Saw this tweeted but I don't remember who tweeted it, they said "everyone questions how a nine-year-old boy would know he was gay but nobody's questioning how other nine-year-olds knew that meant he should be hated." I think that's far more important.
That's a good question because God knows we live in a world where no one really cares about your sexuality...? I mean I could find it strange but ..Is it a reason to bully him?
I came close to being this parent. This last year my kid, who is 11, was bullied so bad that he wrote a suicide note. He wasn’t bullied for his sexuality, he was bullied because he has Tourette’s. I took all the right steps to prevent the bullying but apparently talking to the teachers and principal wasn’t good enough. I took my kid out of school for a couple days without notifying them. We had a ton of fun and they got scared shitless. When I brought him back to school, they were glad he was there but we had a very serious talk about their supposed “0 tolerance for bullying” rule. My kids bullies were suspended the next day and the parents were told exactly why, this was a month before school ended. I still think of that day that he wrote the suicide note. I think of the panic and the hollow feeling I felt in my chest. I think of the hospital visit and just holding my kid the whole time, not wanting to let go. I think of my past and how I started having suicidal thoughts when I was just 7 years old, and somehow it was all my fault. I think about if I didn’t get my kid help now, how I would be planning a funeral. I feel so much for this mother. Yes, kids can be dicks, but this goes way beyond that. Bullying has consequences and I hope that this child and his family are not the only ones that got consequences. My deepest condolences go out to this family.
The problem is a systemic negligence. Kids will only do what they can get away with. They're smarter than most give them credit for. Kids who bully often choose specific targets. Sometimes they travel in packs. These are not things that are difficult to notice. Kids who are bullied don't often talk to teachers about it, as they're afraid of making the attacks more vicious. They don't tend to talk to their parents about incidents either. Sometimes because they don't want to escalate the situation, but also because they don't want their parents to worry or be disappointed. Adults MUST be the adult in these situations! They need to be vigilant and protect children from each other. Parents cannot hang out at school and watch over their kids. They trust school staff to be the guardians of their children during the day. It's time the schools stopped this epidemic of apathy. Bragging about Zero Tolerance policies while turning a blind eye until it's too late can no longer be an acceptable effort. You are so very lucky. Your kid is so very lucky to have you.
I used to have tourrettes, I remember when I used to get bullied for that. Tell your son that he's not alone, that he will get through it and it gets better with age. I barely have bouts of tics now. And people become more understanding.
I told a girl in the 3rd grade that I loved her. Kids also think all sorts stuff. It doesn't matter if he thought he was gay or a dinosaur. He didn't deserve to be bullied because of it.
Right! My niece swore she was a cat all through 2nd grade. Went as far as wearing cat ear headbands for most of the school year... everyday... none of her classmates cared. There was 1 asshole parent would got mad about it (why? idk lol) but the teacher said "as long as her hair accessories aren't a distraction in school, she can wear them." I want to know where these kids learned to say such awful things. Is is social media? TV? Parents? Online gaming? I want to know who taught those kids to be so mean and hateful.
@@kurtcocaine1866 my thoughts are, how would a 9yr old even know what the answer was? I'm just saying, we can talk about mental illness and suicide, but he was 9, and proud of himself and excited and nervous to share his truth. They bullied him into non-existence. This isn't "he was so depressed and felt it was the only way" He was cruelly rejected and emotionally pushed. My heart hurts. I feel kids learn hate and intolerance first and foremost from their parents. RIP little sunshine ❤
Witchy Mel firstly do we know he was bullied so horrendously? Because the way the story is presented he had 4 days to endure the worst abuse ever. Second, about not knowing the answer, its 2018 and the internet is a thing aside from having counselors and a family, a family which he was comfortable asking to buy him girl clothes yet he disclosed nothing about being bullied so bad he killed himself? Doesnt add up. Also if he'd have learned to love himself and accept that with the choice he made he inevitably would be looked at differently, and especially by children who have mob mentality and an extremely narrow world view, he could have just endured the bullshit, or gotten new friends. Point is he was dumb for killing himself, and it clearly shows how he wasn't prepared for life. He would have thrown the gift of living away if his car didn't start later in life.
@@troymcclure681Did you not get crushes as a kid, ooor? You seem to be arguing with opinions and feelings instead of facts though, so honestly I wouldn't care anyway.
My issue is the fact there are kids at his school, elementary aged children, who are already spewing hate, homophobia and bigotry. A poor reflection on society and their family.
Difference between shitty parenting and homophobia, there's nothing to say this was because of his sexuality, AT ALL, so don't even try to say thats why. Lmfao.
Boys are shitters in general at that age because they haven't learned tolerance or open-mindedness yet. Not an excuse, but a correction to your assertion that they're already hateful bigots. Like no they're not, kids are just assholes. Secondly, I think we should be more alarmed that a nine year old boy would know what suicide was (he shouldn't), and that it is a supposed means to end a sorrowful situation (it damn well isn't).
Agreed. To hold 8 year old kids to moral standards that SHOULD be applied to adults is not very practical. Kids that age are completely unaware. Even if this poor kid felt he was being bullied, the "bullies" in this case probably didn't even know they were doing it. I have a daughter this age and am constantly reminding her to think of how something makes someone else feel. It's just harder for them to put themselves in others shoes. Has nothing to do with parenting, it's just the age and the cognitive maturity of that age group.
Bullying is just disgusting and robs people of their self worth. Bullying both as kid and as adult nearly drove me to suicide. As a first gen American with a Panamanian heritage, there wasn’t a ton acceptance. I wasn’t black enough for African Americans, wasn’t Latino enough, and too Other for the south... Being the smart kid in the era of Steve Urkel and Carlton Banks, wasn’t praise worthy... the people were supposed to support you and champion you for showing your value, kicked you in the face because you made them feel inferior instead of proud, It was relentless and it never really stopped. I started getting bad grades because I would cut class and hide in the school just to not deal with certain people and because my teachers didn’t stand up for me... I didn’t always feel like I could go to my mom because she was going through her own issues and had my 3 younger siblings... If it wasn’t for the support of good friend I wouldn’t be here today... It’s so sad that in all these years... the world hasn’t gotten any better when it comes to this. Children are still tormented for just being themselves and not allowed to have any pride or agency... forced to fit in or feel like they have no way out... Just sad... 😥
Roberto Blake Teachers for some reason never stand up for anybody. Maybe I ran into the bad ones, but whenever something happened with a bully and I told the principles there'd never be any punishment and I'd just get targetted.
For the guy who tweeted “why so many kids know about suicide and homosexuality”. It isn’t the internet. I’m 20 and I was bullied when I was in the 4th grade as well, told to kill myself and that I belonged in hell no one would miss me. There was a kid in my grade who wasn’t gay but still was bullied because he wore a pink shirt. Hell I was questioned in the 2nd grade if I was gay or not from a classmate, she wasn’t malicious about it but she kindly asked me. I told her no because I was scared that if I told her yes I would be bullied even worse. These kids learn shit from their parents and older generations. The internet shouldn’t be used as a scapegoat for everything.
9 and 10 year olds were most certainly on the internet 10 years ago. I genuinely don't understand how kids bullying *you* proves that the internet is not involved in what mature topics (suicide) really young kids know about.
Pre-Packaged _ The said kid I mentioned that bullied me when I was 9, well let’s just say he was a very consistent little shit. The bullying and taunting went as far as kindergarten. Internet use for children was unheard of in 2003. And I remember a teacher/parent meeting with my 2nd grade teacher and my mom. She mentioned that the said bully in question had bullied other children, I wasn’t the only one and that he had problems at home. So most of the “mature” matters you’re mentioning do stem from the household.
I couldn’t agree more, @Ashley Melendez. Bullying existed long before the internet, which should prove that the internet isn’t a sole cause. The internet is a medium for human social behaviour, so people can definitely learn to bully over the internet, and we need to be wary of this. But young people have also learnt it at home and at school for a loooong time.
He was in the fourth grade. People were questioning how he knew he was gay, I'm questioning how those other children learned such hate, or even just didn't learn how to be kind, from their parents. That sweet boy deserved better than he got. I am heartbroken for him and I too would die any death just to trade places with him so he could live and feel loved.
There isn't any actual evidence that he was bullied or that he was gay. That is just what the Mom is saying on social media. And yes, she launched a GoFundMe...
Homosexuality is actually not against our biological principles (whatever they are) if you accept that there are too many people alive today ... having less or no children is actually a good thing, so perhaps homosexuality is a 'natural solution' for the problem of too many people on earth.
For those of you who didn't go look up more on this story: He and one of his sisters had been being bullied throughout the last year. But considering he didn't kill himself until this school year, as well as further things he told his sisters about what he was going through, that's why his Mom believes homophobia was involved. But he'd been being bullied for a long time. This wasn't "4 days and he killed himself." He'd been being harmed. Also for everyone shitting on his Mom: she's flat out said she blames herself because she didn't know how horribly he felt and didn't protect him. So maybe cut her some slack because she's already breaking. And she DID contact the school. She said she spent the last school year in constant contact with the school about bullying issues. So she didn't just blow off her kids nor was she an absentee parent. The school definitely failed here considering they already knew this kid was a target. But then again, my teachers watched me be bullied and literally stood by and did nothing. And I don't mean they heard about it. I mean THEY WITNESSED IT and KNEW and did not care. And I don't think the school would be releasing statements and acknowledging problems if there wasn't confirmed issues.
Yeah i was one of the people shitting on the mom, i feel sorry now for that now i didnt know she actually tried to help his kid but the fucking school didnt help her.
I knew I was straight as early as pre-school when I had a crush on my classmate (I still remember her name which is kinda weird). I don’t see why a gay guy can’t find out he likes boys at the same age.
Sure, but the parents should prepare their children for society and not expect society to understand something outside of their perspective. Bad parenting. Period.
I didn't even know what being gay was at age 9 I'm pretty sure, I started thinking about girls in that way at like age 12 maybe. Everyone is different though.
antipathy17 how is it bad parenting to teach your child to be proud of themselves? why is it you're willing to call the mother who lost her child to bullying a bad parent instead of the parents of the bullies?
Erick Khan they can. But how did they come up with an answer so quickly? I was molested by an older girl when I was a kid and I liked it. Maybe that shaped my sexuality. Even adults can be impressionable but with kids it’s on another much deeper level. Since more than likely people are straight, I wonder what causes people to be gay. People have admitted to sexual encounters having a big factor in what they liked as they got older. And people react differently. It’s a complicated issue and the worst thing to do would be to assume we understand. We don’t.
Glad you raised more awareness of this story, i wouldn't have even heard of it without watching this. So helpful that organisations like "Trevor Project" and more are out there.
Unfortunately, this was reported on too soon without enough facts presented. There's no evidence this kid was bullied and the moms story raises more questions than answers. This story is going to put a lot of egg on people's faces.
This completely breaks my heart. This should NEVER happen. All the people saying how would he know? Really? You didn't have crushes or feelings as a child? I did. And even if you didn't, why does it matter? It doesn't. Regardless of the circumstances, there should never be a reason for a child to want to kill him or herself. No one, no child, should EVER think it's okay to tell someone to kill themselves. Thank you, Phil for sharing these stories and for being so level-headed most of the time.
Shana Leigh crushes and knowing about sexuality are different. We have a right to be skeptical. Too much push for being inclusive, and now a 9 year olds seem to know what being gay is? when i was a small child, my mom raised me as a single parent and had a roommate who was a lesbian. I shrugged it off. Any crushes i had was just that a crush. Nothing serious. having a childhood crush is not the same as knowing your sexuality, and kids need to be taught these things. Where was the kid taught this? he sjw people are trying to make preschoolers watch porn to teach them not to rape. there is a bad youtube channel called queer kids stuff that is a 2-7 age group pushing adult topics on children.
Azura Moonstar seriously? I knew I was gay by the time I was 5. Which was a year after I found out what being gay even was. Just because you, as a straight person, don't understand, doesn't mean your oh so mighty world view is the only right one. When you're different, when you're not like everyone else, *you don't miss it.* And it's not about sexuality. It's about feelings. Period. This little boy knew he liked boys. Period. You don't have the right to question that. And kids know about being gay because it's fucking 2018 and we've finally started treating gay people as normal and don't hide that shit away like it's dirty. What a concept. And pushing inclusivity is what helps protect these kids. This child is dead because or hatred and bigotry and lack of tolerance and parents failing to teach their children compassion. People like you are infuriating beyond words.
Well said. If you are old enough to have a crush, chances are high you know about sexuality. If you're gay, the chance of this increases SIGNIFICANTLY simply because you know that the VISIBLE norm (on TV, in movies, in the home, at your friends, in school, in the textbooks, etc., etc.,) is for you to like someone who IS NOT your sex. How could you POSSIBLY not know you're 'different' if you realize you like the same sex? All your peers would be (assuming CIS/heteronorms/etc) having crushes on opposing sexes, while you're interested in others of the same in-group. It's sort of obvious at that point you're different from them and there are only so many words being used in the world around a child to explain what's going on. *_This is why it is imperative that sexualities other than hetero be properly included in society's discussions, so that children will HAVE the understanding and not be made to feel other; by accepting all sexualities as valid and 'normal', empathy for those who develop this way can be promoted to better effect_* (IE: children won't be so mean if they think there's nothing odd or different at all in the idea of a same-sex crush/pairing/interest). There is absolutely no reason to think a child old enough to have crushes might not know their sexuality. None at all. Literally only possible if they come from a culture where even the word 'gay' is taboo, removing all access to any sort of knowledge of homosexuality in existence, so that said child would LITERALLY not know other sexualities are a thing. Which would damage the child psychologically in significant ways (as we've seen historically).. Crushes and knowing about sexuality are NOT different; that is a distinction about different levels of awareness on the same topic. Just because they can't describe what it is, does NOT mean they can't tell they are drawn to what they are. Also, the idea of a child between 7 and 10 NOT knowing what homosexuality, in the western world, with access to the internet and the ability to spell, is laughable. Most 7 year-old children can work a computer better than most 50 year-olds these days... You think they can't google? That they can't read? That they aren't watching TV shows with same-sex parents displayed on them (common, now, there are whole channels dedicated to children's shows with inclusive content) at home, at friend's homes or at school? That little Timmy hasn't shown little John that funny video on his iPad of the two men 'wrestling' yet? Things aren't like they were pre-internet on the school grounds anymore. Unless you homeschool and helicopter parent your child, they probably know more about sexuality than you think.
Shana Leigh I didn’t have a crush until I was 13 some people develop crushes when they are 5, it’s different for everyone. 9 is actually the average age for people to start having sexual feelings, but I do feel like crushes at the young of an age don’t really mean much and your preferences could change, he could’ve just liked boys more because he thought girls were weird or something, or he may have started puberty and therefore started having sexual feeling for other humans(this is when your true sexuality is discovered). It doesn’t really matter though, as people shouldn’t kill themselves over something as silly as sexuality
It's irrelevant to this discussion whether or not he would actually have been gay having gone through puberty. It's the fact that he told his classmates he was and they appear to have hounded him to death within days for it. That's a genuinely scary scenario.
Keyser Soze yeah, it’s cause he told the,he was gay, not wearing women’s cloths to school knowing he’s a boy. That couldn’t be it. None of the gay kids in my school ever killed themselves or even tried to, and I was in high school at a time that it was even less socially accepted. They weren’t ever told to kill themselves either. This story sounds like he went to school dressed as a woman and was made fun of for it, but they’re using the fact he was Gay as the catalyst for why he killed himself. Highly doubtful. More likely its because of him dressing like a woman. And you can’t argue that it’s sane or mentally healthy todo such a thing if you’re a man.
I I nah man. It depends on what school your at. I get told to kill myself everyday for being gay. If i was 9 when that happened I would prob kill myself cuz when your 9 you think when everyone dont like you its the end of the world. . I say we stop jumping to conclusions and wait for more info.
I am 25 y/o and at the age of 10 I had my first suicide attempt due to bullying - how did I know how to kill myself at such a young age? 1. We had painkillers in the house and my mom had told me that you can’t take too many (when I was sick) cause it’s dangerous so I put 2 and 2 together... 2. I knew that cutting your throat hard enough would kill you just from plain logic... 3. I knew jumping off a bridge in front of a train would be deadly. People give WAY too little credit on what kids know and how far they can think. You shouldn’t worry about HOW a child knows how to kill them selves - you should worry about WHY a child would think it.
Exactly, Kids are way smarter then adults give them credit for. From a young age we're taught "Don't stand close to the railway tracks because you'll die if you fall" ect. We're taught how not to die as part of growing up in school safety. Kids aren't stupid enough not to realize that doing the opposite will kill them if they wanted.
I don't think it would hurt to worry about both as the bullies can tell the victim how to do it. Remember, there's more than one side in this tragedy that played a part.
When I was 7 years old, I tried to kill myself because my parents were divorcing at the time and were fighting everyday. My farther would slam and throw furniture and hurt my mother. My world was falling apart and for some reason, I thought it was my fault. I tried jumping in front of moving vehicle one day while at daycare. I was stopped by my daycare teacher and was sent to a mental hospital where I learned that I wasn't the only one to have a bad home life. What my point is, is that suicide is a real thing even at a young age. I sympathize for Jamel and wish the best for his family. Edit: Thank you all for spreading support and love.
I knew I was straight as an arrow by the age of 4, so why are people surprised that a 9 year old knows he's gay. This shouldn't be the focus anyway, the boy tried to be brave and was bombarded with hatred. The kids involved in the bullying, and their upbringing should be in question.
Kids are assholes. They will pick on anything they deem weird. So to send your son to school with fake nails and feminine clothes is asking for kids to pick on him. I'm not saying its justified, but every kid has a time where they do something shitty without realising the gravity of their actions. Also kids often echo what one person says blindly. This isnt a high school or college were talking about, so we cant act like its an easy blame on somebody because we need somebody to blame. Anybody who had anything to do with this can be blamed if you look for a reason.
Herr Kasten For sure, you’re completely right. It’s not as simple as blaming the kids, because they’re at that immature age. Perhaps they didn’t understand the gravity of their words, and yeah there are so many influences out there that no one person is to blame. But regardless it’s just a shame things turned out this way.
I have a problem with them becoming sexual or being sexualized by fads and trends....be it in glittery beauty pageants, fake fingernails, dyed hair, make up, false eyelashes...Never seemed healthy to me..I feel like kids are impressionable and way to easily groomed. Many parents are opting for the gender neutral parenting and maybe that is a good thing to a point. If a girl chooses a basketball and a boy chooses an easy bake oven.....then you can decide from there instead of imposing it. I just know my family will send boys solders and girls dolls and they have that right.
This breaks me. Hearing his mom say "I still love you," and him trusting his peers enough to go back to school, dressing more feminine and then they took advantage of that. Breaks me. We need to teach more kindness in schools and at younger ages. I know children don't know better. That is no excuse, but we as adults, as parents and teachers and leaders to these young people, we need to be better guidance. Just treat people with love, and protect those that are "different" and deemed more vulnerable to these bullies. My heart is with his family.
Wtf is wrong with all the replies to this comment? The kids probably learned the hate from parents or people around them, a kid should be allowed to express themselves without being bullied for it and what kind of backwards ass mentality of "Oh the single kid who got bullied by their entire class was weak" as if any 9 year old would just brush off being bullied by their entire class. There is something deeply wrong with all of you people.
It starts with the parents.. Some behave as if they are just animals. I think so many people who have kids have serious dysfunctions. It's clear as then they become these insane dysfunctional adults
To the people wondering how a child can know about suicide: No, it's not necessarily media/internet. I spoke to my mom about wanting to kill myself around 6 years old. I told her to get me "the scissors you cut the chicken with" because if they could cut through chicken, they could probably cut through me. She was on the phone with Children's Hospital for hours, following instructions to hide all sharp objects and setting up an emergency therapy appointment. I had *never* heard of suicide, but the urges were still there. I think that once a kid has an understanding of death [usually develops between 5-7 years old], there's this subconscious understanding that they can cause it. Mix that with warnings ["Don't touch those scissors; they could chop your fingers off!" "If you break glass, get an adult; the sharp pieces could cut you and *really* hurt you!" etc.], and kids can come up with ways to kill themselves. They aren't dumb. What DOES surprise me is that his classmates told him to. Yes, bullying has always been around, but I can't remember kids telling others to kill themselves at that age. Maybe 12 or 13 at the earliest, but definitely not 9. I can't help but wonder where they learned that. *That* part might be a media thing.
thank you for sharing this. it's interesting seeing into the mind, how processes work for different people. my friend wanted to die since she was a child - tried to commit suicide once, didnt think she'd live past 16. she's 27 now. me, never thought i'd live past 30. i was waiting to die for well over a decade. i'll be 34 on saturday. it's bizarre how the brain does these things.
I have never heard or experienced kids this young saying things like that...when I was little the bullying was making fun of clothes or breath...crazy world
My husband also asked for a utensil (a knife in his case) to kill himself as a young child. He was put on Prozac very young, which has messed with his ability to keep audio-visual memories
Deputy F. Gills This is my experience, and I'm sharing it to give perspective. I was diagnosed with early childhood major depressive disorder, which is, sadly, often overlooked. It shaped my entire childhood, from isolating myself, to lack of energy/interest, to violent outbursts [the last of which thankfully stopped at 10 years old]. I'm not trying to make this about me - I'm trying to make people realize that kids can have suicidal tendencies before 9 years old. It's not necessarily the media to blame. Never underestimate what a child can do, both good *and* bad.
When I was 4 I remember explaining to my dog that I could kill him if he barked and woke up my parents. I told him I could stab him in the throat so he wouldn't make any noise... Do not under estimate children. Yes, some are innocent little balls of gooyey sunshine, but plenty of us mature faster due to our own situations. I knew about suicide when I was his age (9). I also knew how sex actually worked. I had little interest in it, but I knew about intercourse. Adults live in denial/ignorance of all of the things that a child can comprehend or determine on their own. Humans didn't get to where they are today without problem solving skills. And if that problem is your own existence, you'll find a way of fix it with enough determination.
No matter what your beliefs are. No matter what you agree or disagree with. Pushing someone to commit such an act on themselves is evil. I am a religious man. I believe in God, and it is because of that reason that I love all people. Yes my religion condemns acts of homosexuality but it doesn't matter. Just because my religion says to not like their actions it doesn't mean to not like that person. Everyone is wonderfully and beautifully made by a God that loves them, and because of that we should treat eachother equally. Even if you're not religious. Don't view this from the Christian perspective, view it from the perspective of life. Our lives are precious. There is nothing in the universe more valuable than a life. We all have a limited time on this planet so instead of using it to spread hatred use it to spread love. There has been enough hate in this world. We all need to learn to start loving a little more.
Not a bullying issue. Poor parenting issue. How the hell did a 9 year old know how to kill himself? Parents need to step up and take some responsibility.
I was so miserable as a child. I grew up in an extremely religious community that told me being gay was a sin, that I needed to just try harder to be straight. So I did, I tried so hard. I dated a boy for 3 years, trying to make myself be straight and instead just making me miserable. I almost killed myself. The only reason I'm still alive is that I had a loving mother who was there for me and who loves me for who I am. My heart goes out to every child going through similar situations. You will find your community, your people, who love you for who you really are.
On point with kids getting crushes at 9. Also people who are like "well, how does a kid know about suicide?" I tried to commit suicide when I was in 6th grade. When you're in that state, your mind thinks of things. Stop thinking that these are "adult" subjects. Kids understand more than we give them credit for.
It's so upsetting that kids are treated as if they know less. I've known a fuck ton of things at just 11 years old, I sincerely hope more and more people, parents know this. Kids need to be talked to about what goes on in their minds.
Why are people questioning a 9 year old knowing their sexuality, when they really should be discussing Jamel's peers knowing how to be so homophobic at 9 years old.
BMXJerseyDirty “what are you gay” is a standard playground insult that ingrains it, but in all honesty homophobia has lost its meaning phobia is fear. Everyone uses it as hate now. So arachnophobia is hate of spiders apparently. Also it’s not people questioning a 9 year old knowing his sexuality. It’s people using logic to STATE THE FACT that 9 year olds brains aren’t developed enough to understand their sexuality.
