During my 2nd cancer battle I complained that life with me sucks. My husband said, " I'd rather have a lifetime of bad days with you than one day without you." That meant the world to me.
I’m chronically ill I have no immune system a two day flu for most people is two weeks for me. On top of that I have a pain condition so it wears me out so much faster than it wears anyone else out. My husband while I’m sick has to take over the laundry and feeding everyone and doing the shopping and I feel so frustrated and useless. I’m like out of everyone out there why would you pick the sick person! He just says because you’re my person. I knew you were sick when I married you I knew what I was signing up for and I wouldn’t take it back for anything in the world. I don’t deserve him but I adore him. I’m glad you lucked out too especially with batting cancer having a support system is half the battle. ❤
I WAS Adam. My boyfriend WAS you. Healing is not linear. I had a tumor in the geographical center of my brain, it was pushing on brain structures causing an acquired brain injury. I was out of commission for years, the same as he is now. The brain heals SO slowly and SO mysteriously, it genuinely doesn't seem like any progress is being made, but I promise he is healing in his own way. All that healing might decide to show one day randomly! Don't lose that hope, it's not misplaced I promise 💘 It's worth him getting sicker in order to get proper treatment. It seems so counterintuitive but I promise once you find his treatment team it will all pay off. Finding the right treatment and doctor is 75% of the battle I swear. Stay strong guys 💕
If nobody has told you today, I'm so happy and proud of you for your progress and all your accomplishments. I hope Celina and Adam have the same success as you.
This! I have also been in this place but I was silent for 2 years while living in a toxic relationship with someone who still put high demands on me even though I could barely function. I took care of her kids, one is autistic. Even with deep depression and an anxiety I’d never experienced before brain brain damage, I found a way out and began healing. It’s definitely a slow healing for the brain! But even in the worst conditions it can be restored!
@@nicolereadstarot hi, this comment came in a response to my comment, not sure if you meant that but for me it caused partial memory loss and hearing issues. I couldn’t the remember names and faces of people I was really close to including family members. I would have a slight feeling that I knew these people but I wasn’t sure how I knew them. I lost a lot of my vocabulary in Spanish and English. It took me years to regain that stuff. As for hearing it’s just different. Some sounds give me anxiety now. It was never an issue because. Mine was from an MMA injury though. Well, a few head injuries 😬. Not a tumor.
As someone who is disabled and struggles with pain, all we want are people like you surrounding us. Caring, thoughtful, and strong people. Adam is so lucky to have you. I'll be praying.
This broke my heart. It’s crazy how one little moment in time like working in your garden can change the whole direction of your life. My son wanted to take a ride on a 4 wheeler and even tho it made me nervous, I didn’t want to be overprotective. In one second, it flipped and my son was gone. Ten years old and I lost him in an instant. One minute I was watching tv and an hour later I was donating my son’s organs. Never take a day for granted because life really can change in the blink of an eye. My prayers are with you guys!❤️
I'm so sorry to hear that! I don't have kids so I really can't even imagine. I hope you are doing well today, and I really hope you know that by donating his organs you made sure he lives on still. How beautiful is that, in the literal worst moment of your life, you still had compassion for others ❤️. Sending love your way 🥰
Thank you all so much! It’s obviously something you never get over but at the same time I’m so blessed! I have a beautiful family and blessed I got to be his Momma even for a short time! Being his mother was the honor and joy of my life! Hope all of you are well and thank you so much for your kind words!❤️
"I am sharing this, but if we meet irl I do not wish to talk about it." I love this. Setting boundaries and telling us this is your life and you get to choose what and how and when you share it. I just wanted to show support. I am sorry you and your husband have to deal with everything. It sucks.
I hope you can get him to the brain clinic, somehow. Post Concussion Syndrome is NOT pretty, it is hard on the victims AND on the caregivers. My heart goes out to you both.❤
You say you're not sure he has quality of life but when we see him laughing at your terrible amazing jokes or your sleepwalking antics, we know you are giving him QUALITY of life. You're made for one another and together you've GOT THIS. xxx
So true and wholesome. I hope she gets to see this comment because no matter how bad it gets he has her and she makes him smile and laugh and they are beautiful and so real together ❤
This needs to get boosted into her view, because it is so true. I always thought that watching videos with them both. He is always happy seeing her be herself and doing shenanigans, and she should hopefully see that.
