After 36 yrs of marriage, I only started hearing about narcissist abou two yrs ago, it answers alot of questions...especially the one "am I losing my mind"
Same here! My narc brothers horrid behaviour rattled me to my core...and I turned to the internet for answers! Discovered Dr Ramani, discovered Narcissim...and realised how my Mom is the biggest narc, my sis the golden child and possible covert narc, my father the big enabler and possibly a covert narc as well!!! Phew! I now realise it was okay to not feel okay about my family all these years! And I am 54!!!
@Sleetstorm Your response is completely dismissive of the fact that people are suffering everyday at the hands of narcissists. It’s not a “new fad.” It’s only newly publicized. It’s now being talked about because narcs seldom believe their behaviors are problematic and don’t seek professional help. They do everything behind closed doors to maintain their image publicly. These decades-old behaviors finally have a name. The type of emotional, mental, psychological abuse is most times worse than getting physically abused. Their behavior is so sneaky and manipulative, it’s hard for anyone to believe you; they don’t believe your spouse could do such a thing or be such a person. You’re completely isolated at that point, a shell of the person you used to be, and literally made out to look like you’re crazy…that’s how these demons operate. To say “it’s a new fad” mocks those suffering for decades and didn’t know how to explain their messed up relationship/life. Now this deranged disorder and the traits of these abusers are being brought to light. People are completely valid in now discovering that something is very wrong and get the help they need to work through it and heal.
Dr. Ramani , you are so understanding and so accurate. your mode of passing the information is as eloquent as can be. Thank you and bless you for the hope and understanding you offer.
Much love to you as you work your way out & begin moving forward into the light.💖💖 I left a 7-yr marriage to a narcissist & my self doubt & his indifference (& sometimes cruelty) were painful & hard but I made it and SO WILL YOU! 💙 Every step of the way, try to remember you are not alone, & you deserve a medal for every step you make. Try to be kind to yourself & know life will eventually be much, much better, and much, much happier! You deserve to be loved and supported. 🙏🏼💖
@@bumblebee_ms if I may be honest, he still lives in my apartment …I don’t know how to get him out …he doesn’t speak to me for 2 months now 😭😭…I am afraid to confront him
Dr Ramani sorry to hear about your long history with narcissistic relationships. Your trauma channelled into helping others is commendable!!! You are a very rare gem!!! 💎
This is a very fair statement but think about it if you truly learn what narcissism is how it’s here in the first place, and why people don’t notice it until it happens to them, well you pretty much are a mind reader. I’ve been able to help people going through it just by what I’ve learned from Dr. Ramani.
Thank you again ladies for this. I have forever been changed by narcissism in my life. I’m consciously finding my grounding again. I’m in total shock and disbelief, dare I say traumatized by the situations I’ve been falsely brought into. Half of my life seems like just a lie. I’m recovering. Thank you ladies.
Thank you so much for your honesty, transparency and vulnerability my homie! You are not alone and we are here to help support you as you go on your recovery journey! This community is very near and dear to me and your voice here matters!
@@LisaBilyeu thank you so much. This is confusing and draining. Every choice I make has a consequence I’m fully aware of now. I’m trying to stay physically, mentally and emotionally safe. Thank you again. 🙏🏽
@@tracysnipes2144 I pray one day the pain we suffered will be so distant from our memory as if it was actually another lifetime ago. We are forever changed and new. Now we can be New and Great! Peace and Wellness to you. 🙏🏽✨🙏🏽
I'm really struggling and I was only in a relationship with a narcissist for 7 months, so I really feel for and can't imagine how difficult it is for those who were in years-long marriages. So sorry to everyone who's tried so hard to please, fix things, be strong, loyal and compassionate yet received abuse in return. It really messes with your sanity. May we all recover.
Even after 7 months you can come out of that relationship being seriously emotionally destabilized. Wish you the best and the strength to leave it all behind you. X
Dr. Ramani is so lovely! She is honest and wise and firm in what she knows! Whenever I listen to the video where Dr. Ramani is speaking, it feels like she is a personal therapist, as well as a parental figure who mirrors back to those of us who listen our experience, affirming our words, and understanding what we are going through. It is so vital to healing to have someone tell you they understand! I can’t say enough good things about her! Right now, I am reading her new book and loving it and highly recommend it to anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist in any capacity. Thank you Lisa, and thank you, Dr. Ramani, for these informative, insightful and helpful videos! The Lord bless you both! 🙏🏻🕊️
Dr. Ramani, your descriptions of yourself and the aftermath of narcissistic abuse had me nodding my head throughout When your used to accepting that most people won't understand or relate to my experiences, and some may even question my credibility, it can be such a relief and so grounding to spend a little time with people who do see us and understand our pain.
@@jenchristianrn1exactly what I was thinking, we need to be seen in our suffering ! Most of us don't have any Support group, friends left by the Time we realize ! why and how it happened over the long Years!
Yeah, it’s like walking on eggshells to minimize any abuse or wondering when again the abuse is going to start again. The ruminating is about the injustice of it. You go over and over the interaction because you don’t understand why you are bringing abused and how you are supposed to cope with it. There’s a ring leader too amongst my siblings orchestrating a hate campaign against me.
The Bible says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick". I'm no longer feeling heartsick mode. I'm hoping in something way more positive with way better dividends.
That is how I felt in my relationship. Always hoping. I had an anxiety attack and made him move out. He then broke up with me. Now, I'm beating myself up for making him move out and therefore triggering the break up. I miss him so much even though he only gave me breadcrumbs.
What I hate the most is allowing myself to be hoovered when I am at my most vulnerable. So true that "empathy is not something that you can turn off". My malignant narcissist parent just passed away. I found myself crying that he was suffering before he died. Then I got hoovered by a sibling. Even though I knew better, after 2 months straight of constant calling me for advice and support as our parent was ill, I about 90% believed that she had changed. Where I live we are at War. 2 nights ago there was a major potentially deathly attack on us. My sibling lives in another country, so I called for support. This was the first time in her over 50 years of life I allowed myself to show her that I was frightened. So I raised my voice, and while I was on video chat, and getting updated orders from our Home Front Command, I said "sh*t" at every update. I was accused of speaking in an "angry tone of voice" and "how dare I cuss in front of their teenager". I felt so hurt. I was under threat of possibly being killed, but my behavior was invalidated as inappropriate. I received many written messages attacking my behavior. Thank G-d our Defense systems shot down 99% of the missiles headed for us. But my sibling continued to write about my inappropriate behavior from her safe home in her country far away. I kept hearing Dr. Ramani saying, " No empathy, invalidating, gaslighting= narcissist." So, for the first time in my life I wrote back, knowing full well that it would make no difference, that I expected my sibling to show compassion for my situation and give support, not get a lecture that my actual panicked behavior was an attack on you from anger. I felt better saying what I felt, even knowing that my sibling enabled by the spouse of the sibling, who was used as proof that my tone was "angry". I was blessed that same night to receive very worried and supportive messages from friends and cousins who live in my sibling's country. I had to work really hard not to ruminate on my behavior that night, that I had called that sibling for support, and that sibling's response. Only a week before, and before our parent passed away, I was called because my sibling was extremely upset over a colleague's not nice post on a group chat. My sibling actually went from being really hurt to rage while on the call, screaming at me. And later wrote an apology to me, which I responded with that it was unnecessary, because I am probably a safe space. Here I was in what my whole country thought was an imminent existential threat, but attacked for raising my voice and saying "sh*t". I guess that I may actually be ruminating after all. Well, our parent's funeral was only a few days ago. I guess I need to be kinder to myself. Am I going to be vulnerable to being hoovered and then abused by a narcissist whenever I am stressed? No one has any idea how long this War will last so it is stressful. Up to my parents' passing, I have been able to somewhat find times to not feel stressed, and enjoy myself. But I am having flashbacks from my childhood, and feeling sad during this mourning phase, so am particularly vulnerable. By the way, I am the "Truth Teller or Truth seer child" of my family.😢
I experienced the following at the beginning of the relationship- We went out with a friend he hadn’t seen in a while. I was excited that I was being introduced to his friend. We had a good time. And the next day he said to me that his friend warned him about me because I gave out a negative energy. He felt that I was going to cause trouble for him in his life. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing him say. At the time, I thought I was in the hands of a special person but little did I know!
