Divorcing a Disabled Spouse: 3 Things You Should Consider First

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  • Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
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    When your spouse has a disability of any type, it adds an additional layer of stress to your divorce. Now this already emotionally tumultuous time is filled with extra responsibilities and concerns that must be addressed before your divorce can be finalized.

Комментарии • 98

  • @furryplantsandcoins9070
    @furryplantsandcoins9070 3 года назад +13

    Can you do an update on this please. I'm disabled and I'm in the process of a divorce. I've been married for 8 years but together on off for 20 years. I have a daughter but he's not the father. Some of the things you talk about wasn't on the paperwork for divorce. Errands, help with physical needs, etc. Yes my husband did help me with this stuff but where and how do I get this help?

    • @wjweaver63
      @wjweaver63 Год назад +1

      Hello im so sorry im in the exact same boat right now and its awful

    • @bonnieupton4114
      @bonnieupton4114 8 месяцев назад

      Me too

  • @christiejensen4708
    @christiejensen4708 5 лет назад +9

    Thank you much for this video!!! I was diagnose at 30 with Breast Cancer 3 years after we married. I was married for 9 years & lived together for 6 years before we married. Watching this video gave me hope. When I filed for divorce I was in remission for 6 years. Even though in remission there are still scans, blood work & imaging when lumps are found. He lied in court about his earnings to avoid spousal support. Sickening, disturbing & sad what people are capable of. He has told me on several occasions that he couldn't afford to take care of me. People like you are definitely needed to prep for divorce prior to meeting with an attorney.

    • @anitramoore9514
      @anitramoore9514 4 года назад +3

      Christie Jensen that is horrible!! People can be so damn cruel! I’m dealing with an autoimmune issues and he was hiding money and cheating!

  • @timgross16901
    @timgross16901 Год назад +1

    H hello ty for the start of learn advices.
    However yes it's all so confusing and emotional.
    I hv no idea how to even start a procedure, let along efford it!!
    Being my situation me and my x wife are on disability..
    Her on SSI / ME ON SSID..???? SSDI

  • @Dani-cg9hn
    @Dani-cg9hn 3 года назад +3

    Divorce and Disability is very difficult to listen 👂 🎧 👂 Especially, when you speak of having help to appointments, etc.
    At the time, I could not understand, but something was amiss in the way I was being treated. I just couldn’t tell what it was. There was not 1 dr visit. Only taken in/out of hospital. I understand now. It was a divorce mindset.

    • @laurellawson9153
      @laurellawson9153 3 года назад +3

      Wow! Glad you made this comment. I never realized until listening to this and seeing your comment. I thought it was SO cruel that my husband wouldn't help me with things like getting to and from medical and rehabilitation. He was thinking strategically all along but stayed with me for some time because he expected I would have a financial settlement from the accidents that left me disabled. Wow.

  • @natalie9884
    @natalie9884 3 года назад +2

    What about if the disability is a mental one? Spouse divorcing me and I need psychological help and don’t have the $. Can’t get a job right now until I do. It’s like I’m stuck. I really feel at a loss and just thrown away and left to die.

  • @debraglenn9080
    @debraglenn9080 4 года назад +3

    I'm disabled and have press anxiety, panic attacks, mental emotional, my minds goes into another parallel universe, the court's threw me under the bus he lied so much he inflicted intentional harm to me and my son and grandsons. I didn't know what was happening he put me in jail 9 times, he brought his girlfriend to divorce and I was handcuffed and shackled how embarrassing I trip over my shackles .He purjered himself hid money,assetts,profit sharing,investments through Boeing he was an engineer damn good money he turned my family and neighbors against me,after 26 years they all knew me,I took care of the mothers, children,he destroyed my life,slandered me,defamation of character, financial ruined,I live in my car all alone 62 woman who up against sex offenders,rapest,theives,my life is in danger.please please I'm dying out here,it should be illegal I wasn't competent and my doctors have documentation, 26 years of marriage I raised his son worked and kept home clean. He made me look like a criminal.

    • @anitramoore9514
      @anitramoore9514 4 года назад +4

      Debra Glenn sounds like a con artists took advantage of you! These people can turn your own family against you!!!!

