Why I STILL Speak English With My French Husband
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- Опубликовано: 28 янв 2022
- Why speaking English with my French husband hasn't changed & navigating the language dynamic inside a bicultural relationship!
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The Frenchie and I have always spoken in English together. But when people find out I am married to a Frenchman, many are quick to tell me off for not speaking French at home with my French husband. I’ve been tsk-tsked by friends, teachers, colleagues, even Uber drivers.
We've heard it a thousand times - GET A FRENCH BOYFRIEND! “It’s the best way to learn!” or “You’re so lucky to have a live-in tutor!”or “Tell him to only speak to you in French.”
If only it was that simple. I declared that NZ would be different, but nope!
Dealing with cultural differences in a relationship is interesting enough, but the language aspect of cross-cultural relationships is not talked about enough! When your partner speaks another language, it's an important dynamic to navigate.
What about you? Are you dating a French man? Or woman? Do you have experience overcoming language barriers in a relationship? Are you a native English speaker who is dating someone whose first language isn't English? I'd love to hear about your experiences down below!
Bisous
Rosie
P.S. Speaking English in France definitely slowed my progress - your tips for switching even a little bit are much appreciated!
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The teacher/student dynamic is exactly why my partner and I speak English together. It is too much pressure to put on him and when I'm frustrated I don't want to place that on him. Thanks for this relatable video Rosie❤️
I have a French boyfriend, but our experience with this has gone differently. I already had a B1 level of French when we met but still didn't want to speak French to him all the time as my speaking skills were not great. But once I started studying at a French university I managed to pick up the language quite quickly. At the same time he started studying at an English university so we swapped languages. And now 4 years later we speak a mixture of both at the same time, but I speak more French and he speaks more English ! 😂💁♀
Hey Rosie! Super interesting video!
My boyfriend is Italian, and I am French. When we met, we used to communicate in English only.
I really thought we would not switch because it was our “language” that our relatives could not understand aha.
When I moved to Italy first, we kept speaking English. But somehow, after 1 year or so, we switched to Italian without realizing it. I think we switched when my level of Italian became better than his level of English.
After six years together, we speak mostly Italian with some words in French and English here and there.
Yet, I realize that it’s almost always in English when I talk to him about work (I work in English). And we speak on FaceTime (which we used to do every day when we were in a long-distance relationship before I moved to Italy); it’s also in English.
As a french person who used to live in Ireland and New Zealand for few years, I completely understand the struggle of not being able to express yourself properly when you learn the language. It's very frustrating and it took me a while to be able to make jokes or more "clever" comments that make me feel part of an "adult" or deep conversation. It's hard at the beginning because you don't see improvements and you want it to go faster. But with patience and hard work, and always with the people I met along the way, I've learned all this, and even if I made lots of progress, I still have to improve and I still feel different when I speak English sometimes.. This double personnality thing is real, but that's also very interesting to understand it and see how it evolves with the language and the experience
Thanks for this video that is very interesting!
You made a very good point about not wanting your partner to be your professor/French teacher. The expectation and pressure can change the relationship dynamic. Something I recently thought about when it comes to cross cultural relationships is the mental load of having to "teach or correct" can be exhausting.
Also: noticed a lot of people making assumptions about taking into consideration what your children will be taught. Assuming if you CHOOSE to have kids in the first place.
Hi Rosie, so relatable! Like you, I speak English at home with my French husband and it’s always been our relationship language. When we first met, his English far surpassed my French (still does) and it’s what became comfortable. English is the language we got to know each other in.
When I hear him speaking French on the phone for work or with his parents, it makes me laugh because I just think of him as my husband who has an accent in English. I know he is French but I don’t think of him as a French guy, if that makes any sense. I don’t like him as much in French!! :-)
We’ve also tried to switch and it just feels silly so it lasts maybe a couple of hours.
