The Horoscope Conspiracy
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- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
- The Horoscope Conspiracy
Ok before the video I promised a face reveal at 25k which I thought would take a few months but it happened in one so here it is, its photos that have never been uploaded online so you cant reverse image search my name unfortunately but if you recognise me then sup, but if not then you will have to wait for the 100k identity reveal. Ok so there was the solar eclipse that happened recently and in the UK it was a bit disappointing if im going to be honest, we had a partial eclipse for like 5 minutes at best so for most people it wasn’t that big of a deal but what I did see was a whole lot of horoscope tomfoolery. A lot of people genuinely believed the moon blocking the sun temporarily will have a meaningful effect on their lives. I mean it did if you were dumb as the the google search trends for my eyes hurt coincidently peaks with the path of the solar eclipse which is just comedy gold. But anyway im here to tell you that horoscopes can actually have a profound effect on your life but not for the reasons that you may think, they cant predict your behaviour or explain why you are an idiot but they have a much more sinister effect. My conspiracy is that horoscopes and astrology is just the modern version of ancient magic that was used to summon demons. Now bare with me okay this one actually has a bit of merit to it but before we get to that we have to explain how horoscopes work. So a horoscope is just a chart that shows the alignment of different celestial bodies when you were born. And there are cutoff dates for each sign with most of them starting in the middle of a month and then lasting 30 days before it’s the next signs cutoff date. Astrologers are people who claim to be able to read these signs and then after taking a payment can tell you your future, to anyone who actually believes in horoscopes based on what you have seen of me so far would you be able to guess what my horoscope is ? ill make it a little easier for you and whittle It down to just 4 choices. Am I an aquarias? A cancer? A Leo? Or a Libra? Ok locked in your choices? Well its wrong because im actually a scorpio didn’t see that one coming did you, now you might be thinking oh that’s such a scorpio thing to do well I lied im actually a virgo so hows that for you eh? Ok so say if you actually believed in this thing and you went to an astrologer and paid them to read your future this is usually the type of slop you will get back after you tell them your sign and whatnot. “ hmm yess I can see in the crystal ball that you have a very “insert human emotion here” and that recently “insert common life event here” oh also it shows here that you are having trouble with “insert relationship here” and what you really need to do is “insert common advice here” “ and then basic hoes will be like yes that is sooo me, well no shi its soo you its also so everyone else. It also is used pretty commonly to skirt responsibility for ones own behaviour, like no you didn’t run over my dog because you’re a pistachio youre just a horrible driver. And no you aren’t acting like a pain in the arse because mercury is in Gatorade you just lack the ability to control your emotions. Imagine if that type of argument actually held up in court, “your honour the defendant couldn’t have possibly skinned that family alive and worn their skins like a skinsuit because her horoscope of the day was actually “ you are going to have an uneventful day” so I put it to the jury that skinning a family alive and making a skinsuit is in fact eventful ergo my defendant Is innocent. “well that’s a pretty darned argument you have sir but your defendant is still wearing the skinsuit” “well judge that can simply be explained by the fact that her current horoscope of the day says “you will wear a skinsuit" “guilty, Death penalty” and because horoscopes are super vague and have no unanimous consensus on behaviours you can kind of get away with just saying anything. This may be harsh but if I find out that you genuinely believe in horoscopes then I automatically assume you are lower IQ call me judgemental but my judgement usually serves me right especially in the case of horoscopes. However if you read pessimistic horoscopes like these then you get a pass but its still a fine line that you walk. Now that we know what horoscopes are let me just quickly.
![Eminem - Somebody Save Me (feat. Jelly Roll) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Vwa0HenQMi4/mqdefault.jpg)
Dissapointed that he wasnt oiled up in the photos.
Disappointed he isn't a scorpio😥
You are neither stoic nor a stick. I feel lied to.
he obviously is. Can't you the stick figure in the lower left corner?
@@TeaRiker yes but he face revealed
stoic he couldn't be stick he is not
When balls reveal
69k subs
cant do that one he'd get doxxed from all those vids on The Hub
when he surpasses mrbeast
I'm a cancer to society
im a pisces to society
Oh, so you’re a Capricorn, too?
@@localstoreenjoyer is that worse than a cancer to society?
you and me both, buddy. you and me both
Oh wow, I've seen this guy before. His name is Yukubaralitugranichy von Battora-Dieselnoi.
Is 8 months too old to change a baby’s name?
@@noiburg8866 Why, cuz you also named yours Yukubaralitugranichy von Battora-Dieselnoi? Common rookie mistake.
@@SootyPhoenix no no no I would like to change my child’s name TO Yukubaralitugranichy von Battora-Dieselnoi
@@noiburg8866 Oh. Well, I stand by my opinion doing so would be a rookie mistake 😅
Varstreppvanen von forgüeril-adiyadorj gary johnstom frederick bartholomew terrappen
Grow a beard and moustache and you'll definitely look like Marcus Aurelius and you'll become the true Stoic Stick
Stoic stick metamorphosis
It's absolutely brilliant that you discredit astrology and then imply that you believe in magic by censoring the grimoire text lmao, subscribed
Demons are spooky but circles arent
@@StoicStick They sure are. Btw whats your favorite animal?