Thank you for posting your video, it has given me so much information on how to deal with a narcissist. My story is I had a narcissist mother and she died. I put up with emotional abuse for years. I have a narcissist sister who would treat me just like my mother did. I have learned to walked away and I no longer have to put myself in the abuse. I am healing.
The hardest part of being in a narcissistic relationship is realizing that you don't have friends that you can turn to. They all see the narcissist as a swell, loving and successful person. You wind up being more alone in the relationship than when you were living by yourself.
Dr. Ramani’s content has TRULY been life changing for me. When I was a little girl I was at the grocery store with my mom who was being difficult with workers or management as she usually was when we were out. I was embarrassed and kept my distance every time. I will NEVER forget a random lady passing by asking if that was my mom and then saying, “I’m sorry” in a truly compassionate way. Now that I know all these years later that my mom is in fact a grandiose narcissist, that lady at the grocery store’s comment makes so much sense. Content like this validates my experiences that were ALWAYS gaslighted.
You lady's are hitting the nail on the head. This episode is completely compounding emotions. Understanding survival mode as humans or mama's if you will. Sincerely hits home
Narcissist do shift.. If you say stop calling me these names.. They stop for a few months but, start again with different names to call you and instead of calling you stupid they now say do you hear yourself and how stupid you sound. Then they say I didn't call you stupid just the things that come out of your mouth. They just start their control, bulling you in a slight different way.
That’s still gaslighting and manipulative. That’s not a shift either . You can’t tell them what hurts bc it only gives them more ammunition and they will use sneakier tactics . It is more psychological abusive to hear “ do you see how dumb you sound “ opposed to just being called stupid . It is insidious bc they will gaslight the hell out of you “ I didn’t say that “ yet now they just have us gaslighting ourselves ! I am such an idiot was the main phrase of most my life yet I wasn’t CALLED ONE OUT RIGHT . they get us to abuse ourselves and act like they have nothing to do w it !
There’s nothing wrong with having a smaller circle of relationships. I’m a dozen years older than Dr. R. and I feel like we were twins separated at birth. So blessed to have lived long enough to UNDERSTAND what happened to me.
“Meaning out of suffering…” so true. Back then…you don’t know what you don’t know…speed forward 36 years clarity confidence conviction in your beliefs…it’s a journey; we live we learn if we’re smart. ❤
When I started dating a love bombing narcissist I'd never even heard of a narcissist. Scariest, worst relationship I've ever had !!! For about a year I dated him. I can't imagine the damage it does to someone that's been in a LONG term relationship and has children with a narcissist my Lord 🙏🏽 I've been single and celibate since and that was 12 years ago!! I started listening to Dr R , also a couple other doctors and that's when I finally understood what I'd gotten myself involved in. I literally had to escape ✈️ then go to the police 🚓🚨 to make the sick narcissist stop stalking me !!! 3 years of healing from this crazy dude after a 1 year relationship!! He'd been talking about us moving in together and thank God I didn't agree on that , never wanted to live together with a man unless we were married since I bought my own home. So thankful I also turned down his marriage proposal twice!!
Oh my. I remember knowing 20 years ago that I should not care what other people want, not care about anyones expectations, but then I went and did it all anyway. It all feels so futile.
This brought me to tears, she described everything I have gone through and the confusion i have been facing trying to put the pieces together... WOW Wish i can get therapy from her
Wow, I feel so foolish for not recognizing the pattern. All these years, I thought she was unhappy because I failed her! You've opened my eyes, but now I'm deeply disappointed, realizing I was paying the highest price to fix something that was already broken.
I learned too late, but now I have a word that describes the insanity I was in. It wasn't some grand delusion. I knew enough to know something was wrong.
In the past 12 years things have changed so much! Twelve years ago I was seeking high & low for help but couldn't find it. Now there are so many resources and a comprehensive understanding of narcissism.
Dr Ramani, thank you so much! Saying that when you are out in tge rain, you didn't create the wet. I have been for so long saying that so many therapists & psychiatrists treat people in a vacuum, as if everything is generated internally & outside interacts & abuse & neglect & gaslighting & confusing demands don't have anything to do with anxiety, depression, nightmares, & so much more. It is time for the medical worldto ask questions about home life, work life, & relationships. Thank you so, so much!
You are so so right. It’s absolutely disgraceful the minimizing of this. I got so angry during my recovery, I’m like these people are walking around, accepted by society, I might be served by one.. how is this OKAY? it should be super criminal xx
I admire and respect you Dr. Ramani! I love all of your smart and informative videos! You remind me of my fathers sister, my aunt, who was a math teacher, guidance counselor, and worked for an attorney when she retired, she was smart, intelligent , and kind, just like my father was! I was so blessed to have them in my life. I encouraged my daughter to get an education, she has just graduated from a university with a bachelor's degree! Such a wonderful accomplishment for her, I am so proud of her! I hope to go back to school eventually too, to get a degree myself! Thank you Dr. Ramani I appreciate you so very much for all of your help on this topic!❣️
Truly helped me save my mental health, I'm now 2 months out of a 4.5 year relationship with an extreme Narcissistic man. After my boss was one as well. I'm healing, getting healthier. It's slow but I've read your book once and now about to start it again ty ty ty. I now know" ITS NOT ME!"
I can relate to not regretting leaving the relationship I never thought I could of given myself more and now knowing what I do I'm glad I went through it to know and experience and not make the same mistake I now no longer care or wonder what happened to my ex who was an abusive narcissist.
