A lot of people think this man is insensitive, but as someone with terrible ADHD he describes someone with ADHD spot on. He’s not being critical he’s just explaining his studies.
Agreed 100% I’ve been begging the UK NHS for help. And the wait time to even see a psychiatrist is 2 years!!!! It’s heart breaking. My life has fallen apart from the upheaval of Covid. My fiancée left me and I can’t get help.
I have adhd. The way this man speaks is easy to follow and remember. It is not negative, simply direct. Which is why I follow it and memorise it so easily.
@@variyasalo2581 He does, and it does explain why he interprets ADHD symptoms in terms of the worst-case scenario. He obviously has real and serious grief about his brother and this is both good for us because it means he doesn't overestimate the capabilities of people with ADHD and bad for us because his estimates of ADHDers are set at the lower bound because his brother seemed to have been dealing with not only ADHD but also significant addictive personality traits.
THIS. This is how I wish I’d been spoken to about my adhd. This guy, if his knowledge or attitude had been anywhere near me, would have changed my life. Brilliant.
That's EXACTLY what I thought! 😢 . It sounds like a description of my life... I wish my parents could have realised what he's saying at some point of my upbringing. My life would literally have been different
If any of this is painful to read. keep in mind his brother died from driving and had ADHD. Dr. Russell Barkley has clearly dedicated his life to studying and treating people with this ailment. I have nothing respect for this man.
He is not giving a counseling session , he is giving a lecture which is a totally different way of presenting information. People are coming to hear how ADHD impairs individuals.
That puts a different spin on his thinking that young people with ADHD should not drive, BREAKocean. I have ADD and thought that extreme. In my city, a distracted driving ticket holds a similar weight to a DUI.
I love how he doesn't dance around the point. In the comments I see some people who say he's being too negative. But I don't see it that way at all. He shows what science finds, without trying to please anyones ego. Especially this part of the talk reminds me why I have to keep trying. Not let my unmotivated, procrastinating side win over. For me it is highly motivational to hear my problems reflected in actual science. If you listen to the whole talk, that's 3 hours I think, you will hear him give some GOLDEN advice for handling those problems, too. So maybe give it a chance, even if you don't like what you are hearing.
The first time I watched a video of one of his lectures it kind pissed me off. I felt like he was being very negative and almost condescending. He kept saying “They can’t do this.” And “they can’t do that.” But after watching more i realized he is actually very sympathetic. I think he uses that negative language partly because so many of us with ADHD have heard “well if you can pay attention to X then you can pay attention to Y.” So then we try to pay attention to Y but fail and it feels like a personal failing rather than as the effect of a disability. I think his language emphasizes that that attitude will continue to fail, and that we need to find other ways to manage it rather than just hoping that the next time we try it’ll turn out differently.
@@Briansawilddowner Also, I think it gets overshadowed, that this is a talk for parents, doctors and other caretakers. He is trying to break those people out of unrealistic expectations. I think at some point he actually addresses the crowd like 'If you don't get it and expect unrealistic stuff from the kid you become my problem' or something like that. It's some time ago that I listened to the talk. So actually he's strongly advocating for the ADHDers.
@SuperTrader Mikey Very true! I can't really handle work and household stuff and relationships all at once on an acceptable level. And keeping up the scaffolding sometimes feels like too much work on its own, even if it keeps me functioning. Aah... Life...
You obviously did not watch the whole thing or you would know he is in favor of you getting your ass whipped. More consequences and accountability for ADHD kids, is what he said.
This man is the best speaker ever. It's flawless, even-paced, never getting stuck on a word, never uttering 'uhmm', same volume level throughout. No distractions, good quality voice. I can listen all day. The content is very helpful. Thank you sir for your service to the ADHD community.
I've just been diagnosed with ADHD 2 weeks ago, I'm 67. Oh how I wish I could have had someone in my life as understanding as this man. It breaks my heart to think "what could I have been" with the proper help earlier in my life. More help and less judgement is far more helpful. At last I am beginning to understand and forgive myself.
I totally relate to your comment. I've just been diagnosed at 58 years old. Also ASD. My body is very broken down now, so I don't look forward to much. I do feel very sad about not having been able to do the things in life I wanted to, or have a decent relationship, and after trying so hard to be a good and decent person, and live in community, I find myself completely alone. But I'm so glad to finally know why at least, although it doesn't fix anything, and I'm too old really to have those things, there's something to be very grateful for when you listen to someone like Dr Barkly, or other late diagnosed women, and finally all those pennies drop, and you know, finally, why things have turned out as they have. At least before I die I can have more understanding of myself and more compassion for myself.
Oh Goodness ... Your comment really touched me 😢. I've just been diagnosed at 57 & coming to terms with the overwhelm of it all🤦🏼♀️. I have yet to find another person my age to talk to who's in the same situation & around the same age. It's a Very Lonely, Sad, Frustrating & Heartbreaking situation I find myself in. With the Absolute Relief of diagnosis & discovering I'm NOT all the terrible things I've been labelled as by others, even more devastatingly my own inner dialogue & battles re my ISSUES is the Struggle of now needing to learn how to deal, cope, manage & try to make my day to day life easier. I'm so sad for ALL the things that could have gone differently if I'd have only known this earlier. Truthfully ... It's a hell of a rollercoaster ride & I wanna get off !!!! I wish you all the best on your journey & just wanted you to know that your comment REALLY Helped me. Thank You 🥰
This man has really dedicated his life to the studies of our brains and is advocating for us. His lectures are amazing and you can feel how personal this disorder hits home for him in the way he speaks about his twin brother.
I do really feel that his brother's situation - and I strongly empathize with his grief, it is terrible to lose a sibling so young in life - is something that colors his view of ADHD, no matter how much he rationalizes it. It's hard for someone to go through an intensely personal loss like a sibling, especially a twin sibling, to feel that that loss had a primary cause (rightly or wrongly) that is a condition that you have spent much of your time and effort studying, and not present that condition in that light. But at the same time, he is a very hard listen because it seems as though he is of the opinion, colored by his brother's struggles and death, that people with ADHD are hopeless cases without strict medicalization, that we are INCAPABLE of caring for ourselves and others, and that we are completely unaware of ourselves.
I got the opportunity to see Dr. Barkley in person in St. Louis, MO during a 2-day workshop. He is fascinating to listen to and as an ADHD person, I was able to focus on his presentation the entire 2 days without distractibility. Now, that's a gift!
I'm 39, never diagnosed with ADHD, however the more I look into it the more I get a picture of why I am who I am. But I always feel trapped and unable to seek help or get a diagnosis. Around 6 months ago I really began thinking that my mental health problems could be down to ADHD. Before that I was diagnosed with depression some 15 years prior, but never found that the drugs worked, they just made me feel more agitated. My Dad told me that he thinks he have Autism, and more recently saying that one of my primary school teachers thought so too. My Mum also thinks that way. This put me on a path where I thought it could be Asperger's, and that may well be a factor, I have huge issues in social settings, never quite knowing what to say and my brain just locking up so to speak. ADHD on the other hand seems to fit as a descriptor for my mental condition so incredibly well I find it hard to find ways to deny it. Overweight, jobless, poor dental hygiene, impulsive, zero sleep pattern, poor money management, no natural gas due to missed payments (means no hot water on tap), and so on. Honestly makes me angry and upset that all this time I've not been getting the help I so desperately need.
