I came here bc I’m a beautiful single amazing and smart 49 yrs old woman .. and men my age don’t want to date me bc 😆 they are chickens .. they want to date younger girls they can manipulate 😞ha ha ..
My husband and I have been together for 10 years. It's almost like we've gone through all 5 stages at least 3 times during the time that we've been together. At the moment right now we are stuck again on the power struggle stage. However, this time we will be starting marriage counseling soon and we will start to try to incorporate the suggestions on this video as well. We both love the heck out of each other and we both will fight for our marriage to work so at least we have that on our side. Thank you for the video.
***** Thank you. I am blessed to have the husband that I do. The kind of person that is willing to try anything and everything before ever really considering a divorce. When calling the counselor she said that I would be surprised at how many husbands will not agree to go to counseling.
***** Thank you so much for your kind words. Good luck to you and every obstacle you run across. This is kind of a slow process (for some reason I thought instant results lol), but I am dedicated to giving it my all. Marriage in my eyes has always been a "long haul" thing in my eyes. When my husband and I got married we both told each other that there was no such thing as divorce and that is something that I love about him.
I wish you the best of luck. There is nothing like the first part of a relationship. Where everything is new and thrilling. I get where you're coming from on that one. For a girl it's hard to balance what you're feeling and what you feel you can let out. It gets a lot easier once a connection has been established. I have this (what my husband would call a weird thing) thing that I do a lot. When I fall deeply in love with someone I want to know everything about them including their smell. I'm sure most women can relate with me on that one. Like a song a smell can bring back memories and I feel it is so intimate (without being sexual) to be able to tell him apart just by his smell. But I didn't do anything like that at first because I was afraid that he would view that as weird. But I have demonstrated that I can tell him apart from others by a simple touch on the arm or his smell. I hope much happiness for you and the lucky man you have chosen. I also hope that soon you both can develop that deep connection so that you don't have to fear seeming "too" into him.
***** You are not alone. For the longest time I felt that I was extremely weird for liking the things that I do. While other girls were showing off their diamond earrings their boyfriends got for them I was just as happy because he and I laid under the stars sharing childhood stories. While other girls would boast about their boyfriends making tons of money I was just as happy to watch him walk through the door after working on the our car. While other girls brag about awesome vacations they went on with their boyfriends I wanted to go horseback riding or zip lining with mine. I feel that so often today people focus so much on fame and money, they focus on the big picture and often forget the little flicks that get them there. I'm adding you to my friends list as well. I am so grateful to know you too. You are such a sweet person that would make any man proud.
***** That would be awesome. My name is Jennifer. That would be lovely to chat on "hangout". It isn't often that someone finds someone else online that could develop into a wonderful and fulfilling friendship.
Please don't ever take down these videos. I used this in my past relationship, which fortunately didn't work out, and now, 2 years later, in my current relationship with whom I'm pretty sure I will marry if we are able to get out of the power struggle phase we are currently in now. I feel your advice and knowledge have really helped my current boyfriend and I start to get through the power struggle phase in the way to stability. Thank you, never take these videos down!
This man is a most warm-heartened inspiration... I'm grateful he's never encountered a psychopath romantically. His sage advice feels to be wonderfully apt to aid two loving, empathetic people; & can all be thrown out when dealing with a dark, emotionally vacant, gas-lighting, manipulative, life-stomping monster.
^^yes! Same thoughts here. My last relationship was with a man like that for almost 10 years. and I think, now that I’ve experienced it I start looking out for those characteristics in other men. This video actually helpEd me with that. Under two years in my current relationship and we are in the power struggle stage. I realize it’s not those toxic characteristics I’ve been “seeing” it’s just our inability to communicate properly.
"love consciously" this is great... it makes me think that love is a skill to learn and not solely based on fate/fairytales loving my partner is less about him and has more to do with solving my own issues. Then things just fall into place if, ultimately, the relationship is meant to exist.
Thank you. This makes me more calm in my personal state of my relationship, shouldn´t move on to fast without going through every stage. Very helpful stuff.
This was very helpful and I now understand the different stages... Honestly I know I'm in the power struggle right now and it's been like this for 6 months now... Thank you for making this video!
+Haleina Marie Has your power struggle gotten any better with time and more education? My power struggle feels horrible. If we don't study this together we won't make it.
Feels like I´m there as well. It´s so hard... because my partner never come along on trips, and he´s not the kind of person that you can share thoughts with, he´s usually kind of quiet... I always listen to what he has to say but he only talk when there is something that interest him. It makes me sad that it´s just so meh. He has bad habits that will probably kill him someday, and that makes me sad and scared. We've talked about it but he doesn't care
Very insightful and a great way to explain the stages of relationships. I'm personally at the stability stage and I have found that navigating conflict is absolutely key. For me the pivotal point to moving from power struggle to the stability stage was simply to listen more, be more responsive, stop reacting and understanding that the course of a conflict is determined by the person who responds and NOT by the one who starts it. So I stopped reacting and began to consciously listen and consciously act. This elevated the relationship to a whole new level of love and understanding!!! Thank you for your great videos, as a coach myself, I am now a fan and follower of yours. Keep up the good work!!!
This was the best thing I've ever seen. This is phenomenal. My girlfriend and I have never seen this before but we live off of it without knowing, and now we'll know even more. This is great! 😊
Indecisivegurrl Alex There is hope, and that is to get the earmuffs off during that first wave of love to try to see if this is real love or a person one just "wants" to be in love with. ..:) That is the point of this video. Because looks or even quirks of personality don't matter in the end, what matters - will that person hang in there and treat you well after that first heady stage of love. .....
