honestly, I think your point about your dream relationship being a bit more "transactional" is so valid. Whenever I compare my current relationship vs my previous ones, I can tell that my current one is working so well because my husband can basically do everything I suck at and vice-versa. Like, he hates driving, has a terrible sense of orientation and sucks at finance stuff, so I take care of those things while he does the cooking and much more cleaning than I do. As stupid as it sounds, the fact that I find joy in things he hates and vice-versa means we can minimize the "pains" in each-other's lives, if that makes sense. at this point, I just think that people who see this kind of "completion" in a relationship as transactional just haven't been lucky enough to experience it. Knowing that I get to make my husband's life a bit more enjoyable by taking over things he hates makes me so happy, and I know he feels the same about taking care of tasks I hate doing. anyway... hope this makes sense lol. my rant's over
Being Chinese, I also had a list...not as long as yours but pretty similar. That said, I married someone totally opposite from my 'type'. We met in college. I was the one feverishly taking notes in class and he was snoring sitting in the back row. As a music major, I had to practice the piano at least 2 hrs/day. He was playing pool or out with the guys all hours of the night. Don't ask me how we clicked, but we did. To this day, I don't know why he pursued me. But he was very persistent. As much as he was a non-conformist, there was just 'something' that was so appealing. We've been married 10+ years with 2 beautiful girls. I lucked out. He's a good guy. Oh...he's Irish and is 6'1 🥰
I really feel you on the "smartness" part. It is difficult to be with someone who can't match you there, even when they are very genuine or accomplished. I was validated when my friend told me that i am smart and therefore, i would need someone who is equivalent.
I used to have a list too lol my husband checked nearly nothing on that list because after going through all qualifications of a man I can come up with, I never put “be a good person” “loves me for who I am” “cares for my feelings and supports me emotionally” “prioritizes me over himself” etc etc
I remember before I was married (I'm 30) I was with a very abusive white guy, and it was terrible. I ended up with a man from Egypt who truly cares for me. I agree that looking at how he treats his mom is good, my husband treats her like a queen and honestly it's so wonderful. I also find that looking at how he treats people "less than" them is important. I hate saying it like that, but I can't think of how else to say it. People who are under them on the career ladder, social ladder, or even people like janitors or waiters. If they treat those people terribly, there's honestly something wrong. You want them to respect everyone no matter what. I also think that the man should be passionate about what they love. My husband loves math and science and is genuinely passionate about it. The way he talks about it confuses me bc I don't understand math, but it made me fall in love because wow. The passion. This is getting long, so I'll stop now lmao but I hope you find someone great for you! You can do it!
I dated a lot of people that aesthetically were my type, but at the end of the day we did not have the same values and ways about life. My boyfriend of almost 3 years now was not someone I'd usually go out with and he surprised me in numerous ways. There are things that bother us about each other and we have our fair share of fights.. mostly due to learning how to communicate with one another (any two people would when they are close and have different learned behaviors from their family). Despite this I can't imagine ever feeling this security, closeness, and comfort with anyone else. Also many of your wants just sounds like a man who takes care of himself and is a passionate person. However, he won't be perfect and there will always be room for him to improve. Sometimes it takes someone who really loves them and knows them for anyone to change certain aspects about their life.
Frickin love this chat and the entertainment value of it, but I could not even imagine making my own list like this haha. Whilst knowing your worth is great, all people are complex and flawed. I could never ask someone else to be something that I’m not, and I know I have a lot of personality traits that are less than desirable. I really believe that a significant aspect of creating meaningful connection with others, in romantic relationships or otherwise, is being able to recognise and remember that everyone else’s interior lives, experiences and senses of self are just as nuanced and complicated as yours.