It's not homophobia, it's a way to define groups. And if you're In a group, well that's the best group. The other groups aren't as good. In fact, they're bad. And that group has only one person in it. It must be horrible.
BMXJerseyDirty umm because they're kids. They also piss and shit themselves sooo they may not be the most tolerant bunch. Two yr olds are this bad as well. Kids naturally know how to lie, cheat, steal, and cause harm without being taught because it's human nature. It's called the Sin Nature of Man.
Hate is inherit. Kids are cruel, for they haven't developed high moral standards, but their hormones have already kicked in. There you go, answered. Now can we go back to discussing how his parents haven't, at all, prepared him for the discrimination he was bound to face?
I think it's appalling that people are more outraged about how a 9-year old knew about his sexuality rather than how a 9-year old knew how to kill himself
Violence is in most cartoons and can sometimes be the show's shtick. Use some critical thinking, a 9 year old can easily understand suicide and common ways of doing so (knives, bleach, drowning), it's not that difficult.
You are raises being taught what not to do in order to survive. Kids are not dumb. They know that if they do the dangerous things they were told not to do that they could die from it.
I attempted suicide at 7 years old . Landed me in a Houston psych ward for a few weeks with some of the wildest/dangerous kids in the city . That was back in 1999/2000
I taught 5th grade last year and a student of mine attempted suicide in class by slitting his wrist with a pair of scissors and screaming "I want to die!" It's a different world that we live in now -- trust me, kids KNOW this stuff, for better or for worse :(
Not that my generation was angels but we never had issues like this. I blame parents for forcing adult topics on children not capable or prepared to handle them.
Despair doesn't change. Despair has existed for as long as humans have. When despair reaches it's ultimatum, the outcome is always the same. This is not a generational change. The only difference is, now, we're hearing about it.
you went to one school of out millions *Mr. I'm the embassaror of my elementary school.* you realize it very likely one of ur class mates were being sexually or physically abused. no u dont, bc u don't know everything
Sheepdog So at your age you went to every school and talked to every kid your age to know that your generation didn't have those problems did you? Lol okay. Just because you didn't hear about it doesn't mean it didn't happen. My generation was exposed to the same stuff as his and no one in my area killed themselves because of bullying. Does that mean it didn't happen in other parts of the country? No.
I turned it into "Our school system has failed us." You know that if they were on top of things they would at least call or send a note home. The faculty of that school let this happen by not taking action of any kind. How hard is it to write "Hey I think your son is being picked on in class" and send it home with the kid? It isn't.
No ones turning into anything it was because of homophobia and bullying each year dozens of lgbt kids and teens commit suicide this is shedding light on the subject of bullying and homophobia as a whole no one ever wants to speak up on anything or go against it because they simply down play on twitter and Facebook there are thousands of people saying he shouldnt have been gay and that their happy which is sick and disgusting
@@seansullivan6176 not by the media standards. If a straight white Male killed himself after being bullied for being ugly or something you would never hear about it
Asking about kids with crushes? I had a crush on someone in, like, third grade. And asking 'how do kids know about suicide?' My step father killed himself when I was only 6, so yeah, plenty of kids know about that kinda thing. It's not like death doesn't exist for kids, they're not blind to these kinda things. Man, I can't imagine losing a kid, but I can easily imagine the shit he endured (having endured it myself, and having had these kinds of thoughts in the past). I wish no kids had to go through this shit.
Eh. People always run away from the truth. Basic human instinct. Kids know a lot more than they're given credit for, ultimately this proves fatal for a poor boy expressing himself the only way he knew how in an environment that has failed in every single way for generations. I don't believe in the whole "thoughts and prayers" crap but damn , no mother should have to lose their child to something so foolish and avoidable. I wish he would have kept it to his family and come out later to the public. Someone can always be ready to publicly disclose their sexuality , but the public can disagree just as easily. In regards to him being at the faultless age of 9 years old and coming to terms with who he is, I'd say he was brave as fuck. I would have been honored to be this little kiddos friend in school. May he rest easy and away from the parent crowd.
Firstly sorry to hear about your dad , secondly you are absolutely correct , in this current era social media , internet and the reality is so harsh on kids that they are forced to get mature before time , and this news happen to be side effect of the same.
Adults want to trivialize children for some reason and I don't understand it. Kids are smart. Like, way smarter than we often give them credit for. Kids know more than we'll ever realize because we've grown up and forgotten what was common knowledge to a kid.
Wait, how could your STEP father kill himself at the age of 6? Maybe its because I just woke up or maybe you mis typed but....6? Stepfathers are......what your mother remarries to,yes? So. Wait I'm confused. Sorry. No disrespect.
I was in fourth grade in Mexico when a friend of mine told me he liked me. Consider the fact that I was in a very “macho” oriented culture. The guy was a friend of mine, he enjoyed competing to be the strongest and he would play around with the guys as any normal kid. He would say which girl he thought was the prettiest and never gave off any quality that would be considered feminine. He asked me to be his boyfriend, he was 10 years old living in Mexico. The world and his own religion against him... I am sorry to say that my first reaction was to laugh. I thought he was joking or trying to see if I was gay so he could tell everyone and get me bullied. I noticed too late that he was serious. I saw his reaction and I felt like a jerk. I told him that I was into this other girl and that I really only liked girls. He went away shy. I never told anyone about that experience. Not because I thought of it as embarrassing (it actually boosted my ego that someone was into me) but because I knew not everyone would accept him. I didn’t care that he thought I was gay. I kept talking to him as always and the world found out he was gay the day he decided to come out. Kids do know. I knew I was straight since I was 4 and I saw women on television. I bet my friend knew as well around that age. I bet it took him a long time and courage to come up to a boy and tell him his feelings. This story is heart breaking. Just love
@@latioswarshowdown1202 dude are you serious? You missed his point completely. Hes not saying he feels guilty, hes saying that its fine to be gay and everbody should be more accepting of others differences essentially. Did you even read it??
+Showdown I think you misspelled, "I'm a giant douchenozzle." It's heartbreaking to see all of the people saying, "He's too young to know anyway." What that basically means is, if you're gay, or you think you might be, you can't treat your feelings about other people as legitimate until you're older. Your friends around you can talk about celebrities or classmates that they think are cute, and you have to wait a few years, because your feelings might not be real anyway. Fuck that. Fuck that exclusion.
Nicolas Montiel some kids do not know. Because you did maybe you have false memory four is kind of young for memory but even if that is true what about the boys who were molested at a young age and were influenced by others I honestly believe even if we are going in one direction we can be convinced to go in another especially with the influence of other people more especially when you are young. I don’t see anything wrong with being gay but when it’s promoted like this a mom dressing her son as a girl it’s sick and crazy to me. I’d call it a gay agenda if being gay is so normal to a child why is there’s this push for representation? Especially underage it’s meant to turn kids in that direction and I feel if you are pointed in a gay direction I find that very sinister.
Yeah good luck with that, kids are 100 times nastier than most adults. They always have been and always will be! I've seen it, heard about it, and was a victim of full physical abuse by kids my age in SECOND GRADE. And the abuser's parents blamed ME! I hope someday someone proves me wrong and that bullying stops. That poor little boy!
Same. I was always bullied in elementary ( physically and verbally ) and when the time came that I lost my patience and defended myself I was the only one to get in trouble.
I think it's not necessarily that kids are nastier than adults, it's just that they haven't learned not to say what they're thinking ALL THE TIME. We "adults" are probably equally nasty, we've just learned to hide it when it's not appropriate (many of us have, at least).
Bonnie A it's kinda two way like you says. Domestic abuses and rapes are well hidden but as adults if you hit someone or even hit back in defense you go to jail. No excuses. You get a black mark on your records while kids get it a lot easier.
Schools don't care about Bullying. They say they do for the sake of PR but when it comes to actually dealing with it schools will go no further than a yearly PSA to the students. Teachers typically turn a blind eye to bullying instead of punishing it. They'll hear name calling or see a kid being beat up and walk the other way. Maybe you are or know a teacher who cares, if so thank god some still do but overall North American schools only care just enough to keep the money coming in. If by chance there is a teacher reading this who knows of a school bully, learn about why her/him does it and if its because of the usual abuse or poor self image then try to fix it with therapy. If they just happen to be a bad person, punish them. Be as hard as you legally can on the kid. Sometimes tough love is exactly what someone needs to be set strait. Side note: I am Canadian but what I say applies to most North American schools. If your schools didn't have bullying or responded properly to it I hope you realize just how lucky you are.
V1DE0 I would challenge your statement by saying that helicopter parenting and constant government interference have created a situation where teachers have no control over classrooms. Should teachers actually see bullying happen, they are no longer in a position to discipline a bully or suspend them for a few days because parents will threaten to sue the school district or the teacher. Sometimes both. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s a shame. The kids know it too. They know that mom and dad will come to the rescue and they don’t have to answer for anything. That’s the biggest problem. Lack of responsibility.
I don't know where you live, but here in Texas they are far less tolerant now to bullying than they where when I was in school. They end it faster, and often there are zero tolerance policies that result in the bully being suspended.
In my experience in schools, yeah absolutely nothing is done about bullying. And if a child defends themself they will be punished harder than the bully 100% of the time. They always say just tell the teachers when ur bullied, but they wont do shit other than maybe give a talking to the bully, then the bully is just gonna beat up the victim even more for that. Schools are absolutely useless for dealing with bullying its actually very pathetic.
For me it's more like "Noon show", since I live in Poland, and the show comes out at 1PM, somewhere around that. But I love'em, because that means I don't have to wait untill Friday to watch Thursday's PDFS, which I usually watch around 6-7AM when I wake up the next day
I'm gay. Though I had no idea what sex was (I literally thought you can get pregnant by kissing someone), I started having crushes on the same sex at around 8 or 9. I had no idea what it meant, just that I liked them more than the opposite sex. I found out this meant I was gay when puberty hit. That's when the fear, anger, loneliness, and denial set in. When I desperately told myself it was a phase. That it would go away if I just suppress it and pray hard enough. It didn't. I didn't come out until I was in college. It went surprisingly very well. I didn't lose anyone of the people I really cared about. There were times when I came so very close to giving up in my teens though. The pressure of hearing people talk about you like you're inhuman, abnormal, rejected by God, or just somehow born to burn in hell gets to you. Especially when it comes from people with authority, like priests. I can only imagine what it must be like to be a kid and be told that to your face every day in school.
I don't know you personally but I respect you as a person and I hope the best for you. Life can be tough but humanity is constantly changing for the better and we learn from our mistakes and improve on them to become better to others and ourselves. Thank you for sharing your story.
He only lasted 4 days tho..... kinda jumped the gun there. There's more to this story that we don't know. There's always more to a story. Tragic none the less
I remember the first time I saw Mulan at a friend's house, getting so involved in a chase seen I said, run damn you run! And her mother hit the roof. Put the fear of God into me, stuck with me my whole life. For saying damn. My parents would have executed me if they found out I told another kid to kill himself, it's unfathomable.
I say damn all the damn time, cause I don't get why people assign arbitrary levels of naughtyness to certain words. You can say dang and darn but not damn? It means the same thing and one just happens to roll off the tongue better. Now tell me you can't insult someone more by calling them a flocking dingdong.
If someone called me a flocking dingdong, instead of a normal "curse word " (i use the F-work like a comma) I think it would sting me because they created a new word to call me LOL
I really don't think humans are intelligent or as compassionate as we are all taught to believe. Empathy should be taught the second you enter the world. Glad you're here to speak up about this DeFranco!
A child's brain needs to be developed enough to be able to understand empathy. At that young of an age you have no filter for yourself because that comes later in life. Edit: not that a child can't be taught what's right and wrong.
@@dolphinator9987 true, it all depends on the people around them. Raising them and teachinng them ideals. Sucks that a certain few kids were taught that being gay should mean you should just die. It's a shame. It makes me sad.
When I was 5 years old I tried to kill myself. I didn’t know what suicide was and I didn’t comprehend what I was doing, but I was so sad and felt like I just wanted to leave the situation that I was in. The MEDIA and the INTERNET had nothing to do with my feelings. At that age, I didn’t even know what the internet was!
I know what you mean. I never tried to kill myself but I was severely depressed when I was 4 years old. I would sleep away my days. My parents took me to different doctors for an entire year until they found one that finally diagnosed me correctly. I got help and recovered, went off my pills at 7. Was put in a special class the moment I started school so they could keep an eye on me all the way to grade 9. lol
Chicken Tamales when I was 8, i tried the same thing. I also cut parts of my lower torso. I didn’t know what self harm was. All I knew is that I wanted to be dead.
My son was nine when he sort of "fell" out of the closet, eleven years ago now. I found out while cleaning his room and finding notes he had written (but never gave) to a boy in his class. When I brought the notes up to him, he was more scared about how I would react when I found out than he was by other people finding out. I accept my son as he is, I always have and always will. Being gay is just one part of who he is. I was afraid that once kids found out at school that he would face bullying, but he has been fortunate that he has always had a group of friends who stick up for him when he is not strong enough to do it himself. He is out and proud and keeps it moving when someone has something nasty to say to him. Maybe one day society will become more tolerant of each other and heartbreaking situations like this beautiful boy found himself in will no longer happen.
Back in elementary school around 25 years ago there was a sweet kid named David. He wasn't in my class and only knew him from small conversations we had about cartoons. David had the misfortune of being in the special needs class and kids were beyond cruel to him based on that and his mannerisms. Long story short, his dad was a sheriff so he borrowed a gun and killed himself one afternoon. They gave him an engraved bench by his favorite tree at the school. The same kids and people who ignored his concerns and were quite horrible to him had the gall to show up for his impromptu memorial service at school. It made me sick enough and confused as a child I felt it was wrong to casually show up. Less than a week later nobody talked about it and that was the end of any conversation to be had about David at school. For the record, this happened in the SF Bay Area, which was chock full of atheist/agnostic progressives even then.
Wotornot Yeah man people can be such hypocritical and cruel assholes especially to people who have intellectual or behavioral differences. In my experience you also don't see as much outrage and things get swept under the rug and forgotten a lot more when they happen to individuals with those differences than other groups for as gung-ho as certain individuals are about fair treatment and anti-marginalization of vulnerable populations.
Dabilbo blakkins fair but this is San Francisco we’re talking about. While it’s still possible, in that area, as the writer implied, it’s much more likely that they’d be on the progressive end.
@@kreneks0173 I come from a conservative background, but labeling people liberal or conservative doesn't change anything because a bully is still a bully.
kids be learning this stuff from teens and adults on the internet everybody think trolling is fun until it affect someone you love in real life smh it's only going to get worse from here
So many kids these days have the same access to the internet as the rest of us. Parents put an iphone in their hands to shut them up. Where we just watched disney channel theyre watching logan paul laughing at a hanging corpse or spiderman and elsa porn. Kids have to grow up so freaking fast these days. Its not fair on them and their parents have to take responsability for what their children see.
@1 people kill themselves all the time all he'd need to see is a news story, hear a class mate talking about someone they know, or the Internet. It is sadly not hard to find out
There is one thing a lot of people seem to be forgetting: Kids are generally assholes. They equate anything that is strange or different with bad, and to an extent, that idea is reinforced by adults ("stranger danger"). If you are a kid and have a lisp, a limp, a wart on your face or even wear glasses, it is not strange that you will be singled out and/or excluded. This is not right or fair, but neither is it unexpected. Kids are by definition emotionally immature and still being socialized. Seriously, how many times as a parent or teacher have you had to have a conversation with a child that included the idea of "... would you like it if someone did that to you?". To an extent, empathy must be taught and nurtured. It is silly to expect an immature person to have and display a mature understanding and tolerance of differences. I believe this boils down to a fundamental missunderstanding about the nature of reality. Those that believe that people are inherently good, that children are accepting and that hate or distrust of that which is different must be learned will be on one side; Those that believe that people are at best neither good nor bad but mostly selfish, that kids are fearful and that fear of the unknown is innate on the other.
Adding to this, children's brains aren't fully developed. The connections to the frontal lobe, which is where the capacity understanding and empathy are located, aren't complete until a person hits their 20's. This doesn't mean children aren't capable of empathy, but they have a much harder time acting and thinking with empathy in mind. This is another part of why teaching empathy at a young age is important, so they are better able to use it as their brain develops, and why it's easy for children to bully others without consideration or guilt.
I agree with you to an extent. I don't think every kid is an asshole. Sure, they might have trouble understanding new things, but there are plenty of kids who treat people with kindness and respect. I have a friend who is from Turkey but moved to America at a young age, so when she was in kindergarten she had trouble making friends. She was excluded from groups, bullied, or just ignored. However, the first day of class someone noticed she was sitting by herself after a long day of feeling out of place, so she sat down next to my friend. To this day, they're inseparable. Her friend hadn't been bullied and could relate to her, she just wanted to be friends with this stranger. That's just one example, but the point is not all kids are insensitive jerks. Plenty of them like to make friends and be nice!
No. Kids understand right from wrong. All you have to do is point out why they are wrong or Vice versa. They might understand it on a basic level. Yeah they aren’t fully developed and all that shit, but they understand who is bad and who is good. We all have a natural tendency to understand basic levels of good/bad. They just don’t understand empathy and that is why they bully.
In the same vein as that. This is a parenting fail. You know your kid is going to come out to the world and you failed to watch like a hawk? The first time my daughter rode a scooter I couldn't take my eyes off her. So you allowed your nine year old to run head first into a 4th-grade class and tell the world about himself? With no follow-up, no warning...just a sure everyone will love you. WHY. I told my ten year old with special needs the world sucks and people are mean, if stuff goes down I want to know. Every time anyone tells him mean shit...bam daddy bear it is. And not just fight the fight...but support. Kid told him he was "Poor" because he did not have enough video games...bam daddy bear built him an arcade machine...take that neighbor hood troll. (This is parrent life...)
I've wanted to die since age 7. Not wanting to be the butt of jokes, physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse....these things are not limited to adults. These kids hurt. I hurt years later. Kids are people, just smaller. I understood my place in society at an early age. I can't even say that it gets better, you just get used to it. That's the really screwed up part.
@@okekarry Right, because emotional trauma is so in....It's called suicidal ideation. See your therapist for more details, or visit www.betterhelp dot com slash defranco.....
joseph Adeyemi You can't presume you know another person's demons and struggles. Given my own past, I see no reason to doubt her, and even if my scars didn't reach as far back as hers, it's still not your place to second guess her story. What reason would she have to exaggerate? This isn't /b/, not everyone on the internet has to lie or being a horrible monster to get attention.
He was just a child and it breaks my heart to know he suffered and felt less than because of some shitty kids. Kids can be so cruel and in my opinion parents need to step up and to teach their children to be kinder, more tolerant and excepting of other children. My niece is already being taught these things and she came home and proudly told us she had made a friend who was trans and that when people tried to pick on her friend she stood with her and fought back against the bullies. I pray that his family finds comfort and peace and so much love during this heartbreaking time.
It goes both ways. This mom should have taught her son that the world might not be as accepting to him as she is. "If I get nothing but love and praise from my mom for telling her that I'm gay what will happen when I do it at school?" Not what he expected I'm sure.
Lex Baldwin Exactly, the mother should have been aware of the outcome when sending her boy to school in girls clothes, the problem is 9 year olds can be cruel but the difference is that 9 year old or other little kids dont understand the consequence of their cruelty, they don't understand people kill themselves for said comments
Lisa *it's not about shitty kids, it's about shitty parents* who just fail hands down in their duty to protect their kid, killing oneself is not even naturally easy, 9 years isn't even high school, how mean are the words of 9 year olds for suicide to THE solution, and what came to this kid's mind to open his mouth and speak about his sexuality or mind openly? If he liked *eating gravel* , is he gonna go out and let the whole world know too and not expect to get feisty comments? *Jeez just madness*
Be your son's parent but also be his resource for help. Show he can go to you for anything without any backlash. Show that you'll always love him and will support him and will help him whenever he needs it.Joke answer: Keep him away from people. They suck.Real answer: The world sucks, we can only protect others so much but love and support them and show that you can be trusted with anything that concerns them.
Don't have fear in your heart we will never know what tomorrow brings. Don't let fear inhibit you shine your light as brightly as possible. Love to you, your family and Jamals family
I actually started crying watching this video. I mean, it breaks my heart that a NINE YEAR OLD CHILD felt as if the world would be better without him. When I was 15 I came out to my parents as bisexual and my mom was kind of confused but seemed to be accepting, however my father definitely was not. My father is Indian and he said that I was a disgrace to the culture and to the family. My father has always been supportive of me, he took time off of work in order to bring me to gymnastics competitions, he didn't get mad when I told him I didn't want to continue gymnastics after spending 12 years training and competing, he gave me a hug when I told him I want to be a teacher and not a doctor. He had never made me feel as if I was unloved or that he was disappointed in me ever, until that day. We stopped talking and I ended up moving in with my aunt (his sister) because I felt so ashamed of myself. My dad had always been one of my favorite people in the entire world and he shut me out. So, I got really suicidal and one day tried to kill myself. My aunt brought me to the hospital and I was in a coma for a couple of weeks. When I woke up my dad was sitting there next to me, crying and holding my hand. He said he was so sorry and was just scared, but what scared him more was a life without me or my siblings. I don't want this to be a sob story because it's not. My dad and I are closer than ever now, so it does get better. It's probably the most cliche thing to say but it does, I promise. I have lived it, I thought my life was over and that I couldn't stand the suffering anymore but I could, I did. Please if you need anything, reach out to someone, you can reach out to me if you want to. I'm here if anyone needs to talk.
I'm glad ur father came to u in the end. One of the worst things I'm is to lose family because u want to be more comfortable with your self and try to let others know it as well.
Your an idiot nowhere did it I say that he thought the world would be better without him not everyone commits suicide for that reason but your one of those people who just hears what they want to hear
seeing suicide in young children (if that is what happened here, sadly) is some of the most heart breaking news to me. it hits hard. Rest Peacefully Jamel. You are loved so much
my first crush on a girl was in preschool, and it was instantaneous. I knew boys and girls liked each other because of tv. I didn't know it till later, but my first crush on another boy was in kindergarten a year later. Even though I felt the same way towards him, I didn't realize what my feelings really were until I later learned that Oh, boys can like boys too. So it's not anything sexual, it's feelings, emotion, things we feel from early ages.
When I was younger, I did think you could choose to be gay or straight. Growing up in a Christian household that was something that I thought because I was making that choice. In elementary school there were girls I thought was cute as well as boys. I had to constantly tell myself “You can only think girls are cute”. Didn’t realize that wasn’t the case until high school when I talked about it to friends who didn’t think like that. Growing up bisexual in that environment with that mindset can mess you up. Luckily I had a good group of friends. I liked that you touched upon that in this video Phil.
I totally know that feeling. There's always the number one thing- "You've never thought like this before." "It's just a phase." I hate that. Drives me nuts.
I agree and I experienced a similar situation, I'm a gay man and I grew up in a very homophobic household and I had a crush on this boy that I repressed for years because in my mind at that time being gay was not okay and to this day my parents have no idea I've fallen in love with three separate guys and I can't share my experiences with my family (mom and dad is all I have) and we can't talk about it and have healthy conversations about my dating and my life because they would kick me out of the house. I can't be who I am at home and have to live basically a double life because I was told that being gay was wrong. It seriously fucks with your kids. Just be kind. How hard is it to just. Be. Kind?
Yeah I know that feeling. I am lucky they gave me this female middle name because, I have been cross-dressing since way younger than 6 (back home is a male and female name), I don't know, I felt it, but I also felt attracted to girls. You know what sucks the most? growing with secrets because your parents are homophobics and because your own dad swore to kill a son of his if he is gay and starting to feel hate because my mother beat the living hell out of me when she realized I was wearing her stuff I was just 15, I cut myself many times trying to "spill the gay blood" my dad even say he will stab a son of his until the gay blood is out. I did cut myself many times. Then growing up, learning I am bisexual, tell my family about the woman who broke my heart but not tell them about my boyfriend who taught me real love, and growing up hating my family mainly because I couldn't share with them when I was really happy for the first time and share now when I am happy for a second time with a wonderful woman who accepts all of me.