I am from Thailand 🇹🇭 and listening to this vdo it helps me to improve my English. I think i am in state 2. The type of my lover, I don’t think i will survive for this love, i better break up and move on and learning self-love. 😢 😭
I must say - this was eyes opening. I thought I already understood what was going on in all my relationships, but it was only from my half of the story and even that not whole. Thank you very much for this video, I feel I gained something truly precious.
We’ve just hit the power struggle stage a few months ago after nearly two years together. We both really want this to work but we have no idea what to do, we try so hard not to hurt each other but it often goes wrong. Thank you so much for these videos!
Thank u for this video sent it to my girl too. We're in the power struggle stage, it's sucks cuz we both miss the romance but we're trying to get through it n this video helps.
this makes a lot of Sense, I'm with a guy that I really want to spend the rest of my life with (we have been together for a little over 2years) I just feel like the high is starting to leave, I want to be with him I just don't know how to work though everything. We are great together just noticing things I didn't before. It makes a lot of sense all of my past relationships lasted for 2 years... I think I was getting trapped in that cycle, I don't want to do it again. Thank You for having this video!!
I think this video is really good. i feel like you hit my relationship right on the head. Me and my partner are in the Power Struggle Stage and she wants to run but this video just reinforced how i feel that we have to continue to grow and that this isn't the end of our relationship this is just our relationship moving forward to that stability stage. I really love her and want o be with her but she's at a point where she's not out of love but not completely there and i realize i have to do things as well as her in order for our relationship to be built to last. but i really like this video you hit the time frame for everything right on the money thats what really kept my attention and made me wanna finish the video. Thank You.
my husband and I have been stuck in the power struggle for a year already and now we are seperated trying to figure out what we want. This video is very helpful. Whatever happens to our marriage I pray God helps us. Thank you for making videos like this
I've been a PUA coach for years and back when I started to expand my business to relationships, I watched this video. Years later, I still rewatch this.
I came across this video and can totally relate. My bf and I are currently in what you called the "power struggle" stage. I think this video was insightful. I love my bf and can see great potential in him as a husband but we are having a lot of issues right now . The way you explained the beginning it was exactly like that . The way we fell in love. I am going to learn to forgive and fight for my relationship. Thanks for the video
The relationship I am in is moving from the relationship stage to the power struggle stage. I don't t hink the power struggle stage will be to much of a struggle for either of us. We have done a lot of transformational work, and we are clear that communication, open and honest, makes a huge difference. We are also clear that beign present and in the now makes a huge difference. However, knowing the steps and how to interact with them really does support us. Thanks.
Amazing video I will show it to my partner so that we will know how this works, I'd love to get to know more about how to progress into the last stage - the bliss stage without changing each other but sacrificing for each other.
Thanks for this video Bruce this really summeried what loving relationship mean and can lead to. We have been married for 29 years and must have fought for 27 in all! I do feel like dying inside as we both watching our now grown up children suffered too. With this video at least I know I what happened in the process of so called LOVE.
This gave me such great advice! Me and my man JUST hit the power struggle and it's very intense. I know he loves me but we've been arguing way to much. We really want this relationship fixed and get past all this. I couldn't imagine losing him. Thank you.
I don't often comment on videos but felt compelled to do so because it is absolutely amazing! Approximately 30 years in my relationship, power struggles, both withdrawing and my death on a regular basis - awful! It is good to know that this is "Normal" and we have chosen each other for our spiritual growth. Thought it might be the case but am now very, very close to wanting to give up! Thank you so much for making this video.
I loved the last part. The fact that the fighting actually helps or something like that. I understood what you meant, because ever time i have an argument with my boyfriend i love him even more and more each time and i feel like the love keep growing....
I am so happy I have found your video. Me and my girlfriend have just hite the power struggle stage and we've been considering breaking up. She has been doing so many annoying things like ignoring me and it makes me feel like she's hiding stuff so naturally I try to figure out what it all is, then we start fighting. It has been very hard but I hope that with this I could learn how to fix everything and we can be happy again.
Your spot on, we are in the power stage, and I have realized the problem is me, and I need to make changes, I won't try and change her, we will seek counseling, and both are committed to working it out because we really do love each other , every relationship takes work, and communication , understanding, is the key , thanks, great video 😊
This is amazing. You described everything that happened to me in the first three stages. I hope I can get out of the power struggle stage because I am already married with kids. Thanks for this!
This just got me out of a super serious fight with my girlfriend thank you so much! Usually don't comment on YT videos but you completely earned it thank you for this.
WOW! Really struggling in the 'power struggle' stage right now, and this video spoke out to me like no other. I'm struggling with not feeling accepted, and missing the love and acceptance we had in the romance stage. Thanks so, so much for making this video. It made me feel like I am not alone, not going completely mad, and there is hope. Off to look for more videos by you about how to feel acceptance in the power struggle stage. Hope they exist!
Soooo glad I found you. I just about to give up. But I won't. We will survive this stage. I am the one who very needy. He keep saying it's normal. Thank you.
I am in the power struggle stage with my boyfriend, lately we been fighting a lot. We will be together one year next month on the 3rd. Although we do fight and I couldn't figure out why.But now I have the answer. We are in the " Power Struggle" stage. Our last fight was huge and we fought & then took off and the neighbor saw and called the cops and he is currently in jail for resisting arrest. The last thing I had said to him before I found out he was in jail was and I quote " I hate you and I never want see you again my life". After I calmed down I realized I had made a huge mistake. I realized I truly do love him and I could not see myself without him. I talk to him and I feel this made us both realize how much we truly do care for each other and want to fix our relationship to make it work. Thank you so much! I now truly have hope for us. I love him!!!!