For a long time I felt that my husband had died in his car accident. He was a shadow of himself. So much of what you describe is eerily familiar. His car accident happened 3 weeks after my huge open cancer surgery. His steering wheel broke off and his steering column hit his face hard enough to break his jaw. 7 years later we have found stability and way of life that works for him. I sincerely hope it happens for you.
is there a chance i can ask what yall did? i have a tbi and am slowly losing function and have almost no memory retention, i am trying very hard to find some stability for the future
As a person with lifelong chronic illness and disability, I wanted to let you know how privileged I feel that you both would be willing to share this with us. Its such a terrible, horrible, incredibly unfair thing, and I know that nothing any of us can say will make it better. I hope that things get better for you both. I hope you can make it to Utah. We're here with you
I second this, from another chronically ill person! 💔 we're all here for you both, keep being amazing and even though its hard, keep fighting. You've got this. Xx
I second this as well. I've been living with ptsd since 2018 and I can say it changed my life completely. I feel like I'm at full war with my own brain, barely holding on to reality sometimes and the fear can feel so overwhelming. When she said he is a shell of his former self. I felt that so hard. Yall are in my prayers. I hope Adam experiences a miracle someway somehow
I came here as a chronically ill person to echo this. Having someone in your corner to take care of you and be an advocate for you to the specialists does more than you know. Your love for Adam shines through in everything that you do. Take whatever time you need to get as much help as you feel is necessary. We will be here cheering you on whenever you get back💜💜💜💜💜💜
Adam needs an indoor hydroponics garden! Something he can sit and watch with no need to do much physical work. Perhaps seeing the plants grow over the days/weeks/months will spark happiness as he clearly used to love tending to plants. Nostalgia can be oh so powerful!
"I'd give my whole life up, just for 1 year to be with you". What a beautiful, selfless thing to say. My Soul goes out to you. Much love from Australia.
My husband literally just went to an aunt's funeral two weeks ago, a really athletic one who did crossfit and everything. She was mountain climbing, fell and hit her head, went to the doctors and they said it's fine, she went home, went drinking with her adult kids, had a good time. Two days later, didn't wake up. Head injuries are terrifying. I'm so sorry you've been through so much.
Uhhh anybody with a brain knows alcohol thins the blood and any possible injury is exponentially worse after consuming alcohol. If she went to the hospital they would have told her no drinking and possible MRI for brain bleeds
@@BobbyB910that's not nice to say in this case. if i said that to a very close friend or family member of yours, you would be upset. please word these things better.
Hi Celina, I kept wandering where I've seen you. Then it hit me "OMG...THATS THE SLEEP WALKING FUNNY LADY" Celina I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Adam too. I'm sure that you have heard of actor Liam Neeson. In March 2009, he and his family went on a ski trip. His wife, actress Natasha Richardson wasn't wearing a helmet and hit a tree with her head while skiing. She claimed to be fine and refused any medical help but complained about a severe headache. She was flown to Lenox Hill hospital in New York where she died 2 days later from an epideral hematoma caused by her brain injury. I'm praying for you and your family. I'm praying for full recovery for Adam. ❤
Hi Celina. My coworker shared this video with me because she connected the dots that this is what I am going through as well. Post concussion syndrome is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. I went to the concussion clinic in Utah and it was life changing. There is hope for Adam and you guys are very strong for holding onto that! I also wanted to mention a PCS support group that makes a huge difference for my recovery so that I don’t feel so isolated and alone. It is called Concussion Connect! I wish you both the best and just wanted to share that resource and my healing energy your way. 💕
He is now going there because they made a video about it!! Thank you for putting out this information for others. Hopefully other people will see it also & that they have the money to go there.
Thank you for posting this and I swear I am not making this up. So back in 2012 I was working at Sonic, it was during summer time and I was carhopping on my roller blades. The guy that kept the sidewalks and road clear of any tripping hazards had up and quit few days before my accident. I was taking a sundae banana split out to a car, I step off the side walk and went to blade the order over when something got lodged in my wheels throwing me backwards causing me to slam my head on the concrete. It didn't knock my out but I had a hugh not in the back of my head that was the Size of a baseball. Bcuz of that accident it turned my world upside down and hasn't gotten better. It's hard to explain but my marriage ended not too long after. I tried to have relationships to where I was too much to handle, friendships ended, and much more. I had been taking antidepressants and anti-anxieties, seeing counselors, therapist, psychologist trying everything possible to feel like my old self. I had even become disconnected from kids and it kills me inside. Every day has been a fight for me. Celina again thank you for having the courage to share your story. I'll be making an appointment with my doctor to have this checked out.
when he told you “i’d give up the rest of my life to have ONE good year with you” i actually started crying. sending so much love to you & Adam. i hope you both find answers. ❤️
same here, but brain injuries are still such a mystery to the world of medicine, its crazy to think they can do so much but the brain is still such a huge mystery. I had one when I was 2 and I am now 42 and I still suffer from seizures and horrible migraines and there is nothing that they can do other than give me medications for it to try and stop them, because there is no preventing them because I never know when any of its gong to happen. I can be sitting here just watching youtube and start having seizures for no reason, other times its because I have been stressed out way to much or I get to overly excited, then medications I have been given cause them. The brain is really an amazing thing, but such a huge mystery still all at the same time
Okay, when you said 'I signed up for YOU' I started to cry. THIS is why you and Adam have felt like you have been together lifetimes. You chose each other every time, no matter how long it was. And you keep choosing each other, through highs and lows. I am sending you all of the hope that this clinic can bring him relief.