I learned about being gay when I was 4 when my Dad came out and moved in with his partner. I learned about suicide at 8 when my father killed himself. I learned I wasn't gay when I was 6 and had my first crush. Kids get crushes earlier than many folks like to think and, unsurprisingly, gay boys crush on other boys and there's a myriad number of ways a kid can learn about such mature subjects without being influenced by the media or by manipulative parents. So hows about we stop making assumptions and just give our condolences to a grieving mother and to said mother let me say my heart goes out to you as someone who suffered the heart wrenching tragedy of suicide and who was a first hand witness and, at times, victim to homophobic bullying. I hope the kids involved experience all the shame and regret due to them for this.
You must have been a smart kid lmao. I was a dumb kid, my uncle was gay my whole life, I always thought he was just really close friends with his husband.
You do realize that these are kids right? We do lots of things at a young age that we don't see the full effect of. These kids are influenced by people around them. There isn't as much maliciousness as you think. If you want to blame someone blame the role models these kids look up to.
These stories about 6 year old crushes leave me perplexed. When I was 14, I was seeing couples forming around me, and I was thinking "look at all those kids playing grown up, prentending to be in love because they watch the adults do the same". Admittedly, I was a weird kid, I was a grumpy old man before I ever became a teenager... But really, when I see someone under the age of 16 or so claiming they "love" someone, I can only think "No you don't. You don't even know what love is!"
No. The mom has herself to blame in part for not prepping her son to face cruelty. It's not only on the kids. I'd say it's mostly the bullies' parents and the dead kid's parent(s) who are culpable here.
6:15 As a Christian myself thank you Phil for defending those of us Christians who aren't filled with hate and intolerance in our hearts. There are many of us Christians who love and respect those of other sexualities just like Christ loved us. My heart aches for this poor child as, I was a victim of heavy bullying myself, and I am reminded how blessed I was to be strong enough to not let it overcome me. Jamel is with God now, where he will receive the love he so desperately needed. R.I.P. this charming, golden boy whose light was snuffed out by evil. May he find peace and happiness.
The church I used to frequent had a guest speaker Tony Dungy and I was somewhat excited to hear him speak. After 10 minutes of him bashing gays and saying they are less than and will end up in hell my wife and I left. It's disgusting.
I'm curious...you say you were "Strong enough" to not let it get the best of you. Are you saying this child was weak? Because I imagine the bullying for him was on a whole different scale. Not to take away from what you experienced, however to throw that in there...
uweenukr that man is not a Christian. He may use the title, but he is wearing the Christian clothing to push his own views on others. God says that homosexuality is wrong. But the ultimate goal is bring people to Jesus, not condemn through harsh words.
Actually one of the biggest pieces of garbage he's the made. He and many others will have egg on their face when it turns out the mom killed the kid. There are so many red flags it's ridiculous.
If my hypothetical child came out to me, we would need to have a conversation about bullying because it's unavoidable at that age. Wouldn't be a bad idea contact the school and let them know about it as well. What a world..
+C B I'd sign my kid up for Brazilian jiu jitsu so that he could knock some sense in the bully. And don't give me that bullshit about violence not being the answer; it's self defense.
A Christian can be against homosexuality, yet still support this poor boy’s family and speak out against the bullying that led to his death. What unites us as Christians is that we are ALL unworthy, ALL of us have things in our lives which keep us from getting to heaven on our own. It is God’s grace that saves us, and if a Christian is going to believe homosexuality is a sin, that should only strengthen the love, grace, and compassion they show to those who were born gay, to those who cannot help how they feel. Because none of us can help the way we feel. We are not saved by all the things we try to do to seem better than everyone else. We are saved by grace. My heart goes out to this child’s family, this poor mother will never get her son back because of the hatred thrown his way.
When I was in preschool, PRESCHOOL, I remember so vividly asking my teacher, what if boys married boys and girls married girls. Nobody had told me anything about homosexuality or anything like that, I was just a curious 3-4 year old that was just wondering about something that I had no idea actually happened. It doesn't matter what age you are, you're entitled to fall in love or have a crush or whatever with WHOMEVER YOU PLEASE! Age should have nothing to do with the fact that Jamel was gay. He should have been accepted regardless but he wasn't, and that's really sad that he couldn't. I know there's a place in heaven for him though. Praying for the family and friends that supported his decision that they'll get through this difficult time ❤️
Danielle Hardy I’m confused by this. It DOES matter what age you are. Like...a lot. It’s literally not biologically possible to understand the ramifications of being gay or straight. Be it mental development (which in a 9 yo child is much lower than you would expect, like an elephant has the same), emotional development...because they are 9, and physical development of hormones. All these together would constitute a personal understanding of sexuality. I mean when transgenders from a young age change their minds on a 65%-80% basis (many studies listed here www.transgendertrend.com/children-change-minds/ You can vouch for the legitimacy of this site yourself hell if I know but I’ve seen the studies on other sights) this points backs up my relative common sense argument. Basically, I know kids are magical, but they are also dumb as shit and shouldn’t be making life altering decisions until they are fully developed. I am heartbroken for this family, but the issue itself is relatively straightforward to me as psychological analysis can go.
The big problem with the world today is that bullying is only in the news when something like this happens it only happens when someone dies/kills themselves and then it’s shuffled under the rug as soon as it can until the next event happens, we need to keep the topic of bullying at the forefront all the time
SimpleCrisis That could fetishize it which could possibly lead to even more bullying. Because kids think shits cool on tv and some occasions it doesn’t matter what it is.
Put some cameras in the schools, monitor the students. Problem is, you can't put a camera in the bathroom. That's where the bullying took place, it was easy to get cornered in there.
Can you imagine how the backlash is impacting the mother? People are blaming her for letting her son on the internet, for letting media "shove homosexuality down his throat." Regardless of how or why he learned he was gay, he was proud of himself. This little boy had so much confidence and was ready to be loved. HE WAS NINE. Don't you dare make this about anything but what it was. Bullying. It was about bullying.
If anything all this says to me is that it should be talked about in schools at an early age. Better that the kids find out about it from an accurate source than from the internet.
Bullying is bad. But a parent setting their child up to be bullied is also bad. She could just as easily sat down with him and explained how real life works. Let him be free to dress how he wants at home and do his fingernails and whatnot. But going to school, it would be better if he just wore pants and shirts. Not to hide how he feels, but just to make his life easier until his classmates are mature enough to handle people being different. It could have been a phase he would have grown out of - doing it this way, would mean that he wouldn't face ridicule in the future for dressing like a girl in 4th grade. Or it would be something he'd grow more into being and in a few years, would be able to handle any bullying situations that came at him.
In my opinion, you have to be a realist not an idealist. Ideally the kid can go to school and be themselves and face no adversity. But in reality the kid will face adversity for being different. parents need to be realistic with their kids and forewarn them that their differences may result in other kids looking/treating them differently. And give them advice how to handle these situations. That is the only realistic solution at present, because you wont change every kid and every parent influencing every kid so, it may suck and not be ideal but ya. People have been telling kids not to be bullies since school existed i imagine, its not an effective strategy
This abdicates others of their responsibilities though - yes be practical, yes know how to defend yourself, but you are entitled to expect other adults (parents of the bullies, the teachers, etc) to enforce that we act with basic human dignity including not doing shit like this. I had the living crap kicked out of me at school because of being from another country, I learned to hold my own against kids two or three years ahead of me in school, but that doesn't make it better. Pretending that you just have to assume everyone is an asshole without addressing the fact that they shouldn't be assholes is not a way forward.
parents are entitled to expect other adults will enforce that but that is a naive way to look at things, since adults aren't around every minute of the day. You got the living crap kicked out of you at school, was that in front of adults? Doubt it. It is a realistic way forward not an idealistic way forward, and I never said everyone, we are talking about a small portion of all people who are assholes. But it only takes one asshole to shit on everything
Basically you are saying that if the kid was "tougher" he would be alive, and that is something you DONT know. Its the same argument as "hurr durr just learn to defend yourself from bullies" thinking every girl or boy is the same. Some kids are more sensible, more kids are introverted and Will clam up when so many people are bullyng him. This mindset is what needs to change, because there are SO many societies almost free from this kind of homophobic shit and bullyng, repeating over and over again that "life is like this, you all should adapt" is BULLSHIT and its nothing more than naturalizing violence.
I think the same, it's delusional to think that you will be accepted immediately when you deviate too much from the norm. Maybe you can introduce some little changes, but it has to be gradual and controlled process. And not with kids, only mature adults.
If someone knows their orientation at a young age, does it really make sense to expect them to pretend otherwise for whatever number of years need to pass for others to have a better shot at accepting it?
@@TheEmanExperience "Focus on the Drug War, Not Immigration reform" Yeah... no. I won't listen to whatever shit you manage to spout. The War on Drugs is an utter failure that needs to be stopped for tax payers sake.
@@LatinaCreamQueen as a tax payer then id also like to stop government spending money on people who do illicit drugs. If they OD let em die where they are and rot.
I almost NEVER comment on videos but I have to say this. The last few minutes of that video every single word PD spoke was absolutely 110% spot on! Thank you!!!! It had to be said!!
My wife and I are expecting our first child, a boy, this November and I am terrified about things like this. I don't want my boy harassed and bullied for who he loves, how he dresses, what he believes...the saddest part is, this isn't even a shocking story. What kind of world do we live in where children tell each other to kill themselves?!
My advice is to teach your kid to love others and himself, but also teach them to be strong, mentally and physically. Bullying happens and will always happen, so the only real solution is to provide the tools to deal with it. People stopped bullying me when i was young when i started swinging back.
It’s because children are being exposed to adult issues much younger in life now, thanks to social media. Social media will be the downfall of society. Try your best to teach your child to be themselves, respect others for being themselves, and try to teach them to let things roll.
I'm thing about having kids and I worry about this too! But I think Jasper is correct, teach your children love and compassion. Teach them to talk to you (and others) about feelings, its okay to have them but express them openly. And we as parents need to listen and love.
I didn’t hear about this story until I watched this video. My heart is broken for this family. This needs to change, bullying needs to stop ASAP it kills and damages people and families.
Welcome to the disgusting nature of the human condition. Bullying nature will always happen, unfortunately, and if you want to blame anything, blame religion for propping up legitimizing hatred of homosexuality throughout history. Also children can be absolute monsters to each other. I was bullied constantly when I was in school to the point I became a misanthropist and laugh at the misery of modern society. If you want to save the human species, abolish religion, focus on environmental programs, re-educate people etc. But that's just me being somewhat hopeful that humanity might gets its shit together, which it never does.
What happens when ww3 breaks out and we have to give our kids guns and tell them to go kill people. There are evil people in this world. If they cant handle words, how are they going to handle real violence
As 8 years old I remember expressing suicidal thoughts. I didn't express as wanting death itself but wanting to cease to exist. Kids can figure this shit out. They're not stupid, just naive.
Resilience should be taught along side anti bullying campaigns. It goes hand in hand. You will never stop the evil in the world so while we combat it we must teach people how to deal with the evil they may face.
I agree. If you break at every little thing, you'll never get anywhere in life. So whilst we fight towards trying our best to reduce bullying, we should also teach kids how to stay strong and hold their head high.
How is that saying we should resist gays? That is a stretch and a half. But i suppose you might not be the brightest tool in the shed so maybe you didn't get it. You're*, Tolerance*.
I might not be gay but I remember that around the 4th grade I too got bullied a lot, mostly because I had to switch schools and was an outsider but still, I feel like bullying is quite severe in that period of most peoples lives, some of my friends had a rough time during those early days as well, people just need to teach their kids how to behave.
I can't even imagine how or why american society has gotten to the point where so many have a story about being bullied or targetted at their schools. I live in South Africa, and am in what Americans would call their "Senior year" and I've never been bullied. We're a lot more accepting of diversity and inclusivity than the American schools are. 25 of the 30 of us in our class came through together from 1st grade and made it through to 12th. We have this odd feeling of almost being like a family. Many of the other classes and grades in my town share that with their own class. Always having been shown America as this great superpower where they're doing so much right in contrast with our country; and seeing the reality in stories like these is really eye opening. I'm really disappointed when seeing stories like this. We're capable of so much better 😟 😢
Bullying is almost always going to exist, fighting it something we should do and is a honourable cause but we really should teach kids how to deal with things when they are bullied. It's such a common phenomenon it's like trying to get kids at school to wash their hands before lunch. The world would be great if bullying was only in the history books but don't let the kids of today be unprepared for the act of bullying. Same goes for internet abuse, if you participate, you should be prepared to deal with rude people you're going to come across.
Ryan Tsui Bullying can be eradicated, but it takes a lot of resources (money and educating teachers) and in general a lot of effort from school staff and the parents to educate kids of the negatives of bullying and to prevent bullying from happening. As a society, our greatest strength is surpassing our animalistic past and instincts and rising above our negative nature while still succeeding as a species. As someone who has been bullied, and someone who studied evolution and likes to look at modern society in the eyes of evolutionary psychology, i am baffled and i just fail to understand what are the positives of sexually inactive KIDS BULLYING OTHER KIDS in the eyes of evolution and how does that help the survival of our species. Or is bullying a more modern social construct? And if it is, then it could be even easier to eradicate it, due to it not being a part of our animalistic instincts. i mentioned "sexually inactive kids", because i understand showing physical and socioeconomic power in finding a potential partner in teenage years/adulthood, but kids should not resort to showing dominance and physical/socioeconomic power towards other kids unless there is something majorly wrong in their uprising. Also i would like to add an another note, you mentioned how kids should be thought to deal with bullying, and while i agree, that kids should be exposed to some negativity in their childhood so they can learn how to deal with negativity in their adulthood. YOU FAIL TO REALISE that most bullied kids become ADULTS WITH WASTLY UNDERDEVELOPED SOCIAL INTERACTIONS due to them being social outcasts (that can't train their social interaction skills with other kids), and also learning to avoid social interactions with other kids/adults as a fear of engaging in another negative interaction (because being bullied is more than enough of a negative social interaction by itself). In the end you are left with BROKEN ADULTS (me, at the age of 23 and still no gf, cus fuck any and all negative interactions, i have had enough for 10 lifetimes! T_T), or SCHOOL SHOOTINGS (because you can't expect empathy or someone valuing life when all they know is suffering and see no way out from the HELL ON EARTH that is being bullied AF in school)!
I can relate to this kid so well I knew I was gay when I was in the 5th grade and people bullied me, my parents added to my self hatred literally all that keep me going was support online, please idc what you think of people who are gay please STOP BULLYING
@@IamMsUnique this guy is a bot spamming this same response to many comments. Don't try to interact with it, and certainly don't agree with it, that's a propaganda machine right there.
FridaFan dude your Just another copy cat can you bring your own argument to the table? Your just regurgitating what other people are saying without adding to it.
Phil - I was uncertain at first, but I'm really enjoying the morning shows. I work overnights and listen to your regular show on the way to work at night and when leaving I have been listening to your morning show as well. Essentially you bookend my work day. Keep up the great work!!
Hi, yeah, as someone who was harassed and bullied before I even came out, this shit is disgusting. I was in middle/high school when I would recieve those dirty looks and homophobic jokes from my classmates, and thankfully I had the mental strength to just shrug it off. But, kids as young as 9 telling others to kill themselves is not unheard of. When I was hit by the car at the age of 7, I came back to hear that many students in my grade and above had actually wished that I had died in the accident. Age has no control over what kids know. This story is heartbreaking and I wish I could say there's going to be justice for this young boy, but knowing a public school system, this incident is going to be swept under a rug and forgotten. It's tragic, but it's the way we live.
im so sorry to hear how horrible people treated you. people who hate on others are just sad and pathetic and want attention and im glad you were strong enough to know they're not worth your time
MaxVlogsHere how do people get to hate on everything else, from loot boxes in video games to white men because of history.. yet we can’t be mean to one another? Fuck this.. I blame his parents. Got. 9 and 8 yr old, we talked about this shit. How words can’t harm us and we are in control of ONLY our actions. Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words can not harm you.. unless it’s a 9yr old? Fuck that..
MaxVlogsHere bullies always exist. People who’ve been traumatized all the time makes the kid want to spill out hateful energy. No matter what people will do it.
Parent's words can only help so much. I don't mean to start anything negative here, but everyone react to words differently. To some, much like your kids, they can take your words more highly than peers, while some kids, like myself and this child here, the peers words can overpower and cut deeper than what parents can say. If that makes sense
William Charles Schneider maybe it’s not that, statistically gay people do this more often. Maybe this is ANOTHER reason to hope your children aren’t gay.. This whole story seems shity. Parent is not taking responsibility for her inaction in preparing her son for this lifestyle. Not the “gay” lifestyle but the “anything not popular” is bad lifestyle. On the real, every parent who doesn’t talk to your kid about this shit, shouldn’t cry when it happens. Parents are setting children up to fail and blaming society.
school is a horrible place, full of vicious bastards that will do nothing but attempt to drag you into depression for their own amusement. When my grandma told me that school was going to be the best years of my life I actually contemplated ending it all right there because if life got worse after what I went through it wasn't worth living. I'm both bisexual and mildly autistic, the diagnosis for the latter coming in about the same time as I came out and when this diagnosis was handed to my catholic school teachers they told my entire year group and then turned their backs when I turned up to classes bruised and bleeding, even downgrading me because my appearance wasn't satisfactory for class or downgrading me on my attendance if I went to the nurse's office to get it sorted out first. bullying never stops and it gets worse with every generation, especially with the invention of social media. I can feel for this child, and for his mother, I know their pain and I just wish I could say it's going to get better, but I've lost hope in that.
You didnt accept yourself so they bullied you at the same time you talking like a girly girl (a cultural thing so you cant use the genetic bs excuse thats the way i am which just isnt true) isn't funny and its weird so its not strange that they bullied you.
Latioswar showdown I actually can't figure out what the hell you are even trying to say. I'm assuming you're an attempted troll in which case cool... not taking the bait though.
Not overly proud of this; but during my school days I’d physically fight people that were seen as bullies mostly cause I was picked on a lot. I really don’t like bullies. I went to 21 different schools in three countries; there were always kids bullying or making fun of someone that was even remotely different. Not saying that it’s right, just an observation that we all pick out someone who is different and treat them differently (whether or not we consciously do it). Once watched a documentary on chimpanzees, where a group killed another due to a physical difference (example in that it’s not just a human behaviour). Kids can be brutally honest in their observations; and they can be very mean (yet sunshine and roses when adults/people with authority are around). In an office setting of grown adults, they have pecking orders or classrooms at universities with peers. So if adults can’t stop picking on each other, how the hell are we going to stop kids doing this?
*HellRay* because they lack empathy and don’t understand how they’re words and actions impact others. When you know those things and choose to ignore them that’s when you’re fucked up
you make a very valid point, im sure everyone has been on both sides of the bullying fence at one time or another... but that doesnt mean we should just shrug our shoulders and give up. if bullying is driving someone to suicide then its going too far.
People grow up at different rates, just because at that age YOU personally didn’t understand sexuality doesn’t mean everyone else had the same experience. That kid should not have been told to kill himself by anyone, he was just a normal kid from what I know of the situation.
So 9 year olds can decide if they are gay/bi or whatever but if a pedophile says that the kid agreed to it its impossible? Like dont get me wrong i dont want to support pedos but this argument seems flawed to me. If they can decide the one thing why cant they decide the other?
Tecsy A can understand that they’re attracted to a certain sex, and they do so at different rates. That does not mean they have the capability to consent to a sexual act with an adult. That leap in logic doesn’t make sense
The administrators and teachers talk about treating everybody with respect and love but where were they when this bullying was going on why didn't they do anything to stop it it seems like they only get involved after the fact
Kermit night The worst of this kind of thing happens in places where teachers aren’t. Playgrounds, restrooms, etc. Nobody really knows what happened except the bullies, the victim, and apathetic bystanders.
If the kid didn't even tell his mom do u think he told the teachers lol no , the teachers where as oblivious as the mom, Elementary teachers are a joke tho , they do suck ass.
Kermit night teachers are often in charge of 30 students over 6-8 class periods. Not to mention it sounds like this happened on the first day of school. So they hardly know the kid much less how they interact with others. So I personally don't think it's right to demonize the teachers.
It's almost impossible to supervise that many kids with so few staff, though. They can just about prevent fights and strangers wandering onto school property in most cases, but listening in on every whispered sentence? You're asking the impossible.
I'm sorry, but I know the bullies are kids but please. Someone, give them reprecussions for their actions. Anything. No video games, no lunch money, even the smallest bit so these kids learn that BULLYING IS WRONG! I don't want them to just be told everything's going to be okay, it's not. Please, the parents, teachers, faculties. Tell these kids that bullying is wrong, and that there are consequences for their actions.
I agree. They grew up thinking that this type of thing is ok and they can get away with it. Schools and staff maybe even police need to talk to them and take action because they will not learn
If that were my child I’d tell them what their bullying contributed to. Fully explain how their words lead to a child taking his own life, that he will never grow up, have a job, see the world, meet someone he loves, have a family, celebrate another birthday or xmas etc in part because of what my kid did. They’d damn well know the gravity of what they did. They wouldn’t be doing it again that’s for sure!
I like that Phil said hes going to address this to his kids, as young as they are, because that's real important. When little kids see someone different from them that they havent seen before, they're curious, and they point out "why are they different?", and we have to explain it to them. They dont do it because humans are born as bigots, science shows human being are born cautious instinctually. Instinct says that different is dangerous or suspicious, that's why we need to make sure we change our culture to TEACH children that everyone is the same. Instinc is in our dna but CULTURE is learned. And the culture of the past has been that someone who's different is strange, with a highlight on the fact that they're not like us. We explain that they're from a different place, but what if instead we just said "they look different on the outside, but they're the same inside". Separation from self is what minimizes empathy, and that's a big issue with the way people treat others. Sorry for the rant, but yeah
merile i would like to see where you took the information that prejudice and verbal violence are instinctive and not cultural. Many south american tribes did not start confrontations with the europeans on the colonization era and it doesnt seem fair to point out victims of a society as colateral damage of the human nature. I could also argue that its really hard to discern instinct and culture since we analize it from within a culture. Kids learn to speak properly, to playtruments, other languages, math, to respect their parents. They can and should learn that maybe their """""instinct""""" isnt to be "trusted" as an acceptable form of action or else they will poop on their pants until they are 18
Explaining things to kids is so important, especially out in the world. If, for example, a kid points to a trans woman who isn't fully passing yet and asks their parents something along the lines of, "why is that boy in a dress?" and the parents just hush them & act embarrassed/ flustered (as is instinctual when your kid says something normally considered rude), they inadvertently teach their kid people who are different from the majority are wrong or taboo. If they calmly explain, "Well, she isn't actually a boy, she was born looking like a boy but on the inside she's a girl" and move on, it shows kids we can see people who are different and just accept it while teaching them a quick little thing about the world.
How much would you say the mom did to mitigate his uniqueness. I'd say she increased it. You are a fool if you expect society to change to your will; to not treat your child with cruelty for being different.
@@Rafael-fm3rf oh no, that's not what I'm saying at all. I mentioned that our culture has been to point out the differences in others which creates prejudice. My point is that instinct says "they're different" culture tells you what to do with that realization. Most cultures are very ethnocentric, which harbors prejudice. We need to start fostering a culture of acceptance
Times have changed and I personally believe that children these days are more conscious about stuffs like sexuality, general politics and actually are more exposed to the world via internet. But why does the overall mentality of children remain unchanged? I mean the parents and teachers could do so much better at teaching children about acceptance and love. This story absolutely breaks my heart.
drawkcab Because bullied will bully anyone and anything who deviates from the norm. Had he not been gay but overweight, skinny, had bad teeth, a follower of religion A in a school that mostly has students with religion B, anything else, he would've gotten the same treatment.