How is your relationship with him so far? I am in a crazy power struggle stage with my girlfrjend. We been together almost 2 years but recently we got into a real big fight and now it doesn't seem like this relationship can continue
This is so true. I was in a relationship and was trying to hard to ask someone to change, when in actuality if I love them I should accept them for who they are and respect them. This video opened my eyes. I am one of those addicts to the romance stage and when I get to the power struggle stage I just leave. I don't want to with the person I'm still in love with now, before I would be whatever, but with her I just don't want to end things as I feel she has improved my life in more ways then women before her.
I would never try and change someone. To me, communication is key. It is the most important part of a relationship. I love to bring out the best in others. Trying to change me will never work. I love being myself. That makes me thrive. Thank you for this. ☺
This is so true my fiance went through most of these stages. I had a hard time when the new exciting stage was over. I missed that high, then it seemed like we argued over everything. Then my friends fiance passed away. Her grieving missing all the small things from her I took for granted everyday with my fiance. I had forgotten that fun easy going person I use to be. I decided we were different and his difference is what I loved about him and who I was goofy, silly, easy going is who he loved and we have found this place where we are happy truly happy. We still fuss on occasion but we fight fair now instead of it being a personal attack etc.
this was extremely helpful. My girlfriend and I aren't necessarily in the power struggle part, but we've become more open with each other, about things we've never told people. I had come from a relationship that was based on jealousy. I've been trying to get over that, but am willing to make any change I need to in order to keep what my girlfriend and I have. I truly believe she is the one, and no matter what we discuss, no matter what I bring up, good or bad, she doesn't treat me any different about, and I feel we have a truly open relationship, which to me, is most important. thank you for your very helpful videos, I just subscribed
For me the power struggle stage has become more of a mental battle with myself, I’m trying to get myself to love my partner again as she’s the best girlfriend ever
thank you...I have been out of a relationship for quite sometimes. So long that I am locked and married into my individuality and my independence. I know that I am at a new stage, new beginning and new chapter of my life. My old patterns are breaking down and it is terribly painful but I understand the importance of my purpose as a empowered woman and I it is my responsibility to be a role model to other women and to be able to cooperate. "Diary of a mad black woman" no longer is serving me.
am in power struggle phase, I also realized that I was rushing things I was rushing soo many things at once that neither she nor I were able to keep the pace so I realized it and stopped to rush things I am again feeling normal and maybe in somedays, we will again be romantic and happy
This has made me realise so much and I'd like to thank you. I now feel like there is a chance for more good life ahead of us because I see that me and my soul mate don't just have to give up. Now for the implementation. Again, thank you.
Great video. Its really a true representation of relationships. Too many times people will all want to go from the Romance Stage to Bliss. You will always hear people say" I want what...THEY have" when they see a happy and what seems to be a long lasting loving couple. Ive been guilty of this too like seeing that old couple in the park that still has a sparkle in their eyes holding hands. But ...What did they go through to get to that kind of Bliss? is really what you should ask yourself. how you explained the power struggle is spot on. It always happens ,without fail. Thank you for these videos I will be watching more
I hope to god my relationship with my girlfriend lasts, I really do love this girl. It seems like we just got out of the power struggle stage. We argue but we're doing our best to be understanding of each other. She means the world to me man
I'v been with my girlfiend nearly 2 years and we have been in and out of the romance and power struggle stage, sometimes daily, for about 4 weeks. I wouldn't change her for the world but even during the romance stage there were times she has tried to change me in positive ways which is great and I did the same. Eecently she's tried changing who I am in small ways and she gets upset and annoyed over things she sometimes thinks I have done, or haven't done, it makes me feel really down and depressed. I've sacrificed so much for our ralationship and for her, I've grown so much as a person and matured so much and she has too. I love her to bits and want to spend our lives together but it really hurts when she can be happy 1 minute and then not want to talk to me and put the phone down on me in anger the next. Neither of us want to run and she has started seeing how much it affects me and she has started to grow a bit more and be a bit more aware of what she says and how she acts which is a huge positive.
Feel so sad and lost. Coming to end of first stage. We've seen each other every day and he's not attentive any more. He hardly texts and makes fun of me when we're together. I've decided not to see him today so that he can miss me maybe. I miss him and the attention he gave me so much and want to cry.
I wish I had come across this sooner, all of this is so accurate- my boyfriend and I have been through these stages, and I thought there was something wrong.
I didn’t have a really strong infatuation with my ex bf but he did with me. I thought we were heading into stability but he left for someone else. Every time I felt doubt in him I asked myself if I loved his soul, the answer was always yes. He was a good man and I told him this... I thought he was emotionally mature and he knew about the infatuation stage. I’m just a shell of a person now.
Hahaha. She told me this morning that she loves me but she's not in love with me. Of course I am bonkers about her. But fact that she has moved on on tells me that she's ready for the next phase in due course. She doesn't know it. This is hilarious and fills my heart with joy at the prospect of our relationship moving onto the next and stage. I have her where I want her she doesn't know it. I love her so much . hahaha.
