My son came back home from his Mission 6 month earlier due to an accident caused him to have brain concussion. After he recovered from his injury, he tried to date. And the first question every girl asked him was something like "So did you serve a Mission?" followed by "Did you complete 2 year-mission?" Then, "why did you come home earlier?" At the end, he married a career-driven woman who cared none of those. She loves my son unconditionally.
My WASP ex LDS sons gf here in utah is GASP a mexican non practicing Catholic and we couldn’t be happier. Sorry LDS girls you’ll be missing out on an honest hilarious brilliant handsome tall strong one and he gonna be making a lotta $$ one day 🥴🤷🏻♀️ Darnit if only whether you did or didn’t serve a mish wasn’t so unreasonably expected.
Who would have thought that i would be watching the story of Josh Coffins faith journey on Mormon Stories . All the support to the Coffin family. His friend group often intermingled with mine in high school and can't stress enough how great of a guy he is.
Can y'all go find that mission president and rip him a new one for me? I'm just an old, once Catholic now atheist lady trying to survive in the South, but Josh's mission story has me wild. Josh, you did not deserve that and it was a truly evil thing to do to you. You both are amazing and thank you for sharing all of this. ❤️❤️❤️
I *so* appreciate that y'all took the time to show Josh that he was ethically correct and sound in his refusal to turn in his peers and take care of himself. He so clearly needed to hear it and in that moment we got to see him have the maternal response he so deserved. Thank you.
That was so beautiful and touching. Margi is so kind and Josh deserves all the credit for his time and the honor of his ethics. I hope that made sense.
2:51:18 josh, thank you for crying. thank you for being vulnerable in these moments without shame. margie, thank you for hearing him. thank you for engaging with him and validating him over and over again. men's fears and pains and emotions regarding failure and not being seen and being heard are so often disregarded and minimized. this was very refreshing and very validating and very meaningful to watch. josh i am so sorry this happened to you and i hope you can heal and i hope you have people that love you and appreciate you and show you it every single day now. you deserve to be shown your worth and praised for your hard work. you and kim make an amazing team and when you sit together and speak together your fortitude shines. i'm sorry you have both had to be so resilient throughout all of this.
I want to let Josh know he truly was beyond his years when he chose to respect the privacy of the other Elders. Only a person with a true sense of honor would act in that capacity. The irony of an institution that considers itself honorable, could glean so much from your example. This to me is an uplifting story of strength… I could go on and on - Respect Josh !
Thanks John and Margie for showing so much compassion for Josh and Kim in telling their amazing story. It gave a lot of background to all the sad stories circulating right now involving child murder and child abuse. Josh and Kim I wish only the best for you both as you continue your journey. Your discernment and courage shines bright.
Thank you to Mormon Stories for explaining what scrupulosity is and how it impacts people. I had never heard the term prior to hearing the issue discussed on Mormon Stories two years ago. It absolutely explains my experience as a youth in the church and the fear and anxiety that I lived with for so long. It also made leaving the church so much more difficult. My heart goes out to everyone who struggles with this. ❤
I, like many non- Mormons, started watching Mormon Stories to get insight around some of the recent crimes that have happened involving the LDS community. This particular episode has been so enlightening and informative about the actual experiences of young Mormons. This couple is so loving and kind and their experiences are heartbreaking. They are so lucky to have each other and to have come out on the other side stronger and wiser. Thank you to MS for sharing their story and much love to the Coffin family as they continue to heal. ❤
This had me in a flood of tears. I feel so much empathy for Kim and admiration for the person she has become despite this deeply traumatic upbringing. This has strengthened my resolve to keep teaching my own daughter that she is unconditionally loved, that her body is hers, and that she always has people in her corner who will believe and support her.
I’m older, 63 female EXmo. Omg, I’m finding this young couple so interesting. They could mirror my whole life. I’m so happy that they found out that this is a shame based religion. I’m so happy they got proper therapy! Unfortunately, I found out too late, but I’m trying to rebuild myself. I’m one of those moms that lived for her kids. Now that I’m not in the church, I have No community. I’m having to almost relearn to re-parent my kids and myself. The church really hurt my self esteem and confidence. I always felt inferior as I didn’t want my boys to go on a mission. I would mention that to other women and then was avoided like I had some evil demon in me. I know it’s going to probably take the rest of my life to undo everything! Kudos ❤to this couple.
Norah, SO PROUD of you for turning things around for you and your kids! It's hard. I'm 43 and deconstructing from regular Christianity/evangelical and it's hard. I wish you and your kids the best! ❤
He really is! He spent time working with a therapist specializing in feminism (after we left the LDS church) so that he could unlearn what he had learned in the church and become a better father and husband. ❤
"If your body was covered, you were safer." This pierced my heart. As a survivor who has struggled with body issues for more than 50 years, this was an ah-ha moment. I've long been aware that I dress in an attempt to deflect male attention, but I have never voiced this as being covered by clothes = increased safety. Now that I see this about myself, I can see how clothing-safety extends beyond not wearing low cut tops. Boots with thick tights, scarves, gloves, hats, lots of layers. I never had an issue with wearing a face mask to reduce the transmission of viruses. I could be even more covered and safe. Thank you for voicing your truth; your truth has helped me to discover more of my own truth. 💞
Oh Kim, I connect so much with you. I too grew up in a home that was restrictive and depressed. I was raised as a Jehovah Witness and left when I was eighteen. LDS beliefs are very similar. My Father was high up within the organization as well. . I too have some good memories but when there’s more negative times it does wash out the good ones at times. I too played outside a lot too. I wasn’t allowed to have friends outside the organization nor participate in school activities. I never felt I was enough or a good person.. My gosh the fear was paralyzing throughout my life. Most of my life I felt I left the only true religion. I can say through great therapy, learning to be open minded, I have grown but not without pain. Shunning is so damaging if I allow it.. I realize my parents raised me and my siblings the only way they knew how but most importantly that any religion is man made. My spirituality is better than ever and I do have purpose. I’m worthy of Gods love, we all are. Josh, you remind me so much of my husband. You two are building your lives so beautifully. Thank you for sharing your stories. 56:28
The ability to communicate through emotion is so powerful and so beautiful. Healing, actually. You guys are doing a service to all those who have been victimized.
I have a child who has struggled severely with OCD, so much of what Kim say strikes home. It's one of the reasons we initially took steps away from the church seeing how negatively the purity culture affected her. Thanks for sharing Kim, I will be sharing this with her.
You're so welcome! It was one of the things that caused us to take a step back, too. Seeing my daughter have OCD-like tendencies and knowing how damaging that could be for her made us really question what we were doing.
I was so touched and inspired by Josh's mission story. It inspires me to the highest levels to know he gave up so much that could have made him look good to be true to his own ethics. His Mom was right in a weird warped way..... he's a diamond in the rough. At least that's how I see it. ❤️❤️❤️
John, I am glad you mentioned Bruce R. McKonkie's book "Mormon Doctrine." Those teachings were strong in my upbringing. I'm curious, was anybody else taught that in the spirit world, before God sends us to the kingdom of glory in which we would be assigned, that a "video" of our life would be played for all to see? That always petrified me, especially as a kid. Thank you, Kim and Josh for sharing your stories with us. Watching this, I can feel the love, care, and concern that Josh has for his wife, Kim. That warms my heart tremendously.
Love how supportive you are of each other I saw on tiktok today a post that said "you are someone now that your child self would feel safe with... and that's enough, you're enough" and that was really powerful to me
Josh appears to be an outstanding young man, husband and his 100% support for Kim is impressive to be sure!!! Kim is surely a brave young lady with acute insight into her background and upbringing. Appreciate her being so candid and transparent in telling her story. She has given us a rare view behind the scenes into an extreme fundamentalist prepper and far right fringe 'family' environment. Great episode from Mormon Stories 👍
I was never a Mormon, but so much of this is so familiar to me because of 28 years in a different cult--- Branhamism or the end time message. Thank-you so much, all four of you, this video has helped me so much!!!
I LOVE Margies perspective of Josh 'standing up' for himself. Proud of you, Josh!! My son didnt graduate from seminary because he was HONEST in telling the truth of not reading all the scriptures that were required of them. How many seminary students are really being truthful about their reading. My son felt honesty was more important. Great things will come your way, Josh, because of how you stand up.
