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Thank you for finally making a man's channel. I have been waiting for months for new content for me as a man. Your content changes lives. It changed my life. I bought the book love after heartbreak volume 1. I've been disappointed for months because all the content is catered towards women now. I've already told over a hundred people in person and given entire speeches on why listening to you would change their lives. And it has been working for those who chose to listen and buy the book
It makes sense for someone to hope the person they marry never change. Why marry someone who is not who you want? Marrying someone and hoping they change after is stupid. Why would they change just because you married them? And you married them, so whatever they were doing worked.
@@JonBandMiley so your logic is not to be blamed at all. But we cant run from evolution, people change with the time, life does that, as things happen we get maulded by situations. As for women, most of the time the men promise to change for the woman and they usually do in the first few years. And then it doesn't last. Because lets face it, you can't pretend forever.
@@SmNkosi-ow1ih When you find "the one" of course you don't want them to change. You liked them for who they are. That is what you wanted to marry and have forever. As Dough from "King of Queens" would say... "THAT was in the brochure." As for your 2nd half of that paragraph. It's not pretending if you actually BECOME the person you wanted to be. And that change should happen before the marriage took place.
I'm battling this now I can't lie. I'm literally forcing myself not to send this text that I KNOW would shatter my dealings with this guy. I'm trying so hard to think logical and not out of emotion
I totally agree I will NEVER share my secrets or struggles when I get in a relationship my ex who I recently broke up with use what I told him against me
@@lashondarochell7584 I’m taken notes I already know but the sad thing is I think my friend is telling her boyfriend my Secret like body count , who I talk to and whatever and I don’t like him lol
Betty White said something so simple yet SO POWERFUL to me, one key to longevity in relationships is KINDNESS! “Be kind to one another, even when you’re really frustrated, don’t say that mean thing because those mean things begin to chip away at the other person.” … That BLESSED my being. #KINDNESS
*“If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”* - Jim Rohn
My dad taught me this...things I shouldn't say to men that would be hurtful. Thanks dad!🥰 My mom also taught me that it's best to remain silent when upset because when you speak while you're upset you're more likely to say hurtful things. She said it's best to wait till after you cool down to say things. Thanks mom!🥰
"Why can't you be more like ______ " That's not just for men. No one should say that to ANYONE! My parents said that to me when I was a kid about just about anyone and everyone. That made me feel like they hated me and liked them. That question makes the person feel like you like the other person better.
Why don’t you make better decisions and go be with your soul tribe #youcantsitwithme 😏 reject them back 🤷♀️ they don’t give af about **your** feelz, why do they think you owe them, shit? IDK but, may you learn to unpack your childhood trauma, with adult, eyes 👀 🥳✊
Ultimately, A woman just wants to know that she's beautiful to her man, and he wants to know that he is sufficient for her. That should be their press, Daily. 💯
I totally agree!! I had to learn this. If we as women are not careful, we can actually hurt the man who in reality is trying to love us. I do regret doing that, because I believe I lost a good man, but it was lessons learned. Everything is not always about the woman, men do have feelings as well. If we(women) want a good man in our lives, we have to do a self-evaluation of ourselves, and see what needs to change before we enter a relationship💯💯💯💯!!!. I’m learning and doing a lot of growing. Thanks Stephan.
Hi Rochelle, I totally agree with your wise and sensitive comment...I used to think men were only strong and tough and unbreakable but they are people, too
Yes and many do not realize this. I filter myself so I don’t say anything hurtful even in the moment of anger. Once something is said, you may be able to move on from it and detach some of the emotions you felt but it will Never be forgotten. Or how it made that person feel when it was said. After build up of these incidents over time, that person on the listening end can feel more and more be okay with complete detachment.
I’ve done this. I’m grateful he was straight up and said “sometimes you say things that hurt peoples feelings not realizing what you say” since then I’ve been better.
On point ONCE AGAIN! Never make him feel unworthy and under appreciated. This was such a great video to be wise in conversation and building a healthy relationship!! I'm glad to know all of this in my singleness!! I can for sure say that I'm growing!!😊 Thanks!!
I have really enjoyed listening to u. I’ve never belittled any man I’ve been with. I would never put my man down or make him feel like less of a man. I wish I would have found you a long time ago. sincerely -single at 41 and not so much loving it thanks
I agree! My recent ex was the same way. I've done a lot for her in many ways and showed me no appreciation. Now add in being argumentative, disrespectful and judging all the time. She had a very surprised look when I left her.
My boyfriend is physically VERY strong due to his job. I love him opening bottles and stuff for me. He's changing a lot in the showing of affection part. I give him lots of cuddles and now he's starting to do it out of his own! He doesn't play games, but he loves TikTok. We have an arrangement that we don't play on our phones in bed. That's our talk time. I think being older helps a lot.
I was in a relationship where I was being constantly compared to an ex.. and then when I put light on the issue he minimised what I felt. When I communicated about my needs he dismissed them.. And this is why he is now my ex. I deserve WAAAAY better and I am worthy of much more than that
@@gwortman3515 nah.. He was just a broken man with a lot of unresolved issues.. Not a bad guy.. Just not emotionally fit to be in a relationship. Sure, the relationship was painful but I had my own issues too.. It does take two to tango. Im actually grateful for that relationship.. It made me grow in unexpected ways. Now I've moved on and I really do wish him all the best I get what you mean.. but I think the word 'narcissistic' is being thrown left, right and centre these days. The truth is.. we all have 'narcissistic' traits and tendencies but that does not mean it classifies us all as fully blown diagnosable dark triad narcissists
The man I'm dating did that and sometimes still talk to this ex and says they're friends but she is an ex for a reason..I'm beginning to rethink our relationship even though he is a wonderful guy, he doesn't want to marry..
"A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." - Proverbs 14:1 Women, we have the ability to tear down our homes by tearing down our men, husband's or Kings, leaders with our mouths, our attitudes, lack of caring for the home. We also have the ability to build strong homes by making wise decisions & honoring our husband, men & respecting them.
@@Sunshann I agree with you. But I'm not speaking on those kind of men now. Every situation should be handled accordingly. And never world I advise any woman and/ or man to stay in an abusive relationship
Really? Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently to my point of view, but also looking into this matter with a different perspective and without condemning anyone's view or trying to make it objectified and thus considering each and everyone's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.
I had a man he would always compare me with his ex,until one day I had to let him know I am and will remain me if you have to compare me you don't belong in my life you belong to your ex,cause you're looking for your ex in other woman.
Yes, I was with someone who did that as well. He did it knowing what he was doing. I asked him why she had left him? 🤔 I am so thrilled that I got the hell away from him.
I've heard the inverse of the first before. My girl said that I remind her of her ex because I don't take her on dates. That sent me over the edge because she could have just said "I would like you to take me on more dates" or something to that effect. But nah, now what could have been an amicable conversation has started off with hurt feelings.
As a Woman matures, ages, and season. From experience she definitely learns what to say and what to keep when it comes to a man. Men are who they are but definitely not as thick skinned as a Woman. Period!
There’s a point where I agree with some of these suggestions, all these things talks & suggestions perpetually makes us out as a cheerleader…. While I don’t mind believing & encouraging my man ultimately he has to step up on his own,knowing I’m in his corner… It’s get tiring being a cheerleader all the time, or mothering a grown person …we need to grow together, mutual supporting one another
You said it exactly the way i think. We also have our own lives which by the way they easily get intimidates by as well. I feel like all these things are just justifying weakness in men. There is so many of these videos telling us how we women shouldn't say certain things to the man because he will feel emasculated. Men need to get their act together man!!!!!!!
@@rellbgm this has nothing to do with needing "better decision making skills" since "nice guys"/ "good men" are guilty of this as well. but I guess I can't expect relevance from a comment that's been copied- pasted throughout this video...
It's important for men to remember not to compare their new partners to their old partners as well. It frustrates me so much when I get compared to women that treated my ex like such crap, when I'm trying my best to show him how much more he deserves. Ugh.
I've learned that most men actually perceive RESPECT as LOVE. If you don't respect the man in your life...most likely he's not going to feel LOVED. Also, you can TELL someone you LOVE them ALL DAY LONG and yet if your ACTIONS aren't backing up your WORDS....then you're just WASTING YOUR TIME!!! WORDS are a dime a dozen.