Probably a cat
@@StoicStick based
@@StoicStickNo it is not tell us the truth
This drip-feeding of information about some guy on the internet is keeping me very intrigued
ARG ahh
Mercury is in Gatorade sounds like a pretty big health hazard
Boy oh boy where do I even begin. stoic... honey, my pookie bear. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you drive into the paint and strike fear into your enemies eyes. Your silky smooth touch around the rim, and that gorgeous jumpshot. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you retire. You had a rough childhood, but you never gave up hope. You are even amazing off the court, you're a great husband and father, sometimes I even call you dad. I forvever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day retire. I would sacrifice my own life it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face. You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years. I remember when you first left youtube and its like my heart got broken into a million pieces. But a tear still fell from my right eye when I watched you win your first ring in youtube, because deep down, my glorious king deserved it. I just wanted you to return home. Then allas, you did, my sweet baby boy came home and I rejoiced. 2015 was a hard year for us baby, but in 2016 you made history happen. You came back from 3-1 and I couldn't believe it. I was crying, bawling even, and I heard my glorious king exclaim these words, "CRACKHEADS, THIS IS FOR YOU!" Not only have you changed the game of youtube and the world forever, but you've eternally changed my world. And now you're getting older, but still the goat, my goat. I love you pookie bear, my glorious king, stoic stick.
*you are my sunshine my only sunshine*
Oh no they are spreading like it's late 2019
So horoscopes are astrology minority report and also a demon summoning tool ? sounds far cooler than it actually is
Wait… stoic stick isn’t a 6’5 blonde hair blue eyed positive canthal tilt stone statue??? UNFOLLOWED!!!!!!
thanks for censoring the magic, truly a youtuber that wants to keep their audience safe from demonic possession
The "guess my horoscope" bit reminds me of author John Steinbeck's friend Ed Ricketts (a scientist) who did something very similar just to mess with people. When I was younger, I actually learned how to draw up horoscopes in great detail, but I put no stock in them anymore. (But on the other hand, a natal chart can be an attractive bit of decoration with positive and negative aspects arranged around the circle of signs and houses, kind of like a new-age mandala if you don't take it too seriously.)
This kind of ironic humor is what I live for
Brotha kinda handsome
28 views in 3 minutes he fell off
The hair though…
Kinda…
Not my type
MF has a Marcus Aurelius hair lmao
Duh, he's a virgo.
SIMP.
I only recently found out that I’m a scorpio. That’s cool because I like scorpions
This explains the scar from when my parents tried to post abort for being a Scorpio
Stoic, im really proud of your growth! its really nice to see a tiny youtuber get some people.
Post birth abortion is wild
People will say height doesn't matter, but horoscopes do... Ironically your birth month does affect your life because it changes your age relative to others in common age based cohorts.
0:12 smash next question
If the skin-suit doesn't fit, you must acquit.
(edit: the lawyer impression reminded me of Johnny Cochrane. Not sure how familiar gen-Z is with the OJ trial)
Credit card information reveal
As someone who lives in the uk your lucky to see the eclipse, for me the clouds blocked it
SS is my favorite youtuber over 25K subcribers! Oh wait I didn't meqn it that wa-
Also, I have a different theory. People born between Thanksgiving and Christmas probable have certain personality trends as a result. Or, for instance, if you are born in November, your parents probably conceived in February. Now if they did, there's a decent chance they had a mistake at Valentine's Day, and don't have that good of a relationship normally. The stress of an accidental child probably led to a shitty childhood, which leads to them being an asshole, aka Scorpio. That being said, this isn't true of ALL Scorpios, but only Scorpios would have that life scenario.
Stoic's stick reveal when?
I've always felt if a girl asks your birthday/time for their horoscope stuff it's a really good thing. Because then she self reported herself and you can stay 100 feet away at all times.
IP address reveal at 1Mil?
Onlyfans at 1 mill
@StoicStick I can't wait to edge to it 🫡
Ima be real with you, the reason astrology is so popular, is simple because of them trying to be special.
I’m happy I guessed you was a Virgo right off the bat - love your channel 🫡🤍
YOURE INDIAN
He's persian
No, he's clearly japanese SMH.
You’re indian🫵🏾
Edging rn
I think all of people that actually think horoscopes dictates the path that your life takes are emotionally damaged people with no lead in life, ehich is kinda sad.
Can't wait for the 1 milion subs, credit card information reveal! That one's gonna be crazy!
I think when people look up what their horoscope means they become more of those characteristics. "Oh yes i do tend to act this way and this must be why" ~acts more that specific way~
More often than not when defending myself in court I claim to have been moonsick.
