You guys have been a shining light for so long and I love you guys for it. Fear & insecurities are the biggest hurdles that’s why communication is key. Ownership is not the answer. If you truly love someone be ok with letting them go. When you come to terms with that everything will fall in place.
Once you get over your fear and inhibitions watching a partner with another man or woman is a beautiful thing. We just make sure to acknowledge each other with eye contact, a little smile, or even a little wink and a smirk. Knowing she feels good makes me feel good, plus it’s a huge turn on. Great vid as always!
It is amazing to see how many married couples reach that point of been sexually unhappy with their partner that they have to go on a promiscuous search for that sexual platonic moment that only exist in their heads, then for many reality hits.
I find it interesting you assume couples who decide together to have sex with others is due to some type of unhappiness. Believe it or not it is absolutely possible to be deeply in love with a partner and still have sex with others.
Thanks again to both of you ! Your suggestions are all spot on ! We have been in this lifestyle for a number of years, and we can't stress this point enough, but, communication is vitally important at this point in your relationship with your partner ! This lifestyle choice from the very beginning, MUST BE a decision factor for BOTH PARTNERS long before you make those choices of seeing your partner with someone else, or another couple ! I think, for us at least, it was definitely a progressive, and very comfortable turn-on for BOTH of us ! Starting, for us at least, the fantasy pillow talk, was incredibly important for us to take our relationship to that next level ! It might not happen over night, but over time ! Of course, every couple is different, and what might be right for us, may not be for another couple ! For us however, It was a number of months of fantasy pillow talk, fantasy role-play, and ultimately, fantasy fulfillment for your partner's ultimate pleasure ! Ir is, or was for us, that next new level ! It was, by that point, such an incredible turn-on for both of us, that the rest of the "fear" issues were never any kind of problem for either of us ! It was, and continues to be ALL about our partners ultimate pleasure ! A gift from one of us to the other ! We can't stress this enough ! A lot of pillow talk ! Fantasy role-play ! L O N G before the actual fantasy fulfillment for your partner's pleasure ! Remember, it's a lifestyle choice for BOTH of you as a couple and NOT a one sided choice ! Talk about it ! Talk about it ! Talk about it ! Thanks again to both of you !
You guys have been a shining light for so long and I love you guys for it. Fear & insecurities are the biggest hurdles that’s why communication is key. Ownership is not the answer.
Holding her hand is Very important to communicate, I'm not going to leave you Honey I want an open relationship.....you mean I'm not enough for you. No I don't want to put you under too much pressure to satisfy 100 percent of my needs, I'll treat you like a human, not put you on a pedistool and then get disappointed when you don't measure up to a heightened standard. It means I'm NOT going to leave you. Even if I find someone else. That is what nonexclusive means
this is something that me and my partner have issues with and it's mostly me. I cant get past seeing him happy sexually with someone else on a singular level. Im ok when we play together but me not being involved irks me. I see him doing to someone else what he does to me and he is getting satisfaction out of it. We have talked about it and i have talked about my feeling and how it makes me feel. Also i have asked how he would feel watching me play with someone else besides him and he doesn't like that. This video talk did help though.
Thank you for sharing your experience. The amazing thing about being in the lifestyle is there is many variations that you can always find someone within the community that understands your feelings. John and I started playing solo at the beginning of our relationship due to the distance but when we moved in together, that changed. We have many friends that play only as a couple and do not allow solo play within their relationship. We have talked about it before, John enjoys hearing about my dates while I prefer not to hear about his to the same extend. It is normal for both of you not to be on the same page or have the same boundaries, its all about communication and honoring each others boundaries. It sounds like you and your partner have open communication regarding boundaries so I recommend you continue to provide security within the relationship through communication. And if you believe your boundary on him playing solo is something internally, I recommend you take the time to see what it is that is causing that for you and see if it is something you can heal yourself, through your partner, or with the help of a professional to at least help you understand the root cause of your concerns.
for me, I would rather stay single forever. you all can have fun. I am happy enough with animal, my garden, pen, notebook and a book. now everyone out go have fun (k). this is just like Victoria era
Love your video’s. We have been swinging about half a dozen times . Both like to watch each other . We love each other, we have no jealousy. The friendship with the other couples are great.
It also seems like a lot of work and effort communicating all the time like that seems exhausting and then having to seek out couples sounds like a full time job lol
I love to see my partner having a good time with others!!! Its fun to see her having new experiences,,,, maybe this guy or girl can do things for them i cant or never knew... let grow and thrive to new levels 2024 2 thrive!!
My wife and I tried the open relationship stuff. She has been with women before our relationship and it was something I wanted to watch. We did invite another male for me to watch the two of them and join. She was good with that but she was very protective of another woman joining us. Unfortunately we handled the whole situation wrong. Should have never used a single male. They ended up catching feelings and texting things they shouldn’t. She cheated emotionally and with technology. Didn’t cheat physically behind my back. She really hurt me. Said some very awful things and said sexual things I can’t even get her to text me about. I enjoyed watching her but the emotional connection with someone else destroyed me. We ended the lifestyle and our marriage was almost over when I discovered what she was doing. It has taken time but our marriage has become wonderful again but I still struggle with thinking of what she did no feeling if I’m good enough. Especially package wise and other things. I think if we would’ve done things differently it would’ve been a fun lifestyle but now it’s just a sore subject. Lessons learned….NO SINGLE MALES, only group chats or no chat at all, only do couples that are experienced and understanding, more communication!
I have found your videos very helpful in figuring out how to deal with any feelings that might come up over this type of relationship. My wife and I have been together for over thirty years and we just started to test the waters of an open love. Thank you so much for your advice and stories from your experience.