Sweet Red Poppy has been my go to for so much sewing advice! Thank you, Kim and Josh, for sharing your stories. I think your words are going to help so many people. Also, Margi is absolutely rocking this interview!
I have been a huge Sweet Poppy Fan for a few years now. I just watched part 1, and I'm amazed by the strength of Kim and Josh to share their stories. They had me crying. Wow! Such love between Kim and Josh. I am beyond happy that they found each other and could heal together. ❤
My sister was involved in that group AVOW years ago when Julie Rowe was going around to Stake centers talking about her NDEs! She too spent all her 401k that she had accumulated through the years.. I had no idea at the time why she quit her job and took her 401k out. It was all about the narrative that this woman was spewing and also the book visions of glory had much to do with it as my sister also loved that book and took it as almost Doctrine.. Today she is quite embarrassed that she was so misled but she lost soo much in the process.. After the Chad and Lori daybell issue she got out of the group. It makes me wonder had that not happened that she would still be all in
I’m so sorry to hear she went through this. I've heard many similar stories and its heartbreaking! That was part of my reason for speaking out about this. I hope she knows she's not alone. ❤ Many people have been duped by Avow.
I have been getting emails from Kim from her sweet red poppy blog for years, and I mean FOREVER. I didn't even know she used to be LDS. Her email title this morning shocked me and comforted me since I deconstructed almost 3 years ago now. And while it's not quite so obvious now, I know my mom and husband still hope I'll come back. I'm so glad you felt comfortable enough in the exmormon community to share this intense and lengthy story ❤
I feel really touched by the love and support you can see Kim and Josh even giving each other in this video. I’m a CSA survivor and when I tell you that that’s the kind of love I and many others hope for I really mean it. I also really want to say this. I’m a survivor of young childhood CSA. I know a lot of other survivors. It is deeply deeply concerning to me how many people I am seeing coming from the LDS church who went through this too. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of so many coming from the same group of people. There are obvious reasons we can see why, like the shame, the misogyny and the lack of sex education, but it is just weighing on me wondering how many victims there are out there suffering still scared to speak up. Thank you for giving so many a platform, I’m from the UK and have never been LDS but have found your interviews so interesting and valuable to watch.
Wow! I've lived in Utah as a never mormon since I was 10. This gives me a whole new perspective on things. As a non mormon kid in Utah I felt ostracized and grew a major resentment against mormons. I was the teen girl who was rejected by the boyfriends family and it was painful. I've never heard about things from a mormon's perspective until now. What a great platform to create awareness, connection, and understanding. I have a new understanding and appreciation for what goes on behind closed doors. ❤🙏I wish healing for you both and for all experiencing these things.
It's fascinating to hear about Mormon preppers! Far more fascinating and relatable for me than I thought it would be. I was raised Mormon, but I didn't feel that I was raised with this prepper mindset, yet as I listen, so much of this resonates with my experience and how I internalized what I grew up in. I think the years when the church struggled financially were traumatic, and have led to a deepening of the hoarding tendencies in the church. I grew up when a year supply of food was really being pushed consistently, and it permeated how I saw the world. I also watched how empty shelves during 2020 triggered my mom's fears. The church really cultivated fear of not being worthy, and not having enough, and not being safe or good enough. I felt and internalized all of this, even growing up in (what I feel was) a very moderate Mormon home. I feel like learning about different fundamentalist and extremist Mormon views is really helping me trace back to roots of iasues I couldn't see before (if that makes sense). I'm grateful to this beautiful couple for sharing their stories, and I'm so glad I decided to watch this episode! I'm here for all the prepper episodes to come! ❤️❤️❤️
This couple have found their safe place in each other. The way I wanted to jump through the screen and hug this woman was beyond anything I have experienced this far. She is truly an angel! He is the loving teddy bear he so admired on his mission trip. ❤❤
There is nothing sweeter to see than spouses who are proud of one another. I love that they acknowledge they married to young, are happy to be married, and clearly champion one another. ❤
Kim and Josh are amazing in sharing their vulnerability with all of us. What an incredible strength to have emanating from within! I love the kindness, love, and support they show for one another. I wish them all the happiness and joy!
These two are the sweetest. Thank God for them. The trauma they’ve been through is heart wrenching. I know what they’ve been through has been overwhelming and severely disappointing but thank God their eyes are open at a young age. They can change this for their babies. Prayers and blessings for them ❤
Amazing interview! The strength and courage it took to speak about their experiences is incredible and inspiring. Im so sorry all those horrible things happened to yall. Thank you so much for sharing. My heart goes out to yall and prayers for you and your family🙌
Oh my! Josh, my heart goes out to you! I have three sons, and I have a soft heart for young men going through what you went through! For you to be judged so wrongly….😢…..so much for this so-called ‘spiritual discernment’ of the elders of the church! I pray that both of you….that ALL who have been scarred by this stupid church, can heal completely! Bless you!
So astute about her dad. She is so empathetic I'm a licensed therapist and using my education differently right now Parentification and Triagulation for sure. I know about parentification and experienced it. it's a lot of pressure and very painful.Hearing her sexual abuse was heartbreaking.Oh Josh, so sorry too. I'm so glad you and Kim found each other! ❤ I'm a licensed clinical social worker in California never Mormon. I relate to many of these stories because I am hard on myself too because of the abuse I suffered. Sending so much love and admiration for both of you. ❤
1:44:00 I want to highlight how Josh is behaving here because it's so mature and supportive. He's clearly having an emotional reaction to what she is saying, but he is offering comfort and support via his hand on her leg and well placed nods, he is letting her continue to talk without interruption, he is not calling attention to the fact that he is having a response as well, and is not making it about him. I often see well meaning friends/relatives having an emotional response to a loved one's trauma, but instead of keeping the focus on the person the events actually happened to (where it belongs) they make it about themselves, so rather than offering support to the actual victim they end up essentially forcing their loved one to comfort them. I understand why it happens, but it shows your loved one that you can't be trusted to support them through difficult emotions without flipping it around to be about yourself. I wish more people would be like Josh in this situation.
Yes, and unfortunately a lot of times that response is anger. I know for myself, that anger makes me retreat and sometimes even try to protect the person who everyone is angry at. I really appreciate that he just listened and let her have her own feelings. So refreshing to see.
The Mormon prophesy is that:being prepared will be as essential as Noah entering the Arch. In other words, if you're not prepared,you will be destroyed
@@joshcoffinator 1:44:41 This comment is spot on 💯 I am listening to this again 10 mos later. I have so much love and respect for you and Kim, Josh. You guys have been through it, and your love shines so beautifully. You are fortunate to have one another. Stay strong. I would love to be friends with both of you incredible humans 🤍
Josh and Kim have so much courage to share their stories ♥️ The love they have for each other is beautiful! Thank you Kim for helping me understand my childhood a little more. At 63, I am healing from my childhood. Thank you MS, John and Margi for bringing these stories forth for All of us. Healing one podcast at a time
What a beautiful couple, very moved by their stories and how brave they are in helping expose the extreme dysfunction of their family/religion. So impressed by how warm they are to each other. So inspired by them.
So many Mormon stories match my evangelical upbringing in the 80s and 90s. I have been deconstructing for 20 years but these stories still help so very much. Thank you Josh and Kim for sharing. ❤
@whenimonmymoon6822 yes! And santa🤣🤣 more afraid of heavenly father, Jesus & the holy ghost but this Santa comment cracks me up. I was only scared of him seeing me around winter🙃
@kassystuart8874 hahaha, i recently used it as an example when talking to my mom about my religious trauma. I was like, y'all didn't mean for me to take "he sees all" as "he pops in while I shower" but that concept was so ingrained it made me nervous about Santa, too! The other example I used was as a kid we weren't allowed to wear "jelly shoes" nc they were expensive and had no support, however, my sisters and I were so trained in purity culture we assumed it's bc they were somehow slutty/immodest. 🤷♀️
Me too friend. This episode brings back a lot of emotion and helps me see where I grew to be so hyper vigilant and scrupulous. It was required of me, it’s the only way I could exist in that environment.