Anyway, great video and so much truth here!
hahahaha, I was actually told by linguists and language learning experts that learning a new language with a romantic partner can be one of the WORST ways to learn a language, lol, they say communication is more important and if you can't communicate well there will be problems. I speak English with my French spouse because his English is WAY better than my French, and he has no patience with me for the most part when I'm trying to speak, though he would love if at some point we spoke completely in French together. When I'm stressed, I get super confused, so I don't communicate well in other than my native language, so yeah, lol, we only speak in English, but with my in-laws and most everyone else, I really try to use French, and my belle-mere has more patience with me and speaks slower to me and if i don't know something she teaches me the words and phrases to use in context (my husband would rather give a full lecture of the grammar usage which really frustrates me, lol)
from my personal experience, if I'm introduced to someone using a particular language, I associate that person with that language, and it's really hard for me to switch, like my husband's friends I was introduced to them in English (all of them, if they aren't already fluent in speaking English they are extremely competent with their listen comprehension, because of their fields of study and having to use English quite often), even though for the most part they only speak to me in French, I still only speak to them in English. with my classmates from my French class, even though most if not all are either primary language English or English is their best second language they speak, since I was introduced to them only in French, I only associate French with them and only speak in French with them, it's really weird, lol
It sounds like you and Nils (sp?) have worked it out for your relationship. Don't feel guilty about not speaking French with him.
I thought 💭 that would be the case when I started dating my French man. He kept telling me that my French will improve once we’re in France 🇫🇷🤷🏻♀️. His family speaks more French with me than he does.
Ohhhh, I hear you! My story is similar, but my husband’s Colombian so we were using Spanish. Now we’re back in Australia and things have slipped. However, I have one motivator that may change things if you’re thinking about it: kids. We have two girls and have tried to teach them (I speak English and him Spanish) as well, but now that they’re older they just won’t use it as everything else is in English. Our friends that have two Spanish speakers at home, their kids have a good grasp of the language. If you plan on having kids, and want them to learn, it helps in my opinion. Oh and we did the living between two countries thing too, but once they start school everything changes and things get harder. Best of luck with it all, you’ll figure out what’s best for all of you 😊
I understand your struggle. My step daughter is half Argentinian and I have many friends who are rising up kids in multiple languages. When my step daughter was little, she was refusing to learn and use Spanish (her world is in French). So, when they returned to Argentina for vacations, my bf decided to enrol her to a summer day camp so she didn't have the choice to speak Spanish with the other kids. Plus, he started the practice of only speaking to her in Spanish and not answering her when she was speaking French. It worked.
Oh I definitely get you! I am german, my husband is italian.We met each other living in Belgium .He did not speak german, I did not speak his language back then, so french was our first language. Since that time (12 years ago) things have changed quite a bit since we lived a couple of years in Italy and got two children. I am fluent in italian now so our ‘family of four language’ is italian. I speak german with the kids, my man italian and between us our couple language is french but italian pops in quite a lot.Definitely NO german cause he does not speak a word
@@NotEvenFrench Speaking as someone who moved back and forth between Australia and Europe growing up even if you do find an understanding international school I would strongly discourage moving this much. There have been many studies done on the harm of moving for children- I am happy to link them but of course I would encourage you to do your own research- it is primarily linked with higher instances of poor mental health but other things too (even seemingly earlier mortality)- even accounting for socioeconomic background and even for children that just moved house but stayed at the same school. They don't consider the specific circumstances of the moves but I moved back and forth between the same places (i.e. not 15 different countries, the same two countries/towns back and forth forever) and I know that it had a detrimental effect on me, and my sense of identity- I don't feel that it had much of an academic effect (which is one of the recognised negative impacts) but I will say that my coping mechanism for dealing with hard things (including school projects but even now work hassle) is thinking 'well I won't be here when that happens/is due/will affect daily life' like I would often miss due dates for big projects because I would move just in time to avoid them and it's taken me a long time to train myself to deal with hard stuff in a healthy way. Anyway, this is a total ramble and by all means ignore me- please don't see this as me trying to intrude or judge you or anything, just speaking as the child of restless parents I really wished they'd just picked one place (honestly would've preferred Europe but I know my brother would've preferred Australia)- especially sucks that NZ and France are so far away, I forever wish my parents were from countries that are geographically closer and I'm sure your kids will feel the same. Sorry to intrude but just mildly triggering haha so thought I'd tell my life story- apologies for the ramble but I do hope you look into the impacts because they are not negligible. On the plus side I do think I'm more adaptable than other people and moving (including intentionally) is never a big deal for me, nor are most new experiences.