Now we have a face for that magnificent voice! Thanks for another great vid.
Cause your deduction capabilities are just spotless and make perfect sense. You're such a detail oriented and critical person...♍️
Good job bro you deserve it been here since day one
I don’t believe in horoscope but I guessed Scorpio for you lmao so when you said it I bugged tf out 💀
another lovely watch from the best
I’m not an astrological guy but it’s well known that we virgos are the smartest sign
100k identity reveal rn
Bro you are majestic
that white light in your eyes is a demon. not even joking. Find Jesus asap.
It was a camera flash lol
@@StoicStick You don't want to know how I know that.
FIRST!!! Didn't even watch it. For the algo. Cheers.
ah well done
A first comment that is actually first... Impossible!
As an intellectual I agree the idea of Horoscopes are dumb also congrats on 25K already!
“As an intellectual” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Redditor behavior
I spit my soda out at the eyes hurt search
7:10 buddy dropped the mla 9 citation fr
The only reason i know the names of horoscopes is because i play some the binding of isaac
Your a hidden gem love the videos also you look like a Chad
It sense Matt Rife joke close in this one. Good video.
5:32 There is an episode of The Orville that is basically this.
1 mil for a credit card reveal?
Persian version of gradeA
7/10. You look ok.
Miscellaneous UK, brown
Good vid could you do a streamer tier list
what a handsome feller this "Stoic Stick" guy is
Feet reveal at 75k?
“If you recognize me”
Dude I know like 15 brown people with the same haircut. You’re blending in well. ❤
Its ok i only saw a partial eclipse in the area i went to was cloud city (should have gone either to my one friend in canada or my relatives in texas) after the partial bit the totality effect still was pretty cool
This dude reminds me of Seeth.
You know what I’m here for
100k identity reveal ? ayooo itss 107k now
If I could guess I would say you are probably mula nakshatras or Saturn/Mercury as well
7:18 glad I’m watching this after watching the yakub video lol
I don't believe in horoscopes and such, but I like reading up on them. For.. scientific purposes
I’m two steps closer to stealing Stoic Sticks identity
Looking good bro. 😏👍🏽
'Your honor, he murdered 23 people because he's a Scorpio'
How much of the Stoic/roman emperor schtick is real and how much is ironic? Like ppl seem to be taking it at face value on the gram lol
I sometimes wonder who was the first person to try cow milk
25k nice. Don’t forget me yet, you have a couple more years
Believing in black magic is even dumber than believing in astrology
Ok bro
@@davidmonroe4668 indeed bro
Now prove why believing that the angle the earth was facing changes your entire life is more reasonable than believing that there are creatures from the unseen people make deals with.
@@MuammarQadaffi okay you're right they are equally stupid
So daevas and their master Angra Mainyu… the Lie.
I don’t believe anyone out there calling themselves “witches” & truly believing horoscopes is capable of erring on the side of caution.
Also grats on your channel growth, I remember congratulating you on 10k as you'd more than doubled since I found the channel, in about the same time-frame you've more than doubled again, you're going straight to the moon with this, last channel was there early and saw this kind of growth with was Wendigoon...
Don't forget about us who've been here since the beginning, I think you were at 3 or 4k when I subbed. I'll miss being able to banter but I know you gotta let the bird fly the nest eventually.
This is so based, so glad to see others believing in the spiritual world, and not being ignorant to it! (Good and bad)
I require a 30 minute lowest iq conspiracy theories
Watch as the channel is killed unexpectedly by Gatorade coming after him for saying it has mercury in it.
You did one about Tarot? If you haven't, do it: It is so everyone else it always fits, but with... Jungian Archetypes, as a recent video claimed.
If you go to italy and zap through the hotel-channels, half of the shows are about horoscopes the other about tarot-card reading and the rest about worried parents sending for exorcists...
You know what im gonna do? Im gonna sell "magic" rocks from the railroad to those people at around 60 dollars each. And you know what? THEY WONT EVEN KNOW THEYRE GETTING SCAMMED! They already were from the beginning!
calling the persian script arabic is just crazy
Bro is breathtaking
Out for 34 min and there isnt 14 gazillion billion views? Dead channel.
you look good, lose the metro haircut though :P
kinda late but periodmaxxing
brother you are now at 100k
Such a Virgo move
you somehow look exactly like i thought you would
1Mil in 2025
Appreciate the spell censor 👌
i love how you went from "horoscopes lol" to "demons are real and imma censor these magic spells"
persian marcus aurelius
100k identity reveal is wild
Less go a new stickstravaganza
Me genuinely thinking he was a scorpio like me, only to have the rug pulled out from beneath my feet is more of a gemini thing, idk if it's s virgo thing or not lmaoo
You'd need to see the entire chart and they don't compel you, they tell a story
Hold on wait i actually predicted he was a virgo-