My sisters husband got sick 13 years ago. He got pancreatitis that ravaged his body. He’s fought and fought for 13 years with her right beside him all the way. They were thick as thieves. He went to bed and died a kings death last night. I understand what it looks like to see two soul mates fighting to have more days together. My heart is so broken for loosing my brother in law. And your story is really resonating with me tonite. Peaceful loving energy coming to you tonight Celina. Love you little girl. ♥️
rest in peace to him... i hope you, your sister and everyone who knew him makes a happy and healthy recovery. it must hurt to loose someone that way. sending love, hugs and prays to your family and you. ❤
I suffer from chronic pancreatitis, just had a Whipple in December. It’s a really tough diagnosis. My heart goes out to your sister and your entire family.
Hey! I feel for you. My wife was diagnosed with a terminal lung disease the year we got married. We had 5 years together full of hospitals, home nurses, meds, hospitalizations. In the summer of 2012 she was forced admitted into hospital and by end of day she couldn’t breath at all. 3 months of surgeries, a failing double lung transplant in Toronto…she never left the hospital and died at age 35. We had been together for 8 years. Fellow cdn, just in Burlington, if you want to reach out. The caregiver needs supported just as much as the one who is dealing with the illness. It’s hard. But hopefully Utah will bring a shift in the tide for you both. Sending love.
I’m in Utah. I’m a medical assistant, my husband is Hospice, and my son an EMT. If you need a place to stay or anything. Even going to some haunted unknown locations you’ve got me and my family. We understand to a degree the journey. I’ve been diagnosed with #8 chronic illnesses. Prayers, love, angels, and healing thoughts sent to you and Adam!!
How are you still able to work? I have 7 chronic illnesses and I was put on permanent disability over 10 years ago. I would love to go back to work, I worked in the medical field as well, but I don’t see any way to make that happen.
Same here. Have Cystic fibrosis, diabetes, chronic pain, had double lung and liver transplant. It never ends. Much love to you Jamie and Celina spookyboo
@@nickysw6060 was just gonna say that but you already did!!!❤️ @celine you should definitely think about this offer i would feel so much comfort knowing my husband has around so much support and alittle help for you!! ❤️❤️
I'm in Utah too! I work in medical as well. My husband had 2 strokes in 2019 and still struggles if you ya'll want to roll together in a spooky support group I am so down! ❤
This broke me, as someone who is living with disabilities and someone who’s husband is also Adam and I speak and live pretty much exactly as you have talked about. I’ve followed you both for years, you’re both amazing people and I hope for you both to find all the help and happiness. I’m trying to get my Adam out of a hard place, no where near what you guys are going though. Thank god he has you, we need a lot more people like you in the world. I think we can all agree we all will be manifesting and praying for you both.
I have PPCS. I have no clue why the dr cant fix me. I also dont know why disability doesnt care about the affects on my life. Diisability denied me becaise it is an invisible illness. Its hard . I am not okay.
@@lindabommer87 I am also not ok. As one not ok person to another, I love you and want you to be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day after that, and every single day you can manage to be not ok.... because one day, we will hurt and be exhausted, but we will be able to say "I feel ok today."
@@lindabommer87 I'm not okay either. Lately it's felt like I've never been okay, but luckily, I know that's just my mental illness tunnel vision making me see the glass only half empty. I'm a recovering heroin addict with 4 years sober and I'm still trying to learn how to cope with the shit I went through in active addiction. I was homeless off and on the whole time I was on drugs. Before I had ever been addicted to heroin or even drank alcohol before, I was dealing with heavy traumas on the daily. I never had a safe place or enough time in between my trauma to actually process anything that had happened. So, here I am now. Feeling like I should be the happiest I've ever been. But in reality, I'm having nonstop PTSD memories of that time my dad flipped the dinner table upside down on me and my mom, or the time I had sex for money/drugs to support my drug habbit (even though I "consented" back then... it doesn't sit right with me. All the times I did it, in my memory, it feels like I was just barely surviving and blocking shit out.). Some days the memories don't stop screaming over everything I do, repeatedly. I know I could have things much worse. And I'm so thankful to be alive and sober, but somedays all I can do to escape this hell is sleep. I feel like a prisoner in my own body, and I don't want to feel that way, obviously. I'm not trying to get pity or praise for my sobriety, I just saw yalls comments and I felt like sharing my struggles, however different they may be. I believe that we all are capable of empathising with each other, nomatter what. Even if we will never truly understand what it's like to go through what someone else has, it's still so fucking important to try.