    • @lindacagle5280
      @lindacagle5280 Год назад +2

      You just described a Covert narcissist the man I am divorcing is the same type of low life of a man.We need to teach our girls always have there own money and career.

  • @roddywilliams9957
    @roddywilliams9957 Год назад +1

    This video was so helpful to me as I am on Social Security disability and just happened to marry my hand therapist I shattered both elbows years ago, falling 25 feet off a ladder and shattered both elbows developing RSD CRPS, debilitating nerve disease I’ve been married to my wife for four years, who owns a penthouse in the Bronx house in Florida that she collects rent on investments in many stocks it looks like we’re going to get divorced and I just filed for emergency spousal support pendant light maintenance? Has anyone ever heard of this? She’s telling my friend she’ll never have to pay a dime that she spoke to an attorney that said she won’t have to give me anything. Should I be panicked?

  • @bonnieupton4114
    @bonnieupton4114 8 месяцев назад +1

    What if both are disabled? With his Ss and pension he makes at least 4 x more than I.

    • @bonnieupton4114
      @bonnieupton4114 6 месяцев назад

      Really would like a😢 answer to this

  • @Mrs_Canary
    @Mrs_Canary 3 года назад +2

    So ur stuck n a financial marriage even after the divorce!?

  • @leshiaweekes-hart1066
    @leshiaweekes-hart1066 3 года назад +1

    I've also been diagnosed with PST because of his abandonmenr,and new diagnosis of the paralysis ,and him stopped paying on my medical insurance, o1,2020 from his employer, he was helping me with my baths,lifting, I'm diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I can't get my Nails,or feet done no more,I use to get them done every 2 weeks,I can't even do my hair,he stop paying for my hair to get done.He just abandoned me.His child too.I need help,

  • @ams3344
    @ams3344 4 года назад +2

    What if u become disabled after the divorce of 15/ years with a child?

  • @melissataylor7146
    @melissataylor7146 5 лет назад +4

    I need help now

  • @germanboy5392
    @germanboy5392 5 лет назад +3

    My Wife can't get a disability or even medical insurance because I make too much with my retirement even though it's only 35k...we are considering divorce just so she can get insurance and a disability....I already live with my Mom as a caretaker anyways...

  • @blindgoddiss43_12
    @blindgoddiss43_12 3 года назад +2

    In my situation both me and my husband has a disability so what can I do to get a divorce?

    • @theodricdaniel5768
      @theodricdaniel5768 2 года назад +3

      I'm in the same boat I'm type1 diabetic with Vision impairment and other diabetic complications and my spouse has kidney failure

    • @bonnieupton4114
      @bonnieupton4114 8 месяцев назад

      Needs answers

  • @worldtraveler303
    @worldtraveler303 2 года назад +1

    I wish I can say the state cares. Both attorneys snd my spouse seemed to not care about the seriousness of my health situation. Almost died in September and it seemed they went hard to try to make the divorce go through when I couldn’t even respond. I’m home but have really bad days from head to toe. I don’t want to drag it out but being disabled sucks and want to put my foot down.

  • @faithtoken5010
    @faithtoken5010 Год назад

    I have advanced CHF and my husband wants to leave me penniless by working under the table. He works construction so it's very common to find work in that field that allows this. We have a daughter who has functioning autism and is 28. She has ALWAYS lived with us. He doesn't plan on supporting her either. She has worked but it's very difficult to find employment for her.

  • @leshiaweekes-hart1066
    @leshiaweekes-hart1066 3 года назад

    I have a existing physical disability, couldn't get soc.sec. my spouse made too much money,he abandoned his family, I ended up he used to help me also with my baths,and things that would make me hurt cause my spinal stenosis, and degenertive disease, of the cervical, and lumbar spines,u ended up injured in a wheelchair over a year,now I'm diagnosed with paralysis He hasn't supported me financially for over 18 months,or his daughter, I'm I been living on loans, when i can get help.And then he stopped paying medical insurance through his employer on me ,he has me untreated for my health no Doctor,I'm getting ready to get him in to Court for spousal support. And Family court.