Autism and ADHD affect the same part of our brain. It's possible to have both and I know people including my husband who has Asperger's aka high functioning autism and also has ADHD behaviours too. The symptoms are similar but they are distinctly different diagnoses. Joining a local support group for people with HFA/ADHD helped us to learn more about ourselves as well as ways to adapt our lives to the way our brains process information. I have ADHD with shades of autistic behaviour. I was an odd child. I liked being alone and still prefer lots of alone time. They say I was like a little adult and preferred adult company than my own age group. We are all different even on the spectrum. What matters most is self acceptance and self respect. Being able to love and care for ourselves and not expecting others too. Everyone in the whole world struggles with something so I see that as something that connects us all.
my friend just mentioned this to me. Reading your summary, I thought you were talking about me. Now I want to find out, I hope I can afford the treatment
As a women who’s struggled ADHD since being diagnosed with it since middle school, I absolutely am aware that my untreated behavior has been getting worse with years going by. I have taken action by my own in learning more about my diagnosis and helping myself with videos like these that make me aware of what can happen in the long run and what are happening in my daily life now. Glad to have peace of mind that I’m not the only one who worries about themselves. I’m trying really hard. I’m very glad there’s people who take time/years researching about ADHD a huge respect towards them all. xoxo
I know that for people with ADHD this might be hard to listen to- disheartening. But it is good that he's talking about these statistics because then lawmakers can see the facts and KNOW that people with ADHD need help and might put more funds into them getting it. So many people struggle all their lives where at least teachers should have noticed the signs. Teachers and health-care professionals needs to be more educated in what ADHD looks like- so a person doesn't need to go untreated far into their adult life.
Honestly, as someone who has ADHD, I am grateful for how straightforward he is being. It lets me know that no, my disorder really is as bad as I think and I am right to get treatment for it, that I'm not faking.
@@Ignasimp I think being able to raise concerns on common developmental disorders should be something teachers should be able to do- I'm not suggesting being able to pinpoint a diagnosis but notice concerning behavior that affect the child's schoolwork or relationship with other students. Then report it to somebody more fit to do something about these concerns.
@@Toyon95 yeah, and i agree with that, to some degree. That's why i'm watching this videos precisely. The thing is we are being forced to do plenty of things that are not our jobs and then blamed for not doing it perfectly. And the information is not avaliable anywhere. I'm lucky enough to have a good English level and a thirst for knowledge, but this information right here wasn't easy to come by, at all. And now I need to find other high quality videos on all the other mental disorders? XD if anyone knows were to find that i'd be thankful! I was even thinking of doing a master's degree on neuropsicology and education. But then when reading about the subjects and the content there is plenty of pseudoscience there. How can i even trust the oficial sources when that happens?
If I had found this man's work before I hit 32 and my life was falling to bits and I'd learnt properly about my adhd I think I might have faired better.
So I’ve been on medication since I was 22 (I’m 44 now and still alive) and therapy since. What I can say about this video is that he is so spot on. Cheating is a gray area off medication but the moment I got on the right medication (13 failed, got on desoxyn and now recently changed due to the shortage, Vyvanse 70 mg), it was like my brain grew up. Without medication, it’s impossible to thrive due to deficiency of norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain, one that keeps you alert and focused and the other helps emotion. Nicotine does help more than coffee but if you have ADHD you either smoke or vape or drink a lot of coffee or whatever fits in your hyper focused activity. I was self medicating with meth before medication and haven’t touched hard drugs in 22 years. Exercise and proper sleep schedule (if possible) will help shift focus away to other coping mechanisms to hyper focus of a healthy lifestyle. But medication must be used with ongoing therapy because it won’t solve the problem. I’m glad I stumbled upon this video. Everything he’s saying is true. I even almost died from sepsis and heart disease runs in my family and now I know why. There’s no coincidences in life. If you have it, get treated. It’s not a stigma anymore. It’s not bad medicine or speed. It’s medication and wanting to thrive. My twins were just diagnosed with ADHD (6 years old) and it’s been such a ride with all the meetings with school. One boy and one girl. So if you’re a parent reading this, get your kids on meds. They have better options now than 20 years ago and kids with ADHD on medication will get A’s and become honors students. I was able to take calculus and passed! Without medication, it’s all nonsense. Anyone else have kids with ADHD? How are you managing?
I love this man. I would be the happiest person having him as my therapist. Even listening to his lectures with interesting studies is my kind of therapy
I love the way Mr Barkley explains the symptoms of ADHD. Especially the driving, it's a miracle of God that I didn't seriously hurt someone. I'm 60 years of age. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. I've been sober since 95 ODAAT 12 step programme and good sponsorship. But I felt there was something still not right with me. I was diagnosed by way of the Barkley scale from the Maudsley hospital London 👍💯🇬🇧
Absolutely. Even though I meant to be responsible I messed up & eventually ended up bankrupt. Lot had to do with low income but I should have known better.
I'm so glad I quit smoking, alcohol, went Vegan and cycle a lot. It's not improved the presentation of my ADH Spectra, but Bloody Hell, it's kept the rest of my body on form. My life expectancy hasn't gotten any worse. Now I've got to learn to get my dental health on track. 😌
I'm ADHD and I chose to never have children from the time I was a child. I'm 45 1/2 now and believe it was the best decision I ever made. Children deserve good parents and I know I wouldn't be a good one.
I agree. I have 4 kids and have passes on trauma to them because of my adhd and autism traits. It doesn't help that they have it too. I love my kids but they don't seem to understand my love language. I have RSD and PDA too which makes my interactions with people and the behaviours I exhibit. I don't wish that I didn't have my kids, they are amazing, but I wish I could have been a better parent. I'm sure my mum had the same conditions but I didn't realise until after her death. We had a terrible relationship and I didn't speak to her for the last 5 years of her life. ADHD and autism need to be taken more seriously as it ruins lives.
Sadly I agree. Seeing how my ADHD has not given my son a responsible road map for life. Though not diagnosed he seems to have many of the characteristics of ADHD.
@@keilana6 so many parents feel guilty about what ttheir adhd kids have experienced life but given that 79% of adhd is genetic (apparently), most of those parents are also struggling and are also trying to teach their kids to be NT so thet they avoid the same issues that have faced but if they couldn't do it themselves how can they teach their ND kids. We tend to accept our kids more of we are ND but we so desperately want to protect them. Society has to change, not us
For an adhd person, Mr. Russell's speeches are glistening through my brain like hot knife through butter. He is so coherent, and eloquent, and the pace he speaks at is so appeasing... Definitely my favourite lectures ever. I cannot get enough of them
As a mother of a child with ADHD, and a wife of a husband with it as well. He is a major source of my sanity, and my ability to "manage" my home effectively by knowing what allowances to make and how to work within everyone's ability.
I needed to have self discipline to NOT read for pleasure as a child. CONSTANTLY! It was my escape from the problems caused by my inability to self regulate.
I did that too as a child. I would rather read than play. I still do it now at 51. I will read a novel over doing housework or anything else. I will justify it to myself, just one more chapter and I will do the dishes etc. Before I know it it is 2am and I have finished the book.
@@TheFaro2011 True! Like now you mean? 😂 I moved house recently and found loads of old books, thought, I must read some. What am I doing? Scrolling through RUclips 🤦♀️
As you watch these videos and this one in particular, it brings you to tears as he is, in so many ways, is describing your life. Thank God I don't have driving or drugs issues other than (sugar).
I have been tested and been banned in the Netherlands to get a driver's license if I am not medicated. Due to these videos I am much more understanding about this decision.
I am 51 and diagnosed 2 years ago. When I first watched this man 2 years ago, I found him grating but 2 years later, I realise how people do not take my diagnosis seriously compared to my sons autism. I now know, how seriously ADHD has effected me and continues to do so, so kudos to him.
Such a great speaker - fast tempo, knowledgeable, data-specific, some laughs, regularly coming back to the reason why this finding is important - actually easy for ADHD listener to follow, thank you
Safe Driving tips for ADHDers: 0) Cycling - It will make the importance of safe driving much more salient if you've spent some time as a cyclist. Also, exercise raises ambient dopamine levels. 1) Systematize & Self-talk - Have explicit systems for scanning your mirrors and restoring your focus to the task at hand. Mumble under your breath things like "Scan left mirror: empty. Return to Front. Onramp: Check for merging cars." 2) Wide-angle rear-view mirror - You can increase the ability to notice things to your right for $10 (or £10 to notice things on the left). 3) Audio *without* visual imagery - You want the mental stimulation but *don't* want something that pulls at your visual working memory. If you love maps, *don't* listen to descriptions of military campaigns which mention rivers or cities. If you can read and visualize music, *don't* listen to music. 4) Quick pausing by voice of any audio. If you have friends, then make it explicit that when you ask them to pause, it is an expression of how much you care for their safety.