@@lindabommer87 I’m praying for you too Linda and sending you my best energy. Stay strong and positive and you will recover. You deserve peace and to be free of pain and worry. You are a good person. I’m sorry for what your going through. I hope you feel better someday. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Celina, I was in Adam’s situation. My doctors downplayed my concussion, it never went away, I was constantly gaslighted… It took away almost 2 years of my life… this is post-concussion syndrome. One of the toughest things to fix. Permanent eye damage, sound sensitivity, intense migraines, brain fog, light sensitivity, increased heart rate… you mentioned how physical activity caused him a huge setback. It did for me too. Doctors threw me around, giving me every med under the sun. Nothing helped, I was suicidal, I had a poor quality of life. Please please please look into the Buffalo Protocol. Not one doctor recommended it to me - I had to be the one to do my own research and bring the case study to my TBI specialist. Physical activity was almost impossible for me without feeling sick, faint, like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. It changed my life in three months. My physical therapist brought me in twice a week, tracked my symptoms with associated heart rate, etc. It got rid of my migraines, light/sound sensitivity, tachycardia, etc. I truly healed after 2 years with this. Without it, I still thing I’d be in the same miserable place. I’ll always preach this to anyone whose trying to heal from a TBI. Look into UPMC in Pittsburgh as well… people go there from all over the world for TBI. They’re THAT good.
I can 2nd UMPC Pittsburgh! I had my mama down there in their neurological department for 13 years. Now she had a very rare cancer, but it was located very close to the bottom of her skull...and once they radiated her, it started necrosis of her brain. When she was first diagnosed, local Dr's, gave her 3 MONTHS to live...that was June 2006. We then went to Prebyterian Hospital, and with their help, she lived 13 more YEARS....and those are 13 Extra years I got to love my mama!
From someone whose wife abandoned them in their time of illness and need, it brings me hope to see someone who stays to help and nurture, even when it is difficult and not what you planned for your life
I have to tell you. Over the last 7 years I've had cancer twice, my spine reconstructed twice, arteries rupture in my neck and almost die amongst so many other medical problems. The power and influence you are having in your partners life is incalculable. I would have ended my life so long ago if it wasn't for my kind, loving, and understanding wife. When I was in the middle of these horrible circumstances sometimes the only thing that made me feel ok was my wife being compassionate. Sometimes the only thing that brought me joy was hearing her laugh. Even if it doesn't seem like you're making a difference you are.
It can be as simple as a loving gentle hand to bring peace of mind. I have been a carer and a cared for. Both sides have their own struggles but out of love for one another.
This solidifies my reason to continue studying neuro rehabilitation & brain injury. The brain is the most incredible thing we'll ever encounter. Adam is in there, the essence of him will never leave. His brain is doing its best to reconfigure and rewire itself. You are so very strong, I hope one day I can love someone as purely you do him. Sending you love and positive vibes from Toronto 💕
acarii22 … Your comment is awesome. I know it means everything to Celina & Adam as well. Celina … Thank you for sharing this. You and Adam found each other in this lifetime just as you have in other lifetimes. He wouldn’t be able to do this without you and with you he will heal. After watching this I have formed a group of wonderful people (over 50 of us now) every evening at same time we stop what we’re doing, think of you and Adam and we pray. Collective consciousness is powerful, we’ll never stop sending out prayers, love, blessings and healing energies to you both. You are both surrounded by Love at all times.
Celina, this is insane bc I have this EXACT condition and I've never heard of anyone else who has had this issue from concussions. I've had around 5-6 concussions and I can't do anything I used to anymore. I can't run, I can't turn my head too quickly, if I hit my arm or leg hard enough it gives me days long migraines. I've had to sit in the dark for weeks at a time.... I have to sleep around 9-10 hours a night so my brain can recover from the days events. However, it's been around 4 years since my last big concussion and I have gotten SO much better. I still can't do a lot of things most other people can do, but I can go on walks now and lift heavier objects and look at screens for extended periods of time. I do still have major PTSD from this and am so so nervous about anything touching my head, but it really has gotten better with time! Sending you guys so much love and good health and the answers you need
I just started the video, but could a seizure do that? I had cluster seizures and a grand mal one that knocked me knocked out for nearly nine hours. I could barely do anything, because it felt like my brain was pounding. It's nothing like what it was, but I never considered it to have been temporary damage. My MRI can back fine, but something was definitely not fine.