I had similar experiences in a Spanish speaking mission as you, Josh .. in the 70's. Loads of hard memories and tears listening to your story. Sending you both some healing love. Thanks for being so vulnerable and open.
This episode very much resonated with me. I grew up with a father who was a Prepper. He essentially quit working so he could write 600 book abut how to make your own guns and ammunition. He claimed that god prompted him to build a bomb shelter in our back yard. My dad was preparing us to live in it for a year in the event of a nuclear attack. I lived in a constant state of fear. I didn’t find out until I was an adult that my parents were known around our ward and stake as “Doom and Gloom”.
I grew up mormon in New Zealand during the 80s and 90s. My parents were extremely conservative, extremely strict, and food storage was of massive importance. I too grew up with fear and anxiety being the main emotional state, and it’s impacted my adult life in a big way. I’m not diagnosed OCD, however my mother definitely had/s it (also undiagnosed, and not the only mental health issue - I believe), and it played a huge role in my development. Scrupulosity was absolutely what I experienced growing up mormon, along with many other mental health struggles - I was also diagnosed with Autism at 36, and I believe this also hugely impacted how I grew up and all the struggles I am dealing with now (40), due to how I perceived the world around me. My parents also have a bias against professional mental healthcare - they still now will not seek out therapy, even though they really could benefit from it. I never knew the concept of mental health or wellness - I internalised it as a failure on my part, and developed a strong core belief that I was fundamentally flawed. This led to ongoing suicidal thoughts and even attempts, all of which I kept hidden, because of the negative messaging I received. I really relate to Kim’s story and appreciate the podcast! It’s always comforting to feel like you’re not alone. My heart breaks listening to Kim speak about her father - I too had a super strict and controlling father, who was physically abusive, as well as psychologically and emotionally abusive, and I feared him. Like Kim, I never felt safe at home, and would isolate myself in my room.
Aww. I cried with Josh at the end. I’m so sorry he was put through this. I do think he was very strong to not put others in a bad position. I love hearing how Kim was able to extend grace in a way that many in her church were unable to. And appreciate the support these two gave each other throughout the interview. I relate to trying to do everything right and it going so so wrong. Looking forward to hearing the rest of this couples’ story. I also love how Margie frames that experience for him, regarding what he truly did learn.
Watching Josh's story, my heart really goes out for his testimony, but at the same time I am so so glad I did not serve a mission, I feel like the fact I was pushed to serve a mission the first 4 years of being a member and then when i finally buckled down and said no i got resented, I here so many mission stories on this show and it makes me regret I even pressured or pushed people to go to the mormon church
@ 48:00'ish. My parents were doomers and I was taught many of these same practices. I had a garage full of gear, including a bug out bag for each person, that also has dehydrated foods, sealed medicine, and a whole bag of bulk medical supplies too. I had cast iron burners, three propane tanks, a huge grill, Coleman stove, at least 8 five gallon water bottles, all kinds of camping gear, etc. There was so much stuff that I couldn't park my car in my double car garage. My kids called me a hoarder. I was the ward emergency preparedness leader, so I was teaching others to do the same.🫣 It did get weird for me, when my parents talked about going to live in caves with other Mormons, or treking all the way to Cardston, Canada. 😱
The idea that someone is perhaps not righteous enough being the reason for mental health issues hits too close to home for me- my daughter was told the same thing by a seminary teacher, that if she read her scriptures more and prayed more her depression wouldn't be as bad. She never went back after that, and I sure wasn't about to make her go. We talked to leadership about this and nothing was done to remove the teacher from the calling and she is still teaching the youth in spite of other bad experiences I won't go into. It was the beginning of her process of leaving, and mine as well.
John I really respect and appreciate your summarizing, introductions, knowledge, fairness, caring about the guests and the way you help them present. And fair... Thank you
I really appreciated josh telling his mission story, as it really mirrored my own as a first-born golden child who ‘never made mistakes’ until I came home early from my mission. Disappointing everyone was absolutely heartbreaking, and I tried so hard to compensate for it from working at the temple, to serving in multiple callings. I wanted to redeem myself in the community’s eyes and convince them that I was still “good”. Little did I know that coming home early was the first time I chose myself, even for a brief moment. Beginning that journey of living for me was the best thing I ever did. Josh articulated all the feelings so well ❤
Thank you for sharing this! Josh's description of what an LDS mission was like (around 2:45:00) resonated with me so much. Even all these years after my mission, it's so comforting to hear that I'm not alone in my feelings. ❤
I'm an hour and so in, and, One: Lovely woman, looking forward to the rest of her story, and her husbands! Two: Triangulation....I'm shook. I didn't know how to describe being the oldest daughter and the therapist for my mother with her problems with my father., and always having to be perfect, the peacekeeper, and everything for both my parents. Keep in mind, we were not religious, so this does happen everywhere. Thank-you for validating my experiences that weren't great, and I'm still dealing with in my late 30's!
I grew up in an evangelical Christian home and relate to 90% of what these two have shared here. Minus the prepper stuff and the sexual abuse (I did experience other types of abuse) i could be saying these same words. So just sharing yo to show that this isn’t just happening within morman religious communities. So heartbreaking!
Kim is such a sweet and vulnerable soul. I wanted so badly to reach out and hug her as she described her childhood. I hope the rest of her life brings her healing and joy. Josh’s caring for his wife shines through. It’s clear that she has found a wonderful partner. I wish them both the best.
Thank you for sharing your Mormon Story. It is very sad that families live in such paranoia, fear & shame. Margie is a brilliant supportive therapist. Thank you Margie for finding and sharing the light.
I watched the whole thing twice. I’m not ex Mormon and my experiences are not nearly as extreme as what’s described here, but Kim is able to describe things in such a relatable way to anyone that’s experienced abuse in their family. I’m glad they have each other.
I loved this story. Both of them were so vulnerable. Josh seems like such a sweet man, and I'm so sorry that his mission was ruined in that way. I am glad he found a loving partner, and glad to see that he gives her love and support in return. A really inspirational couple. I subscribed to their youtube channel
Josh your post mission dating experiences brought me to tears. I’m still a member of the church and this is teaching me to exercise absolute kindness ALWAYS.
What a beautiful, moving interview! The 4 of you are outstanding, ethical human beings and doing a lot of good in this world. 💙🌻 Wishing you continued strength on your healing journey. 🌺
When i received my Patriarchal Blessings I was told I would live to the second coming and when i started talking about this with others who had received their blessing they had the same thing in theirs. The CallOut was something we were told we had to be ready for, our seminary teacher grabbed on to our blessings and suddenly we were being taught the importance of being ready for the tribulations that would come before the return. When President Hinkley gave his conference talk on Joseph interpreting the dream of Pharoh and our need to he prepared for our 7 years of famine it ramped up again. Their obsession with the end of the world was disturbing to me as a teenager and now as a 40 year old woman my heart breaks for how much damage is done to kids mentally with this crap. I remember trying to shower as quickly as possible for fear of being naked if "something" happened and getting dressed UNDER my towel in my room because I didn't want anything to see me naked. And when I talked to my mom about it she brushed it off as "well that isn't what the church means" yet my mom or my teachers would say that we're constantly being watched and every act written down. That we would see a film of our lives and everyone would see our every sin at judgement. It is a truly destructive environment for anyone but especially children.
This interview really pulled on my heart strings. I love these 2 humans❣ I'm so humbled by their story. Thank you for your courage and for sharing this highly valuable story. I subscribed to sweetredpoppy on YT. So excited.
Great episode…looking forward to part 2. Grateful they are willing to share their stories. They are such lovely humans and a sweet couple. Kim - as a crafter and quilter I’m looking forward to checking out your channel!
Thank you. I’m from Idaho, and generations have been terrorized from AVOW and the survivalists have TERRIFIED and runnier thousands of lives for decades. Our water use to get shut off between my Mons tithing and prepping. I don’t know how we didn’t all end up like JJ and Tylee. I’m still watching but if this is one of Chris and Sues daughters I’m glad you made it out the other side. That IS the miracle!!