Amazing. I felt this hard. I have been in therapy for 20 years. Was married to a narcissist who did these things. And only after I left him, people came out with "he didn't seem rjght" "he acted controlling" " we didn't trust him"... but my therapist kept telling me I needed to take blame for HIS BEHAVIOR. She even knew he was being physically abusive ontop of emotionally abusive. But she told me I needed to take responsibility for my part in the things he did to me. And would tell me I need to apologize for upsetting him (resulting in a beating or a gun to my head). So therapists I've seen didn't report it, and told me I WAS THE REASON he did these terrible things. Even when he got in a bunch of legal issues, the judge and DA who had 10 years of abuse given to her, BLAMED ME! And said I was unhealthy for him. And now I question if I'm a bad person and all my relationships are gone now. No friends or family and the therapist dropped me, and then I even got a letter stating I wasn't taking responsibility for things and they would no longer see me in the entire clinic, hospital, ER...etc.
It is messed up, we put up all this Year's turns us to a diff. person! Even many years we don't know what's going on and address it, how can you expect the others to understand you! Most people wouldn't imagine how messed up person can get true many years of abuse 😔
I'm done done done with a toxic person still thinking about all the awful things she said although some indirect in front of other people it's quite an involved situation but I don't want to interact at all with her anymore because of a hell of a lot of reasons , thank you your podcasts help me stay strong
Because people who don't really know what Narcissistic is and use it.. It really does harm real victims of it. Going through a divorce with one and I know when I first met my lawyer it was important to me he understands what I am fighting. I know when I told him, I felt that silent eye roll. We'll my lawyer is finding it out on his own.
Did your lawyer started a relationship with your ex now? Because you are saying that he is finding out. I could easily see I happen actually. Wouldn't surprise me at all..
Lisa, every time you do a segment, I feel the world becoming stronger, better. Love Dr. Rahmani. She has opened up my eyes. My brother is a miserable narc, with my mother being the enabler. Just because they’re family, it doesn’t mean you’re stuck. There’s no such thing as a Hallmark Family. Love yourself, go find safety,
My mother is a narcissist. More than my brother or dad. It was hard to tell if my brother or dad are narcissistic but they have some traits of narcissism. But my mom is a full blown narcissist. And an alcoholic too
It always need not be sexual abuse always.. Some people are born without the empathy part in the brain and some don't develop it due to varied reasons and become narcissists like these. It always need not be any abuse always.. I have so many in my expended family, that it seems hereditary and surely not all of them were abused because there is one in each nuclear family on every generation. @@ms.liszz.9206
Brilliant. I get told off by friends - you should leave you should run away but I am me and I give people chances . ( and I don’t regret them ) But I do believe when it’s the end it’s the end . AND You feel it coming ( so weird there’s a feeling of knowing or of growing boredom or something that seems to happen ) and then it’s done . Thank you Dr Ramani as always . You have helped me so much
Listening to you ladies always helps me realize I am not crazy n’ that I can overcome these aspects of my life. Thank you so much for all this content, literally saving my life*
I’m 48, single daughter of a profoundly narcissistic mother and a dad who went from doormat to narcissist (don’t even know what you call this)… years later, meet the narc ex who was simply familiar, ‘more of the same’. Luckily, after 3 years of marriage, my son was born and all I new is that I had to get out. There’s no way I was going to allow him to be treated like that or, even worse model that type of behaviour. He was 10 months when I left, twelve years later I haven’t regret it for a single day. There might be self doubt but, deep down inside, I know it was simply too toxic!
That was when I realized it too. When I started having kids, and realized the things my parents did, I would NEVER do to my kids. :( Someone has to break the cycle of generational abuse. Let it be us.
Same here. I got pregnant and all I kept thinking is… I can’t let my daughter think men act like this. I can’t let her think this is a “relationship”. I can’t let her hear the things he calls me. The list went on and on. I worked 2 jobs while pregnant. Did the whole pregnancy thing alone. Raising a newborn by myself. It’s so hard. But, she’s 3 months old and she hasn’t known one abusive moment in her short life… I am so happy knowing her heart, mind, and soul are safe.
much 💛 love to Dr. Ramani, and to you too, Lisa. And yes it can for sure be a very different depth and empathy when you have gone through that stuff AND studied it for your whole life... I do think there might be excellent therapists with depth and empathy that have not gone through all that dirt, but i think they are exceptions. Really, it's hard to find excellent therapists when you have a high level of trauma.
This is hands down, the most eye opening, spot on podcast I have EVER heard in my life. Absolutely brilliant. So matter of fact, easy to connect to, and build off of. Dr. Ramani and Lisa, WOW! Thank you for your work and vocalization of experiences, rawness, and vulnerability to share. So incredibly helpful.
Thank you Lisa and Dr Ramani ❤ It makes it so much more relatable when people that seem like they have got everything together let us know they are going through the same and they have the same self doubt. So insightful as usual. Thank you xxx
Thanks for the work but I especially appreciate Dr. R’s willingness to share her inner world about her interactions and pain dealing with narcissists. Acknowledging her own painful interactions. Meaning out of our suffering! Well said. ❤
If narcissists become your “forever stalkers” when you leave or they “discard” you it really gives you a sense of hopelessness in life. For the rest of your life you have to look over your shoulder. And they could come at you with any kind of attack, and ones you don’t see you just find your life is starting to fall apart around you for some reason. There is no therapist or psychologist that can help you with this. What is the point if you have to spend your life as a the target of a “hit man” that you never know when or where they will appear. But you KNOW they are out there planning your downfall. Where does the joy in life ever come back from something like that? You can spend all the time in the world healing from abuse but on the end the “hit man” is going to get you. There are no words that can help console this kind of existence. Existing becomes pointless and dark with no hope, just the dread of living and knowing that you could be taken out at any time. Can have as many therapy sessions as you want, it will not change the fact that they are coming for you.
1:43:50 " Thank you so much for this invitation, I am so flattered/honoured that you reached out to me. I just want to know that I am going to politely decline, and it is not in anyway a reflection of you or your ideas nor your invitation. It is only a reflection of me living out my values. If I say yes to you, I am saying no to what matters the most to me or what I say matters the most to me. I just want you to know that I am cheering you on, and I wish you the best. I hope in doing this, it invites you to live out your values in a stronger way." POWERFUL and THANK YOU!
Moral injury.. invalidatition is cutting into an wound. It's so unreal that each time it takes you aback and then find yourself costantantly on guard... you anticipate madness every single day & when it went alright that moment you never too sure... it needs to take you to the cliff & opt jumping off .. cause it makes sense
Love you Dr. Ramani. I soak in all your words. I feel I stayed too long in a narcisistic marriage. Been divorced 14 years now and I'm still like your car...very careful and cannot trust. Thank you immensely for what you do!. ❤
I never asked or demanded for ex-husband to be what I wanted him to be. I always gave him my support on whatever he wanted to do but the one thing I did want for him was to seek therapy and spiritual healing so that perhaps he would stop verbally, physically and emotionally abusing me for 33 years. He would demand for me to change, and he would belittle me and insult me for this amount of years He would demand from me that I give him the divorce for years, and I gave him what he always wanted to have. I also don't care about my ex-abuser ex-husband anymore. I am moving on with my life, and I am trying to finish my high school. This is something that I always wanted to have. I think that I am better off without my ex-abuser ex-husband. Because he let me know that he never truly loved me, and I learned to accept it all those times that he would yell at me. I actually feel sorry for my ex-husband because he never rea
The last bid of Dr Ramani was the most important for me. Because that is exactly what I did - started to question my whole history and it is very destabilizing.