Love Stephan's delivery method because I'm a "How-To" person. Your comment reminded me of the fantastic Christian book, "Love and Respect" by Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs, because of the how-to guides in the Appendix.
I disagree with your dime a dozen comment. I don't say I Love You if I don't mean it. And it takes a whole to get there. I also don't trust right out of the gate. I give respect and trust is earned. When you show you can't be respected I'm out.
I always try to be mindful of other people’s feelings regardless, especially someone who I’m dating. When you start comparing your significant other to someone else, that’s where problems can occur. Always like someone for who they are, if not keep it moving.
True. But sometimes the opposite hurts waaayyy worst than the what you may think might not be offensive. Like with me...I tell Everybody I am cool with that I want and respect Total Honesty. I'm gonna give it to you...and I want you to give it to me. Period! They Always say Yeah yeah. Then when the time comes...it may be a hard truth...or maybe according to you. But instead of telling me the truth or being real with me...you ghost me or whatever. Thats Not Cool. Period! Its not like I got thin skin. And I Told yall NUMEROUS TIMES that I want the real and total honesty. I don't get offended by Honesty and realness. I'm not that sensitive. But lies and not being real...I hate that. You ghost someone just to not be real...that says a lot about yall than it does them. IJS.
@@jayc5756 Hi I appreciate you sharing your honesty and I agree that complete honesty is definitely one of the main tools for a successful relationship. I pray that you receive someone who will be completely honest with you!!
Great advice Stephan. I believe that goes back to do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. Real love doesn't insult, humiliate nor make someone feel inferior to another or in any type of way. Thanks for those teachings on how to respectfully love on a partner Stephan😍❤💯
How about if you’ve dated narcissist? Does this apply because I see bs right away. I think respect goes both ways because I’ve encountered men who just rubbed in my face about other women and yet demanded a full loyalty and respect plus kindness from me. I think relationship are good enough to begin with when a man can pretty show first how much he respect the woman he is seeing with because women are good for collecting details and that affect how she view the man she’s seeing with ! Before a woman can be so mean to a man it means he already crossed that boundaries enough for her to be not kind (most of the time unless she is a cold hearted woman from the beginning but usually that tension build up when a man is not careful how he making her feel in his life ). Personal experience , if you want my kindness, loyalty and respect then I need to have it in return there’s no unconditional relationship…. Both individuals should be willing to meet half way to meet their needs and not reciprocate their own values and boundaries. Good video though. Me personally I am the most kindest person but usually people or even men see it as weakness 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
If you know you have been with a narcissist, then the problem was never this advice it was that you were trying to use it with the wrong person/people. You for sure need to heal from these relationships so that you can more easily discern who is worth your time moving forward!
I feel you 100%. My husband is a narcissist & I noticed many things in this video apply to things he’s done with his fucked up personality disorder. A woman can never be her best dealing with a narc.
I’m guilty of comparing my ex husband with the man I was with at the time. That won’t happen again. Thank you Stephen for giving me more insight or clarity. This video truly helps!
We all make mistakes! It's always good to be cautious! However, there may come a time when we say something we shouldn't. At that time we should first never want to do it again, we should ask forgiveness to God for hurting that special someone, we should ask their forgiveness and then place the matter in God's Hands. He will take good care of the matter.
I am so happy I found your channel! I sincerely appreciate your delivery it makes it VERY easy to be receptive. You aren’t combative or chastising either party, you genuinely want us to grow with God, and be the best versions of ourselves, not solely for a partner. Thank you!
Great video. Maybe #8 should be “Never tell him how many men you’ve had sex with.” I’ve always revealed my number because I think it’s ridiculous to care, but I’ll never tell it again. Nothing good ever comes from that information.
I had a guy ask me and I was truthful but he didn’t believe me cause it was (still is) too low he expected 10-15 cause he’s use to dealing with women like that
"You look fine baby" is a perfect answer. Still, get rid of the "Am I fat?" questions. I am older and I can tell you that it doesn't do anyone any good in the relationship because as you age, there will be things about both men and women that will change that love can overcome. Today is all we have.
I had no idea games and sports were so important and could bring validation. My husband is obsessed with watching sports. I always viewed it as couch potato behavior or non productive. As a mom I'm always looking for what needs to be done around the house. There is no show that I could watch for hours that whole house will shut down for. Thank you for giving me another perspective on Games. I have learned a huge lesson today after 15 years of marriage 17 years together.
If he's not helping you around the house then that does need to be addressed. Maybe also have your downtime during the game but then afterwards, you both tackle the housework?
THISSSS video is EXCELLENT. A kindhearted, positive person makes a BIG DIFFERENCE. I treat ppl the way I want to be treated. Maturity and growth is EVERYTHINGGG. Respect is important. That spouse/love interest is a reflection of u. Disrespect and verbal abuse is unacceptable.
I agree with this list and RESPECT is definitely a must. Women need to vet men and pay attention to a mans maturity level. Video games distract from reality, just like numerous things in society today. How many of these men are INVESTED in the companies that create the software and equipment for these games? I understand the comradery and recreation, but these video games are addictive and designed to be.
Thank you very much for this video. It was quite insightful. 🙏 7 things you should never tell/ask a man! 1) Why can't you be more like....so and so 2) You're not that strong. 3) It's just a game. (E.g. video games. It's not advisable to interrupt or argue about it whiles he's playing the game, talk about it after. This can cause resentment and friction in the relationship. ) 4) You need to man up. (This can emasculate him in that moment. Attacks his manhood and shows disrespect in a blatant way.) 5) My ex used to do that too. (Creates a bad habit of looking at things through the lense of what others have done compared to what your new person is doing) 6) Am I fat? (You put him in an uncomfortable position. It's best not to ask this question if you're going to have doubts that his response was sincere, if you're going to feel insecure and can't handle it well) 7) Those condoms are too big for you. Notes for the people who don't have the time to watch the whole video. I'd still suggest that people watch the whole video to gain more insight.
Thank you, this is helpful, I don’t have a lot of extra time so this really helps, I love his videos and agree that watching to the end is powerful but there are days that I just want to know right away! 😇
I was told that his ex was his best friend, and they had a lot of interest. Things I have no interest in. That hurt me deeply, I felt like I was being compared. I just told him , I'm sorry I'm not her. In another conversation I did tell him that I don't have what I had. Meaning my late husband was always sensitive to my emotional needs. I also told him I wasn't trying to compare. But he is not there for me as I need. My late husband was all about me, and I miss that.
There are two phrases that will make me leave a woman right after she says them. And "Why can't you be more like my ex?" is one of them. Leaving her at that point isn't me being SENSITIVE. It's me being INTELLIGENT enough to override my emotional connection to her, cutting my losses, and finding a woman who wants me for me and isn't attempting to turn me into her ex. The other is: "A real man would - XYZ." Because at that point, she's questioning my manhood. If a woman questions your manhood, she won't respect you. And if she doesn't respect you...She will either leave you or use you untill she finds a man that she can. Leaving her isn't SENSITIVE. It's INTELLIGENT and in your best interest going forward in life.
So true it is never good to ever compare your partners to anyone especially in a bad light especially to an ex. That is a no go.😂 Another great one Stephan, love it ! 🥰
In all honesty as women we gotta check ourselves and heal. As for me in my past I didn’t RESPECT MEN, So unconsciously and consciously I have been disrespectful. As I do the healing I got find out that in a subconscious level that it stems from childhood wounds. Daddy issues. Healing is a must. Thank you for dropping 💎
I am going through this too. I needed to check myself for real. Thank you for sharing. It’s always nice to hear someone else is going through the same thing
My husband and I have been married 8 years and we rarely have real conversations. I wouldn't know how to begin to voice my concerns. This was very informative for me. Thank you.
God bless you Stephan ! You are a true blessing in our lifes and as a woman I can assure you that I see little miracles everyday because of your wisdom and advices ! Thank you ❤️❤️
I was dating someone who was a widower. He had the audacity to say to me that his deceased wife would have catered a family gathering rather than cooking the dinner. He stated “….would have never done it like this”. I was ready to go back home on the next plane! The gathering was the next day. His son and I cooked the entire meal, including deserts. It was a huge hit. He also wanted us to go every restaurant that he and his wife went, then he proceeded to state which table they sat. Then he wondered why I wouldn’t have him move in with me!
Wow, Respectfully that was his life with his Late Wife.....Maybe he didn't know how it would or could affect his current friendship with a person.....Peace Yall.
