#1 Narcissism Expert: The Harsh Reality Of Toxic People & Setting Boundaries | Dr. Ramani Durvasula
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- Today we are joined by clinical psychologist and narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula. Dr. Ramani unpacks narcissistic personality disorder, defining types of narcissism, how it’s diagnosed, and where this originates. She shares the implications of the extreme side of this disorder, discussing the dark reality of narcissistic abuse in relationships, love-bombing, triangulation, and gas-lighting. She provides advice for anyone stuck in a cycle of abuse or supporting a friend through this process. She reveals the sad truth of abuse: that most people never change.
This is a great episode for anyone wanting to better understand this disorder and get out of a cycle of abuse.
André's Book Recommendations: www.knowthyself.one/books
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Timecodes:
0:00 Intro
1:54 Defining & Identifying Narcissism
6:59 Why This Develops in People
10:20 Different Types of Narcissism
13:59 How Our Society Rewards Narcissism
15:36 How Certain Types Develop
19:16 At What Age Narcissism Begins
21:40 The Internal Reality of a Narcissist
25:45 Common Traits of Narcissistic Abuse
31:38 Why Love Bombing is Toxic
37:09 The True Meaning of Gaslighting
41:18 Triangulation & Cycles of Manipulation
42:40 When Self Esteem Becomes Too Much
47:14 Cultural Distinctions & Healing Family Trauma
52:18 Breaking Free of a Narcissistic Relationship
1:01:11 Will They Ever Change?
1:04:29 Is It You?
1:10:57 Supporting a Friend in an Abusive Relationship
1:14:45 Becoming Aware of Your Own Narcissism
1:19:28 The Sad Reality of Being a Narcissist
1:22:00 Spiritual Narcissism
1:28:07 Final Thoughts
1:35:34 Conclusion
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Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is an author of several books including Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, and “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. The focus of Dr. Durvasula’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations. Her work has been featured at SXSW, TEDx, Red Table Talk, the Today Show, and Investigation Discovery. You can also find her on RUclips where she has accumulated millions of views on her videos discussing narcissism on her successful channel, and on social media @DoctorRamani. Now she will be adding the role of host to her resume as she launches her new podcast, Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani, a show that focuses on narcissism and its impact on relationships.
Website: doctor-ramani.com
Pre-Order “It’s Not You”: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo...
Instagram: / doctorramani
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Know Thyself
Instagram: / knowthyself
Website: www.knowthyself.one
Clips Channel: / @knowthyselfpodcast
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André Duqum
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Meraki Media
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This woman is a gift to the world.
My thoughts exactly! She’s fighting the good fight
Yes thats why we indians are great ❤..Jai sree ram
Like seriously, protect her at all costs
Dr. Ramani is one of the most intelligent and compassionate psychologists working in the field today. 💙
Yes- Preach it! 🙌🏼
I don’t trust her.. but I still listen to her bc I want to learn.
Man she really is something, huh? I just made a comment saying the best thing you said too. You mix higher education with passion and you’ve got one heck of a doctor. I trust women more than I trust my family doctor 😂
@@XxxX-wx3eryou don’t trust her? Why do you need to trust her?
“Another human being is not meant to be a…pacifier or……a punching bag…” -Dr. Ramani Durvasala……..snap! 😮!
Amen to that! We were created God and God is Love. We are here on this earth to love and be loved. To be loved is our birthright. If someone is abusive not loving us properly then we must leave them and never look back.
Today I just ended a friendship with a person who definitely has a narcissistic personality disorder and who constantly violated my boundaries even when I made those boundaries very clear to him. I gave him numerous chances to not to continue to do this but it continued until it got unbearable. If something like that ever happens again it will be three strikes and you are out of my life. My advice is don’t put up with this type of dysfunctional behavior as it will just get worse, it’s either shape up or ship out!
Something similar happened to me recently. Thanks for writing such a clear comment
Correct 😊.
It's tempting to give chances, again and again! 3 strikes is an excellent compromise!
Glad you ended the friendship ✂
Just ended a friendship w a neighbor / friend of 30 yrs .. after she retired she would stalk me … and lived 50 ft from me ..
They can’t shape up just move on
The way she articulates herself sounds like someone who has a complete mastery of psychology.
no one has mastery of anything as yet
Dr. Ramani is the best there is! We are so lucky to have her work and wisdom shared with the world!
