I knew this was coming. It's not feasible to pursue a PhD at MIT while simultaneously working full-time on a startup. I wish you the best of luck and success with your startup!
(10:49) "I wasn't able to force myself to sit down focus and study something I'm not excited about. Isn't that exactly what discipline means?" I can relate to this. For so many of my younger years, I thought I wasn't disciplined compared to my peers, and that was the reason why I would sit at my desk, staring at homework or a project that I thought I wanted to do, but couldn't "discipline" myself to work on. The truth that I learned 20 years later (after years of therapy) was that I had normalized abandoning myself, and forcing myself (from my critical parent ego state) to do things that I didn't actually want to do. My stubbornness which manifested as not doing these things was my child self's way of fighting back against being forced like this. If you find it necessary to force yourself to do anything, you're in a bad relationship with yourself. We wouldn't force someone else to do something they didn't want to do, so why does it seem okay to force ourselves? Being connected to myself and "on my own side" means developing a healthy relationship with myself, awareness of my wants and needs, and using my critical parent and nurturing parent ego states to help protect and nurture my child self to do the things he wants to do. After a lifetime of "forcing myself" to do what I thought I "should" do, I found this to be a very challenging thing to do, initially. But after practicing it with continued help from my therapist, I'm glad to say I eventually got proficient at treating myself well and not trying to force myself. I hope that if this seems relevant to you, that you find your way to a similarly positive relationship with yourself.
I'm pursuing my PhD at Stanford, and this video perfectly encapsulates all my feelings. Thank you, man, for sharing it, and I wish you the best of luck with your startup!
I mastered out of my PhD earlier this year bc I just felt perpetually stuck and demotivated after having to compete for limited resources and investment from my PI. It made me realize that my objectives and those of most academics aren’t aligned and while I appreciated what I learned and the people I met, it’s just not for me. This was super inspiring! Thank you 🙏🏾
as a 6th year PhD candidate from UCSD, I admire your courage and I definitely understand the struggles you have been through because I am in the same situation, I am just crossing fingers and hoping this nightmare will be over as soon as possible. Good luck for you
@@misnik1986 UCLA and UC Berkeley. We are talking about PhD's. No point if you don't get a PhD from a top 10 program in your field. Not always, but they usually reside at Harvard, Berkeley, Caltech, MIT, Stanford, UChicago, Yale, Princeton, Hopkins (Biology). I"m talking Science programs. If you want to be elite you got to get a PhD from one of those schools. If not then you get the benefit of working for the guy that went to one of those schools. If you want to be a prof then you need either PhD or Postdoc (preferably both) at those schools. For chemistry (my field) you can add Scripps and Northwestern.
Damn this was really valuable. Thank you for your honesty. I’m an academic and have actually seen you around campus! It has truly helped me to have an honest perspective like yours, which nails all the discipline challenges i myself face, to help me make sense of a world that not a lot of people are honest about or can even process. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. I was shocked yet deeply moved when you spoke of 'sacrificing most of your life and happiness.' This is the first time I realized that you, too, have had experiences similar to mine. Since the beginning of junior high, I gradually sacrificed my personal life and the time spent with friends. I hesitated and struggled with this decision, but ultimately, I chose this 'lifestyle.' I once naively thought that if I lived in a Western country, I could study topics of interest, share learning, life, and entertainment with like-minded friends - a balance of education and fun, how wonderful that would be. Since childhood, I've been fascinated by painting, enjoyed music, and loved literature... I was interested in almost everything. For the sake of my studies, I gradually gave up nearly all my hobbies, even shifting my passion to my weakest subject, mathematics. Despite this, I grew to like mathematics and often scored full marks. Yet, there was no escape; after mastering the current year's material, I had to start learning the next year's content in advance, without the possibility of skipping grades, only to compete with others who had also studied two or three years ahead in the same grade. I've had my doubts, but seeing my classmates also sacrificing their lives, interests, and even sports, I thought perhaps this is the normal life of a student in China. But I can't help but yearn for the possibility of studying in the United States, of pursuing a Ph.D. there, where I might live the ideal life I've always dreamed of. Your sharing has been very helpful, if I apply for my Ph.D., I will consider not only academic achievements but also the lifestyle during my doctoral studies
Yes you nailed it, that s what academia is: you sacrifice your personal life for achieving goals in research. Don t fool yourself with the marketed version of it. It is very competitive, due to many students and researchers competing over few resources nowadays, and this pressure that you have already experienced will never get better, it is just part of your career until you land some permanent position, which typically happens in your fourties in most countries. At that point most of what you have sacrificed will never be returned to you, so be aware of what s important to you and sacrifice it carefully. There are other options. even though personally, I like mathematics more, most people don t , and opt for friends, leisure time and family.
I'm an undergraduate student at Johns Hopkins, when I got into the biomedical engineering program I was ecstatic. At that time it was ranked the #1 biomedical engineering program in the world, it was my dream and something I thought would be nearly impossible for me to achieve. But almost 1 and a half years later, I've found the major really isn't the right fit for me. A couple days ago I decided to drop the major and change to Applied Mathematics and Statistics. I feel like I relate a lot to what you've shared. I'm not certain what my next steps are but I'm confident this change is the best move and for the first time in a while I'm excited to see what the future of my undergraduate experience is going to look like. Thanks for sharing your story, God bless.
Hi Samuel, I appreciate you making this video and being so transparent about how your motivations affect your discipline. You don't know how you've helped me today. God bless you bro!
I seriously considered a PhD after my masters as it seemed like the next logical step. Instead, I worked with an old supervisor as a researcher for a little under a year. It was the best decision I've ever made because I have ZERO regrets about not then starting a PhD after that year. I really recommend doing this, if you can, if you are unsure.
This resonates with me - interestingly, I was in a similar situation but I decided for my PhD and against the startup that I was also building up. Now that I have completed the PhD, which I also only did to prove to myself that I can do it, I am ready to tackle the startup again. Maybe you will have a similar experience and get a PhD later. Good luck with everything!