One thing that I feel Dr. Ramni neglect to answer is . How to bridge the gap after 7 years of narcissistic abuse relationship. After I delete all the pic, all the memories , all the post's. What do I tell people ? What do I say to my self ? Where have you been in past 7 years ?
Honesty is the only path forward. No matter the situation or thought, be honest with yourself first and then you can be okay with being honest with others. It is okay. (I stayed in my narcissist relationship, for now, best option for me; but I do not hide the bs or truth in any way, I am in acceptance, honesty is freeing.)
I am just now working on a very similar path as Dr Ramani. I wish she was practicing near me because I would love to pick her brain and get some advice from her 😢 I feel like she was telling MY story when she was talking about her life
Jenna Kutcher interview was great. Momprenurship was gaining momentum when I was a young mum and it has been a blessing I worked out how to be the mum i wanted to be. I have to say though stay at home mums and society need to understand what non financial contribution means. They are contributing in so many ways. I’m not sure how or why but I learned to listen to the whispers. Life school, love it. Yes be the contradiction, by boxing ourselves in to a life we thought we wanted when we’re in our 20’s and attaching the work we do to our identity closes you off to what’s possible.
They don't understand narcissism and don't realize they are equipping these people to be better abusers, especially when they make them leaders in the church. Since mine became a Christian he is only gotten better at manipulating and much better at convincing the church that he's somebody he's not and it makes me so sick.
I really identify with w.hat you said the effects were on you and how hard you tried to constantly please....I still do but I finally at 76 have boundaries. My tormentor died 7 tears ago, despite us separating many years before, and I finally felt free to live my life. There was profound damage over the years but like you I feel that I learnt so much that has been beneficial, about myself, him, and assessing my other relationships. I have profound admiration for you....ypu knowledge, how articulate you are in expressing that knowledge, as well as your beauty and warmth. Also thank ypu Lisa for your obvious intelligence and ability to ask questions that elicit meaningful answers from Dr Ramani. Oh, how I wish I could meet you both!!! Please come to New Zealand on a talking tour 😊
It is hard already seeing that you go through the emotional abuse! For some reason I don't like to hear that Dr Amani gone through and still carrying scars from it! Is it because of the character we are and it will always be with us, even after knowing 😢😢😢
I am watching your videos from France, thank you so much for this content, these videos are so interesting and helping so much to understand what we, ''victims'' of narcissist abuse, went through. Dr Ramani is really the best. And you Lisa are a great Host. Merci beaucoup ! ❤
The rumination is something six months later I still am going through. She cheated, denied, and lied and told me I was crazy. She would never admit it. I asked her just to tell me if she was and she called me boring. She finally left me and made me feel like it was my fault. I never understood how I was dropped like I never mattered. Her friend was the one who finally told me about everything simply because she also eventually screwed her friend over in business. Turns out she left me so the new man would not find out about me. All the time and effort I put in for love was for nothing.
Dr. Ramani’s videos saved my life, not in the sense that I was going to perish physically, but in the sense that I was going to perish as an individual with an identity. I am so grateful to have found her channel; it gave me clarity and enabled me to regain a sense of self.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. You're courage is helping me give myself grace and understanding. This hits hard, right where it matters right here, right now.
I'm not even sure if my relationship is narcissistic. It's so confusing. But most things she says resonates. He doesn't belittle me to my face but sometimes with actions. Has started saying certain friends are crazy or not good friends. I'm not sure
They don't have to be a narcissist for you to feel like something is off. I say this bc I focused so much in, Is he or isn't he", it didn't matter. A lot of my emotional torment came from having to stuff my intuition and feelings that something's off, unsafe, receptive. Those feelings didn't fit what I wanted to believe about them and the pain if seeing them in a different light was too painful. Now 6 years in and I am experiencing chronic pain and am autoimmune disorder. The emotional grief is far worse now than it would have been if I had nipped it in the bud, my first instincts. Don't do that to yourself. You have more to loose moving forward when you have doubts. Don't let him make you feel unsure of yourself or insecure. He doesn't have to be a narcissist to be considered harmful to you. A man should love and nurture and protect a woman, some are could at pretending so pray and ask God to give you wisdom and discernment. I am in such grief bc I didn't listen and married this man. The pain is complex. Love yourself
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Makes Sense Lisa !
hey, we are with you, homie, not those who did not invite you back on their show, LH and all....
Someone keeps doing that to me claiming to be Dr. Ramani.....
Thank you for all you do. ❤️
¾@@Whispering-q2j😢
After 36 yrs of marriage, I only started hearing about narcissist abou two yrs ago, it answers alot of questions...especially the one "am I losing my mind"
Same here! My narc brothers horrid behaviour rattled me to my core...and I turned to the internet for answers! Discovered Dr Ramani, discovered Narcissim...and realised how my Mom is the biggest narc, my sis the golden child and possible covert narc, my father the big enabler and possibly a covert narc as well!!!
Phew! I now realise it was okay to not feel okay about my family all these years! And I am 54!!!
No you're not losing your mind
@Sleetstorm Your response is completely dismissive of the fact that people are suffering everyday at the hands of narcissists. It’s not a “new fad.” It’s only newly publicized. It’s now being talked about because narcs seldom believe their behaviors are problematic and don’t seek professional help. They do everything behind closed doors to maintain their image publicly. These decades-old behaviors finally have a name. The type of emotional, mental, psychological abuse is most times worse than getting physically abused. Their behavior is so sneaky and manipulative, it’s hard for anyone to believe you; they don’t believe your spouse could do such a thing or be such a person. You’re completely isolated at that point, a shell of the person you used to be, and literally made out to look like you’re crazy…that’s how these demons operate. To say “it’s a new fad” mocks those suffering for decades and didn’t know how to explain their messed up relationship/life. Now this deranged disorder and the traits of these abusers are being brought to light. People are completely valid in now discovering that something is very wrong and get the help they need to work through it and heal.
40 years in September and I just discovered it and realize that my father and husband are narcissists. 🤦♀️
Dr. Ramani , you are so understanding and so accurate. your mode of passing the information is as eloquent as can be. Thank you and bless you for the hope and understanding you offer.
I am getting out of a 12 year relationship with a neglectful narcissist…it was the hell 😢you both are helping me sooo much, thank you 😭
I 've been married to a malignant narcissist husband for 28years. I finally have the courage to get out of this relationship.
Much love to you as you work your way out & begin moving forward into the light.💖💖 I left a 7-yr marriage to a narcissist & my self doubt & his indifference (& sometimes cruelty) were painful & hard but I made it and SO WILL YOU! 💙 Every step of the way, try to remember you are not alone, & you deserve a medal for every step you make. Try to be kind to yourself & know life will eventually be much, much better, and much, much happier! You deserve to be loved and supported. 🙏🏼💖
I did too and now I'm left with broken pieces holding the bag.
@athenarushThank you. It's been a really rough road for me, with no help.