AMEN!
I am cautious with people who r too nice - especially when it feels like an act.
I agree. I used to know somebody who would always start her messages to me with over the top adjectives as if to flatter me. She was buttering me up ready to call in a favour. Too sickly sweet ‘nice’ and I’m glad she’s no longer in my life.
Give up the hope of reconciliation with them. You do not miss them, but rather the idea of them. Liberate yourself by letting hope die.
Yeah I get it I've struggled struggle for over 40 years cause it's my mom though Does an excuse but It's just really hard But not as hard as what I go through by myself I left it 15I've done this I've done that blah blah blah I don't know what I did was the problem I've learned a lot though and I still care about I've learned a lot though and I still care about people I really do I really Jim very humble I've learned a lot though and I still care about people I really do I really Jim very I've learned a lot though and I still care about people I really do I really do very humble I think that it's you know people to stand up Each other loves ourselves it's OK to make mistakes
It amazes me how these type people are able to keep finding and damaging so many folks.
It does not surprise me at all. Narcs appear to be really charming and charismatic when you meet them. They keep the act up until they have you sucked in.
Doesn't surprise me. They're always out trying to latch on to anyone, so as soon as you get away, there's a new friend lined up - who thinks they're charming and lovely.
Me too
They are in the beginning everything one would want. Because of this information we are learning & healing.
Hopefully there will be a generation that will recognize this personality style
I have deep gratitude for Dr. Ramani. I don't know so many people as good and widely impactful in what they do as she is. She definitely made a positive impression on me and transformed my experience of relationships for the better. Thank you for featuring her. ❤🙏
Same, Merry Mer! You said it well. 👍
Me too. She really saved my sanity
I'm glad to learn about variations of narcissists like covert, vulnerable, communal and malignant. I think covert or vulnerable narcissists are more dangerous than overt ones because they act stealthy. 😮 They are exactly a wolf in sheep's clothing. They look charming in front of people, but they abuse you behind the closed doors. 🚪
That is true. 😕.
+1 it always takes longer to identify the coverts… and speaking for myself, I can say with confidence that they definitely have caused much, much greater damage and trauma in my personal and professional life than the overts-because 1. I stupidly gave them the benefit of the doubt for so long before I knew to #run 2. Most people do not see their narcissistic side, bc they hide it so well… playing the victim with their flying monkeys and anyone who asks, while running super stealth, creepy, damaging, long-term smear campaigns in your back 🏃 ewww
Agreed!! They are very dangerous as they hide themselves well
My exact dialogue yes 🙌 you took the words right out of my mouth yes they are very stealth
Divorce from one….
When your awake, you don't allow more. Tolerating and thinking you are a good/kind person for allowing room for more, then you are part of the problem. You definitely don't help by accepting it, you are condoning it. Strike one, your out, not strike three. You get what you settle for.......
I heard once, the one difference between narcissism and every other disorder, it's the only one where the victim ends up in therapy. I'm in 4th one in a row, and up until now, never knew what it was. I'm just so exhausted and will never trust again. Thanks for all the insight to help with my healing,if ever.
never say never, life is a journey and we don't know the destination.
So true that we lose Trust. HOWEVER, NOW I CAN SPOT NDPs at their first MOnologue . toxic people r stuck as teens or toddlers _ phonies & actors/tresses.
racism as well
@@dianedeclare8541exactly 💯, actors especially🤨
Please leave room for genuine, kind people who may cross your path. Keep positive and be kind to yourself. 👌
"Mental health IS flexibility...The awareness of others, the capacity of engaging, empathy, intimacy, self-awareness : that's the core of health. And that's absent from a person with narcissism"
Yeah, most NPDs will never, ever walk into a mental health professional's office. Never. I was raised by a malignant narcissist and married a grandiose narcissist. Both were very, very harmful people to me. I am glad both of them are out of my life. It's taking me years and thousands of dollars to even start recovering from those relationships. Neither one would ever condescend to go to therapy.
If only you knew of all things how he could not change!
Knowledge is powerful I feel for you have done the same !
Dr. R. And Dr. L. Carter have saved my life. I am post 2 yrs out of a Narcissist Relationship and his family cult system. Have a good understanding of Narcissism now. I have first forgiven myself and then the narcissist and family. I am so grateful for my freedom and good health and having absolutely no contact with them all. Starting I very has been hard but doable. Thank you Dr. R. FOR YOUR WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE.