@@rozgordon6125 With no disrespect to his wife and to his relationship with his marriage, he was not able to see me for whom I am. I also was widowed and had a great marriage. But, I didn’t want his face in my husbands place. I encouraged him many times to seek help to grieve for her. It took me two years and many tears. I think the best way for me, in the end, to realize that I was in his life for a reason. And that thought is how spirituality works. To all of you who date…see the person you are with, not the person you wish they were. I am enough ❤️
I’m very respectful & uplifting of my man . If you ever see me belittling him you better believe it’s all-ready over in my head I really don’t do that .
It's not about the game (on t.v. or a video game), it's about the down time. For a lot of people (male & female), it's a chance to unwind & decompress to relax; the opportunity to shift focus to something outside of the everyday responsibility matters that we can enjoy. We all need this opportunity, we all need breaks & "me time". That was a good topic to touch on.
Another great video, Stephan! Both men and women have to be mindful of the tone and timing of asking a question or making a criticism. You always break things down with good examples, Your engaging personality makes women receptive to your advice. I've shared your videos with friends. You're the BEST!
I love the way you had a genuine belly laugh at No7 , you lost it and that is so sexy when a man laughs without any reservations . You glowing with that smile 😊
I just come across your videos and I love them because you speak the truth and you don't speak for women alone but for both man what I understand in your videos is that you are trying to help us all in our relationships you are really teaching us a lot and I will learn a lot in your videos thanks a lot and God bless you 🙏
@@stevec3526 NOT TRUE...! TOO MANY WOMEN..ARE IN TURMOIL OVER AND OVER IN BAD RELATIONSHIPS THESE DAYS... THEY ARE LACKING IN SELF RESPECT...., THERAPIST'S WOULD AGREE..😙😚
Very good explanation and breakdown of why certain things that people are going to be tempted to express to a significant man are just not helpful and actually undermines the good rapport. There are more wise measures to respect and grow in a relationship. And if you are feeling like these things need to be said, then that’s your opportunity to consider if you are a good fit in the first place.
I must be a cultivated woman, because I would never say any of those things to the man I love, albeit, as complicated as our relationship is. But your right on point; I agree with everything you’ve said!
Empathy and Respect especially when he is trying comparison is the thieve of Joy never compare your own self or someone else I've heard it and it hurts be like someone else Husband or Father they make you jump thru hoops. A Female can be condescending sometimes say anything without thinking I never try to put someone down Wife Children always positive. So I hope what I give is reciprocal.A good thing Ladies and Gentlemen think what comes out how it comes out when it comes out Have a prayerful spirit and don't follow after negative people and behavior won't get you any place People wonder why a relationship can't be sustained
Thank you for this video! I’m definitely guilty of the video game one and I am so happy you mentioned it because as a woman I never really realized how video games can be positive in that way for men. I would even go further to say that we should be supportive of our partners hobbies and interests, whether it’s video games, sports, etc and not just grudgingly accept it. I think that goes a long way and I still have learning to do but I know that when I show support and interest towards his interests, he is so appreciative of it, I become more attractive to him and he loves me more ❤️
I do find excessively violent video games problematic, tho. I forgot that it's possible to interact with other players though some video games, so there could be something else going on.
Id much rather my man playing video games than out getting in trouble or at strip clubs so if he wants to play games or watch sports then I’ll be right there hanging with him if he wants, or getting him a beer and just letting him be! Lol!
Exactly, I wish I heard this two decades ago. You are correct. If a woman feels like building up and respecting isn’t going anywhere, than you gotta consider if you’re investing in a good investment in this particular person and relationship. Instead, I think I started to use the negative things and tried to set him straight. It of course didn’t work and kept me trapped in trying with someone not worthy. Worse yet, I didn’t like being that way. It’s not what I’m all about. Don’t let anyone else cause you to go there, right? No. Keep it as respectful and uplifting and lighthearted as you are.
Unfortunately fell into one or some of these wrongs and our marriage ended. Looks as though his parts have been reattached and he’s back to superhero status apart from me. Learned these lessons the hard way but hearing you list these clearly - greatly appreciated! Keep doing your helpful work, Stephan.
factually! if a person can't say anything good about their partner they shouldn't say anything thing at all. Relationships should be about building each other up not tearing each other down.
I was created to be a help mate. A helper. A supporter. An encourager. When I build him up, when I help his dreams come to be, however I can help, he is closer to me in relationship. And that makes me feel loved. Cherished. I'm happier by investing myself in making him happy.
Awesome vid! Thank you so much, Stephan. Always the best advice! We need to accept men as they are. Men have huge egos, so women need to tread lightly knowing that. Insecure men that have been hurt by women in the past are especially sensitive to certain things. A lot of men will just walk away from even dealing with women because of past pain - as in the MGTOW movement. Number seven was a no brainer. The way I see that is that if a woman really loves and cares for a man, size will not matter. She will love the whole person. "In sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth." Some people want everything to be perfect, all the time, and that is not realistic. We have all been brainwashed by Hollywood and fairy tales.
I wish I would “tread lightly” because a man has a huge or fragile ego 😂😂 most of them have no reason to have a huge ego! Their insecure selves need to do their healing! Not look for me to deal with their trauma, pain, addictions, etc. they need counseling
🙄 Yeah... You're only saying that" size will not matter" cuz you have had all the B!G ONES there could ever have, but should you be a woman who have saved herself for marriage you wouldn't want your husband to be just a " thumb size."
This is some really good points Stephen, we as women have to be extremely careful of what we say to our partners or men. They have feelings like we do; Encourage him, give him the fuel to stand up, inspire him that makes a big difference. Speak life into that man. You don't bring your ex up in your new relationship that's a slap in the face to the man you're involved with that you still have feelings for your ex: again this can cause a big problem!!!
Women don’t like to be compared to other women by their man either. My ex husband would always compare me to other women, specially the ones he was having an affair with…
Honestly Stephan, I’ve said ALL of these things to a man before, and it wasn’t the good men with a few bad traits. I said it to the blatantly evil and narcissistic men that I was connected to that had no respect for me, and I in return lost respect for them lol, but I would never say them to a good man with a few flaws
One time I told my ex he wasn’t a man. The next day he told me it really hurt his feelings. I wish I would have seen this video while we were together. Because I said a lot of hurtful things while I was mad because he never showed emotion or feelings. Plus growing up I never seen men express hurt or sad feelings so I always treated men like they had no feelings. Your videos help me understand that they have feelings to..
Great video..Words have the ability to build up or tear down. Often we forget just how powerful our words can affect others..Agree with all 7 points, especially comparison , that can really bring up feelings of not living up to someone's ideals or indirectly saying they are not good enough. Agree anything new needs to not resemble anything from the past. Comparison in a way is holding on to moments or memories that have not been relinquished, especially when it comes to an ex. The best thing to do is to build your partner up with love, concern, & embracing all of who he is without comparison. When you are really into him the others want compare regardless of the size of the package, tell me more about the size of his heart. Now, that's love. Thank you as always for your insightful video, blessings to you.
Instead of battling video games with hubby and kids, I embraced it with them and found games I was interested in which led me down the path of 2 months research and building a Desktop Gaming PC that also doubled as being useful for Content/Video Creation and Music Production that my husband does. Although I still play less then them, I do find the relief from the stresses of life, and respect the times when he does play. Win win!
1. Why can't you be more like _____? 2. You're not that strong. 3. It's just a game. 4. You need to man up. 4a. You're acting like a little b***h. 5. My ex used to do that too. 6. Am I fat? 7. Those condoms are too big for you.
shes been saying these small things for like a week before our fight and well the breakup she even blamed me for ruining our relationship saying i was "too soft" , and you are correct she might not have viewed what she was saying as a huge deal but for me it really hit hard, i never once cussed her out or anything before the fight..