Thank you so much....This video was very insightful and help to bring alot of persperctive to some issues I have been currently facing in my relationship, and it feels good to know that "It's normal" as you put it. I'm going to watch the rest of your videos to see how else I can better my relationship. Thanks again. Jaz
this video was Boss!!!!!!! Many people are getting divorced because they have no information..... this was very informative and I am glad that I watched it...... gonna meditate and put this formula into action........very informative and true...... Thanks!!!!!
I've been in a 7 year relationship (we met at 15) and we've been going through a lot of issues lately. Watching this video has really put things into perspective and helped me put our situation into words and cohesively put together all the pieces of what's going on. Thank you :)
saw a lot of myself in it..now I understand where I'm at in this relationship...Which would have found this months ago so as not to have caused as much pain to my partner...
This made me realize things so much. I'm currently in the power struggle and it's been the worse for me I just want things to be so perfect but the arguments and everything gets in the way and we both can't seem to realize that is as a couple we should get through them and we're way too much of a couple to be arguing. I love my girlfriend..
I watched the video and now realize we're in the power struggle phase simply because I feel I've given up so much for her, and I've lost myself...I use to be happy go lucky and she wants my old self back.
Thanks for your help. I have been with my ex for over 7 years now with 2 sons. I'm still so lost Bruce and in so much pain of loosing her now that its driving me insane. One of my lady friends told me I needed to detach from her so she can miss me. The problem is she moved another man in within 2 weeks of our seperation. I feel like she keeps me stringing along so She can keep the control, and still have her way too. Please give me your best advice on how to deal with this pain I'm going through. Thanks and God Bless You!!
I love this guy! I think you really are onto something... the key to world peace. So sad to see how many marriages break up so unnecessarily. These skills can be used across all sectors of relationships. Thank you and your partner for having the courage to move forward even when things were really tough. It's fighting for the literal "love", not fighting for "the fight". Many people fight for the "fight" to stay in it just to continue fighting... I like the idea of fighting to get to the love. You are providing us the answer to gender inequality.:)
I can relate to all of this. My husband withdrew, would not communicate at all and we are now separated because he met someone else and said we grew apart. It all sounds like our marriage down to a tee.
I was in the power struggle and he left me. I was still high in love and broke my heart completely. I love him so much that I accept his good and bad. But he left in a wrong time and was more painful. I miss him right now and really wish I was in his arms. :( but he shatter my heart.
Same here. I know i have my mistakes but i wish we did have the advice from the vid about overcoming each others differences and had better communication and have survived.
Me too:( I would of gone to therapy with but ugh he gave up:( I wish we could of fight together. wish we could of communicate. Sigh there NOTHINNG I can do now:( he told me to move on cause he will move on he said if we meant to be together we will:( screw that:(
Ugh. Its hard when us girls can tolerate so much and even if its to much we dont give up..but them? When we change because we are too hurt they cant take it anymore and just give up on u just like that :/
Thanks. I have made so many mistakes in past relationships and decided I am going to learn more and get some skills so that I can become mature and able to relate. This video has helped me to see the stages. I always mess up at the first stage! we live and we learn!
Lol, how many came upon this video bc you're in the power struggle stage 🙋🏼
Been going in between power struggle and stability for 5 years, lol.
Lol come to my channel and check out my advice vids and be sure to SUBSCRIBE
I came here bc I’m a beautiful single amazing and smart 49 yrs old woman .. and men my age don’t want to date me bc 😆 they are chickens .. they want to date younger girls they can manipulate 😞ha ha ..
@@mr.awethenik l
Emily Everett 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Everyone watching this is probably in power struggle. We all feel for each other.
Me and my girlfriend hit the power struggle just recently. This video really made me feel more confident about us making it through.
Any update chuck ? How’d it go
Has saved my relationship twice already. Thank you Bruce xx
Go watch my video on relationship advice!! Its my first video ever
My husband and I have been together for 10 years. It's almost like we've gone through all 5 stages at least 3 times during the time that we've been together. At the moment right now we are stuck again on the power struggle stage. However, this time we will be starting marriage counseling soon and we will start to try to incorporate the suggestions on this video as well. We both love the heck out of each other and we both will fight for our marriage to work so at least we have that on our side. Thank you for the video.
***** Thank you. I am blessed to have the husband that I do. The kind of person that is willing to try anything and everything before ever really considering a divorce. When calling the counselor she said that I would be surprised at how many husbands will not agree to go to counseling.
***** Thank you so much for your kind words. Good luck to you and every obstacle you run across. This is kind of a slow process (for some reason I thought instant results lol), but I am dedicated to giving it my all. Marriage in my eyes has always been a "long haul" thing in my eyes. When my husband and I got married we both told each other that there was no such thing as divorce and that is something that I love about him.
I wish you the best of luck. There is nothing like the first part of a relationship. Where everything is new and thrilling. I get where you're coming from on that one. For a girl it's hard to balance what you're feeling and what you feel you can let out. It gets a lot easier once a connection has been established. I have this (what my husband would call a weird thing) thing that I do a lot. When I fall deeply in love with someone I want to know everything about them including their smell. I'm sure most women can relate with me on that one. Like a song a smell can bring back memories and I feel it is so intimate (without being sexual) to be able to tell him apart just by his smell. But I didn't do anything like that at first because I was afraid that he would view that as weird. But I have demonstrated that I can tell him apart from others by a simple touch on the arm or his smell. I hope much happiness for you and the lucky man you have chosen. I also hope that soon you both can develop that deep connection so that you don't have to fear seeming "too" into him.