I LOVE this woman. She is a true Hero. A true Champion in educating people on these toxic entities. Thankyou!!!🙏🙏🙏💙
saved millions of lives
Omg this is awesome!! I found Dr. Ramani when I was trying to come to terms with my own malignant situation 5 years ago 🙏🏽🥹 the clarity she provided SAVED ME AND MY SONS LIFE!!! ON GOD!!!!! Every time I wanted to make excuses and see the "better elements" I swear she would upload a message straight to my heart. She helped make things so clear, make so much sense. 😆 I'm friggin tickled to see her here!! 😍😍😍
I could have been the one writing this exact comment ❤😊
I’ve listened to Dr Ramani on you tube for awhile she has helped me how to handle my boundaries with narcissists in my life…grey rocking works “ …thank you for this interview
I just want to thank you Andre for taking the time to express so much compassion for the kids who got cut off from there creative self’s. I’m 27 and just now learning how beautiful it is to be creative and to express yourself as your own unique person.
I began learning about my creative self at 27 too!! Good luck on your journey ✨
I agree just always to I agree just always too scared cause it didn't come out all beautiful like in my head and the thoughts but yeah I totally agree I agree just always too scared cause it didn't come out all beautiful like in my head and the thoughts but yeah I totally agree
This information is so important for those of us who have been in intimate relationships with Narcissist as you could feel at times like you are loosing it, it’s such a difficult cycle to break, I feel for those who are going through it, sending them love and strength to break from such a debilitating situation. Proud of us who managed to get out and are doing the work to come back to self and remember who we are 🙏🏽💕✨
Such a sweet comment, thank you for posting it ✌🏼🕊️♾️💕
This is my day 1 I'm gonna run for my life from my mother From Oregon hopefully get to Long Beach I just Need to save my life
If they’re narcissistic after listening to her you’ll just know yes they’re !!! There’s no doubt !! I always knew these set of traits but never knew it had a name ! Thank you dr ramini for being life savior to sooo many of us ❤
Dr. Ramani, I’ve been an RN for 14 years and worked alongside plenty of doctors. You’re a really special doctor. Somehow, you’ve mastered the art of communicating and not sounding arrogant in any way. Your passion for this topic SHINES and it draws in quite a lovely target audience. I’ve watched you for years, take care!
Dr Ramani saved me, for real.
I've been a narcissist within my current relationship and it's perfect timing to have seen this episode. I've been confronted with a way of being in the world which doesn't serve me or the people I love and care about. I encourage people who can relate to make changes as I disagree with the notion that change for a narcissist is only something afforded to rare cases.
You are not a narc if you can recognise and change bad behaviour in yourself
@@robinantonio8870absolutely disagree. It’s not a set in stone death sentence to be narcissistic. It’s a spectrum. They talked about that right in the beginning. Someone can absolutely recognize their narcissism and address it.
It might be trickier to spot in oneself than most things, but it’s not impossible by any means
@@Venus_Beaver well science doesn't agree with you
@@Venus_BeaverAbsolutely true. With God anyone can heal. Narcissism is trauma and that can heal.
I recently recognized my narcissism and slowly have been making changes. I'm trying to be mindful and more aware. I don't want to hurt people anymore.
This is one of the best Dr Ramani interviews I have seen. Hoping the algorithm picks it up so you get the views you deserve 🙌
My father and ex are narcissistic... when you meet a really one you will know beyond a shadow of doubt.
Healing from these relationships is long and hard x
I married a narcissist being a empath. STILL LEARNING TO DEAL WITH THIS.
still married? I have a very out there theory about how to "help narcissists", based on my little research their biggest problem is shame, they do everything to avoid feeling shame, but if you could express your own shame and make shame an okay emotion to have as a human, maybe that can influence them to change their view on shame and learn to process it, instead of suppressing it and taking it out on others. ofc few people are comfortable with shame, so this would probably be a hard thing to take on and require immense inner work and patience, but just bc society tells us not to feel shame, I don't see why that means it can't be a valid part of the human experience. sorry if this made no sense, I guess I'm just practicing how to summarize it and explain it and I have no idea if this was sufficient.