Hey James, My name is Ray, and my wife's name is Linda. We have been married for almost 37yrs. Couldn't help but notice that you and your wife have been married long term, much like my wife and I ! Like you and your wife, have long ago sorted out, and realized, like my wife and I, this lifestyle choice, like everything else in our marriage, is a good partnership ! Worked out with each other, long before any kind of "fear" issues could ever be able to become an issue ! We left a bit of a long winded comment on this subject as well. And can't begin to agree with you enough ! Communication with each other, long before the actual step to be with, another couple, or man, or woman, depending on what direction you are taking your relationship with each other of course ! We are an older couple now, 63, and 64yrs. old, I think we have found a certain level of comfort zone with each other, and never found to have any kind of "fear" issues, due to a great deal of fantasy pillow talk, fantasy role-playing, and ultimately, fantasy fulfilment for each other ! For us at least, by the time we actually went to the next level, with each other, it was almost like a special gift from one of us, to the other ! Great to see other like minded long term couples here ! My wife is reminding me that I am once again becoming a bit long winded ! Have a good night !
@@quadsman11 hey I like your comment! I don't know if you will check back to read this, but I appreciate what you said because my wife and I are also in a long-term relationship, I'm almost 50 and we have been together 30 years. We have discussed fantasies here and there and are excited to someday do this for real.
@@kbanghart Thanks for your reply Plen122 Nice to chat with another let's say more mature couple ! Yep, we keep an eye on our responses ! Have you and your wife gotten beyond the fantasizing about the lifestyle to this point ? Don't get me wrong, without the fantasy of the lifestyle, nothing will ever happen beyond the thought of it ! When my wife and I first got into the lifestyle, ( well, actually, before ) We spent a lot of time talking about it during our pillow talk cuddle time ! We always found it to be a safe, quiet time for us to fantasize about the possibilities ! May we ask you if your wife is on board with the idea of pursuing the lifestyle as well ? Or is it more of your thoughts on pursuing it ! Thanks again for your reply !
I have a dream to one day meet them both and potentially play with Jackie if she was down. Shes gorgeous and just her personality draws you in. They seem like awesome people.
@@alexmason3472 I enjoy watching my wife as much as she enjoys watching me with other women. It's a win win. It's a voyeuristic thing with most couples. . But,, It's not for everyone and we never try to interfere with any others feelings. If it's not for you or your wife, move on .
Me and my man are new to the lifestyle. I’m open to him playing watching him but he don’t feel comfortable with me watching. He think I will get upset.
He only needs to fear your upset if you think he will leave you for another. Broken love songs never complain that he shared me for another, it is always " left.'...thats the entire definition of nonexclusivity.noone leaves
Respect - what a joke! Cheating on your partner with or without consent does not merit one ounce of respect - I would replace the word respect with the word shame - disgusting couple!
Well, the slogan is true - sharing is caring! Jealousy is the curse of any kind of relationship! Watching your partner with someone else is an incredible turn-on! It's not about an extra-marital relationship! It's just about sharing and enjoying the experience! Pure and enjoyable sex!
My wife and I like to talk about it and fantasize about it somewhat, it seems like a wonderful mix of jealousy and excitement, I always love thinking about it.
@@kbanghart Yes. A very strong mix of those two feelings. We’d talked about it for a good year or so with me fantasising of her with someone else. I happened to stop in the car outside her house at 5 am just as this guy was leaving. She let me in wearing only black holdups underneath her dressing gown. Her eyes were a mix of guilt and excitement, so sexy. My heart was in my mouth as the bed was a mess with the rest of her underwear strewn on the floor. It was amazing hearing what they’d been up to. This would then develop as she wanted to please him a few more times and I even selected the lingerie. I didn’t have to tell her what to do though as this lucky guy got some amazing situations when visiting again.
@@frankcardano4142 wow I love your descriptions. You should write a book lol. What I felt for my wife was so similar... We've been married a long time and separated for a while, and when we got back together she described a girl's weekend she had just been on and took a guy back to the hotel. While we had sex I had her describe the experience. Such a great time being inside her again, knowing she had felt free enough to experience pleasure with someone else.
@@kbanghart Thank you. Yours too. She loved sex and I guess the only thing missing was that newness again and we advanced from there. It’s great that you got back with yours and experienced that. I’m not sure whether it was more exciting hearing what she was going to do before or what she’d done afterwards. Before seemed to be better as she wore new underwear that I couldn’t touch. Her telling me that she would like a rampant f**k with the one guy was amazing. He even got the instant oral quickie with finish inside the front door and left whilst I waited up the street. She loved playing the part.
Not sure if this will help you with your question, but if your relationship can survive a breakup or separation, it should certainly be stronger. That's been my personal experience, anyway. One of us developed a crush on a coworker and we separated for a bit and were both intimate with other people, and then reconciled.
What happens with finances in an open relationship? You have to also be open to seeing your resources be spent on another person. How do you cope with that?
As I have shared before, my wife and I were in the lifestyle back in the 70's & 80's. I had no problem with foursomes with other married couples in the same room. It was very erotic to watch my wife and gave me a sense of pride. "Yes you can borrow her but she's going home with me." Saying that, when I hear this old song I couldn't help but wonder if is was a coded message among swingers back in that day, and that song is "You Can Dance" You can dance, go and carry on Till the night is gone, And it's time to go If he asks if you're all alone Can he walk you home, you must tell him no 'cause don't forget who's taking you home And in whose arms you're gonna be So darling... save the last dance for me This is why it is so necessary to reconnect. Yes that was for fun, but this is for forever. 55 years and still making love
It's only hard if anyone spoils the pot for everyone by wanting exclusivity Exclusivity excludes.im afraid someone else will lay a claim of exclusive ownership on you.
Interlopers only pose a threat if they want exclusiveity, In a mono society the chances are high that any interloper will want exclusivity and so be the much feared homewrecker. Exclusiveity excludes. So what if you build a relationship on exclusivity? The result is a home built on borrowed ice
I would suggest getting on our Openlove101 site and reading some of the Ask John & Jackie blogs. openlove101.com/?s=ask+john+and+jackie I will say your question is a common one and a question I feel could be addressed in a video. Thanks for commenting. John & I will get to work on filming our views on what happens when our partner or ourself develops feelings for others, or what we can even do about it, if it happens.