  • @bonnieupton4114
    @bonnieupton4114 8 месяцев назад

    Get a prenup

  • @lTandermthrust2001
    @lTandermthrust2001 Год назад

    Wow! More reason why men stop getting marry. The simple solution is don't get marry.

  • @michaelvalone907
    @michaelvalone907 5 лет назад +2

    what if both spouse's are disabled and only collect social security disability?

    • @germanboy5392
      @germanboy5392 5 лет назад +1

      Get divorced so both can get a disability plus benifits..screw the system

    • @bonnieupton4114
      @bonnieupton4114 8 месяцев назад

      That's not what she is asking

  • @garyharris4296
    @garyharris4296 3 года назад +1

    I'm disabled and been legally separated from my wife since 2012 she hooked on drugs and somehow claimed this year and got my last 2 stimulus checks what do I do I can't afford a lawyer

  • @randomvicky939
    @randomvicky939 2 года назад +3

    Thank you . I’m disable divorcing a narcissistic after 17 years . He’s not aware about all these .

  • @godisthedotntheeye696
    @godisthedotntheeye696 4 года назад +1

    What state are you in?

  • @luanntexascitizen4345
    @luanntexascitizen4345 6 лет назад +5

    Very interesting segment. I disabled and on ssdi. So is my husband, but he makes 3x the amount that I do. What abput when both are disabled? It happens!

    • @germanboy5392
      @germanboy5392 5 лет назад

      Then the one Spouse cannot get a disability...just get divorced and live together..

    • @timgross16901
      @timgross16901 Год назад +1

      I and you are on both pages.. I'm very interested in any knowledge you may share... Please and God bless

    • @timgross16901
      @timgross16901 Год назад

      I left because of being mentally abused!! Cheated on... And just insanely not healthy environment.
      So I took some of my personal belongings.
      But still have so much of my items I and my Deceased Mom had/there!!!
      How do I get my stuff when every time I ask to, I get into a talking dispute. And told I'm not to come.
      Married for 20 ish yrs, invested years of remodeling /reconstruction house(15 years of labor on making home improvement s.

    • @bonnieupton4114
      @bonnieupton4114 8 месяцев назад +1

      Yes. We are both disabled but he makes 4 x what I do. What happens then?

    • @bonnieupton4114
      @bonnieupton4114 8 месяцев назад

      Sure would like a answer to this question

  • @not_today_satan_7
    @not_today_satan_7 3 года назад +1

    What if the receiving spouse became disabeled after the divorce?

    • @WouldntULikeToKnow.
      @WouldntULikeToKnow. 2 года назад +3

      What would your ex spouse have anything to do with that?

  • @carin9568
    @carin9568 2 года назад

    Yes my husband is a Amazing he does it all...
    I'm Paralyzed quadruplegic

  • @blindgoddiss43_12
    @blindgoddiss43_12 3 года назад

    I'm vision impaired and my husband has a mental disability and it's not working out!

  • @maripazcorbett2448
    @maripazcorbett2448 3 года назад

    I'm on disability 8 yrs. now n my spouse divorce me he wants me to get jst the equity of the home n nothing else we even married for 16yrs. What will I do

  • @qjustblessed1
    @qjustblessed1 3 года назад +3

    What if you are the disabled spouse and that's the reason the other spouse is divorcing you? I am disabled and i use a cane and I am being retired by the military. My wife wants half of my retirement, alimony, and child support. I can't work, barely being able to cook, can't clean, and daily chores are very very hard.-(Update- divorce is finalized and she got half of my retirement. She texts me when it’s time for her half (where’s my retirement check) it’s a slap in the face every-time I see my uniform. This woman cheated at least 8 times I know of. If your the bread winner your spouse will get half doesn’t matter in Florida. Even if she cheated, drank all the time instead of trying to better herself, constantly quit jobs when told something she disagrees with. I was able to talk her out of the and child support issue but even though I pay all the bills for our child who is 15. Sad part my oldest doesn’t even talk to her because of all her lies. Anyway you all stay blessed and sorry for the novel.