I think that a person who has empathy can express their own shame or take resposibility with different degrees. The problem is that a narcissist does not care. I can't see my ex having been in touch with his shame he would rather be seen as the victim. I wish it was something fixable.@@rongike
From my own experiences with surviving Narcissistic Abuse ( Domestic Violence) I have learned, that trauma bonding ( part of the cycle of abuse) 😔 is what caused me to stay in toxic and abusive relationships. I don't believe, it's helpful, but very important to not share it with a narcissistic person, (incidents of there or your own feelings of shame.) ” Being open and honest and sharing is intimate and healthy to do in healthy relationships. But , if you overshare feelings with a narcissist, they eventually will use it against you. Through their gas lighting and projection , triangulation, and smear campaigns. Nothing you can do or say will change them. Nothing!! Opening yourself up and trusting them with your feelings will only create more pain for the person helping. I would highly suggest a few close friends to share feelings with. Coming out of denial and realizing the decades of my unmet needs and trying harder and harder to receive and give unconditional love is like going to a well , drawing up water and there is no water cause .... There's a hole in the bucket. Trying to get fresh water is insanity!! 😢 You can try over and over ... But the result will be the same! They have no love to give. Never had it in them. Hope this is of help to someone. Words of wisdom. I'm Grateful , for this beautiful interview. Thank you.
Ramani Durvasala has provided me with such great help in a confusing time. Eye opening and connected a lot of dots for me. Thank you Dr
I’m apart of the few where she says it’s too much. I worked HARD for YEARS! Had an AMAZING therapist, and have actively changed my mindset internally, then to the outside world. I changed EVERYTHING, and it was worth it. It is possible, but I can tell you I only did it because of a psychedelic medicine, that woke me up. I would not have done it without. Change is possible if ITS WANTED. It’s hard to see your faults but it’s so worth it for who you become!!
Once again, thank you Dr. Ramani. I´ve "followed" you for years (in a non-creepy way) You have helped med more than you can imagine.
Brilliant woman..she nails this topic that is so severe and harmful to anyone who holds his psyche into normality.....so special..dharmic lady! Such an amount of eloquence and wisdom.
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING AWARENESS TO THIS TOPIC!! IT IS SOOO NEEDED RIGHT NOW!!!♡♡♡
I’m listening and really hoping the non typical narcissists will be discussed. The wounded and or introverted covert narcissists that can really confuse people and how this hidden aspect can be so dangerous towards even more self blame or losing self without realizing what’s happening as clearly.
Can't agree more.
Several years ago I had an epiphany, that everyone thinks the same way, that is your brain operates with electrical impulses and chemicals, just like mine, just like everyone. Everyone does what they do for a reason, our brains are more like calculators than we may care to admit, and that really the only chance we have at free will, is to understand why we make the decisions that we make.
I'm grateful for the people i had around me in my early childhood. Most of them "teached" me to be the way I am, they teached me that I am loved and respected with all my aspects, they gave my time and space to think and adjust to certain things. This way I learned to love myself, to take care of my inner child.
This woman is a godsend for anyone waking up to the reality of how they’ve been treated.
EMPATHY is the ability to feel, read and receive the Energy, Information or Frequencies in the environment. NARCISSISM is the ability to block or filter them. BOTH abilities are TOTALLY NECESSARY to survive, let alone THRIVE in this Universe.
It’s refreshing to hear someone speak of narcissism for what it truly is. With the label’s overuse these days, it can feel invalidating for people who have endured the true presentation of this personality disorder. I’m eagerly awaiting her book launch on kindle.
I love Dr. Ramani. Her work has helped me sooooooo much!!!!
Dr. Ramani is absolutely amazing & her content has helped me to understand what happened to me as a child & to rewrite my story. Thank you Andre for providing us with the greatest content on RUclips. You always deliver 🙏♥️ It’s such a pleasure to watch you!
Thank you, Dr. Ramani for your outstanding work and Andre for hosting and sharing this conversation, it means a world for me!
I'm literally 00:35 seconds in and the "what's happening during love-bombing... can feel like it's healing a childhood wound" has already got me. OOFH, she's good. I'm thankfully out of the storm, but this conversation is still so important for those who are in the thick of it, or don't even realise that they are. Thank you for having Dr. Ramani on, André.
Edit: I also think there is a spiritual component to narcissism, not dissimilar to the concept of wetiko being a virus of the mind. The book 'People of The Lie' touches upon a similar concept, as do other books I'm sure.