Kim I found myself puzzled at how much I identify with your feelings and anxieties even though I didn't grow up in a religious family but I am the oldest of a pretty dysfunctional family whose fears came more from a political place than a religion. I feel you and I can't imagine the added anxiety of an all knowing diety overseeing everything I did. You're a very courageous woman, thank you for sharing your story
@Josh you were a leader leaving your mission, you were exuding a power no other would have been able to take and not crumble. The strength and power it took to stand up and do what is right is commendable. Please feel that within you. You are strong. Be proud of yourself. ❤
I am very touched by your story. Thank you for sharing. My upbringing was of a evangelical/pentecostal variety. But some things seem to be the same. Fear of end times, being left behind because you aren't worthy enough. And taking holiness and perfectionism to an extreme.
I remember my mom telling me that being hypnotized was dangerous because it opened the chance of an evil spirit coming in and taking over. Also remember being told that the millennium would happen in my lifetime. I was born in 1975, so can vouch these were mainstream views in the recent past. Also remember group buy-ins for for storage. We had 5 gallon buckets of flour and wheat and with 2 and 3 liter bottles of water in the garage growing up. I had a lot of fear about nuclear war and famine.
I knew she looked familiar! I follow her content and just started following this channel too. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I’m going through something similar in another organization and have deeply resonated with some points you both made. It’s crazy to realize how many of us have gone through similar life experiences although it may be different religions. I’m so glad you both made it out and have each other’s support through it all. You’ve given me hope that life can go on even after being excommunicated from family and friends. Oh and congrats on the success of your awesome Cricut content 🙌🏽
Thank you!! I've also been surprised by just how similar the deconstruction/reconstruction process is for those who have left high-demand religions. We have so many similarities!
Give the little child inside of you a huge hug… you are a brave young women… your husband is amazing also… sending good vibes your way🙏🙏🙏 you are braver then you know ❤️❤️❤️
Oh my goodness!!! I love sweet red poppy and have followed for a while and used some of the sewing patterns! I had no idea they were connected this way to Mormonland!!
Kim, if you see this - kudos to you on speaking out. I hope it helps to lift (at least some of) the weight caused by the association with your father. We are not responsible for our parents but we sure are responsible for healing from them! Josh, my goodness! You seem so wise for your age. Both of you, actually. Thank you for being such an amazingly supportive partner. Giving hope to some of us who've been in the opposite kind of relationships. Wishing you both a lifetime of health, happiness and healing. 💙
Oh Josh, you are such a wonderful individual. I love what John’ wife said about you emerging, awakened, you finally did stand up for what you wanted and deserved. I’m so sorry you feel and felt such shame, you did nothing to be shamed for. The church was/is wrong, as I’m sure you can see now, it’s just painful reliving it. Feel proud of yourself and your beautiful wife who will never allow this abuse to happen to your children. God bless you both.
Wow!!! I can relate so much to both of their stories. I was the oldest in a large family and felt the need to be perfect as well and felt that love was based on how I performed and my accomplishments. Both of them touched me deeply with their stories. Thank you for being so vulnerable Kim and Josh.
Wow it took me a few minutes to figure out who they were but I knew immediately I recognized them! She is such a talented lady I love to know their story.
Heartbroken for this young man. I had the privilege to know 3 Mormon missionary’s at my home, they visited me, and befriended my youngest daughter. I cooked meals for them, and gave them cold drinks when they were in the heat of summer. We sat on my porch and talked about their families, Utah, their mission stories and all they learned. The senior one and I talked about his girlfriend and how much he loved her. How very sweet they were and so spiritual. They talked about their faith and about mine. They befriended my youngest daughter and she converted to the Mormon faith. Our family was at her baptism and her blessing. We supported her in her faith. Before they returned to Utah after their mission, the eldest of them gave me the book of Mormon with marked pages and highlighted scriptures for me. Such a sweet and thoughtful gift. there was one that I knew and he was so homesick that he went home early. I can barely stand that he might have been treated like this young man. God bless them both. ❤
Josh’s mission story also rings true to anyone who failed at something they expected to do and felt shame as a result. I am an older female never lds and I was tearing up along with him. Thank you for sharing that.
@@joshcoffinator Thank you! It took a lot for you and your amazing wife to share all of that and it is appreciated. I for one was deeply moved by your story.
My church life 74-08....the notions of evil spirits etc....virtually nonexistent. I could confidently say that it was not in the manuals...except maybe the story of the evil spirits going into swine. But that was never about me feeling threatened by being surrounded by evil spirits....or definitely not concerned about evil spirits possessing my body. I consistently see a big difference geographically and culturally with the Mormon experience.
Wow, surprised to see Josh here, cause I knew him from when I started doing my accounting degree back in 2012 at BYU-I. He is spot on about the the feeling of a women’s degree being less important, that women were getting their degree as a “back up” in case the man in their marriage couldn’t provide. Growing up LDS in California some of that Idaho Rexburg bubble mentality was certainly tiresome at times - like one time the scroll newsletter had a wedding checklist on its front page lol! I felt like an outlier at times cause there really were only like 3-4 women to a class of 30, and then shocked to see the accounting profession is more like 50/50! Thanks for sharing both of your stories, it is very insightful, can’t wait for part 2 :)
“I’m sorry for what I said when I was Mormon” or even thought, has never rang more true!! I was extremely devout for so long and thought I had righteous judgement in my thoughts and feelings. It’s so painful to look back now at how I must have made others feel less than. I always tried to show compassion but you can’t truly hide judgment. I’ve grown and learned so much but the culture truly has lasting effects on us all.
I love Mormon Stories, but I think this is the first one where I actually cried. Especially after hearing about the shame and shunning Josh experienced after his mission while trying to date, considering that he is clearly an honorable man with a lot of integrity. But what a beautiful and loving couple, so supportive of each other. Thank you both for sharing.❤
What amazing episodes. Both Kim and Josh are incredibly articulate, learned (not in the bad Mormon sense 😉), exemplary and inspiring. Despite having “nothing in common with them”- except being raised in Mormonism- I found myself identifying so deeply with their story- particularly in Episode 3. I wish them and their family the very best on their continued journey. 💛💛💛💛💛
My son came back home from his Mission 6 month earlier due to an accident caused him to have brain concussion. After he recovered from his injury, he tried to date. And the first question every girl asked him was something like "So did you serve a Mission?" followed by "Did you complete 2 year-mission?" Then, "why did you come home earlier?" At the end, he married a career-driven woman who cared none of those. She loves my son unconditionally.
I'm so glad your son found love based on him and not his "works"! ❤❤❤
I’m so sorry to hear your son experienced that! But so happy he found someone who loves him! ❤️
My WASP ex LDS sons gf here in utah is GASP a mexican non practicing Catholic and we couldn’t be happier. Sorry LDS girls you’ll be missing out on an honest hilarious brilliant handsome tall strong one and he gonna be making a lotta $$ one day 🥴🤷🏻♀️ Darnit if only whether you did or didn’t serve a mish wasn’t so unreasonably expected.
Carrier driven and unconditional love don't match.
@@kkk2419your comment isn’t loving
The way this husband deeply cares for his wife….. heart warming x
Its so sweet!
He’s so caring. Very loving couple ❤️
He's incredible! ❤️ We are lucky to have found each other when we did! I can't imagine doing life without Josh by my side!!
And she is a sweet adoring wife. They are beautiful.
What’s beautiful is that they love each other so much more than either of their parents loved their spouses…they broke the mold.
I want to thank Kim so much for being brave enough to talk about her story. I also love seeing Josh being so supportive right beside her.
Thank you, Jessica! I couldn't have done it without Josh by my side! :)
Who would have thought that i would be watching the story of Josh Coffins faith journey on Mormon Stories . All the support to the Coffin family. His friend group often intermingled with mine in high school and can't stress enough how great of a guy he is.
Look who it is! I see you already started watching this lol
Thanks Mark!! Super appreciate your kind support!
This is the best thing ever. Made my day to see this on my RUclips feed today.
Love to hear this
Can y'all go find that mission president and rip him a new one for me? I'm just an old, once Catholic now atheist lady trying to survive in the South, but Josh's mission story has me wild. Josh, you did not deserve that and it was a truly evil thing to do to you. You both are amazing and thank you for sharing all of this. ❤️❤️❤️
I can’t get over how sweet and supportive they are to each other 😭beautiful people 💖
I *so* appreciate that y'all took the time to show Josh that he was ethically correct and sound in his refusal to turn in his peers and take care of himself. He so clearly needed to hear it and in that moment we got to see him have the maternal response he so deserved. Thank you.