Do you remember the first youtubers who were scared to come out?It always had to be an official annoucement 20+ minute video, because saying you were gay less than a decade ago was a HUGE deal. Still is, but newer youtubers can just now say hi I'm gay and that's that. No one bats an eye. Little kids now growing up didn't see those gay youtubers who were scared and hiding their sexuality. All they see are the ones now confident and I think that helps a lot of kids spit it out a lot sooner. Most of my gay friends said they realised it in elementary school or sooner, but they said they didn't feel safe revealing it yet. Too bad some parents are bad parents and raise shit kids
Mostly because there's a lot of bad parents out there who harbor very ingrained thoughts that they attempt to force upon their children, to have them think their ways. And when the child rejects it, the parent gets upset. And that's not even counting the amount of physical abused children who take out their frustrations with home life on someone at school. As the saying goes that I don't, entirely believe but it's still very true in many cases: The one who bully are often times really damaged themselves, and it's a way for them to make them feel better by taking out their frustrations on their target.
Kids don't really have the capacity to understand empathy so they say whatever because they have no filter. So anything they see as different they tend to mock and ridicule.
When I was growing up the teachers in my school could not give a shit about bullying. Kids bullying isn't just the problem, also teachers that don't in force anti bullying.
no one will read this You're absolutely right. It's wholeheartedly the teachers fault. I mean why are they not enforcing the anti-bullying policy? It's like who do they think they are? Its their fault we have school shootings too. In most cases all they do is buy class supplies, don't spend time with their own family because they're constantly at school or school functions, get bullied by those same kids both bullies and victims, buys students food or clothes, have their personal and professional property destroyed, AND try to actually teach hundreds of students year after year. How dare they also not take on the role of being the parent and making sure every child is held accountable and punished. Maybe every teacher is not an A+ teacher who goes above and beyond and some probably shouldn't be in the system at all but is not their job to be professional and parent even though we try to be both. It's time the parents started caring a little more about what goes on during school and doing a little more discipline at home before it happens at school. Should the school respond better to claims of *insert typical shitty behavior of students* yes. But hell the school can't even say "Hey can you not wear that *insert revealing clothing" to school. It's not appropriate." without being crucified so why should they stick their necks out disciplining someone's precious little angel who could do no wrong and it must be the teacher who is out to get him. Whole point is you can't place the blame on teachers who are worked thin and close to suicide as well because of those turd kids.
So true I can say the experience was the same at my school. Some "decent kids" can become a bully when they are around their classmates out of fear of being the odd man out or becoming the subject of the bullying. Kids want to be accepted the teachers need to make sure that the bully's are the odd man out. Its not funny to belittle anyone you never know what proverbial straw can break the camels back.
i still remember the "Bully free zone" bull crap posted on all the walls of my school. The part that made me scoff, that it implied that there WERE bully zone. Guess what: That was exactly what happened. I pity the kids now that social media is a thing, makes it too difficult to tell whats a joke or what is real. A part of me says "this is our new norm" but another wants to say "fuck that" I don't really know anymore
Exactly! My teachers helped the damned bullies. I had to fight my own fights. I dealt with the consequences but they were no where near what they are now. It's horrid that the teachers don't help or even ADD TO the bullying. My teacher in the 3rd grade cut my left hand so I couldn't write with it. She didn't like Left paws. She made sure I was not a left handed person when she was done with me. Can you IMAGINE what would happen today if she did that to someone?! We need to get RID of these fucking teachers who don't "see" bullying as a big deal.
Funny story, in kindergarten, I had 2 teacher/supervisors who actually bullied me more than any of the students. There was also this girl there who got bullied by them. She was usually the only one that I hung out with. What's sad is for some reason, i didn't end up telling my mom until almost 10 years later
This is why I so love and enjoy watching your shows, you use your mind and your heart to tell the stories of the world as it should be told. Thank you very much. You help me keep going. Blessed Be! with Love and hugz
I think he previously had a similar opinion to mine that he thought it was a bad idea to come out before college because kids can be assholes. It seems he's changed that opinion and would just throw his kid to the wolves if they ended up being anything other than straight. He can still love his kid while thinking smart about how he and his kid handles it. He is a good father and man, though. I just hope he didn't change that opinion too much.
I find it both baffling and disturbing that people seem to think that only straight children's declarations of self are valid. Why can a kid know from a young age that they are straight, but the moment a child says they aren't they're shut down and told that they're misunderstanding their own feelings or that they're confused? That's bullshit. Children know. I knew from the age of 5 or 6 that I was bi because I always had crushes on both boys and girls the same way that my cousin knew she was gay from the same age and my best friend knew he was straight. Like, it's not complicated and it's not uncommon. It breaks my heart that people are blaming inclusive programming and inclusive culture for what happened due to the cruelty of OTHER CHILDREN. It's just an easy way to derail the conversation when it makes people too uncomfortable to admit that kids can be beyond cruel. Situations like this aren't even uncommon and you still have people denying it. Okay, rant over. It just makes me so sad that this happened.
So 9 year olds can decide if they are gay/bi or whatever but if a pedophile says that the kid agreed to it its impossible? Like dont get me wrong i dont want to support pedos but this argument seems flawed to me. If they can decide the one thing why cant they decide the other?
@FridaFan that's an odd way to respond to that. You're telling me that you're a loser who has nothing to do but spam comments with a copy/paste response. Are you capable of original thought over extended periods of time or do they arrive once every full moon?
I appreciate you and your videos dude! The world needs more understanding and compassion and coming to your channel gives me hope for humanity. Keep doing what you're doing and spreading positivity! 🖤🖤
In the US, we have a culture where we don't care about stopping bullying. I've seen it so often. People will pass it off as, "It's just kids being kids." Think about this: You're a teacher and see a kid being bullied. If the kid punches the bully, who do you punish? From what I've seen, it's always the kid punching the bully who gets 100% of the trouble. That's not how it should be. We don't let kids fight back against bullying, but we preach that they should stand up for themselves. When a kid shoots up a school, we act surprised and just don't know what to do! Simple solution: STOP BULLYING.
Words are just words. They only have the power that the listener give them. Physically hitting someone causes actual damage that you cannot imagine away. There is a difference and that's the reason the first one to throw a punch gets punished.
mark k "Words are just words" Oh come on, man. You know you're being intellectually dishonest. Harassment and bullying has a real effect on people. It's not easy for people to just ignore that kind of stuff. Stop being dumb.
HatedAlways the problem is, that isn’t a simple solution. There is no way to truly eliminate bullying. It’s just a fact of life. As sad as it is, it’s the truth
I knew I was gay when I was 7. It happens. I didn't use the internet, I just knew I liked girls, even though I didn't know the word for it. It happens. How he knew he was gay wasn't important.
Helen Ashbrook I agree homosexuality is natural. The idea that all males and females should be paired 1:1 ratio is wrong. It's behavioral sink in response to overpopulation. Besides, not everyone needs to breed. I also, personally, don't care what consenting *adults* do in the bedroom. Not my business, don't care. However, this kid was dressing up like a girl. Wore fake nails to school? At 9?? The mother caused his bullying and the lack of a father shows. This is the problem, not that the kid was gay. Of course, this is hard to comes to term with, so people will spin it as gaybashing.
Yes. It's entirely his fault for daring to dress outside of social norms. The children who bullied him were entirely in the right to do so. How dare his mother allow her child to dress the way he wants to. I'm quite glad we have you here to clear that up for us. The lesson to learn here is that you should never stand out at all, and be completely what society expects you to be, not that we need to address bullying in schools. /sarcasm
You know...reading some reactions here. I am just done with the internet for today. People questions why he has these feelings or how he would to end his own life. You know kids have feelings too, they are not just little humans you upgrade at a certain age with the possibility to have feelings. And other kids can be incredibly vicious. And yeah it can be incredibly taxing for a kid that age. I speak out of my own experience. It still scars me till this day. People just...a kid of 9 years old is dead, I just can't even...not today
Honestly, youtube comments especially those on this show are usually filled with hate and blame. I have to remind myself to avoid reading what people post when it's a sensitive situation like this, because I begin to lose faith in humanity. Just remember that the people commenting usually do so because they have extremely strong opinions that they feel they have to get out there. Most people just like and don't leave a comment. It's often the extremists that feel the need to rant.
@@sarahcb3142 it's sad to me that ppl ever think they'll have faith in humanity. There is no such thing and until individuals start to realize that, there will always be a sadness within them.
If you want to prevent another 9 year old for comitting suicide for the same reason, then you need to pay attention to the comment section because that's where you'll find what's wrong with the world and what needs to change.
I don't know how many young teens watch Phil, but know that it WILL get better the older you are. When you're older you can go to meetups and join clubs where everyone is like you in one way or another, and you will be accepted. Sure, there are rotten people in the gay community as well, but you can find your own little gay family of lgbt friends and suddenly, no matter how hostile the rest of the world might be, it doesn't matter as much because you can feel that you are appreciated and loved just the way you are. It was hard for me in school, because when you're younger, you're stuffed into a classroom with a random selection of people and that feels like your whole world. But it's not. Your lgbtq family is already out there, struggling just like you, you just need to find each other. We love you just the way you are.
Or you get older and those people now have access to guns. Or cars to drag you with. Sorry it's just even as a gay person that whole "it gets better" thing is absolute dogshit.
@@rosenrot234 i think it means "it get better" for you. You will learn to ignore the bullies, or find ways of coping with them. You will find other lgbt+ members and you won't feel alone, yes the guns amd the car draging exist but in the western world that's a rarity. And it not like people celebrate when that happens. "It gets better" because the more comfortable you are and the more you learn about yourself the less impact the bullies should have. Its not gonna go away but you will become stronger for it. That's just my opinion.
@@rosenrot234 any of us can die at any moment. It's up to you if you decide to concentrate on the negative stuff. We can't fully prevent the violence, so why not do everything you can to prevent it and move on. I'd rather focus on the things I can affect; actively seeking healthy social circles and putting myself in situations where I feel good and safe. I did not say "it gets better no matter what you do". What I mean is that when you get older, *you can make it better for yourself.*
@@lunateec8060 I would suggest you talk to someone professional about your problems as it could help. Also something that helped to motivate me was the idea of proving them wrong. When I was at school I was overweight, outcast, liked games, anime and was smart. Pretty much the perfect target for bullies. Now I'm losing weight and I am getting ready for university doing something I love (game design) and now when I occasionally go to McDonald's with my friends I see some of them working there as they barley even had the results to get into college. I look back on it now that yes they may have made my life hell but now they are going to be stuck in dead end jobs for the rest of their life doing something they hate.
School is literally the main place where a child can get bullied. So why aren't parents both preparing their kids to not be bullies and also prepare their kids for the inevitable bullying they will probably receive. Parent's seem super ignorant to thinking school is some safe place. I think the principle of Jamel's school needs to walk into his homeroom class and tell them flat out that his loss is in fact their fault for their bullying and that they have to live with this for the rest of their lives
I'm all for holding people accountable, but blaming the children leads no where. The principle will get fired for what she said, most of the children had nothing to do with it and the ones who bullied wouldn't care. The parents of these children are responsible.
Parents and schools also need to punish the bullies. Every day those little shits get off scot free because of how lax our school system is on bullies, and it is extremely lax. Parents should prepare their kids for bullies, yes, because the world is always going to have hate. But they also need to jerk their little brats up when they bully other kids and make them see that there will be repercussions for their actions. And maybe it's cruel but I absolutely agree with you that those kids need to be told what they've done. They want to tell people to kill themselves, they should see the consequences. I don't give a fuck that they're 9, Jamel was 9 too. And he's dead. And those kids need to realize that it's their fault and they should have to live with that.
MIke Allen, it is entirely possible that the story the mother is throwing at us, is a LIE. It is possible it is true but having been around people like her (yes I can see exactly what kind of person she is) I know they push their opinion and care for NO ONE but themselves, they don't care for their children, they don't care for family, friends, parents ANYTHING.
A lot of times the kids who are cruel at school have cruel parents, or even parents who encourage that type of behavior in some misguided belief that toxic masculinity will protect them and propel them in the world.
I knew I was gay before I even knew what homosexuality was (didn't find out what "gay" meant until 6th grade). It's so weird that we're being told that a nine-year-old committed suicide and people choose to focus on how said nine-year-old knew about sexual orientation. Do we need to repeat to these people a nine-year-old was bullied into suicide over and over until it finally registers with them the problem with this picture? Jamey Rodomeyer, a kid, committed suicide years ago for being bullied because he was gay. This suicide was met with the same response as Jamel Myles' suicide, with some making videos being more distraught over our culture "promoting homosexuality to young kids." To make the story worse, you had people at Jamey's school antagonizing his family, even going so far to chant "GLAD HE'S DEAD" at a school dance that held a short memorial for him, even when his sister was standing right there hearing all of this. If you're gay, you're gay; you usually find this out at Jamel's and Jamey's age just like straight kids find out that they're straight. I mean, hell. I'll reiterate that I knew I was gay when I was a kid and that was back in the late 90s when being gay could get you beaten and possibly killed, having no support from family, friends, media, etc. The people getting more angry about some kid identifying as gay than they are about the kid killing themselves are ridiculous, sad, and beyond hope.
I don't know. I think people are overly sexually preoccupied and that extends to the straight kids. i'd quote marlene dietrich "In America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it's a fact.". I think making sexuality tremendously fucking important at a young age can be a mistake. Elsewhere it could have consequences of self objectification absent any inkling of understanding oneself. And I recall at least one news story where kids at daycare attempted to act out something they'd seen in xxx pornography. As to knowing, I didn't in any capacity. You wonder about the nature of your emotional connections with your friends. You wonder if you're just acting out programming. You assume you have all manner of illicit desires that you need to repress. And then you hit adolescence and the confusion doesn't become less profound. I don't know. Maybe other people feel less artificial than I do.
He is 9... what his sexuality is shouldn't even enter his mind at that age. PERIOD. His parents encouraged it, instead of having a normal childhood, they wanted their kid to be a "special snowflake", and it caused him to get bullied. Cause and effect. It's a scientific term. Cause: Parent's encourage their child, who is only 9 freaking years old... to "be gay" instead of worrying about normal child things... Effect: Kid gets bullied into suicide. Parents letting the internet and tv rule over their kids instead of taking care of their children like responsible parents. Then, when the kid, who is only 9, commits suicide, they look to blame everyone else but themselves for not watching over their children. It is quite stupid. The whole situation could have been avoided if the parents knew how to... gee, I don't know... parent their children and took better care of them. He wouldn't have been bullied if his parents put a stop to the "I am only 9 and think I am gay" stuff.
Deppfan I had a girlfriend when I was younger than 9, I just didn't knew it at the moment. We were just really close friends and it wasn't a secret relationship, because the whole school and ours families knew how close we were.
I was bullied for a long time when I was in school and since then I've tried to kill myself twice I have extreme social anxiety and depression and I am a straight white guy kids are cruel in generally they find ways to pick apart every little thing about you and for someone like Jamel it must have been even harder someone with the courage to wear their differences on their selves and just live their life in a way that makes them happy. the hardest thing I think about this situation is that it won't stop that's not to say that we shouldn't try to make a difference but I don't think that we will ever deal with bullying in a meaningful way and the only way to get through that when you're in Jamel's position is to have people like his mum and sister and friends you know don't care that you're different they still care about you anyway and that you know will always be there when it counts most
Chris Thompson Definitely off. Four days for him to kill himself? I've had days back then where I wanted to kill myself, but there was always something that kept me from doing it.
Yeah, I hate to be _that_ skeptic, but if he was having such a hard time and yet had such a loving supportive mother, why didn't he tell her what was going on?
Yeah I was gonna comment this but then I saw yours. How did she not notice. Someone doesn't go from fine to suicidal in 4 days, there had to be something else or something pre-existing, like troubles at home or maybe he was being bullied in other areas of his life. I don't know.
I don't care what you know or what you don't know but when I was brought up I was taught the "golden rule" wich is "do on to others as you wish to be done apon you"
The problem is that most people, children especially don't know how they want to be treated. They don't understand that they want people to be kind, listen, and have structured rules. Even if they understand that much, they most likely don't know how to emulate those qualities either because they weren't born with them hardwired or because they may not see their parents acting that way. The golden rule is just annoying poppycock to people who can barely even understand a language.
I grew up Christian and slowly got away from it, but the golden rule has always ruled my life and even after It wasn't about religion, I still believe in Karma... and karna is based on the golden rule principle
Everyone is spending a lot of time talking about Jamel's death and I'm not arguing with that. The death of a nine year old under any circumstances is a tragedy. However, what about the kids that told him to kill himself? The only way to prevent something like this from happening again is to reach out to those kids, and others like them, and make it our mission in life for them to accept people as they are.
Children names are protected by law until they reach a certain age. We can assume that the school is doing something about it or the students who know who bullied him might outcast them but I don’t think it will legally be released.
Bullying is been going on for a long time my friend and is going to keep on going...maybe we as parents need to teach our kids that the world isn’t perfect and stop raising victims and prepare our kids for reality and then maybe kids would stop killing them selfs....in our society today everything bothers people u tell someone o I don’t like your hair and they feel like they need to die if you cannot take on words and develop thicker skin then maybe Darwin theory of evolution is 110% right only the strong will survive....it super sad that a kid feels like he has to die for people’s comments but we need to teach them that the world is a cruel place
I am not saying that bullies should be faced with suicide to learn their lesson; however if they do not learn that it is wrong to bully because of this event, they will never stop.
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Saw this tweeted but I don't remember who tweeted it, they said "everyone questions how a nine-year-old boy would know he was gay but nobody's questioning how other nine-year-olds knew that meant he should be hated." I think that's far more important.
110% true
Why not both?
It's simple kids see something abnormal and hate on it... They have still not developed enough to know better
That's a good question because God knows we live in a world where no one really cares about your sexuality...?
I mean I could find it strange but ..Is it a reason to bully him?
We're not born with this inherent knowledge of hate, it's something we're taught and or learn through our environment.
I came close to being this parent. This last year my kid, who is 11, was bullied so bad that he wrote a suicide note. He wasn’t bullied for his sexuality, he was bullied because he has Tourette’s. I took all the right steps to prevent the bullying but apparently talking to the teachers and principal wasn’t good enough. I took my kid out of school for a couple days without notifying them. We had a ton of fun and they got scared shitless. When I brought him back to school, they were glad he was there but we had a very serious talk about their supposed “0 tolerance for bullying” rule. My kids bullies were suspended the next day and the parents were told exactly why, this was a month before school ended.
I still think of that day that he wrote the suicide note. I think of the panic and the hollow feeling I felt in my chest. I think of the hospital visit and just holding my kid the whole time, not wanting to let go. I think of my past and how I started having suicidal thoughts when I was just 7 years old, and somehow it was all my fault. I think about if I didn’t get my kid help now, how I would be planning a funeral.
I feel so much for this mother. Yes, kids can be dicks, but this goes way beyond that. Bullying has consequences and I hope that this child and his family are not the only ones that got consequences.
My deepest condolences go out to this family.
+FenrisWolfbane Did try signing your kid up for any sort of self defense program like Brazilian jiu jitsu?
Reading this brought back memories of my own, being in a similar place as your child. You are a great parent, thank you.
I’m so glad your baby is okay! Wish him nothing but the best
The problem is a systemic negligence. Kids will only do what they can get away with. They're smarter than most give them credit for. Kids who bully often choose specific targets. Sometimes they travel in packs. These are not things that are difficult to notice.
Kids who are bullied don't often talk to teachers about it, as they're afraid of making the attacks more vicious. They don't tend to talk to their parents about incidents either. Sometimes because they don't want to escalate the situation, but also because they don't want their parents to worry or be disappointed.
Adults MUST be the adult in these situations! They need to be vigilant and protect children from each other. Parents cannot hang out at school and watch over their kids. They trust school staff to be the guardians of their children during the day. It's time the schools stopped this epidemic of apathy. Bragging about Zero Tolerance policies while turning a blind eye until it's too late can no longer be an acceptable effort.
You are so very lucky. Your kid is so very lucky to have you.
I used to have tourrettes, I remember when I used to get bullied for that. Tell your son that he's not alone, that he will get through it and it gets better with age. I barely have bouts of tics now. And people become more understanding.
I told a girl in the 3rd grade that I loved her. Kids also think all sorts stuff. It doesn't matter if he thought he was gay or a dinosaur. He didn't deserve to be bullied because of it.
Right! My niece swore she was a cat all through 2nd grade. Went as far as wearing cat ear headbands for most of the school year... everyday... none of her classmates cared. There was 1 asshole parent would got mad about it (why? idk lol) but the teacher said "as long as her hair accessories aren't a distraction in school, she can wear them."
I want to know where these kids learned to say such awful things. Is is social media? TV? Parents? Online gaming? I want to know who taught those kids to be so mean and hateful.
James Downs kids are wicked. Suicide is never the answer though
@@kurtcocaine1866 my thoughts are, how would a 9yr old even know what the answer was? I'm just saying, we can talk about mental illness and suicide, but he was 9, and proud of himself and excited and nervous to share his truth. They bullied him into non-existence. This isn't "he was so depressed and felt it was the only way" He was cruelly rejected and emotionally pushed. My heart hurts. I feel kids learn hate and intolerance first and foremost from their parents.
RIP little sunshine ❤
Witchy Mel firstly do we know he was bullied so horrendously? Because the way the story is presented he had 4 days to endure the worst abuse ever. Second, about not knowing the answer, its 2018 and the internet is a thing aside from having counselors and a family, a family which he was comfortable asking to buy him girl clothes yet he disclosed nothing about being bullied so bad he killed himself? Doesnt add up. Also if he'd have learned to love himself and accept that with the choice he made he inevitably would be looked at differently, and especially by children who have mob mentality and an extremely narrow world view, he could have just endured the bullshit, or gotten new friends. Point is he was dumb for killing himself, and it clearly shows how he wasn't prepared for life. He would have thrown the gift of living away if his car didn't start later in life.
@@troymcclure681Did you not get crushes as a kid, ooor? You seem to be arguing with opinions and feelings instead of facts though, so honestly I wouldn't care anyway.
My issue is the fact there are kids at his school, elementary aged children, who are already spewing hate, homophobia and bigotry. A poor reflection on society and their family.
How about we teach them not to be bigots. The "killing" thing is a bigot thing.
Difference between shitty parenting and homophobia, there's nothing to say this was because of his sexuality, AT ALL, so don't even try to say thats why. Lmfao.
Possible, however there is a chance they get the info from the online community. Social osmosis and the like.
Boys are shitters in general at that age because they haven't learned tolerance or open-mindedness yet. Not an excuse, but a correction to your assertion that they're already hateful bigots. Like no they're not, kids are just assholes. Secondly, I think we should be more alarmed that a nine year old boy would know what suicide was (he shouldn't), and that it is a supposed means to end a sorrowful situation (it damn well isn't).
Agreed. To hold 8 year old kids to moral standards that SHOULD be applied to adults is not very practical. Kids that age are completely unaware. Even if this poor kid felt he was being bullied, the "bullies" in this case probably didn't even know they were doing it. I have a daughter this age and am constantly reminding her to think of how something makes someone else feel. It's just harder for them to put themselves in others shoes. Has nothing to do with parenting, it's just the age and the cognitive maturity of that age group.
Bullying is just disgusting and robs people of their self worth.
Bullying both as kid and as adult nearly drove me to suicide. As a first gen American with a Panamanian heritage, there wasn’t a ton acceptance. I wasn’t black enough for African Americans, wasn’t Latino enough, and too Other for the south...
Being the smart kid in the era of Steve Urkel and Carlton Banks, wasn’t praise worthy... the people were supposed to support you and champion you for showing your value, kicked you in the face because you made them feel inferior instead of proud,
It was relentless and it never really stopped. I started getting bad grades because I would cut class and hide in the school just to not deal with certain people and because my teachers didn’t stand up for me...
I didn’t always feel like I could go to my mom because she was going through her own issues and had my 3 younger siblings...
If it wasn’t for the support of good friend I wouldn’t be here today...
It’s so sad that in all these years... the world hasn’t gotten any better when it comes to this. Children are still tormented for just being themselves and not allowed to have any pride or agency... forced to fit in or feel like they have no way out...