Love this ep!! I could honestly listen to you ramble for hours and this more casual kind of chaotic video was really fun!! (made sewing in my ends way more enjoyable lol) ❤❤
We do not need each other. We choose to be together. Some years it's fabulous. Some years not so much. We think differently on lots of things, but similar on the ones that are important. He is a linear thinker, which helps move us forward when we need it. I am the non linear thinker, which brings creativity, resourcefulness. Together we are greater than the sum. 42 years
u are so valid and never asking for too much! i grew up in very competitive schools and was the same double virgo way (except i have 5 virgo placements 😭❤️) where i refused to talk to anyone bc my standards were so high, i thought no one deserved me and i knew it would end in heartbreak so why even try? and then i fell in love with a guy i worked with who was everything i wanted in every most unexpected way and it completely changed my life 😭 and i learned spanish to have a relationship w his family! and now, my current boyfriend (different dude LMFAOOO that first one was traumatizing but anyways) is completely different from the first one AND from everything i would’ve thought i wanted but i love him so much... but even tho i changed so much thru everything, some things never did, like i still need to be with someone who’s smart and impresses me, someone hardworking who earns my respect, etc… and it ends up manifesting in ways that are sooo different from what i ever expected!!!!!! :D you’ll find that person and when u do, make sure they rly deserve u cuz u are a BAD ASS BITCHHHHH!!! hehehe :) ur 5’11” chinese american king with a good relation w his family but not in an oedepus complex way is coming 🙏
I need a guy that I can have deep conversation with but then be really silly with. Its so so so important that we can have fun but you need to comfort me and I will comfort you. it has to go both ways
I read a book about listing qualities you'd like in a partner. I did make a list. After dating my now husband for awhile i came across it, and he happens to check all those boxes. We are happily together for over 20 years, and married 17 years in June. ❤
I used to get told that I was asking for too much, or someone that didn’t exist. But now I have a boyfriend! (I’m 28). He is not perfect but he does show interest in being a better human being and treats me well, he does not want to hurt me and when we have problems, we talk about it. Again he is not perfect, but I was sure he was the one. It’s better to be alone than being with someone you don’t love, or someone who does not deserve you! Sometimes we idealize romantic relationships, and even the most perfect couples have problems. I wish you the best, thank you for speaking about this topic ❤
Oh my gooooood I agree so strongly on your point about understanding!! I HATE explaining myself to anyone for any reason, I feel like having to explain myself to someone I'm dating would be especially annoying, idk why I would even date someone who doesn't understand me.
Hi Grace! I was just rewatching your old coachella crochet top video and in the very beginning you briefly mentioned something about how you can rant for 20 minutes about why you’re not taking commissions often, and I thought… perhaps this could be your future podcast episode now that you have one? 😂 I’d be so interested in hearing your thoughts about how the commission system and slow (and often undervalued) craft such as crochet and knitting don’t have the best fit and stuff like that.
basketball is THEE hottest sport hands down!! i watched my bf play w his friends and i actually was sweating bc of how sexy he looked fhwnkcks also hi grace!! i've been following you since i started my crochet journey last December but this is my first comment on your channel ^^ i wanted to just share my own experience bc im blasian dating a korean guy and i was thinking abt how you were saying it would be hard to explain the culture of being chinese to a non-chinese person. i think if that person is wiling to learn, they might surprise you! i've been learning korean for years and im happy i never gave up because now i can talk with my future mother in law hehe
The assistant thing is literally you just wanting a man! A chivalrous man, Who treats you like a woman, and delights in doing things for you because you’re a woman-not because you can’t do them but because you’re special to them.
I watch this video so late, but I really relate to the intelligence part. like it's hard to admit fro most people, but your best relationships (friends, partner etc) will be with someone who has the same inteligence as you (emotional and intelectual). I'm neurodivergent, with a high potential and I'm hypersensitive and most of the time I struggle to speak with "normal" people because I just can't relate to them and they probably can't relate to me. We don't worry about the same stuff, we don't like to speak about the same stuff (neurotypical tends to speak about their life when neurodivergent usually prefer to speak about hobbies and things we're interested in). All of this makes it really hard to have a real connection with someone who doesn't have the same brain as you
hey grace! i was wondering what happened to the second part of your trip to maine? every now and then i go back and watch some of your older videos and noticed it was missing😢
I swear i thougt ive watched it and i remember her saying in the video there will be a link to part 2 bc the pt 2 video is actually unlisted. So you might want to go back and check pt 1
absolutely cackling about "... as far as I know.... unfortunately...." because yeah, if there's proof that sexuality is not a choice, that's it. wishing you luck!