@@shae9364 i’m really not sure! i have never had a seizure but i have a friend who is epileptic and they get migraines and major fatigue after their seizures as well
My friend was at a consert, fell and hit his head on the stage, felt fine tho' he had been drinking, he fell asleep and he never woke up.. I have allways tought that's a myth, but it's not and it made me realize how serious concussions actually are. Terrefying😱
"I don't want to talk about it in real life;" THAT statement you made is exactly how I feel since I lost my son. I have retreated to solitude except when forced to go to work. I'm so sorry you're both going through this. Thank goodness he has you. God brought you both together because Adam was going to need you. Your priority is family. I'll say a prayer for you both.
I was diagnosed with post concussive syndrome in 2015 following a “minor” concussion. I went to a neurologist who gave me medication for migraines which made me survive the next two years. The thing that gave me life back was going to a chiropractor who found through X-rays my neck was curving the wrong way from the impact. We were able to do rehab to strengthen the muscles in my body. There’s hope ❤️
It definitely sounds like it could have something to do with his cervical spine considering the pain in his arms and bending. Commenting to boost this for Celina!
My sister in-law had a major concussion a few years ago. She was so sick for a long time. She went to physical therapy, chiropractors, and eventually an occupational therapist. I think she mentioned something about “crystals” at the base of her neck I think that were out of alignment. Whatever it was, somebody was able to help her, and she got better. That whole experience led her to go to school and become an occupational therapist. I wish I could remember who eventually helped her get better.
@@rosanna415 do you maybe mean crystals in her ear? Because we have crystals in our inner ear responsible for balance and they can loosen and that causes dizziness, headaches and issues with balance
My mom's friend had a terrible concussion that took away almost 80% of her eyesight and had horrible migraines. She went to I'm pretty sure the same clinic you are going to in Utah. She's almost back to 100% normal and now helps others who struggle in that area. I am praying it works for you guys like it did for her.
We are known in Utah for having one of the best neurological doctors. And the best clinics! I actually have a neurosurgeon right across from my house! They are everywhere here and they are devoted
I was Adam too. Husband was you. I have Lyme disease and couldn’t walk well or talk! I’m better now. Lots of things I did to heal! Prayers for you both! ❤️
@@madelinebeitel7150 hi! I have Lyme and have been doing IV antibiotics as well as oral antibiotics for a year now. I also did two IVIG treatments which I think has played a big role in helping me feel better. I went from not being able to walk some days and having serious depression caused by the neuropsychiatric side of Lyme to feeling much better recently. I just started taking walks recreationally again and I don’t feel depressed for the first time in so long.
I had the exact same thing happen, Lyme, and I did 2 years of oral antibiotics as well as IV vitamin drips 3 times a week. Not sure what really worked in the end, but I feel as though the IV vitamins saved my life, or at least really improved my quality of life while I was suffering. Perked up my system enough to keep fighting I feel. Now I recommend anyone who is in a desperate health situation to try them. There was a point where I had no desire to be alive because I had absolutely no quality of life, and now I would say I am back to 90% health, I just have to be more cautious than most with reserving energy and not doing anything that could potentially make me run down, such as drinking/partying and poor diet for more than a meal or 2 here and there. I wasn't sure if I would ever get better, but now being on the other side of it I am so happy I hung in there. It really is so hard when you have no timeframe for when you might feel better, but just knowing other people have been through something similar and come out the other end gave me enough hope to keep going so maybe someone will see this and it will help too?
Thank you both for sharing your stories. I have Lyme that I have thankfully been able to manage (with IV vitamins, diet, hyperbaric chamber sessions, and various holistic doctors) but my best friend has a much more serious case. She has tried many many doctors and too many treatments to list, including oral antibiotics (and she started IV antibiotics but had to stop bc she was declining). She is down to 95 pounds, has a feeding tube, can hardly take care of her hygiene ( just getting energy to shower can take all day) she’s depressed, scared, so so sick, and generally unsupported by her family and her husband. Neurological illness is so incredibly difficult, thank you both for offering some hope ❤️
I cared for my mum for the longest time and I became disabled 8 years ago and I asked my husband if he wanted to leave I’d let him go as I know it’s tiring and frustrating to look after me….what he said changed my way of thinking “you didn’t choose to be a caregiver to your mother, you were expected to just do it….I’m choosing to stay and love you for you and your body not working like it used to doesn’t change why I love you and want to spend my life with you we just have to learn to live in a different way” ❤ big loves to you both x
Never stop fighting for Adam. If you have to, get pushy with the doctors. That's what my husband did for me. Please keep us updated. We love you. Adam it's ok bud, you'll get through this. I know it's very difficult. We believe in you. You have a wonderful beautiful woman by your side.