Men need to conquer stuff. That makes perfect sense! Never have I ever been able to figure this out and I have never heard anyone discern that before about a man. That is so very helpful! I'm going to tell every woman I know the best I can. It does make sense that it hits the very nature of how man is created. So the presumed addiction is the desire to conquer which is actually a good thing if translated into the real world. Any habit has to be balanced like any other pleasure, surely. But this takes it out of the competition for his time and attention Lane in my view. As long as he does the math on his times just like any computer endeavor, Electronics just suck away your life if not monitored no matter what the age. I can see that would be a relief to win in something on some days. Just not while the baby has been crying and Mom is over the edge after dealing with the home environment all day. Or the work environment and then the home environment all night. Just a couple's balancing thing to get some me time. I can see video games now are relaxing, like after a good workout kind of relaxing, that relieves the stress of the day. Wow. Seriously...so.good. I believe this video can bring peace to many a household if both parties take it seriously! Thank you! Just a suggestion but maybe add a label or release it under a different title and address how to get your man's attention at home or why does a man play video games so much or it's not about you it's about the Conquering, titles like that. Keep God happy and be blessed!
Hello Mr. Stephan Speaks! I just wanted you to know I’ve been watching your videos and I must say I appreciate you! Your videos are changing my life. At 55yrs old you are teaching me how to not only identify with whether a man is interested or whether he loves me but also for me to examine my own feelings towards him. And that men are broken too and needs self healing. Thank you MOG for your inspirational insight and clarity on relationships.
I think telling him I LOVE TOO soon will make him run or stay. I’ve learned no man is going to be like my dad. My dad was more than a true man. So, if you had a positive dad in your life-don’t say I wish you were like my dad. Lol.
I have very high standards. There are no compromises. Minor mistakes I will forgive and let go. All of my expectations I share with him from the start. So if he's honest, he will know whether he has the quality or not. Leave me if you're not...the one!! !! But his ego will keep him there. We will get absolutely nowhere if I spot major red flags, a Narcissist or con-artisit. Those are so easy to dismiss.
I have said all the above, except for #7, to a previous love interest.. resulting in a lot of moping on his part and me, trying to backtrack with mitigated success. I have learned the hard way and although I did not mean to be harmful, I have created more hurt and distrust than necessary. We split after 8 years and are still friends, although platonic. We are now able to joke about my ill statements.... but I will never make those mistakes again!
Don’t speak out of anger, when your angry go off by yourself if you have to for a few or until calmed down then speak and talk to them. Makes a big difference. Ppl say a lot of horrible things when thei mad
Newly subscribed and really enjoying your content mate. Can I just say your hair and beard is awesome ! I really think considering what we say before we say it is undervalued in today's society. This 'sticks and stones ' attitude is as unsophisticated as its playground origins. I think it's good for all of us as individuals to work towards having an unconquerable sense of value independent of others' opinions so that whatever is said or happens to us can't shake our inner peace as it were ( you can't control everything that happens to you but you are in control of how you respond to it) however this shouldn't be an excuse for unkindness, cruelty, thoughtlessness or indeed be used to intentionally undermine people. Saying ' I'm just being honest' hides a multitude of sins. Some Bhuddist teachers tells us we should let go of our ego completely but The Noble Eightfold Path reminds us of the the importance of mindfulness in our speech. We should speak mindfully so that our speech is useful and purposefull and gives rise to happiness in oneself and others.
I strongly agree I also believe it goes for men and women in a relationship because my relationship now is my first healthy relationship and my boyfriend have said one or two times in nine months that hurt my feelings even though he was sharing his feelings he used the wrong words and I explained to him that he don't have to use hurtful words he can express his self in a loving kind caring way I also told him that once he put it out there he can't take it back whether or not we dwell on it it still has been said and the other partner will never forget it
Sensitive men don’t like comparisons they need to be free to be free ! Constructive criticisms is constructive not painful . You’re on the money here !
Ouch! It's like the issue of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, Amber Heard will say Her reaction to that was she was in disbelief and sort of disgust because she said, ‘Dior, why would Dior want to do business with you? They are about class and they are about style and you don’t have style.’ “It was insulting. Taking away that one moment, that insult is there.” not all woman are the victim of emotional damage. Men too 😢
Don't forget she also called him an old fat man. I share Amber's initials and am EXACTLY 7 months younger than her and I couldn't IMAGINE speaking to or doing to any person, man or woman, the things she did to her own husband. It's despicable and disgusting on every level.
thank u for blessing us so promptly within the new year with your guidance & insight. abundant blessingz to you n’ all that u do. PS the volume is much lower than any of your uploads.
You can subscribe to my men's channel here --> ruclips.net/channel/UCwlozcqYPJcDRJ4D9SnVQoA
Get your copy of "How To Get A Man To Cherish You..." here 👉 www.becherishedbyhim.com
Qq
Thank you for finally making a man's channel. I have been waiting for months for new content for me as a man. Your content changes lives. It changed my life. I bought the book love after heartbreak volume 1. I've been disappointed for months because all the content is catered towards women now. I've already told over a hundred people in person and given entire speeches on why listening to you would change their lives. And it has been working for those who chose to listen and buy the book
Stephan do you have your own dating website?
@@JoAnnMaria72 I do for coaching and more visit my site www.stephanspeaks.com/
Hi Steven is it right for man to give you his old wedding ring of his last wife if he asked you to marry him
“Men marry hoping the woman will never change. Women tend to marry hoping the man will change.” Damn, I felt this. Too real.
I figured that out 30 years ago.
So true
It makes sense for someone to hope the person they marry never change. Why marry someone who is not who you want?
Marrying someone and hoping they change after is stupid. Why would they change just because you married them? And you married them, so whatever they were doing worked.
@@JonBandMiley so your logic is not to be blamed at all. But we cant run from evolution, people change with the time, life does that, as things happen we get maulded by situations.
As for women, most of the time the men promise to change for the woman and they usually do in the first few years. And then it doesn't last. Because lets face it, you can't pretend forever.
@@SmNkosi-ow1ih When you find "the one" of course you don't want them to change. You liked them for who they are. That is what you wanted to marry and have forever. As Dough from "King of Queens" would say... "THAT was in the brochure."
As for your 2nd half of that paragraph. It's not pretending if you actually BECOME the person you wanted to be. And that change should happen before the marriage took place.
Controlling what you say is the smartest thing a person can do.it's a hard lesson to learn but never to late to learn it.
You're absolutely right!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thanks Stephen❤️
@@sandragreen5146 My pleasure ❤️
I'm battling this now I can't lie. I'm literally forcing myself not to send this text that I KNOW would shatter my dealings with this guy. I'm trying so hard to think logical and not out of emotion
Agreed
Never tell them all your secrets or about your painful struggles. Trust me, they will use it against you & to manipulate you. 💌
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
I totally agree I will NEVER share my secrets or struggles when I get in a relationship my ex who I recently broke up with use what I told him against me
Never tell them your body count too if you think it’s alittle high
@@lashondarochell7584 I’m taken notes I already know but the sad thing is I think my friend is telling her boyfriend my Secret like body count , who I talk to and whatever and I don’t like him lol
@@shutit4024 Never, ever share that info 🤭
Betty White said something so simple yet SO POWERFUL to me, one key to longevity in relationships is KINDNESS! “Be kind to one another, even when you’re really frustrated, don’t say that mean thing because those mean things begin to chip away at the other person.” … That BLESSED my being. #KINDNESS
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks no problem
❤️❤️❤️
Oooh I love this. Betty seemed like such a wonderful person. God rest her soul.
Luv this…so true
*“If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”* - Jim Rohn
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Wowwww facts
I love this. Words of wisdom to live by for sure
I felt this!woah this really makes alot of sense
This
My dad taught me this...things I shouldn't say to men that would be hurtful. Thanks dad!🥰 My mom also taught me that it's best to remain silent when upset because when you speak while you're upset you're more likely to say hurtful things. She said it's best to wait till after you cool down to say things. Thanks mom!🥰
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Thank your parents for their great advice and insight. That's a wonderful foundation to give a child.
@@hilaryglasser2475 Thanks. Yes I am so grateful for them and I tell them that all the time. I love them so much.❤️
That’s love. Did your dad tell you anything that’s not something Stephan said & would you share?
So the silent treatment is to prevent saying something regretful.
"Why can't you be more like ______ " That's not just for men. No one should say that to ANYONE! My parents said that to me when I was a kid about just about anyone and everyone. That made me feel like they hated me and liked them. That question makes the person feel like you like the other person better.