Thank you!
That was so beautiful and touching. Margi is so kind and Josh deserves all the credit for his time and the honor of his ethics.
I hope that made sense.
2:51:18 josh, thank you for crying. thank you for being vulnerable in these moments without shame. margie, thank you for hearing him. thank you for engaging with him and validating him over and over again. men's fears and pains and emotions regarding failure and not being seen and being heard are so often disregarded and minimized. this was very refreshing and very validating and very meaningful to watch. josh i am so sorry this happened to you and i hope you can heal and i hope you have people that love you and appreciate you and show you it every single day now. you deserve to be shown your worth and praised for your hard work. you and kim make an amazing team and when you sit together and speak together your fortitude shines. i'm sorry you have both had to be so resilient throughout all of this.
I want to let Josh know he truly was beyond his years when he chose to respect the privacy of the other Elders. Only a person with a true sense of honor would act in that capacity. The irony of an institution that considers itself honorable, could glean so much from your example. This to me is an uplifting story of strength… I could go on and on - Respect Josh !
Thanks John and Margie for showing so much compassion for Josh and Kim in telling their amazing story. It gave a lot of background to all the sad stories circulating right now involving child murder and child abuse. Josh and Kim I wish only the best for you both as you continue your journey. Your discernment and courage shines bright.
Thank you to Mormon Stories for explaining what scrupulosity is and how it impacts people. I had never heard the term prior to hearing the issue discussed on Mormon Stories two years ago. It absolutely explains my experience as a youth in the church and the fear and anxiety that I lived with for so long. It also made leaving the church so much more difficult. My heart goes out to everyone who struggles with this. ❤
I first learned about Scrupulosity from MS as well. I'm so grateful for that knowledge and the opportunity to share my experience with it as well.
I, like many non- Mormons, started watching Mormon Stories to get insight around some of the recent crimes that have happened involving the LDS community. This particular episode has been so enlightening and informative about the actual experiences of young Mormons. This couple is so loving and kind and their experiences are heartbreaking. They are so lucky to have each other and to have come out on the other side stronger and wiser. Thank you to MS for sharing their story and much love to the Coffin family as they continue to heal. ❤
This had me in a flood of tears. I feel so much empathy for Kim and admiration for the person she has become despite this deeply traumatic upbringing. This has strengthened my resolve to keep teaching my own daughter that she is unconditionally loved, that her body is hers, and that she always has people in her corner who will believe and support her.
❤❤
Your comment has me in tears. Thank you for teaching your daughter these invaluable lessons. ❤
I’m older, 63 female EXmo. Omg, I’m finding this young couple so interesting. They could mirror my whole life. I’m so happy that they found out that this is a shame based religion. I’m so happy they got proper therapy! Unfortunately, I found out too late, but I’m trying to rebuild myself. I’m one of those moms that lived for her kids. Now that I’m not in the church, I have No community. I’m having to almost relearn to re-parent my kids and myself.
The church really hurt my self esteem and confidence. I always felt inferior as I didn’t want my boys to go on a mission. I would mention that to other women and then was avoided like I had some evil demon in me.
I know it’s going to probably take the rest of my life to undo everything!
Kudos ❤to this couple.
Norah, SO PROUD of you for turning things around for you and your kids! It's hard. I'm 43 and deconstructing from regular Christianity/evangelical and it's hard. I wish you and your kids the best! ❤
I think it's amazing that you are rebuilding, relearning, and reparenting! ❤
I love how Josh seems like an actual feminist. Not many men that I have met even seem able to see sexist issues.
He really is! He spent time working with a therapist specializing in feminism (after we left the LDS church) so that he could unlearn what he had learned in the church and become a better father and husband. ❤
@@SweetRedPoppythat’s amazing!! 😻
This is beautiful. Makes me feel hopeful for the world.
There's a difference between being a regular person and a feminist. Don't insult the man
@@SweetRedPoppythat’s amazing! You guys are an awesome couple!!
The question of if there were places of softness for her made me immediately tear up. What a tender and insightful question.
Tammy Daybell was the steady breadwinner in her family too while Chad was off preping and trying to make it big. 🤦♀️
Also, just like Chad, he is an underachiever within the Mormon mainstream who decided to create his own status.
"If your body was covered, you were safer." This pierced my heart. As a survivor who has struggled with body issues for more than 50 years, this was an ah-ha moment. I've long been aware that I dress in an attempt to deflect male attention, but I have never voiced this as being covered by clothes = increased safety. Now that I see this about myself, I can see how clothing-safety extends beyond not wearing low cut tops. Boots with thick tights, scarves, gloves, hats, lots of layers. I never had an issue with wearing a face mask to reduce the transmission of viruses. I could be even more covered and safe. Thank you for voicing your truth; your truth has helped me to discover more of my own truth. 💞
Oh Kim, I connect so much with you. I too grew up in a home that was restrictive and depressed. I was raised as a Jehovah Witness and left when I was eighteen. LDS beliefs are very similar. My Father was high up within the organization as well. . I too have some good memories but when there’s more negative times it does wash out the good ones at times. I too played outside a lot too. I wasn’t allowed to have friends outside the organization nor participate in school activities. I never felt I was enough or a good person.. My gosh the fear was paralyzing throughout my life. Most of my life I felt I left the only true religion. I can say through great therapy, learning to be open minded, I have grown but not without pain. Shunning is so damaging if I allow it.. I realize my parents raised me and my siblings the only way they knew how but most importantly that any religion is man made. My spirituality is better than ever and I do have purpose. I’m worthy of Gods love, we all are. Josh, you remind me so much of my husband. You two are building your lives so beautifully. Thank you for sharing your stories. 56:28
The ability to communicate through emotion is so powerful and so beautiful. Healing, actually. You guys are doing a service to all those who have been victimized.
So appreciative of Kim & her husband sharing their story. ❤
Thank you!
I have a child who has struggled severely with OCD, so much of what Kim say strikes home. It's one of the reasons we initially took steps away from the church seeing how negatively the purity culture affected her.
Thanks for sharing Kim, I will be sharing this with her.
You're so welcome! It was one of the things that caused us to take a step back, too. Seeing my daughter have OCD-like tendencies and knowing how damaging that could be for her made us really question what we were doing.
I was so touched and inspired by Josh's mission story. It inspires me to the highest levels to know he gave up so much that could have made him look good to be true to his own ethics. His Mom was right in a weird warped way..... he's a diamond in the rough. At least that's how I see it. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you! 🙏 ❤ 🥹
Watching Josh watch Kim tell her story is so sweet. He clearly is so pained by her pain and cares for her so much. Sending love to both of them ❤
It’s been a long journey, she’s so brave! Therapy has helped us so much 🙏
John, I am glad you mentioned Bruce R. McKonkie's book "Mormon Doctrine." Those teachings were strong in my upbringing. I'm curious, was anybody else taught that in the spirit world, before God sends us to the kingdom of glory in which we would be assigned, that a "video" of our life would be played for all to see? That always petrified me, especially as a kid. Thank you, Kim and Josh for sharing your stories with us. Watching this, I can feel the love, care, and concern that Josh has for his wife, Kim. That warms my heart tremendously.
Love how supportive you are of each other
I saw on tiktok today a post that said "you are someone now that your child self would feel safe with... and that's enough, you're enough" and that was really powerful to me
Josh appears to be an outstanding young man, husband and his 100% support for Kim is impressive to be sure!!! Kim is surely a brave young lady with acute insight into her background and upbringing. Appreciate her being so candid and transparent in telling her story. She has given us a rare view behind the scenes into an extreme fundamentalist prepper and far right fringe 'family' environment.
Great episode from Mormon Stories 👍
These two are the most beautiful couple. Her response to him after his mission was so moving ❤
I was never a Mormon, but so much of this is so familiar to me because of 28 years in a different cult--- Branhamism or the end time message. Thank-you so much, all four of you, this video has helped me so much!!!
I LOVE Margies perspective of Josh 'standing up' for himself. Proud of you, Josh!! My son didnt graduate from seminary because he was HONEST in telling the truth of not reading all the scriptures that were required of them. How many seminary students are really being truthful about their reading. My son felt honesty was more important. Great things will come your way, Josh, because of how you stand up.