I’m not going to lie, seeing you love him so fiercely gives me hope. I’m in his position, I have a very low quality of life, chronic pain that is so bad that I can’t do anything I love anymore….. I have had a lot of bad relationships and a lot have ended because of how unwell i am. I’ve come to a point where I’ve started losing any hope of anyone loving me this way. But seeing you two together makes me feel like it could happen
I’ve been exactly were you are. I put up with some very shitty people. But I found my one. I had my lumbar spine fused 5 weeks ago. That first night he stayed with me in the hospital (fuck the COVID rules, I was purposely in a private room) and he was there to help me the first night when I was writhing and screaming in pain. He was there, holding my hand, reminding me to breathe. He even yelled at the nurse when she completely dismissed me as being “overly dramatic”. There are still good ones out there! You are worthy, you are lovable, and you deserve everything in the world!
It can always happen. I've been with my bf for two years, but this year I've been dealing with severe fatigue and spent almost 2 months mostly bedridden, and he's been by my side through it all. He buys me the food I'm craving, he helps me out of bed and on the stairs, and he even said that if I ever had to use a chamber pot he would clean it. He has promised that he is never leaving me no matter what happens. I really hope you find someone who loves you for you, no matter the baggage you come with. It's happened for others in our situations, and it can happen again. Rooting for your well-being and future!
I’m not sure how old you are Tanner, but don’t give up hope. Although be careful, people will take advantage of you. My daughter has Major TBI and men try taking advantage of her. Best of luck to you in your search of true love ❤
Celina you are such a brave and strong soul. It’s not easy what your going through right now, especially for you and Adam, but never forget that we are here for you whenever you need us. We will never not be here.
Praying for you. My advice for you both is GET A PATIENT ADVOCATE. If you are dealing with complex medical issues and it affects your daily life, if you still want answers, or even just another set of eyes on your current situation. These professionals are a great conduit between you and specialist doctors, they can organize all the different medical information from different doctors in different locations to get a clear picture, and also make sure everyone involved is up to speed and date. Being a caregiver is hard. There is hope. ALSO these patient advocates are usually medical professionals themselves so not only will they help you understand your specific situation in a simple manner, they can also hold doctors or hospitals or facilities accountable in real time. So you can worry about the daily instead of trying to figure out what information you can trust.
@Celinaspookyboo @foxracer ABSOLUTELY YES! YES! THIS this comment this advice is INVALUABLE. When going through such a weight of emotions it is hard to think positively and to have faith. NEVER EVER just go with one doctor! When it comes to life or death we want to do any and everything we can, find doctors out of state or wherever they may be, and all info pertaining to that said matter to ensure EVERYTHING is done. No stone left unturned!!! I can't stress this enough..I WISH everyone knew about patient advocate services!! @celinaspookyboo I don't press people or push my views- but when you love someone you tell them the truth. Although we don't know one another I care for everyone..and my heart is aching for you and Adam. In the hour of need..know that God is watching you..he is with you..always..regardless of if you believe it or not. It isn't the doctors choice at the end of the day. It is God's. Don't EVER give up, please. ❤❤❤❤❤❤😊 We don't know our true strength until we've endured what we believed was impossible. Many of us are praying for you both and care for you. Social media or not!!!
Best advice EVER…❤ there aren’t enough patient advocates out there…the ones at my local hospital are literally volunteers. One is a pastor, and I’m not remotely religious, but he helped me through a VERY scary time in my life. They make such a difference. ❤
I've been here. I understand. This sounds like he's had a traumatic brain injury, not just a concussion. Also, possibly increased cerebral fluid/pressure. Please, don't give up hope. He's able to get better with therapy and neurologists. Thinking of you all always.
As someone that's in a similar situation but in the opposite position, I can tell you that Adam 1000% appreciates everything you do for him. I became sick in 2016 (also one year after my husband and I got married) and there are many times we feel like we're a burden on those we love simply because of the accommodations we come with. I sincerely hope that you and Adam find answers in Utah and that he gets even that 10% of healing that you guys wish for because you deserve it. I know it's incredibly hard, but keep your head up. Hopefully things will turn around soon.
Sending you both prayers for healing and an end to this pain and depression. I live with both, so I do. It can be so disheartening. Praying...Much love....
Celina, I really hope my comment reaches you. I've been living with Intracranial Hypertension since May of 2016, and although you didn't go into specifics a lot of the things you mentioned I also experienced when my illness was at its worst/when I was diagnosed. I had two major concussions growing up which were contributing factors. I'm still not the person I was before getting sick, but I'm getting there. Much love and appreciation for you and Adam both, and I thank you for not only sharing such a difficult story but for being with Adam through all of this ♡
I also have experienced Intracranial Hypertension. I’ve also heard it called Pseudotumor cerebri because it mimics all the symptoms of a brain tumor. It seems pretty rare and is difficult to diagnose because for the most part all tests come back normal. It’s really nice knowing that there are other people out there who have experienced similar things. A lot of the symptoms you describe Adam having are similar to what I’ve experienced. I was very lucky that my condition wasn’t very severe and improved on its own, but it was so debilitating. I’ve never been in so much pain and struggled to do basic tasks like walk or watch tv. This condition affects the optic nerve and vision so I’d get so nauseous from postural changes or lights, even just watching a moving image on my phone.