So what if you get feelings for another, true committed love loose its exclusive nature in a heartbeat, cos you value her higher than exclusivity. The danger lies in developing exclusive feelings for another, Exclusivity is the active ingredient by which an interloper becomes a homewrecker. Exclusivity looses its loving nature when valued in a relationship, love loses its exclusive nature when faced with losing your pair bonded lover to another.
This might sound odd, but it helps if you have been through a breakup or separation. I mean, yes that obviously can lead to divorce, but I mean if you make it through that, then you'll be so much stronger and things will change. It certainly did with my wife and i.
Open relationships is just a “sexual desire relationship” Why? Both partners resort to sexual activity than the actual mutual relationship of the two. Open relationship: is more on the sex lust life than love for one another.
Thank you guys for posting these videos! We are dabbling in the LS. We have already had a threesome and it was fine. My biggest fear is that I am not “big” at all and seeing a well endowed man with my wife may make me feel self-conscious. My wife tells me that I shouldn’t but that is a real fear I have. In your opinions, do you think a man’s size is a vital part of this LS and enjoying someone else? Would love to hear your thoughts.
You are not the first man to question his size upon entering the lifestyle. Not to get too technical, but I did a little digging on the internet and found a few interesting pieces of information. 1) according to one study the average erect penis size is 5.1-5.5 inches. 2) an aroused woman's vagina measures 4.25-4.75 inches. From what I've seen in the lifestyle, a man's penis size is not a vital part. How's the saying go..."it's not the size of the boat that matters, it's the motion of the ocean."
@@openlove101 Thank you for responding to me! I am unfortunately, south of those dimensions. So, what does Jackie think about this? Thanks for insight guys!
As a woman not in the lifestyle but my mate was for many years, I can say he tells me my size is small/average. He used to be 7" which meant he had to go slow and be careful to begin with.I was with one man who was larger and thicker and it was a bad experience even though he was trying to be careful. I had aprior mate who was quite small which posed zero problem. Size for me just isnt an issue except too large but again I am below average...its all the rest that makes the difference. Dont worry about it. I would say...you are going to find women who PREFER your size for sure!
@@latinaalma1947 thank you so much for the encouragement! I have been with one woman that gave me a bit of a complex, due to size, but I did seem to please her in other ways. Again, thank you for the kind words and I am trying to get bigger in that department through natural means. It is still an issue for me, but I am now doing something to change it. 😁
@@chadmccormick1412 I wish you didnt feel the need to try to increase your size, I honestly would PREFER you to someone large...average size in a man is all I can handle, the max for me and I know I am not alone. There ARE women with large vaginas who DO seek either more length or width or both but to the majority of women size is not an issue as Jackie says. Possibly the woman who said that to you was one..but if you thought of it as HER issues , not yours,,as it really was, you could feel perfectly accepting of yourself.AS YOU SHOULD! I can assure the extra large man who could barely enter me at all and had as much unfun a time as I had, didnt think of himself in a negative way, but I didnt think of myself that way either, just that we werent well matched him being near the top of male size and me being on the small size for a woman. Women can be pleasured in SO many ways and so can men...intercourse need not be the main event with everyone you have sexplay with and both genders can certainly orgasm in other very happy ways. If you have interest in THOSE activities and not just intercourse you can please any woman because one or more of those ways is going to bring a woman to orgasm. Fewer women orgasm via intercourse than any other way! So says all the sex research and I am a clinical psychologist so I really KNOW the many decades of research on this topic. I paid attention when I was learning this because it was true of ME for a long time..only in recent years could I orgasm via intercourse it was always oral for me. Because I loved oral so much, I got to be very good at it on my mate, the former swinger. He says I am the best he has ever experienced. I tend to shut the cogitive part of my brain completely down when doing that on him so I go at it with abandon which really excites him and me. The more you can get into using either your fingers or mouth or some non penile stimulation with a woman in addition to your penis.the better your skill with that, you will attract women in swinging who prefer that specialty technique and women pass the word around about your unique skill level! Doesnt THAT sound great?,ANd you will be sought after. Swingers have multiple partners in a night, so women who love that special talent YOU have will include you in the roster of people they want to meet up,with. Nice, right? They will be there WANTING you! That doesnt mean you wont get intercourse it will be part.of it! Hooray! My mate tells me I would be especially popular for my oral skills if I were in swinging..I likely will never do it but as a clinical psychologist I am very interested in everything about it because sexual pleasure is such an important part of a persons life and psychological functioning. Warmest wishes for increasing your HAPPINESS,,THAT is the goal right? You are far far from just any one body part! You have SO much pleasure to GIVE a woman! Hugs, Sybil Francis PhD clinical psychologist professor
@@matthewfuller2309 we don’t full swap only with other ladies. he’s not comfortable sharing me which I think also plays into how I feel about it. it’s mostly fear of abandonment and jealousy.
The only thing keeping this relationship together is the business…if they divorce their business goes down with them because this idea of an open relationship is fundamentally flawed.
I understand communication is key and that is an important rule in relationships period. Your comments on you just get used to it sounds like defeatism and a bit depressing.
Hey guys this my dalima I’ve never had a 3some with 2 girls before and I want 1 but my fiancé has had a few with just 1 man her and another woman now the problem is that she wants a 3some with 2guys! N I just don’t know how to deal with it. It was ok when the thought was me and her with another girl but another guy what if he bigger then me?what if I don’t stay hard an she notices n I ruin for her because I’m uncomfortable? I need help?!?
What is yall relationship based on? I don't imagine his feelings being hurt if you left, unless yalls money is intertwined. Buddy don't care if you there or somewhere else.