***** You are not alone. For the longest time I felt that I was extremely weird for liking the things that I do. While other girls were showing off their diamond earrings their boyfriends got for them I was just as happy because he and I laid under the stars sharing childhood stories. While other girls would boast about their boyfriends making tons of money I was just as happy to watch him walk through the door after working on the our car. While other girls brag about awesome vacations they went on with their boyfriends I wanted to go horseback riding or zip lining with mine. I feel that so often today people focus so much on fame and money, they focus on the big picture and often forget the little flicks that get them there. I'm adding you to my friends list as well. I am so grateful to know you too. You are such a sweet person that would make any man proud.
***** That would be awesome. My name is Jennifer. That would be lovely to chat on "hangout". It isn't often that someone finds someone else online that could develop into a wonderful and fulfilling friendship.
This dude should write a book I really seriously buy it
Check out more of Bruce's free videos by joining the mailing list (for free) at www.loveatfirstfight.com
Jonathan Raby same here !
Please don't ever take down these videos. I used this in my past relationship, which fortunately didn't work out, and now, 2 years later, in my current relationship with whom I'm pretty sure I will marry if we are able to get out of the power struggle phase we are currently in now. I feel your advice and knowledge have really helped my current boyfriend and I start to get through the power struggle phase in the way to stability. Thank you, never take these videos down!
This man is a most warm-heartened inspiration... I'm grateful he's never encountered a psychopath romantically. His sage advice feels to be wonderfully apt to aid two loving, empathetic people; & can all be thrown out when dealing with a dark, emotionally vacant, gas-lighting, manipulative, life-stomping monster.
^^yes! Same thoughts here. My last relationship was with a man like that for almost 10 years. and I think, now that I’ve experienced it I start looking out for those characteristics in other men. This video actually helpEd me with that. Under two years in my current relationship and we are in the power struggle stage. I realize it’s not those toxic characteristics I’ve been “seeing” it’s just our inability to communicate properly.
After a couple of minutes I didn't think I would get much from this, but I stuck with it and I was wrong. Good job!
"love consciously" this is great... it makes me think that love is a skill to learn and not solely based on fate/fairytales loving my partner is less about him and has more to do with solving my own issues. Then things just fall into place if, ultimately, the relationship is meant to exist.
Having a partner who lied and cheated is not even worth the time to works things out.
Exactly.
It depends! But very risky ...
Unless a kid is involved and both parties are willing to really work together.
damnit you're right. ugh
Did you try to explore why your partner did this. There is always a reason . Lack of communication and trust is the major cause.
This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. What a relief. I was beginning to think I was crazy.
619 and I’m in tears! This video is so accurate about the drop in “feeling high” god bless you fir this video! I saved it as therapy
Thank you. This makes me more calm in my personal state of my relationship, shouldn´t move on to fast without going through every stage. Very helpful stuff.
This was very helpful and I now understand the different stages... Honestly I know I'm in the power struggle right now and it's been like this for 6 months now... Thank you for making this video!
+Haleina Marie Has your power struggle gotten any better with time and more education? My power struggle feels horrible. If we don't study this together we won't make it.
Yes it has actually! It really takes both people and understanding each other to resolve an issue.
are you two still together!? im going through it too :/
Feels like I´m there as well.
It´s so hard... because my partner never come along on trips, and he´s not the kind of person that you can share thoughts with, he´s usually kind of quiet... I always listen to what he has to say but he only talk when there is something that interest him. It makes me sad that it´s just so meh. He has bad habits that will probably kill him someday, and that makes me sad and scared. We've talked about it but he doesn't care
Truly helpful.It's amazing.God bless.
Very insightful and a great way to explain the stages of relationships. I'm personally at the stability stage and I have found that navigating conflict is absolutely key. For me the pivotal point to moving from power struggle to the stability stage was simply to listen more, be more responsive, stop reacting and understanding that the course of a conflict is determined by the person who responds and NOT by the one who starts it. So I stopped reacting and began to consciously listen and consciously act. This elevated the relationship to a whole new level of love and understanding!!! Thank you for your great videos, as a coach myself, I am now a fan and follower of yours. Keep up the good work!!!
This was the best thing I've ever seen. This is phenomenal. My girlfriend and I have never seen this before but we live off of it without knowing, and now we'll know even more. This is great! 😊
My love over a year a has left me after a off messenger ñow he's not answering my calls or been online at all he is from South Africa please help me
You're a genius Bruce. You've helped me see things very clearly without feeling inadequate or 'abnormal'. Much food for thought - thank you.
Great video. I think people need to study these stages before they get into a relationship. I wish I did... thanks
Usually our parents and church mentors try to tell us, but when in the heady first love stage we can't hear. ;)
coolwater55 Well then if you can't hear in the love stage, then theres no hope for anyone!
Indecisivegurrl Alex There is hope, and that is to get the earmuffs off during that first wave of love to try to see if this is real love or a person one just "wants" to be in love with. ..:) That is the point of this video. Because looks or even quirks of personality don't matter in the end, what matters - will that person hang in there and treat you well after that first heady stage of love. .....
I am from Thailand 🇹🇭 and listening to this vdo it helps me to improve my English. I think i am in state 2. The type of my lover, I don’t think i will survive for this love, i better break up and move on and learning self-love. 😢 😭
I must say - this was eyes opening. I thought I already understood what was going on in all my relationships, but it was only from my half of the story and even that not whole. Thank you very much for this video, I feel I gained something truly precious.
We’ve just hit the power struggle stage a few months ago after nearly two years together. We both really want this to work but we have no idea what to do, we try so hard not to hurt each other but it often goes wrong. Thank you so much for these videos!