My sister and I were both diagnosed within two years of each other in adulthood without the other knowing. My mother had my sister when she was 17 and my sister had her first child at 18. A lot of what Dr. Barkley says is spot on with my family...Even down to taking the car out before being licensed for a joy ride when nobody was home.
I've only got 29 open but they're almost all half finished RUclips videos that I'm intending to watch but know I won't because I hardly finish anything ever
In some ways, this makes me want to cry, Alexander Marohnic. I am like this too. On the other hand, I sure know a little about a lot of things. I wonder if "polymath" is another name for ADD?
I've been married for 29 years, but luckily enough I have a very understanding husband. His patience with me is absolutely unbelievable. It hasn't been easy, but I went into therapy for ten years, and combined with medications I'm better than ever. I hope everything turns out well for you. 💙
My husband has it, and is on meds for it. But, he doesn't learn about it, or do the behavior therapy. I've been as patient as I can, but it's absolutely worn me to shreds. The chaos, the anger, impulsivity, breaking things, and my needs not getting met have caused me a lot of personal pain. He doesn't consider what I need as a spouse, and we've lived like separate people. It's been damaging to my self esteem while he continues staying in denial of ADHD symptoms. I don't nag him about this, and never have. But, this is why I learn on sites like this, it helps.
Anyone else listening to this while finishing off assignments? I find this man the most stimulating conversationalist and the best background study "sound".
I wanted to scream at my first job when before I left, I asked my project manager to give me general advice to go on with life. And he said “follow through what you said you’re going to do”. I wanted to ask him so badly to give me a specific example because I made an extraordinary effort everyday to follow through what I said I was going to do. To hear him say that, not knowing what I did to offend him, hurt me so much because I always write things that, cross things out and finish the task. It’s like I want to scream “I don’t even know what I didn’t do”. It’s one thing if it’s on purpose and I just wanted to be an asshole. But it wasn’t. It’s me trying so hard everyday to be as normal as everyone else
I dont drive so none of the driving symptoms catch me, but this is why I dont drive. I'm deathly afraid of it. When I'm walking down the street I space in thought. Im afraid of that happening to me in a car.
This is the best described and most depressed lecture I have ever looked at. I really feel that my life sucks even harder now. I wished adhd was more known when I was a kid not now as an adult.
I consider myself to be an extremely skilled driver, never had an accident in 24 years of driving. I don't consider myself to be very skilled at much else. My dad would take me driving from childhood. I love driving, going quickly, hugging the apex, properly accelerating to get onto the highway, predicting what is going to happen in other lanes, parallel parking, etc., but I am extremely impatient, and get serious serious road rage because I view 90% of other drivers as being incompetent, slow, inconsiderate, not spatially aware, and in my way. They cause unnecessary traffic jams, they brake when they do not need to, they don't make full use of the merge lane to get up to speed, they sit in the fast lane impeding traffic, they're scared to change lanes or believe it is dangerous, the list goes on. I suspect a lot of this comes from overly cautious driving instructors and lack of practice. I'm very pigheaded about this issue and I think I should have been an F1 driver lol...
They war he talks is so easy to understand. I can listen to him talking about the scientific sides of ADHD for hours. I’m glad we have people like him in this world. Thank you, Sir!
I am wide-eyed at how much is we myself and my family in this detailed and comprehensive description. I would be the first in my family realise the major effects of ADHD. I cannot praise Dr Barkley enough for all the work he is doing. This has changed my whole world and my family’s future
Dr. Russell Barkley is an absolute ADHD treasure. He is consistently on the frontline of ADHD research, fighting to spread awareness of the facts. It's also unreal, how the descriptions he lays out correlate with me like 90%. It's like he is describing, specifically ME, up there. It is effing BONKERS. Frankly, it's almost disturbing, just how much can be described about a person without even knowing them. 😬
That example is poor one. It is WNL for an individual to be enthusiastic about a newly discovered data and want to take advantage of an opportunity to talk such a hi- level researcher. IMO, it is a burden of the recipient to politely big off not the enthusiastic learner sensing a golden' opportunity.
I've been married 3 times (on third and final marriage now) first child at 18, second at 20. Divorced by 21. Married again at age 28, had 2 kids, divorced at the age of 32. Met my currsnt husband at age 33, he was 22. We got married 6 years after we got together, have been together all up 12 years and have 1 child together. He pays the bills because i will put them in a drawer or ignore emails. He is my rock. My best friend is 14 years younger. I think that we are younger in the brain. I definitely don't feel like a grown up
This Teacher is hitting quite a few points I have found myself in his Talks with us. He has been there and done that. Or, he has worked and studied ADHD patience’s. I could and do listen to his Talk all the time. I need to learn so much as to how to apply myself to helping myself being medicated for the ADHD I have. Not to forget I am older now, 53!
I actually highly appreciate how he explains and validates how adhd can cause such chaos in yr life and highly effects yr self worth rather than the usual dismissive comments of how significantly it impacts yr life because u allow it to by using it as yr excuse for yr slackness .. ouch !! Now that’s a hard one to swallow when yr struggling to function and hating that yr not seeming to be capable of doing what seems so easy for everyone else. It’s embarrassingly, frustrating, and constant. It makes u hurt people unintentionally and presents laziness, selfishness or just an excuse u use to dismiss what a hopeless misfit you are so there’s absolutely no glamour in that believe me.
Every single thing he said apart from teenage pregnancy (I have reason for why that didn't happen) I can absolutely 100% relate too. My insurance is through the roof.
I have adult ADHD. I think Dr. Barkley is amazing. I sought help for years but because I didn't show hyperactivity and presented well, even though I told therapists about my history, my life failures, my current life issues, no one took me seriously. It had to get very bad.
I’m so happy I found this. Thank you so much for all of your research and hard work. This gave me a lot of tools on how to understand and support my partner and his ADHD, coping, tendencies and social interactions. I’m sorry about your twin brother. Many blessings to you and your loved ones, peers and research staff.
I'd love to take your driving test, only a few speeding tickets in my life, only accidents I've been in, I was hit while stopped and not my fault. I actually predict other drivers behavior very well. I'm hyper aware while driving.
This man describes remarkably well every single problem that I encountered in my life. The worst about this disease is that since it's my daily reality since I can think, that this is normal. And that every failure is rooted in me being lazy and dumb. I am not absolving myself from anything. I could have researched this way more intensely and way earlier to find a solution. But I deluded myself into believing that this is how it is and I just have to try harder. But all I did with that is just avoiding the necessary steps for years. Again the worst thing about this sickness is your own inability to see it as such.
This is the best ADHD information I have ever seen after 20 years of raising two kids and a husband with ADHD. Husband is now IT manager of a major mining firm with a team of twenty, so there is hope for you all! Children doing acting and film making
*I forgot when 8 o'clock was* Trying to explain this to someone who just understands time is one of the most difficult and patronizing things I've ever tried to do. It just looks like you don't care to everyone else.
I usually have to rewind so many times then I give up, I kind of forget I was watching it then go back to it, so many half watched videos. This is one I intend to go back to, it seems very interesting 🤔
All I need is ADHD being treated again and my whole life is transformed. It’s nottrauma, sadness or anything like that, it’s Functioning and moving forwards again .
i've accidentally shoplifted before. When I was a little kid, I took some toys for birthday gift bags, and I straight up forgot to bring it out to pay for it once I left the store with my mom. I felt so bad afterwards that I kept asking to go back to the store so I could pay for them.
33, diagnosed ADHD Combined Type this year. My brother and this man are responsible for me learning about it and getting me to treat it. Well, there's also autism in there too, as my psychologist suspects it. But still!