Your attitude speaks all. He would be heart broken if she left. Broken love songs always complain that she LEFT me for another, never that she shared me for another. The entire point of nonexclusivity is that sharing does NOT result in leaving. once you realise the full corrolaries of that, it makes a whole lot more sense. It makes the difference between free will alone, and unending love plus free will
I think this video speaks to everyone, particularly those who aren't in an open relationship. I have many friends who freak out at the idea of their partner being with another. Their fears always seem to stem from feelings of jealousy, ownership, and having a negative self image, and it's for these same reasons why so many people struggle to cope with breakups and move on, and often become bitterly resentful and vengeful. I think the traditional attitudes towards the exclusivity of monogamy deserve to be challenged for what they are doing to people.
Noone should own their partner, Mono assumes that the highest form of intimate emotional attachment is exclusivity. This is not love this is pathological ownership
@@SR77736 I'm assuming you're disagreeing with 'no one should own their partner' Ok, so let's hear a rational case for owning your partner, and how that can go well without turning extremely toxic. Remember stick to the rules of logic
So long as your both ok with it as they say its your thing do what you want. My problem comes with one partner, who never duscussed this PRIOR to entering into what the other partner assumed was a exclusive relationship. Then gets verbally abused as insecure or controlling for not agreeing to it and walks away. Trust is like a mirrior. Once broken it can be repaired but it will never reflect the same imiage of what it once did.
It just seems so much like a sacred thing, sex between a man and woman who are in love. Do any of you have any worries about later in life not being able to erase these things from your mind? Its like really the only thing that a couple has is just the emotional connection and love. Physical bodies fade and eventually other partners become harder and harder to find and then your just left with memories and it just seems like it would be so hard to unsee some of the things that had happened.
Not sure if this answers your question, but just for me personally, my wife and I have both been intimate with other people while separated, and we reconciled and now our marriage is stronger than ever. So it all just depends on the partnership. And as far as remembering things that happened, that is part of the fun of it. If that is a negative experience like you said, then I agree with you, some couples should never do this.
I am not in the lifestyle but have been with my partner many decades and he was with his wife. He loved his times swinging and over the years he has described much of it to me. I am a clnical psychologist so am accustomed to hearing very detailed sexual case histories of patients. However it is different when it is someone you love deeply and are committed to. I have never been jealous of what he has told me threesomes, soft swap, DP, all these things nor the recommection sex he and his wife always concluded with. Shortly after we gotmtogether she wanted to come back to him saying she had made a mistake leaving him for someone else (not met in swinging) and he told her he had met someone else...I was there but stepped outside when he received her call somehow I knew it was a very intimate call. So I dont feel insecure about her or anyone he met swinging. He talks about them like some talk about friends with benefits which I totally understand.
Ooorrrrr maybe I'm viewing it wrong and sex is yalls hobby. If sex is a game, play ball. But I as a guy want sex to be sacred. And it's not. sex is not sacred nor special. I'm struggling.
It's all good, it means different things to different people. For me and my wife, sex with someone else would be fun, but me and my wife have a bond that is only ours.
You don't. You recognize it for the mockery of marriage and validation that it would be and you leave. You hire a divorce attorney and never look back.
Something triggered this to appear in your suggested video feed. Maybe deep down you'd like to see your partner get the livin' sh!t F'ked right out of them 😲.
Actually I think part of what's wrong with America is stuff like little or no paid family leave, low wages and hours, healthcare and child care cost, etc but hey what do I know.
if gf ask me for open relationship i will open doors for her on the way out... then close door and end relationship in same time...92% of this end up with divorce/breakup,but you still dont care spread this nonsense and destroy someone lives to apologize it for yourself,disgusting!
same here, I would rather stay single forever and have a garden and a small house alone. than this kind of life style, yuck! people who do this are people who are afraid to be alone. I think this kind of life style was same kind of victorian era.
![Twenty One Pilots - The Line (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Audio]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XCz7WUotXs8/mqdefault.jpg)
You guys have been a shining light for so long and I love you guys for it. Fear & insecurities are the biggest hurdles that’s why communication is key. Ownership is not the answer. If you truly love someone be ok with letting them go. When you come to terms with that everything will fall in place.
Once you get over your fear and inhibitions watching a partner with another man or woman is a beautiful thing. We just make sure to acknowledge each other with eye contact, a little smile, or even a little wink and a smirk. Knowing she feels good makes me feel good, plus it’s a huge turn on. Great vid as always!
Eye contact communication is everything!!!!
That's super hot!!
It is good meeting up with what you are looking for
Love to enjoy meeting up with you two ❤️
I agree, there isn't much better then watching the pleasure on her face
It is amazing to see how many married couples reach that point of been sexually unhappy with their partner that they have to go on a promiscuous search for that sexual platonic moment that only exist in their heads, then for many reality hits.
I find it interesting you assume couples who decide together to have sex with others is due to some type of unhappiness. Believe it or not it is absolutely possible to be deeply in love with a partner and still have sex with others.
It’s amazing to have you guys addressing such important topics, it always helps me on how to approach my partner about my feelings and fears
Same here its helped us both be better as a couple and as swingers ❤we love this lifestyle
Thanks again to both of you !
Your suggestions are all spot on !
We have been in this lifestyle for a number of years,
and we can't stress this point enough,
but, communication is vitally important at this point in your relationship with your partner !
This lifestyle choice from the very beginning, MUST BE a decision factor for BOTH PARTNERS long before you make those choices of seeing your partner with someone else, or another couple !
I think, for us at least, it was definitely a progressive, and very comfortable turn-on for BOTH of us !
Starting, for us at least, the fantasy pillow talk, was incredibly important for us to take our relationship to that next level !
It might not happen over night, but over time !
Of course, every couple is different, and what might be right for us, may not be for another couple !
For us however,
It was a number of months of fantasy pillow talk,
fantasy role-play, and ultimately, fantasy fulfillment for your partner's ultimate pleasure !
Ir is, or was for us,
that next new level !
It was, by that point, such an incredible turn-on for both of us, that the rest of the "fear" issues were never any kind of problem for either of us !
It was, and continues to be ALL about our partners ultimate pleasure !
A gift from one of us to the other !
We can't stress this enough !
A lot of pillow talk !
Fantasy role-play !