Mmm. I think almost everyone learns driving from their parents .
I was in a relationship with a Quebecois man . I am anglophone, level intermediate plus in French but extremely self conscious to speak w French people socially. He had about equal ability in English.
So we had a great system/ I would only speak English to him and he spoke French to me. It was awesome! We both had comprehension in our 2nd language leaps and bounds ahead of actually speaking it so this way we both felt comfortable.
When I met his parents I spoke basic French (they couldn’t speak nor understand English well as they lived in small town PQ) and they were very gracious. There were only a few times I had to rattle off something detailed in English and my bf or his sister would “translate” for me. His whole family was unbelievably kind to me and his mom said she hadn’t seen him that happy in many years, so I think that helped.
I for one did not. All my friends and I took driving lessons at school.
But what you say is true. I have only one French friend whose English comprehension is at that level, and it is such a joy to each speak our native languages with one another in the same conversation. Rosie, you and Niels should try that!
I really enjoyed this video and related so much! I’m English and my partner is French, we have been together 6 years and currently live in the U.K. One of the main things I really related to, is that fact that our partners are not French professors! Doug can tell me that I’ve said something wrong but he can’t always explain why in a beneficial way and ends up getting a bit frustrated with himself. I enrolled at a linguistic school and have made much better progress by not relying on Doug! We speak French at home when we can but it’s always going to be predominately English for us! 😄
@@NotEvenFrench We decided to only speak English at home between my husband and I. After many fights! Thanks Rosie and everyone for sharing
JUST returned from my first trip ever to a Francophile country (Martinique) where I was truly trying to use the French I had been working on for over a year for the first time. It was hard. Once we were heading back to the US, we got to the airport and my brain was just so done with trying to speak French after a week of struggle with my basic beginner level French.
I know it gets easier, I’ll continue to work on it, but you saying you needed a safe space or a place to truly unwind after speaking French all day COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND now.
Rosie, we are one and the same! I, too, would get frustrated whenever my French partner would correct me- even though I’m the one who requested assistance in the first place! 😅 Lovely video, as usual. ✨
The point about kids is really important! All the research does point to having one parent only speak one language and the other only speak the other, and in my opinion, bilingualism isn't just about learning about your parents culture and being able to speak to extended family, but it's about providing your child with all of the societal benefits that come with being able to speak a language fluently (like a massive increase in job opportunities) and having them speak a language without an accent allowing them to blend in with native speakers of that language, especially when considering how non-native speakers of languages are typically not treated as well as native speakers.
When I met my French partner, I'd recently passed the C2 and we still speak to each other in English 😅 I think it's because when we first met he was really excited to speak in English with a native speaker and as you said, once you establish a relationship pattern in a certain language it can be really hard to break. I have several French friends whom I speak English with because when I met them it was in an anglophone environment and then our relationship was just set-up that way and even though I spoke French, we never made the switch. At the same time I have friends whom I met in a francophone environment and our relationship is primarily in French.
With my partner, I find the easiest way to speak French is to add another francophone in the mix because as soon as the environment leans more francophone it's like the center of gravity switches. As for making the transition of speaking French when it's just the two of us, I think it's just something that I'm going to need to push myself to do.
HI! firstly thank you for this video really. I think you're so right about the "student role" and the difficulty of keeping the different "roles" seperate. It was a really good decision that both of you have this safe space with the english language. That you don't want to be "his student" is an important thing because it will bring another vibe and dynamic into the relationship - if I can say that. Just keep doing what you do and slowely but surely your french will be even better and better. Maybe one day you will speak french with each other instead of english but that's for the time to see and it doesn't have to be for sure. Just do what's comfortable for the both of you, this is the most important I think. One thing I'd like to add is this: If you study by yourself or with the help of others and show your SO he/she will be really surprised and also really happy that you make an effort and try to learn the language. It takes a lot of time, patience and practise to learn a new language but that's where your own drive comes in and if you have the willpower you will be able to do it, I'm sure of it :) Again, thank you for the video and I hope this is something which will be talked about more because I have never seen someone do a video with this kind of topic before. It was really insightful so thank you again :)
Just loved this video ! It's so good yo hear you speak about that aspect of your relationship, and the "comfort zone" English provided you at some tough times in your life ! A pleasure to hear hear your insights, as always
Hi Rosie
Your video could not come at a better time! I even showed it to my husband. Thank you so very much for all your videos and thank you for being so generous in sharing your experience here. I am South African, my husband is French, we met with him speaking English to me. I also had no interest in learning French, we lived in SA and now been in France for exactly 2 years. I have just started working with a very experienced, professional and super amazing French coach. From French in Plain Sight whose helping us, as a family to overcome ALL of what you are describing. Absolutely everything you have said was on point. I just love you! I love the way you speak French. Well done to you!!! Your videos are so encouraging and helpful.