I have adhd and autism. I really struggle to judge distance when driving. I have to slow down if cars are coming the other way or on motorways in order to feel safe and in control. I hate driving, it makes me so stressed and scared. It limits my life a lot as I rarely drive anywhere unless I have to. I moved to Scotland so I could enjoy the beautiful countryside but I'm too scared to drive anywhere. I am a ridiculously cautious driver because I know I struggle. I do wonder if taking adhd meds when driving would help
It's so true for me about realisation at a later age (early 40s). It's a time where taking stock and realising where you are in life (versus where you ought to be) is unavoidable. Although I'd completed my art degree and had a relatively successful career as a graphic designer I had not been able to actually use my natural talents and progress to an Art Director role because I was also struggling with my symptoms (I had to scrape by, work through the night to meet deadlines, hide my messiness and lack of organisation, redo jobs because I didn't take in and retain all the info etc). Personal life was also a disaster: bad debts, terrible credit rating, impulsively moving home, no savings, broken relationships, an affair, an abusive relationship, abortions, drug abuse... just a great big mess. I nicknamed myself 'Calamitys Child' I wish I was diagnosed sooner
I so relate to your comment. I am a 51-year-old obstetrician gynecologist, who just got diagnosed. It is difficult to confront what untreated ADHD has cost me in my life. So it comes with a wave of fear and regret and what if…. that just crashes over you. Next comes a comforting wave of relief that you now understand. You have believed for so long that you were just broken and incapable. In this relief, you can confront those beliefs for the lies that they are, and learn to tell yourself a new story. Brace yourself, because next comes away with fear and anxiety about the future. Because now that you know, you need to do the work to learn how to live with it, so that you change the course of your life going forward, no matter what happened back there. It’s just the wake of the boat. Don’t get trapped into thinking that it drives the boat. Go take the wheel. It’s terrifying because when you do so, you’ll have to look at where your boat has travelled while you were lost in the wake and actually take some steps in the direction of taking your life where you actually want it to go. In this way, the diagnosis of ADHD is a gift, even if you had to traverse all those nasty rapids to find it. Much love.
My daughter and my mother always told me i was adhd and should medicate. Yet I am a great driver no accidents over decades no road rage 2 speeding tickets with extrodinary and exacrting reflexes, i dont have these kinds of impulse control issues unless i drink. Thos is exactly why i dont care for such a diagnosis because according to your research and as soon as the industry takes advantage of what you are saying my insurance would go up despite that i dont display those particular symptoms.
He is great. Im 45 and just recently got finally diagnosed with ADHD. Till recently even the psychotherapist could not accept/didnt want to discuss at all my "claims" for ADHD. I feel relieved but also a bit sad
Cannabis isn't for coping with life's problems. Cannabis helps with what you have described as the main problem of ADHD, which is the suppression of emotions.
I've tried medical cannabis. I talked my bloody head off for 2 hours. I was so pinged, I never want to attempt it again. I feel sorry for the person who's eat I chewed off. Also I would crack a joke that was twisted so much it have 3 (or more) hilarious possible outcomes. Only my daughter laughed because she understands me and also is of the tribe. I was so exhausted by the end of the night. Not to mention a little embarrassed.
A good/ related book is Rosenberg's: Non Violent Communication. the doctor says very little about ADDHD personS self-talk a subject so critical to this issue.
My adhd husband got a perfect score on his driving test as a teen. He boasts about this but his driving is reckless. I think he likes the challenge to concentrate when driving fast. Also, he is competitive with driving. It's hard to ride with him. It doesn't matter how many times I voice my fear. The other thing that impacts our life greatly is he cannot manage, in any organized way, the things he owns. It is akin to hoarding and is chaos. I keep the house in order but the rest of where we live is chaos and has become disruptive to living the kind of life we had wanted.
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A lot of people think this man is insensitive, but as someone with terrible ADHD he describes someone with ADHD spot on. He’s not being critical he’s just explaining his studies.
Hes spot on.
@@glutamateglutamate5728 yeah
@@carliejung8408 that s me.
I like my truths straight
Agreed 100%
I’ve been begging the UK NHS for help. And the wait time to even see a psychiatrist is 2 years!!!! It’s heart breaking. My life has fallen apart from the upheaval of Covid. My fiancée left me and I can’t get help.
I have adhd. The way this man speaks is easy to follow and remember. It is not negative, simply direct. Which is why I follow it and memorise it so easily.
It's just raw data. Direct, no politeness or wasted words. Nothing to interpret.
Glorious.
He has personal reasons as well to be detached. He described me in my teens, twenties, and thirties, except no ODD.
@@variyasalo2581 He does, and it does explain why he interprets ADHD symptoms in terms of the worst-case scenario. He obviously has real and serious grief about his brother and this is both good for us because it means he doesn't overestimate the capabilities of people with ADHD and bad for us because his estimates of ADHDers are set at the lower bound because his brother seemed to have been dealing with not only ADHD but also significant addictive personality traits.
Especially once I figured out how to increase the playback speed.
@@variyasalo2581 I know! ODD and adulthood ADHD...
It is like he has known me forever!
THIS. This is how I wish I’d been spoken to about my adhd. This guy, if his knowledge or attitude had been anywhere near me, would have changed my life. Brilliant.
ABSOLUTELY AGREE with you. This is 100% how I feel
I wish someone in the dark ages of my past had known about adhd & spoken to me about it
Given me a "slap " on the head.
Same
That's EXACTLY what I thought! 😢 . It sounds like a description of my life...
I wish my parents could have realised what he's saying at some point of my upbringing. My life would literally have been different
If any of this is painful to read. keep in mind his brother died from driving and had ADHD. Dr. Russell Barkley has clearly dedicated his life to studying and treating people with this ailment. I have nothing respect for this man.
He is not giving a counseling session , he is giving a lecture which is a totally different way of presenting information. People are coming to hear how ADHD impairs individuals.
Wow! He understands it so deeply.
Wow! He understands it so deeply.
That puts a different spin on his thinking that young people with ADHD should not drive, BREAKocean. I have ADD and thought that extreme. In my city, a distracted driving ticket holds a similar weight to a DUI.
@@dianelaidlaw837 I have never felt more vindicated and offended all at once. More, please.
I love how he doesn't dance around the point. In the comments I see some people who say he's being too negative. But I don't see it that way at all. He shows what science finds, without trying to please anyones ego. Especially this part of the talk reminds me why I have to keep trying. Not let my unmotivated, procrastinating side win over. For me it is highly motivational to hear my problems reflected in actual science. If you listen to the whole talk, that's 3 hours I think, you will hear him give some GOLDEN advice for handling those problems, too. So maybe give it a chance, even if you don't like what you are hearing.
I like the fact how serious he is about it. He gives you the Kool aid without the sugar.
The first time I watched a video of one of his lectures it kind pissed me off. I felt like he was being very negative and almost condescending. He kept saying “They can’t do this.” And “they can’t do that.” But after watching more i realized he is actually very sympathetic. I think he uses that negative language partly because so many of us with ADHD have heard “well if you can pay attention to X then you can pay attention to Y.” So then we try to pay attention to Y but fail and it feels like a personal failing rather than as the effect of a disability. I think his language emphasizes that that attitude will continue to fail, and that we need to find other ways to manage it rather than just hoping that the next time we try it’ll turn out differently.
@@Briansawilddowner Also, I think it gets overshadowed, that this is a talk for parents, doctors and other caretakers. He is trying to break those people out of unrealistic expectations. I think at some point he actually addresses the crowd like 'If you don't get it and expect unrealistic stuff from the kid you become my problem' or something like that. It's some time ago that I listened to the talk. So actually he's strongly advocating for the ADHDers.
i agree with you honestly
@SuperTrader Mikey Very true! I can't really handle work and household stuff and relationships all at once on an acceptable level. And keeping up the scaffolding sometimes feels like too much work on its own, even if it keeps me functioning. Aah... Life...
Diagnosed at 38, 18 years ago. He’s the first person who made me cry with his understanding and concise explanations about my ADHD.
I sabotaged my life cause of this illness. I wish someone told me about it.
I just did the same, cried listening to all this.....