Why don’t you make better decisions and go be with your soul tribe #youcantsitwithme
😏 reject them back 🤷♀️ they don’t give af about **your** feelz, why do they think you owe them, shit? IDK but, may you learn to unpack your childhood trauma, with adult, eyes 👀 🥳✊
Yes my dad always compared us to our cousins
Ultimately, A woman just wants to know that she's beautiful to her man, and he wants to know that he is sufficient for her. That should be their press, Daily. 💯
Many get upset when there is no total honesty, then stay upset when there is total honesty
I feel you, that would definitely not be an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
I totally agree!! I had to learn this. If we as women are not careful, we can actually hurt the man who in reality is trying to love us. I do regret doing that, because I believe I lost a good man, but it was lessons learned. Everything is not always about the woman, men do have feelings as well. If we(women) want a good man in our lives, we have to do a self-evaluation of ourselves, and see what needs to change before we enter a relationship💯💯💯💯!!!. I’m learning and doing a lot of growing. Thanks Stephan.
Hi Rochelle, I totally agree with your wise and sensitive comment...I used to think men were only strong and tough and unbreakable but they are people, too
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Exactly and once you lose a good one it’s hard to find another one. Always be careful with your words and actions.
Reflection and change is admirable.
BEAUTIFULLY STATED!💖🙌🏾 SAME here 🙏🏾
Once something is said, it can never be taken back.
You're absolutely right!
Yes and many do not realize this. I filter myself so I don’t say anything hurtful even in the moment of anger. Once something is said, you may be able to move on from it and detach some of the emotions you felt but it will Never be forgotten. Or how it made that person feel when it was said. After build up of these incidents over time, that person on the listening end can feel more and more be okay with complete detachment.
I’ve done this. I’m grateful he was straight up and said “sometimes you say things that hurt peoples feelings not realizing what you say” since then I’ve been better.
Glad to hear that, I appreciate your feedback. Thank you for sharing ❤.
My ex said the same to me
On point ONCE AGAIN! Never make him feel unworthy and under appreciated. This was such a great video to be wise in conversation and building a healthy relationship!! I'm glad to know all of this in my singleness!! I can for sure say that I'm growing!!😊 Thanks!!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
I have really enjoyed listening to u. I’ve never belittled any man I’ve been with. I would never put my man down or make him feel like less of a man. I wish I would have found you a long time ago. sincerely
-single at 41 and not so much loving it
thanks
@@lisatrask1885 @Lisa Trask I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you the man God has for you 🙏
I agree! My recent ex was the same way. I've done a lot for her in many ways and showed me no appreciation. Now add in being argumentative, disrespectful and judging all the time. She had a very surprised look when I left her.
“Babe I don’t want you to hurt your back, let someone lift that with you “.
My boyfriend is physically VERY strong due to his job. I love him opening bottles and stuff for me.
He's changing a lot in the showing of affection part. I give him lots of cuddles and now he's starting to do it out of his own!
He doesn't play games, but he loves TikTok. We have an arrangement that we don't play on our phones in bed. That's our talk time.
I think being older helps a lot.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
play soing the botel kussing game
I was in a relationship where I was being constantly compared to an ex.. and then when I put light on the issue he minimised what I felt. When I communicated about my needs he dismissed them.. And this is why he is now my ex. I deserve WAAAAY better and I am worthy of much more than that
He sounds narcissistic
@@gwortman3515 nah.. He was just a broken man with a lot of unresolved issues.. Not a bad guy.. Just not emotionally fit to be in a relationship. Sure, the relationship was painful but I had my own issues too.. It does take two to tango. Im actually grateful for that relationship.. It made me grow in unexpected ways. Now I've moved on and I really do wish him all the best
I get what you mean.. but I think the word 'narcissistic' is being thrown left, right and centre these days. The truth is.. we all have 'narcissistic' traits and tendencies but that does not mean it classifies us all as fully blown diagnosable dark triad narcissists
Gaslighting you. Definitely deserve better
THERE IS NO COMPARISON....!!😉
PERIOD....!!!!
The man I'm dating did that and sometimes still talk to this ex and says they're friends but she is an ex for a reason..I'm beginning to rethink our relationship even though he is a wonderful guy, he doesn't want to marry..
"A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." - Proverbs 14:1
Women, we have the ability to tear down our homes by tearing down our men, husband's or Kings, leaders with our mouths, our attitudes, lack of caring for the home. We also have the ability to build strong homes by making wise decisions & honoring our husband, men & respecting them.
Every man doesn’t deserve this. 🤷🏻♀️ Some are abusive and self sabotaging and treat the women exactly how they DONT want to be treated.
@@Sunshann I agree with you. But I'm not speaking on those kind of men now. Every situation should be handled accordingly. And never world I advise any woman and/ or man to stay in an abusive relationship
Very well said!!!!
Goes both ways
Really? Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently to my point of view, but also looking into this matter with a different perspective and without condemning anyone's view or trying to make it objectified and thus considering each and everyone's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.
I had a man he would always compare me with his ex,until one day I had to let him know I am and will remain me if you have to compare me you don't belong in my life you belong to your ex,cause you're looking for your ex in other woman.
This!!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Yes, I was with someone who did that as well. He did it knowing what he was doing. I asked him why she had left him? 🤔 I am so thrilled that I got the hell away from him.
😂so true. My ex did that to me.
I've heard the inverse of the first before. My girl said that I remind her of her ex because I don't take her on dates. That sent me over the edge because she could have just said "I would like you to take me on more dates" or something to that effect. But nah, now what could have been an amicable conversation has started off with hurt feelings.
🙏 I hope she reaches the point of truly doing what is best!
As a Woman matures, ages, and season. From experience she definitely learns what to say and what to keep when it comes to a man. Men are who they are but definitely not as thick skinned as a Woman. Period!
They’re not
They really aren't
Yup🙂
🙄And the cycle repeats itself...
You are so right.
There’s a point where I agree with some of these suggestions, all these things talks & suggestions perpetually makes us out as a cheerleader…. While I don’t mind believing & encouraging my man ultimately he has to step up on his own,knowing I’m in his corner…
It’s get tiring being a cheerleader all the time, or mothering a grown person …we need to grow together, mutual supporting one another
I agree with you, Mary.
You need better decision making skills sounds like. If you're tired of "cheerleading" chance the type of guys you deal with.
You said it exactly the way i think. We also have our own lives which by the way they easily get intimidates by as well. I feel like all these things are just justifying weakness in men.
There is so many of these videos telling us how we women shouldn't say certain things to the man because he will feel emasculated.
Men need to get their act together man!!!!!!!
@@SmNkosi-ow1ih exactly. Meanwhile we as women have to deal with what certain men say and do to us smh
@@rellbgm this has nothing to do with needing "better decision making skills" since "nice guys"/ "good men" are guilty of this as well. but I guess I can't expect relevance from a comment that's been copied- pasted throughout this video...
It's important for men to remember not to compare their new partners to their old partners as well. It frustrates me so much when I get compared to women that treated my ex like such crap, when I'm trying my best to show him how much more he deserves. Ugh.
I agree. Women don’t like comparison too. That goes both ways.
Absolutely!
I've learned that most men actually perceive RESPECT as LOVE. If you don't respect the man in your life...most likely he's not going to feel LOVED. Also, you can TELL someone you LOVE them ALL DAY LONG and yet if your ACTIONS aren't backing up your WORDS....then you're just WASTING YOUR TIME!!! WORDS are a dime a dozen.
Love Stephan's delivery method because I'm a "How-To" person.
Your comment reminded me of the fantastic Christian book,
"Love and Respect"
by Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs,
because of the how-to guides in the Appendix.
I disagree with your dime a dozen comment. I don't say I Love You if I don't mean it. And it takes a whole to get there. I also don't trust right out of the gate. I give respect and trust is earned. When you show you can't be respected I'm out.
I always try to be mindful of other people’s feelings regardless, especially someone who I’m dating. When you start comparing your significant other to someone else, that’s where problems can occur. Always like someone for who they are, if not keep it moving.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
True. But sometimes the opposite hurts waaayyy worst than the what you may think might not be offensive.
Like with me...I tell Everybody I am cool with that I want and respect Total Honesty. I'm gonna give it to you...and I want you to give it to me. Period!
They Always say Yeah yeah. Then when the time comes...it may be a hard truth...or maybe according to you. But instead of telling me the truth or being real with me...you ghost me or whatever. Thats Not Cool. Period!
Its not like I got thin skin. And I Told yall NUMEROUS TIMES that I want the real and total honesty. I don't get offended by Honesty and realness. I'm not that sensitive. But lies and not being real...I hate that. You ghost someone just to not be real...that says a lot about yall than it does them. IJS.