L O N G before the actual fantasy fulfillment for your partner's pleasure !
Remember, it's a lifestyle choice for BOTH of you as a couple and NOT a one sided choice !
Talk about it !
Talk about it !
Talk about it !
Thanks again to both of you !
Better if you meet genuine people nice to meet couples X David
Be nice to hear have you met anyone x
We have been in the LS for 23yrs.
It all comes down to respect and our communication with each other, before we are with someone and after.
You guys have been a shining light for so long and I love you guys for it. Fear & insecurities are the biggest hurdles that’s why communication is key. Ownership is not the answer.
Thank you!
The amount of mental Olympics you must go through to make this NOT be painful is genuinely astonishing.
Truly horrible people.. disgusting.
This is painful just watching this.
Nobody is actually ok with this, they just pretend it doesn't hurt or they don't care.
You guys are a great couple very inspiring and wonderful at explaining everything my partner and i love your videos thank you
Just hold her hand and watch her enjoy
Holding her hand is Very important to communicate, I'm not going to leave you
Honey I want an open relationship.....you mean I'm not enough for you.
No I don't want to put you under too much pressure to satisfy 100 percent of my needs, I'll treat you like a human, not put you on a pedistool and then get disappointed when you don't measure up to a heightened standard.
It means I'm NOT going to leave you. Even if I find someone else. That is what nonexclusive means
@@AdamEdington “I’m not going to leave you…as long as I can bang other women.” How loving!
🤢🤢🤮
this is something that me and my partner have issues with and it's mostly me. I cant get past seeing him happy sexually with someone else on a singular level. Im ok when we play together but me not being involved irks me. I see him doing to someone else what he does to me and he is getting satisfaction out of it. We have talked about it and i have talked about my feeling and how it makes me feel. Also i have asked how he would feel watching me play with someone else besides him and he doesn't like that. This video talk did help though.
Same here! But my partner is enjoying the other woman emotionally a lot due to long distances which is more scary for me
Thank you for sharing your experience. The amazing thing about being in the lifestyle is there is many variations that you can always find someone within the community that understands your feelings. John and I started playing solo at the beginning of our relationship due to the distance but when we moved in together, that changed. We have many friends that play only as a couple and do not allow solo play within their relationship. We have talked about it before, John enjoys hearing about my dates while I prefer not to hear about his to the same extend. It is normal for both of you not to be on the same page or have the same boundaries, its all about communication and honoring each others boundaries. It sounds like you and your partner have open communication regarding boundaries so I recommend you continue to provide security within the relationship through communication. And if you believe your boundary on him playing solo is something internally, I recommend you take the time to see what it is that is causing that for you and see if it is something you can heal yourself, through your partner, or with the help of a professional to at least help you understand the root cause of your concerns.
We would like to see Jackie with other people 😊
for me, I would rather stay single forever. you all can have fun. I am happy enough with animal, my garden, pen, notebook and a book. now everyone out go have fun (k). this is just like Victoria era
Love your video’s. We have been swinging about half a dozen times . Both like to watch each other . We love each other, we have no jealousy. The friendship with the other couples are great.
It also seems like a lot of work and effort communicating all the time like that seems exhausting and then having to seek out couples sounds like a full time job lol
I love to see my partner having a good time with others!!! Its fun to see her having new experiences,,,, maybe this guy or girl can do things for them i cant or never knew... let grow and thrive to new levels 2024 2 thrive!!
Someone always get hurt in the end next 5 years tell me
Love what you are both doing to normalise the general perception of alternative lifestyle choices.
Thank you, again! You guys are really helpful and interesting!
Don't know when the switch was flipped either, but it did, and it's very enjoyable for us both; great now!
My wife and I tried the open relationship stuff. She has been with women before our relationship and it was something I wanted to watch. We did invite another male for me to watch the two of them and join. She was good with that but she was very protective of another woman joining us. Unfortunately we handled the whole situation wrong. Should have never used a single male. They ended up catching feelings and texting things they shouldn’t. She cheated emotionally and with technology. Didn’t cheat physically behind my back. She really hurt me. Said some very awful things and said sexual things I can’t even get her to text me about. I enjoyed watching her but the emotional connection with someone else destroyed me. We ended the lifestyle and our marriage was almost over when I discovered what she was doing. It has taken time but our marriage has become wonderful again but I still struggle with thinking of what she did no feeling if I’m good enough. Especially package wise and other things. I think if we would’ve done things differently it would’ve been a fun lifestyle but now it’s just a sore subject. Lessons learned….NO SINGLE MALES, only group chats or no chat at all, only do couples that are experienced and understanding, more communication!
Are You From Ohio
Loveeeeee from INDIA!! I ADORE HOW,U TOO LOOK INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES.
I have found your videos very helpful in figuring out how to deal with any feelings that might come up over this type of relationship. My wife and I have been together for over thirty years and we just started to test the waters of an open love. Thank you so much for your advice and stories from your experience.
Hey James,
My name is Ray, and my wife's name is Linda.
We have been married for almost 37yrs.
Couldn't help but notice that you and your wife have been married long term, much like my
wife and I !
Like you and your wife, have long ago sorted out, and realized, like my wife and I, this lifestyle choice, like everything else in our marriage, is a good partnership !
Worked out with each other, long before any kind of "fear" issues could ever be able to become an issue !
We left a bit of a long winded comment on this subject as well.
And can't begin to agree with you enough !
Communication with each other, long before the actual step to be with, another couple, or man, or woman, depending on what direction you are taking your relationship with each other of course !
We are an older couple now,
63, and 64yrs. old,
I think we have found a certain level of comfort zone with each other, and never found to have any kind of "fear" issues,
due to a great deal of fantasy pillow talk,
fantasy role-playing,
and ultimately, fantasy fulfilment for each other !
For us at least,
by the time we actually went to the next level, with each other, it was almost like a special gift from one of us, to the other !
Great to see other like minded long term couples here !
My wife is reminding me that I am once again becoming a bit long winded !