You obviously did not watch the whole thing or you would know he is in favor of you getting your ass whipped. More consequences and accountability for ADHD kids, is what he said.
hehe wuss. I didn't cry because I barely listened 😉😉
@@joetoaster447
Most it is just theories anyway 😉
This man is the best speaker ever. It's flawless, even-paced, never getting stuck on a word, never uttering 'uhmm', same volume level throughout. No distractions, good quality voice. I can listen all day. The content is very helpful. Thank you sir for your service to the ADHD community.
Thanks for your feedback! We were pleased to have him present on our behalf!
@@adhdvid You're welcome.
❤❤❤❤❤❤ yes
@@adhdvid Can you add a link to the video that covers the next part of his talk? He got cut off.
Prof Rus is so easy to listen to. I discovered him a month ago. Dam. I was diagnosed in 2001 when I was 51.
Who else is watching this instead of doing what you’re supposed to be doing
Bird bird "Who else is watching this instead of doing what you’re supposed to be doing?" Guilty as charged.
Me
Its a great distraction! Lol.
why you gotta call us out like this
Hahaha! Yes!
I've just been diagnosed with ADHD 2 weeks ago, I'm 67.
Oh how I wish I could have had someone in my life as understanding as this man. It breaks my heart to think "what could I have been" with the proper help earlier in my life.
More help and less judgement is far more helpful. At last I am beginning to understand and forgive myself.
I totally relate to your comment. I've just been diagnosed at 58 years old. Also ASD. My body is very broken down now, so I don't look forward to much. I do feel very sad about not having been able to do the things in life I wanted to, or have a decent relationship, and after trying so hard to be a good and decent person, and live in community, I find myself completely alone. But I'm so glad to finally know why at least, although it doesn't fix anything, and I'm too old really to have those things, there's something to be very grateful for when you listen to someone like Dr Barkly, or other late diagnosed women, and finally all those pennies drop, and you know, finally, why things have turned out as they have. At least before I die I can have more understanding of myself and more compassion for myself.
🙏🏾
I too feel the loss of what could have been 😢 still happy to identify and treat what I've been struggling with my whole life. I'm 67
I am 54 and just starting my journey to diagnosis...i am hoping i can get some peace for the end part of my life
Oh Goodness ... Your comment really touched me 😢. I've just been diagnosed at 57 & coming to terms with the overwhelm of it all🤦🏼♀️. I have yet to find another person my age to talk to who's in the same situation & around the same age. It's a Very Lonely, Sad, Frustrating & Heartbreaking situation I find myself in. With the Absolute Relief of diagnosis & discovering I'm NOT all the terrible things I've been labelled as by others, even more devastatingly my own inner dialogue & battles re my ISSUES is the Struggle of now needing to learn how to deal, cope, manage & try to make my day to day life easier. I'm so sad for ALL the things that could have gone differently if I'd have only known this earlier.
Truthfully ... It's a hell of a rollercoaster ride & I wanna get off !!!!
I wish you all the best on your journey & just wanted you to know that your comment REALLY Helped me. Thank You 🥰
This man has really dedicated his life to the studies of our brains and is advocating for us. His lectures are amazing and you can feel how personal this disorder hits home for him in the way he speaks about his twin brother.
I agree with you.
I do really feel that his brother's situation - and I strongly empathize with his grief, it is terrible to lose a sibling so young in life - is something that colors his view of ADHD, no matter how much he rationalizes it. It's hard for someone to go through an intensely personal loss like a sibling, especially a twin sibling, to feel that that loss had a primary cause (rightly or wrongly) that is a condition that you have spent much of your time and effort studying, and not present that condition in that light.
But at the same time, he is a very hard listen because it seems as though he is of the opinion, colored by his brother's struggles and death, that people with ADHD are hopeless cases without strict medicalization, that we are INCAPABLE of caring for ourselves and others, and that we are completely unaware of ourselves.
@@katherineberger6329I agree, we definitely aren’t hopeless without medication. There are so many tools and learning strategies to be better in life
@@makkieu yes! not hopeless as we develop understanding. Definitely still have a much harder time though, especially emotionally too.
I think the intensity with which he approaches this topic is necessary to get people to take it seriously and those who suffer with it
100%!!! Dr Barkley is AMAZING!!!
Also, his brother had it and was killed in a car accident not wearing his seat belt. So he has a personal stake in this. He’s my ADHD guru.
I’ve never heard someone get ADHD so right. It’s incredible to hear this as an adult.
I got the opportunity to see Dr. Barkley in person in St. Louis, MO during a 2-day workshop. He is fascinating to listen to and as an ADHD person, I was able to focus on his presentation the entire 2 days without distractibility. Now, that's a gift!
I'm jealous. I would love to take a 2-day workshop with him.
That is unheard of that we could focus for that long, let alone one speaker - best expert on this topic ever!
Were you the one that followed him out to the car? /s
Yes, Barkley and his research are by far the best we have on this subject. He doesn’t sugar coat a damn thing and I appreciate his honesty.
I'm 39, never diagnosed with ADHD, however the more I look into it the more I get a picture of why I am who I am. But I always feel trapped and unable to seek help or get a diagnosis. Around 6 months ago I really began thinking that my mental health problems could be down to ADHD. Before that I was diagnosed with depression some 15 years prior, but never found that the drugs worked, they just made me feel more agitated.
My Dad told me that he thinks he have Autism, and more recently saying that one of my primary school teachers thought so too. My Mum also thinks that way. This put me on a path where I thought it could be Asperger's, and that may well be a factor, I have huge issues in social settings, never quite knowing what to say and my brain just locking up so to speak. ADHD on the other hand seems to fit as a descriptor for my mental condition so incredibly well I find it hard to find ways to deny it.
Overweight, jobless, poor dental hygiene, impulsive, zero sleep pattern, poor money management, no natural gas due to missed payments (means no hot water on tap), and so on. Honestly makes me angry and upset that all this time I've not been getting the help I so desperately need.
Get screened. I got diagnosed at 32 and it totally turned my life around. My mom thought I might have autism, but it turned out to be ADHD.
Autism and ADHD affect the same part of our brain. It's possible to have both and I know people including my husband who has Asperger's aka high functioning autism and also has ADHD behaviours too. The symptoms are similar but they are distinctly different diagnoses. Joining a local support group for people with HFA/ADHD helped us to learn more about ourselves as well as ways to adapt our lives to the way our brains process information. I have ADHD with shades of autistic behaviour. I was an odd child. I liked being alone and still prefer lots of alone time. They say I was like a little adult and preferred adult company than my own age group. We are all different even on the spectrum. What matters most is self acceptance and self respect. Being able to love and care for ourselves and not expecting others too. Everyone in the whole world struggles with something so I see that as something that connects us all.
How're you doing now, OP?
Yes, sounds like me.
my friend just mentioned this to me. Reading your summary, I thought you were talking about me. Now I want to find out, I hope I can afford the treatment
As a women who’s struggled ADHD since being diagnosed with it since middle school, I absolutely am aware that my untreated behavior has been getting worse with years going by. I have taken action by my own in learning more about my diagnosis and helping myself with videos like these that make me aware of what can happen in the long run and what are happening in my daily life now. Glad to have peace of mind that I’m not the only one who worries about themselves. I’m trying really hard. I’m very glad there’s people who take time/years researching about ADHD a huge respect towards them all. xoxo
I know that for people with ADHD this might be hard to listen to- disheartening. But it is good that he's talking about these statistics because then lawmakers can see the facts and KNOW that people with ADHD need help and might put more funds into them getting it.
So many people struggle all their lives where at least teachers should have noticed the signs. Teachers and health-care professionals needs to be more educated in what ADHD looks like- so a person doesn't need to go untreated far into their adult life.
Honestly, as someone who has ADHD, I am grateful for how straightforward he is being. It lets me know that no, my disorder really is as bad as I think and I am right to get treatment for it, that I'm not faking.
@@What-lt3lj Yes, that's how I feel too.