@@jayc5756 Hi I appreciate you sharing your honesty and I agree that complete honesty is definitely one of the main tools for a successful relationship. I pray that you receive someone who will be completely honest with you!!
Yes
Great advice Stephan. I believe that goes back to do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. Real love doesn't insult, humiliate nor make someone feel inferior to another or in any type of way. Thanks for those teachings on how to respectfully love on a partner Stephan😍❤💯
My pleasure ❤
That's pretty much 1 Corinthians 13.
How about if you’ve dated narcissist? Does this apply because I see bs right away. I think respect goes both ways because I’ve encountered men who just rubbed in my face about other women and yet demanded a full loyalty and respect plus kindness from me. I think relationship are good enough to begin with when a man can pretty show first how much he respect the woman he is seeing with because women are good for collecting details and that affect how she view the man she’s seeing with ! Before a woman can be so mean to a man it means he already crossed that boundaries enough for her to be not kind (most of the time unless she is a cold hearted woman from the beginning but usually that tension build up when a man is not careful how he making her feel in his life ). Personal experience , if you want my kindness, loyalty and respect then I need to have it in return there’s no unconditional relationship…. Both individuals should be willing to meet half way to meet their needs and not reciprocate their own values and boundaries.
Good video though. Me personally I am the most kindest person but usually people or even men see it as weakness 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but you need to focus on doing what is truly best 🙏
If you know you have been with a narcissist, then the problem was never this advice it was that you were trying to use it with the wrong person/people. You for sure need to heal from these relationships so that you can more easily discern who is worth your time moving forward!
@@kimberlysmithcarlson1777 Well said.
@@joanjones3677 Thank you!
I feel you 100%. My husband is a narcissist & I noticed many things in this video apply to things he’s done with his fucked up personality disorder. A woman can never be her best dealing with a narc.
I’m guilty of comparing my ex husband with the man I was with at the time. That won’t happen again. Thank you Stephen for giving me more insight or clarity. This video truly helps!
I was guilty of this too sis
Glad I could help!
God bless you
We all make mistakes! It's always good to be cautious! However, there may come a time when we say something we shouldn't. At that time we should first never want to do it again, we should ask forgiveness to God for hurting that special someone, we should ask their forgiveness and then place the matter in God's Hands. He will take good care of the matter.
I am so happy I found your channel! I sincerely appreciate your delivery it makes it VERY easy to be receptive. You aren’t combative or chastising either party, you genuinely want us to grow with God, and be the best versions of ourselves, not solely for a partner. Thank you!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
I know I love his approach, he is th big brother I never had, so thankful for these lessons !! 💯💯
Great comment. I agree. 💓
I just love how you take your time to explain your points🔥🔥🔥
❤ 🙂 Thank you!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks it's my pleasure ❤😊
Women need love. Men need respect.
Huh? Where did you get that from?? Eveyone needs love and respect
#7 made laugh…
I learned that is very important to safeguard my man’s confidence if I want him to stay in his masculine.
Great Video💯❤️🙏🏽
❤ 🙂 Thank you!
I’m gonna have to watch the entire video bc I don’t understand how those elements of his manhood become his woman’s responsibility. 😩
Great video. Maybe #8 should be “Never tell him how many men you’ve had sex with.” I’ve always revealed my number because I think it’s ridiculous to care, but I’ll never tell it again. Nothing good ever comes from that information.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
My mantra:
"My past is none of my present's business, unless it affects his future."
@@flooredjustfloored that part
Rgt! What can a man do with that information anyways except use it against you?
I had a guy ask me and I was truthful but he didn’t believe me cause it was (still is) too low he expected 10-15 cause he’s use to dealing with women like that
"You look fine baby" is a perfect answer. Still, get rid of the "Am I fat?" questions. I am older and I can tell you that it doesn't do anyone any good in the relationship because as you age, there will be things about both men and women that will change that love can overcome. Today is all we have.
I had no idea games and sports were so important and could bring validation. My husband is obsessed with watching sports. I always viewed it as couch potato behavior or non productive. As a mom I'm always looking for what needs to be done around the house. There is no show that I could watch for hours that whole house will shut down for. Thank you for giving me another perspective on Games. I have learned a huge lesson today after 15 years of marriage 17 years together.
If he's not helping you around the house then that does need to be addressed. Maybe also have your downtime during the game but then afterwards, you both tackle the housework?
I need to learn to like sports.
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Just treat people the way you want to be treated and if you can’t you should stop dating.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Period
THISSSS video is EXCELLENT. A kindhearted, positive person makes a BIG DIFFERENCE. I treat ppl the way I want to be treated. Maturity and growth is EVERYTHINGGG. Respect is important. That spouse/love interest is a reflection of u. Disrespect and verbal abuse is unacceptable.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤
I agree with this list and RESPECT is definitely a must.
Women need to vet men and pay attention to a mans maturity level. Video games distract from reality, just like numerous things in society today. How many of these men are INVESTED in the companies that create the software and equipment for these games? I understand the comradery and recreation, but these video games are addictive and designed to be.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
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You see
when the right connection is not there, then that creates a whole lot of disrespect. Blessed love.
Thank you very much for this video. It was quite insightful. 🙏
7 things you should never tell/ask a man!
1) Why can't you be more like....so and so
2) You're not that strong.
3) It's just a game. (E.g. video games. It's not advisable to interrupt or argue about it whiles he's playing the game, talk about it after. This can cause resentment and friction in the relationship. )
4) You need to man up. (This can emasculate him in that moment. Attacks his manhood and shows disrespect in a blatant way.)
5) My ex used to do that too. (Creates a bad habit of looking at things through the lense of what others have done compared to what your new person is doing)
6) Am I fat? (You put him in an uncomfortable position. It's best not to ask this question if you're going to have doubts that his response was sincere, if you're going to feel insecure and can't handle it well)
7) Those condoms are too big for you.
Notes for the people who don't have the time to watch the whole video. I'd still suggest that people watch the whole video to gain more insight.
Thank You!!... Most Definitely Always Worth Watching To The End.
Thank you, this is helpful, I don’t have a lot of extra time so this really helps, I love his videos and agree that watching to the end is powerful but there are days that I just want to know right away! 😇
You're the MVP for this, thank you.
I couldn't stand listening to the end. Got to number 2 lol. Ta
🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you! I saw this too late and im still struggling from a comparison I made a year ago… it was innocent enough but did a lot of damage
❤ 🙏
I was told that his ex was his best friend, and they had a lot of interest. Things I have no interest in. That hurt me deeply, I felt like I was being compared. I just told him , I'm sorry I'm not her. In another conversation I did tell him that I don't have what I had. Meaning my late husband was always sensitive to my emotional needs. I also told him I wasn't trying to compare. But he is not there for me as I need. My late husband was all about me, and I miss that.
I had that very situation was compared so many times to someone he loved. I felt like he just wanted her not me, cause I can only be me.
There are two phrases that will make me leave a woman right after she says them.
And "Why can't you be more like my ex?" is one of them. Leaving her at that point isn't me being SENSITIVE. It's me being INTELLIGENT enough to override my emotional connection to her, cutting my losses, and finding a woman who wants me for me and isn't attempting to turn me into her ex. The other is: "A real man would - XYZ." Because at that point, she's questioning my manhood. If a woman questions your manhood, she won't respect you. And if she doesn't respect you...She will either leave you or use you untill she finds a man that she can. Leaving her isn't SENSITIVE. It's INTELLIGENT and in your best interest going forward in life.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Fasho big dawg. I appreciate your listening.
So true it is never good to ever compare your partners to anyone especially in a bad light especially to an ex. That is a no go.😂 Another great one Stephan, love it ! 🥰
Glad you love it and thank you for your response I appreciate your feedback
In all honesty as women we gotta check ourselves and heal.
As for me in my past I didn’t RESPECT MEN,
So unconsciously and consciously I have been disrespectful.
As I do the healing I got find out that in a subconscious level that it stems from childhood wounds.
Daddy issues.
Healing is a must.
Thank you for dropping 💎
❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
So good and true
I am going through this too. I needed to check myself for real. Thank you for sharing. It’s always nice to hear someone else is going through the same thing
My husband and I have been married 8 years and we rarely have real conversations. I wouldn't know how to begin to voice my concerns. This was very informative for me. Thank you.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
God bless you Stephan ! You are a true blessing in our lifes and as a woman I can assure you that I see little miracles everyday because of your wisdom and advices !