Here’s hoping this comment gets to her. Sometimes doctors need help to get an accurate diagnosis. Doctors don’t know/remember every illness in existence and some are super rare, new or just very hard to diagnose. Hearing from other patients could be a significant leap in necessary treatment.
I was thinking the same thing through a lot of this video. I was diagnosed in July of 2020 with this, and, like you, so many of the symptoms she mentioned for Adam are similar to what I was going through. I was miserable, in so much pain, with no idea what I was wrong, until I finally was able to go in for an MRI and evaluated for pappiloedema. I had had 4 concussions when I was younger, which has been credited as a factor. Everything from food to moving would set off nausea and migraines, bending over was the most painful thing to my head. I was lucky during my diagnostic period too -- my neurologist said she wouldn't have thought of IH/ Pseudotumor Cerebri the year before, but her coworker had just written a paper on misdiagnosing the condition as chronic migraines or dismissmal of symptoms, especially because the slight majority of those affected are females. He ended up being my nuerologist after I was diagnosed, and I'm eternally grateful - he had the second highest number of IH patients in my state (only 7 people!). I was on bed rest for the better part of 18 months because I couldn't function, between the condition and the meds for it. I had two different spinal taps with obscenely high opening pressure and drainage. I lost 8% of my vision, including a large secondary blind spot in my left eye. I ended up having to have brain surgery a few months ago and had to have a shunt put in to mitigate the symptoms. Its been a long recovery, but I am doing so much better than I was this time last year.Like another comment said, its actually really nice to hear about others having the same thing, makes me feel less alone. I hope Adam is able to get the right care, and hope maybe seeing these comments can open up the conversation with his doctors about lesser known conditions like IH.
I agree! I have chiari malformation which causes a blockage and then high intercranial pressure. Also could be a csf leak. Celina if you see this I’d be happy to discuss brain stuff I’ve been dealing with brain issues and injuries and surgeries for 10 years
You need to watch Momming with Migraine. I came across her on here and she has this tumor you are speaking of. She’s still on this new journey of finally getting answers. ❤️
i hope that Adam has or had a big, healthy recovery. this is a year later. don't stop fighting. he will get better. you will get to do a million things you never got to do together. YOU AND ADAM ARE SO STRONG!! ❤
You precious soul❤ you are both amazing. What a Journey you are on together. Have you considered getting a past life regression reading for Adam? I’ve been studying it a bit and there are some cases that people have been healed from going back and knowing why they are going through what they are in this lifetime. I pray for a complete healing in Adam! And strength for you sweet girl💕
As someone who has had chronic illness for 5 years, its really hard to accept that you cannot do the things that you loved before. What is important is finding things that you love now. There is a book called "You Dont Look Sick" and it helped me a lot with accepting my loss. Much love and hugs to you guys, Celina.
It's definitely not the same as a chronic illness. I know the But you don't look sick one but TBI is something very different. I am glad it helps you. I have had chronic illness 40 years so I understand you. My marriage broke down because of my husband's TBI. There is nothing you can do to change their mind if they want out. They are a different person but they do not realise to what extent.
As someone with chronic illness and pain I'm gonna check out that book, thank you. The amount of times I've heard that statement is insane. Or my second favorite the "you're too young to have health problems" as if only old people can. Its fucked up.
i’m definitely gonna check that out! i got into a really bad car crash two weeks before 2020 ended and it killed me when my doctor said i’ll never fully recover & that i’ll struggle with consequences for the rest of my life. it still does
Oh my gosh - as soon as you said he hit his head I knew. My husband had post concussion syndrome after bumping above his temple on a towel rod, turning in the shower with his eyes closed. That day, everything was fine. The next day I come home with the kids and he’s down on the floor, been there for hours bc he got dizzy getting ready to go to work. Over two years of the everything quiet, everything dark, he couldn’t drive, his personality changed, I’d come home scared every time with that same “what if it became too much to live like this” fears trying to find him. I know every case is different and I know when he was in the middle we’d hear people tell success stories coming out of PCS with timelines shorter than ours and it felt like that was our doom, like it’s been too long and it will never heal. But I just want to say I have hope for you - the brain is tricky but it has an amazing capacity for healing, even if it seems slow or impossible. I will pray that the Utah specialists can help or that some way some how he finds some daily relief and rest from the symptoms. As a wife who has walked this road with her husband, all my love to you. ❤️❤️❤️
@@willow_jayde much much better. He has a 4-6 hour migraine every 6 weeks or so. He’s careful of his head. We haven’t really tried having him run for exercise but he enjoys long walks and using the rowing machine. He was in grad school when he was injured and he did finally manage to graduate tho it took him 2 extra years. I’d say there’s some remaining personality change but idk how much is the physical change from the injury and how much is just dealing w/ the trauma of having your life upended like that. Oh, and he also was rediagnosed with ADHD - he had been as a child but his parents ignored it (yay the 90s) and he functioned well without meds till the injury. Now it’s more severe/difficult but he has learned a lot of ways to support himself.