thank you for this video! I am French, my partner is dutch, we met in New-Zealand and then we went to live in the Netherlands. We only speak english. He doesn't speak a word of french wich is completely fine by me and i have learn dutch because we live here and have a camping.
Everybody is always telling me we should speak dutch, with him and telling me that if they were in my shoe they would make the effort... I've always felt bad about it, But like you say, i speak enough dutch to work and live, and it was always my dream to speak english in my daily life, we met in english it's just so natural for us.
SO THANK YOU ! it really releive me to hear this
I absolutely love your honesty and transparency! I truly enjoy your videos. I learn something new from each and every one of them. Thank you for being you! 💕
I’m so glad you’re back living in New Zealand!! Your quality of life will be so much better & happier!! ❤️
It depends where you are in France. and as Rosie said before Paris is not France.I live in Provence I’m not far from the sea, the mountains, the fruits and veggies are homegrown and the wine is local too the quality of life is amazing
Hi Rosie, I started studying French last year at the Alliance Française. I listen French every day (TV, radio). I also bought a Pronunciation book and do self-study myself as a complement. I am at the A2 level. I read also, audio books. You could take a class at the Alliance Française or even regular classes at the university, since you are advanced.
Interesting video! It's definitely a motivation thing because it takes A LOT of effort to switch from a language you're already used to speaking with your partner. I met my boyfriend in France, but he is Italian and I am an English speaker, but quickly into the relationship I realized that I really wanted to learn Italian and I managed to convince him to gradually make the switch from English (and occasionally French) to mostly Italian with some English. Not easy to switch but so worth it to master a language :)
Hi!
I am not in a bilingual household however what you explained is what I lived through with my penpal/turned oldest frien in the world. We met on a school exchange when we were 13. I spent 2 weeks in London with her family and we got on like house on fire. From the get go it was obvious that my English was way better than her French therefore, we quickly settled in speaking English only. It was natural and so much more comfortable as we were getting closer as friends. Very much alike your relationship with Niels. As a consequence I became fluent, she didn't LOL. That was very selfish on my part, I confess.
I agree when you spoke about having passion in doing something bc yes it takes a lot of hard work and patience. I have a passion for languages so it comes naturally for me to just want to master and improve myself in the language I’m learning so I just continue speaking persistently. From my experience if you are persistent you will improve a lot faster than you think and I know it’s easier said than done but if you do this you will find yourself eventually speaking effortlessly. The most important thing I found in my language learning journey is the importance of listening. Listening is the fundamental part bc you will be surprised how much you will pick up only just by listening so if you don’t fancy speaking just set aside some time to just listen because I found even my accent improved by just listening. Good luck on your learning journey! Really good video thanks for sharing
I can definitely relate to the part about having a different personality when you speak a different language. Even though I do speak French with my partner (we switch back and forth), I'm well aware there are things about my personality he'll probably never understand, because I can't get it to come across in French and his English isn't quite good enough to get the subtleties of what I'm saying and how I'm saying it.
I didn't know you'd been to New York! That's close to my neck of the woods in Connecticut. For some reason I thought you'd never been to the U.S.
Rosie this is such a great video! You are an amazing communicator and I found your reasons so interesting. I think you will be a great Mum by the way 😊
I agree! Rosie is so analytical; she will approach mothering the way she has taken on her other life projects... and will succeed as brilliantly.