Girl, my hope for your guy is that you are pleasantly surprised. Why? Because your list is 🤯. You want the simply dressed guy who has all of this Korean guy swag? lol you want the guy to have a strong sense of direction and also be a good cook. I would say start studying a map. It’ll give you a strong sense of direction. And get a few good solid recipes under your belt. Then your problem is solved on that front. Then you meet the guy and he may not be, a great dresser and you can help him with his style. And the rest of the stuff will fall into place. And if you’re with him for the rest of your life, he will get the dad bod. And you will just love him through that.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Actually, you sound like most of us single ladies. And if you think your chances of meeting someone on your level is slim, just think of me… you don’t know me from Suzanne or Mary but the bottom line is I am the poster child for singleness.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I started thinking about my must have a list in terms of values. For example, must have someone who values family, must have someone who values financial stability, must have someone who operates with integrity… You get the picture. The other things are just lifestyle and personality. And many of those things can change over time or with influence from others.
You are going to marry the guy you fall in love with, the one your family likes, the one that makes you laugh and makes your life feel full. There will be no check lists or plus and minuses.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
honestly, I think your point about your dream relationship being a bit more "transactional" is so valid. Whenever I compare my current relationship vs my previous ones, I can tell that my current one is working so well because my husband can basically do everything I suck at and vice-versa. Like, he hates driving, has a terrible sense of orientation and sucks at finance stuff, so I take care of those things while he does the cooking and much more cleaning than I do. As stupid as it sounds, the fact that I find joy in things he hates and vice-versa means we can minimize the "pains" in each-other's lives, if that makes sense.
at this point, I just think that people who see this kind of "completion" in a relationship as transactional just haven't been lucky enough to experience it. Knowing that I get to make my husband's life a bit more enjoyable by taking over things he hates makes me so happy, and I know he feels the same about taking care of tasks I hate doing.
anyway... hope this makes sense lol. my rant's over
this!! agree 100%
This is complementary and God orchestrated it this way. Mankind should not be alone. We should be with someone who helps us as much as we help them.
the idea of having a stable and predictable father is so unreal, i love that for you
"Love that you have a point of view...please keep it to yourself" was so real omg 😂
Being Chinese, I also had a list...not as long as yours but pretty similar. That said, I married someone totally opposite from my 'type'. We met in college. I was the one feverishly taking notes in class and he was snoring sitting in the back row. As a music major, I had to practice the piano at least 2 hrs/day. He was playing pool or out with the guys all hours of the night. Don't ask me how we clicked, but we did. To this day, I don't know why he pursued me. But he was very persistent. As much as he was a non-conformist, there was just 'something' that was so appealing. We've been married 10+ years with 2 beautiful girls. I lucked out. He's a good guy. Oh...he's Irish and is 6'1 🥰
I really feel you on the "smartness" part. It is difficult to be with someone who can't match you there, even when they are very genuine or accomplished. I was validated when my friend told me that i am smart and therefore, i would need someone who is equivalent.
I used to have a list too lol my husband checked nearly nothing on that list because after going through all qualifications of a man I can come up with, I never put “be a good person” “loves me for who I am” “cares for my feelings and supports me emotionally” “prioritizes me over himself” etc etc
I remember before I was married (I'm 30) I was with a very abusive white guy, and it was terrible. I ended up with a man from Egypt who truly cares for me. I agree that looking at how he treats his mom is good, my husband treats her like a queen and honestly it's so wonderful. I also find that looking at how he treats people "less than" them is important. I hate saying it like that, but I can't think of how else to say it. People who are under them on the career ladder, social ladder, or even people like janitors or waiters. If they treat those people terribly, there's honestly something wrong. You want them to respect everyone no matter what. I also think that the man should be passionate about what they love. My husband loves math and science and is genuinely passionate about it. The way he talks about it confuses me bc I don't understand math, but it made me fall in love because wow. The passion. This is getting long, so I'll stop now lmao but I hope you find someone great for you! You can do it!
