The definition of 'favoritism' is showing partiality, to treat some better than others. What I've come to realize is that favoritism has a very selfish foundation, that says “What's in it for me?” The enemy wants to bring division anywhere he can, and, unfortunately, he's often successful with parents and grandparents. As a grandparent, I will admit that it is much easier to 'dote' on my grandjewels who live local to me than to 'dote' on those grandjewels who live away. I see that as a challenge, not as favoritism, but I wonder how my children view it. Whether the child is one's child or one's grandchild, he/she needs love and attention. How that's given should be, like discipline, done prayerfully and to their 'bent.' If we are attending to relationships prayerfully, there won't be favoritism...just a great amount of love. Thanks for the teaching, Dr. G.
Many parents show favoritism on their children and grandchildren and many people show favoritism not all on different types of relationships. My parents especially my mother shows favoritism on my brothers/sisters and grandchildren. I noticed since I was young my mother shows favoritism and like spending time with my younger siblings then me and my older brother and sister. But having JESUS in my heart ❤️ and my life made me realize that even though many people the world your family even your own husband and children may not appreciate value forget or reject you, JESUS loves us all unconditionally the same and doesn’t do favoritism like us people do between each other. Sometimes it bothers me but I’m like I leave it in the hands of GOD and I pray to help me follow JESUS ways cause the enemy will use people close to you to bring you down. Even though the world don’t love forget and reject you, JESUS CHRIST will ALWAYS be by our side love us all the same and NEVER reject us that’s the wonderfulness and precious of our Heavenly Father GOD and Lord JESUS CHRIST Amen Hallelujah GOD bless everyone and your precious families.
You're better than me because I gave up on my mom years ago. Her favoritism for our brother is blatantly done in our faces, yet she denies it.. There are 3 of us total and our brother was always enabled by her and still is til this day. He is 40, dropped out of college, quit his job, still isn't working after 16 years......YES 16 YEARS!!!.....lives with her and has major anger issues. She lies to people and tells them that he works at temp services, tells him to be quiet in the house while she's on the phone so that no one knows he's not working and takes up for him when he blows up on us because we ask him about getting a job or something simple like moving his car (that our mom bought him) so we could back out of the driveway. He feels like people tell him what to do so he thinks that anything asked of him is someone trying to dictate to him. In contrast, I moved back in temporarily for a few months because she was having some renovations done and needed me to supervise the contractor while she was out running errands. My brother gave her an attitude about supervising, so she let him off the hook. TYPICAL!!! Anyway, I didn't mind, as it was only for a few months and I was trying to start a business not far from where she lived. All I asked her to do, if 2 specific people called, was to tell them that I did not live there because there was some confusion online about my permanent address, which could mess up a loan I applied for. Anyway, she ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to do this. She said that she was not going to lie and kept asking me why I can't just be honest blah blah blah. I almost fell out of my chair when she said this because her entire handling of things with our brother revolves around lying to people. So all of a sudden, she had a moral compass?!!!!! Then when I brought up how she has no problem lying for our brother to cover up his status but yet, when I ask her to do this thing that actually is not a lie, she said that she never lied to people about our brother. I've literally heard her lie for him multiple times and she even asked me and my sister to lie for him. I was so angry, that my head started hurting and I had to go for a drive to be able to scream alone. I just gave you one example of how her treatment differs but there are so many more. Do you know how frustrating and hurtful it is to have witnessed her doing things and then she denies that she did them? Do you know how many times I've bitten my tongue and suppressed my emotions because she is a brick wall that refuses to understand my feelings? Do you know how it feels to be the children (me and my sister) who always give for birthdays, Mother's Day and Christmas and do favors to help her, yet she'll turn on us in a heartbeat and play the victim? I'm sure you can relate because I read what you posted. Sorry that this is so long but I need to vent as much as possible because it has consumed me, after years of the same cycle and the built up hatred. I always hear people say that forgiveness is not for the other person; but for you. However, how do you do this when they don't think they've done anything wrong and continue to hurt you? Again, sorry this is so long but maybe it'll help you to know that you're not alone and that some of us struggle with forgiveness and probably won't forgive. I wish that I was able to get to a place of just accepting that she will never change and that this is my life. I wish that I could get to where you are.
I'm in the same boat with forgiveness. My mother and enabling father have at times been more cruel than strangers to me but their son is their everything . Misogenists 😢No amount of praying and asking Jesus to take away the burden has helped me process my feelings...Their support of him and lack of thereof for me is crazy making
I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I JUST WANT TO DIE. ITS BEEN HAPPENING MY ENTIRE LIFE. MY MOTHER IS A "CHRISTIAN" GOES TO CHURCH , BIBLE STUDY ETC. ETC...VOLUNTEERS AT A HOMELESS SHELTER BUT TREATS ME LIKE IM NOTHING.