I grew up in a multicultural family where I had to learn both French and English at the same time. Over years though, I've lost some of my French at least the minor details. I live in CA and don't get to practice my French very much. I just don't feel confident enough anymore to speak in French as much as I used to when I was a kid. So I totally understood what you said. 🙂
I've always marvelled at our best friends in our neighborhood and how easily they transition between Hindi and English. Both languages seem to be their "first language" because they grew up learning English and moved here over 20 years ago and work in English, but they speak Hindi at home. My son's best friend (17) is half Japanese and they only speak Japanese at home (and he's lived equally between to two countries), but he admits that his Japanese is slipping away as he gets older and plans to remain in the US. I've studied French for 30+ years, but I don't speak it at a level where my personality could shine, like you mentioned. I find that aspect very interesting. Language and linguistics is fascinating to me. Our brains really are marvelous things to work the way they do with language. Thanks for the fun video!!
This is one of my favorite videos of yours. Very truthful and easy to understand your perspective. As a monolingual American, I really feel the need to learn another language. You have influenced my desire.
Forgot to say, my husband speaks French to our kids (his only just started speaking to them since we moved here), I speak English. But I am bilingual, Afrikaans and English. I am now learning French and got my A2. Your video made me feel so much better thanks again.
Thanks for your honesty!! I agree, you really need a strong reason to learn. It’s too hard to expect to be fluent in a context that doesn’t support it. Language is there to enhance life, so however it all works out best. All best wishes to your family and you! 🇫🇷🇳🇿
Love the French language for itself, of course, but you’re right, it shouldn’t get in the way. Much love -
Hi! My ex is Parisian and unilingual. He wanted to date me because I am an anglophone and he wanted to learn. I am also fluent in French. Our whole relationship was in French. I tried to speak to him in English because he wanted to learn and within moments we were back to French 🙄 Over the course of our relationship his English improved but the (un)spoken rule was French.
American here. I follow your channel because I love France, have a project coming up in Paris, and am thinking to settle there (or at least live there part time) once the project is complete, so I really appreciate and enjoy your videos and thoughts. I can relate to this one in particular in other ways; my previous expat home was Beijing, and my (Chinese) gf, who is moving with me to France, is also fluent in English yet my Chinese sucks, even after the better part of a decade of learning and practice - so we speak English together almost exclusively. I've been learning French for the last 18 months and my skills in it are already light years ahead of my Chinese. She also wants to learn French next, so...maybe we'll practice in that together at home in the future. And she'll probably quickly surpass me in that one, too! She has a gift for languages and really knows how to study in ways that elude me. Q: Is there a third language that you've tried to learn with your husband?
My ex was Danish, I tried to learn Danish while living in Denmark and it was not happening as my job there was in English. Now that I am two years into learning French, I realised too I didn’t really care about Danish while French always attracted to me. So learning Danish was a chore while learning French is a joy.
My girlfriend is American and I'm French. I came to the US for college and now I'm going home and she's likely coming with me, so I've been helping her practice her French but we also haven't made the switch because as you said, once you start the relationship in one language it feels unnatural to change it! But I do love that over time as she learns more French I can just say a few things in French after a long day in English and she understands. Thanks for a great video:)
I relate so much to this video! I feel like I am an anglophone Niels and my husband is a francophone Rosie. We live in France and speak French at home. When our friends ask if my husband has improved his English after being together for so long, I tell them that I'm his partner, and not his teacher... It's complicated. I tried teaching, but we get frustrated with each other. We've tried speaking only English in the evening, but since our relationship is based in French and we are often tired, we always switch back to French not just because it's easier, but as a couple it's important that we can communicate freely with each other. He has mostly improved his English from our trips to visit my family. I find that immersion experiences help so much more than trying to mold our relationship into student-teacher roles
Lovely blouse :) I see what you mean by equality - and I also have friends I talk to in English even though we are both fluent in French, just because we first met on an English speaking page.
Living at the french-spanish border I know many binational couples. When you have a child, the best way to get the child bilingual from the beginning is simple: each parent must interact with the child in his native language. Only 1 language: his (her) native language. That way the toddler quickly understands there’s one language to speak with dad, and another with mum. That way the child doesn’t mix up the languages. When he gets older, around 6 or 7 he’ll learn that dad’s language is called french, and mum’s one english.