Man you're definitely the most similar person to me I've every seen. I'm really not disciplined unless I really have passion about something. I was really interested in Physics and Astronomy since 6 or 7 years old. I learned a lot from documentaries and books in my primary school. Somehow I even found and joined the distributed computation from SETI in Berkeley at the age of 10 (last month I've just met the co-founder of SETI and it really is an amazing experience to meet someone you knew 10 years ago). But I'm only a random kid in China. And 99% of Chinese kids would have to follow the track of high schools and take the exam to the top universities in China. I suffered whole 5 years of depression in my high schools. I've tried my best to find a way out. I joined a program to do research with professors in yr 10 and even have my own publication. But there's something going on in the system and connections in the program... Somehow I won the debate of my paper but I wasn't offered the chance to visit and compete abroad. I totally lost faith and tried to persuade my parents to let me go study abroad, cuz I was so depressed. It succeeded. But then the pandemic comes. I can only go to a high tier but not top university. I tried to be passionate about my physics study, but the atmosphere there was just killing me. No one talks during and after class, most professors are just reading the slides. And the students there keeps being extremely competitive. Finally I got a chance to study in Berkeley in a physics program. My passion finally come to life. But over the years I still lack of constant motivation. No one back to China understand me. Your videos have been so informative for my PhD application and helpful for my career planning! And most importantly, I feel a strong sense of resonance. So thank you so much! Keep going and don't forget to share your experience and hints to us if you have time! Sincerely wish you all the best!
I left a PhD program at Stanford back in 1981, after earning the A.M. If I had the decision to make again, I would stay for the PhD. I can relate to the feeling of having won the prize, just by getting in.
Oh Sam, It's so exciting to listen to you, because I experienced it the same way in 2009, forever alone, focused on my studies at MIT, family at home in Germany BUT I finalized the phd! I'm happy about that too, but I understand you, because the price ( my price) was high ... someone once said, pay attention to what you wish for, sometimes fate demands its price
Thank you so much Samuel for opening up. It really stood when you said "I lack the discipline even now." Most people live their entire lives without that self-awareness. Proud of your for getting to MIT PhD, its no easy feat. So glad you could pursue your goals, and find your career path. I think I'm in the exact opposite situation - I love research, from a business background. Pursuing my path with your words definitely gives me more clarity. Keep it up!
I can relate to you so much. I made it into the top college in my state, but later willingly rejected the offer to go to another college that offers a better campus and environment. It's tough to accept the fact that I'm just like you; I need a goal in order to function. Without a goal, I feel completely lost. Currently, my obsession is still school, but I'm also trying to grow my channel because I feel like this path allows me to impact many more people. Best of luck with your startup!
"I realized that my true inner goal was just to prove to myself and everyone around me that I could get into MIT." Though I'm only an MIT undergrad (sophomore) and have a way less interesting background story on how I got here, I've overall been facing the same internal struggle of motivation and direction that you've described in this video. Some parts really felt like I was listening directly to my own daily thoughts, such as the line quoted above which I've for sure said similar ideas to many people. I think I worked decently hard to get here, and was very strategic with what I spent and sacrificed all my time on in high school, but now that I no longer have those things to work for I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I feel I am about average in intelligence and high school achievement compared to other undergrads, but every day I question if I really belong here because I do not want to be doing any work for classes or clubs or internships or anything else that I see so many working for, and I'm definitely wasting my time and opportunity here. I guess it is somewhat comforting (but maybe also concerning) to see someone slightly farther along the academia path going through similar struggles. I hope I will find what I can prioritize and feel passionate about again soon like it seems you have.
Everyone who gets into an elite institution feels that at different levels, but you don't want it to be your ONLY reason. It won't get you through challenges that'll eventually come up, & you'll become resentful. I advise you to use this time for self-discovery. Talk about your dilemma to one of the student affairs counselors. Maybe they can help you determine if you are just in the wrong course for your interests... or if transferring elsewhere would be best. You should also take advantage of the offerings as ways to socialize & have fun while you're still there. Find 1-2 student groups to join. Take a really interesting class that isn't related to your course. There's a blacksmithing class!
Many of your videos are excellent, but this one surpasses it. Frankness and courage to talk about sensitive subjects are precious things that are increasingly rare on the internet. Congratulations!
Thank you so much! I am also a undergrad who are trying to apply for a PhD in USA. When you talked about your inner happiness, I re-examine my inner happiness and I am sure it is something related to academia. Thank you, Bosch , you do give me a lot of useful advice.🥰
What? I feel so surpurised and shocked that you decided to quit PhD. It is your experience pursuing PhD in MIT and your videos that inspire me to engaged myself in studying PhD, too. Now, I am in the 2nd year of PhD in Economics. But I hope you all the best with your business and wish you a bright future!
Thank you for this video Samuel! I've recently started a PhD. I was rushed into my decision really, I was unhappy and unsure what dieection I wanted to go in. I already work pretty much a full time job (that i'm unhappy in) and running an eCommerce business so why I thought doing a PhD on top of my commitments already was a really stressful decision and now i just feel constantly overwhelmed and struggle to where to put my focus and energy. I think I was trying to tell/prove to myself that I wanted to become a Dr and an expert in my field but I think your video has made it clearer to me that no, I don't want to become a researcher, and no, I don't want to become a professor and work in academia! I think I need to focus on my ultimate passion and that is my business and focus growing that, you've helped me see that a PhD would only stall me and potentially regret losing out years of my life doing something that I don't enjoy doing that probably would not make a difference in the grand scheme of things in my business. Thank you for sharing your journey, it's enforced what I think i was already feeling!!!
Hey! I read your comment and found it quite interesting. I'm planning to apply for a Ph.D. program in Genetics, but the problem is that I'm not from the US and will have to relocate there. It's been a few weeks, and I'm still struggling to find the right direction, considering my age as I'm already 34. I've been active in the startup scene for the last 7 years, but now I'm thinking about starting a biotech venture in the future, and that's why I want to pursue a Ph.D. in Genetics. However, I'm not sure if this is the right decision for me.
Thank you so much for sharing, this video is actually really helpful to me as an MIT undergrad freshman debating whether or not to get a PhD later on. For me, it depends what career I choose. My childhood dream was always to be an astrophysicist, and in high school I was focused in all things astronomy, even starting a tiktok channel where I teach millions about cool astronomy topics. But I now am realizing that to be an astrophysicist, I need a PhD, and I'm not really digging research or teaching jobs. I love talking about astronomy and sharing my knowledge, but the idea of focusing on one niche topic for perhaps the rest of my life does not sit well with me. I think aerospace engineering would be the better choice for me, as I just joined the rocket team here at MIT and I'm really liking it so far. I wish you luck on your journey! Also, I'm pretty sure I've seen you at the Zesiger gym, looking huge man :)
Thank you for such a nice comment! I was the same way and wished I pursued more practical applications of my passions earlier on. Spot me next time at the gym 💪💪
I feel literally everything you’re feeling. My whole life was about academics, reading the textbook, obsessing over prestige, and chasing after buzz words. But I realized super late now into my masters that buzz words can only get you so far.