    • @chadguindon6909
      @chadguindon6909 2 года назад +3

      It is selfish not to do what your spouse would do for you if you were disabled and needy. The spouse's family and friends would hate you. Think about how that spouse would feel...hurt, abandoned and neglected. I am so sorry your wife did that to you, that was incredibly selfish.

    • @qjustblessed1
      @qjustblessed1 2 года назад +2

      @@chadguindon6909 They didn’t hate me when she was unable to do things after almost dying from a blood transfusion and I was off work for 3 weeks and then my god parent came down for 2 weeks then my parents for 3 weeks. She was complaining then or doing the times she had surgery and I took off for 2 weeks each of the 3 times. Bottom line she ain’t got excuses, she just worthless.

    • @jonathanm9637
      @jonathanm9637 2 года назад +2

      Thats why im not getting married. You now know what she was after all along

    • @chadguindon6909
      @chadguindon6909 2 года назад +1

      @@jonathanm9637 She was after your money and physical body strength.

    • @captaineri.223
      @captaineri.223 2 года назад

      Kids are dead

  • @shespeaks1971
    @shespeaks1971 5 лет назад

    What about divorce 5 mo married w a pressured prenup and 2 mo after eloping, the man snapped (CPTSD, CEN [Childhood Emotional Neglect], Alexithymia, Alters [personalities]), emotional neglect and a confession in writing and audio. Can the prenup be challenged. Can the spouse with these mental issues be sued for deception (he snapped day 2 and it escalated to extreme emotional abuse by month 2).

  • @southernutaharmwrestling2903
    @southernutaharmwrestling2903 5 лет назад +1

    Question, I supported my spouse while she stayed home for 12 years of marriage the last two years I started getting disability she is still never worked now she is divorcing me and she has people telling her to go after me for spousal support, I started working a part-time job, will she get any kind of money out of me ? what do you think?

    • @summersnow1779
      @summersnow1779 5 лет назад

      She can. If she pursues it by getting a lawyer. My wife just did the exact same thing to me. I supported her for 10 years while I was still working. I lost my job of 35 years. After that I bounced around for about 4 years with part time jobs. I ended up having to do a harder labor job and screwed my back up. Plus developed emphysema and cancer at the same time. I went on disability. My retirement money that I received didn't last long without having a full check every week. After 2 years of living on SSDI pay she decides to leave and finds some rich guy to live with. Then turned around and wanted to get more money out of me. Her problem though trying to get money from me is she's living with another man. So I think if she pursues, she won't prevail. If your ex is out on her own, she may win some money from you.

    • @southernutaharmwrestling2903
      @southernutaharmwrestling2903 5 лет назад +3

      @@summersnow1779 talked to an attorney, I guess the only time they do it in Utah is if there is adultery, now I know why she's lying and telling everybody that I cheated on her....

    • @summersnow1779
      @summersnow1779 5 лет назад

      Good luck man. I don't know what is happening in this country with women. Some kind of gold digging problem is going on. My ex was my best friend until the money ran out. She didn't want to help us out with maybe getting a job. She just went out and found this guy that she had been keeping in contact with on facebook that she knew had money. I hope you don't have to go through hell proving yourself.

    • @southernutaharmwrestling2903
      @southernutaharmwrestling2903 5 лет назад +1

      @@summersnow1779 yeah, I supported mine for 13 years, she homeschooled our children, we always raised our children in the church anti divorce, and me on disability the last 2 years, got into it one night, and Bam, let the attack begin, she's never been about money, " I thought " now it's all about destroying me...and what she can take....

    • @summersnow1779
      @summersnow1779 5 лет назад +1

      I think it's women's hormone's that must affect their minds as they get older. How many children did you have together ? If she took them, I'm sure she will try for alimony for child support. Of course the children have to be taken care of one way or another. It's harder on them if they are still young and don't understand it all.

  • @melissataylor7146
    @melissataylor7146 5 лет назад +1

    I need help a Divorce

  • @rockymntnliberty
    @rockymntnliberty 6 лет назад +7

    Your presentation made it very clear that a person would be very foolish to marry a person with a disability. Okay, so I'm a damn fool.