6:30 really good point. I understand what you mean!
you are so intelligent, respect !
Bonbon is adorable.
It is absolutely true that the learner who will achieve fluency and master a language, must have an immense love and commitement to it, every single day. I am one of those learners who actually prefer to only speak in French even though I make mistakes! I find so much joy in expressing myself in my non native language. There is an opportunity here to discover a new personality and emotions, so if you can find a partner who is willing and interested in connecting that way, it can be a powerful thing. The catch is that someone needs to comprise, and unfortunately English is a barrier for most learners when it comes to the bilingual couple.
My first language is French and my boyfriend first language is Spanish. When we met, he was already speaking French well enough (like a B1-B2 level) and I was starting to learn Spanish. So, I developed the habit to text him in Spanish but we were mixing French and Spanish when speaking. Four years later, we still have the same dynamic. It's common in our relationship to had a two languages conversation, especially when we're arguing, where we both speak our first language. We have the same dynamic with our friends because most of them speak and understand both French and Spanish to various degrees.
My boyfriend has a daughter and he only speaks in French to her mother, even though she speaks very well Spanish. They met in French and they say it feels weird for them to speak in Spanish together.
Hello, it's really interesting what you're saying about your husband not being your french teacher. i feel the same the other way around, i'm an english teacher married to a french man (separated now!) what i noticed was that he didn't improve over a certain level of english because i refused to be his teacher... unfortunately a big part of a teacher's job is correction which is basically criticism, you can't really live with someone who's constantly criticising the way you speak. one thing i felt bad about was that he could never fully express himself and we could never fully understand each other like a couple of the same mother tongue language, and i felt bad for him because he was the one who was making the effort to speak a different language the whole time. you're pretty lucky there that your husband actually wanted to speak english, for us it was just one of those annoying things.
You asked for tips - I don't have a concrete, practical one, but I've been in the same situation, and I think that it is feasible to make this change (part-change) and that it wouldn't be awkward for a long time, that pretty quickly you'd get used to talking in another language/code switching, despite the linguistics of your heritage. I didn't think it was possible either, but it is. And my partner and I are juggling three languages. And at this point you know so much French that you could have conversations or parts of conversations in French without it only being about the weather. But of course you need to know what you want, as you aren't anymore in a position where you depend upon speaking French, which makes it easier. And I can understand that it's difficult if your partner isn't very patient, in fact I probably took it for granted that my partner is. Maybe talk to Niels if this is important enough for you. Perhaps he'd appreciate also to be able to be his French personality from time to time.
But yeah, it's easy to get stuck on a language level if you don't depend on more than getting by on an everyday life basis. I am at this point myself...
I read one novel in French last year, perhaps I ought to try and read two this year, to keep an atteignable goal. That's a good idea to apply in general I suppose - you could speak French with your husband like ten minutes per day (or whatever).
My ex who was German, and reasonably fluent in English, once said to me you can never get to truly know someone unless you are both fluent in the same language. I have often wondered about that.
Went from Spanish as native language everyday through university to English everyday post graduate. Married a Canadian and live in US as the neutral territory, as we call it.
Currently, no one can tell I am not a native speaker of English. I had been in immersion English school during my early school years and lost the Spanish accent early on.
So husband and kids… kids understand Spanish but do not speak it fluently at all. There was minimal exposure to Spanish back then while living in an English speaking country (pre-Internet , etc).
The hubs… Like you, languages are not really his main academic interest and, honestly, I did not want to be his teacher so his Spanish is basically survival level.
Kids now live in Canada and their children are in French immersion school as that is the second official language (the hubs does not speak it fluently either - lol).
The children speak it beautifully and without an English accent. It differs somewhat from France French, of course, but should they move to France, they would adjust quickly and as needed.