@@bumblebee_ms if I may be honest, he still lives in my apartment …I don’t know how to get him out …he doesn’t speak to me for 2 months now 😭😭…I am afraid to confront him
Dr Ramani sorry to hear about your long history with narcissistic relationships. Your trauma channelled into helping others is commendable!!! You are a very rare gem!!! 💎
She is a true Gem 💞
What Dr Ramani says...'wanting to be a mind reader' just to please people and stay safe/feel safe...its painful, but so relate 🙏💝
This is a very fair statement but think about it if you truly learn what narcissism is how it’s here in the first place, and why people don’t notice it until it happens to them, well you pretty much are a mind reader. I’ve been able to help people going through it just by what I’ve learned from Dr. Ramani.
Thank you again ladies for this. I have forever been changed by narcissism in my life. I’m consciously finding my grounding again. I’m in total shock and disbelief, dare I say traumatized by the situations I’ve been falsely brought into. Half of my life seems like just a lie. I’m recovering.
Thank you ladies.
Thank you so much for your honesty, transparency and vulnerability my homie! You are not alone and we are here to help support you as you go on your recovery journey! This community is very near and dear to me and your voice here matters!
@@LisaBilyeu thank you so much. This is confusing and draining. Every choice I make has a consequence I’m fully aware of now. I’m trying to stay physically, mentally and emotionally safe.
Thank you again. 🙏🏽
Are 😆🫡@@LisaBilyeu
@@tracysnipes2144 I pray one day the pain we suffered will be so distant from our memory as if it was actually another lifetime ago. We are forever changed and new. Now we can be New and Great!
Peace and Wellness to you.
🙏🏽✨🙏🏽
@@LiveandLove45Beaufuly said 💞💞🙏
I'm really struggling and I was only in a relationship with a narcissist for 7 months, so I really feel for and can't imagine how difficult it is for those who were in years-long marriages.
So sorry to everyone who's tried so hard to please, fix things, be strong, loyal and compassionate yet received abuse in return. It really messes with your sanity.
May we all recover.
Even after 7 months you can come out of that relationship being seriously emotionally destabilized.
Wish you the best and the strength to leave it all behind you. X
Dr. Ramani is so lovely! She is honest and wise and firm in what she knows! Whenever I listen to the video where Dr. Ramani is speaking, it feels like she is a personal therapist, as well as a parental figure who mirrors back to those of us who listen our experience, affirming our words, and understanding what we are going through. It is so vital to healing to have someone tell you they understand! I can’t say enough good things about her! Right now, I am reading her new book and loving it and highly recommend it to anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist in any capacity. Thank you Lisa, and thank you, Dr. Ramani, for these informative, insightful and helpful videos! The Lord bless you both! 🙏🏻🕊️
narsist aunt and narsist uncle video exposition video
Dr. Ramani, your descriptions of yourself and the aftermath of narcissistic abuse had me nodding my head throughout When your used to accepting that most people won't understand or relate to my experiences, and some may even question my credibility, it can be such a relief and so grounding to spend a little time with people who do see us and understand our pain.
🎉almost makes you want to have a group of survivors in your city.
@@jenchristianrn1exactly what I was thinking, we need to be seen in our suffering ! Most of us don't have any Support group, friends left by the Time we realize ! why and how it happened over the long Years!
@@ebrume3587 I’ll be your friend. We can make a new tribe.
The challenge of despair is definitely a reality for many of us. 💔
I really like Lisa as a host. She is so empathetic. And Dr. Ramani is always worth hearing.
Lisa really listens and adds value to Dr. Ramani's comments when she responds to what Dr. Ramani has said.
I love the comparison between a narcissism survivor and a cat testing whether a surface is safe to walk on.
Yeah, it’s like walking on eggshells to minimize any abuse or wondering when again the abuse is going to start again. The ruminating is about the injustice of it. You go over and over the interaction because you don’t understand why you are bringing abused and how you are supposed to cope with it. There’s a ring leader too amongst my siblings orchestrating a hate campaign against me.
My malignant narc mother made my whole life extremely difficult as she chose me as the family scapegoat/punching bag.
My mama too, now i have third lunatic bf i cant break up with him...cheater
@@Nyc99 I'm so sorry. I went thru that too. I'm struggling alone big time.
Me too
@@Divine_healing Sorry to hear it.
Thank you, bumblebee and also to you
The Bible says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick". I'm no longer feeling heartsick mode. I'm hoping in something way more positive with way better dividends.
Amen sis
Thank you for this verse! Wow!
❤ beautiful said!! 💯
That is how I felt in my relationship. Always hoping. I had an anxiety attack and made him move out. He then broke up with me. Now, I'm beating myself up for making him move out and therefore triggering the break up. I miss him so much even though he only gave me breadcrumbs.
Amen.❤❤❤❤
What I hate the most is allowing myself to be hoovered when I am at my most vulnerable.
So true that "empathy is not something that you can turn off". My malignant narcissist parent just passed away. I found myself crying that he was suffering before he died.
Then I got hoovered by a sibling. Even though I knew better, after 2 months straight of constant calling me for advice and support as our parent was ill, I about 90% believed that she had changed.
Where I live we are at War. 2 nights ago there was a major potentially deathly attack on us.
My sibling lives in another country, so I called for support.
This was the first time in her over 50 years of life I allowed myself to show her that I was frightened.
So I raised my voice, and while I was on video chat, and getting updated orders from our Home Front Command, I said "sh*t" at every update.
I was accused of speaking in an "angry tone of voice" and "how dare I cuss in front of their teenager".
I felt so hurt. I was under threat of possibly being killed, but my behavior was invalidated as inappropriate.
I received many written messages attacking my behavior.
Thank G-d our Defense systems shot down 99% of the missiles headed for us.
But my sibling continued to write about my inappropriate behavior from her safe home in her country far away.
I kept hearing Dr. Ramani saying, " No empathy, invalidating, gaslighting= narcissist."
So, for the first time in my life I wrote back, knowing full well that it would make no difference, that I expected my sibling to show compassion for my situation and give support, not get a lecture that my actual panicked behavior was an attack on you from anger.
I felt better saying what I felt, even knowing that my sibling enabled by the spouse of the sibling, who was used as proof that my tone was "angry".
I was blessed that same night to receive very worried and supportive messages from friends and cousins who live in my sibling's country.
I had to work really hard not to ruminate on my behavior that night, that I had called that sibling for support, and that sibling's response.
Only a week before, and before our parent passed away, I was called because my sibling was extremely upset over a colleague's not nice post on a group chat. My sibling actually went from being really hurt to rage while on the call, screaming at me. And later wrote an apology to me, which I responded with that it was unnecessary, because I am probably a safe space.
Here I was in what my whole country thought was an imminent existential threat, but attacked for raising my voice and saying "sh*t".
I guess that I may actually be ruminating after all.
Well, our parent's funeral was only a few days ago. I guess I need to be kinder to myself.
Am I going to be vulnerable to being hoovered and then abused by a narcissist whenever I am stressed?
No one has any idea how long this War will last so it is stressful.
Up to my parents' passing, I have been able to somewhat find times to not feel stressed, and enjoy myself.
But I am having flashbacks from my childhood, and feeling sad during this mourning phase, so am particularly vulnerable.