    • @luanntexascitizen4345
      @luanntexascitizen4345 6 лет назад

      Son of Liberty , yes I agree. My brother married a blind woman and they had 3 kids. Then she decided she no longer wanted to be a mom and a wife. He got 2/3 custody of the children and also paid her spousal support for many years. She finally remarried after the youngest graduated high school. It cost him dearly in mental and financial ways.

    • @jeanniebrasher1982
      @jeanniebrasher1982 6 лет назад +1

      I worked at helping my ex husband to try to get an education so our children would not suffer We were in the Air Force for 10 years and we had 2 children when he was going to school before he left the Air Force and after. We were living with his mother and i was working.He came home one day and he left us and called and told me to get a divorce cause he got a girl pregnant and i and my children were homeless cause his mother sold the house. He told me if i wanted money from him i had to go get a divorce. I did not know what to do cause we needed his money to live. He went to work for Union Pacific and went up to a senior auditor and made a big salary. After the divorce his son and i become mentally disabled from the divorce and i am receiving social security and his son finally filed after 22. so he us not abled to collect and us on ssi.which does not give him enough insurance that he needs. We have neen homeless and lived in poverty most of our lives .My children were 10 and 5 when he left and i was 28. I never married cause the minister said u will be married til death do u part.For that reason and my children came first.What i am getting at is Union Pacific gave him a loop hole where he only had to pay in to social security only a low amount and his 401k and pension etc. went toward his retirement
      His son who is living with me and i are living in a one bedroom and cannot afford to move and barely make it Union Pacific is offering me 500 a month which puts me in a deeper hole I have to take it cause i am getting ssi also. I received only 350 a month and did not ask fpr more when he was living quite well and is living really nice
      I want to know if i can get an attorney to recieve a lump son so we can buy a car and better place to live
      I feel like Union Pacific is throwing us under the bus cause of the loop hole. He retired from Union Pacific when he was62 and i waited to full retirement age to be told we would be worse off

    • @anitramoore9514
      @anitramoore9514 4 года назад +2

      Son of Liberty I have health issues and would never marry again because of the morals and lack of commitment people have to each other. Whole different era now with these upgrades.

    • @Dani-cg9hn
      @Dani-cg9hn 3 года назад

      @@jeanniebrasher1982 I’m so sorry you, and your children, have had to go through this hard time for this time. You have tried your best. You, have been faithful.
      Ms Jeannie Brasher, know the Lord is watching, and keeping the score . The record is not erased in the courts of heavens. Ms. Jeannie, I know, your post is 3 years ago. But our time, is not God’s time.
      Please, would you come back for an update? I would like for you to look up Pastor Raphael Grant from Eagles Chapel. If I can, I will post a link to his Sunday sermon here for you to find him. Praying for you and your children.

    • @morganwk2753
      @morganwk2753 Год назад

      Abelism

  • @joejarvis2497
    @joejarvis2497 3 года назад +1

    Caretaker? Do you mean caregiver? If you don’t know the difference when it comes to complex issues surrounding disability and divorce then how can we trust your advice?

  • @MaddieC
    @MaddieC 6 лет назад +1

    My boyfriend has suffered memory loss due to a medical accident. He got a huge money settlement for it. He was married for 20 years. His ex wife was a nanny for 5 years to help him through law school. After that she never worked a day in her life and layed in bed. She was mentally ill and depressed and did not help with the kids. My boyfriend ran a law practice and took care of the kids by himself for that peroid of time. When he got sick and could no longer work. She left him for another man 4 years ago in colorado. She is currently trying to divorce/rob him for half of his medical settlement. He has no lawyer so he is currently in jail for "contempt of court" since he did not have a lawywer. And she has racked up over $186,000 worth of lawyer fees that she sued him in court to pay. But due to the fact that he lost half of his face and scraped his brain in the accident and also has memory loss due to the coma he was in. He lost 50lbs due to stress, poor diet and medical issues from the stress of his divorce. It makes in complicated. He has late onset diabetes 2 and used to take care of her since she would not work or get out of bed for many years. She is currently getting $5,000 per month from his medical settlement. Which he has NO access too. He is currently living off of me and luckily has Medicaid because he is in and out of the hospital constantly. He recently even had part of his leg cut off due to stress, diabetes and food poisoning. What type of lawyer can he hire? He is currently in jail this week only for contempt of court. They legally were both granted a "divorce" but still need to settle the terms of it. What kind of laywer do I hire? He currently has a huge medical settlement that he cannot touch due to the divorce. She is trying to take him for half. Which is not fair since he has such serious medical issues. He is the only one who ever helps take care of his kids. His Mother is currently taking care of his 17 year old daughter. Yet his ex wife got full custody since he did not know about the hearings. He has major memory loss due to the medical accident. He keeps getting taken advantage of by this evil woman who cheated on him, and lied about it. She committed fraud they have proof in an email that she sent when she left. When he asked if she had met someone else? She said no, but she has been living with this man Robert for over 4 years and he currently supports her. She still does not work and just squanders her alimony. He also had given her $50,000 from the settlement and a car. In order to try to "butter her up while they were talking about the divorce. But he got upset once he found out through their daughter that she cheated and lied. I know Colorado is a non-fault state. His ex is great at working the system and Marc is a seriously kind and giving sweet man with a medical disability. Who do we hire? 720 987 5607 please text or reply?