Teachers are not trained psychologists nor neurologists. We have to deal with ASD, TDHD, dyslexia... We can't be experts on everything.
@@Ignasimp I think being able to raise concerns on common developmental disorders should be something teachers should be able to do- I'm not suggesting being able to pinpoint a diagnosis but notice concerning behavior that affect the child's schoolwork or relationship with other students. Then report it to somebody more fit to do something about these concerns.
@@Toyon95 yeah, and i agree with that, to some degree. That's why i'm watching this videos precisely. The thing is we are being forced to do plenty of things that are not our jobs and then blamed for not doing it perfectly. And the information is not avaliable anywhere. I'm lucky enough to have a good English level and a thirst for knowledge, but this information right here wasn't easy to come by, at all. And now I need to find other high quality videos on all the other mental disorders? XD if anyone knows were to find that i'd be thankful!
I was even thinking of doing a master's degree on neuropsicology and education. But then when reading about the subjects and the content there is plenty of pseudoscience there. How can i even trust the oficial sources when that happens?
If I had found this man's work before I hit 32 and my life was falling to bits and I'd learnt properly about my adhd I think I might have faired better.
So I’ve been on medication since I was 22 (I’m 44 now and still alive) and therapy since. What I can say about this video is that he is so spot on. Cheating is a gray area off medication but the moment I got on the right medication (13 failed, got on desoxyn and now recently changed due to the shortage, Vyvanse 70 mg), it was like my brain grew up. Without medication, it’s impossible to thrive due to deficiency of norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain, one that keeps you alert and focused and the other helps emotion. Nicotine does help more than coffee but if you have ADHD you either smoke or vape or drink a lot of coffee or whatever fits in your hyper focused activity. I was self medicating with meth before medication and haven’t touched hard drugs in 22 years. Exercise and proper sleep schedule (if possible) will help shift focus away to other coping mechanisms to hyper focus of a healthy lifestyle.
But medication must be used with ongoing therapy because it won’t solve the problem.
I’m glad I stumbled upon this video. Everything he’s saying is true. I even almost died from sepsis and heart disease runs in my family and now I know why. There’s no coincidences in life. If you have it, get treated. It’s not a stigma anymore. It’s not bad medicine or speed. It’s medication and wanting to thrive.
My twins were just diagnosed with ADHD (6 years old) and it’s been such a ride with all the meetings with school. One boy and one girl. So if you’re a parent reading this, get your kids on meds. They have better options now than 20 years ago and kids with ADHD on medication will get A’s and become honors students. I was able to take calculus and passed! Without medication, it’s all nonsense.
Anyone else have kids with ADHD? How are you managing?
How long did you use meth to self medicate? Was it difficult to give it up once you were put on proper medication?
He is so spot on. As someone with severe adhd I appreciate the candid way that he speaks on this. I feel seen, validated and understood.
I love this man. I would be the happiest person having him as my therapist. Even listening to his lectures with interesting studies is my kind of therapy
I love the way Mr Barkley explains the symptoms of ADHD. Especially the driving, it's a miracle of God that I didn't seriously hurt someone. I'm 60 years of age. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. I've been sober since 95 ODAAT 12 step programme and good sponsorship. But I felt there was something still not right with me. I was diagnosed by way of the Barkley scale from the Maudsley hospital London 👍💯🇬🇧
He's right on about giving credit and credit cards to people with adhd. It's usually a disaster for me especially with being impulsive with spending.
Absolutely. Even though I meant to be responsible I messed up & eventually ended up bankrupt. Lot had to do with low income but I should have known better.
I'm so glad I quit smoking, alcohol, went Vegan and cycle a lot.
It's not improved the presentation of my ADH Spectra, but Bloody Hell, it's kept the rest of my body on form. My life expectancy hasn't gotten any worse.
Now I've got to learn to get my dental health on track.
😌
Same. If anything, those are areas I find success where most people cannot.
@@tracysample6942
☺️
I cycle primarily for my adhd. I can’t overstate enough how much exercise, especially an aerobic sport like cycling, helps with my adhd
@@czagazeta
Thanks Christian.
Might just fix my puncture yet.
😉
@@czagazeta Now I'm old & struggling with hip stiffness & don't feel safe walking as much as I used to.
I'm ADHD and I chose to never have children from the time I was a child. I'm 45 1/2 now and believe it was the best decision I ever made. Children deserve good parents and I know I wouldn't be a good one.
People who think like that end up being decent parents, knowing your shortcomings is the only way to correct them
I agree. I have 4 kids and have passes on trauma to them because of my adhd and autism traits. It doesn't help that they have it too. I love my kids but they don't seem to understand my love language. I have RSD and PDA too which makes my interactions with people and the behaviours I exhibit. I don't wish that I didn't have my kids, they are amazing, but I wish I could have been a better parent. I'm sure my mum had the same conditions but I didn't realise until after her death. We had a terrible relationship and I didn't speak to her for the last 5 years of her life. ADHD and autism need to be taken more seriously as it ruins lives.
Sadly I agree. Seeing how my ADHD has not given my son a responsible road map for life. Though not diagnosed he seems to have many of the characteristics of ADHD.
@@keilana6 so many parents feel guilty about what ttheir adhd kids have experienced life but given that 79% of adhd is genetic (apparently), most of those parents are also struggling and are also trying to teach their kids to be NT so thet they avoid the same issues that have faced but if they couldn't do it themselves how can they teach their ND kids. We tend to accept our kids more of we are ND but we so desperately want to protect them. Society has to change, not us
The more I hear this Sir the more I love his wisdom.
For an adhd person, Mr. Russell's speeches are glistening through my brain like hot knife through butter. He is so coherent, and eloquent, and the pace he speaks at is so appeasing... Definitely my favourite lectures ever. I cannot get enough of them
As a mother of a child with ADHD, and a wife of a husband with it as well. He is a major source of my sanity, and my ability to "manage" my home effectively by knowing what allowances to make and how to work within everyone's ability.
I needed to have self discipline to NOT read for pleasure as a child. CONSTANTLY! It was my escape from the problems caused by my inability to self regulate.
Christina M reading probably gave you a lot of knowledge? Didn’t?
Christina M like my baby boy. Reads every night and can do so for hours on end.
I did that too as a child. I would rather read than play. I still do it now at 51. I will read a novel over doing housework or anything else. I will justify it to myself, just one more chapter and I will do the dishes etc. Before I know it it is 2am and I have finished the book.
Yes I read and read. But I'm glad because if I was a kid of this generation would be glued to a screen
@@TheFaro2011 True! Like now you mean? 😂 I moved house recently and found loads of old books, thought, I must read some. What am I doing? Scrolling through RUclips 🤦♀️
As you watch these videos and this one in particular, it brings you to tears as he is, in so many ways, is describing your life. Thank God I don't have driving or drugs issues other than (sugar).
I have been tested and been banned in the Netherlands to get a driver's license if I am not medicated. Due to these videos I am much more understanding about this decision.
One of the most informative videos (and channel) I've found on RUclips regarding ADHD.
I am 51 and diagnosed 2 years ago. When I first watched this man 2 years ago, I found him grating but 2 years later, I realise how people do not take my diagnosis seriously compared to my sons autism. I now know, how seriously ADHD has effected me and continues to do so, so kudos to him.
Such a great speaker - fast tempo, knowledgeable, data-specific, some laughs, regularly coming back to the reason why this finding is important - actually easy for ADHD listener to follow, thank you
Safe Driving tips for ADHDers:
0) Cycling - It will make the importance of safe driving much more salient if you've spent some time as a cyclist.
Also, exercise raises ambient dopamine levels.
1) Systematize & Self-talk - Have explicit systems for scanning your mirrors and restoring your focus to the task at hand.
Mumble under your breath things like "Scan left mirror: empty. Return to Front. Onramp: Check for merging cars."
2) Wide-angle rear-view mirror - You can increase the ability to notice things to your right for $10 (or £10 to notice things on the left).
3) Audio *without* visual imagery - You want the mental stimulation but *don't* want something that pulls at your visual working memory.