By the way, I am the "Truth Teller or Truth seer child" of my family.😢
The relief of not caring is such a powerful way to be my empathetic to myself
I experienced the following at the beginning of the relationship- We went out with a friend he hadn’t seen in a while. I was excited that I was being introduced to his friend. We had a good time. And the next day he said to me that his friend warned him about me because I gave out a negative energy. He felt that I was going to cause trouble for him in his life. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing him say. At the time, I thought I was in the hands of a special person but little did I know!
Your special to God anyway ❤
I wish we all had angels to protect us. You got closure without being harmed.
@@Hatbox948 I should have done that but I thought there was a problem with his friend, not him. I came to find out what a compulsive liar he is.
Oh, with me was the same, he started to say that all of his friends didn't like me, that I am too flirty, too much, too talkative, too quiet, etc
I’m blown away. Description of yourself is so much the same as how I feel. 💔
Now my body can recognize narcissism, even my heart doesn’t, and in order to protect me I becoming sick. Thank you
Thank you for posting your video, it has given me so much information on how to deal with a narcissist. My story is I had a narcissist mother and she died. I put up with emotional abuse for years. I have a narcissist sister who would treat me just like my mother did. I have learned to walked away and I no longer have to put myself in the abuse. I am healing.
The hardest part of being in a narcissistic relationship is realizing that you don't have friends that you can turn to. They all see the narcissist as a swell, loving and successful person. You wind up being more alone in the relationship than when you were living by yourself.
Dr. Ramani’s content has TRULY been life changing for me. When I was a little girl I was at the grocery store with my mom who was being difficult with workers or management as she usually was when we were out. I was embarrassed and kept my distance every time. I will NEVER forget a random lady passing by asking if that was my mom and then saying, “I’m sorry” in a truly compassionate way. Now that I know all these years later that my mom is in fact a grandiose narcissist, that lady at the grocery store’s comment makes so much sense. Content like this validates my experiences that were ALWAYS gaslighted.
You lady's are hitting the nail on the head. This episode is completely compounding emotions. Understanding survival mode as humans or mama's if you will. Sincerely hits home
Narcissist do shift.. If you say stop calling me these names.. They stop for a few months but, start again with different names to call you and instead of calling you stupid they now say do you hear yourself and how stupid you sound. Then they say I didn't call you stupid just the things that come out of your mouth. They just start their control, bulling you in a slight different way.
That’s still gaslighting and manipulative. That’s not a shift either . You can’t tell them what hurts bc it only gives them more ammunition and they will use sneakier tactics . It is more psychological abusive to hear “ do you see how dumb you sound “ opposed to just being called stupid . It is insidious bc they will gaslight the hell out of you “ I didn’t say that “ yet now they just have us gaslighting ourselves ! I am such an idiot was the main phrase of most my life yet I wasn’t CALLED ONE OUT RIGHT . they get us to abuse ourselves and act like they have nothing to do w it !
Yep, my Narc was calling me Motherrr like in this Moovie😮😮😮
There’s nothing wrong with having a smaller circle of relationships.
I’m a dozen years older than Dr. R. and I feel like we were twins separated at birth.
So blessed to have lived long enough to UNDERSTAND what happened to me.
“Meaning out of suffering…” so true.
Back then…you don’t know what you don’t know…speed forward 36 years clarity confidence conviction in your beliefs…it’s a journey; we live we learn if we’re smart. ❤
When I started dating a love bombing narcissist I'd never even heard of a narcissist. Scariest, worst relationship I've ever had !!! For about a year I dated him. I can't imagine the damage it does to someone that's been in a LONG term relationship and has children with a narcissist my Lord 🙏🏽 I've been single and celibate since and that was 12 years ago!! I started listening to Dr R , also a couple other doctors and that's when I finally understood what I'd gotten myself involved in. I literally had to escape ✈️ then go to the police 🚓🚨 to make the sick narcissist stop stalking me !!! 3 years of healing from this crazy dude after a 1 year relationship!! He'd been talking about us moving in together and thank God I didn't agree on that , never wanted to live together with a man unless we were married since I bought my own home. So thankful I also turned down his marriage proposal twice!!
U dodged the bullet there lady.
Oh my. I remember knowing 20 years ago that I should not care what other people want, not care about anyones expectations, but then I went and did it all anyway. It all feels so futile.
Dr. Ramani. The insight when you look at your cat testing the waters or blankets and sen yourself that’s remarkable. I think you are awesome.
This brought me to tears, she described everything I have gone through and the confusion i have been facing trying to put the pieces together... WOW Wish i can get therapy from her
Wow, I feel so foolish for not recognizing the pattern. All these years, I thought she was unhappy because I failed her! You've opened my eyes, but now I'm deeply disappointed, realizing I was paying the highest price to fix something that was already broken.
Thank you both for SEEING us
I learned too late, but now I have a word that describes the insanity I was in. It wasn't some grand delusion. I knew enough to know something was wrong.
In the past 12 years things have changed so much! Twelve years ago I was seeking high & low for help but couldn't find it. Now there are so many resources and a comprehensive understanding of narcissism.
Dr Ramani, thank you so much! Saying that when you are out in tge rain, you didn't create the wet. I have been for so long saying that so many therapists & psychiatrists treat people in a vacuum, as if everything is generated internally & outside interacts & abuse & neglect & gaslighting & confusing demands don't have anything to do with anxiety, depression, nightmares, & so much more.
It is time for the medical worldto ask questions about home life, work life, & relationships.
Thank you so, so much!
You are so so right. It’s absolutely disgraceful the minimizing of this. I got so angry during my recovery, I’m like these people are walking around, accepted by society, I might be served by one.. how is this OKAY? it should be super criminal xx
I admire and respect you Dr. Ramani! I love all of your smart and informative videos! You remind me of my fathers sister, my aunt, who was a math teacher, guidance counselor, and worked for an attorney when she retired, she was smart, intelligent , and kind, just like my father was! I was so blessed to have them in my life. I encouraged my daughter to get an education, she has just graduated from a university with a bachelor's degree! Such a wonderful accomplishment for her, I am so proud of her! I hope to go back to school eventually too, to get a degree myself! Thank you Dr. Ramani I appreciate you so very much for all of your help on this topic!❣️
22 yrs blaming myself. It truly becomes exhausting mentally & emotionally.
You're not trying to prove yourself YOURE MAKING SO MANY PEOPLE AWARE. #GRATEFUL
💪
Truly helped me save my mental health, I'm now 2 months out of a 4.5 year relationship with an extreme Narcissistic man. After my boss was one as well. I'm healing, getting healthier. It's slow but I've read your book once and now about to start it again ty ty ty. I now know" ITS NOT ME!"
Inspiration. The honesty and earnestness.
I love Dr. Ramani ❤
right? such a beautiful human being
I can relate to not regretting leaving the relationship I never thought I could of given myself more and now knowing what I do I'm glad I went through it to know and experience and not make the same mistake I now no longer care or wonder what happened to my ex who was an abusive narcissist.
