paradigm of decay where the only thing in your life that doesn't crumple and fall back to dust are your memories.
That’s if you don’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.
Sometimes people live too long. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
wow....
A great american poet
Esquisite
Well done..
What a beautiful film. It could use better than automated subtitles, though. It was nice to see the home in New Hampshire that both he and Jane loved so much and wrote about.
Nothing lasts except that which is never seen or known.
as i light the candle
to the north
behind the glaze of breath
upon the window pane
beneath blackwatchcap
his longlost face startles
is it me or he who's changed
I love that old man
old age could be nicer if there weren't so many problems attached to it - and there seems to be an inability to make new friends ? and really there's a secret shame , that those without children are luckier than those with them ! family of any sort is an enormous inconvenience for most of the elderly ! once people treat you like a thing instead of as a person , you're in big trouble ! but there are those who manage to have a kind of nice older age ! anyway , this video is full of some great observations ! nicely done !
don't finish every sentence with a displaced !
jeez
Shoulders of Giants , NONSENSE !
Shoulders of Giants XDDDD
Go volunteer at a nursing or assisted living home to get a richer perspective. Elderly can make friends like anyone else if a) clustered together vs isolated and b) not fighting illness. When a breath takes all your energy small talk is hardly a priority. But other than that they can do just fine witnessing my relatives interacting in assisted living. Inconvenience: depends on the family and depends on the vitality of the elderly person. Going deaf and growing weak can make people clam up and then yes others might talk in the 3rd person. Otherwise no. Get out there and witness some of this first hand and I think your ideas will change.
Ron R , you have very low expectations ! shame !
He died
June 23, 2018(aged 89)
Wilmot, New Hampshire, U.S.
ManofMorbihan may Jayne be with him
How tragic and empty is such an ending to life! As many seniors at this stage in life, I cannot know which day shall be my last, but I hope it be nothing like the end of Donald Hall. In this video I witnessed a dead man walking. I remember my mother in law having a similar ending. May the fates spare me such an abysmal experience.
"Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Dylan Thomas
07:08: Would have been a great continous shot to hold till he got to the other side of the screen.
Of course roger waters is involved in this somehow. Life is always trying to show me something
This was a combination of Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society and Good Will Hunting
Actually the opposite. This is the reality that those tried to reach. All the best!
Yo them fingers still work. Pop in that new GOD OF WAR or Tetris. I'm still playing Skyrim on my deathbed.
Skyrim in Vr would be perfect if not very mobile it would make you feel like your running through fields and on mountains.
I can only think that, were it not for her death at a relatively young age, she'd have left him. So, he is left with with sweet remembrance of love lost instead of love lost to betrayal.
Why on earth would you think that?
🤣
For an old fella he forgets his history. In the Puritan days of New England we shunned as a means of punishment.
Didn't watch, but in response to the title... It's generalized bullsh*t. LIFE is a "ceremony of losses," if that's the way you wish to view it. And as you age those "losses" don't really intensify unless that IS how you view it, AND if you really did a sh*t job of caring for yourself and your life in youth. You can, in any moment, turn that around (perception and taking proper care of yourself). Caveat, this society,in so many ways, steers you toward the "losses" thing.
I disagree. My gma lost all faculties after alzhiemers set in. She took care of herself her whole life. I watched her whither away in a span of 8 months. She never drank or smoked or drugged. Just took care of her family. She still tried even after she didnt know where she was or recognize her own kids half the time.
OK. Now do a doc on a very old person who has loved and followed Jesus through the years.
We should have never existed in the first place what a mistake we are!
To each his own vision of life but for me i would have prefer to stay in the void instead of coming on this horrible thing call humanity!@Lug Lamhfhada
Peter Tremblay I do believe that humanity is a cancer on Earth. But since we are here, might as well make the best of it.
I agree but at the same time all our existence seem so odd and pointless!@@scottdellrobinson
Peter...yes, that's why it's so funny. To see the mistake and then to laugh; its a process.
Well i guess it's another point of view!@@peggyharris3815
Donaldo, it's not even a ceremony.
Most English lirycs are not poetic like in Spanish the lirycs most of the time by default have to be poetic other wise is tasteless
Grey and right down stupid.
Not English were you only trow some frases or every once in a while.
Sorry this isn't my cup of tea, it was to mediocre in tone, I prefer Arthur Schopenhauer for subjects like this. More to the point.