:( Psalms 94:22 But the LORD is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge. Revelation 21:7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
I'm just seeing this video and your comment. I hope you are doing well and have overcome the horrible treatment you received. Please don't ever give up. Other people, myself included, can definitely identify with you. You are never alone. God has a plan, no matter how impossible the situation may seem. There is always hope in Jesus.
Yes following God's word is good..but following it treating other people better than you own son is hypocrisy.my mother treat my siblings like they are the best and blessing, treating them so well that she wont even care if my siblings obeys her or do their chores, i am the one who takes the burden of doing them.. If i missed one chore.. I will be treated like a war criminal and she would even tell my father exaggerated stories about the incident. I am so fed up.i will move out of the house once i secured a stable job.she only treats me better when she needed money from mei regret quitting my previous job just to help her since she often complains how nobody helps her.
When I read your comment and saw the word hypocrisy used, I knew exactly where you were coming from. I wish that I'd come across this thread years ago, shortly after you posted this, because it's right up my alley. I surely hope that you're better now but if not, here's my story just so you know you're not alone. My mom always had favoritism for our brother and it it's blatantly done in our faces, even though she denies it.. There are 3 of us total and our brother was always enabled by her and still is til this day. He is 40, dropped out of college, quit his job, still isn't working after 16 years......YES 16 YEARS!!!.....lives with her and has major anger issues. She lies to to people and tells them that he works at temp services, tells him to be quiet in the house while she's on the phone so that no one knows he's not working and takes up for him when he blows up on us because we ask him about work or something simple like moving his car (that our mom bought him) so we could get back out of the driveway. He feels like people tell him what to do so he thinks that anything asked of him is someone trying to dictate to him. In contrast, I moved back in temporarily for a few months because she was having some renovations done and needed me to supervise the contractor while she was out running errands. My brother gave her an attitude about supervising, so she let him off the hook. TYPICAL!!!. Anyway, I didn't mind, as it was only for a few months and I was trying to start a business not far from where she lived. All I asked her to do, if 2 specific people called, was to tell them that I did not live there because there was some confusion online about my permanent address, which could mess up a loan I applied for. Anyway, she ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to do this. She said that she was not going to lie and kept asking me why I can't just be honest blah blah blah. I almost fell out of my chair when she said this because her entire handling of things with our brother revolves around lying to people. So all of a sudden, she had a moral compass?!!!!! Then when I brought up how she has no problem lying for our brother to cover up his status but yet, when I ask her to do this thing that actually is not a lie, she said that she never lied to people about our brother. I've literally heard her lie for him multiple times and she even asked me and my sister to lie for him. I was so angry, that my head started hurting and I had to go for a drive to be able to scream alone. I just gave you one example of how her treatment differs but there are so many more. Do you know how frustrating and hurtful it is to have witnessed her doing things and then she denies that she did them? Do you know how many times I've bitten my tongue and suppressed my emotions because she is a brick wall and loves turning the tables? Do you know how it feels to be the children (me and my sister) who always give for birthdays, Mother's Day and Christmas and do favors to help her, yet she'll turn on us in a heartbeat and play the victim? Sorry that this is so long but I need to vent as much as possible because it has consumed me, after years of the same cycle and the built up hatred. I wish that I was able to get to a place of just accepting that she will never change and this is my life but it's very hard. I can't tell you how many times I've wished that we could have a mediator that would be able to call her out on her BS. But that would never happen because she is one of those hush hush, put on a front for people, all about God type of people. Imagine always claiming God but doing the exact opposite of his teachings.
I never wanted marriage or kids and I think that the way my mom raised us has a bit to do with it. There are 3 of us but her favoritism towards our brother is so thick that it could be cut with a knife. It almost would not be as bad if she would just admit it, when we've called her out on it. But instead, she gets defensive and acts like me and my sister are the problem. There are too many examples to list of times when she's enabled, coddled, took up for and lied for him. I'll just ask......how many 40 year olds, who quit college, quit their job with no money saved, still not working after 16 years, lives at home and has major anger issues.......do you think would get away with this and be considered normal and not an enabled child? But if you were to bring this to my mom's attention, she would get defensive, turn it on you and then play the victim, like she's being attacked. Anyway, I know they always say that people turn into their parents. Therefore, I never wanted to have kids. I could vow to never be like my mom, and then end up doing exactly the opposite and treating my kids like she's done to us. I would never want a child to look at me like I'm a hypocrite and harbor secret hatred towards me.
Children are very observant even at a very young age. It's interesting how he said "sometimes the one who needs the most love is the most unlovable".