Thank you for those kind words! Means a lot 🥹
Sweet Red Poppy has been my go to for so much sewing advice! Thank you, Kim and Josh, for sharing your stories. I think your words are going to help so many people. Also, Margi is absolutely rocking this interview!
Thank you for the sweet words!! Margi really does rock!❤
I have been a huge Sweet Poppy Fan for a few years now. I just watched part 1, and I'm amazed by the strength of Kim and Josh to share their stories. They had me crying. Wow! Such love between Kim and Josh. I am beyond happy that they found each other and could heal together. ❤
My sister was involved in that group AVOW years ago when Julie Rowe was going around to Stake centers talking about her NDEs! She too spent all her 401k that she had accumulated through the years.. I had no idea at the time why she quit her job and took her 401k out. It was all about the narrative that this woman was spewing and also the book visions of glory had much to do with it as my sister also loved that book and took it as almost Doctrine.. Today she is quite embarrassed that she was so misled but she lost soo much in the process.. After the Chad and Lori daybell issue she got out of the group. It makes me wonder had that not happened that she would still be all in
I’m so sorry to hear she went through this. I've heard many similar stories and its heartbreaking! That was part of my reason for speaking out about this.
I hope she knows she's not alone. ❤ Many people have been duped by Avow.
Part of the Chad Daybell, Lori Vallow circle.@@HosCreates
@@HosCreatesJulie Rowe is an author who was published by Chad Daybell. She wrote of near death experiences
I have been getting emails from Kim from her sweet red poppy blog for years, and I mean FOREVER. I didn't even know she used to be LDS. Her email title this morning shocked me and comforted me since I deconstructed almost 3 years ago now. And while it's not quite so obvious now, I know my mom and husband still hope I'll come back. I'm so glad you felt comfortable enough in the exmormon community to share this intense and lengthy story ❤
I feel really touched by the love and support you can see Kim and Josh even giving each other in this video. I’m a CSA survivor and when I tell you that that’s the kind of love I and many others hope for I really mean it.
I also really want to say this. I’m a survivor of young childhood CSA. I know a lot of other survivors. It is deeply deeply concerning to me how many people I am seeing coming from the LDS church who went through this too. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of so many coming from the same group of people. There are obvious reasons we can see why, like the shame, the misogyny and the lack of sex education, but it is just weighing on me wondering how many victims there are out there suffering still scared to speak up. Thank you for giving so many a platform, I’m from the UK and have never been LDS but have found your interviews so interesting and valuable to watch.
Gosh I sobbed along with her discussing her abuse. I want her to have the best life possible. My heart aches for her.
Wow! I've lived in Utah as a never mormon since I was 10. This gives me a whole new perspective on things. As a non mormon kid in Utah I felt ostracized and grew a major resentment against mormons. I was the teen girl who was rejected by the boyfriends family and it was painful.
I've never heard about things from a mormon's perspective until now. What a great platform to create awareness, connection, and understanding.
I have a new understanding and appreciation for what goes on behind closed doors.
❤🙏I wish healing for you both and for all experiencing these things.
Thank you!
I found that LDS were welcoming until they found out they couldn't convert you and then they wouldn't give you the time of day.
It's fascinating to hear about Mormon preppers! Far more fascinating and relatable for me than I thought it would be. I was raised Mormon, but I didn't feel that I was raised with this prepper mindset, yet as I listen, so much of this resonates with my experience and how I internalized what I grew up in. I think the years when the church struggled financially were traumatic, and have led to a deepening of the hoarding tendencies in the church. I grew up when a year supply of food was really being pushed consistently, and it permeated how I saw the world. I also watched how empty shelves during 2020 triggered my mom's fears. The church really cultivated fear of not being worthy, and not having enough, and not being safe or good enough. I felt and internalized all of this, even growing up in (what I feel was) a very moderate Mormon home. I feel like learning about different fundamentalist and extremist Mormon views is really helping me trace back to roots of iasues I couldn't see before (if that makes sense). I'm grateful to this beautiful couple for sharing their stories, and I'm so glad I decided to watch this episode! I'm here for all the prepper episodes to come! ❤️❤️❤️
I would like to add that both of these young people are beyond their years, so we’ll spoken. This is by far my favorite Mormon Stories Podcast.
What a sweet compliment! Thank you for listening to our story!
Thank you!
This couple have found their safe place in each other. The way I wanted to jump through the screen and hug this woman was beyond anything I have experienced this far. She is truly an angel! He is the loving teddy bear he so admired on his mission trip. ❤❤
There is nothing sweeter to see than spouses who are proud of one another. I love that they acknowledge they married to young, are happy to be married, and clearly champion one another. ❤
❤️ thanks so much!
Kim and Josh are amazing in sharing their vulnerability with all of us. What an incredible strength to have emanating from within! I love the kindness, love, and support they show for one another. I wish them all the happiness and joy!
These two are the sweetest. Thank God for them. The trauma they’ve been through is heart wrenching. I know what they’ve been through has been overwhelming and severely disappointing but thank God their eyes are open at a young age. They can change this for their babies. Prayers and blessings for them ❤
Amazing interview! The strength and courage it took to speak about their experiences is incredible and inspiring. Im so sorry all those horrible things happened to yall. Thank you so much for sharing. My heart goes out to yall and prayers for you and your family🙌
Oh my! Josh, my heart goes out to you! I have three sons, and I have a soft heart for young men going through what you went through! For you to be judged so wrongly….😢…..so much for this so-called ‘spiritual discernment’ of the elders of the church! I pray that both of you….that ALL who have been scarred by this stupid church, can heal completely! Bless you!
I can’t wait to part 2! Isn’t it amazing they found each other?💖 They both have so much love and integrity; and they are growing together.💖
So astute about her dad. She is so empathetic I'm a licensed therapist and using my education differently right now Parentification and Triagulation for sure. I know about parentification and experienced it. it's a lot of pressure and very painful.Hearing her sexual abuse was heartbreaking.Oh Josh, so sorry too. I'm so glad you and Kim found each other! ❤ I'm a licensed clinical social worker in California never Mormon. I relate to many of these stories because I am hard on myself too because of the abuse I suffered. Sending so much love and admiration for both of you. ❤
1:44:00 I want to highlight how Josh is behaving here because it's so mature and supportive. He's clearly having an emotional reaction to what she is saying, but he is offering comfort and support via his hand on her leg and well placed nods, he is letting her continue to talk without interruption, he is not calling attention to the fact that he is having a response as well, and is not making it about him. I often see well meaning friends/relatives having an emotional response to a loved one's trauma, but instead of keeping the focus on the person the events actually happened to (where it belongs) they make it about themselves, so rather than offering support to the actual victim they end up essentially forcing their loved one to comfort them. I understand why it happens, but it shows your loved one that you can't be trusted to support them through difficult emotions without flipping it around to be about yourself. I wish more people would be like Josh in this situation.
Wow thank you!
Yes, and unfortunately a lot of times that response is anger. I know for myself, that anger makes me retreat and sometimes even try to protect the person who everyone is angry at. I really appreciate that he just listened and let her have her own feelings. So refreshing to see.
The Mormon prophesy is that:being prepared will be as essential as Noah entering the Arch. In other words, if you're not prepared,you will be destroyed
@@joshcoffinator 1:44:41 This comment is spot on 💯 I am listening to this again 10 mos later. I have so much love and respect for you and Kim, Josh. You guys have been through it, and your love shines so beautifully. You are fortunate to have one another. Stay strong. I would love to be friends with both of you incredible humans 🤍
Josh and Kim have so much courage to share their stories ♥️
The love they have for each other is beautiful!
Thank you Kim for helping me understand my childhood a little more. At 63, I am healing from my childhood.
Thank you MS, John and Margi for bringing these stories forth for All of us.
Healing one podcast at a time
What a beautiful couple, very moved by their stories and how brave they are in helping expose the extreme dysfunction of their family/religion. So impressed by how warm they are to each other. So inspired by them.