Thank you ❤️❤️
🙏 Glad I could help!
I was dating someone who was a widower. He had the audacity to say to me that his deceased wife would have catered a family gathering rather than cooking the dinner. He stated “….would have never done it like this”. I was ready to go back home on the next plane! The gathering was the next day. His son and I cooked the entire meal, including deserts. It was a huge hit.
He also wanted us to go every restaurant that he and his wife went, then he proceeded to state which table they sat. Then he wondered why I wouldn’t have him move in with me!
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
Wow, Respectfully that was his life with his Late Wife.....Maybe he didn't know how it would or could affect his current friendship with a person.....Peace Yall.
@@rozgordon6125 With no disrespect to his wife and to his relationship with his marriage, he was not able to see me for whom I am. I also was widowed and had a great marriage. But, I didn’t want his face in my husbands place. I encouraged him many times to seek help to grieve for her. It took me two years and many tears. I think the best way for me, in the end, to realize that I was in his life for a reason. And that thought is how spirituality works.
To all of you who date…see the person you are with, not the person you wish they were. I am enough ❤️
I’m very respectful & uplifting of my man .
If you ever see me belittling him you better believe it’s all-ready over in my head I really don’t do that .
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Respect for one another is crucial.
Treat others like you want to be treated🙏🏾🥰. Mindfulness
It's not about the game (on t.v. or a video game), it's about the down time. For a lot of people (male & female), it's a chance to unwind & decompress to relax; the opportunity to shift focus to something outside of the everyday responsibility matters that we can enjoy. We all need this opportunity, we all need breaks & "me time". That was a good topic to touch on.
8TH THING WE SHOULD NEVER TELL A MAN.......THAT WE WILL NEVER STOP LISTENING TO STEPHAN.....EVER!!!!
lol, 🙂 thank you!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks STEPH AS ALWAYS THANKS FOR YOUR HEART....
😂
This made me chuckle 🎉
@@McKenzie.flagstaffaz HAPPY NEW YEAR...YEAH I ALWAYS JOKE WITH STEPHAN..
Another great video, Stephan! Both men and women have to be mindful of the tone and timing of asking a question or making a criticism. You always break things down with good examples, Your engaging personality makes women receptive to your advice. I've shared your videos with friends. You're the BEST!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that 🙏
I love the way you had a genuine belly laugh at No7 , you lost it and that is so sexy when a man laughs without any reservations . You glowing with that smile 😊
❤ 🙂 Thank you!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Your welcome ❤️
I just come across your videos and I love them because you speak the truth and you don't speak for women alone but for both man what I understand in your videos is that you are trying to help us all in our relationships you are really teaching us a lot and I will learn a lot in your videos thanks a lot and God bless you 🙏
It's simple. Love is based upon respect. If a woman doesn't respect a man she really doesn't love him.
Most definitely!
SHE BETTER RESPECT HERSELF FIRST......!!
@@lindawojtas4491 Why are you so triggered. Please work with a therapist...
@@stevec3526
NOT TRUE...!
TOO MANY WOMEN..ARE IN TURMOIL OVER AND OVER IN BAD RELATIONSHIPS THESE DAYS...
THEY ARE LACKING IN SELF RESPECT....,
THERAPIST'S WOULD AGREE..😙😚
@@lindawojtas4491 Sounds like you really in need of a therapist. I wish you well.
Very good explanation and breakdown of why certain things that people are going to be tempted to express to a significant man are just not helpful and actually undermines the good rapport. There are more wise measures to respect and grow in a relationship. And if you are feeling like these things need to be said, then that’s your opportunity to consider if you are a good fit in the first place.
I must be a cultivated woman, because I would never say any of those things to the man I love, albeit, as complicated as our relationship is. But your right on point; I agree with everything you’ve said!
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Empathy and Respect especially when he is trying comparison is the thieve of Joy never compare your own self or someone else I've heard it and it hurts be like someone else Husband or Father they make you jump thru hoops. A Female can be condescending sometimes say anything without thinking I never try to put someone down Wife Children always positive. So I hope what I give is reciprocal.A good thing Ladies and Gentlemen think what comes out how it comes out when it comes out Have a prayerful spirit and don't follow after negative people and behavior won't get you any place People wonder why a relationship can't be sustained
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This is very informative. Love it. Thank you for this!
But first ladies, be sure you're dealing with a Man not a Man Child.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks You're welcome, bro. Keep it up! God bless you
Thank you for this video! I’m definitely guilty of the video game one and I am so happy you mentioned it because as a woman I never really realized how video games can be positive in that way for men. I would even go further to say that we should be supportive of our partners hobbies and interests, whether it’s video games, sports, etc and not just grudgingly accept it. I think that goes a long way and I still have learning to do but I know that when I show support and interest towards his interests, he is so appreciative of it, I become more attractive to him and he loves me more ❤️
💯👌Well said👍
The best way to put it is,he's at home playing video games so there's nothing to worry about he's not out there playing with other women
I do find excessively violent video games problematic, tho.
I forgot that it's possible to interact with other players though some video games, so there could be something else going on.
Id much rather my man playing video games than out getting in trouble or at strip clubs so if he wants to play games or watch sports then I’ll be right there hanging with him if he wants, or getting him a beer and just letting him be! Lol!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Be together having fun
Exactly, I wish I heard this two decades ago. You are correct. If a woman feels like building up and respecting isn’t going anywhere, than you gotta consider if you’re investing in a good investment in this particular person and relationship. Instead, I think I started to use the negative things and tried to set him straight. It of course didn’t work and kept me trapped in trying with someone not worthy. Worse yet, I didn’t like being that way. It’s not what I’m all about. Don’t let anyone else cause you to go there, right? No. Keep it as respectful and uplifting and lighthearted as you are.
Great! More pressure put on us women to make a man feel good about himself. I say this advice goes both ways.
Absolutely!
Unfortunately fell into one or some of these wrongs and our marriage ended. Looks as though his parts have been reattached and he’s back to superhero status apart from me. Learned these lessons the hard way but hearing you list these clearly - greatly appreciated! Keep doing your helpful work, Stephan.
factually! if a person can't say anything good about their partner they shouldn't say anything thing at all. Relationships should be about building each other up not tearing each other down.
Absolutely!
I was created to be a help mate. A helper. A supporter. An encourager. When I build him up, when I help his dreams come to be, however I can help, he is closer to me in relationship. And that makes me feel loved. Cherished. I'm happier by investing myself in making him happy.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I did all that, but was told I was not a good woman. 😂lol
Awesome vid! Thank you so much, Stephan. Always the best advice!
We need to accept men as they are. Men have huge egos, so women need to tread lightly knowing that. Insecure men that have been hurt by women in the past are especially sensitive to certain things. A lot of men will just walk away from even dealing with women because of past pain - as in the MGTOW movement.
Number seven was a no brainer. The way I see that is that if a woman really loves and cares for a man, size will not matter. She will love the whole person. "In sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth." Some people want everything to be perfect, all the time, and that is not realistic.
We have all been brainwashed by Hollywood and fairy tales.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
I was in the same difficulties before he helped me few days ago okay....
Contact Dr Wilson 🏃🏃
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Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.......
I wish I would “tread lightly” because a man has a huge or fragile ego 😂😂 most of them have no reason to have a huge ego! Their insecure selves need to do their healing! Not look for me to deal with their trauma, pain, addictions, etc. they need counseling
🙄 Yeah... You're only saying that" size will not matter" cuz you have had all the B!G ONES there could ever have, but should you be a woman who have saved herself for marriage you wouldn't want your husband to be just a " thumb size."
This is some really good points Stephen, we as women have to be extremely careful of what we say to our partners or men. They have feelings like we do; Encourage him, give him the fuel to stand up, inspire him that makes a big difference. Speak life into that man. You don't bring your ex up in your new relationship that's a slap in the face to the man you're involved with that you still have feelings for your ex: again this can cause a big problem!!!
Women don’t like to be compared to other women by their man either. My ex husband would always compare me to other women, specially the ones he was having an affair with…
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Oh really, He cut me I cut him 😡
He 😡Cheated on you. That's not a good Man.
Hmmmm, little do they know that you listen to them carefully
Glad he’s an Ex now. You did good my dear.