I want this book ppl of the lie .. ❤
Yeah, they lovebombed me. Said I love you 3 dates in, deleted their apps in a hotel room and cried to me when I said I needed time to decide if I wanted to be in a relationship. Two weeks in we are together. I am sad I didn’t catch it because she only got worse and cheated the whole time
Thank god my children may not become like their narc father, the impact of his emotional abuse is soul destroying, unforgiving, thank you both for helping us all ❤
This was like a play by play of my last 3 years😢. I believe man... I have learned the craziest things through the pain and the joy.. like an intense wave hit another intense wave, and that was us. Anywho ..much love...
Great video. Having discovered Dr Ramini 5 years ago via RUclips as I navigated child custody battle to a narcissistic ex-wife... her impact has been a rescue buoy. Her wealth of knowledge on the subject is enlightening. Thank you for uncovering her and bringing a latest chat / interview with her 🙏
Many hours of Dr Ramani's videos in a nutshell. Each topic has its comprehensive development on her channel which I strongly recommend.
Okay, so the big question is: WHERE and HOW to find nice people? Where are they most likely to be?
Unfortunately mixed in amongst the toxic people 😏. Study up on how to spot people's toxic traits. I wish you success in finding good people in the world 🌎. Stay safe.✌🏼🕊️♾️💕
I'm here. There are still a lot of nice people left. ❤
@@elenarae_ Yeah... I am in a town of 400 000 people and I am single 32 F. I find making friends here so hard. There isn't that much going on either. But there are some expat groups and I happen to be one, so hopefully... Also, there will be volunteering events soon. Wish me luck. And thank you for your kind words, guys. ❤️
Dr. Ramani is so eloquent. I love to listen to her articulate her thoughts about these things.
Ty for my education today, great program. This content is helping so many. The devaluation for 24 yrs has ended. The love bombing in the beginning was beyond anything I could have imagined.
We did not have children thank god.
His children from a prior marriage are the real victims here. My heart goes out to them. I can learn& grow.
His addiction/relapse/ recovery etc was far too much. Now @ 64 he has come out of the closet!!!!! It was never his sexuality it was always a terrible character. To the new person
TAG YOUR IT
I listened to the first hour of this before a therapy session and I bawled during therapy during a tender moment. I wish being around this didn’t feel so scary inside of me.
Andre, this was priceless, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this interview!
I LOVE this woman. She is a true Hero.
I was raised by a narcissist... now, as an adult, I'm afraid that I have her tendencies. So, I recluse I to seclusion so as not to hurt anyone else. Am I a narcissist? How do I know?
This video was helpful. My counselor says, no. But I still have fear. I think we all have tendencies. It's not an easy situation as everyone is so similar with such different stories.
I think it's really important to reiterate what she's saying about being professionally diagnosed. StOP diagnosing your friends, it's harmful
Thank you for sharing with us. Thank you for your videos. You are doing amazing work! ❤❤❤
@sagebay2803 Thank you for that. It's amazing that these words , though so simple if read by the outsider of this situation, are so meaningful that they bring me to tears. Thank you for your response. You are so kind.
Dr Ramani has helped me so much on my narc slaying journey
Profound Guidance!
Yes!!!!
😍 this conversation is healthy and powerful!
Spread the Love! 💗
Love Dr Ramani thank you for this episode Andre' ❤❤❤
Dr Ramini… ABSOLUTE GOLD here.
Such an eye opener once again. Ty for your dedication to such a devastating characteristic, which is effecting a vast amount of us today.
Painful topic, get sick feeling, too many of these relationships, so in way eyes were open, as have been out of this for few years, but the worlds condition, the collective? This is my wake up call!! Not about me 🤗💖💯👍🙏
This has been one of your best interviews yet Dr. Ramani! Kudos to you young man I thought I had gleaned all of the possible knowledge I could from this great lady, I’m shocked your questions were wonderful! Thank you ! I’m on the mend radical acceptance sucks, so now a different route!🙋🏻♀️
this is why 97% of the time i prefer and am happy to be a lone wolf , i wasn't born that way but time and experience have led me to choose that way
Thank you for posting this conversation with Dr. Ramani. I always learn something when she speaks! ❤
Two topics of this "podcast" stood out for me, which I haven't found anywhere else. First is the clear expectation that an adult is responsible for their own narcissism, regardless how it arose. It is no one else's responsibility to justify it. Second is how it is systematically normalized in some cultures and cloaked as obligation and responsibility. For the second topic, however, some of the prominent traits of narcissism may be absent (e.g., deceit) because the underlying problem is cultural expectations.