Amazing. I felt this hard. I have been in therapy for 20 years. Was married to a narcissist who did these things. And only after I left him, people came out with "he didn't seem rjght" "he acted controlling" " we didn't trust him"... but my therapist kept telling me I needed to take blame for HIS BEHAVIOR. She even knew he was being physically abusive ontop of emotionally abusive. But she told me I needed to take responsibility for my part in the things he did to me. And would tell me I need to apologize for upsetting him (resulting in a beating or a gun to my head). So therapists I've seen didn't report it, and told me I WAS THE REASON he did these terrible things. Even when he got in a bunch of legal issues, the judge and DA who had 10 years of abuse given to her, BLAMED ME! And said I was unhealthy for him. And now I question if I'm a bad person and all my relationships are gone now. No friends or family and the therapist dropped me, and then I even got a letter stating I wasn't taking responsibility for things and they would no longer see me in the entire clinic, hospital, ER...etc.
That’s so messed up. I’m sorry you went through that. Especially from those who were supposed to help.
It is messed up, we put up all this Year's turns us to a diff. person! Even many years we don't know what's going on and address it, how can you expect the others to understand you! Most people wouldn't imagine how messed up person can get true many years of abuse 😔
I'm done done done with a toxic person still thinking about all the awful things she said although some indirect in front of other people it's quite an involved situation but I don't want to interact at all with her anymore because of a hell of a lot of reasons , thank you your podcasts help me stay strong
Because people who don't really know what Narcissistic is and use it.. It really does harm real victims of it. Going through a divorce with one and I know when I first met my lawyer it was important to me he understands what I am fighting. I know when I told him, I felt that silent eye roll. We'll my lawyer is finding it out on his own.
I have this feeling most Lawyers are Narc itself .. They don't have no Emotions whatsoever !
Did your lawyer started a relationship with your ex now? Because you are saying that he is finding out.
I could easily see I happen actually. Wouldn't surprise me at all..
Lisa, every time you do a segment, I feel the world becoming stronger, better. Love Dr. Rahmani. She has opened up my eyes. My brother is a miserable narc, with my mother being the enabler. Just because they’re family, it doesn’t mean you’re stuck. There’s no such thing as a Hallmark Family. Love yourself, go find safety,
My mother is a narcissist. More than my brother or dad. It was hard to tell if my brother or dad are narcissistic but they have some traits of narcissism. But my mom is a full blown narcissist. And an alcoholic too
It always need not be sexual abuse always.. Some people are born without the empathy part in the brain and some don't develop it due to varied reasons and become narcissists like these. It always need not be any abuse always.. I have so many in my expended family, that it seems hereditary and surely not all of them were abused because there is one in each nuclear family on every generation. @@ms.liszz.9206
Brilliant. I get told off by friends - you should leave you should run away but I am me and I give people chances . ( and I don’t regret them ) But I do believe when it’s the end it’s the end . AND You feel it coming ( so weird there’s a feeling of knowing or of growing boredom or something that seems to happen ) and then it’s done .
Thank you Dr Ramani as always . You have helped me so much
God bless you Dr Ramani, you've been light for thousands of people
Listening to you ladies always helps me realize I am not crazy n’ that I can overcome these aspects of my life. Thank you so much for all this content, literally saving my life*
I’m 48, single daughter of a profoundly narcissistic mother and a dad who went from doormat to narcissist (don’t even know what you call this)… years later, meet the narc ex who was simply familiar, ‘more of the same’. Luckily, after 3 years of marriage, my son was born and all I new is that I had to get out. There’s no way I was going to allow him to be treated like that or, even worse model that type of behaviour. He was 10 months when I left, twelve years later I haven’t regret it for a single day. There might be self doubt but, deep down inside, I know it was simply too toxic!
That was when I realized it too. When I started having kids, and realized the things my parents did, I would NEVER do to my kids. :( Someone has to break the cycle of generational abuse. Let it be us.
Same here. I got pregnant and all I kept thinking is… I can’t let my daughter think men act like this. I can’t let her think this is a “relationship”. I can’t let her hear the things he calls me. The list went on and on.
I worked 2 jobs while pregnant. Did the whole pregnancy thing alone. Raising a newborn by myself. It’s so hard. But, she’s 3 months old and she hasn’t known one abusive moment in her short life… I am so happy knowing her heart, mind, and soul are safe.
'What is it you see Holmes? 'Everything - it's my curse!' I enjoy all of your work - thank you!
This is a 5 star podcast * * * * * ❤
much 💛 love to Dr. Ramani, and to you too, Lisa.
And yes it can for sure be a very different depth and empathy when you have gone through that stuff AND studied it for your whole life... I do think there might be excellent therapists with depth and empathy that have not gone through all that dirt, but i think they are exceptions. Really, it's hard to find excellent therapists when you have a high level of trauma.
I am so grateful for you!!!❤🎉 You have saved lives❤❤❤
This is hands down, the most eye opening, spot on podcast I have EVER heard in my life. Absolutely brilliant. So matter of fact, easy to connect to, and build off of. Dr. Ramani and Lisa, WOW! Thank you for your work and vocalization of experiences, rawness, and vulnerability to share. So incredibly helpful.
Sounds like an "I AM SO DONE!" moment.
You're our hero Dr Ramani. ❤
So real and so relatable. ❤
Thank you Lisa and Dr Ramani ❤
It makes it so much more relatable when people that seem like they have got everything together let us know they are going through the same and they have the same self doubt.
So insightful as usual. Thank you xxx
Dr.Ramani, I truly appreciate your transparency and honesty in explaining the experiences in narcissistic behavior.
Thanks for the work but I especially appreciate Dr. R’s willingness to share her inner world about her interactions and pain dealing with narcissists. Acknowledging her own painful interactions. Meaning out of our suffering! Well said. ❤
If narcissists become your “forever stalkers” when you leave or they “discard” you it really gives you a sense of hopelessness in life. For the rest of your life you have to look over your shoulder. And they could come at you with any kind of attack, and ones you don’t see you just find your life is starting to fall apart around you for some reason. There is no therapist or psychologist that can help you with this. What is the point if you have to spend your life as a the target of a “hit man” that you never know when or where they will appear. But you KNOW they are out there planning your downfall. Where does the joy in life ever come back from something like that? You can spend all the time in the world healing from abuse but on the end the “hit man” is going to get you. There are no words that can help console this kind of existence. Existing becomes pointless and dark with no hope, just the dread of living and knowing that you could be taken out at any time. Can have as many therapy sessions as you want, it will not change the fact that they are coming for you.
I’m so glad we hav the doctor share her experiences
1:43:50 " Thank you so much for this invitation, I am so flattered/honoured that you reached out to me. I just want to know that I am going to politely decline, and it is not in anyway a reflection of you or your ideas nor your invitation. It is only a reflection of me living out my values. If I say yes to you, I am saying no to what matters the most to me or what I say matters the most to me. I just want you to know that I am cheering you on, and I wish you the best. I hope in doing this, it invites you to live out your values in a stronger way."
POWERFUL and THANK YOU!