If you love maps, *don't* listen to descriptions of military campaigns which mention rivers or cities.
If you can read and visualize music, *don't* listen to music.
4) Quick pausing by voice of any audio. If you have friends, then make it explicit that when you ask them to pause,
it is an expression of how much you care for their safety.
Great list of coping skills, thanks! I've never thought about the perils of visualizing during audio descriptions of maps & other geography.
Amazing how he shares about his own brother. It makes it very personal
My sister and I were both diagnosed within two years of each other in adulthood without the other knowing. My mother had my sister when she was 17 and my sister had her first child at 18. A lot of what Dr. Barkley says is spot on with my family...Even down to taking the car out before being licensed for a joy ride when nobody was home.
He is so articulate, no fillers.
squad up if you're avoiding something by watching this and also have 15 other browser tabs open
Do 223,000 inbox emails trump the open tabs? only at 32 of them. Professional ADD, Amateur computer organizers
I hate this so much:(((
about 60 tabs opened, and i've just closed the non important ones like an hour ago :/
I've only got 29 open but they're almost all half finished RUclips videos that I'm intending to watch but know I won't because I hardly finish anything ever
In some ways, this makes me want to cry, Alexander Marohnic. I am like this too. On the other hand, I sure know a little about a lot of things. I wonder if "polymath" is another name for ADD?
ADHD in a marriage, when its untreated can be devastating to the partner who doesn't have ADHD. We are contemplating divorce because of this.
I've been married for 29 years, but luckily enough I have a very understanding husband. His patience with me is absolutely unbelievable. It hasn't been easy, but I went into therapy for ten years, and combined with medications I'm better than ever. I hope everything turns out well for you. 💙
7.756.935- you are very very lucky to have such a patient husband. I wish mine could understand.
My husband has it, and is on meds for it. But, he doesn't learn about it, or do the behavior therapy. I've been as patient as I can, but it's absolutely worn me to shreds. The chaos, the anger, impulsivity, breaking things, and my needs not getting met have caused me a lot of personal pain. He doesn't consider what I need as a spouse, and we've lived like separate people. It's been damaging to my self esteem while he continues staying in denial of ADHD symptoms. I don't nag him about this, and never have. But, this is why I learn on sites like this, it helps.
dede4004 leave this fucking mental illness. I mean it. Plenty of healthy people out there. He’s sabotaging your own mental health.
Unfortunately I did divorced, my older son has adds also and the relationship has been so heart broken to me!
He’s spot on. Having someone explain my experience precisely is validating. Someone out there actually gets me.
Anyone else listening to this while finishing off assignments? I find this man the most stimulating conversationalist and the best background study "sound".
I wanted to scream at my first job when before I left, I asked my project manager to give me general advice to go on with life. And he said “follow through what you said you’re going to do”. I wanted to ask him so badly to give me a specific example because I made an extraordinary effort everyday to follow through what I said I was going to do. To hear him say that, not knowing what I did to offend him, hurt me so much because I always write things that, cross things out and finish the task. It’s like I want to scream “I don’t even know what I didn’t do”. It’s one thing if it’s on purpose and I just wanted to be an asshole. But it wasn’t. It’s me trying so hard everyday to be as normal as everyone else
I dont drive so none of the driving symptoms catch me, but this is why I dont drive. I'm deathly afraid of it. When I'm walking down the street I space in thought. Im afraid of that happening to me in a car.
Try slowly things like getting a scooter. :) Helps a lot and it's fun
Same!! ❤️
This is the best described and most depressed lecture I have ever looked at. I really feel that my life sucks even harder now. I wished adhd was more known when I was a kid not now as an adult.
I consider myself to be an extremely skilled driver, never had an accident in 24 years of driving. I don't consider myself to be very skilled at much else. My dad would take me driving from childhood. I love driving, going quickly, hugging the apex, properly accelerating to get onto the highway, predicting what is going to happen in other lanes, parallel parking, etc., but I am extremely impatient, and get serious serious road rage because I view 90% of other drivers as being incompetent, slow, inconsiderate, not spatially aware, and in my way. They cause unnecessary traffic jams, they brake when they do not need to, they don't make full use of the merge lane to get up to speed, they sit in the fast lane impeding traffic, they're scared to change lanes or believe it is dangerous, the list goes on. I suspect a lot of this comes from overly cautious driving instructors and lack of practice. I'm very pigheaded about this issue and I think I should have been an F1 driver lol...
If my educators in special Ed were as direct and concise as he, I’d have understood my diagnosis as more than a learning disability
Good luck finding a psychiatrist that has this knowledge, let alone a Sped Teacher...
They war he talks is so easy to understand. I can listen to him talking about the scientific sides of ADHD for hours. I’m glad we have people like him in this world. Thank you, Sir!
I am wide-eyed at how much is we myself and my family in this detailed and comprehensive description. I would be the first in my family realise the major effects of ADHD. I cannot praise Dr Barkley enough for all the work he is doing. This has changed my whole world and my family’s future
Dr. Russell Barkley is an absolute ADHD treasure. He is consistently on the frontline of ADHD research, fighting to spread awareness of the facts.
It's also unreal, how the descriptions he lays out correlate with me like 90%. It's like he is describing, specifically ME, up there. It is effing BONKERS.
Frankly, it's almost disturbing, just how much can be described about a person without even knowing them. 😬
Im that adhd person following him to the parking lot 😂
So relatable
Ditto🙈
Maybe as far as the lobby.
No judgment it's ok
That example is poor one. It is WNL for an individual to be enthusiastic about a newly discovered data and want to take advantage of an opportunity to talk such a hi- level researcher. IMO, it is a burden of the recipient to politely big off not the enthusiastic learner sensing a golden' opportunity.
The best speaker and expert on this topic I've ever seen. Thank you so much.
I've been married 3 times (on third and final marriage now) first child at 18, second at 20. Divorced by 21. Married again at age 28, had 2 kids, divorced at the age of 32. Met my currsnt husband at age 33, he was 22. We got married 6 years after we got together, have been together all up 12 years and have 1 child together. He pays the bills because i will put them in a drawer or ignore emails. He is my rock. My best friend is 14 years younger. I think that we are younger in the brain. I definitely don't feel like a grown up
I once moved the bin under the letter box
That is, CLASSIC ADHD...
Thank you so much for these teachings. I feel peace now. Your brother was a hero for helping all of us through you
This Teacher is hitting quite a few points I have found myself in his Talks with us. He has been there and done that. Or, he has worked and studied ADHD patience’s. I could and do listen to his Talk all the time. I need to learn so much as to how to apply myself to helping myself being medicated for the ADHD I have. Not to forget I am older now, 53!
I'm 81 & hoping I can be treated before I die for my sake and my family.
I actually highly appreciate how he explains and validates how adhd can cause such chaos in yr life and highly effects yr self worth rather than the usual dismissive comments of how significantly it impacts yr life because u allow it to by using it as yr excuse for yr slackness .. ouch !! Now that’s a hard one to swallow when yr struggling to function and hating that yr not seeming to be capable of doing what seems so easy for everyone else.
It’s embarrassingly, frustrating, and constant. It makes u hurt people unintentionally and presents laziness, selfishness or just an excuse u use to dismiss what a hopeless misfit you are so there’s absolutely no glamour in that believe me.
Every single thing he said apart from teenage pregnancy (I have reason for why that didn't happen) I can absolutely 100% relate too. My insurance is through the roof.
Not dead yet, but let's see what age lol haven't hit them
Spot on! I didn’t realize until I was 65 I was ADHD! It was a frustrating life, until l learned how to turn in to my advantage
How did you turn it into your advantage?
How? I'm there & not diagnosed. Life continues to be a waste.
I have adult ADHD. I think Dr. Barkley is amazing. I sought help for years but because I didn't show hyperactivity and presented well, even though I told therapists about my history, my life failures, my current life issues, no one took me seriously. It had to get very bad.
