As a Scottish type 4 I found it surprising to hear so many non-4s want to be a 4…I struggled to accept I was a 4 and was sure I was a 1 then 2 then 3 then maybe 5 until I just had to be honest and accept I was a 4. In my culture there is a lot of shame attached to being a 4 - grief and sadness are to be swallowed and ignored and individualism, aesthetic purity, beauty are seen as vanity and pretentious. I definitely had to lean into my 3 wing to be accepted that I would burn out a lot just from not being authentic and struggling to do 3 as a 4 which was incredibly intense and exhausting. I also had to satisfy my type 1 mother and type 9 father by shutting down strong emotions and following their ways which was suffocating. There is a lot of joy in being a 4 in health and acceptance but so much pain before reaching that point I’m not sure why anyone would want that…even if secretly I know I would never want to be anything else. I also resonate a lot with difficulties living in the world…I have said many times that I don’t know how to be a normal person…all that human doing is alien to me. I love the way you teach the enneagram Russ…you and Richard Rohr showed me the essential qualities and energy of the types and that helps a lot because personality-wise we can wear many masks due to culture and family contexts as well as gender etc. but we wear them in a way particular to our type which is important to understand.
The most helpful description of a 4 I have experienced. Feeling relief as I hear it being described in this way. The shadow and light of it, it really resonates and offers new lenses. Thank you Russ!!
Thank you for this series of videos. I’m finding them very helpful in learning more depth within the Enneagram. I hope you will keep making more! I love the Enneagram!
As a Scottish type 4 I found it surprising to hear so many non-4s want to be a 4…I struggled to accept I was a 4 and was sure I was a 1 then 2 then 3 then maybe 5 until I just had to be honest and accept I was a 4. In my culture there is a lot of shame attached to being a 4 - grief and sadness are to be swallowed and ignored and individualism, aesthetic purity, beauty are seen as vanity and pretentious. I definitely had to lean into my 3 wing to be accepted that I would burn out a lot just from not being authentic and struggling to do 3 as a 4 which was incredibly intense and exhausting. I also had to satisfy my type 1 mother and type 9 father by shutting down strong emotions and following their ways which was suffocating. There is a lot of joy in being a 4 in health and acceptance but so much pain before reaching that point I’m not sure why anyone would want that…even if secretly I know I would never want to be anything else. I also resonate a lot with difficulties living in the world…I have said many times that I don’t know how to be a normal person…all that human doing is alien to me. I love the way you teach the enneagram Russ…you and Richard Rohr showed me the essential qualities and energy of the types and that helps a lot because personality-wise we can wear many masks due to culture and family contexts as well as gender etc. but we wear them in a way particular to our type which is important to understand.
Exactly. It's tough being a type 4, more so in a environment which do not accomodate our sensitivities and feelings.
The most helpful description of a 4 I have experienced. Feeling relief as I hear it being described in this way. The shadow and light of it, it really resonates and offers new lenses. Thank you Russ!!
Thank you for this series of videos. I’m finding them very helpful in learning more depth within the Enneagram. I hope you will keep making more! I love the Enneagram!
Hi, we have a short stand alone paid series that you can register for here: awakenedcompany.com/enneagram-courses-awakened-company/. Please join us.