The definition of 'favoritism' is showing partiality, to treat some better than others. What I've come to realize is that favoritism has a very selfish foundation, that says “What's in it for me?” The enemy wants to bring division anywhere he can, and, unfortunately, he's often successful with parents and grandparents. As a grandparent, I will admit that it is much easier to 'dote' on my grandjewels who live local to me than to 'dote' on those grandjewels who live away. I see that as a challenge, not as favoritism, but I wonder how my children view it. Whether the child is one's child or one's grandchild, he/she needs love and attention. How that's given should be, like discipline, done prayerfully and to their 'bent.' If we are attending to relationships prayerfully, there won't be favoritism...just a great amount of love. Thanks for the teaching, Dr. G.
Many parents show favoritism on their children and grandchildren and many people show favoritism not all on different types of relationships. My parents especially my mother shows favoritism on my brothers/sisters and grandchildren. I noticed since I was young my mother shows favoritism and like spending time with my younger siblings then me and my older brother and sister. But having JESUS in my heart ❤️ and my life made me realize that even though many people the world your family even your own husband and children may not appreciate value forget or reject you, JESUS loves us all unconditionally the same and doesn’t do favoritism like us people do between each other. Sometimes it bothers me but I’m like I leave it in the hands of GOD and I pray to help me follow JESUS ways cause the enemy will use people close to you to bring you down. Even though the world don’t love forget and reject you, JESUS CHRIST will ALWAYS be by our side love us all the same and NEVER reject us that’s the wonderfulness and precious of our Heavenly Father GOD and Lord JESUS CHRIST Amen Hallelujah GOD bless everyone and your precious families.
You're better than me because I gave up on my mom years ago. Her favoritism for our brother is blatantly done in our faces, yet she denies it.. There are 3 of us total and our brother was always enabled by her and still is til this day. He is 40, dropped out of college, quit his job, still isn't working after 16 years......YES 16 YEARS!!!.....lives with her and has major anger issues. She lies to people and tells them that he works at temp services, tells him to be quiet in the house while she's on the phone so that no one knows he's not working and takes up for him when he blows up on us because we ask him about getting a job or something simple like moving his car (that our mom bought him) so we could back out of the driveway. He feels like people tell him what to do so he thinks that anything asked of him is someone trying to dictate to him.
In contrast, I moved back in temporarily for a few months because she was having some renovations done and needed me to supervise the contractor while she was out running errands. My brother gave her an attitude about supervising, so she let him off the hook. TYPICAL!!! Anyway, I didn't mind, as it was only for a few months and I was trying to start a business not far from where she lived. All I asked her to do, if 2 specific people called, was to tell them that I did not live there because there was some confusion online about my permanent address, which could mess up a loan I applied for. Anyway, she ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to do this. She said that she was not going to lie and kept asking me why I can't just be honest blah blah blah. I almost fell out of my chair when she said this because her entire handling of things with our brother revolves around lying to people. So all of a sudden, she had a moral compass?!!!!! Then when I brought up how she has no problem lying for our brother to cover up his status but yet, when I ask her to do this thing that actually is not a lie, she said that she never lied to people about our brother. I've literally heard her lie for him multiple times and she even asked me and my sister to lie for him. I was so angry, that my head started hurting and I had to go for a drive to be able to scream alone. I just gave you one example of how her treatment differs but there are so many more.
Do you know how frustrating and hurtful it is to have witnessed her doing things and then she denies that she did them?
Do you know how many times I've bitten my tongue and suppressed my emotions because she is a brick wall that refuses to understand my feelings? Do you know how it feels to be the children (me and my sister) who always give for birthdays, Mother's Day and Christmas and do favors to help her, yet she'll turn on us in a heartbeat and play the victim? I'm sure you can relate because I read what you posted. Sorry that this is so long but I need to vent as much as possible because it has consumed me, after years of the same cycle and the built up hatred. I always hear people say that forgiveness is not for the other person; but for you. However, how do you do this when they don't think they've done anything wrong and continue to hurt you? Again, sorry this is so long but maybe it'll help you to know that you're not alone and that some of us struggle with forgiveness and probably won't forgive. I wish that I was able to get to a place of just accepting that she will never change and that this is my life. I wish that I could get to where you are.
I'm in the same boat with forgiveness. My mother and enabling father have at times been more cruel than strangers to me but their son is their everything . Misogenists 😢No amount of praying and asking Jesus to take away the burden has helped me process my feelings...Their support of him and lack of thereof for me is crazy making
truth!!!!
Thanks for the teaching Dr. G.
I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I JUST WANT TO DIE. ITS BEEN HAPPENING MY ENTIRE LIFE. MY MOTHER IS A "CHRISTIAN" GOES TO CHURCH , BIBLE STUDY ETC. ETC...VOLUNTEERS AT A HOMELESS SHELTER BUT TREATS ME LIKE IM NOTHING.