Have a good night !
@@quadsman11 hey I like your comment! I don't know if you will check back to read this, but I appreciate what you said because my wife and I are also in a long-term relationship, I'm almost 50 and we have been together 30 years. We have discussed fantasies here and there and are excited to someday do this for real.
@@kbanghart
Thanks for your reply Plen122
Nice to chat with another let's say more mature couple !
Yep, we keep an eye on our responses !
Have you and your wife gotten beyond the fantasizing about the lifestyle to this point ?
Don't get me wrong, without the fantasy of the lifestyle, nothing will ever happen beyond the thought of it !
When my wife and I first got into the lifestyle,
( well, actually, before )
We spent a lot of time talking about it during our pillow talk cuddle time !
We always found it to be a safe, quiet time for us to fantasize about the possibilities !
May we ask you if your wife is on board with the idea of pursuing the lifestyle as well ?
Or is it more of your thoughts on pursuing it !
Thanks again for your reply !
Hey, to each their own I guess. Whatever knocks your socks off. This lifestyle is not for everyone. DEFINITELY not for us.
I have a dream to one day meet them both and potentially play with Jackie if she was down. Shes gorgeous and just her personality draws you in. They seem like awesome people.
My wife throughly enjoys watching me and I am always trying to find enough guys for my wife.
Be nice to chat with you two x
Your kids must be so proud of you.
But how can you enjoy that?
@@alexmason3472 I enjoy watching my wife as much as she enjoys watching me with other women. It's a win win. It's a voyeuristic thing with most couples. .
But,, It's not for everyone and we never try to interfere with any others feelings. If it's not for you or your wife, move on .
@@rvplaycpl5026 Are You From Ohio?
Me and my man are new to the lifestyle. I’m open to him playing watching him but he don’t feel comfortable with me watching. He think I will get upset.
Would you be open to joining in?
He only needs to fear your upset if you think he will leave you for another.
Broken love songs never complain that he shared me for another, it is always " left.'...thats the entire definition of nonexclusivity.noone leaves
That's the fun letting your wife enjoy being with a man love chat with you two x
@@trulygrateful7217 Hello be nice to chat x David
WOW...... you girl and your hair is FANTASTIC !!!!!!...
It's ok , it's Swing
I like yours lifestyle. Greetings.
All respect to Both of you
Respect - what a joke! Cheating on your partner with or without consent does not merit one ounce of respect - I would replace the word respect with the word shame - disgusting couple!
Well, the slogan is true - sharing is caring! Jealousy is the curse of any kind of relationship! Watching your partner with someone else is an incredible turn-on! It's not about an extra-marital relationship! It's just about sharing and enjoying the experience! Pure and enjoyable sex!
My wife and I like to talk about it and fantasize about it somewhat, it seems like a wonderful mix of jealousy and excitement, I always love thinking about it.
@@kbanghart
Yes. A very strong mix of those two feelings. We’d talked about it for a good year or so with me fantasising of her with someone else.
I happened to stop in the car outside her house at 5 am just as this guy was leaving. She let me in wearing only black holdups underneath her dressing gown.
Her eyes were a mix of guilt and excitement, so sexy.
My heart was in my mouth as the bed was a mess with the rest of her underwear strewn on the floor.
It was amazing hearing what they’d been up to.
This would then develop as she wanted to please him a few more times and I even selected the lingerie.
I didn’t have to tell her what to do though as this lucky guy got some amazing situations when visiting again.
@@frankcardano4142 wow I love your descriptions. You should write a book lol.
What I felt for my wife was so similar... We've been married a long time and separated for a while, and when we got back together she described a girl's weekend she had just been on and took a guy back to the hotel. While we had sex I had her describe the experience. Such a great time being inside her again, knowing she had felt free enough to experience pleasure with someone else.
@@kbanghart
Thank you. Yours too.
She loved sex and I guess the only thing missing was that newness again and we advanced from there.
It’s great that you got back with yours and experienced that. I’m not sure whether it was more exciting hearing what she was going to do before or what she’d done afterwards.
Before seemed to be better as she wore new underwear that I couldn’t touch.
Her telling me that she would like a rampant f**k with the one guy was amazing.
He even got the instant oral quickie with finish inside the front door and left whilst I waited up the street.
She loved playing the part.
Have either of you ever fallen in love with another person and if so how did you deal with that?
Not sure if this will help you with your question, but if your relationship can survive a breakup or separation, it should certainly be stronger. That's been my personal experience, anyway. One of us developed a crush on a coworker and we separated for a bit and were both intimate with other people, and then reconciled.
What happens with finances in an open relationship? You have to also be open to seeing your resources be spent on another person. How do you cope with that?
Whether or not finances are spent on others is entirely up to those in the relationship.
As I have shared before, my wife and I were in the lifestyle back in the 70's & 80's. I had no problem with foursomes with other married couples in the same room. It was very erotic to watch my wife and gave me a sense of pride. "Yes you can borrow her but she's going home with me." Saying that, when I hear this old song I couldn't help but wonder if is was a coded message among swingers back in that day, and that song is "You Can Dance"
You can dance, go and carry on
Till the night is gone, And it's time to go
If he asks if you're all alone
Can he walk you home, you must tell him no
'cause don't forget who's taking you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darling... save the last dance for me
This is why it is so necessary to reconnect. Yes that was for fun, but this is for forever.
55 years and still making love
Thank you …. Awesome video
Deberían hacer una serie en Netflix con sus experiencias sexuales...!!!
Love you Both
It's only hard if anyone spoils the pot for everyone by wanting exclusivity
Exclusivity excludes.im afraid someone else will lay a claim of exclusive ownership on you.
It's ok , love swing
Interlopers only pose a threat if they want exclusiveity,
In a mono society the chances are high that any interloper will want exclusivity and so be the much feared homewrecker.
Exclusiveity excludes. So what if you build a relationship on exclusivity? The result is a home built on borrowed ice
The way he looks at her...