Thank u for this video sent it to my girl too. We're in the power struggle stage, it's sucks cuz we both miss the romance but we're trying to get through it n this video helps.
this makes a lot of Sense, I'm with a guy that I really want to spend the rest of my life with (we have been together for a little over 2years) I just feel like the high is starting to leave, I want to be with him I just don't know how to work though everything. We are great together just noticing things I didn't before. It makes a lot of sense all of my past relationships lasted for 2 years... I think I was getting trapped in that cycle, I don't want to do it again. Thank You for having this video!!
I think this video is really good. i feel like you hit my relationship right on the head. Me and my partner are in the Power Struggle Stage and she wants to run but this video just reinforced how i feel that we have to continue to grow and that this isn't the end of our relationship this is just our relationship moving forward to that stability stage. I really love her and want o be with her but she's at a point where she's not out of love but not completely there and i realize i have to do things as well as her in order for our relationship to be built to last. but i really like this video you hit the time frame for everything right on the money thats what really kept my attention and made me wanna finish the video. Thank You.
i hope this can help in my present relationship. i think i am in the power struggle stage i hope i can survive this one
my husband and I have been stuck in the power struggle for a year already and now we are seperated trying to figure out what we want. This video is very helpful. Whatever happens to our marriage I pray God helps us. Thank you for making videos like this
I've been a PUA coach for years and back when I started to expand my business to relationships, I watched this video. Years later, I still rewatch this.
I came across this video and can totally relate. My bf and I are currently in what you called the "power struggle" stage. I think this video was insightful. I love my bf and can see great potential in him as a husband but we are having a lot of issues right now . The way you explained the beginning it was exactly like that . The way we fell in love. I am going to learn to forgive and fight for my relationship.
Thanks for the video
The relationship I am in is moving from the relationship stage to the power struggle stage. I don't t hink the power struggle stage will be to much of a struggle for either of us. We have done a lot of transformational work, and we are clear that communication, open and honest, makes a huge difference. We are also clear that beign present and in the now makes a huge difference. However, knowing the steps and how to interact with them really does support us. Thanks.
Amazing video I will show it to my partner so that we will know how this works, I'd love to get to know more about how to progress into the last stage - the bliss stage without changing each other but sacrificing for each other.
this guy changed my life. Hes a role model
This is so much better than some of the garbage that some of these other so called relationship gurus teach just to make a quick buck!
Thanks for this video Bruce this really summeried what loving relationship mean and can lead to. We have been married for 29 years and must have fought for 27 in all! I do feel like dying inside as we both watching our now grown up children suffered too. With this video at least I know I what happened in the process of so called LOVE.
This gave me such great advice! Me and my man JUST hit the power struggle and it's very intense. I know he loves me but we've been arguing way to much. We really want this relationship fixed and get past all this. I couldn't imagine losing him. Thank you.
I don't often comment on videos but felt compelled to do so because it is absolutely amazing! Approximately 30 years in my relationship, power struggles, both withdrawing and my death on a regular basis - awful! It is good to know that this is "Normal" and we have chosen each other for our spiritual growth. Thought it might be the case but am now very, very close to wanting to give up! Thank you so much for making this video.
I loved the last part. The fact that the fighting actually helps or something like that. I understood what you meant, because ever time i have an argument with my boyfriend i love him even more and more each time and i feel like the love keep growing....
I am so happy I have found your video. Me and my girlfriend have just hite the power struggle stage and we've been considering breaking up. She has been doing so many annoying things like ignoring me and it makes me feel like she's hiding stuff so naturally I try to figure out what it all is, then we start fighting. It has been very hard but I hope that with this I could learn how to fix everything and we can be happy again.
Best of luck to you Seymoure. You never want to lose the woman you love. I hope you two get thru this stage.
Yep, I just realized we've been stuck in the Power Struggle stage for THREE years now. Just broke up last night! Wish I would've seen this a week ago.
I especially love the insight that life likes to bring us someone so incompatible, in the interest of our growth
Your spot on, we are in the power stage, and I have realized the problem is me, and I need to make changes, I won't try and change her, we will seek counseling, and both are committed to working it out because we really do love each other , every relationship takes work, and communication , understanding, is the key , thanks, great video 😊
This is amazing. You described everything that happened to me in the first three stages. I hope I can get out of the power struggle stage because I am already married with kids. Thanks for this!
I'm in the 2nd stage :( it can be Heaven a minute and the next minute is Hell but is Totally Worth it ❤️
This video does help. I think that people who get married in the romance stage can still make it as long as they understand why these stages happen.
Yes for sure, stick with it. It will be the best gift you give yourself, and your children.
You say you didn't change, but you actually changed for good your growth up and the break up helped you do it faster, great video keep it up
I'm stuck in the romance stage. I haven't found love. All girl that i loved was just infatuation.
Irkham Kholid same here bro. my life seems like an endless void of sexual endeavours.
This just got me out of a super serious fight with my girlfriend thank you so much! Usually don't comment on YT videos but you completely earned it thank you for this.
Watching videos like this is an eye opener on how you can possibly make a change on how you handle your relationship.
Communication it's the most important thing on the relationship
CHEMO 69 Yes it is!
WOW! Really struggling in the 'power struggle' stage right now, and this video spoke out to me like no other. I'm struggling with not feeling accepted, and missing the love and acceptance we had in the romance stage.