Buzz words will get you through a master's & your PhD coursework, but not past that halfway mark. That's why many leave their doctoral program with a master's.
Hey Samuel, I absolutely admire your honesty and your incredible ability to self-reflection. That probably summarizes feelings and struggles that so many of us have but do not have the courage to actually talk about it. This video will definitely be a starting point for many people to appreciate where they are and, most important, think about what their real passion is, without getting influenced too much from external factors. Great work and all the best for your start-up journey! Looking up to you man!
This is what college and higher education should be about. Go. Learn what you need to do what you want to do. Then do what you want to do. If that’s a job, and they want the piece of paper, get the piece of work paper. But if you know everything you need why stay
"Discipline works both ways" - learned something new today. Found your channel via MIT videos, but will follow it for more adventures. Enjoying your quality content! All eyez you :)
Thanks for sharing this, Samuel. Listening to you made me feel less incompetent myself, and more comfortable with who I am & the state of things around me. Much love, & good luck ahead.
I love your videos and since I came across your Channel you’re one of my main sources of motivation. I’ve been struggling with motivation and have had - and still have - episodes in which I was sure I’m just not intelligent enough. So as silly as it may sound but knowing you’re struggling too helps me a lot in bad episodes ! Keep up the good work, Grüße aus Deutschland
One morning, you will wake up and regret that you didn’t earn your doctorate. You were VERY fortunate to have a great advisor who wanted you to succeed. Pursuing a doctorate is an exploration in learning and advanced problem solving. Once you are a doctor, no one can take that from you.
CHAOS !! haha dam you have GERMAN accent then. Your decision makes sense. Courage Samuel ! It makes sense when we follow your videos when you speak more and more of your start up (and a company is like a child, the first years requires EVERYTHING! Time, money, focus etc so yeah it makes sense! Finally "Having freedom in PhD research but feeling overwhelmed without much guidance. ANd feeling inadequate and struggling due to lack of discipline and remote learning during the pandemic... is really crazy how we have things in common hahah"
Hi Samuel, Ich finde das war bis jetzt eins deiner besten Videos in denen du einen "Realtalk" rausgehauen hast. Sehr gut strukturiert und inspirierend☝️
I learnt something very important from you sharing your decision and it is the fact that having goals and pursuing our passion seems to be more important than simply getting a PhD degree even from an elite university. Well, I have to say as a perfectionist personality I was doing my best to become able to reach one of the top-rankeing universities in the world. But now I learnt that pursuing a bigger goal and living more purposeful is the thing that truly matters in live. Thank you for sharing your bold decision with us ❤.
Thank you for this very nice and clear video. I always kinda wonder if I should pursue a PhD even if I'm working as a data analyst. This video helps me getting closer to the conclusion that I shouldn't as I definitely don't want to do research. Thanks again for this video amd bestvof luck for Marveri !
I first knew you by your A Day in the Life of an MIT PhD Student vlog. Back then, I was an undergrad dreaming about getting into a PhD program and doing fancy research. Now, I am in my first year of my Ph.D. and thinking about quitting. I feel an unspoken connection with you.
Wow Samuel, kudos to you for making this difficult decision! As a high schooler, I've been dreaming about getting into some of the top schools like MIT and Harvard, how you were when you were in Croatia. I love your honesty in your videos and I know that your start-up will be successful! Keep on the grind 😀
oh my goodness, this is so similar to my story but my 'MIT' was Cambridge university (i'm in uk) - it was my reason to get up in the morning every day year after year.. a few unfortunate things happened along the way - I had a Cambridge offer and missed it by a few marks - felt like my entire universe was imploding. To cut a long story short, I ended up getting into Oxford for PhD... and turned it down! I'm now doing a PhD elsewhere, I sort of miss having that extreme daily goal.
I disagree with 15:30. Seeing the PhD as delaying your progress in becoming part of the workforce speaks to the fact that you, personally, see it as a delay- and there's nothing wrong with that- rather than it being a delay for everyone. And this is precicely where the big misunderstandings regarding the PhD appear. PhD students are already part of the workforce. They are already producing quantifiable results in terms of research or teaching or whatever else they are involved in in their PhD. PhD is as real as any other job out there is. Just because it is more flexible, this doesn't mean it is like a hobby or something. So by the time you stop producing results, even one page of writing, this means that you are out of the workforce. Even the thoughts you have regarding your research or your teaching are quantifiable and are considered actual work you put into the PhD. I think people are too quick to dismiss the concreteness of the work they put into when it comes to intellectual labor just because you don't have someone else checking on you all the time.
Also a PHD student considering mastering out. I indeed feel the same that I won't be disciplined enough to push myself or to convince myself to do something that I am not excited about.
I always connected the PhD with deep knowledge and understanding of a field of study, even the ability to create new deep knowledge in the subject. Very few career successes could compete with that.
Have been watching your journey pretty much from the start of your YT channel! You keep inspiring, motivating and enlightening me man, wish you the very best!
Similar story here, parents moved from another country. Didn't know English well, struggled through highschool but now starting degree in Theoretical Physics at a great university at age of 29! :)
As someone who did a MA in physics, I feel that most people don't really understand any of the literature. The literature isn't a way to share ideas, it's a way to document ideas and prove that someone did something.
Hi Samuel, Thanks for your sharing. Through your words and sharing, I was able to experience the PhD life @ MIT! One suggestion to you is that you can take an one year break so that you can fall back to your PhD career path if you found it new reasons to your future plans? Also a foot in the campus, helps you access to various resources and network that you can access for your startup! My best wishes to your Successful Startup career! 👍👌
Have been following you for months....thank you...and its the job requirements and overhead you mentioned in your career page and other requirements section that pushes us to consider PhD :) (:
This video helped me a lot, Samuel! I'm thinking about applying for a PhD next year at MIT, but really this question you said conveys a little of what I think too. Sometimes I wonder if this is really what I want.
Hey bro, thanks for this video. I've been pursuing my master's degree for a year now and didn't feel good about the topic. I have recently changed the field and now I am feeling much better, although I have had some second thoughts because I already invested so much time and effort. Take care!