I have a question: How do you deal with if you get feelings for others?
Or your spouse has feelings for that other individual. I worry about both.
I would suggest getting on our Openlove101 site and reading some of the Ask John & Jackie blogs. openlove101.com/?s=ask+john+and+jackie I will say your question is a common one and a question I feel could be addressed in a video. Thanks for commenting. John & I will get to work on filming our views on what happens when our partner or ourself develops feelings for others, or what we can even do about it, if it happens.
So what if you get feelings for another, true committed love loose its exclusive nature in a heartbeat, cos you value her higher than exclusivity.
The danger lies in developing exclusive feelings for another,
Exclusivity is the active ingredient by which an interloper becomes a homewrecker.
Exclusivity looses its loving nature when valued in a relationship, love loses its exclusive nature when faced with losing your pair bonded lover to another.
This might sound odd, but it helps if you have been through a breakup or separation. I mean, yes that obviously can lead to divorce, but I mean if you make it through that, then you'll be so much stronger and things will change. It certainly did with my wife and i.
Open relationships is just a “sexual desire relationship”
Why?
Both partners resort to sexual activity than the actual mutual relationship of the two.
Open relationship: is more on the sex lust life than love for one another.
Wife loves the Hot Wife lifestyle!
Do you get jealous?
@@kbanghart No. Guess like John in that regard. But it does take a mental adjustment . Allowing for her pleasure over your “ownership “ sort of.
@@meteor1237 makes sense. I always get excited when my wife has a dream about a threesome, another guy joining in.
@@meteor1237 Are You From Ohio?
Thank you guys for posting these videos! We are dabbling in the LS. We have already had a threesome and it was fine. My biggest fear is that I am not “big” at all and seeing a well endowed man with my wife may make me feel self-conscious. My wife tells me that I shouldn’t but that is a real fear I have. In your opinions, do you think a man’s size is a vital part of this LS and enjoying someone else? Would love to hear your thoughts.
You are not the first man to question his size upon entering the lifestyle. Not to get too technical, but I did a little digging on the internet and found a few interesting pieces of information. 1) according to one study the average erect penis size is 5.1-5.5 inches. 2) an aroused woman's vagina measures 4.25-4.75 inches. From what I've seen in the lifestyle, a man's penis size is not a vital part. How's the saying go..."it's not the size of the boat that matters, it's the motion of the ocean."
@@openlove101 Thank you for responding to me! I am unfortunately, south of those dimensions. So, what does Jackie think about this?
Thanks for insight guys!
As a woman not in the lifestyle but my mate was for many years, I can say he tells me my size is small/average. He used to be 7" which meant he had to go slow and be careful to begin with.I was with one man who was larger and thicker and it was a bad experience even though he was trying to be careful. I had aprior mate who was quite small which posed zero problem. Size for me just isnt an issue except too large but again I am below average...its all the rest that makes the difference. Dont worry about it. I would say...you are going to find women who PREFER your size for sure!
@@latinaalma1947 thank you so much for the encouragement! I have been with one woman that gave me a bit of a complex, due to size, but I did seem to please her in other ways. Again, thank you for the kind words and I am trying to get bigger in that department through natural means. It is still an issue for me, but I am now doing something to change it. 😁
@@chadmccormick1412 I wish you didnt feel the need to try to increase your size, I honestly would PREFER you to someone large...average size in a man is all I can handle, the max for me and I know I am not alone. There ARE women with large vaginas who DO seek either more length or width or both but to the majority of women size is not an issue as Jackie says. Possibly the woman who said that to you was one..but if you thought of it as HER issues , not yours,,as it really was, you could feel perfectly accepting of yourself.AS YOU SHOULD! I can assure the extra large man who could barely enter me at all and had as much unfun a time as I had, didnt think of himself in a negative way, but I didnt think of myself that way either, just that we werent well matched him being near the top of male size and me being on the small size for a woman. Women can be pleasured in SO many ways and so can men...intercourse need not be the main event with everyone you have sexplay with and both genders can certainly orgasm in other very happy ways. If you have interest in THOSE activities and not just intercourse you can please any woman because one or more of those ways is going to bring a woman to orgasm. Fewer women orgasm via intercourse than any other way! So says all the sex research and I am a clinical psychologist so I really KNOW the many decades of research on this topic. I paid attention when I was learning this because it was true of ME for a long time..only in recent years could I orgasm via intercourse it was always oral for me. Because I loved oral so much, I got to be very good at it on my mate, the former swinger. He says I am the best he has ever experienced. I tend to shut the cogitive part of my brain completely down when doing that on him so I go at it with abandon which really excites him and me. The more you can get into using either your fingers or mouth or some non penile stimulation with a woman in addition to your penis.the better your skill with that, you will attract women in swinging who prefer that specialty technique and women pass the word around about your unique skill level! Doesnt THAT sound great?,ANd you will be sought after. Swingers have multiple partners in a night, so women who love that special talent YOU have will include you in the roster of people they want to meet up,with. Nice, right? They will be there WANTING you! That doesnt mean you wont get intercourse it will be part.of it! Hooray!
My mate tells me I would be especially popular for my oral skills if I were in swinging..I likely will never do it but as a clinical psychologist I am very interested in everything about it because sexual pleasure is such an important part of a persons life and psychological functioning.
Warmest wishes for increasing your HAPPINESS,,THAT is the goal right? You are far far from just any one body part! You have SO much pleasure to GIVE a woman!
Hugs, Sybil Francis PhD clinical psychologist professor
it’s so harddddd 😭😭😭
It really is. Still trying to get my partner to take the plunge
@@matthewfuller2309 be patient. i’ve taken the plunge for my partner and it doesn’t get any easier
@@itsbrittniewitchh5191 is it jealousy? And is it a full swap or him just watching
@@matthewfuller2309 we don’t full swap only with other ladies. he’s not comfortable sharing me which I think also plays into how I feel about it.
it’s mostly fear of abandonment and jealousy.