I’m so happy I found this. Thank you so much for all of your research and hard work. This gave me a lot of tools on how to understand and support my partner and his ADHD, coping, tendencies and social interactions. I’m sorry about your twin brother. Many blessings to you and your loved ones, peers and research staff.
Not my friends always calling me out for road rage and me not knowing why (just got diagnosed 6 months ago and this series has been so helpful).
Hands down one of the best explainers of myself and my adhd. Very intelligent man.
I'd love to take your driving test, only a few speeding tickets in my life, only accidents I've been in, I was hit while stopped and not my fault. I actually predict other drivers behavior very well. I'm hyper aware while driving.
Me too! And NO speeding tickets! (yet) I LOVE driving, especially on the highway, (Mass Pike) It feels like a game to me, and I am SUPER focused!
I love this doctor. We are blessed that he understands us so well.
So much to process here. Amazing.
Watching this on 1.25x speed is delightful! Yes identify with so much he’s saying! Wow! I absolutely LOVE the way he speaks so candidly and directly.
Yes I also love the candidness
This man describes remarkably well every single problem that I encountered in my life. The worst about this disease is that since it's my daily reality since I can think, that this is normal. And that every failure is rooted in me being lazy and dumb. I am not absolving myself from anything. I could have researched this way more intensely and way earlier to find a solution. But I deluded myself into believing that this is how it is and I just have to try harder. But all I did with that is just avoiding the necessary steps for years. Again the worst thing about this sickness is your own inability to see it as such.
This is the best ADHD information I have ever seen after 20 years of raising two kids and a husband with ADHD. Husband is now IT manager of a major mining firm with a team of twenty, so there is hope for you all! Children doing acting and film making
Thank you
*I forgot when 8 o'clock was*
Trying to explain this to someone who just understands time is one of the most difficult and patronizing things I've ever tried to do.
It just looks like you don't care to everyone else.
I usually have to rewind so many times then I give up, I kind of forget I was watching it then go back to it, so many half watched videos. This is one I intend to go back to, it seems very interesting 🤔
He is honest. I have add or whatever you want to call it. He explains my life so far.
All I need is ADHD being treated again and my whole life is transformed. It’s nottrauma, sadness or anything like that, it’s Functioning and moving forwards again .
This is the story of my life except the tobacco... school, marriage, divorces, relationships, car accidents, alcohol and problems at work
i've accidentally shoplifted before. When I was a little kid, I took some toys for birthday gift bags, and I straight up forgot to bring it out to pay for it once I left the store with my mom. I felt so bad afterwards that I kept asking to go back to the store so I could pay for them.
My god the driving thing...i haven't driven in years and I'm so grateful i stood my ground on that!!
Wow....
Im 34 and am only just in the last 6 months coming to terms with having ADHD.
It absolutely SUCKS. I hate it.
This man is changing my life, thank you
This is a window into my life. I wish I had seen this in 2009...
Wish I'd known it 40 years ago.
Believe it or not, the fear of hell has helped me control a lot of my impulsiveness.
He speaks of me and my entire family. Spot on with the bad driving.
Ommmg this guy has put my entire life on blast and I'm thankful for it. Jesus god we are not okay and we need freaking help!
Impaired in all 3. Nothing ever changes. My anger is targeted to me primarily.
He rings every bell to those who live with ADHD
33, diagnosed ADHD Combined Type this year. My brother and this man are responsible for me learning about it and getting me to treat it.
Well, there's also autism in there too, as my psychologist suspects it. But still!
This answers a lot more of my questions than I like
Diagnosed at 49. Too late to achieve the things I wanted to, but at least now I have the name of the guy who's been sabotaging me my whole life ......
Can I admit that I watch these videos at 1.5x speed with the closed captions (CC) on?
Tks for reminding me to incr the speed.
1.25 with captions.
Tell me you have ADD without telling me you have ADD.
I have adhd and autism. I really struggle to judge distance when driving. I have to slow down if cars are coming the other way or on motorways in order to feel safe and in control. I hate driving, it makes me so stressed and scared. It limits my life a lot as I rarely drive anywhere unless I have to. I moved to Scotland so I could enjoy the beautiful countryside but I'm too scared to drive anywhere. I am a ridiculously cautious driver because I know I struggle. I do wonder if taking adhd meds when driving would help
It's so true for me about realisation at a later age (early 40s). It's a time where taking stock and realising where you are in life (versus where you ought to be) is unavoidable. Although I'd completed my art degree and had a relatively successful career as a graphic designer I had not been able to actually use my natural talents and progress to an Art Director role because I was also struggling with my symptoms (I had to scrape by, work through the night to meet deadlines, hide my messiness and lack of organisation, redo jobs because I didn't take in and retain all the info etc).
Personal life was also a disaster: bad debts, terrible credit rating, impulsively moving home, no savings, broken relationships, an affair, an abusive relationship, abortions, drug abuse... just a great big mess. I nicknamed myself 'Calamitys Child'
I wish I was diagnosed sooner
I so relate to your comment. I am a 51-year-old obstetrician gynecologist, who just got diagnosed. It is difficult to confront what untreated ADHD has cost me in my life. So it comes with a wave of fear and regret and what if…. that just crashes over you. Next comes a comforting wave of relief that you now understand. You have believed for so long that you were just broken and incapable. In this relief, you can confront those beliefs for the lies that they are, and learn to tell yourself a new story. Brace yourself, because next comes away with fear and anxiety about the future. Because now that you know, you need to do the work to learn how to live with it, so that you change the course of your life going forward, no matter what happened back there. It’s just the wake of the boat. Don’t get trapped into thinking that it drives the boat. Go take the wheel. It’s terrifying because when you do so, you’ll have to look at where your boat has travelled while you were lost in the wake and actually take some steps in the direction of taking your life where you actually want it to go. In this way, the diagnosis of ADHD is a gift, even if you had to traverse all those nasty rapids to find it. Much love.
Sorry. *next comes a wave of fear
Pretty much me.
Wow, I had my first baby at 16, this resonates with me a lot, I had all four by age 25
My daughter and my mother always told me i was adhd and should medicate. Yet I am a great driver no accidents over decades no road rage 2 speeding tickets with extrodinary and exacrting reflexes, i dont have these kinds of impulse control issues unless i drink. Thos is exactly why i dont care for such a diagnosis because according to your research and as soon as the industry takes advantage of what you are saying my insurance would go up despite that i dont display those particular symptoms.
jokes aside
this man knows me
better than i do .....
He is great. Im 45 and just recently got finally diagnosed with ADHD. Till recently even the psychotherapist could not accept/didnt want to discuss at all my "claims" for ADHD. I feel relieved but also a bit sad
Cannabis isn't for coping with life's problems. Cannabis helps with what you have described as the main problem of ADHD, which is the suppression of emotions.
I've tried medical cannabis. I talked my bloody head off for 2 hours. I was so pinged, I never want to attempt it again. I feel sorry for the person who's eat I chewed off.
Also I would crack a joke that was twisted so much it have 3 (or more) hilarious possible outcomes. Only my daughter laughed because she understands me and also is of the tribe. I was so exhausted by the end of the night. Not to mention a little embarrassed.
Someone interrupted asking "unmedicated?" He responded and immediately picked up where he left off. Im kinda jealous.
Me too
I hardly ever finish a video on utube. Except this
A good/ related book is Rosenberg's: Non Violent Communication. the doctor says very little about ADDHD personS self-talk a subject so critical to this issue.
He’s the man,l wish my parents and I knew this stuff sooner rather than later❤
I’ve had a lot of tickets in the past and I’m just getting treatment within the last month or so.
My adhd husband got a perfect score on his driving test as a teen. He boasts about this but his driving is reckless. I think he likes the challenge to concentrate when driving fast. Also, he is competitive with driving. It's hard to ride with him. It doesn't matter how many times I voice my fear.
The other thing that impacts our life greatly is he cannot manage, in any organized way, the things he owns. It is akin to hoarding and is chaos. I keep the house in order but the rest of where we live is chaos and has become disruptive to living the kind of life we had wanted.