I also quit my phd 2 years agon in UK. The reason was huge amount of stress and not getting any result that i can get working in industry such as salary, work-life balance and so on. In the end, i decided that if i want to publish an article I do not need to be a phd and I quit
I feel you! I found myself looking at math books without any formulas to memorize but only texts and texts and texts, and the exams are closed books! I'm struggling to quit now...
I quit my PhD 2 years ago and it was the best decision of my life; the only thing I regret is that I hadn't done it sooner (I quit after 5 years, yea I know that's pretty long); the best advice I got when I was talking to people about this was "it's not a big deal, a PhD is just a PhD, people quit their jobs everyday"
Going to a similar situation to decide. It's been 4.5 years, but I haven't enjoyed research as I used to in my masters. I don't know is it worth leaving, coz it's too late.
the only thing i can say to you is that you gotta do what you feel is right for you and your happiness. you will still land on your feet if you decide to withdraw, you just gotta be confident in the skills you have acquired from these 4.5 years of experience. I did. in those 5 years i gained a massive amount of technical lab skills and am now working in an industry setting as a Lab manager. I believe people doing a PhD put too much emphasis on the research itself and fail to recognize that they have acquired a massive skill set in the process that can easily be translated to other jobs@@dikshasrivastava5242
Samuel , wtf???? I hope you go back and finish. You can change the subject, even though I was very hyped for you to do quantum in AI . I believe you will succeed!!!!
I disagree with the point that PHD doesn't help in industry because a lot of position are specific for PHD candidate like in computational sciences most job openings require at least phd and it is very common in tech as it's rapidly evolving
I haven't seen many people in industry in high ranking positions who didn't either have a PhD, MD or JD. That's just the minimal requirement today to get a good job.
Sam you are really good at expressing. But more than that, you are really a self-awareness and autocritical guy. I can see you probably fit for entrepreneurial track naturally. Glad you find your passion.
Another issue with American Universities, they enroll studenst with only Bachelor degrees into PhD program.....thats so wrong. Master program prepares you for a tougher challenge and gives you a glimpses of what it feels doing PhD. UK schools always request a master degree in order to enter PhD.
No, that’s generally only true in the social sciences and humanities. In STEM subjects, it’s not uncommon in the UK to go straight from a BSc to a PhD without taking an MSc between the two.
In China, many students start their PhD when they only have bachelor degree. But only undergraduates form Tier 1 school(eg. universities in project 985) can do this.
I don’t find that an issue; especially given the fact that our universities have students pay exorbitant prices for both a Bachelors and Masters. Until we get free education, I think it is best for students who want to pursue research to get paid and spend time getting a PhD.
I think desire took you over... and job. You were doing a job for a long time, disconnected from academia, and suddenly you jumped to academica, which is very different type of work... Good luck in your future
I watched your videos, and in one of them, you vouched the USA for STEM. I commented in that video that I'll come to the US for my bachelor's. Today I'm commenting again, I'm here in downtown Atlanta. I respect your decision. I met two of the smartest people that I ever knew here at GSU. I didn't get into any good univ with a scholarship and GSU was the cheapest. I am not sure about a Master's or PhD, but I wanna make rockets so bad! I want to mine asteroids and make factories floating in orbits so that just finished goods land using parachutes in the oceans and then transported via ships!
Interested in joining my startup? Check out open positions on my career page: marveri.com
Totally unrelated but what MBTI personality are you, Because you mentioned lack of discipline I am guessing ENTP
Are you looking in the future a Business Administration CDO with knowledge in DS and Business Analytics? I'll will be in Boston on April 24.
She was so fucking excited when those big strong arms grabbed her and threw her out of the chair 💪
Can I take your place as a PhD student at MIT? If you don't want it, I'll take it. 👍
That is sad. MIT Ph.D. is for life. Startups come and go with rare exceptions.
this is actually some really good advice '' u may not lack disipline, but a purpose and goal to acomplish'' wow
Discipline is always a good trait, but the combination really pushes people forward :)
What a good point, yes!
this is just great
I knew this was coming. It's not feasible to pursue a PhD at MIT while simultaneously working full-time on a startup. I wish you the best of luck and success with your startup!
Appreciate it 🙂
You can if it's your dissertation work (of course, that introduces some IP issues to resolve).
(10:49) "I wasn't able to force myself to sit down focus and study something I'm not excited about. Isn't that exactly what discipline means?"
I can relate to this. For so many of my younger years, I thought I wasn't disciplined compared to my peers, and that was the reason why I would sit at my desk, staring at homework or a project that I thought I wanted to do, but couldn't "discipline" myself to work on.
The truth that I learned 20 years later (after years of therapy) was that I had normalized abandoning myself, and forcing myself (from my critical parent ego state) to do things that I didn't actually want to do. My stubbornness which manifested as not doing these things was my child self's way of fighting back against being forced like this.
If you find it necessary to force yourself to do anything, you're in a bad relationship with yourself. We wouldn't force someone else to do something they didn't want to do, so why does it seem okay to force ourselves? Being connected to myself and "on my own side" means developing a healthy relationship with myself, awareness of my wants and needs, and using my critical parent and nurturing parent ego states to help protect and nurture my child self to do the things he wants to do. After a lifetime of "forcing myself" to do what I thought I "should" do, I found this to be a very challenging thing to do, initially. But after practicing it with continued help from my therapist, I'm glad to say I eventually got proficient at treating myself well and not trying to force myself. I hope that if this seems relevant to you, that you find your way to a similarly positive relationship with yourself.
You can if you pay some other smart researcher to do most of your work
I'm pursuing my PhD at Stanford, and this video perfectly encapsulates all my feelings. Thank you, man, for sharing it, and I wish you the best of luck with your startup!
Good to hear that. Best of luck to you!
I mastered out of my PhD earlier this year bc I just felt perpetually stuck and demotivated after having to compete for limited resources and investment from my PI. It made me realize that my objectives and those of most academics aren’t aligned and while I appreciated what I learned and the people I met, it’s just not for me. This was super inspiring! Thank you 🙏🏾
as a 6th year PhD candidate from UCSD, I admire your courage and I definitely understand the struggles you have been through because I am in the same situation, I am just crossing fingers and hoping this nightmare will be over as soon as possible. Good luck for you
UCSD is not good enough. not worth doing a PhD at UCSD.