You are amazing. You are the person I wish I had in my life all my 68 years. You have described my life, and now end of life perfectly. Thank you for trying to help younger people know, “It’s not them”. At this point it gives me some comfort that I am not crazy or alone in this horrific situation I’ve been in since I was born- literally and still continues. I believe I have been sent here in part to end this generational cycle. I have not been able to but I’ve learned so much. Thank you again.
Dr. Ramani has taught me so much in depth regarding narcissism!!!! I love her knowledge. ❤
My daughter was a very anxious and easily distressed baby. She demonstrated a controlling personality since a toddler and lack of empathy. Very similar to my Narcissistic mother. As she grew up, these traits increased. I did my best to be a loving and supportive mother but its always been a struggle to keep the relationship going when she demanded it be on her terms.
I'm sharing my personal experience. Im not interested in the opinions of keyboard warriors looking for outlets for their frustration or blaming/shaming, which are traits of Narcissistic abuse. You will be reported.
Her clarity and knowledge are astounding. She is an incredible person.🙏
I think this woman just connected some dots for me in my own behavior that I wish weren’t there. I don’t think I’ve ever abused anyone. I hope I haven’t. But some of the traits are there probably further toward the less severe end of the spectrum. Wow. Enlightening but kinda personally problematic
Citing moral injury as the result of not conforming to family expectations - yes!
Family hierarchies cultivate cruelty. The hangedman, things are not as they appear.
Thank you for this excellent video with DrRamini
She is a pioneering warrior who has educated so many people & helped them heal from Narcissistic abuse
I have binged watched her videos & podcasts for years & am more than grateful for her blessed presence on this earth! Thank you
It took me some years to get rid of a narcissistic friend. He never regretted anything, never apologized , did a lot of gossip against me and everyone else, was abusive, big liar, putting one person against the other , didn't respect people's boundaries, was very selfish and envious,etc . I'm free now.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Dr. Ramani!! Thank you for having her on the show!! ❤
Wow! This podcast is transcendentally powerful
Thank you!
Radical acceptance 🙏🏽
We all do it how we can ❤
And! Safe riddance to shitty relationships 😉🤗☯️☮️💜
Dr. Ramani is a visionary 🙏🏽
From Vancouver BC Canada I have pre-ordered Doctor there's book entitled, it's not you. And I cannot wait because she always clears the mud of confusion that narcissistic tendencies. And the people behind them create i🎉n us when the narcissist will not accept responsibility for their own control manipulation downright meanness. They are like chess players who have to be the winner.
Just such a gift to have Dr Ramani in this cruel world. Thank you so much for your intervention.
I reside at BC indigenous housing & I am mixed race. I get hostility from neighbors, for instance from those who neglect to spay/neuter their pets. I am noticing narcissism in lotta people
Thank you both for this very enlightening conversation about this topic. I feel a of respect and love for the ability of Andé to ask such well formed questions and his ability to then be a quiet space, powerfully inviting space in which the guests on this podcast are allowed to fully express their unique wisdom to the audience. This is a very beautiful format and has a lot of potential, hopefully reaching everyone who is in need of the empowering information that is being shared. 💜✨🤘🏻👽
Oh my, I believe every ear would benefit from listening to this in full.
It’s actually liberating, and the tool to shed off guilts, and a tool to freedom.
If there were no longer people that would fall into the trap of the narcissist, how could the narcissistic person exist, nobody left to feed on
Dr. Ramani, is such a brilliant woman. I have so much respect for her and her work. Thank you for the great interview!
I'm starting to think everyone is a narcissist 😢 it's just to what degree
I read a book called The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg (a psychotherapist) & there’s a section in the book that speaks on how we all have both narcissistic and codependent traits inherently and how these traits are on a spectrum and scale that determines when those traits become dysfunctional to ourselves and others. I recommend you check out the book. it’ll give you more understanding and a wider scope on the topic that’ll relieve that “I gotta watch my back” feeling bec I’ve definitely felt that way before and it’s much more nuanced but digestable mentally than what meets the eye.