Just sad... 😥
hugs to you. I feel so bad for Jamal. I love you.
Roberto Blake Teachers for some reason never stand up for anybody. Maybe I ran into the bad ones, but whenever something happened with a bully and I told the principles there'd never be any punishment and I'd just get targetted.
Its tough out here man. Whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger atleast. Glad you powered through my friend ☺
I understand this on every single level... im glad you made it out alive and obviously sane 💋
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For the guy who tweeted “why so many kids know about suicide and homosexuality”. It isn’t the internet. I’m 20 and I was bullied when I was in the 4th grade as well, told to kill myself and that I belonged in hell no one would miss me. There was a kid in my grade who wasn’t gay but still was bullied because he wore a pink shirt. Hell I was questioned in the 2nd grade if I was gay or not from a classmate, she wasn’t malicious about it but she kindly asked me. I told her no because I was scared that if I told her yes I would be bullied even worse. These kids learn shit from their parents and older generations. The internet shouldn’t be used as a scapegoat for everything.
When I was in school i had diabetes and kids would tell me to kill myself because I cant have sugar and I'm gonna die anyway
"These kids learn shit from their parents and older generations. The internet shouldn’t be used as a scapegoat for everything." 100% Right there.
9 and 10 year olds were most certainly on the internet 10 years ago. I genuinely don't understand how kids bullying *you* proves that the internet is not involved in what mature topics (suicide) really young kids know about.
Pre-Packaged _
The said kid I mentioned that bullied me when I was 9, well let’s just say he was a very consistent little shit. The bullying and taunting went as far as kindergarten. Internet use for children was unheard of in 2003. And I remember a teacher/parent meeting with my 2nd grade teacher and my mom. She mentioned that the said bully in question had bullied other children, I wasn’t the only one and that he had problems at home. So most of the “mature” matters you’re mentioning do stem from the household.
I couldn’t agree more, @Ashley Melendez. Bullying existed long before the internet, which should prove that the internet isn’t a sole cause. The internet is a medium for human social behaviour, so people can definitely learn to bully over the internet, and we need to be wary of this. But young people have also learnt it at home and at school for a loooong time.
He was in the fourth grade. People were questioning how he knew he was gay, I'm questioning how those other children learned such hate, or even just didn't learn how to be kind, from their parents. That sweet boy deserved better than he got. I am heartbroken for him and I too would die any death just to trade places with him so he could live and feel loved.
Fyi there was no evidence presented that he was bullied or told to kill himself.
@TheStoutProtagonist yeah ikr. When i grow up and get a house, It will literally be underwater cause you know, water risin n shit
Do you not remember your childhood? Kids are fucking *vicious!*
There isn't any actual evidence that he was bullied or that he was gay. That is just what the Mom is saying on social media. And yes, she launched a GoFundMe...
Homosexuality is actually not against our biological principles (whatever they are) if you accept that there are too many people alive today ... having less or no children is actually a good thing, so perhaps homosexuality is a 'natural solution' for the problem of too many people on earth.
For those of you who didn't go look up more on this story: He and one of his sisters had been being bullied throughout the last year. But considering he didn't kill himself until this school year, as well as further things he told his sisters about what he was going through, that's why his Mom believes homophobia was involved. But he'd been being bullied for a long time. This wasn't "4 days and he killed himself." He'd been being harmed.
Also for everyone shitting on his Mom: she's flat out said she blames herself because she didn't know how horribly he felt and didn't protect him. So maybe cut her some slack because she's already breaking.
And she DID contact the school. She said she spent the last school year in constant contact with the school about bullying issues. So she didn't just blow off her kids nor was she an absentee parent. The school definitely failed here considering they already knew this kid was a target. But then again, my teachers watched me be bullied and literally stood by and did nothing. And I don't mean they heard about it. I mean THEY WITNESSED IT and KNEW and did not care.
And I don't think the school would be releasing statements and acknowledging problems if there wasn't confirmed issues.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Teachers who turn a blind eye to bullying should be fired.
Yeah i was one of the people shitting on the mom, i feel sorry now for that now i didnt know she actually tried to help his kid but the fucking school didnt help her.
"Hello hello, welcome to Your Morning Show, my name is Philip DeFranco" is actually a pretty good intro
Everything is great except its isnt beautiful barstards
FratinandMadrik it's a sad intro. I hadn't read the title but I already knew it was gonna be bad because of that intro.
It almost sounds like the start of a rap.
FratinandMadrik especially with a sad video of course that would make a good intro
Sounds gay
I knew I was straight as early as pre-school when I had a crush on my classmate (I still remember her name which is kinda weird). I don’t see why a gay guy can’t find out he likes boys at the same age.
Sure, but the parents should prepare their children for society and not expect society to understand something outside of their perspective. Bad parenting. Period.
I didn't even know what being gay was at age 9 I'm pretty sure, I started thinking about girls in that way at like age 12 maybe. Everyone is different though.
I found out I liked girls in Kindergarten... I too had a crush. It's not hard to find out y'all!
antipathy17 how is it bad parenting to teach your child to be proud of themselves? why is it you're willing to call the mother who lost her child to bullying a bad parent instead of the parents of the bullies?
Erick Khan they can. But how did they come up with an answer so quickly? I was molested by an older girl when I was a kid and I liked it. Maybe that shaped my sexuality. Even adults can be impressionable but with kids it’s on another much deeper level. Since more than likely people are straight, I wonder what causes people to be gay. People have admitted to sexual encounters having a big factor in what they liked as they got older. And people react differently. It’s a complicated issue and the worst thing to do would be to assume we understand. We don’t.
Glad you raised more awareness of this story, i wouldn't have even heard of it without watching this.
So helpful that organisations like "Trevor Project" and more are out there.
Didn't expect to see you here...
Unfortunately, this was reported on too soon without enough facts presented. There's no evidence this kid was bullied and the moms story raises more questions than answers. This story is going to put a lot of egg on people's faces.
This completely breaks my heart. This should NEVER happen. All the people saying how would he know? Really? You didn't have crushes or feelings as a child? I did. And even if you didn't, why does it matter? It doesn't. Regardless of the circumstances, there should never be a reason for a child to want to kill him or herself. No one, no child, should EVER think it's okay to tell someone to kill themselves.
Thank you, Phil for sharing these stories and for being so level-headed most of the time.
Shana Leigh
crushes and knowing about sexuality are different. We have a right to be skeptical. Too much push for being inclusive, and now a 9 year olds seem to know what being gay is? when i was a small child, my mom raised me as a single parent and had a roommate who was a lesbian. I shrugged it off. Any crushes i had was just that a crush.
Nothing serious. having a childhood crush is not the same as knowing your sexuality, and kids need to be taught these things. Where was the kid taught this?
he sjw people are trying to make preschoolers watch porn to teach them not to rape. there is a bad youtube channel called queer kids stuff that is a 2-7 age group pushing adult topics on children.
Azura Moonstar seriously? I knew I was gay by the time I was 5. Which was a year after I found out what being gay even was. Just because you, as a straight person, don't understand, doesn't mean your oh so mighty world view is the only right one.
When you're different, when you're not like everyone else, *you don't miss it.*
And it's not about sexuality. It's about feelings. Period. This little boy knew he liked boys. Period. You don't have the right to question that.
And kids know about being gay because it's fucking 2018 and we've finally started treating gay people as normal and don't hide that shit away like it's dirty. What a concept.
And pushing inclusivity is what helps protect these kids.
This child is dead because or hatred and bigotry and lack of tolerance and parents failing to teach their children compassion.
People like you are infuriating beyond words.
Well said. If you are old enough to have a crush, chances are high you know about sexuality. If you're gay, the chance of this increases SIGNIFICANTLY simply because you know that the VISIBLE norm (on TV, in movies, in the home, at your friends, in school, in the textbooks, etc., etc.,) is for you to like someone who IS NOT your sex. How could you POSSIBLY not know you're 'different' if you realize you like the same sex?
All your peers would be (assuming CIS/heteronorms/etc) having crushes on opposing sexes, while you're interested in others of the same in-group. It's sort of obvious at that point you're different from them and there are only so many words being used in the world around a child to explain what's going on. *_This is why it is imperative that sexualities other than hetero be properly included in society's discussions, so that children will HAVE the understanding and not be made to feel other; by accepting all sexualities as valid and 'normal', empathy for those who develop this way can be promoted to better effect_* (IE: children won't be so mean if they think there's nothing odd or different at all in the idea of a same-sex crush/pairing/interest).
There is absolutely no reason to think a child old enough to have crushes might not know their sexuality. None at all. Literally only possible if they come from a culture where even the word 'gay' is taboo, removing all access to any sort of knowledge of homosexuality in existence, so that said child would LITERALLY not know other sexualities are a thing. Which would damage the child psychologically in significant ways (as we've seen historically)..
Crushes and knowing about sexuality are NOT different; that is a distinction about different levels of awareness on the same topic. Just because they can't describe what it is, does NOT mean they can't tell they are drawn to what they are. Also, the idea of a child between 7 and 10 NOT knowing what homosexuality, in the western world, with access to the internet and the ability to spell, is laughable. Most 7 year-old children can work a computer better than most 50 year-olds these days... You think they can't google? That they can't read? That they aren't watching TV shows with same-sex parents displayed on them (common, now, there are whole channels dedicated to children's shows with inclusive content) at home, at friend's homes or at school? That little Timmy hasn't shown little John that funny video on his iPad of the two men 'wrestling' yet?
Things aren't like they were pre-internet on the school grounds anymore. Unless you homeschool and helicopter parent your child, they probably know more about sexuality than you think.
That kid should NOT have known WTF is GAY even means to begin with!! let alone come out as a ......
Shana Leigh I didn’t have a crush until I was 13 some people develop crushes when they are 5, it’s different for everyone. 9 is actually the average age for people to start having sexual feelings, but I do feel like crushes at the young of an age don’t really mean much and your preferences could change, he could’ve just liked boys more because he thought girls were weird or something, or he may have started puberty and therefore started having sexual feeling for other humans(this is when your true sexuality is discovered). It doesn’t really matter though, as people shouldn’t kill themselves over something as silly as sexuality
It's irrelevant to this discussion whether or not he would actually have been gay having gone through puberty. It's the fact that he told his classmates he was and they appear to have hounded him to death within days for it. That's a genuinely scary scenario.
That's school for you, kids will find the person acting different and pick on them.
In my personal experience, kids above the age of 6-7 can be incredibly cruel.
Keyser Soze yeah, it’s cause he told the,he was gay, not wearing women’s cloths to school knowing he’s a boy.
That couldn’t be it.
None of the gay kids in my school ever killed themselves or even tried to, and I was in high school at a time that it was even less socially accepted. They weren’t ever told to kill themselves either.
This story sounds like he went to school dressed as a woman and was made fun of for it, but they’re using the fact he was Gay as the catalyst for why he killed himself. Highly doubtful. More likely its because of him dressing like a woman.
And you can’t argue that it’s sane or mentally healthy todo such a thing if you’re a man.
I I nah man. It depends on what school your at. I get told to kill myself everyday for being gay. If i was 9 when that happened I would prob kill myself cuz when your 9 you think when everyone dont like you its the end of the world. . I say we stop jumping to conclusions and wait for more info.
@@TheBigRagu77 "I haven't seen it so it doesn't exist."
That's what you just said
I am 25 y/o and at the age of 10 I had my first suicide attempt due to bullying - how did I know how to kill myself at such a young age? 1. We had painkillers in the house and my mom had told me that you can’t take too many (when I was sick) cause it’s dangerous so I put 2 and 2 together... 2. I knew that cutting your throat hard enough would kill you just from plain logic... 3. I knew jumping off a bridge in front of a train would be deadly.
People give WAY too little credit on what kids know and how far they can think. You shouldn’t worry about HOW a child knows how to kill them selves - you should worry about WHY a child would think it.
Exactly.
Exactly, Kids are way smarter then adults give them credit for. From a young age we're taught "Don't stand close to the railway tracks because you'll die if you fall" ect. We're taught how not to die as part of growing up in school safety. Kids aren't stupid enough not to realize that doing the opposite will kill them if they wanted.
Sunny.bias You did all 3 of those on your first attempt? You were fucking determined
Who gives a 10-year old prescription medication
I don't think it would hurt to worry about both as the bullies can tell the victim how to do it. Remember, there's more than one side in this tragedy that played a part.
When I was 7 years old, I tried to kill myself because my parents were divorcing at the time and were fighting everyday. My farther would slam and throw furniture and hurt my mother. My world was falling apart and for some reason, I thought it was my fault. I tried jumping in front of moving vehicle one day while at daycare. I was stopped by my daycare teacher and was sent to a mental hospital where I learned that I wasn't the only one to have a bad home life.
What my point is, is that suicide is a real thing even at a young age.
I sympathize for Jamel and wish the best for his family.
Edit: Thank you all for spreading support and love.
Damn, that's rough man. Thank you for sharing your story to the world - that's not something most people would do.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Glad you're still here.
Darian Alexander that's horrible to hear I'm sure things have gotten better tho all the best
I actually tried toKill myself you to and right now at this moment I am 13
I knew I was straight as an arrow by the age of 4, so why are people surprised that a 9 year old knows he's gay. This shouldn't be the focus anyway, the boy tried to be brave and was bombarded with hatred. The kids involved in the bullying, and their upbringing should be in question.
Kids are assholes. They will pick on anything they deem weird. So to send your son to school with fake nails and feminine clothes is asking for kids to pick on him. I'm not saying its justified, but every kid has a time where they do something shitty without realising the gravity of their actions. Also kids often echo what one person says blindly. This isnt a high school or college were talking about, so we cant act like its an easy blame on somebody because we need somebody to blame. Anybody who had anything to do with this can be blamed if you look for a reason.
Herr Kasten For sure, you’re completely right. It’s not as simple as blaming the kids, because they’re at that immature age. Perhaps they didn’t understand the gravity of their words, and yeah there are so many influences out there that no one person is to blame. But regardless it’s just a shame things turned out this way.
I have a problem with them becoming sexual or being sexualized by fads and trends....be it in glittery beauty pageants, fake fingernails, dyed hair, make up, false eyelashes...Never seemed healthy to me..I feel like kids are impressionable and way to easily groomed. Many parents are opting for the gender neutral parenting and maybe that is a good thing to a point. If a girl chooses a basketball and a boy chooses an easy bake oven.....then you can decide from there instead of imposing it. I just know my family will send boys solders and girls dolls and they have that right.
+CaptainBlankENT Is that your baby in the avatar; if yes, how old are you?
Yeah i think mom should of told that some people are hateful and that maybe he shouldn't tell every one because he might get hate
This breaks me. Hearing his mom say "I still love you," and him trusting his peers enough to go back to school, dressing more feminine and then they took advantage of that. Breaks me. We need to teach more kindness in schools and at younger ages. I know children don't know better. That is no excuse, but we as adults, as parents and teachers and leaders to these young people, we need to be better guidance. Just treat people with love, and protect those that are "different" and deemed more vulnerable to these bullies. My heart is with his family.
You ever consider darwinism? Dude couldn't make it so he died, seems bout right, weed the weak out whoever they are
if children dont know better why do they do it? that would imply its a natural reaction.........?
Wtf is wrong with all the replies to this comment?
The kids probably learned the hate from parents or people around them, a kid should be allowed to express themselves without being bullied for it and what kind of backwards ass mentality of "Oh the single kid who got bullied by their entire class was weak" as if any 9 year old would just brush off being bullied by their entire class.
There is something deeply wrong with all of you people.
Karol Jeske, you get it.
It starts with the parents.. Some behave as if they are just animals. I think so many people who have kids have serious dysfunctions. It's clear as then they become these insane dysfunctional adults
To the people wondering how a child can know about suicide:
No, it's not necessarily media/internet. I spoke to my mom about wanting to kill myself around 6 years old. I told her to get me "the scissors you cut the chicken with" because if they could cut through chicken, they could probably cut through me. She was on the phone with Children's Hospital for hours, following instructions to hide all sharp objects and setting up an emergency therapy appointment. I had *never* heard of suicide, but the urges were still there. I think that once a kid has an understanding of death [usually develops between 5-7 years old], there's this subconscious understanding that they can cause it. Mix that with warnings ["Don't touch those scissors; they could chop your fingers off!" "If you break glass, get an adult; the sharp pieces could cut you and *really* hurt you!" etc.], and kids can come up with ways to kill themselves. They aren't dumb.
What DOES surprise me is that his classmates told him to. Yes, bullying has always been around, but I can't remember kids telling others to kill themselves at that age. Maybe 12 or 13 at the earliest, but definitely not 9. I can't help but wonder where they learned that. *That* part might be a media thing.
thank you for sharing this. it's interesting seeing into the mind, how processes work for different people. my friend wanted to die since she was a child - tried to commit suicide once, didnt think she'd live past 16. she's 27 now. me, never thought i'd live past 30. i was waiting to die for well over a decade. i'll be 34 on saturday. it's bizarre how the brain does these things.
I have never heard or experienced kids this young saying things like that...when I was little the bullying was making fun of clothes or breath...crazy world
My husband also asked for a utensil (a knife in his case) to kill himself as a young child. He was put on Prozac very young, which has messed with his ability to keep audio-visual memories
Deputy F. Gills This is my experience, and I'm sharing it to give perspective. I was diagnosed with early childhood major depressive disorder, which is, sadly, often overlooked. It shaped my entire childhood, from isolating myself, to lack of energy/interest, to violent outbursts [the last of which thankfully stopped at 10 years old]. I'm not trying to make this about me - I'm trying to make people realize that kids can have suicidal tendencies before 9 years old. It's not necessarily the media to blame. Never underestimate what a child can do, both good *and* bad.
When I was 4 I remember explaining to my dog that I could kill him if he barked and woke up my parents. I told him I could stab him in the throat so he wouldn't make any noise... Do not under estimate children. Yes, some are innocent little balls of gooyey sunshine, but plenty of us mature faster due to our own situations. I knew about suicide when I was his age (9). I also knew how sex actually worked. I had little interest in it, but I knew about intercourse.
Adults live in denial/ignorance of all of the things that a child can comprehend or determine on their own. Humans didn't get to where they are today without problem solving skills. And if that problem is your own existence, you'll find a way of fix it with enough determination.
No matter what your beliefs are. No matter what you agree or disagree with. Pushing someone to commit such an act on themselves is evil. I am a religious man. I believe in God, and it is because of that reason that I love all people. Yes my religion condemns acts of homosexuality but it doesn't matter. Just because my religion says to not like their actions it doesn't mean to not like that person. Everyone is wonderfully and beautifully made by a God that loves them, and because of that we should treat eachother equally.
Even if you're not religious. Don't view this from the Christian perspective, view it from the perspective of life. Our lives are precious. There is nothing in the universe more valuable than a life. We all have a limited time on this planet so instead of using it to spread hatred use it to spread love. There has been enough hate in this world. We all need to learn to start loving a little more.
You should be an atheist or agnostic. You’re better than your god.
Not a bullying issue. Poor parenting issue. How the hell did a 9 year old know how to kill himself? Parents need to step up and take some responsibility.
I'm a full on atheist and I appreciate seeing someone extending the love and pushing out positive vibes. Keep on keepin on.
Glad to see there are other Christians that understand this. Way too many don't.
positive vibes are what im all about my man
I was so miserable as a child. I grew up in an extremely religious community that told me being gay was a sin, that I needed to just try harder to be straight. So I did, I tried so hard. I dated a boy for 3 years, trying to make myself be straight and instead just making me miserable. I almost killed myself. The only reason I'm still alive is that I had a loving mother who was there for me and who loves me for who I am. My heart goes out to every child going through similar situations. You will find your community, your people, who love you for who you really are.
Thank you
It's a sin regardless if it "feels" right to you. Deny all you want all gays will have their place in the 🔥
On point with kids getting crushes at 9. Also people who are like "well, how does a kid know about suicide?" I tried to commit suicide when I was in 6th grade. When you're in that state, your mind thinks of things. Stop thinking that these are "adult" subjects. Kids understand more than we give them credit for.
Sorry you went through that. Hope you've found your place.
They only know these things because society taught them
Mariaalicia Barraza thank you
It's so upsetting that kids are treated as if they know less. I've known a fuck ton of things at just 11 years old, I sincerely hope more and more people, parents know this. Kids need to be talked to about what goes on in their minds.
i think i thought about killing myself around that age too. and just about everyday since.
Why are people questioning a 9 year old knowing their sexuality, when they really should be discussing Jamel's peers knowing how to be so homophobic at 9 years old.
BMXJerseyDirty “what are you gay” is a standard playground insult that ingrains it, but in all honesty homophobia has lost its meaning phobia is fear. Everyone uses it as hate now. So arachnophobia is hate of spiders apparently. Also it’s not people questioning a 9 year old knowing his sexuality. It’s people using logic to STATE THE FACT that 9 year olds brains aren’t developed enough to understand their sexuality.
It's not homophobia, it's a way to define groups. And if you're
In a group, well that's the best group. The other groups aren't as good. In fact, they're bad. And that group has only one person in it. It must be horrible.
BMXJerseyDirty umm because they're kids. They also piss and shit themselves sooo they may not be the most tolerant bunch.
Two yr olds are this bad as well. Kids naturally know how to lie, cheat, steal, and cause harm without being taught because it's human nature. It's called the Sin Nature of Man.
Joel Koonce so keep normalizing bad behaviors? Do we not correct children when they fuck up? But I guess it's all normal
Hate is inherit.
Kids are cruel, for they haven't developed high moral standards, but their hormones have already kicked in.
There you go, answered.
Now can we go back to discussing how his parents haven't, at all, prepared him for the discrimination he was bound to face?
I think it's appalling that people are more outraged about how a 9-year old knew about his sexuality rather than how a 9-year old knew how to kill himself
Violence is in most cartoons and can sometimes be the show's shtick. Use some critical thinking, a 9 year old can easily understand suicide and common ways of doing so (knives, bleach, drowning), it's not that difficult.
You are raises being taught what not to do in order to survive. Kids are not dumb. They know that if they do the dangerous things they were told not to do that they could die from it.
I think it's appalling how everybody thinks those should be the conversation when it's obviously bad parenting that caused this.
I was 7 and tried killing myself, what do you mean? It takes a google search and a mindset that death is the only way out.
I attempted suicide at 7 years old . Landed me in a Houston psych ward for a few weeks with some of the wildest/dangerous kids in the city . That was back in 1999/2000
I taught 5th grade last year and a student of mine attempted suicide in class by slitting his wrist with a pair of scissors and screaming "I want to die!" It's a different world that we live in now -- trust me, kids KNOW this stuff, for better or for worse :(
Not that my generation was angels but we never had issues like this. I blame parents for forcing adult topics on children not capable or prepared to handle them.
Despair doesn't change. Despair has existed for as long as humans have. When despair reaches it's ultimatum, the outcome is always the same. This is not a generational change. The only difference is, now, we're hearing about it.
you went to one school of out millions *Mr. I'm the embassaror of my elementary school.*
you realize it very likely one of ur class mates were being sexually or physically abused. no u dont, bc u don't know everything
Sheepdog So at your age you went to every school and talked to every kid your age to know that your generation didn't have those problems did you? Lol okay. Just because you didn't hear about it doesn't mean it didn't happen. My generation was exposed to the same stuff as his and no one in my area killed themselves because of bullying. Does that mean it didn't happen in other parts of the country? No.
This is terrifying
I'm so crushed that people are turning this into something more than A FREAKING 9 YEAR OLD took his life.
itsjustgigi 9545 Amen
He could have been straight and it is equally terrible
I turned it into "Our school system has failed us." You know that if they were on top of things they would at least call or send a note home. The faculty of that school let this happen by not taking action of any kind. How hard is it to write "Hey I think your son is being picked on in class" and send it home with the kid? It isn't.