@@matthewfuller2309 be nice to chat with you X David
Were do I fine a girl to join...
The only thing keeping this relationship together is the business…if they divorce their business goes down with them because this idea of an open relationship is fundamentally flawed.
Oh give me a break. With that logic it also means if a monogamous couple divorces then their relationship must be fundamentally flawed too.
Old saying, You go home with who brung yah.
I understand communication is key and that is an important rule in relationships period. Your comments on you just get used to it sounds like defeatism and a bit depressing.
What a horrible couple. Let me know when you divorce.
12 years together and going strong!!! Why would you want people to divorce?
@@openlove101 because your not only lying to yourselves, but your lying to every who believe you.
Hey guys this my dalima I’ve never had a 3some with 2 girls before and I want 1 but my fiancé has had a few with just 1 man her and another woman now the problem is that she wants a 3some with 2guys! N I just don’t know how to deal with it. It was ok when the thought was me and her with another girl but another guy what if he bigger then me?what if I don’t stay hard an she notices n I ruin for her because I’m uncomfortable? I need help?!?
Let her don’t you you be selfish otherwise she will behind your back
What is yall relationship based on? I don't imagine his feelings being hurt if you left, unless yalls money is intertwined. Buddy don't care if you there or somewhere else.
Your attitude speaks all.
He would be heart broken if she left.
Broken love songs always complain that she LEFT me for another, never that she shared me for another.
The entire point of nonexclusivity is that sharing does NOT result in leaving. once you realise the full corrolaries of that, it makes a whole lot more sense.
It makes the difference between free will alone, and unending love plus free will
That's weird, why bring money into it?
I think this video speaks to everyone, particularly those who aren't in an open relationship. I have many friends who freak out at the idea of their partner being with another. Their fears always seem to stem from feelings of jealousy, ownership, and having a negative self image, and it's for these same reasons why so many people struggle to cope with breakups and move on, and often become bitterly resentful and vengeful. I think the traditional attitudes towards the exclusivity of monogamy deserve to be challenged for what they are doing to people.
Noone should own their partner,
Mono assumes that the highest form of intimate emotional attachment is exclusivity. This is not love this is pathological ownership
LOL no you totally missed the point.
@@kbanghart see their podcasts on letting go of control, and unfounded fears
@@AdamEdington very cool thank you
That's YOUR opinion. I disagree.
@@SR77736 I'm assuming you're disagreeing with 'no one should own their partner'
Ok, so let's hear a rational case for owning your partner, and how that can go well without turning extremely toxic.
Remember stick to the rules of logic
So long as your both ok with it as they say its your thing do what you want. My problem comes with one partner, who never duscussed this PRIOR to entering into what the other partner assumed was a exclusive relationship. Then gets verbally abused as insecure or controlling for not agreeing to it and walks away. Trust is like a mirrior. Once broken it can be repaired but it will never reflect the same imiage of what it once did.
What about pregnancy
What about it? There's the day after pill, condoms....
...how about, he has 11 inches and after he's done, I no longer fit
It just seems so much like a sacred thing, sex between a man and woman who are in love. Do any of you have any worries about later in life not being able to erase these things from your mind? Its like really the only thing that a couple has is just the emotional connection and love. Physical bodies fade and eventually other partners become harder and harder to find and then your just left with memories and it just seems like it would be so hard to unsee some of the things that had happened.
Not sure if this answers your question, but just for me personally, my wife and I have both been intimate with other people while separated, and we reconciled and now our marriage is stronger than ever. So it all just depends on the partnership.
And as far as remembering things that happened, that is part of the fun of it. If that is a negative experience like you said, then I agree with you, some couples should never do this.
I am not in the lifestyle but have been with my partner many decades and he was with his wife. He loved his times swinging and over the years he has described much of it to me. I am a clnical psychologist so am accustomed to hearing very detailed sexual case histories of patients. However it is different when it is someone you love deeply and are committed to. I have never been jealous of what he has told me threesomes, soft swap, DP, all these things nor the recommection sex he and his wife always concluded with. Shortly after we gotmtogether she wanted to come back to him saying she had made a mistake leaving him for someone else (not met in swinging) and he told her he had met someone else...I was there but stepped outside when he received her call somehow I knew it was a very intimate call. So I dont feel insecure about her or anyone he met swinging. He talks about them like some talk about friends with benefits which I totally understand.
Ooorrrrr maybe I'm viewing it wrong and sex is yalls hobby. If sex is a game, play ball. But I as a guy want sex to be sacred. And it's not. sex is not sacred nor special. I'm struggling.
It's all good, it means different things to different people. For me and my wife, sex with someone else would be fun, but me and my wife have a bond that is only ours.
Sounds a bit silly but does size matter when you are in the lifestyle if you know what i mean
00000 it turns me on to see my wife how she enjoy a nother parner i love it to the bone exciting nice and then wen its my turn she gives me ALL ❤❤❤❤❤
How much discusting
Made sax vedeo saxe
Why even get married?
Because we love each other. 😊
@@openlove101no you don’t. You’re just a convenience for each other.
You don't. You recognize it for the mockery of marriage and validation that it would be and you leave. You hire a divorce attorney and never look back.
WTH why am I getting this? This is what’s wrong with America no morals
Something triggered this to appear in your suggested video feed. Maybe deep down you'd like to see your partner get the livin' sh!t F'ked right out of them 😲.
@@motoarzan791 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@motoarzan791 or she was already fucking lol
@@matthewfuller2309 probably true.
Actually I think part of what's wrong with America is stuff like little or no paid family leave, low wages and hours, healthcare and child care cost, etc but hey what do I know.
if gf ask me for open relationship i will open doors for her on the way out... then close door and end relationship in same time...92% of this end up with divorce/breakup,but you still dont care spread this nonsense and destroy someone lives to apologize it for yourself,disgusting!
same here, I would rather stay single forever and have a garden and a small house alone. than this kind of life style, yuck! people who do this are people who are afraid to be alone. I think this kind of life style was same kind of victorian era.