Honestly Stephan, I’ve said ALL of these things to a man before, and it wasn’t the good men with a few bad traits. I said it to the blatantly evil and narcissistic men that I was connected to that had no respect for me, and I in return lost respect for them lol, but I would never say them to a good man with a few flaws
Thank you.
You need better decision making skills.
@@rellbgm NEEDED. I’m no longer in any of these situations. This was in the past
EXACTLY 💯
One time I told my ex he wasn’t a man. The next day he told me it really hurt his feelings. I wish I would have seen this video while we were together. Because I said a lot of hurtful things while I was mad because he never showed emotion or feelings. Plus growing up I never seen men express hurt or sad feelings so I always treated men like they had no feelings. Your videos help me understand that they have feelings to..
Glad I could help 🙏
The sad part is they love acting like they have no feelings though but the most sensitive people on the planet
Being someone who had made those mistakes and lost someone really dear to me,those words hit hard.The kind of constructive pain w need
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤
I will never tell my man to be like my ex...I didn't deserve that toxic man.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you welcome ❤️
Great video..Words have the ability to build up or tear down. Often we forget just how powerful our words can affect others..Agree with all 7 points, especially comparison , that can really bring up feelings of not living up to someone's ideals or indirectly saying they are not good enough. Agree anything new needs to not resemble anything from the past. Comparison in a way is holding on to moments or memories that have not been relinquished, especially when it comes to an ex. The best thing to do is to build your partner up with love, concern, & embracing all of who he is without comparison. When you are really into him the others want compare regardless of the size of the package, tell me more about the size of his heart. Now, that's love. Thank you as always for your insightful video, blessings to you.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Your welcome, & I appreciate you & your quality content ❤
Well said my dear 💯
If I have to compare why am I not with the other person.
Absolutely!
You’re always on point with these videos 🙏🏾 Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
My pleasure ❤
Why is it that men will punch below the belt but when we strike back it's the end of the world .. I don't get it
Instead of battling video games with hubby and kids, I embraced it with them and found games I was interested in which led me down the path of 2 months research and building a Desktop Gaming PC that also doubled as being useful for Content/Video Creation and Music Production that my husband does. Although I still play less then them, I do find the relief from the stresses of life, and respect the times when he does play. Win win!
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Appreciate the delivery here; I'm listening, I'm learning, thank you.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Can someone please list the 7 things not to say to a man out?
1. Why can't you be more like _____?
2. You're not that strong.
3. It's just a game.
4. You need to man up.
4a. You're acting like a little b***h.
5. My ex used to do that too.
6. Am I fat?
7. Those condoms are too big for you.
shes been saying these small things for like a week before our fight and well the breakup she even blamed me for ruining our relationship saying i was "too soft" , and you are correct she might not have viewed what she was saying as a huge deal but for me it really hit hard, i never once cussed her out or anything before the fight..
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Men need to conquer stuff. That makes perfect sense! Never have I ever been able to figure this out and I have never heard anyone discern that before about a man. That is so very helpful! I'm going to tell every woman I know the best I can.
It does make sense that it hits the very nature of how man is created. So the presumed addiction is the desire to conquer which is actually a good thing if translated into the real world. Any habit has to be balanced like any other pleasure, surely. But this takes it out of the competition for his time and attention Lane in my view. As long as he does the math on his times just like any computer endeavor, Electronics just suck away your life if not monitored no matter what the age. I can see that would be a relief to win in something on some days. Just not while the baby has been crying and Mom is over the edge after dealing with the home environment all day. Or the work environment and then the home environment all night. Just a couple's balancing thing to get some me time. I can see video games now are relaxing, like after a good workout kind of relaxing, that relieves the stress of the day. Wow. Seriously...so.good. I believe this video can bring peace to many a household if both parties take it seriously! Thank you! Just a suggestion but maybe add a label or release it under a different title and address how to get your man's attention at home or why does a man play video games so much or it's not about you it's about the Conquering, titles like that. Keep God happy and be blessed!
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Honestly I’ve never talked to a man like this but I realized I’ve had a man talk to me like this. You didn’t miss
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Hello Mr. Stephan Speaks! I just wanted you to know I’ve been watching your videos and I must say I appreciate you! Your videos are changing my life. At 55yrs old you are teaching me how to not only identify with whether a man is interested or whether he loves me but also for me to examine my own feelings towards him. And that men are broken too and needs self healing. Thank you MOG for your inspirational insight and clarity on relationships.
My pleasure ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks what is your IG?
I think telling him I LOVE TOO soon will make him run or stay. I’ve learned no man is going to be like my dad. My dad was more than a true man. So, if you had a positive dad in your life-don’t say I wish you were like my dad. Lol.
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I was thinking this , my dad is amazing, married to my mom for almost 40 years … hard not to look for traits of him
I have very high standards. There are no compromises. Minor mistakes I will forgive and let go. All of my expectations I share with him from the start. So if he's honest, he will know whether he has the quality or not. Leave me if you're not...the one!! !! But his ego will keep him there. We will get absolutely nowhere if I spot major red flags, a Narcissist or con-artisit. Those are so easy to dismiss.
I have said all the above, except for #7, to a previous love interest.. resulting in a lot of moping on his part and me, trying to backtrack with mitigated success. I have learned the hard way and although I did not mean to be harmful, I have created more hurt and distrust than necessary. We split after 8 years and are still friends, although platonic. We are now able to joke about my ill statements.... but I will never make those mistakes again!
Not only men do not like to be compared
Also women do not like to be compared...
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Don’t speak out of anger, when your angry go off by yourself if you have to for a few or until calmed down then speak and talk to them. Makes a big difference. Ppl say a lot of horrible things when thei mad
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that.
Newly subscribed and really enjoying your content mate. Can I just say your hair and beard is awesome !
I really think considering what we say before we say it is undervalued in today's society. This 'sticks and stones ' attitude is as unsophisticated as its playground origins.
I think it's good for all of us as individuals to work towards having an unconquerable sense of value independent of others' opinions so that whatever is said or happens to us can't shake our inner peace as it were ( you can't control everything that happens to you but you are in control of how you respond to it) however this shouldn't be an excuse for unkindness, cruelty, thoughtlessness or indeed be used to intentionally undermine people.
Saying ' I'm just being honest' hides a multitude of sins. Some Bhuddist teachers tells us we should let go of our ego completely but The Noble Eightfold Path reminds us of the the importance of mindfulness in our speech. We should speak mindfully so that our speech is useful and purposefull and gives rise to happiness in oneself and others.
Welcome aboard and thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
You're keeping it 💯 with us! I'm learning and unlearning from all your videos. I wish I found your channel way back. Thanks Stephan.
I'm happy that the videos have been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
I strongly agree I also believe it goes for men and women in a relationship because my relationship now is my first healthy relationship and my boyfriend have said one or two times in nine months that hurt my feelings even though he was sharing his feelings he used the wrong words and I explained to him that he don't have to use hurtful words he can express his self in a loving kind caring way I also told him that once he put it out there he can't take it back whether or not we dwell on it it still has been said and the other partner will never forget it
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Sensitive men don’t like comparisons they need to be free to be free ! Constructive criticisms is constructive not painful . You’re on the money here !
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Always be nice and kind no matter who it is, a friend or stranger or potential mate. Kindness always!
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that. Thank you for sharing ❤
thank you for the upload guidance for the new year. abundant blessingz to you and all that do🙋🏽♀️
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌 and may you receive abundant blessings to you and all that you do as well 🙏
Ouch! It's like the issue of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, Amber Heard will say Her reaction to that was she was in disbelief and sort of disgust because she said, ‘Dior, why would Dior want to do business with you? They are about class and they are about style and you don’t have style.’
“It was insulting. Taking away that one moment, that insult is there.” not all woman are the victim of emotional damage. Men too 😢
You're absolutely right men are also victims of emotional damage. Thank you for sharing ❤
Don't forget she also called him an old fat man. I share Amber's initials and am EXACTLY 7 months younger than her and I couldn't IMAGINE speaking to or doing to any person, man or woman, the things she did to her own husband. It's despicable and disgusting on every level.
I felt this right here!!! Thank You Lord for second, third, fourth and tenth chances!!
🙏
thank u for blessing us so promptly within the new year with your guidance & insight. abundant blessingz to you n’ all that u do. PS the volume is much lower than any of your uploads.
Noted and thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤
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