Long story short- immersion school for kids is the best chance for them to master a second language. I imagine that would be more easily found in France, but you never know.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience because it's been two years i have moved to France and really after taking few courses my standard in speaking has not reach level A2 because my wife is french who keeps switching to English and i find it easier to express in English. It's very hard to learn at home because the message between couples should reach one another quick so they will use the language which faster. I feel lighter after listening to you because i feel i am lost in learning the French language and no motivation is coming at all. I am speaker of pashtu, Urdu, Hindi, Arabic and English. Now catching up a new language at the age of 36 is kinda next level challenge. Too much cultural miss out and many complications. God help me.
Are you pathan/pakhthun ?
@@abcxyz-cx4mr Yes, I am pashtun from Pakistan and have spent my childhood days in Dubai. UAE.
@@mohammadqasim4152 -
Thank you for replying, may I ask you if your wife is ethnic French? Sorry if I’m being too nosey.
Hi Rosie, I saw that you may be playIng guitare. Have you heard of the old Kinks song: Rosie won't you please come home. Kind regards, Alain
Omg this is my relationship... Everything is like oh learn French... Maybe someday... I wasn't looking for a guy from Paris...it just worked out that way.
you know what's funny about this? how your english has been affected (mainly in word choice) by your acquisition of french :)
I am not in a relationship, but I have been a Francophile for most of my life. I would like to use my future man as a French language partner, but it’s not necessary. There are always podcasts, online and offline meetups, and language schools.
Ce n'est pas très sympathique ! pour votre futur homme de l'utiliser comme partenaire ,pour apprendre le français ?
@@ybreton6593 Est-ce que tu as lu mes commentaires? J’ai dit que je voudrais avoir un mari/chum qui peut m’aider avec l’apprentissage du français, mais ce n’est nécessaire. J’ai spécifiquement mentionné les autres options pour s’améliorer ma compétence. Si je décide de travailler avec un mari/chum pour apprendre une langue, c’est ma choix. Bien sûr, je vais confirmer qu’il est d’accord avec cette idée aussi.
I wouldn’t try to learn a new language through a romantic partner. As others have said, it changes the dynamic of your relationship more to a student-teacher relationship. Now from time to time if you want to ask your partner for advice about things you don’t understand, or ask about what language to use in a complex topic, then that’s probably fine on an occasional basis. However, I wouldn’t use a romantic partner as a sounding board to learn a new language, because of the dynamics of such a relationship.
Between my wife and I and the country we live in, we have to jungle between 3 languages. It is very sad to think that I will never be able to deeply communicate with her as we have to pass through two language barriers and the loos of granularity, precision and resolution is massive. Also, English feels poor as a language, I believe both because of our non native knowledge but also by design and the Anglosaxon history hence it is very popular because simple to use but then you loose that much indeed. So, what we do sometime is we write some letters to one another in our own language. We try to use very specific vocabulary or expression from our native language and then we Google translate it; skipping the English part all together. And it is incredible; a fabulous new connection to one another really. It might be noted that some part of our language are quite compatible such as some polite form or formal way to speak. It takes time to exchange that way as it is quite a process but the depth and the thoughts are so more profound and rich; I highly recommend to any multi cultural couple. Regarding the children, one thing I never thought about before is that us men speak in average 3 time less than women 😅 also we tempt not to be an connected to the infant especially during the breast feeding part so men do need to force themselves into practicing with their children especially enfants.
Like water, communication takes the path of least resistance. When you're with someone else you speak the language both can communicate in best. If you want to speak with him in French, you'll need to improve your French until it's as good as or better than his English.
I can see Bonbon 😎🍬🐅 She is so cute.
Did I spell her name correctly❔
c'est un theme tres interessant, je t'en remercie. seuls ceux qui ont vécu à l'étranger peuvent le saisir profondément.
Je voudrais savoir les modifications psychologiques que ton époux a subi en vivant dans un environnement anglophone où la langue française n'est pas très utile. Car en France, le rapport à la langue française est puissant, et partant, certains Français s'étonnent donc que des Asiatiques, par exemple, ne parlent pas français. Ça parait absurde, mais c'est vrai, et ce sont des Français habitant en Asie qui le racontent. On croit même, on me l'a dit à moi-même, que la langue française est la meilleure' langue du monde..