@@revelwithjaz thank the so much. That really puts it into a better perspective 😉
Some people may not like this and I'm so sorry to say this. Each an every person, no matter who you are , embodies a narcissistic trait and it vary according to intensity. Some people being narcissistic is a dominant thing and for some, it manifest occasionally . You may not be a full blown narcissist, but at some point in your life, you might have acted narcissistic even if you are a full blown empath ( we should not lie to ourselves). And the opposite is true, each an every person embody that empathy trait and varies according to intensity . Again, some people being empathetic is a dominant thing and for some it manifests occasionally and at a lesser degree. You may not be a full blown empath, but at some point in your life you might have acted empathetic even if someone is a full blown narcissist . Come on people, its just duality.
@@revelwithjaz you got it👌
@@ADAMULELOMUNYAIMUNYAI Duality, YES. I think it's so important to not stop at the information given, Dr R is incredible and in no way am I saying or trying to undermine her work but like she mentioned, there is alot of misinformation on narcissism out there and following our curiousity and growing our knowledge in books written by professionals really helps to understand OUR unique experience and also see that EVERYTHING is on a spectrum and that spectrum does not not include ourselves. and thats where the beautiful light and darkness concepts of duality come in and help us to accept and love ourselves first and then others.
I love Dr Ramani, she’s solid. Nonetheless I feel like focusing on what’s ‘wrong with the world’ or the narcissist parts of self perpetuate the perspective that we are all sick, mis-functional or wrong (as people and society) and it feeds into the sickness culture providing very little solutions, and more of a problem focused perspective, rather than a problem solution mind-frame. Nonetheless raising awareness is key.
I think solutions are implied when she says the narcissist is very unlikely to change. Finally facing and accepting that has provided rationale I needed for the boundaries I have set in my world.
Gray-rocking was a great place to start.
Dr Ramani has created many excellent videos re: dealing with these toxic relationships. Solutions are provided by her for us to implement since we can only change ourselves, not the narcissist or anybody else.
Dr Ramani “makes it make sense” for me. I am so grateful for her.
Good luck to you in finding peace and happiness. ✌️
Up to 7-8 years old seems to be the most vulnerable states of belief 🙏
Growing up as the scapegoat this is eye opening. We need more of this 🙌
I loved all of this! The jealous part hit home. I always wondered why his jealousy made me feel secure. I’ll go do some work to shed that. The yoga part is so true too! It’s hard to teach yoga because people only want to exercise. Thank you for all of your conversations.
OMG!! Thank you so much for this video!! So much I can relate... It's not me!!! Thank you!!!
I really loved this chat, hopefully you'll bring her again. I feel blesed being able to listen to her wise words.❤
I had to finish a friedship that was very dear to me because it became abusive.I would say the most innocent things and rage would burst out like a volcano.i.just suggested he to watch some good videos while in hospital to help to pass the time and the reaction was umbeliavable because he had told me already he didnt like youtube.He was so abusive for days but my intentions were the best.
Thank Dr. R. for sharing your message with us all. Great conversation Andre, thank you!
It is So necessary to train therapists to Truly understand the damage inflicted by narcissistic people to family friends etc, thank you
I love this woman and her work.
Haven't even watched this yet but it couldn't have popped up at a better time.... I know what I am doing for the next 2 hours.
Thank you Dr Ramani and Andre for this wonderful session
So good. So needed. Asking yourself how your treating people is such a great check to understand "selfish" -that word was so shaming. Fantastic interview questions!
Thank you.
I know exactly and completely related to everything the gaslighting self-doubt self-esteem the hurt .The hope that was really hopeless .I knew I wasn't crazy but I stayed and lived on hope thinking It was going to change.I felt like I was just rowing a boat all alone.I finally got out and finally figured out that nothing was going to change. She is awesome and everythung she is talking about is right on point Wow!!!! OMG everything very intelligent loved❤❤❤❤❤ listening.Thank you .
Wonderful work. Thank you.
The wisdom of the old ones, my Grandmother and Mother described the “Communal Narcissist” as “Street Angel, house devil”. It was many years ago and then a well known phrase. Seems wise ones were also alert back then 😊
Eye opening!
Thank you again Doctor Ramani! Cant wait for your book "It's Not You" to be released on February 20th! 🎉✨✌🏻💜