    • @SH-je4qg
      @SH-je4qg 5 лет назад

      Damn! That's horrible!!! I don't think this video applies to something like that. This is about the disabled not being taken advantage of. She sounds like a witch! I'm so sorry for him, you and anyone that cares about him. I hope she gets what's coming to her. Soon.

    • @bonnieupton4114
      @bonnieupton4114 8 месяцев назад +1

      Your boyfriend had his own practice? Something seems fishy here

  • @anitramoore9514
    @anitramoore9514 4 года назад +1

    Yep! Probably going to court becsue he doesn’t want to pay me spousal support.

    • @christiejensen4708
      @christiejensen4708 4 года назад +2

      Hi sweetheart - make sure you have an attorney who specializes in narcassistic abuse. It's a war but you can do it! Hugs💖

    • @anitramoore9514
      @anitramoore9514 4 года назад +1

      Christie Jensen not sure he understands he is an abusive man. It is a war but I’m a solider and will fight for our children!

  • @sergiocurioso5412
    @sergiocurioso5412 4 года назад

    My aunt is disabled from her legs, she use a wheelchair and she is married for 12 years but now she wants to divorce, is it possible that she has a chance of permanent spousal support? Or how many years she can get?

  • @debraglenn9080
    @debraglenn9080 4 года назад +2

    How do I get support from x when he trashed me in court on purpose so he wouldn't have to pay spousal support? Married 26 years and on disability when he filed for divorce,I didn't have a clue or chance.I couldn't understand what or why,he made me look like a criminal so he could keep everything. He his money and assets and I wasn't able to comprehend what was happening he had me arrested on false accusations and lies.I'm homeless because he set out to intentionally hurt me,he said he was going to destroy my life.

    • @christiejensen4708
      @christiejensen4708 4 года назад +2

      This is so disturbing. I'm sorry to hear this. They are so incredibly cruel it's horrible. I hope you are doing ok. 💖

  • @PGTallChic1980
    @PGTallChic1980 6 лет назад +1

    I'm a wife. I have multiple mental illnesses along will a back surgery and Spondilosys or narrowing of the spinal canal. Its a painful 6 months so far. Not only mental but physical. I have a handicap tag too. Alabama

  • @dann551
    @dann551 4 года назад

    I am Disabled in California. Need divorce legal advice , please anyone know where I can get low cost legal aid?

    • @anitramoore9514
      @anitramoore9514 4 года назад +1

      D Cal call your attorney generals office or any attorny office and they can give you a number for legal aid.

  • @feigna-xj8rg
    @feigna-xj8rg 4 года назад

    Please answer this situation? Married 24 yrs , 2 boys together, Im on ssdi on my record. Divorced 3 years ago and I have custody of our youngest son age 13. My ex died young at 49 this past month. He never remarried nor have I. Do I get survivors benefit as parent caring for our child? And does our son get a benefit also?? Or just one? Im 47 and know at age 50 I can take 71% my ex husband ss.

  • @midnitqween8609
    @midnitqween8609 3 года назад

    💯💯💕