No ones turning into anything it was because of homophobia and bullying each year dozens of lgbt kids and teens commit suicide this is shedding light on the subject of bullying and homophobia as a whole no one ever wants to speak up on anything or go against it because they simply down play on twitter and Facebook there are thousands of people saying he shouldnt have been gay and that their happy which is sick and disgusting
@@seansullivan6176 not by the media standards. If a straight white Male killed himself after being bullied for being ugly or something you would never hear about it
Asking about kids with crushes? I had a crush on someone in, like, third grade. And asking 'how do kids know about suicide?' My step father killed himself when I was only 6, so yeah, plenty of kids know about that kinda thing. It's not like death doesn't exist for kids, they're not blind to these kinda things.
Man, I can't imagine losing a kid, but I can easily imagine the shit he endured (having endured it myself, and having had these kinds of thoughts in the past). I wish no kids had to go through this shit.
Eh. People always run away from the truth. Basic human instinct. Kids know a lot more than they're given credit for, ultimately this proves fatal for a poor boy expressing himself the only way he knew how in an environment that has failed in every single way for generations. I don't believe in the whole "thoughts and prayers" crap but damn , no mother should have to lose their child to something so foolish and avoidable. I wish he would have kept it to his family and come out later to the public. Someone can always be ready to publicly disclose their sexuality , but the public can disagree just as easily.
In regards to him being at the faultless age of 9 years old and coming to terms with who he is, I'd say he was brave as fuck. I would have been honored to be this little kiddos friend in school. May he rest easy and away from the parent crowd.
Firstly sorry to hear about your dad , secondly you are absolutely correct , in this current era social media , internet and the reality is so harsh on kids that they are forced to get mature before time , and this news happen to be side effect of the same.
Adults want to trivialize children for some reason and I don't understand it. Kids are smart. Like, way smarter than we often give them credit for. Kids know more than we'll ever realize because we've grown up and forgotten what was common knowledge to a kid.
I kissed my first girl in grade 2 in art class, had my first "gf" in grade 4. I was a 80 s child so not much has changed
Wait, how could your STEP father kill himself at the age of 6? Maybe its because I just woke up or maybe you mis typed but....6? Stepfathers are......what your mother remarries to,yes? So. Wait I'm confused. Sorry. No disrespect.
I was in fourth grade in Mexico when a friend of mine told me he liked me. Consider the fact that I was in a very “macho” oriented culture.
The guy was a friend of mine, he enjoyed competing to be the strongest and he would play around with the guys as any normal kid. He would say which girl he thought was the prettiest and never gave off any quality that would be considered feminine.
He asked me to be his boyfriend, he was 10 years old living in Mexico. The world and his own religion against him... I am sorry to say that my first reaction was to laugh. I thought he was joking or trying to see if I was gay so he could tell everyone and get me bullied. I noticed too late that he was serious. I saw his reaction and I felt like a jerk. I told him that I was into this other girl and that I really only liked girls. He went away shy. I never told anyone about that experience. Not because I thought of it as embarrassing (it actually boosted my ego that someone was into me) but because I knew not everyone would accept him. I didn’t care that he thought I was gay. I kept talking to him as always and the world found out he was gay the day he decided to come out.
Kids do know. I knew I was straight since I was 4 and I saw women on television. I bet my friend knew as well around that age. I bet it took him a long time and courage to come up to a boy and tell him his feelings.
This story is heart breaking. Just love
Thanks for being an awesome guy and not having fragile masculinity Nicolas.
@@latioswarshowdown1202 dude are you serious? You missed his point completely. Hes not saying he feels guilty, hes saying that its fine to be gay and everbody should be more accepting of others differences essentially. Did you even read it??
+Showdown I think you misspelled, "I'm a giant douchenozzle."
It's heartbreaking to see all of the people saying, "He's too young to know anyway."
What that basically means is, if you're gay, or you think you might be, you can't treat your feelings about other people as legitimate until you're older. Your friends around you can talk about celebrities or classmates that they think are cute, and you have to wait a few years, because your feelings might not be real anyway. Fuck that. Fuck that exclusion.
Nicolas Montiel some kids do not know. Because you did maybe you have false memory four is kind of young for memory but even if that is true what about the boys who were molested at a young age and were influenced by others I honestly believe even if we are going in one direction we can be convinced to go in another especially with the influence of other people more especially when you are young. I don’t see anything wrong with being gay but when it’s promoted like this a mom dressing her son as a girl it’s sick and crazy to me. I’d call it a gay agenda if being gay is so normal to a child why is there’s this push for representation? Especially underage it’s meant to turn kids in that direction and I feel if you are pointed in a gay direction I find that very sinister.
Min Min I need to start hearing more
About the toxicity of feminism. Nothing wrong with being a man.
Yeah good luck with that, kids are 100 times nastier than most adults. They always have been and always will be! I've seen it, heard about it, and was a victim of full physical abuse by kids my age in SECOND GRADE. And the abuser's parents blamed ME! I hope someday someone proves me wrong and that bullying stops. That poor little boy!
Same. I was always bullied in elementary ( physically and verbally ) and when the time came that I lost my patience and defended myself I was the only one to get in trouble.
I think it's not necessarily that kids are nastier than adults, it's just that they haven't learned not to say what they're thinking ALL THE TIME. We "adults" are probably equally nasty, we've just learned to hide it when it's not appropriate (many of us have, at least).
Well at least kids that age tend not to rape and murder but I generally agree with you.
Socially Frightened true with me. It's ironic really.
Bonnie A it's kinda two way like you says. Domestic abuses and rapes are well hidden but as adults if you hit someone or even hit back in defense you go to jail. No excuses. You get a black mark on your records while kids get it a lot easier.
Schools don't care about Bullying. They say they do for the sake of PR but when it comes to actually dealing with it schools will go no further than a yearly PSA to the students. Teachers typically turn a blind eye to bullying instead of punishing it. They'll hear name calling or see a kid being beat up and walk the other way. Maybe you are or know a teacher who cares, if so thank god some still do but overall North American schools only care just enough to keep the money coming in.
If by chance there is a teacher reading this who knows of a school bully, learn about why her/him does it and if its because of the usual abuse or poor self image then try to fix it with therapy. If they just happen to be a bad person, punish them. Be as hard as you legally can on the kid. Sometimes tough love is exactly what someone needs to be set strait.
Side note: I am Canadian but what I say applies to most North American schools. If your schools didn't have bullying or responded properly to it I hope you realize just how lucky you are.
V1DE0 in terms of physical abuse, that is fairly uncommon in most standard schools, but often it is verbal abuse, and tons of it
V1DE0 I would challenge your statement by saying that helicopter parenting and constant government interference have created a situation where teachers have no control over classrooms. Should teachers actually see bullying happen, they are no longer in a position to discipline a bully or suspend them for a few days because parents will threaten to sue the school district or the teacher. Sometimes both. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s a shame. The kids know it too. They know that mom and dad will come to the rescue and they don’t have to answer for anything. That’s the biggest problem. Lack of responsibility.
You're so right. School's don't care and they won't do anything about it and it's disgusting.
I don't know where you live, but here in Texas they are far less tolerant now to bullying than they where when I was in school. They end it faster, and often there are zero tolerance policies that result in the bully being suspended.
In my experience in schools, yeah absolutely nothing is done about bullying. And if a child defends themself they will be punished harder than the bully 100% of the time. They always say just tell the teachers when ur bullied, but they wont do shit other than maybe give a talking to the bully, then the bully is just gonna beat up the victim even more for that. Schools are absolutely useless for dealing with bullying its actually very pathetic.
Didn’t realize the morning shows were gonna be a normal thing moving forward. Thanks!
It's my daily fix along with a cup of coffee. Morning shows are the best.
For me it's more like "Noon show", since I live in Poland, and the show comes out at 1PM, somewhere around that. But I love'em, because that means I don't have to wait untill Friday to watch Thursday's PDFS, which I usually watch around 6-7AM when I wake up the next day
It definitely helped me wake up to get my cousin off to school, even if now I want to punch some nine year olds.
I'm gay. Though I had no idea what sex was (I literally thought you can get pregnant by kissing someone), I started having crushes on the same sex at around 8 or 9. I had no idea what it meant, just that I liked them more than the opposite sex. I found out this meant I was gay when puberty hit. That's when the fear, anger, loneliness, and denial set in. When I desperately told myself it was a phase. That it would go away if I just suppress it and pray hard enough.
It didn't.
I didn't come out until I was in college. It went surprisingly very well. I didn't lose anyone of the people I really cared about. There were times when I came so very close to giving up in my teens though. The pressure of hearing people talk about you like you're inhuman, abnormal, rejected by God, or just somehow born to burn in hell gets to you. Especially when it comes from people with authority, like priests. I can only imagine what it must be like to be a kid and be told that to your face every day in school.
U are creep
I don't know you personally but I respect you as a person and I hope the best for you. Life can be tough but humanity is constantly changing for the better and we learn from our mistakes and improve on them to become better to others and ourselves. Thank you for sharing your story.
He only lasted 4 days tho..... kinda jumped the gun there. There's more to this story that we don't know. There's always more to a story. Tragic none the less
♡
Angry Kittens I feel you
I remember the first time I saw Mulan at a friend's house, getting so involved in a chase seen I said, run damn you run! And her mother hit the roof. Put the fear of God into me, stuck with me my whole life. For saying damn. My parents would have executed me if they found out I told another kid to kill himself, it's unfathomable.
I’m sorry, how does that first part follow that second part?
her point is parents should be more cognitive and aware of what their kids are saying and handle it. Am I close Marsha?
I say damn all the damn time, cause I don't get why people assign arbitrary levels of naughtyness to certain words. You can say dang and darn but not damn? It means the same thing and one just happens to roll off the tongue better. Now tell me you can't insult someone more by calling them a flocking dingdong.
If someone called me a flocking dingdong, instead of a normal "curse word
" (i use the F-work like a comma) I think it would sting me because they created a new word to call me LOL
Kevin Cisz right on both counts :D
I really don't think humans are intelligent or as compassionate as we are all taught to believe. Empathy should be taught the second you enter the world. Glad you're here to speak up about this DeFranco!
A child's brain needs to be developed enough to be able to understand empathy. At that young of an age you have no filter for yourself because that comes later in life.
Edit: not that a child can't be taught what's right and wrong.
@@dolphinator9987 true, it all depends on the people around them. Raising them and teachinng them ideals. Sucks that a certain few kids were taught that being gay should mean you should just die. It's a shame. It makes me sad.
Children understand rule-based morality, as opposed to effect-based morality.
Modeling, modeling, modeling. Kids do what they see.
@@kellyalves756 They gotta get it from somewhere 👀
When I was 5 years old I tried to kill myself. I didn’t know what suicide was and I didn’t comprehend what I was doing, but I was so sad and felt like I just wanted to leave the situation that I was in.
The MEDIA and the INTERNET had nothing to do with my feelings. At that age, I didn’t even know what the internet was!
FLUFFELBUNZ Did you get help? That's not normal.
5 is pretty young to have those kind of feelings...but at least you're okay now right? regardless of your age?
I know what you mean. I never tried to kill myself but I was severely depressed when I was 4 years old. I would sleep away my days. My parents took me to different doctors for an entire year until they found one that finally diagnosed me correctly. I got help and recovered, went off my pills at 7. Was put in a special class the moment I started school so they could keep an eye on me all the way to grade 9. lol
Chicken Tamales when I was 8, i tried the same thing. I also cut parts of my lower torso. I didn’t know what self harm was. All I knew is that I wanted to be dead.
FLUFFELBUNZ 5?? you good bro? you got some help right?
This breaks me man. My 10 year old brother is gay. Imma reach out and just tell him I love him 😥
Please do this! it's all a family can really do for each other
That will mean so much to him.
Ask him about bullies as well and teach him coping mechanisms. Good luck. ☺️
And not only that you love him but there are people he hasn't even met that care for him and believe that he has place on this Earth.
My son was nine when he sort of "fell" out of the closet, eleven years ago now. I found out while cleaning his room and finding notes he had written (but never gave) to a boy in his class. When I brought the notes up to him, he was more scared about how I would react when I found out than he was by other people finding out. I accept my son as he is, I always have and always will. Being gay is just one part of who he is. I was afraid that once kids found out at school that he would face bullying, but he has been fortunate that he has always had a group of friends who stick up for him when he is not strong enough to do it himself. He is out and proud and keeps it moving when someone has something nasty to say to him. Maybe one day society will become more tolerant of each other and heartbreaking situations like this beautiful boy found himself in will no longer happen.
Back in elementary school around 25 years ago there was a sweet kid named David. He wasn't in my class and only knew him from small conversations we had about cartoons. David had the misfortune of being in the special needs class and kids were beyond cruel to him based on that and his mannerisms. Long story short, his dad was a sheriff so he borrowed a gun and killed himself one afternoon. They gave him an engraved bench by his favorite tree at the school.
The same kids and people who ignored his concerns and were quite horrible to him had the gall to show up for his impromptu memorial service at school. It made me sick enough and confused as a child I felt it was wrong to casually show up. Less than a week later nobody talked about it and that was the end of any conversation to be had about David at school.
For the record, this happened in the SF Bay Area, which was chock full of atheist/agnostic progressives even then.
You can still be a conservative atheist
Wotornot
Yeah man people can be such hypocritical and cruel assholes especially to people who have intellectual or behavioral differences. In my experience you also don't see as much outrage and things get swept under the rug and forgotten a lot more when they happen to individuals with those differences than other groups for as gung-ho as certain individuals are about fair treatment and anti-marginalization of vulnerable populations.
Dabilbo blakkins fair but this is San Francisco we’re talking about. While it’s still possible, in that area, as the writer implied, it’s much more likely that they’d be on the progressive end.
@@dabilboblakkins732 and you can still be a liberal bully.
@@kreneks0173 I come from a conservative background, but labeling people liberal or conservative doesn't change anything because a bully is still a bully.
I don't remember telling kids to kill themselves when I was 9. This situation is extremely shity in many ways.
kids be learning this stuff from teens and adults on the internet everybody think trolling is fun until it affect someone you love in real life smh it's only going to get worse from here
REPTAR
Yeah, and their parents. It's so surreal that we still don't have equality.
Yoda tbh in primary school there were some pretty fucked up shit said as jokes.
So many kids these days have the same access to the internet as the rest of us. Parents put an iphone in their hands to shut them up. Where we just watched disney channel theyre watching logan paul laughing at a hanging corpse or spiderman and elsa porn. Kids have to grow up so freaking fast these days. Its not fair on them and their parents have to take responsability for what their children see.
@1 people kill themselves all the time all he'd need to see is a news story, hear a class mate talking about someone they know, or the Internet. It is sadly not hard to find out
There is one thing a lot of people seem to be forgetting: Kids are generally assholes.
They equate anything that is strange or different with bad, and to an extent, that idea is reinforced by adults ("stranger danger").
If you are a kid and have a lisp, a limp, a wart on your face or even wear glasses, it is not strange that you will be singled out and/or excluded. This is not right or fair, but neither is it unexpected. Kids are by definition emotionally immature and still being socialized. Seriously, how many times as a parent or teacher have you had to have a conversation with a child that included the idea of "... would you like it if someone did that to you?". To an extent, empathy must be taught and nurtured. It is silly to expect an immature person to have and display a mature understanding and tolerance of differences.
I believe this boils down to a fundamental missunderstanding about the nature of reality. Those that believe that people are inherently good, that children are accepting and that hate or distrust of that which is different must be learned will be on one side; Those that believe that people are at best neither good nor bad but mostly selfish, that kids are fearful and that fear of the unknown is innate on the other.
Adding to this, children's brains aren't fully developed. The connections to the frontal lobe, which is where the capacity understanding and empathy are located, aren't complete until a person hits their 20's. This doesn't mean children aren't capable of empathy, but they have a much harder time acting and thinking with empathy in mind. This is another part of why teaching empathy at a young age is important, so they are better able to use it as their brain develops, and why it's easy for children to bully others without consideration or guilt.
Also do not forget terrible teachers who do nothing about it until something terrible happens.
I agree with you to an extent. I don't think every kid is an asshole. Sure, they might have trouble understanding new things, but there are plenty of kids who treat people with kindness and respect. I have a friend who is from Turkey but moved to America at a young age, so when she was in kindergarten she had trouble making friends. She was excluded from groups, bullied, or just ignored. However, the first day of class someone noticed she was sitting by herself after a long day of feeling out of place, so she sat down next to my friend. To this day, they're inseparable. Her friend hadn't been bullied and could relate to her, she just wanted to be friends with this stranger. That's just one example, but the point is not all kids are insensitive jerks. Plenty of them like to make friends and be nice!
No. Kids understand right from wrong. All you have to do is point out why they are wrong or Vice versa. They might understand it on a basic level. Yeah they aren’t fully developed and all that shit, but they understand who is bad and who is good. We all have a natural tendency to understand basic levels of good/bad. They just don’t understand empathy and that is why they bully.
In the same vein as that. This is a parenting fail. You know your kid is going to come out to the world and you failed to watch like a hawk? The first time my daughter rode a scooter I couldn't take my eyes off her. So you allowed your nine year old to run head first into a 4th-grade class and tell the world about himself? With no follow-up, no warning...just a sure everyone will love you. WHY. I told my ten year old with special needs the world sucks and people are mean, if stuff goes down I want to know. Every time anyone tells him mean shit...bam daddy bear it is. And not just fight the fight...but support. Kid told him he was "Poor" because he did not have enough video games...bam daddy bear built him an arcade machine...take that neighbor hood troll. (This is parrent life...)
I've wanted to die since age 7. Not wanting to be the butt of jokes, physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse....these things are not limited to adults. These kids hurt. I hurt years later. Kids are people, just smaller. I understood my place in society at an early age. I can't even say that it gets better, you just get used to it. That's the really screwed up part.
I feel like you're just trying to be edgy
@@okekarry Right, because emotional trauma is so in....It's called suicidal ideation. See your therapist for more details, or visit www.betterhelp dot com slash defranco.....
I understand and relate with you. It sucks and then you just keep moving forward and it still sucks, It really is screwed up.
@@Walkingthesand I doubt you wanted to die at age 7.
joseph Adeyemi You can't presume you know another person's demons and struggles. Given my own past, I see no reason to doubt her, and even if my scars didn't reach as far back as hers, it's still not your place to second guess her story. What reason would she have to exaggerate? This isn't /b/, not everyone on the internet has to lie or being a horrible monster to get attention.
He was just a child and it breaks my heart to know he suffered and felt less than because of some shitty kids. Kids can be so cruel and in my opinion parents need to step up and to teach their children to be kinder, more tolerant and excepting of other children. My niece is already being taught these things and she came home and proudly told us she had made a friend who was trans and that when people tried to pick on her friend she stood with her and fought back against the bullies. I pray that his family finds comfort and peace and so much love during this heartbreaking time.
It goes both ways. This mom should have taught her son that the world might not be as accepting to him as she is. "If I get nothing but love and praise from my mom for telling her that I'm gay what will happen when I do it at school?" Not what he expected I'm sure.
Lex Baldwin Exactly, the mother should have been aware of the outcome when sending her boy to school in girls clothes, the problem is 9 year olds can be cruel but the difference is that 9 year old or other little kids dont understand the consequence of their cruelty, they don't understand people kill themselves for said comments
No father, no emotional stability, mood swings, drama, bipolar via "nurture"
Exactly. Kids are cruel and emotionally honest. Single mothers don't present a realistic worldview to their children. Where's the father?
Lisa *it's not about shitty kids, it's about shitty parents* who just fail hands down in their duty to protect their kid, killing oneself is not even naturally easy, 9 years isn't even high school, how mean are the words of 9 year olds for suicide to THE solution, and what came to this kid's mind to open his mouth and speak about his sexuality or mind openly?
If he liked *eating gravel* , is he gonna go out and let the whole world know too and not expect to get feisty comments?
*Jeez just madness*
Now I'm crying before 8 a.m. looking at my 7 month-old son and worrying about his future. My heart goes out to Jamel's family.
Your son will be fine
Be your son's parent but also be his resource for help. Show he can go to you for anything without any backlash. Show that you'll always love him and will support him and will help him whenever he needs it.Joke answer: Keep him away from people. They suck.Real answer: The world sucks, we can only protect others so much but love and support them and show that you can be trusted with anything that concerns them.
Don't have fear in your heart we will never know what tomorrow brings. Don't let fear inhibit you shine your light as brightly as possible. Love to you, your family and Jamals family
Be a strong backbone for your son, someone he can depend on and come to whenever he is in discomfort. You will be fine ☺
Joyce Wible Jamel
I actually started crying watching this video. I mean, it breaks my heart that a NINE YEAR OLD CHILD felt as if the world would be better without him. When I was 15 I came out to my parents as bisexual and my mom was kind of confused but seemed to be accepting, however my father definitely was not.
My father is Indian and he said that I was a disgrace to the culture and to the family. My father has always been supportive of me, he took time off of work in order to bring me to gymnastics competitions, he didn't get mad when I told him I didn't want to continue gymnastics after spending 12 years training and competing, he gave me a hug when I told him I want to be a teacher and not a doctor. He had never made me feel as if I was unloved or that he was disappointed in me ever, until that day. We stopped talking and I ended up moving in with my aunt (his sister) because I felt so ashamed of myself. My dad had always been one of my favorite people in the entire world and he shut me out. So, I got really suicidal and one day tried to kill myself. My aunt brought me to the hospital and I was in a coma for a couple of weeks. When I woke up my dad was sitting there next to me, crying and holding my hand. He said he was so sorry and was just scared, but what scared him more was a life without me or my siblings.
I don't want this to be a sob story because it's not. My dad and I are closer than ever now, so it does get better. It's probably the most cliche thing to say but it does, I promise. I have lived it, I thought my life was over and that I couldn't stand the suffering anymore but I could, I did. Please if you need anything, reach out to someone, you can reach out to me if you want to. I'm here if anyone needs to talk.
Great Value Bleach pls ignore the troll
God damn man.. tears
I'm glad ur father came to u in the end. One of the worst things I'm is to lose family because u want to be more comfortable with your self and try to let others know it as well.
Your an idiot nowhere did it I say that he thought the world would be better without him not everyone commits suicide for that reason but your one of those people who just hears what they want to hear
seeing suicide in young children (if that is what happened here, sadly) is some of the most heart breaking news to me. it hits hard.
Rest Peacefully Jamel. You are loved so much
my first crush on a girl was in preschool, and it was instantaneous. I knew boys and girls liked each other because of tv.
I didn't know it till later, but my first crush on another boy was in kindergarten a year later. Even though I felt the same way towards him, I didn't realize what my feelings really were until I later learned that Oh, boys can like boys too.
So it's not anything sexual, it's feelings, emotion, things we feel from early ages.
This
Because of TV? right then.
Both of those times, those crushes were not real. One cannot crush until they reach puberty.
@@AndiLoveall That is disgusting. Kids cannot feel sexual attraction at that age, not until puberty.
Snorlaxation
it is called sexuality for a reason.
When I was younger, I did think you could choose to be gay or straight. Growing up in a Christian household that was something that I thought because I was making that choice. In elementary school there were girls I thought was cute as well as boys. I had to constantly tell myself “You can only think girls are cute”. Didn’t realize that wasn’t the case until high school when I talked about it to friends who didn’t think like that. Growing up bisexual in that environment with that mindset can mess you up. Luckily I had a good group of friends. I liked that you touched upon that in this video Phil.
I totally know that feeling. There's always the number one thing- "You've never thought like this before." "It's just a phase." I hate that. Drives me nuts.
My Christian household is different. Jesus teaches us to love everyone so i teach my kids to do the same no matter what.
I agree and I experienced a similar situation, I'm a gay man and I grew up in a very homophobic household and I had a crush on this boy that I repressed for years because in my mind at that time being gay was not okay and to this day my parents have no idea I've fallen in love with three separate guys and I can't share my experiences with my family (mom and dad is all I have) and we can't talk about it and have healthy conversations about my dating and my life because they would kick me out of the house. I can't be who I am at home and have to live basically a double life because I was told that being gay was wrong. It seriously fucks with your kids. Just be kind. How hard is it to just. Be. Kind?