@@chemistryphysics716 but the UCs in general all well ranked in the world, why are you saying this?
@@misnik1986 UCLA and UC Berkeley. We are talking about PhD's. No point if you don't get a PhD from a top 10 program in your field. Not always, but they usually reside at Harvard, Berkeley, Caltech, MIT, Stanford, UChicago, Yale, Princeton, Hopkins (Biology). I"m talking Science programs. If you want to be elite you got to get a PhD from one of those schools. If not then you get the benefit of working for the guy that went to one of those schools. If you want to be a prof then you need either PhD or Postdoc (preferably both) at those schools. For chemistry (my field) you can add Scripps and Northwestern.
depends on the major but for stem fields its an amazing graduate school, definitely a top choice graduate school @@chemistryphysics716
@@chemistryphysics716 what a douche
Damn this was really valuable. Thank you for your honesty. I’m an academic and have actually seen you around campus! It has truly helped me to have an honest perspective like yours, which nails all the discipline challenges i myself face, to help me make sense of a world that not a lot of people are honest about or can even process. Thank you.
Glad you found this valuable, and next time come say hi! 😊
Thank you for sharing. I was shocked yet deeply moved when you spoke of 'sacrificing most of your life and happiness.' This is the first time I realized that you, too, have had experiences similar to mine. Since the beginning of junior high, I gradually sacrificed my personal life and the time spent with friends. I hesitated and struggled with this decision, but ultimately, I chose this 'lifestyle.' I once naively thought that if I lived in a Western country, I could study topics of interest, share learning, life, and entertainment with like-minded friends - a balance of education and fun, how wonderful that would be. Since childhood, I've been fascinated by painting, enjoyed music, and loved literature... I was interested in almost everything. For the sake of my studies, I gradually gave up nearly all my hobbies, even shifting my passion to my weakest subject, mathematics. Despite this, I grew to like mathematics and often scored full marks. Yet, there was no escape; after mastering the current year's material, I had to start learning the next year's content in advance, without the possibility of skipping grades, only to compete with others who had also studied two or three years ahead in the same grade. I've had my doubts, but seeing my classmates also sacrificing their lives, interests, and even sports, I thought perhaps this is the normal life of a student in China. But I can't help but yearn for the possibility of studying in the United States, of pursuing a Ph.D. there, where I might live the ideal life I've always dreamed of. Your sharing has been very helpful, if I apply for my Ph.D., I will consider not only academic achievements but also the lifestyle during my doctoral studies
Yes you nailed it, that s what academia is: you sacrifice your personal life for achieving goals in research. Don t fool yourself with the marketed version of it. It is very competitive, due to many students and researchers competing over few resources nowadays, and this pressure that you have already experienced will never get better, it is just part of your career until you land some permanent position, which typically happens in your fourties in most countries. At that point most of what you have sacrificed will never be returned to you, so be aware of what s important to you and sacrifice it carefully. There are other options. even though personally, I like mathematics more, most people don t , and opt for friends, leisure time and family.
I'm an undergraduate student at Johns Hopkins, when I got into the biomedical engineering program I was ecstatic. At that time it was ranked the #1 biomedical engineering program in the world, it was my dream and something I thought would be nearly impossible for me to achieve. But almost 1 and a half years later, I've found the major really isn't the right fit for me. A couple days ago I decided to drop the major and change to Applied Mathematics and Statistics. I feel like I relate a lot to what you've shared. I'm not certain what my next steps are but I'm confident this change is the best move and for the first time in a while I'm excited to see what the future of my undergraduate experience is going to look like. Thanks for sharing your story, God bless.
Great major. Friend did that and now a very high paid quant trader for hedge fund. Became millionaire from it before 25
can i have your mail?
Oh, that INTRO was fantastic! I was hoping to pursue a PhD in Sociology, and after hearing your perspectives, I am more aware of a PhD journey.
Hi Samuel, I appreciate you making this video and being so transparent about how your motivations affect your discipline. You don't know how you've helped me today. God bless you bro!
I appreciate that! :)
Really appreciate your honesty and advice! This has made me think about my PhD ambitions a bit more carefully
I seriously considered a PhD after my masters as it seemed like the next logical step. Instead, I worked with an old supervisor as a researcher for a little under a year. It was the best decision I've ever made because I have ZERO regrets about not then starting a PhD after that year. I really recommend doing this, if you can, if you are unsure.
This resonates with me - interestingly, I was in a similar situation but I decided for my PhD and against the startup that I was also building up. Now that I have completed the PhD, which I also only did to prove to myself that I can do it, I am ready to tackle the startup again. Maybe you will have a similar experience and get a PhD later. Good luck with everything!
I want to do this too I also feel like having a PhD might be a great bonus for your startup reputation
Well, a PhD isn't everything. Forget it; Do what you like. Good luck.
Man you're definitely the most similar person to me I've every seen. I'm really not disciplined unless I really have passion about something. I was really interested in Physics and Astronomy since 6 or 7 years old. I learned a lot from documentaries and books in my primary school. Somehow I even found and joined the distributed computation from SETI in Berkeley at the age of 10 (last month I've just met the co-founder of SETI and it really is an amazing experience to meet someone you knew 10 years ago). But I'm only a random kid in China. And 99% of Chinese kids would have to follow the track of high schools and take the exam to the top universities in China. I suffered whole 5 years of depression in my high schools. I've tried my best to find a way out. I joined a program to do research with professors in yr 10 and even have my own publication. But there's something going on in the system and connections in the program... Somehow I won the debate of my paper but I wasn't offered the chance to visit and compete abroad. I totally lost faith and tried to persuade my parents to let me go study abroad, cuz I was so depressed. It succeeded. But then the pandemic comes. I can only go to a high tier but not top university. I tried to be passionate about my physics study, but the atmosphere there was just killing me. No one talks during and after class, most professors are just reading the slides. And the students there keeps being extremely competitive. Finally I got a chance to study in Berkeley in a physics program. My passion finally come to life. But over the years I still lack of constant motivation. No one back to China understand me. Your videos have been so informative for my PhD application and helpful for my career planning! And most importantly, I feel a strong sense of resonance. So thank you so much! Keep going and don't forget to share your experience and hints to us if you have time! Sincerely wish you all the best!
I left a PhD program at Stanford back in 1981, after earning the A.M. If I had the decision to make again, I would stay for the PhD. I can relate to the feeling of having won the prize, just by getting in.