I dated a lot of people that aesthetically were my type, but at the end of the day we did not have the same values and ways about life. My boyfriend of almost 3 years now was not someone I'd usually go out with and he surprised me in numerous ways. There are things that bother us about each other and we have our fair share of fights.. mostly due to learning how to communicate with one another (any two people would when they are close and have different learned behaviors from their family).
Despite this I can't imagine ever feeling this security, closeness, and comfort with anyone else.
Also many of your wants just sounds like a man who takes care of himself and is a passionate person. However, he won't be perfect and there will always be room for him to improve. Sometimes it takes someone who really loves them and knows them for anyone to change certain aspects about their life.
Frickin love this chat and the entertainment value of it, but I could not even imagine making my own list like this haha. Whilst knowing your worth is great, all people are complex and flawed. I could never ask someone else to be something that I’m not, and I know I have a lot of personality traits that are less than desirable. I really believe that a significant aspect of creating meaningful connection with others, in romantic relationships or otherwise, is being able to recognise and remember that everyone else’s interior lives, experiences and senses of self are just as nuanced and complicated as yours.
Love this ep!! I could honestly listen to you ramble for hours and this more casual kind of chaotic video was really fun!! (made sewing in my ends way more enjoyable lol) ❤❤
We do not need each other. We choose to be together. Some years it's fabulous. Some years not so much. We think differently on lots of things, but similar on the ones that are important. He is a linear thinker, which helps move us forward when we need it. I am the non linear thinker, which brings creativity, resourcefulness. Together we are greater than the sum. 42 years
she's so pretty, it's illegal 😭
u are so valid and never asking for too much! i grew up in very competitive schools and was the same double virgo way (except i have 5 virgo placements 😭❤️) where i refused to talk to anyone bc my standards were so high, i thought no one deserved me and i knew it would end in heartbreak so why even try? and then i fell in love with a guy i worked with who was everything i wanted in every most unexpected way and it completely changed my life 😭 and i learned spanish to have a relationship w his family! and now, my current boyfriend (different dude LMFAOOO that first one was traumatizing but anyways) is completely different from the first one AND from everything i would’ve thought i wanted but i love him so much... but even tho i changed so much thru everything, some things never did, like i still need to be with someone who’s smart and impresses me, someone hardworking who earns my respect, etc… and it ends up manifesting in ways that are sooo different from what i ever expected!!!!!! :D you’ll find that person and when u do, make sure they rly deserve u cuz u are a BAD ASS BITCHHHHH!!! hehehe :) ur 5’11” chinese american king with a good relation w his family but not in an oedepus complex way is coming 🙏
I need a guy that I can have deep conversation with but then be really silly with. Its so so so important that we can have fun but you need to comfort me and I will comfort you. it has to go both ways
I read a book about listing qualities you'd like in a partner. I did make a list. After dating my now husband for awhile i came across it, and he happens to check all those boxes. We are happily together for over 20 years, and married 17 years in June. ❤
I used to get told that I was asking for too much, or someone that didn’t exist. But now I have a boyfriend! (I’m 28). He is not perfect but he does show interest in being a better human being and treats me well, he does not want to hurt me and when we have problems, we talk about it. Again he is not perfect, but I was sure he was the one. It’s better to be alone than being with someone you don’t love, or someone who does not deserve you! Sometimes we idealize romantic relationships, and even the most perfect couples have problems. I wish you the best, thank you for speaking about this topic ❤
Oh my gooooood I agree so strongly on your point about understanding!! I HATE explaining myself to anyone for any reason, I feel like having to explain myself to someone I'm dating would be especially annoying, idk why I would even date someone who doesn't understand me.
Thank YOU for sharing this video with us, you're so real.
I totally relate about the struggle with dreaming or visualizing.