So many Mormon stories match my evangelical upbringing in the 80s and 90s. I have been deconstructing for 20 years but these stories still help so very much. Thank you Josh and Kim for sharing. ❤
I was also scared of being seen in the tub, shower or dressing. Even going to the bathroom. They were always able to see us. So scary as a kid!
🎉good stories John
Bob Funk😊
Ditto! I also disliked that Santa could see me naked!
@whenimonmymoon6822 yes! And santa🤣🤣 more afraid of heavenly father, Jesus & the holy ghost but this Santa comment cracks me up. I was only scared of him seeing me around winter🙃
@kassystuart8874 hahaha, i recently used it as an example when talking to my mom about my religious trauma. I was like, y'all didn't mean for me to take "he sees all" as "he pops in while I shower" but that concept was so ingrained it made me nervous about Santa, too! The other example I used was as a kid we weren't allowed to wear "jelly shoes" nc they were expensive and had no support, however, my sisters and I were so trained in purity culture we assumed it's bc they were somehow slutty/immodest. 🤷♀️
Me too friend. This episode brings back a lot of emotion and helps me see where I grew to be so hyper vigilant and scrupulous. It was required of me, it’s the only way I could exist in that environment.
I had similar experiences in a Spanish speaking mission as you, Josh .. in the 70's. Loads of hard memories and tears listening to your story. Sending you both some healing love. Thanks for being so vulnerable and open.
Thank you!
This episode very much resonated with me. I grew up with a father who was a Prepper. He essentially quit working so he could write 600 book abut how to make your own guns and ammunition. He claimed that god prompted him to build a bomb shelter in our back yard. My dad was preparing us to live in it for a year in the event of a nuclear attack. I lived in a constant state of fear.
I didn’t find out until I was an adult that my parents were known around our ward and stake as “Doom and Gloom”.
I grew up mormon in New Zealand during the 80s and 90s.
My parents were extremely conservative, extremely strict, and food storage was of massive importance.
I too grew up with fear and anxiety being the main emotional state, and it’s impacted my adult life in a big way.
I’m not diagnosed OCD, however my mother definitely had/s it (also undiagnosed, and not the only mental health issue - I believe), and it played a huge role in my development.
Scrupulosity was absolutely what I experienced growing up mormon, along with many other mental health struggles - I was also diagnosed with Autism at 36, and I believe this also hugely impacted how I grew up and all the struggles I am dealing with now (40), due to how I perceived the world around me.
My parents also have a bias against professional mental healthcare - they still now will not seek out therapy, even though they really could benefit from it. I never knew the concept of mental health or wellness - I internalised it as a failure on my part, and developed a strong core belief that I was fundamentally flawed. This led to ongoing suicidal thoughts and even attempts, all of which I kept hidden, because of the negative messaging I received.
I really relate to Kim’s story and appreciate the podcast! It’s always comforting to feel like you’re not alone.
My heart breaks listening to Kim speak about her father - I too had a super strict and controlling father, who was physically abusive, as well as psychologically and emotionally abusive, and I feared him.
Like Kim, I never felt safe at home, and would isolate myself in my room.
Sarah, I am so so so sorry that you went through this. It sounds nightmarish. 😢 Sending you the biggest of hugs! ❤
Aww. I cried with Josh at the end. I’m so sorry he was put through this. I do think he was very strong to not put others in a bad position. I love hearing how Kim was able to extend grace in a way that many in her church were unable to. And appreciate the support these two gave each other throughout the interview. I relate to trying to do everything right and it going so so wrong.
Looking forward to hearing the rest of this couples’ story. I also love how Margie frames that experience for him, regarding what he truly did learn.
Watching Josh's story, my heart really goes out for his testimony, but at the same time I am so so glad I did not serve a mission, I feel like the fact I was pushed to serve a mission the first 4 years of being a member and then when i finally buckled down and said no i got resented, I here so many mission stories on this show and it makes me regret I even pressured or pushed people to go to the mormon church
@ 48:00'ish.
My parents were doomers and I was taught many of these same practices. I had a garage full of gear, including a bug out bag for each person, that also has dehydrated foods, sealed medicine, and a whole bag of bulk medical supplies too. I had cast iron burners, three propane tanks, a huge grill, Coleman stove, at least 8 five gallon water bottles, all kinds of camping gear, etc. There was so much stuff that I couldn't park my car in my double car garage.
My kids called me a hoarder.
I was the ward emergency preparedness leader, so I was teaching others to do the same.🫣
It did get weird for me, when my parents talked about going to live in caves with other Mormons, or treking all the way to Cardston, Canada. 😱
The idea that someone is perhaps not righteous enough being the reason for mental health issues hits too close to home for me- my daughter was told the same thing by a seminary teacher, that if she read her scriptures more and prayed more her depression wouldn't be as bad. She never went back after that, and I sure wasn't about to make her go. We talked to leadership about this and nothing was done to remove the teacher from the calling and she is still teaching the youth in spite of other bad experiences I won't go into. It was the beginning of her process of leaving, and mine as well.
John I really respect and appreciate your summarizing, introductions, knowledge, fairness, caring about the guests and the way you help them present. And fair... Thank you
I appreciate that
Your Mormon Stories billboard is really close to Rigby.
I really appreciated josh telling his mission story, as it really mirrored my own as a first-born golden child who ‘never made mistakes’ until I came home early from my mission. Disappointing everyone was absolutely heartbreaking, and I tried so hard to compensate for it from working at the temple, to serving in multiple callings. I wanted to redeem myself in the community’s eyes and convince them that I was still “good”. Little did I know that coming home early was the first time I chose myself, even for a brief moment. Beginning that journey of living for me was the best thing I ever did. Josh articulated all the feelings so well ❤
Proud of you for choosing yourself! I loved the way Margi refrained Josh’s experience in this episode. ❤ Such a wonderful way to view it!
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this! Josh's description of what an LDS mission was like (around 2:45:00) resonated with me so much. Even all these years after my mission, it's so comforting to hear that I'm not alone in my feelings. ❤
Thank you!
I'm an hour and so in, and, One: Lovely woman, looking forward to the rest of her story, and her husbands! Two: Triangulation....I'm shook. I didn't know how to describe being the oldest daughter and the therapist for my mother with her problems with my father., and always having to be perfect, the peacekeeper, and everything for both my parents. Keep in mind, we were not religious, so this does happen everywhere. Thank-you for validating my experiences that weren't great, and I'm still dealing with in my late 30's!
I grew up in an evangelical Christian home and relate to 90% of what these two have shared here. Minus the prepper stuff and the sexual abuse (I did experience other types of abuse) i could be saying these same words. So just sharing yo to show that this isn’t just happening within morman religious communities. So heartbreaking!
Kim is such a sweet and vulnerable soul. I wanted so badly to reach out and hug her as she described her childhood. I hope the rest of her life brings her healing and joy.
Josh’s caring for his wife shines through. It’s clear that she has found a wonderful partner. I wish them both the best.
Thank you for sharing your Mormon Story. It is very sad that families live in such paranoia, fear & shame. Margie is a brilliant supportive therapist. Thank you Margie for finding and sharing the light.
I watched the whole thing twice. I’m not ex Mormon and my experiences are not nearly as extreme as what’s described here, but Kim is able to describe things in such a relatable way to anyone that’s experienced abuse in their family. I’m glad they have each other.
I loved this story. Both of them were so vulnerable. Josh seems like such a sweet man, and I'm so sorry that his mission was ruined in that way. I am glad he found a loving partner, and glad to see that he gives her love and support in return. A really inspirational couple. I subscribed to their youtube channel
Thank you for speaking out. I want to give you both big hugs. Your bravery has already validated and helped many of us who were a part of that church.
❤
Josh your post mission dating experiences brought me to tears. I’m still a member of the church and this is teaching me to exercise absolute kindness ALWAYS.
What a beautiful, moving interview! The 4 of you are outstanding, ethical human beings and doing a lot of good in this world. 💙🌻 Wishing you continued strength on your healing journey. 🌺
Prepping has not been covered properly in mainstream media, they really have made prepping acceptable without accountability
When i received my Patriarchal Blessings I was told I would live to the second coming and when i started talking about this with others who had received their blessing they had the same thing in theirs. The CallOut was something we were told we had to be ready for, our seminary teacher grabbed on to our blessings and suddenly we were being taught the importance of being ready for the tribulations that would come before the return. When President Hinkley gave his conference talk on Joseph interpreting the dream of Pharoh and our need to he prepared for our 7 years of famine it ramped up again. Their obsession with the end of the world was disturbing to me as a teenager and now as a 40 year old woman my heart breaks for how much damage is done to kids mentally with this crap.