Interesting. I guess I’ll know in a few years (or decades) if I will regret it :)
Why did you drop out?
I am a junior in college in Taiwan.This video really gave me a clear perspective on my career.Thank you❤
Am glad the video helped. Btw, Erin (my girlfriend that appeared in the fist seconds of the video) is also from Taiwan 😊
Oh Sam,
It's so exciting to listen to you, because I experienced it the same way in 2009, forever alone, focused on my studies at MIT, family at home in Germany
BUT I finalized the phd! I'm happy about that too, but I understand you, because the price ( my price) was high
... someone once said,
pay attention to what you wish for, sometimes fate demands its price
What an inspiring journey! Can’t wait to see what comes next :)
Thank you 😊 lots of startup updates ahead!
I am really happy for you. A PhD is definetely the way to go for me, but you look so happy with your decision. Best whishes in all your endeavours.
Thank you for making this video, self-reflection is an extremely powerful!
You're so welcome! 😉
Thank you so much Samuel for opening up. It really stood when you said "I lack the discipline even now." Most people live their entire lives without that self-awareness. Proud of your for getting to MIT PhD, its no easy feat. So glad you could pursue your goals, and find your career path. I think I'm in the exact opposite situation - I love research, from a business background. Pursuing my path with your words definitely gives me more clarity. Keep it up!
I can relate to you so much. I made it into the top college in my state, but later willingly rejected the offer to go to another college that offers a better campus and environment. It's tough to accept the fact that I'm just like you; I need a goal in order to function. Without a goal, I feel completely lost. Currently, my obsession is still school, but I'm also trying to grow my channel because I feel like this path allows me to impact many more people. Best of luck with your startup!
You are changing lives, bro. I admire you. Never give up on your dreams :)
Appreciate it :)
I needed to hear that. Thanks Samuel, best of luck!
"I realized that my true inner goal was just to prove to myself and everyone around me that I could get into MIT."
Though I'm only an MIT undergrad (sophomore) and have a way less interesting background story on how I got here, I've overall been facing the same internal struggle of motivation and direction that you've described in this video. Some parts really felt like I was listening directly to my own daily thoughts, such as the line quoted above which I've for sure said similar ideas to many people.
I think I worked decently hard to get here, and was very strategic with what I spent and sacrificed all my time on in high school, but now that I no longer have those things to work for I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I feel I am about average in intelligence and high school achievement compared to other undergrads, but every day I question if I really belong here because I do not want to be doing any work for classes or clubs or internships or anything else that I see so many working for, and I'm definitely wasting my time and opportunity here.
I guess it is somewhat comforting (but maybe also concerning) to see someone slightly farther along the academia path going through similar struggles. I hope I will find what I can prioritize and feel passionate about again soon like it seems you have.
I think many people at MIT (and similar places) go through such thoughts. It’s just something few people will admit to. Best of luck to you! 😊
Everyone who gets into an elite institution feels that at different levels, but you don't want it to be your ONLY reason. It won't get you through challenges that'll eventually come up, & you'll become resentful.
I advise you to use this time for self-discovery. Talk about your dilemma to one of the student affairs counselors. Maybe they can help you determine if you are just in the wrong course for your interests... or if transferring elsewhere would be best. You should also take advantage of the offerings as ways to socialize & have fun while you're still there. Find 1-2 student groups to join. Take a really interesting class that isn't related to your course. There's a blacksmithing class!
Many of your videos are excellent, but this one surpasses it. Frankness and courage to talk about sensitive subjects are precious things that are increasingly rare on the internet. Congratulations!
Very inspirational, but I was jumping in my seat as you casually went over being at top in olympiads, and working at DE Shaw
You did this video for entire day. I noticed with day light behind you. That's hard work.
Hahahaha yes, starting in the early afternoon and it took me quite some time :)
I hope your video gets millions of views. You deserve it 👏 💓
Thank you so much! I am also a undergrad who are trying to apply for a PhD in USA. When you talked about your inner happiness, I re-examine my inner happiness and I am sure it is something related to academia. Thank you, Bosch , you do give me a lot of useful advice.🥰
What? I feel so surpurised and shocked that you decided to quit PhD. It is your experience pursuing PhD in MIT and your videos that inspire me to engaged myself in studying PhD, too. Now, I am in the 2nd year of PhD in Economics. But I hope you all the best with your business and wish you a bright future!
Thank you for this video Samuel! I've recently started a PhD.
I was rushed into my decision really, I was unhappy and unsure what dieection I wanted to go in. I already work pretty much a full time job (that i'm unhappy in) and running an eCommerce business so why I thought doing a PhD on top of my commitments already was a really stressful decision and now i just feel constantly overwhelmed and struggle to where to put my focus and energy.
I think I was trying to tell/prove to myself that I wanted to become a Dr and an expert in my field but I think your video has made it clearer to me that no, I don't want to become a researcher, and no, I don't want to become a professor and work in academia!
I think I need to focus on my ultimate passion and that is my business and focus growing that, you've helped me see that a PhD would only stall me and potentially regret losing out years of my life doing something that I don't enjoy doing that probably would not make a difference in the grand scheme of things in my business.
Thank you for sharing your journey, it's enforced what I think i was already feeling!!!
Hey! I read your comment and found it quite interesting. I'm planning to apply for a Ph.D. program in Genetics, but the problem is that I'm not from the US and will have to relocate there. It's been a few weeks, and I'm still struggling to find the right direction, considering my age as I'm already 34. I've been active in the startup scene for the last 7 years, but now I'm thinking about starting a biotech venture in the future, and that's why I want to pursue a Ph.D. in Genetics. However, I'm not sure if this is the right decision for me.
Thank you so much for sharing, this video is actually really helpful to me as an MIT undergrad freshman debating whether or not to get a PhD later on. For me, it depends what career I choose. My childhood dream was always to be an astrophysicist, and in high school I was focused in all things astronomy, even starting a tiktok channel where I teach millions about cool astronomy topics. But I now am realizing that to be an astrophysicist, I need a PhD, and I'm not really digging research or teaching jobs. I love talking about astronomy and sharing my knowledge, but the idea of focusing on one niche topic for perhaps the rest of my life does not sit well with me. I think aerospace engineering would be the better choice for me, as I just joined the rocket team here at MIT and I'm really liking it so far. I wish you luck on your journey! Also, I'm pretty sure I've seen you at the Zesiger gym, looking huge man :)
bro you are studying at MIT. you can become a successful shit eater and still be the best at it.
you got this
👍
Thank you for such a nice comment! I was the same way and wished I pursued more practical applications of my passions earlier on. Spot me next time at the gym 💪💪
It takes a whole amount of courage to acknowledge so many vulnerabilities. All the respect. Would marry the guy!