Moral injury.. invalidatition is cutting into an wound. It's so unreal that each time it takes you aback and then find yourself costantantly on guard... you anticipate madness every single day & when it went alright that moment you never too sure... it needs to take you to the cliff & opt jumping off .. cause it makes sense
Love you Dr. Ramani. I soak in all your words.
I feel I stayed too long in a narcisistic marriage. Been divorced 14 years now and I'm still like your car...very careful and cannot trust.
Thank you immensely for what you do!. ❤
I never asked or demanded for ex-husband to be what I wanted him to be.
I always gave him my support on whatever he wanted to do but the one thing I did want for him was to seek therapy and spiritual healing so that perhaps he would stop verbally, physically and emotionally abusing me for 33 years.
He would demand for me to change, and he would belittle me and insult me for this amount of years
He would demand from me that I give him the divorce for years, and I gave him what he always wanted to have.
I also don't care about my ex-abuser ex-husband anymore.
I am moving on with my life, and I am trying to finish my high school.
This is something that I always wanted to have.
I think that I am better off without my ex-abuser ex-husband.
Because he let me know that he never truly loved me, and I learned to accept it all those times that he would yell at me.
I actually feel sorry for my ex-husband because he never rea
Loved this episode. Opened my eyes. Still reading Dr. Ramani's new book. I am finding it extremely insightful and healing❤
The last bid of Dr Ramani was the most important for me. Because that is exactly what I did - started to question my whole history and it is very destabilizing.
This is so helpful i could scream. Seeing progress in action , gives so much hope☺️🤩🤗🤗
10:30 narc mothers
12:36 bragging
14:45 can’t change
18:54 phases
Thank you Dr. Ramani for your openness.
Dr Ramani You are devine and your menages are great.Lisa you are outstanding !!!! Thank your all you broadcast !!!
They will also cause you Bankruptcy if given the chance.
Dr.R you are awesome!
Thank you, Lisa and Dr. Ramani. This conversation was extremely cathartic. ❤
One thing that I feel Dr. Ramni neglect to answer is . How to bridge the gap after 7 years of narcissistic abuse relationship. After I delete all the pic, all the memories , all the post's. What do I tell people ? What do I say to my self ? Where have you been in past 7 years ?
Honesty is the only path forward. No matter the situation or thought, be honest with yourself first and then you can be okay with being honest with others. It is okay.
(I stayed in my narcissist relationship, for now, best option for me; but I do not hide the bs or truth in any way, I am in acceptance, honesty is freeing.)
I was ready to hear ALL for this conversation ❤ thank you both so much for this authentic calibration xxx
I am just now working on a very similar path as Dr Ramani. I wish she was practicing near me because I would love to pick her brain and get some advice from her 😢 I feel like she was telling MY story when she was talking about her life
Excellent education. I love both of you amazing ppl! Thank you! So many thoughts..& “drop the mic” moments!
Jenna Kutcher interview was great. Momprenurship was gaining momentum when I was a young mum and it has been a blessing I worked out how to be the mum i wanted to be.
I have to say though stay at home mums and society need to understand what non financial contribution means. They are contributing in so many ways.
I’m not sure how or why but I learned to listen to the whispers.
Life school, love it.
Yes be the contradiction, by boxing ourselves in to a life we thought we wanted when we’re in our 20’s and attaching the work we do to our identity closes you off to what’s possible.
Cultural and religious pressures also make it worst for the person subject to narcissistic abuse.
They don't understand narcissism and don't realize they are equipping these people to be better abusers, especially when they make them leaders in the church. Since mine became a Christian he is only gotten better at manipulating and much better at convincing the church that he's somebody he's not and it makes me so sick.
Lisa is a wonderful host, this episode has been very helpful ❤
I really identify with w.hat you said the effects were on you and how hard you tried to constantly please....I still do but I finally at 76 have boundaries. My tormentor died 7 tears ago, despite us separating many years before, and I finally felt free to live my life. There was profound damage over the years but like you I feel that I learnt so much that has been beneficial, about myself, him, and assessing my other relationships. I have profound admiration for you....ypu knowledge, how articulate you are in expressing that knowledge, as well as your beauty and warmth. Also thank ypu Lisa for your obvious intelligence and ability to ask questions that elicit meaningful answers from Dr Ramani. Oh, how I wish I could meet you both!!! Please come to New Zealand on a talking tour 😊
33:59 wow this is exactly what children tell themselves when they have narcissistic parent(s)
It is hard already seeing that you go through the emotional abuse! For some reason I don't like to hear that Dr Amani gone through and still carrying scars from it! Is it because of the character we are and it will always be with us, even after knowing 😢😢😢
Keep telling yourself, No, it will Never Get Better with a Narc.Ever, as in NEVER. RUN.
I am watching your videos from France, thank you so much for this content, these videos are so interesting and helping so much to understand what we, ''victims'' of narcissist abuse, went through. Dr Ramani is really the best. And you Lisa are a great Host. Merci beaucoup ! ❤
The rumination is something six months later I still am going through. She cheated, denied, and lied and told me I was crazy. She would never admit it. I asked her just to tell me if she was and she called me boring. She finally left me and made me feel like it was my fault. I never understood how I was dropped like I never mattered. Her friend was the one who finally told me about everything simply because she also eventually screwed her friend over in business. Turns out she left me so the new man would not find out about me. All the time and effort I put in for love was for nothing.
Love these genuine/autentic conversations. You are awesome Lisa and Dr Ramani ❤
Much love
Everything is so me!! Learned a Lot! Thank you ladies!! Lisa your voice is firm and confident, and gives me energy, I can listen to you all day!
Wow. Lisa knowing not to respond with "Ok" is huge. This conversation explains why the thumbs up emoji always bothers me.
YOU ARE AMAZING! You have helped me immensely!
Dr. Ramani’s videos saved my life, not in the sense that I was going to perish physically, but in the sense that I was going to perish as an individual with an identity. I am so grateful to have found her channel; it gave me clarity and enabled me to regain a sense of self.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. You're courage is helping me give myself grace and understanding. This hits hard, right where it matters right here, right now.
I'm not even sure if my relationship is narcissistic. It's so confusing. But most things she says resonates. He doesn't belittle me to my face but sometimes with actions. Has started saying certain friends are crazy or not good friends. I'm not sure
They don't have to be a narcissist for you to feel like something is off. I say this bc I focused so much in, Is he or isn't he", it didn't matter. A lot of my emotional torment came from having to stuff my intuition and feelings that something's off, unsafe, receptive. Those feelings didn't fit what I wanted to believe about them and the pain if seeing them in a different light was too painful. Now 6 years in and I am experiencing chronic pain and am autoimmune disorder. The emotional grief is far worse now than it would have been if I had nipped it in the bud, my first instincts. Don't do that to yourself. You have more to loose moving forward when you have doubts. Don't let him make you feel unsure of yourself or insecure. He doesn't have to be a narcissist to be considered harmful to you. A man should love and nurture and protect a woman, some are could at pretending so pray and ask God to give you wisdom and discernment. I am in such grief bc I didn't listen and married this man. The pain is complex. Love yourself
PLEASE TALK ABOUT SIBLINGS!!!
Thank you so much to this doctor this really helped me and enlightened me.