Yeah I know that feeling. I am lucky they gave me this female middle name because, I have been cross-dressing since way younger than 6 (back home is a male and female name), I don't know, I felt it, but I also felt attracted to girls. You know what sucks the most? growing with secrets because your parents are homophobics and because your own dad swore to kill a son of his if he is gay and starting to feel hate because my mother beat the living hell out of me when she realized I was wearing her stuff I was just 15, I cut myself many times trying to "spill the gay blood" my dad even say he will stab a son of his until the gay blood is out. I did cut myself many times. Then growing up, learning I am bisexual, tell my family about the woman who broke my heart but not tell them about my boyfriend who taught me real love, and growing up hating my family mainly because I couldn't share with them when I was really happy for the first time and share now when I am happy for a second time with a wonderful woman who accepts all of me.
My theory is a lot of christians are bisexual and choose to be straight. Thats why so many say being gay is a choice
I learned about being gay when I was 4 when my Dad came out and moved in with his partner. I learned about suicide at 8 when my father killed himself. I learned I wasn't gay when I was 6 and had my first crush. Kids get crushes earlier than many folks like to think and, unsurprisingly, gay boys crush on other boys and there's a myriad number of ways a kid can learn about such mature subjects without being influenced by the media or by manipulative parents. So hows about we stop making assumptions and just give our condolences to a grieving mother and to said mother let me say my heart goes out to you as someone who suffered the heart wrenching tragedy of suicide and who was a first hand witness and, at times, victim to homophobic bullying. I hope the kids involved experience all the shame and regret due to them for this.
He wasnt attract3d to anyone at 4 it was his dad who was gay
You must have been a smart kid lmao. I was a dumb kid, my uncle was gay my whole life, I always thought he was just really close friends with his husband.
You do realize that these are kids right? We do lots of things at a young age that we don't see the full effect of. These kids are influenced by people around them. There isn't as much maliciousness as you think. If you want to blame someone blame the role models these kids look up to.
These stories about 6 year old crushes leave me perplexed. When I was 14, I was seeing couples forming around me, and I was thinking "look at all those kids playing grown up, prentending to be in love because they watch the adults do the same". Admittedly, I was a weird kid, I was a grumpy old man before I ever became a teenager...
But really, when I see someone under the age of 16 or so claiming they "love" someone, I can only think "No you don't. You don't even know what love is!"
No. The mom has herself to blame in part for not prepping her son to face cruelty. It's not only on the kids. I'd say it's mostly the bullies' parents and the dead kid's parent(s) who are culpable here.
DAY #20: We've decided to thank Phil everyday for his magnificent existence! Thank you DEMIGOD Phil!
6:15 As a Christian myself thank you Phil for defending those of us Christians who aren't filled with hate and intolerance in our hearts. There are many of us Christians who love and respect those of other sexualities just like Christ loved us. My heart aches for this poor child as, I was a victim of heavy bullying myself, and I am reminded how blessed I was to be strong enough to not let it overcome me. Jamel is with God now, where he will receive the love he so desperately needed. R.I.P. this charming, golden boy whose light was snuffed out by evil. May he find peace and happiness.
God bless Jamel and may he Rest In Peace. Amen 🙏
amen brother
The church I used to frequent had a guest speaker Tony Dungy and I was somewhat excited to hear him speak. After 10 minutes of him bashing gays and saying they are less than and will end up in hell my wife and I left. It's disgusting.
I'm curious...you say you were "Strong enough" to not let it get the best of you. Are you saying this child was weak? Because I imagine the bullying for him was on a whole different scale. Not to take away from what you experienced, however to throw that in there...
uweenukr that man is not a Christian. He may use the title, but he is wearing the Christian clothing to push his own views on others. God says that homosexuality is wrong. But the ultimate goal is bring people to Jesus, not condemn through harsh words.
I could get use to this morning show. I love your presence in my day.
On point today Phil! PREACH brother!
Ash I love you
Actually one of the biggest pieces of garbage he's the made. He and many others will have egg on their face when it turns out the mom killed the kid.
There are so many red flags it's ridiculous.
Clash Royale RUclipsr LoL
Love you ash
How do you know that?
Bullying will never go away no matter what we do, its sad but true
If my hypothetical child came out to me, we would need to have a conversation about bullying because it's unavoidable at that age. Wouldn't be a bad idea contact the school and let them know about it as well. What a world..
i'd say have a conversation about bullying regardless to be honest.
+C B I'd sign my kid up for Brazilian jiu jitsu so that he could knock some sense in the bully. And don't give me that bullshit about violence not being the answer; it's self defense.
This is genuinely heartbreaking...
Your statements at the end of the video are golden. Thank you philly. You are a straight up light.
100%! Amazing finale to this video!
A Christian can be against homosexuality, yet still support this poor boy’s family and speak out against the bullying that led to his death. What unites us as Christians is that we are ALL unworthy, ALL of us have things in our lives which keep us from getting to heaven on our own. It is God’s grace that saves us, and if a Christian is going to believe homosexuality is a sin, that should only strengthen the love, grace, and compassion they show to those who were born gay, to those who cannot help how they feel. Because none of us can help the way we feel. We are not saved by all the things we try to do to seem better than everyone else. We are saved by grace. My heart goes out to this child’s family, this poor mother will never get her son back because of the hatred thrown his way.
When I was in preschool, PRESCHOOL, I remember so vividly asking my teacher, what if boys married boys and girls married girls. Nobody had told me anything about homosexuality or anything like that, I was just a curious 3-4 year old that was just wondering about something that I had no idea actually happened. It doesn't matter what age you are, you're entitled to fall in love or have a crush or whatever with WHOMEVER YOU PLEASE! Age should have nothing to do with the fact that Jamel was gay. He should have been accepted regardless but he wasn't, and that's really sad that he couldn't. I know there's a place in heaven for him though. Praying for the family and friends that supported his decision that they'll get through this difficult time ❤️
Çerastes obviously that would never happen since the overwhelming majority of people are straight
Çerastes I would argue that everything is natural
Çerastes dude homosexuality is found in almost every species. Its a perfectly natrual small percent.
Danielle Hardy I’m confused by this. It DOES matter what age you are. Like...a lot. It’s literally not biologically possible to understand the ramifications of being gay or straight. Be it mental development (which in a 9 yo child is much lower than you would expect, like an elephant has the same), emotional development...because they are 9, and physical development of hormones. All these together would constitute a personal understanding of sexuality. I mean when transgenders from a young age change their minds on a 65%-80% basis (many studies listed here www.transgendertrend.com/children-change-minds/
You can vouch for the legitimacy of this site yourself hell if I know but I’ve seen the studies on other sights) this points backs up my relative common sense argument. Basically, I know kids are magical, but they are also dumb as shit and shouldn’t be making life altering decisions until they are fully developed. I am heartbroken for this family, but the issue itself is relatively straightforward to me as psychological analysis can go.
@@gc6422 Yes, it is possible. You under estimate kids now a days. They understand and know a lot more shit than you give them credit for.
The big problem with the world today is that bullying is only in the news when something like this happens it only happens when someone dies/kills themselves and then it’s shuffled under the rug as soon as it can until the next event happens, we need to keep the topic of bullying at the forefront all the time
SimpleCrisis That could fetishize it which could possibly lead to even more bullying. Because kids think shits cool on tv and some occasions it doesn’t matter what it is.
Put some cameras in the schools, monitor the students. Problem is, you can't put a camera in the bathroom. That's where the bullying took place, it was easy to get cornered in there.
Can you imagine how the backlash is impacting the mother? People are blaming her for letting her son on the internet, for letting media "shove homosexuality down his throat." Regardless of how or why he learned he was gay, he was proud of himself. This little boy had so much confidence and was ready to be loved. HE WAS NINE. Don't you dare make this about anything but what it was. Bullying. It was about bullying.
Kids shouldn't be on the internet tbh.
If anything all this says to me is that it should be talked about in schools at an early age. Better that the kids find out about it from an accurate source than from the internet.
Bullying is bad. But a parent setting their child up to be bullied is also bad. She could just as easily sat down with him and explained how real life works. Let him be free to dress how he wants at home and do his fingernails and whatnot. But going to school, it would be better if he just wore pants and shirts. Not to hide how he feels, but just to make his life easier until his classmates are mature enough to handle people being different. It could have been a phase he would have grown out of - doing it this way, would mean that he wouldn't face ridicule in the future for dressing like a girl in 4th grade. Or it would be something he'd grow more into being and in a few years, would be able to handle any bullying situations that came at him.
Kids are kids. They can't stop being kids.
AJ Dalbeck how is he proud and confident he killed himself.
In my opinion, you have to be a realist not an idealist. Ideally the kid can go to school and be themselves and face no adversity. But in reality the kid will face adversity for being different. parents need to be realistic with their kids and forewarn them that their differences may result in other kids looking/treating them differently. And give them advice how to handle these situations. That is the only realistic solution at present, because you wont change every kid and every parent influencing every kid so, it may suck and not be ideal but ya. People have been telling kids not to be bullies since school existed i imagine, its not an effective strategy
This abdicates others of their responsibilities though - yes be practical, yes know how to defend yourself, but you are entitled to expect other adults (parents of the bullies, the teachers, etc) to enforce that we act with basic human dignity including not doing shit like this. I had the living crap kicked out of me at school because of being from another country, I learned to hold my own against kids two or three years ahead of me in school, but that doesn't make it better. Pretending that you just have to assume everyone is an asshole without addressing the fact that they shouldn't be assholes is not a way forward.
FaithTheFallen but sometimes kids are like that cuz of their parents
parents are entitled to expect other adults will enforce that but that is a naive way to look at things, since adults aren't around every minute of the day. You got the living crap kicked out of you at school, was that in front of adults? Doubt it. It is a realistic way forward not an idealistic way forward, and I never said everyone, we are talking about a small portion of all people who are assholes. But it only takes one asshole to shit on everything
Basically you are saying that if the kid was "tougher" he would be alive, and that is something you DONT know. Its the same argument as "hurr durr just learn to defend yourself from bullies" thinking every girl or boy is the same. Some kids are more sensible, more kids are introverted and Will clam up when so many people are bullyng him.
This mindset is what needs to change, because there are SO many societies almost free from this kind of homophobic shit and bullyng, repeating over and over again that "life is like this, you all should adapt" is BULLSHIT and its nothing more than naturalizing violence.
I think the same, it's delusional to think that you will be accepted immediately when you deviate too much from the norm. Maybe you can introduce some little changes, but it has to be gradual and controlled process. And not with kids, only mature adults.
What? Phil being a decent parent by teaching his children tolerance and understanding? Get out of here with your good sense and and reasoning! s/
braxinIV its the other way around. * /s*
Lmao Jamel with a white mom, wonder where the dad is
Man... seeing him talk about being bi and how complicated it can be in our society. Jeez I love this man more everyday. Thank you so much
Treyola The crayola coming out at 9 is this what we value as a society?
@@TheEmanExperience you think being this much of a twat is?
If someone knows their orientation at a young age, does it really make sense to expect them to pretend otherwise for whatever number of years need to pass for others to have a better shot at accepting it?
@@TheEmanExperience "Focus on the Drug War, Not Immigration reform" Yeah... no. I won't listen to whatever shit you manage to spout. The War on Drugs is an utter failure that needs to be stopped for tax payers sake.
@@LatinaCreamQueen as a tax payer then id also like to stop government spending money on people who do illicit drugs. If they OD let em die where they are and rot.
Love the night time upload here in Australia! 🇦🇺
literally 11pm in NZ
It's bloody great!
@@courtneycarmen6645 nz ftw
@@courtneycarmen6645 Kiwi squad is here
Cait P. Haha same, in Britain the daytime show is uploaded at like 11 at night, this one is uploaded at 12 in the afternoon
I really appreciate having serious stories like this in a second video. It allows the story to have more space to breathe and more of a focus.
I almost NEVER comment on videos but I have to say this. The last few minutes of that video every single word PD spoke was absolutely 110% spot on! Thank you!!!! It had to be said!!
My wife and I are expecting our first child, a boy, this November and I am terrified about things like this. I don't want my boy harassed and bullied for who he loves, how he dresses, what he believes...the saddest part is, this isn't even a shocking story. What kind of world do we live in where children tell each other to kill themselves?!
My advice is to teach your kid to love others and himself, but also teach them to be strong, mentally and physically. Bullying happens and will always happen, so the only real solution is to provide the tools to deal with it. People stopped bullying me when i was young when i started swinging back.
Well, don’t send him to public school.
It’s because children are being exposed to adult issues much younger in life now, thanks to social media.
Social media will be the downfall of society.
Try your best to teach your child to be themselves, respect others for being themselves, and try to teach them to let things roll.
Tell him this:if anyone bullies you grab a bat and hit them until they stop twitching
I'm thing about having kids and I worry about this too! But I think Jasper is correct, teach your children love and compassion. Teach them to talk to you (and others) about feelings, its okay to have them but express them openly. And we as parents need to listen and love.
I didn’t hear about this story until I watched this video. My heart is broken for this family. This needs to change, bullying needs to stop ASAP it kills and damages people and families.
Welcome to the disgusting nature of the human condition. Bullying nature will always happen, unfortunately, and if you want to blame anything, blame religion for propping up legitimizing hatred of homosexuality throughout history.
Also children can be absolute monsters to each other. I was bullied constantly when I was in school to the point I became a misanthropist and laugh at the misery of modern society. If you want to save the human species, abolish religion, focus on environmental programs, re-educate people etc. But that's just me being somewhat hopeful that humanity might gets its shit together, which it never does.
What happens when ww3 breaks out and we have to give our kids guns and tell them to go kill people. There are evil people in this world. If they cant handle words, how are they going to handle real violence
As 8 years old I remember expressing suicidal thoughts. I didn't express as wanting death itself but wanting to cease to exist. Kids can figure this shit out. They're not stupid, just naive.
Resilience should be taught along side anti bullying campaigns. It goes hand in hand. You will never stop the evil in the world so while we combat it we must teach people how to deal with the evil they may face.
Thats a good point.
No, this is discrimination and it shouldn’t be tolerated.
You mean tolarnce not resilience because your saying we should resist gays and bullies in this message
I agree. If you break at every little thing, you'll never get anywhere in life. So whilst we fight towards trying our best to reduce bullying, we should also teach kids how to stay strong and hold their head high.
How is that saying we should resist gays? That is a stretch and a half. But i suppose you might not be the brightest tool in the shed so maybe you didn't get it. You're*, Tolerance*.
I might not be gay but I remember that around the 4th grade I too got bullied a lot, mostly because I had to switch schools and was an outsider but still, I feel like bullying is quite severe in that period of most peoples lives, some of my friends had a rough time during those early days as well, people just need to teach their kids how to behave.
I can't even imagine how or why american society has gotten to the point where so many have a story about being bullied or targetted at their schools. I live in South Africa, and am in what Americans would call their "Senior year" and I've never been bullied. We're a lot more accepting of diversity and inclusivity than the American schools are.
25 of the 30 of us in our class came through together from 1st grade and made it through to 12th. We have this odd feeling of almost being like a family. Many of the other classes and grades in my town share that with their own class. Always having been shown America as this great superpower where they're doing so much right in contrast with our country; and seeing the reality in stories like these is really eye opening. I'm really disappointed when seeing stories like this. We're capable of so much better 😟 😢
Bullying is almost always going to exist, fighting it something we should do and is a honourable cause but we really should teach kids how to deal with things when they are bullied. It's such a common phenomenon it's like trying to get kids at school to wash their hands before lunch. The world would be great if bullying was only in the history books but don't let the kids of today be unprepared for the act of bullying. Same goes for internet abuse, if you participate, you should be prepared to deal with rude people you're going to come across.
Ryan Tsui
Bullying can be eradicated, but it takes a lot of resources (money and educating teachers) and in general a lot of effort from school staff and the parents to educate kids of the negatives of bullying and to prevent bullying from happening. As a society, our greatest strength is surpassing our animalistic past and instincts and rising above our negative nature while still succeeding as a species. As someone who has been bullied, and someone who studied evolution and likes to look at modern society in the eyes of evolutionary psychology, i am baffled and i just fail to understand what are the positives of sexually inactive KIDS BULLYING OTHER KIDS in the eyes of evolution and how does that help the survival of our species. Or is bullying a more modern social construct? And if it is, then it could be even easier to eradicate it, due to it not being a part of our animalistic instincts. i mentioned "sexually inactive kids", because i understand showing physical and socioeconomic power in finding a potential partner in teenage years/adulthood, but kids should not resort to showing dominance and physical/socioeconomic power towards other kids unless there is something majorly wrong in their uprising.
Also i would like to add an another note, you mentioned how kids should be thought to deal with bullying, and while i agree, that kids should be exposed to some negativity in their childhood so they can learn how to deal with negativity in their adulthood. YOU FAIL TO REALISE that most bullied kids become ADULTS WITH WASTLY UNDERDEVELOPED SOCIAL INTERACTIONS due to them being social outcasts (that can't train their social interaction skills with other kids), and also learning to avoid social interactions with other kids/adults as a fear of engaging in another negative interaction (because being bullied is more than enough of a negative social interaction by itself). In the end you are left with BROKEN ADULTS (me, at the age of 23 and still no gf, cus fuck any and all negative interactions, i have had enough for 10 lifetimes! T_T), or SCHOOL SHOOTINGS (because you can't expect empathy or someone valuing life when all they know is suffering and see no way out from the HELL ON EARTH that is being bullied AF in school)!
I can relate to this kid so well I knew I was gay when I was in the 5th grade and people bullied me, my parents added to my self hatred literally all that keep me going was support online, please idc what you think of people who are gay please STOP BULLYING
I'm glad you're okay.
@FridaFan that's odd to me too, any other time details are posted but not this one.just have to wait and see I guess
@@IamMsUnique this guy is a bot spamming this same response to many comments. Don't try to interact with it, and certainly don't agree with it, that's a propaganda machine right there.
FridaFan dude your Just another copy cat can you bring your own argument to the table? Your just regurgitating what other people are saying without adding to it.
@@TheRealCaptainFreedom thanks 💫
Phil - I was uncertain at first, but I'm really enjoying the morning shows. I work overnights and listen to your regular show on the way to work at night and when leaving I have been listening to your morning show as well. Essentially you bookend my work day. Keep up the great work!!
Hi, yeah, as someone who was harassed and bullied before I even came out, this shit is disgusting. I was in middle/high school when I would recieve those dirty looks and homophobic jokes from my classmates, and thankfully I had the mental strength to just shrug it off. But, kids as young as 9 telling others to kill themselves is not unheard of. When I was hit by the car at the age of 7, I came back to hear that many students in my grade and above had actually wished that I had died in the accident. Age has no control over what kids know. This story is heartbreaking and I wish I could say there's going to be justice for this young boy, but knowing a public school system, this incident is going to be swept under a rug and forgotten. It's tragic, but it's the way we live.
im so sorry to hear how horrible people treated you. people who hate on others are just sad and pathetic and want attention and im glad you were strong enough to know they're not worth your time
MaxVlogsHere how do people get to hate on everything else, from loot boxes in video games to white men because of history.. yet we can’t be mean to one another? Fuck this..
I blame his parents. Got. 9 and 8 yr old, we talked about this shit. How words can’t harm us and we are in control of ONLY our actions.
Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words can not harm you.. unless it’s a 9yr old? Fuck that..
MaxVlogsHere bullies always exist. People who’ve been traumatized all the time makes the kid want to spill out hateful energy. No matter what people will do it.
Parent's words can only help so much. I don't mean to start anything negative here, but everyone react to words differently. To some, much like your kids, they can take your words more highly than peers, while some kids, like myself and this child here, the peers words can overpower and cut deeper than what parents can say. If that makes sense
William Charles Schneider maybe it’s not that, statistically gay people do this more often. Maybe this is ANOTHER reason to hope your children aren’t gay..
This whole story seems shity. Parent is not taking responsibility for her inaction in preparing her son for this lifestyle. Not the “gay” lifestyle but the “anything not popular” is bad lifestyle.
On the real, every parent who doesn’t talk to your kid about this shit, shouldn’t cry when it happens. Parents are setting children up to fail and blaming society.
school is a horrible place, full of vicious bastards that will do nothing but attempt to drag you into depression for their own amusement. When my grandma told me that school was going to be the best years of my life I actually contemplated ending it all right there because if life got worse after what I went through it wasn't worth living.
I'm both bisexual and mildly autistic, the diagnosis for the latter coming in about the same time as I came out and when this diagnosis was handed to my catholic school teachers they told my entire year group and then turned their backs when I turned up to classes bruised and bleeding, even downgrading me because my appearance wasn't satisfactory for class or downgrading me on my attendance if I went to the nurse's office to get it sorted out first.
bullying never stops and it gets worse with every generation, especially with the invention of social media. I can feel for this child, and for his mother, I know their pain and I just wish I could say it's going to get better, but I've lost hope in that.
Louthinator I don’t know why everyone says school is a terrible place there’s tons of gay kids at my school and there not treated differently
D3ATH
people say school is a terrible place when they've had terrible experiences with it.
~FruityCandy
it's also a testament to how cruel kids can be.
You didnt accept yourself so they bullied you at the same time you talking like a girly girl (a cultural thing so you cant use the genetic bs excuse thats the way i am which just isnt true) isn't funny and its weird so its not strange that they bullied you.
Latioswar showdown
I actually can't figure out what the hell you are even trying to say. I'm assuming you're an attempted troll in which case cool... not taking the bait though.
Not overly proud of this; but during my school days I’d physically fight people that were seen as bullies mostly cause I was picked on a lot. I really don’t like bullies.
I went to 21 different schools in three countries; there were always kids bullying or making fun of someone that was even remotely different.
Not saying that it’s right, just an observation that we all pick out someone who is different and treat them differently (whether or not we consciously do it). Once watched a documentary on chimpanzees, where a group killed another due to a physical difference (example in that it’s not just a human behaviour).
Kids can be brutally honest in their observations; and they can be very mean (yet sunshine and roses when adults/people with authority are around).
In an office setting of grown adults, they have pecking orders or classrooms at universities with peers.
So if adults can’t stop picking on each other, how the hell are we going to stop kids doing this?
Children are the cruelest people on the planet.
Me too man. I wasn't even tough. I just couldn't stand by while people were victimized.
*HellRay* because they lack empathy and don’t understand how they’re words and actions impact others. When you know those things and choose to ignore them that’s when you’re fucked up
Visual Arts by JR
Yeah, that really sucks to think about.
But thanks for beating up bullies. Trust me, it really helps out the victims.
you make a very valid point, im sure everyone has been on both sides of the bullying fence at one time or another... but that doesnt mean we should just shrug our shoulders and give up.
if bullying is driving someone to suicide then its going too far.
Many thanks Phil for all your understanding, kindness and your compassionate message
People grow up at different rates, just because at that age YOU personally didn’t understand sexuality doesn’t mean everyone else had the same experience. That kid should not have been told to kill himself by anyone, he was just a normal kid from what I know of the situation.
Also, the kid shouldn't have killed himself.
So 9 year olds can decide if they are gay/bi or whatever but if a pedophile says that the kid agreed to it its impossible? Like dont get me wrong i dont want to support pedos but this argument seems flawed to me. If they can decide the one thing why cant they decide the other?
Tecsy A can understand that they’re attracted to a certain sex, and they do so at different rates. That does not mean they have the capability to consent to a sexual act with an adult. That leap in logic doesn’t make sense
Tecsy Dude it shouldnt matter what they decide. If everyone wasnt so toxic that wouldnt be an issue. Pedos can actually harm the kid.
Pedophilia is PREDATORY. It's not CONSENSUAL love/happiness. And there's AGE OF CONSENT to consider. My god, people like to grasp at straws....
The administrators and teachers talk about treating everybody with respect and love but where were they when this bullying was going on why didn't they do anything to stop it it seems like they only get involved after the fact
Kermit night
The worst of this kind of thing happens in places where teachers aren’t.
Playgrounds, restrooms, etc.
Nobody really knows what happened except the bullies, the victim, and apathetic bystanders.