Du coup, j'ai toujours voulu entendre des Français ayant vécu à l'étranger, dans un pays non francophone, s'exprimer sur leur sentiments qu'ils éprouvent, et les modifications qu'ils ont subi dans ce pays. Je crois que parmi les modifications c'est l'humilité. On se décentre, culturellement c'est à dire qu'on réalise qu'on n'est pas le centre du monde.
Things can get determined by your children, which country you live in and what schooling the children have. You may never make a complete switch but may switch in and out of both languages.
Oh Rosie, I didn't know you had a pet! Is Bonbon a cat?
i felt the same way
Dear Rosie, I wanna be you when I grow up. Do you have a guide for this? 😂😆
Videos starts at 3:20
My husband and I speak 70% in English even though we both speak French that's why I decided to join an online class so I can practice
Will you show us your husband?)
Hello Rosie, what I think about all you said is that you’re a such devoted and unselfish person though your husband is the opposite of these adjectives on this matter.
My comment is not meant to hurt you.
i don't think that is actually the case.
@@LauraMorland well, according to little I know with Rosie’s videos telling about her decisions with his husband, it’s always Rosie who gives up on opportunities by putting an effort to let her husband achieve his desires and ambitions.
I feel she has to put herself in second place every time when they have to make a decision.
That’s my opinion.
@@uygar9931 I think that she is thrilled to be living in her home country near her family and friends! Furthermore, prices have gone up and they could not have afforded the house they own, had they arrived back in New Zealand any later. And she's working for herself, on her own hours and terms, rather than for a multinational corporation... It sounds like the dream life, not a dominated wife!
Might it not be a possibility for your husband to speak in French and you answer in English?
I'm German and I live in an area where the older generation speaks a variation of Low German that is quite different from Standard High German.
My parents tried to raise me in High German, although they couldn't speak the language very well.
When I started correcting their German they decided to switch back to Low German.
Ever since then they mainly speak Low German with us kids and we speak Standard German with them.
Although I never spoke the language primarily and don't like speaking it with my parents - I can make myself understood if I talk to other elderly people in Low German. And strangely enough I actually like speaking the language with them...
And I still pick up new Low German expressions and phrases from my parents 🤷🏼♀️
Maybe just start with one day in the week where HE talks French and YOU continue to speak English 🤔
Yes I agree with this! My partner and I speak both French and English and sometimes we do this when we're both tired.
"The effort you have to put in to master a language like french is immense" ... Good you didn't have to learn russian, polish, arabic, hebrew, korean chinese or japanese then
You could use both languages. You speak in English, and he reply in French.
Do you ever think you can speak English and niels speak French when you're at home? You can do that before you had kids
Yes! I just suggested that above....
Who cares.
Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.
J'ai été avec un quelqu'un et nous n'avons pas prononcé un mot d'anglais avant que les niveaux de langue s'equivalent.
Nous passions d'une langue à l'autre par la suite de façon harmonieuse et équilibrée.
Honnêtement, je trouve qu'il y a un manque de courage et de "couilles" dans votre attitude et un brin de paresse.
La joie de connaître une langue étrangère est de l'utiliser et de vivre des expériences différentes intérieurement et avec les autres.
Par exemple, je me sens plus masculin en anglais et féminin en espagnol.
La satisfaction vient avec l'effort.
Pas impressionné par this go with the flow attitude.
Regards,
Elle a créé une chaine youtube tout autour de son expérience. Ca ne suffit pas ? Elle parle le français et aime la culture, mais sa relation avec son mari et personnelle, et on n'est pas là pour la juger. Elle fait ce qu'elle veut. Point.
excuse moi c'est un commentaire inutile et contre productif,.
Je dirais que votre niveau d'anglais n'est peut-être pas aussi bon que vous le pensez, car vous ne semblez pas avoir compris ce qu'elle a dit dans la vidéo. Et aussi parce que vous avez écrit en français. Pourquoi pas en anglais si vous tenez aussi fort à vous y entraîner ?
@@Rachel-rs7jn Bien sûr. Alors, que je maîtrisais l'anglais avant que vous soyez née.
@@bvignola2907 Okay, donc, pourquoi vous écrivez en français ici et non pas en anglais, alors que la vidéo est en anglais ? D'ailleurs, j'ai mis ma date de naissance où ? 🤔