I remember trying to shower as quickly as possible for fear of being naked if "something" happened and getting dressed UNDER my towel in my room because I didn't want anything to see me naked. And when I talked to my mom about it she brushed it off as "well that isn't what the church means" yet my mom or my teachers would say that we're constantly being watched and every act written down. That we would see a film of our lives and everyone would see our every sin at judgement. It is a truly destructive environment for anyone but especially children.
This interview really pulled on my heart strings. I love these 2 humans❣ I'm so humbled by their story. Thank you for your courage and for sharing this highly valuable story. I subscribed to sweetredpoppy on YT. So excited.
❤❤❤
Great episode…looking forward to part 2. Grateful they are willing to share their stories. They are such lovely humans and a sweet couple. Kim - as a crafter and quilter I’m looking forward to checking out your channel!
Love how compassionate Josh is with Kim. What a fantastic support system she finally has. What an amazing couple
Thank you. I’m from Idaho, and generations have been terrorized from AVOW and the survivalists have TERRIFIED and runnier thousands of lives for decades. Our water use to get shut off between my Mons tithing and prepping. I don’t know how we didn’t all end up like JJ and Tylee. I’m still watching but if this is one of Chris and Sues daughters I’m glad you made it out the other side. That IS the miracle!!
Kim I found myself puzzled at how much I identify with your feelings and anxieties even though I didn't grow up in a religious family but I am the oldest of a pretty dysfunctional family whose fears came more from a political place than a religion. I feel you and I can't imagine the added anxiety of an all knowing diety overseeing everything I did. You're a very courageous woman, thank you for sharing your story
@Josh you were a leader leaving your mission, you were exuding a power no other would have been able to take and not crumble. The strength and power it took to stand up and do what is right is commendable. Please feel that within you. You are strong. Be proud of yourself. ❤
I am very touched by your story. Thank you for sharing. My upbringing was of a evangelical/pentecostal variety. But some things seem to be the same. Fear of end times, being left behind because you aren't worthy enough. And taking holiness and perfectionism to an extreme.
I remember my mom telling me that being hypnotized was dangerous because it opened the chance of an evil spirit coming in and taking over. Also remember being told that the millennium would happen in my lifetime. I was born in 1975, so can vouch these were mainstream views in the recent past. Also remember group buy-ins for for storage. We had 5 gallon buckets of flour and wheat and with 2 and 3 liter bottles of water in the garage growing up. I had a lot of fear about nuclear war and famine.
I knew she looked familiar! I follow her content and just started following this channel too.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I’m going through something similar in another organization and have deeply resonated with some points you both made. It’s crazy to realize how many of us have gone through similar life experiences although it may be different religions. I’m so glad you both made it out and have each other’s support through it all. You’ve given me hope that life can go on even after being excommunicated from family and friends.
Oh and congrats on the success of your awesome Cricut content 🙌🏽
Thank you!! I've also been surprised by just how similar the deconstruction/reconstruction process is for those who have left high-demand religions. We have so many similarities!
Give the little child inside of you a huge hug… you are a brave young women… your husband is amazing also… sending good vibes your way🙏🙏🙏 you are braver then you know ❤️❤️❤️
❤❤❤
Oh my goodness!!! I love sweet red poppy and have followed for a while and used some of the sewing patterns! I had no idea they were connected this way to Mormonland!!
Kim, if you see this - kudos to you on speaking out. I hope it helps to lift (at least some of) the weight caused by the association with your father. We are not responsible for our parents but we sure are responsible for healing from them!
Josh, my goodness! You seem so wise for your age. Both of you, actually. Thank you for being such an amazingly supportive partner. Giving hope to some of us who've been in the opposite kind of relationships.
Wishing you both a lifetime of health, happiness and healing. 💙
Thank you!! ❤️
Oh Josh, you are such a wonderful individual. I love what John’ wife said about you emerging, awakened, you finally did stand up for what you wanted and deserved. I’m so sorry you feel and felt such shame, you did nothing to be shamed for. The church was/is wrong, as I’m sure you can see now, it’s just painful reliving it. Feel proud of yourself and your beautiful wife who will never allow this abuse to happen to your children. God bless you both.
Wow!!! I can relate so much to both of their stories. I was the oldest in a large family and felt the need to be perfect as well and felt that love was based on how I performed and my accomplishments. Both of them touched me deeply with their stories. Thank you for being so vulnerable Kim and Josh.
Wow it took me a few minutes to figure out who they were but I knew immediately I recognized them! She is such a talented lady I love to know their story.
Such a powerful episode
Heartbroken for this young man. I had the privilege to know 3 Mormon missionary’s at my home, they visited me, and befriended my youngest daughter. I cooked meals for them, and gave them cold drinks when they were in the heat of summer. We sat on my porch and talked about their families, Utah, their mission stories and all they learned. The senior one and I talked about his girlfriend and how much he loved her. How very sweet they were and so spiritual. They talked about their faith and about mine. They befriended my youngest daughter and she converted to the Mormon faith. Our family was at her baptism and her blessing. We supported her in her faith. Before they returned to Utah after their mission, the eldest of them gave me the book of Mormon with marked pages and highlighted scriptures for me. Such a sweet and thoughtful gift. there was one that I knew and he was so homesick that he went home early. I can barely stand that he might have been treated like this young man. God bless them both. ❤
Thank you Kim and Josh for sharing your story.
Josh’s mission story also rings true to anyone who failed at something they expected to do and felt shame as a result. I am an older female never lds and I was tearing up along with him. Thank you for sharing that.
Thank you 🥹
@@joshcoffinator Thank you! It took a lot for you and your amazing wife to share all of that and it is appreciated. I for one was deeply moved by your story.
My church life 74-08....the notions of evil spirits etc....virtually nonexistent. I could confidently say that it was not in the manuals...except maybe the story of the evil spirits going into swine. But that was never about me feeling threatened by being surrounded by evil spirits....or definitely not concerned about evil spirits possessing my body. I consistently see a big difference geographically and culturally with the Mormon experience.
Wow, surprised to see Josh here, cause I knew him from when I started doing my accounting degree back in 2012 at BYU-I. He is spot on about the the feeling of a women’s degree being less important, that women were getting their degree as a “back up” in case the man in their marriage couldn’t provide. Growing up LDS in California some of that Idaho Rexburg bubble mentality was certainly tiresome at times - like one time the scroll newsletter had a wedding checklist on its front page lol! I felt like an outlier at times cause there really were only like 3-4 women to a class of 30, and then shocked to see the accounting profession is more like 50/50! Thanks for sharing both of your stories, it is very insightful, can’t wait for part 2 :)
Omg please reach out to me! Appreciate your comment!
“I’m sorry for what I said when I was Mormon” or even thought, has never rang more true!! I was extremely devout for so long and thought I had righteous judgement in my thoughts and feelings. It’s so painful to look back now at how I must have made others feel less than. I always tried to show compassion but you can’t truly hide judgment. I’ve grown and learned so much but the culture truly has lasting effects on us all.
so many parallels between mine and Kim’s childhoods. this was deeply touching and relatable. great work
Went to Highschool with Josh and his brother! Wow you never know who is an exmo these days!
Is this Jordan!!? Which Jordan? ❤️
I love Mormon Stories, but I think this is the first one where I actually cried. Especially after hearing about the shame and shunning Josh experienced after his mission while trying to date, considering that he is clearly an honorable man with a lot of integrity. But what a beautiful and loving couple, so supportive of each other. Thank you both for sharing.❤
Grew up in Poky and Rigby. This video is so so impactful to me. My goodness. I will have to watch this a few times.
What amazing episodes. Both Kim and Josh are incredibly articulate, learned (not in the bad Mormon sense 😉), exemplary and inspiring. Despite having “nothing in common with them”- except being raised in Mormonism- I found myself identifying so deeply with their story- particularly in Episode 3. I wish them and their family the very best on their continued journey. 💛💛💛💛💛