Thanks so, so much for making this video. It made me feel like I am not alone, not going completely mad, and there is hope. Off to look for more videos by you about how to feel acceptance in the power struggle stage. Hope they exist!
after two years we are in the power struggle it can get tough but we can still make each other happy I hope we will make it to bliss
Soooo glad I found you. I just about to give up. But I won't. We will survive this stage. I am the one who very needy. He keep saying it's normal. Thank you.
Wow this helped me make a lot of sense out of what I'm going through! :)
My boyfriend and I are definitely in the stability stage. The power struggle stage was a REAL STRUGGLE but we got thru it.
I am in the power struggle stage with my boyfriend, lately we been fighting a lot. We will be together one year next month on the 3rd. Although we do fight and I couldn't figure out why.But now I have the answer. We are in the " Power Struggle" stage. Our last fight was huge and we fought & then took off and the neighbor saw and called the cops and he is currently in jail for resisting arrest. The last thing I had said to him before I found out he was in jail was and I quote " I hate you and I never want see you again my life". After I calmed down I realized I had made a huge mistake. I realized I truly do love him and I could not see myself without him. I talk to him and I feel this made us both realize how much we truly do care for each other and want to fix our relationship to make it work. Thank you so much! I now truly have hope for us. I love him!!!!
How is your relationship with him so far? I am in a crazy power struggle stage with my girlfrjend. We been together almost 2 years but recently we got into a real big fight and now it doesn't seem like this relationship can continue
This is so true. I was in a relationship and was trying to hard to ask someone to change, when in actuality if I love them I should accept them for who they are and respect them. This video opened my eyes. I am one of those addicts to the romance stage and when I get to the power struggle stage I just leave. I don't want to with the person I'm still in love with now, before I would be whatever, but with her I just don't want to end things as I feel she has improved my life in more ways then women before her.
I would never try and change someone. To me, communication is key. It is the most important part of a relationship. I love to bring out the best in others. Trying to change me will never work. I love being myself. That makes me thrive. Thank you for this. ☺
This is so true my fiance went through most of these stages. I had a hard time when the new exciting stage was over. I missed that high, then it seemed like we argued over everything. Then my friends fiance passed away. Her grieving missing all the small things from her I took for granted everyday with my fiance. I had forgotten that fun easy going person I use to be. I decided we were different and his difference is what I loved about him and who I was goofy, silly, easy going is who he loved and we have found this place where we are happy truly happy. We still fuss on occasion but we fight fair now instead of it being a personal attack etc.
Wow we r stuck in the power struggle stage
This man knows what he's talking about. I will take everything he said into my life :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! So needed to hear this today, and expressed in the wonderful way u have ❤
this was extremely helpful. My girlfriend and I aren't necessarily in the power struggle part, but we've become more open with each other, about things we've never told people. I had come from a relationship that was based on jealousy. I've been trying to get over that, but am willing to make any change I need to in order to keep what my girlfriend and I have. I truly believe she is the one, and no matter what we discuss, no matter what I bring up, good or bad, she doesn't treat me any different about, and I feel we have a truly open relationship, which to me, is most important. thank you for your very helpful videos, I just subscribed
For me the power struggle stage has become more of a mental battle with myself, I’m trying to get myself to love my partner again as she’s the best girlfriend ever
thank you...I have been out of a relationship for quite sometimes. So long that I am locked and married into my individuality and my independence. I know that I am at a new stage, new beginning and new chapter of my life. My old patterns are breaking down and it is terribly painful but I understand the importance of my purpose as a empowered woman and I it is my responsibility to be a role model to other women and to be able to cooperate. "Diary of a mad black woman" no longer is serving me.
am in power struggle phase, I also realized that I was rushing things
I was rushing soo many things at once that neither she nor I were able to keep the pace so I realized it and stopped to rush things
I am again feeling normal and maybe in somedays, we will again be romantic and happy
Thank you for the video. It helps tons. I now know where i stand in my relationship.
This has made me realise so much and I'd like to thank you. I now feel like there is a chance for more good life ahead of us because I see that me and my soul mate don't just have to give up.
Now for the implementation. Again, thank you.
Bruce is a genius. Thank God for this. My girl and I understood our relationship more by watching this.... Thank you!
4 months in the relationship and its going so well so I don't want it to end.
I cried. Seriously. Thank you. Ive been stuck in a toxic mindset
you just opened my eyes up to every past relationship I've ever had and failed at but made me very excited to work for the one I have currently!
Holy cow, Bruce, this was a surreal moment for me as I stumbled across this video by chance while dealing with relationship issues! Good on you.
You made me realise that I'm going to fight for my relationship with my girlfriend and I'm willing to fix my wellbeing
Great video. Its really a true representation of relationships. Too many times people will all want to go from the Romance Stage to Bliss. You will always hear people say" I want what...THEY have" when they see a happy and what seems to be a long lasting loving couple. Ive been guilty of this too like seeing that old couple in the park that still has a sparkle in their eyes holding hands. But ...What did they go through to get to that kind of Bliss? is really what you should ask yourself. how you explained the power struggle is spot on. It always happens ,without fail. Thank you for these videos I will be watching more
This is exactly the answer to my prayers,me and my bf going through the power struggle right now,I really appreciate it thanks man
I hope to god my relationship with my girlfriend lasts, I really do love this girl. It seems like we just got out of the power struggle stage. We argue but we're doing our best to be understanding of each other. She means the world to me man
Thank you heartily Bruce. Thank you so much for this precious advice.