:(
Psalms 94:22 But the LORD is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge.
Revelation 21:7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
Emmie Blue Amen
Dont give up. Get away from her. Find new ppl to love u. Replace her.💖💖💖
you're mother isn't a christian then,if you treats you like trash.
I'm just seeing this video and your comment. I hope you are doing well and have overcome the horrible treatment you received. Please don't ever give up. Other people, myself included, can definitely identify with you. You are never alone. God has a plan, no matter how impossible the situation may seem. There is always hope in Jesus.
Yes following God's word is good..but following it treating other people better than you own son is hypocrisy.my mother treat my siblings like they are the best and blessing, treating them so well that she wont even care if my siblings obeys her or do their chores, i am the one who takes the burden of doing them.. If i missed one chore.. I will be treated like a war criminal and she would even tell my father exaggerated stories about the incident. I am so fed up.i will move out of the house once i secured a stable job.she only treats me better when she needed money from mei regret quitting my previous job just to help her since she often complains how nobody helps her.
When I read your comment and saw the word hypocrisy used, I knew exactly where you were coming from. I wish that I'd come across this thread years ago, shortly after you posted this, because it's right up my alley. I surely hope that you're better now but if not, here's my story just so you know you're not alone.
My mom always had favoritism for our brother and it it's blatantly done in our faces, even though she denies it.. There are 3 of us total and our brother was always enabled by her and still is til this day. He is 40, dropped out of college, quit his job, still isn't working after 16 years......YES 16 YEARS!!!.....lives with her and has major anger issues. She lies to to people and tells them that he works at temp services, tells him to be quiet in the house while she's on the phone so that no one knows he's not working and takes up for him when he blows up on us because we ask him about work or something simple like moving his car (that our mom bought him) so we could get back out of the driveway. He feels like people tell him what to do so he thinks that anything asked of him is someone trying to dictate to him.
In contrast, I moved back in temporarily for a few months because she was having some renovations done and needed me to supervise the contractor while she was out running errands. My brother gave her an attitude about supervising, so she let him off the hook. TYPICAL!!!. Anyway, I didn't mind, as it was only for a few months and I was trying to start a business not far from where she lived. All I asked her to do, if 2 specific people called, was to tell them that I did not live there because there was some confusion online about my permanent address, which could mess up a loan I applied for. Anyway, she ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to do this. She said that she was not going to lie and kept asking me why I can't just be honest blah blah blah. I almost fell out of my chair when she said this because her entire handling of things with our brother revolves around lying to people. So all of a sudden, she had a moral compass?!!!!! Then when I brought up how she has no problem lying for our brother to cover up his status but yet, when I ask her to do this thing that actually is not a lie, she said that she never lied to people about our brother. I've literally heard her lie for him multiple times and she even asked me and my sister to lie for him. I was so angry, that my head started hurting and I had to go for a drive to be able to scream alone. I just gave you one example of how her treatment differs but there are so many more.
Do you know how frustrating and hurtful it is to have witnessed her doing things and then she denies that she did them?
Do you know how many times I've bitten my tongue and suppressed my emotions because she is a brick wall and loves turning the tables? Do you know how it feels to be the children (me and my sister) who always give for birthdays, Mother's Day and Christmas and do favors to help her, yet she'll turn on us in a heartbeat and play the victim? Sorry that this is so long but I need to vent as much as possible because it has consumed me, after years of the same cycle and the built up hatred. I wish that I was able to get to a place of just accepting that she will never change and this is my life but it's very hard. I can't tell you how many times I've wished that we could have a mediator that would be able to call her out on her BS. But that would never happen because she is one of those hush hush, put on a front for people, all about God type of people. Imagine always claiming God but doing the exact opposite of his teachings.
Can someone tell me is it a sin for parents to practise favouritism?
Look up verses that talk about partiality. Yes. It’s a sin.
I totally agree its a sin.
I never wanted marriage or kids and I think that the way my mom raised us has a bit to do with it. There are 3 of us but her favoritism towards our brother is so thick that it could be cut with a knife. It almost would not be as bad if she would just admit it, when we've called her out on it. But instead, she gets defensive and acts like me and my sister are the problem. There are too many examples to list of times when she's enabled, coddled, took up for and lied for him. I'll just ask......how many 40 year olds, who quit college, quit their job with no money saved, still not working after 16 years, lives at home and has major anger issues.......do you think would get away with this and be considered normal and not an enabled child? But if you were to bring this to my mom's attention, she would get defensive, turn it on you and then play the victim, like she's being attacked.
Anyway, I know they always say that people turn into their parents. Therefore, I never wanted to have kids. I could vow to never be like my mom, and then end up doing exactly the opposite and treating my kids like she's done to us. I would never want a child to look at me like I'm a hypocrite and harbor secret hatred towards me.