I like how honest you are. I wish you success in your career.😊
Thank you 😊
Very honest, much appreciated. I have had quite the same journey
I feel literally everything you’re feeling. My whole life was about academics, reading the textbook, obsessing over prestige, and chasing after buzz words. But I realized super late now into my masters that buzz words can only get you so far.
Buzz words will get you through a master's & your PhD coursework, but not past that halfway mark. That's why many leave their doctoral program with a master's.
Hey Samuel, I absolutely admire your honesty and your incredible ability to self-reflection. That probably summarizes feelings and struggles that so many of us have but do not have the courage to actually talk about it. This video will definitely be a starting point for many people to appreciate where they are and, most important, think about what their real passion is, without getting influenced too much from external factors. Great work and all the best for your start-up journey! Looking up to you man!
This is what college and higher education should be about. Go. Learn what you need to do what you want to do. Then do what you want to do. If that’s a job, and they want the piece of paper, get the piece of work paper. But if you know everything you need why stay
You went to same primary school in Zagreb as I did, same generation. Glad to see you are doing well!
Appreciate it and great hearing from you :)
Thanks for sharing! I was lifted up by your videos. Wish you a nice future!!!😘
You’re welcome ☺️
"Discipline works both ways" - learned something new today. Found your channel via MIT videos, but will follow it for more adventures. Enjoying your quality content! All eyez you :)
Glad to hear that 😉
You did all right, samo jako buraz moj😉
💪💪💪
I respect your decision Samuel, and i wish you good luck on your next journey. I hope that your company will be successful :)
Thank you very much! :)
Thanks for sharing this, Samuel. Listening to you made me feel less incompetent myself, and more comfortable with who I am & the state of things around me. Much love, & good luck ahead.
Thank you for the valuable advice! Indeed, much of your advice really hit home for me.
You're so welcome! :)
I love your videos and since I came across your Channel you’re one of my main sources of motivation. I’ve been struggling with motivation and have had - and still have - episodes in which I was sure I’m just not intelligent enough.
So as silly as it may sound but knowing you’re struggling too helps me a lot in bad episodes !
Keep up the good work, Grüße aus Deutschland
One morning, you will wake up and regret that you didn’t earn your doctorate. You were VERY fortunate to have a great advisor who wanted you to succeed. Pursuing a doctorate is an exploration in learning and advanced problem solving. Once you are a doctor, no one can take that from you.
Thank you for giving me the words to all the Thoughts I had in my mind for the last 2 years
These are the kind of videos which are really valuable. I would really like such a video about your startup journey until now
Glad you made a choice and followed your heart. Doing things that you love is the best you can do!
CHAOS !! haha dam you have GERMAN accent then.
Your decision makes sense. Courage Samuel ! It makes sense when we follow your videos when you speak more and more of your start up (and a company is like a child, the first years requires EVERYTHING! Time, money, focus etc so yeah it makes sense!
Finally "Having freedom in PhD research but feeling overwhelmed without much guidance. ANd feeling inadequate and struggling due to lack of discipline and remote learning during the pandemic... is really crazy how we have things in common hahah"
Hahhaha I pronounced it in the Croatian way 😂
Hi Samuel,
Ich finde das war bis jetzt eins deiner besten Videos in denen du einen "Realtalk" rausgehauen hast. Sehr gut strukturiert und inspirierend☝️
I learnt something very important from you sharing your decision and it is the fact that having goals and pursuing our passion seems to be more important than simply getting a PhD degree even from an elite university.
Well, I have to say as a perfectionist personality I was doing my best to become able to reach one of the top-rankeing universities in the world. But now I learnt that pursuing a bigger goal and living more purposeful is the thing that truly matters in live.
Thank you for sharing your bold decision with us ❤.
😊
Thanks for sharing your experience it was a great help for me to reconsider what I want to do in life anyways I wish you the best for your startup.
Thank you for the well wishes :)
Thank you for this very nice and clear video. I always kinda wonder if I should pursue a PhD even if I'm working as a data analyst. This video helps me getting closer to the conclusion that I shouldn't as I definitely don't want to do research.
Thanks again for this video amd bestvof luck for Marveri !
Danke für dieses tolle ehrliche Video .Dann viel Erfolg mit deinem startup😊
Danke ☺️
❤No matter, even if you give up the PhD, I prefer to continue bringing videos about MIT, Harvard and brilliant students.🎉😊
I first knew you by your A Day in the Life of an MIT PhD Student vlog. Back then, I was an undergrad dreaming about getting into a PhD program and doing fancy research. Now, I am in my first year of my Ph.D. and thinking about quitting. I feel an unspoken connection with you.
Another really nice advice from this worderful man . Thankyou Samuel !!
Congrats!
Glad you liked it! 😊
@@SamuelBoschMITI like all of them.
This is the best "academic" video i ever watched. I learned a lot. Thanks!👍
Looking forward to the video!!
Wow Samuel, kudos to you for making this difficult decision! As a high schooler, I've been dreaming about getting into some of the top schools like MIT and Harvard, how you were when you were in Croatia. I love your honesty in your videos and I know that your start-up will be successful! Keep on the grind 😀
oh my goodness, this is so similar to my story but my 'MIT' was Cambridge university (i'm in uk) - it was my reason to get up in the morning every day year after year.. a few unfortunate things happened along the way - I had a Cambridge offer and missed it by a few marks - felt like my entire universe was imploding. To cut a long story short, I ended up getting into Oxford for PhD... and turned it down! I'm now doing a PhD elsewhere, I sort of miss having that extreme daily goal.
I disagree with 15:30. Seeing the PhD as delaying your progress in becoming part of the workforce speaks to the fact that you, personally, see it as a delay- and there's nothing wrong with that- rather than it being a delay for everyone. And this is precicely where the big misunderstandings regarding the PhD appear. PhD students are already part of the workforce. They are already producing quantifiable results in terms of research or teaching or whatever else they are involved in in their PhD. PhD is as real as any other job out there is. Just because it is more flexible, this doesn't mean it is like a hobby or something. So by the time you stop producing results, even one page of writing, this means that you are out of the workforce. Even the thoughts you have regarding your research or your teaching are quantifiable and are considered actual work you put into the PhD. I think people are too quick to dismiss the concreteness of the work they put into when it comes to intellectual labor just because you don't have someone else checking on you all the time.