We are definitely in the power struggle stage. Great video! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel ;)
I'v been with my girlfiend nearly 2 years and we have been in and out of the romance and power struggle stage, sometimes daily, for about 4 weeks. I wouldn't change her for the world but even during the romance stage there were times she has tried to change me in positive ways which is great and I did the same. Eecently she's tried changing who I am in small ways and she gets upset and annoyed over things she sometimes thinks I have done, or haven't done, it makes me feel really down and depressed. I've sacrificed so much for our ralationship and for her, I've grown so much as a person and matured so much and she has too. I love her to bits and want to spend our lives together but it really hurts when she can be happy 1 minute and then not want to talk to me and put the phone down on me in anger the next. Neither of us want to run and she has started seeing how much it affects me and she has started to grow a bit more and be a bit more aware of what she says and how she acts which is a huge positive.
Feel so sad and lost. Coming to end of first stage. We've seen each other every day and he's not attentive any more. He hardly texts and makes fun of me when we're together. I've decided not to see him today so that he can miss me maybe. I miss him and the attention he gave me so much and want to cry.
I wish I had come across this sooner, all of this is so accurate- my boyfriend and I have been through these stages, and I thought there was something wrong.
Am in the power struggle stage this stage is so annoying
thanks for the video it really helpful
I didn’t have a really strong infatuation with my ex bf but he did with me. I thought we were heading into stability but he left for someone else.
Every time I felt doubt in him I asked myself if I loved his soul, the answer was always yes. He was a good man and I told him this... I thought he was emotionally mature and he knew about the infatuation stage.
I’m just a shell of a person now.
I'm sorry this happened to you
Hahaha. She told me this morning that she loves me but she's not in love with me. Of course I am bonkers about her. But fact that she has moved on on tells me that she's ready for the next phase in due course. She doesn't know it. This is hilarious and fills my heart with joy at the prospect of our relationship moving onto the next and stage. I have her where I want her she doesn't know it. I love her so much . hahaha.
Thank you so much....This video was very insightful and help to bring alot of persperctive to some issues I have been currently facing in my relationship, and it feels good to know that "It's normal" as you put it. I'm going to watch the rest of your videos to see how else I can better my relationship. Thanks again. Jaz
this video was Boss!!!!!!! Many people are getting divorced because they have no information..... this was very informative and I am glad that I watched it...... gonna meditate and put this formula into action........very informative and true...... Thanks!!!!!
I've been in a 7 year relationship (we met at 15) and we've been going through a lot of issues lately. Watching this video has really put things into perspective and helped me put our situation into words and cohesively put together all the pieces of what's going on. Thank you :)
saw a lot of myself in it..now I understand where I'm at in this relationship...Which would have found this months ago so as not to have caused as much pain to my partner...
This made me realize things so much. I'm currently in the power struggle and it's been the worse for me I just want things to be so perfect but the arguments and everything gets in the way and we both can't seem to realize that is as a couple we should get through them and we're way too much of a couple to be arguing. I love my girlfriend..
I watched the video and now realize we're in the power struggle phase simply because I feel I've given up so much for her, and I've lost myself...I use to be happy go lucky and she wants my old self back.
Thanks for your help. I have been with my ex for over 7 years now with 2 sons. I'm still so lost Bruce and in so much pain of loosing her now that its driving me insane. One of my lady friends told me I needed to detach from her so she can miss me. The problem is she moved another man in within 2 weeks of our seperation. I feel like she keeps me stringing along so She can keep the control, and still have her way too. Please give me your best advice on how to deal with this pain I'm going through. Thanks and God Bless You!!
This is the most sensible and true discription of relationship stages. Great content. thanks you
I love this guy! I think you really are onto something... the key to world peace. So sad to see how many marriages break up so unnecessarily. These skills can be used across all sectors of relationships. Thank you and your partner for having the courage to move forward even when things were really tough. It's fighting for the literal "love", not fighting for "the fight". Many people fight for the "fight" to stay in it just to continue fighting... I like the idea of fighting to get to the love. You are providing us the answer to gender inequality.:)
SO GLAD I LISTENED TO THIS...MAKES GREAT SENSE....I CAN SHARE WITH OTHER HURTING FRIENDS...MIGHT HELP THEM A LOT! THANKS....
I can relate to all of this. My husband withdrew, would not communicate at all and we are now separated because he met someone else and said we grew apart. It all sounds like our marriage down to a tee.
I was in the power struggle and he left me. I was still high in love and broke my heart completely. I love him so much that I accept his good and bad. But he left in a wrong time and was more painful. I miss him right now and really wish I was in his arms. :( but he shatter my heart.
Same here. I know i have my mistakes but i wish we did have the advice from the vid about overcoming each others differences and had better communication and have survived.
Me too:( I would of gone to therapy with but ugh he gave up:( I wish we could of fight together. wish we could of communicate. Sigh there NOTHINNG I can do now:( he told me to move on cause he will move on he said if we meant to be together we will:( screw that:(
Ugh. Its hard when us girls can tolerate so much and even if its to much we dont give up..but them? When we change because we are too hurt they cant take it anymore and just give up on u just like that :/
Thanks. I have made so many mistakes in past relationships and decided I am going to learn more and get some skills so that I can become mature and able to relate. This video has helped me to see the stages. I always mess up at the first stage! we live and we learn!
I wish I had found your video last night. Before I walked out of my relationship.. I was never taught these stages.
Im in the power struggle AGAIN..... I just want to stop this cycle and get passed it and move on with my life.
really valuable video, learnd a lot from that.