If the kid didn't even tell his mom do u think he told the teachers lol no , the teachers where as oblivious as the mom, Elementary teachers are a joke tho , they do suck ass.
Kermit night teachers are often in charge of 30 students over 6-8 class periods. Not to mention it sounds like this happened on the first day of school. So they hardly know the kid much less how they interact with others. So I personally don't think it's right to demonize the teachers.
It's almost impossible to supervise that many kids with so few staff, though. They can just about prevent fights and strangers wandering onto school property in most cases, but listening in on every whispered sentence? You're asking the impossible.
Kermit night welcome to the real world where it doesn’t care how you feel or identify with
I'm sorry, but I know the bullies are kids but please. Someone, give them reprecussions for their actions. Anything. No video games, no lunch money, even the smallest bit so these kids learn that BULLYING IS WRONG!
I don't want them to just be told everything's going to be okay, it's not. Please, the parents, teachers, faculties. Tell these kids that bullying is wrong, and that there are consequences for their actions.
No punishment for the faculties and schools that let it happen either... It's ridiculous.
Hopefully they've learned simply by realizing that what they've done literally made another kid kill himself.
I agree. They grew up thinking that this type of thing is ok and they can get away with it. Schools and staff maybe even police need to talk to them and take action because they will not learn
And punishment for whoever was watching the child, for allowing them the freedom/access to kill themselves.
If that were my child I’d tell them what their bullying contributed to. Fully explain how their words lead to a child taking his own life, that he will never grow up, have a job, see the world, meet someone he loves, have a family, celebrate another birthday or xmas etc in part because of what my kid did. They’d damn well know the gravity of what they did.
They wouldn’t be doing it again that’s for sure!
Phil! Just wanted to appreciate your pure sense of absolute justice for all! Wish there would be more people like you :)
I like that Phil said hes going to address this to his kids, as young as they are, because that's real important.
When little kids see someone different from them that they havent seen before, they're curious, and they point out "why are they different?", and we have to explain it to them. They dont do it because humans are born as bigots, science shows human being are born cautious instinctually.
Instinct says that different is dangerous or suspicious, that's why we need to make sure we change our culture to TEACH children that everyone is the same.
Instinc is in our dna but CULTURE is learned. And the culture of the past has been that someone who's different is strange, with a highlight on the fact that they're not like us. We explain that they're from a different place, but what if instead we just said "they look different on the outside, but they're the same inside". Separation from self is what minimizes empathy, and that's a big issue with the way people treat others.
Sorry for the rant, but yeah
merile i would like to see where you took the information that prejudice and verbal violence are instinctive and not cultural. Many south american tribes did not start confrontations with the europeans on the colonization era and it doesnt seem fair to point out victims of a society as colateral damage of the human nature. I could also argue that its really hard to discern instinct and culture since we analize it from within a culture. Kids learn to speak properly, to playtruments, other languages, math, to respect their parents. They can and should learn that maybe their """""instinct""""" isnt to be "trusted" as an acceptable form of action or else they will poop on their pants until they are 18
Explaining things to kids is so important, especially out in the world. If, for example, a kid points to a trans woman who isn't fully passing yet and asks their parents something along the lines of, "why is that boy in a dress?" and the parents just hush them & act embarrassed/ flustered (as is instinctual when your kid says something normally considered rude), they inadvertently teach their kid people who are different from the majority are wrong or taboo. If they calmly explain, "Well, she isn't actually a boy, she was born looking like a boy but on the inside she's a girl" and move on, it shows kids we can see people who are different and just accept it while teaching them a quick little thing about the world.
How much would you say the mom did to mitigate his uniqueness. I'd say she increased it. You are a fool if you expect society to change to your will; to not treat your child with cruelty for being different.
@@Rafael-fm3rf oh no, that's not what I'm saying at all. I mentioned that our culture has been to point out the differences in others which creates prejudice. My point is that instinct says "they're different" culture tells you what to do with that realization.
Most cultures are very ethnocentric, which harbors prejudice. We need to start fostering a culture of acceptance
merile i agree. Didn't mean to sound agressive or anything like that.
Times have changed and I personally believe that children these days are more conscious about stuffs like sexuality, general politics and actually are more exposed to the world via internet.
But why does the overall mentality of children remain unchanged? I mean the parents and teachers could do so much better at teaching children about acceptance and love. This story absolutely breaks my heart.
drawkcab Because bullied will bully anyone and anything who deviates from the norm. Had he not been gay but overweight, skinny, had bad teeth, a follower of religion A in a school that mostly has students with religion B, anything else, he would've gotten the same treatment.
Do you remember the first youtubers who were scared to come out?It always had to be an official annoucement 20+ minute video, because saying you were gay less than a decade ago was a HUGE deal. Still is, but newer youtubers can just now say hi I'm gay and that's that. No one bats an eye. Little kids now growing up didn't see those gay youtubers who were scared and hiding their sexuality. All they see are the ones now confident and I think that helps a lot of kids spit it out a lot sooner. Most of my gay friends said they realised it in elementary school or sooner, but they said they didn't feel safe revealing it yet. Too bad some parents are bad parents and raise shit kids
Mostly because there's a lot of bad parents out there who harbor very ingrained thoughts that they attempt to force upon their children, to have them think their ways. And when the child rejects it, the parent gets upset. And that's not even counting the amount of physical abused children who take out their frustrations with home life on someone at school.
As the saying goes that I don't, entirely believe but it's still very true in many cases:
The one who bully are often times really damaged themselves, and it's a way for them to make them feel better by taking out their frustrations on their target.
Kids don't really have the capacity to understand empathy so they say whatever because they have no filter. So anything they see as different they tend to mock and ridicule.
When I was growing up the teachers in my school could not give a shit about bullying. Kids bullying isn't just the problem, also teachers that don't in force anti bullying.
no one will read this You're absolutely right. It's wholeheartedly the teachers fault. I mean why are they not enforcing the anti-bullying policy? It's like who do they think they are? Its their fault we have school shootings too. In most cases all they do is buy class supplies, don't spend time with their own family because they're constantly at school or school functions, get bullied by those same kids both bullies and victims, buys students food or clothes, have their personal and professional property destroyed, AND try to actually teach hundreds of students year after year. How dare they also not take on the role of being the parent and making sure every child is held accountable and punished.
Maybe every teacher is not an A+ teacher who goes above and beyond and some probably shouldn't be in the system at all but is not their job to be professional and parent even though we try to be both. It's time the parents started caring a little more about what goes on during school and doing a little more discipline at home before it happens at school. Should the school respond better to claims of *insert typical shitty behavior of students* yes. But hell the school can't even say "Hey can you not wear that *insert revealing clothing" to school. It's not appropriate." without being crucified so why should they stick their necks out disciplining someone's precious little angel who could do no wrong and it must be the teacher who is out to get him.
Whole point is you can't place the blame on teachers who are worked thin and close to suicide as well because of those turd kids.
So true I can say the experience was the same at my school. Some "decent kids" can become a bully when they are around their classmates out of fear of being the odd man out or becoming the subject of the bullying. Kids want to be accepted the teachers need to make sure that the bully's are the odd man out. Its not funny to belittle anyone you never know what proverbial straw can break the camels back.
i still remember the "Bully free zone" bull crap posted on all the walls of my school. The part that made me scoff, that it implied that there WERE bully zone.
Guess what: That was exactly what happened.
I pity the kids now that social media is a thing, makes it too difficult to tell whats a joke or what is real.
A part of me says "this is our new norm" but another wants to say "fuck that"
I don't really know anymore
Exactly! My teachers helped the damned bullies. I had to fight my own fights. I dealt with the consequences but they were no where near what they are now. It's horrid that the teachers don't help or even ADD TO the bullying. My teacher in the 3rd grade cut my left hand so I couldn't write with it. She didn't like Left paws. She made sure I was not a left handed person when she was done with me. Can you IMAGINE what would happen today if she did that to someone?! We need to get RID of these fucking teachers who don't "see" bullying as a big deal.
Funny story, in kindergarten, I had 2 teacher/supervisors who actually bullied me more than any of the students. There was also this girl there who got bullied by them. She was usually the only one that I hung out with. What's sad is for some reason, i didn't end up telling my mom until almost 10 years later
This is why I so love and enjoy watching your shows, you use your mind and your heart to tell the stories of the world as it should be told. Thank you very much. You help me keep going. Blessed Be! with Love and hugz
You are a good man and father Phillip DeFranco. Thank you for covering this story and giving your important opinion.
I think he previously had a similar opinion to mine that he thought it was a bad idea to come out before college because kids can be assholes. It seems he's changed that opinion and would just throw his kid to the wolves if they ended up being anything other than straight. He can still love his kid while thinking smart about how he and his kid handles it. He is a good father and man, though. I just hope he didn't change that opinion too much.
I find it both baffling and disturbing that people seem to think that only straight children's declarations of self are valid. Why can a kid know from a young age that they are straight, but the moment a child says they aren't they're shut down and told that they're misunderstanding their own feelings or that they're confused? That's bullshit. Children know. I knew from the age of 5 or 6 that I was bi because I always had crushes on both boys and girls the same way that my cousin knew she was gay from the same age and my best friend knew he was straight. Like, it's not complicated and it's not uncommon.
It breaks my heart that people are blaming inclusive programming and inclusive culture for what happened due to the cruelty of OTHER CHILDREN. It's just an easy way to derail the conversation when it makes people too uncomfortable to admit that kids can be beyond cruel. Situations like this aren't even uncommon and you still have people denying it.
Okay, rant over. It just makes me so sad that this happened.
Frida fan is right this is all assumes with little evidence
@@gulafshankhan8273 frida fan is spamming the exact same response to many comments. You're being fooled by a bot most likely.
So 9 year olds can decide if they are gay/bi or whatever but if a pedophile says that the kid agreed to it its impossible? Like dont get me wrong i dont want to support pedos but this argument seems flawed to me. If they can decide the one thing why cant they decide the other?
T3RRORBULL still doesnt give an excuse TO BULLY A KID TO DEATH.
@FridaFan that's an odd way to respond to that. You're telling me that you're a loser who has nothing to do but spam comments with a copy/paste response. Are you capable of original thought over extended periods of time or do they arrive once every full moon?
So sad, I love how you pick stories that need to be heard
Shows that sometimes what needs to be heard isn't necessarily what people want to hear.
I appreciate you and your videos dude! The world needs more understanding and compassion and coming to your channel gives me hope for humanity. Keep doing what you're doing and spreading positivity! 🖤🖤
In the US, we have a culture where we don't care about stopping bullying. I've seen it so often. People will pass it off as, "It's just kids being kids." Think about this: You're a teacher and see a kid being bullied. If the kid punches the bully, who do you punish? From what I've seen, it's always the kid punching the bully who gets 100% of the trouble. That's not how it should be. We don't let kids fight back against bullying, but we preach that they should stand up for themselves. When a kid shoots up a school, we act surprised and just don't know what to do!
Simple solution: STOP BULLYING.
Words are just words. They only have the power that the listener give them.
Physically hitting someone causes actual damage that you cannot imagine away.
There is a difference and that's the reason the first one to throw a punch gets punished.
mark k "Words are just words" Oh come on, man. You know you're being intellectually dishonest. Harassment and bullying has a real effect on people. It's not easy for people to just ignore that kind of stuff. Stop being dumb.
Not at all exclusive to the USA. Kids are like that everywhere. Teachers who ignore it all are common everywhere too.
Cheers from Japan. 🍻
HatedAlways the problem is, that isn’t a simple solution. There is no way to truly eliminate bullying. It’s just a fact of life. As sad as it is, it’s the truth
Thank you
I knew I was gay when I was 7. It happens. I didn't use the internet, I just knew I liked girls, even though I didn't know the word for it. It happens. How he knew he was gay wasn't important.
The mom has pink hair yes it does
@Prince Nixon You're a troll.
Helen Ashbrook
I agree homosexuality is natural. The idea that all males and females should be paired 1:1 ratio is wrong. It's behavioral sink in response to overpopulation. Besides, not everyone needs to breed. I also, personally, don't care what consenting *adults* do in the bedroom. Not my business, don't care.
However, this kid was dressing up like a girl. Wore fake nails to school? At 9?? The mother caused his bullying and the lack of a father shows. This is the problem, not that the kid was gay. Of course, this is hard to comes to term with, so people will spin it as gaybashing.
Right? My friends an I all had crushes at that age. We were all straight, but I don't see why it would be different for gay people.
Yes. It's entirely his fault for daring to dress outside of social norms. The children who bullied him were entirely in the right to do so. How dare his mother allow her child to dress the way he wants to. I'm quite glad we have you here to clear that up for us. The lesson to learn here is that you should never stand out at all, and be completely what society expects you to be, not that we need to address bullying in schools. /sarcasm
You know...reading some reactions here. I am just done with the internet for today. People questions why he has these feelings or how he would to end his own life. You know kids have feelings too, they are not just little humans you upgrade at a certain age with the possibility to have feelings. And other kids can be incredibly vicious. And yeah it can be incredibly taxing for a kid that age. I speak out of my own experience. It still scars me till this day. People just...a kid of 9 years old is dead, I just can't even...not today
Honestly, youtube comments especially those on this show are usually filled with hate and blame. I have to remind myself to avoid reading what people post when it's a sensitive situation like this, because I begin to lose faith in humanity. Just remember that the people commenting usually do so because they have extremely strong opinions that they feel they have to get out there. Most people just like and don't leave a comment. It's often the extremists that feel the need to rant.
Yeah. Honestly idc if he knew he was Gay or not HE WAS BULLIED TO DEATH
@@sarahcb3142 it's sad to me that ppl ever think they'll have faith in humanity. There is no such thing and until individuals start to realize that, there will always be a sadness within them.
If you want to prevent another 9 year old for comitting suicide for the same reason, then you need to pay attention to the comment section because that's where you'll find what's wrong with the world and what needs to change.
Lmao Jamel with a white mom, wonder where the dad is
Phil, you show and prove your inherent value by taking the time and effort to love and care for others by spreading such a wonderful message
I don't know how many young teens watch Phil, but know that it WILL get better the older you are. When you're older you can go to meetups and join clubs where everyone is like you in one way or another, and you will be accepted. Sure, there are rotten people in the gay community as well, but you can find your own little gay family of lgbt friends and suddenly, no matter how hostile the rest of the world might be, it doesn't matter as much because you can feel that you are appreciated and loved just the way you are.
It was hard for me in school, because when you're younger, you're stuffed into a classroom with a random selection of people and that feels like your whole world. But it's not. Your lgbtq family is already out there, struggling just like you, you just need to find each other.
We love you just the way you are.
Or you get older and those people now have access to guns. Or cars to drag you with. Sorry it's just even as a gay person that whole "it gets better" thing is absolute dogshit.
@@rosenrot234 i think it means "it get better" for you. You will learn to ignore the bullies, or find ways of coping with them. You will find other lgbt+ members and you won't feel alone, yes the guns amd the car draging exist but in the western world that's a rarity. And it not like people celebrate when that happens. "It gets better" because the more comfortable you are and the more you learn about yourself the less impact the bullies should have. Its not gonna go away but you will become stronger for it. That's just my opinion.
@@rosenrot234 if you learn to live in fear of them then it won't get better. And im sorry you feel like that
@@rosenrot234 any of us can die at any moment. It's up to you if you decide to concentrate on the negative stuff. We can't fully prevent the violence, so why not do everything you can to prevent it and move on. I'd rather focus on the things I can affect; actively seeking healthy social circles and putting myself in situations where I feel good and safe.
I did not say "it gets better no matter what you do".
What I mean is that when you get older, *you can make it better for yourself.*
@@lunateec8060 I would suggest you talk to someone professional about your problems as it could help. Also something that helped to motivate me was the idea of proving them wrong.
When I was at school I was overweight, outcast, liked games, anime and was smart. Pretty much the perfect target for bullies. Now I'm losing weight and I am getting ready for university doing something I love (game design) and now when I occasionally go to McDonald's with my friends I see some of them working there as they barley even had the results to get into college. I look back on it now that yes they may have made my life hell but now they are going to be stuck in dead end jobs for the rest of their life doing something they hate.
School is literally the main place where a child can get bullied. So why aren't parents both preparing their kids to not be bullies and also prepare their kids for the inevitable bullying they will probably receive. Parent's seem super ignorant to thinking school is some safe place.
I think the principle of Jamel's school needs to walk into his homeroom class and tell them flat out that his loss is in fact their fault for their bullying and that they have to live with this for the rest of their lives
It's the mom's fault for not preparing him to face cruelty in the world. He could only be an outcast because that's how she taught him to be.
I'm all for holding people accountable, but blaming the children leads no where. The principle will get fired for what she said, most of the children had nothing to do with it and the ones who bullied wouldn't care. The parents of these children are responsible.
Parents and schools also need to punish the bullies. Every day those little shits get off scot free because of how lax our school system is on bullies, and it is extremely lax. Parents should prepare their kids for bullies, yes, because the world is always going to have hate. But they also need to jerk their little brats up when they bully other kids and make them see that there will be repercussions for their actions.
And maybe it's cruel but I absolutely agree with you that those kids need to be told what they've done. They want to tell people to kill themselves, they should see the consequences. I don't give a fuck that they're 9, Jamel was 9 too. And he's dead. And those kids need to realize that it's their fault and they should have to live with that.
MIke Allen, it is entirely possible that the story the mother is throwing at us, is a LIE. It is possible it is true but having been around people like her (yes I can see exactly what kind of person she is) I know they push their opinion and care for NO ONE but themselves, they don't care for their children, they don't care for family, friends, parents ANYTHING.
A lot of times the kids who are cruel at school have cruel parents, or even parents who encourage that type of behavior in some misguided belief that toxic masculinity will protect them and propel them in the world.
I knew I was gay before I even knew what homosexuality was (didn't find out what "gay" meant until 6th grade). It's so weird that we're being told that a nine-year-old committed suicide and people choose to focus on how said nine-year-old knew about sexual orientation. Do we need to repeat to these people a nine-year-old was bullied into suicide over and over until it finally registers with them the problem with this picture? Jamey Rodomeyer, a kid, committed suicide years ago for being bullied because he was gay. This suicide was met with the same response as Jamel Myles' suicide, with some making videos being more distraught over our culture "promoting homosexuality to young kids." To make the story worse, you had people at Jamey's school antagonizing his family, even going so far to chant "GLAD HE'S DEAD" at a school dance that held a short memorial for him, even when his sister was standing right there hearing all of this. If you're gay, you're gay; you usually find this out at Jamel's and Jamey's age just like straight kids find out that they're straight. I mean, hell. I'll reiterate that I knew I was gay when I was a kid and that was back in the late 90s when being gay could get you beaten and possibly killed, having no support from family, friends, media, etc. The people getting more angry about some kid identifying as gay than they are about the kid killing themselves are ridiculous, sad, and beyond hope.
Expose Nation damn shut up you dank meme cancer goddamn lol
Expose Nation when you know you're wrong and all you can do is angrily type a homophobic slur because you refuse to change your worldview
I don't know. I think people are overly sexually preoccupied and that extends to the straight kids. i'd quote marlene dietrich "In America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it's a fact.". I think making sexuality tremendously fucking important at a young age can be a mistake. Elsewhere it could have consequences of self objectification absent any inkling of understanding oneself. And I recall at least one news story where kids at daycare attempted to act out something they'd seen in xxx pornography.
As to knowing, I didn't in any capacity. You wonder about the nature of your emotional connections with your friends. You wonder if you're just acting out programming. You assume you have all manner of illicit desires that you need to repress. And then you hit adolescence and the confusion doesn't become less profound. I don't know. Maybe other people feel less artificial than I do.
He is 9... what his sexuality is shouldn't even enter his mind at that age. PERIOD. His parents encouraged it, instead of having a normal childhood, they wanted their kid to be a "special snowflake", and it caused him to get bullied.
Cause and effect. It's a scientific term. Cause: Parent's encourage their child, who is only 9 freaking years old... to "be gay" instead of worrying about normal child things... Effect: Kid gets bullied into suicide.
Parents letting the internet and tv rule over their kids instead of taking care of their children like responsible parents. Then, when the kid, who is only 9, commits suicide, they look to blame everyone else but themselves for not watching over their children. It is quite stupid. The whole situation could have been avoided if the parents knew how to... gee, I don't know... parent their children and took better care of them. He wouldn't have been bullied if his parents put a stop to the "I am only 9 and think I am gay" stuff.
Deppfan I had a girlfriend when I was younger than 9, I just didn't knew it at the moment.
We were just really close friends and it wasn't a secret relationship, because the whole school and ours families knew how close we were.
I was bullied for a long time when I was in school and since then I've tried to kill myself twice I have extreme social anxiety and depression and I am a straight white guy kids are cruel in generally they find ways to pick apart every little thing about you and for someone like Jamel it must have been even harder someone with the courage to wear their differences on their selves and just live their life in a way that makes them happy. the hardest thing I think about this situation is that it won't stop that's not to say that we shouldn't try to make a difference but I don't think that we will ever deal with bullying in a meaningful way and the only way to get through that when you're in Jamel's position is to have people like his mum and sister and friends you know don't care that you're different they still care about you anyway and that you know will always be there when it counts most
Thank you for pointing out Jamel's courage, because what he did WAS courageous in a world that damns you for being different.
Maybe this world has made me jaded but I'm getting all kinds of red flags and a weird feeling in my stomach about the mother. I hope I'm wrong.
Chris Thompson same. This is fishy
Chris Thompson Definitely off. Four days for him to kill himself? I've had days back then where I wanted to kill myself, but there was always something that kept me from doing it.
Yeah, I hate to be _that_ skeptic, but if he was having such a hard time and yet had such a loving supportive mother, why didn't he tell her what was going on?
Yeah I was gonna comment this but then I saw yours. How did she not notice. Someone doesn't go from fine to suicidal in 4 days, there had to be something else or something pre-existing, like troubles at home or maybe he was being bullied in other areas of his life. I don't know.
Sydney Travis cuz that doesn’t always happen. Tons of suicides with kids of loving parents and kids kill themselves anyway.
I don't care what you know or what you don't know but when I was brought up I was taught the "golden rule" wich is "do on to others as you wish to be done apon you"
I'm not even christian anymore, but that is one of the rules I held onto, for sure.
What if I want bullied?
The problem is that most people, children especially don't know how they want to be treated. They don't understand that they want people to be kind, listen, and have structured rules. Even if they understand that much, they most likely don't know how to emulate those qualities either because they weren't born with them hardwired or because they may not see their parents acting that way. The golden rule is just annoying poppycock to people who can barely even understand a language.
I grew up Christian and slowly got away from it, but the golden rule has always ruled my life and even after It wasn't about religion, I still believe in Karma... and karna is based on the golden rule principle
Even as an atheist I hold on to this rule and think everybody should to, its been utterly neglected in the modern day.
Everyone is spending a lot of time talking about Jamel's death and I'm not arguing with that. The death of a nine year old under any circumstances is a tragedy. However, what about the kids that told him to kill himself? The only way to prevent something like this from happening again is to reach out to those kids, and others like them, and make it our mission in life for them to accept people as they are.
But the reality is no one in this world truly accepts everything about an individual.
Children names are protected by law until they reach a certain age. We can assume that the school is doing something about it or the students who know who bullied him might outcast them but I don’t think it will legally be released.
There's been no evidence given that kids bullied him or told him to kill himself. I'm betting his mom killed him.
Bullying is been going on for a long time my friend and is going to keep on going...maybe we as parents need to teach our kids that the world isn’t perfect and stop raising victims and prepare our kids for reality and then maybe kids would stop killing them selfs....in our society today everything bothers people u tell someone o I don’t like your hair and they feel like they need to die if you cannot take on words and develop thicker skin then maybe Darwin theory of evolution is 110% right only the strong will survive....it super sad that a kid feels like he has to die for people’s comments but we need to teach them that the world is a cruel place
I am not saying that bullies should be faced with suicide to learn their lesson; however if they do not learn that it is wrong to bully because of this event, they will never stop.
I am more concerned that a nine year old boy knew how to kill himself. Its rather disturbing that he wanted and could fulfill his death wish.