Thank you for this video and your advice.
Also a PHD student considering mastering out. I indeed feel the same that I won't be disciplined enough to push myself or to convince myself to do something that I am not excited about.
I always connected the PhD with deep knowledge and understanding of a field of study, even the ability to create new deep knowledge in the subject. Very few career successes could compete with that.
Have been watching your journey pretty much from the start of your YT channel! You keep inspiring, motivating and enlightening me man, wish you the very best!
Thank you, im now pursuing master’s degree, and i hope to pursue My PHD later will be my best decision ever
Great advice ... We too often fall prey to the sunken cost fallacy
Exactly!
I'm very happy for you Samuel!
Similar story here, parents moved from another country. Didn't know English well, struggled through highschool but now starting degree in Theoretical Physics at a great university at age of 29! :)
Very nice 😊
As someone who did a MA in physics, I feel that most people don't really understand any of the literature. The literature isn't a way to share ideas, it's a way to document ideas and prove that someone did something.
Glad you had the courage to make the right decision for you. Best of luck in your endeavors!
This is a good ideology and is worthy of thesis research itself. Great video!
Hi Samuel, Thanks for your sharing. Through your words and sharing, I was able to experience the PhD life @ MIT! One suggestion to you is that you can take an one year break so that you can fall back to your PhD career path if you found it new reasons to your future plans? Also a foot in the campus, helps you access to various resources and network that you can access for your startup! My best wishes to your Successful Startup career! 👍👌
Have been following you for months....thank you...and its the job requirements and overhead you mentioned in your career page and other requirements section that pushes us to consider PhD :) (:
I don’t think any of my listed jobs require a degree. Even the research one :)
This video helped me a lot, Samuel! I'm thinking about applying for a PhD next year at MIT, but really this question you said conveys a little of what I think too. Sometimes I wonder if this is really what I want.
Great video! Appreciate the openness and I'm sure this was a hard video to make in some ways. Best of luck with your startup!
Hey bro, thanks for this video. I've been pursuing my master's degree for a year now and didn't feel good about the topic. I have recently changed the field and now I am feeling much better, although I have had some second thoughts because I already invested so much time and effort. Take care!
this is your most motivating video i have seen
Big news……I’m pretty keen on knowing all about it since I’m in one now……wish you all the best 👍
I also quit my phd 2 years agon in UK. The reason was huge amount of stress and not getting any result that i can get working in industry such as salary, work-life balance and so on. In the end, i decided that if i want to publish an article I do not need to be a phd and I quit
I feel you! I found myself looking at math books without any formulas to memorize but only texts and texts and texts, and the exams are closed books! I'm struggling to quit now...
U are the best brother .. keep it up 💪👍 .. don't loose hope .. every thing will be the best at the end .. much respect and love from India ❤
Thank you 😊
I quit my PhD 2 years ago and it was the best decision of my life; the only thing I regret is that I hadn't done it sooner (I quit after 5 years, yea I know that's pretty long); the best advice I got when I was talking to people about this was "it's not a big deal, a PhD is just a PhD, people quit their jobs everyday"
Going to a similar situation to decide. It's been 4.5 years, but I haven't enjoyed research as I used to in my masters. I don't know is it worth leaving, coz it's too late.
the only thing i can say to you is that you gotta do what you feel is right for you and your happiness. you will still land on your feet if you decide to withdraw, you just gotta be confident in the skills you have acquired from these 4.5 years of experience. I did. in those 5 years i gained a massive amount of technical lab skills and am now working in an industry setting as a Lab manager. I believe people doing a PhD put too much emphasis on the research itself and fail to recognize that they have acquired a massive skill set in the process that can easily be translated to other jobs@@dikshasrivastava5242
Great video full of insights! Thanks for sharing!
Samuel , wtf???? I hope you go back and finish. You can change the subject, even though I was very hyped for you to do quantum in AI . I believe you will succeed!!!!
I disagree with the point that PHD doesn't help in industry because a lot of position are specific for PHD candidate like in computational sciences most job openings require at least phd and it is very common in tech as it's rapidly evolving
I haven't seen many people in industry in high ranking positions who didn't either have a PhD, MD or JD. That's just the minimal requirement today to get a good job.
Sam you are really good at expressing. But more than that, you are really a self-awareness and autocritical guy. I can see you probably fit for entrepreneurial track naturally. Glad you find your passion.
Thank you!!! 😊
This is where I'm headed. I'm a PhD student and I'm working on a startup that is due to launch soon.
📈📈📈
Another issue with American Universities, they enroll studenst with only Bachelor degrees into PhD program.....thats so wrong. Master program prepares you for a tougher challenge and gives you a glimpses of what it feels doing PhD. UK schools always request a master degree in order to enter PhD.
No, that’s generally only true in the social sciences and humanities. In STEM subjects, it’s not uncommon in the UK to go straight from a BSc to a PhD without taking an MSc between the two.
In China, many students start their PhD when they only have bachelor degree. But only undergraduates form Tier 1 school(eg. universities in project 985) can do this.
I don’t find that an issue; especially given the fact that our universities have students pay exorbitant prices for both a Bachelors and Masters. Until we get free education, I think it is best for students who want to pursue research to get paid and spend time getting a PhD.
Good luck with your startup!
Thank you! 😊
Hope that you build a big company in the future!
I wanted to talk to the camera 😢 great video though 😊 childhood pictures are cute!!
You’ll need to get your own RUclips channel then 😉
I think desire took you over... and job. You were doing a job for a long time, disconnected from academia, and suddenly you jumped to academica, which is very different type of work... Good luck in your future
I watched your videos, and in one of them, you vouched the USA for STEM.
I commented in that video that I'll come to the US for my bachelor's. Today I'm commenting again, I'm here in downtown Atlanta.
I respect your decision. I met two of the smartest people that I ever knew here at GSU. I didn't get into any good univ with a scholarship and GSU was the cheapest.
I am not sure about a Master's or PhD, but I wanna make rockets so bad! I want to mine asteroids and make factories floating in orbits so that just finished goods land using parachutes in the oceans and then transported via ships!
Best of luck on your new journey!