Hi Grace! I was just rewatching your old coachella crochet top video and in the very beginning you briefly mentioned something about how you can rant for 20 minutes about why you’re not taking commissions often, and I thought… perhaps this could be your future podcast episode now that you have one? 😂 I’d be so interested in hearing your thoughts about how the commission system and slow (and often undervalued) craft such as crochet and knitting don’t have the best fit and stuff like that.
why would you not be obsessed with me? That should be a daily affirmation quote 😂
basketball is THEE hottest sport hands down!! i watched my bf play w his friends and i actually was sweating bc of how sexy he looked fhwnkcks
also hi grace!! i've been following you since i started my crochet journey last December but this is my first comment on your channel ^^ i wanted to just share my own experience bc im blasian dating a korean guy and i was thinking abt how you were saying it would be hard to explain the culture of being chinese to a non-chinese person. i think if that person is wiling to learn, they might surprise you! i've been learning korean for years and im happy i never gave up because now i can talk with my future mother in law hehe
The assistant thing is literally you just wanting a man! A chivalrous man, Who treats you like a woman, and delights in doing things for you because you’re a woman-not because you can’t do them but because you’re special to them.
also tell me why you're inspiring me to make a crochet with me series hehe
I watch this video so late, but I really relate to the intelligence part. like it's hard to admit fro most people, but your best relationships (friends, partner etc) will be with someone who has the same inteligence as you (emotional and intelectual). I'm neurodivergent, with a high potential and I'm hypersensitive and most of the time I struggle to speak with "normal" people because I just can't relate to them and they probably can't relate to me. We don't worry about the same stuff, we don't like to speak about the same stuff (neurotypical tends to speak about their life when neurodivergent usually prefer to speak about hobbies and things we're interested in). All of this makes it really hard to have a real connection with someone who doesn't have the same brain as you
hey grace! i was wondering what happened to the second part of your trip to maine? every now and then i go back and watch some of your older videos and noticed it was missing😢
I swear i thougt ive watched it and i remember her saying in the video there will be a link to part 2 bc the pt 2 video is actually unlisted. So you might want to go back and check pt 1
I just checked and yeah theres a link to part 2
@@No1PlutoSupporterthanks so much 🙏🙏🙏
absolutely cackling about "... as far as I know.... unfortunately...." because yeah, if there's proof that sexuality is not a choice, that's it. wishing you luck!
thoughts and prayers to my fellow victims of the "is he mysterious and stoic, or is he just emotionally stunted?" game
Yass
I have been single my whole life. If it is meant to be then it will be
Girl, my hope for your guy is that you are pleasantly surprised. Why? Because your list is 🤯. You want the simply dressed guy who has all of this Korean guy swag? lol you want the guy to have a strong sense of direction and also be a good cook. I would say start studying a map. It’ll give you a strong sense of direction. And get a few good solid recipes under your belt. Then your problem is solved on that front. Then you meet the guy and he may not be, a great dresser and you can help him with his style. And the rest of the stuff will fall into place. And if you’re with him for the rest of your life, he will get the dad bod. And you will just love him through that.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Actually, you sound like most of us single ladies. And if you think your chances of meeting someone on your level is slim, just think of me… you don’t know me from Suzanne or Mary but the bottom line is I am the poster child for singleness.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I started thinking about my must have a list in terms of values. For example, must have someone who values family, must have someone who values financial stability, must have someone who operates with integrity… You get the picture. The other things are just lifestyle and personality. And many of those things can change over time or with influence from others.
Can you please post the pattern for the skirt pleaseeee
ma'am the pattern don't exist rn 🤣
What skirt
You're not looking for a lover. You're looking for a job applicant.
You are going to marry the guy you fall in love with, the one your family likes, the one that makes you laugh and makes your life feel full. There will be no check lists or plus and minuses.
Hi
Fun fact : go to the gym to Meet the gym guy organically 😅❤💘💘
first
Bro wants a robot not a boyfriend lol
it's true
I am unraveling a crochet project rn cuz I made it too big 🥲