I'm disabled and my husband spent all of his adult life taking care of his elderly parents and now he has to take care of me and the guilt kills me... seeing him happy and thriving in other areas of life means so much to me because I know if anything happens to me he has support now. He has friends and a job he loves and our 2 wonderful dogs... I know how Adam feels, and trust me when I say, him seeing you so successful gives him hope and happiness every single day.
Hey girl! So sorry to hear about this 😔 I’m not sure how Adam’s doing with his recovery but my mum fell a couple of years ago and ended up with a pretty bad concussion. She had similar things (going to all the doctors and getting different answers and not being her old self anymore, it was horrible!). She has found her saviour in the form of an Osteopath! He found a dent in her skull that was from the concussion and he believed was causing the symptoms. She’s been with him for a year now and honestly she’s nearly back to her old self and it’s been amazing! So, if you guys can find and afford it, I would suggest look for a good Osteopath near you and try that!☺️ I hope you find this message! Best of luck and much love to you both 💕
As a caregiver and someone with chronic illnesses as well, she sounds overwhelmed. I feel so bad seeing her hit this point where medicine doesn’t seem to have answers but you have to keep trying. The brain has so much healing potential and I deeply hope Celina and Adam find some treatments, some answers, and better quality of life 💜💜💜
“I would give up the rest of my life for one good year with you” you both have so much love for each other and that’s the most important part of this. the fact that you two even have each other is so beautiful and I truly wish you both the best
Celina. I just want you to know, you and Adam, have helped me get through the hardest 3 years of my life these past three years. I've fought cancer. Lost a kidney. Went into kidney failure. Had my 5th spinal surgery. Damaging my spine beyond help. And YOU and Adam keep me laughing and make me know that love is there. You're amazing. Never stop. You have an army behind you and Adam. Many blessings.
They are amazing at content-unparalleled really! I’m sorry your body is going against you making you prove how you are a Super-hero-sweetie what a hard row !! I think you deserve a cape!! Mom love coming at you!
Now look at Adam he is so much better and so happy , he finally got the help he needed in the States. And I know you are an amazing strong woman and loyal and ride or die for the ones you love and Adam . This video is so heartbreaking and personal and the pain in your voice and eyes. I'd love to meet you and Adam in person bc your energy is amazing
Is he better? I just discovered celina and this is like the second video of hers ive watched and its so sad. I hope he is doing better ❤ Edit: oh i see there is an update video, going to watch it now
Unfortunately, there are weirdos here on the internet that have made it impossible for the good people to meet up with them. I know we feel like we know them well cause Celina shares a lot of her life with us all. But at the end of the day we are all just internet friends. I mean no malice at all. I know your heart and intentions are coming from a good place.
I am so sorry Adam and yourself are going through this. I am a “medical nerd” because of my kids chronic illnesses, this also makes me really funny too because we have no bloody choice. You may not see this comment or someone might have already suggested it but concussion can set off certain conditions. So we have a condition called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) (don’t google pots because you get cooking vessels or green bush lol) it is a form of autonomic dysfunction it can be set off by a concussion, virus or just stupid autoimmune stuff. It has so many symptoms it’s ridiculous and causes massive issues. There is also other conditions that quiet often linked wit POTS. One being Ehler Danlos or Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder these conditions impact your connective tissue and lastly Mast Cell Activation Disorder which causes inappropriate histamine responses to things like food, temperature changes, stress, smells etc. I suppose as I listened to you I was thinking about my own kids health and wondering if it’s actually a number of things happening all at once, post concussion which has set off other conditions or set of inflammation which has caused an autonomic dysfunction. The touch thing is called Allodynia. All of what I have said may be stuff you have already heard but I wanted to share just incase. You manage to make me laugh every time I see your tiktoks. I love bad jokes and puns and it’s all about fighting the dark with the light and laughter however challenging it is. No one should have to go through this stuff but Adam sounds like he is incredibly lucky to have you in his life and I am sure he feels the same way. Love to you both and breath and be kind to yourself too.
I have hEDS, MCAS, and POTS as well. I agree. I feel what Celina and Adam are going through. Before I was diagnosed, I could barely function. Now I am back to a good quality of life.
Zoe Gow, I think you may be onto something. There's another RUclipsr "Stephi Lee" ,who recently posted about what her best friend's been dealing with and it sounds spot on to what she's dealing with.
Oh yeah, I heard about this through the New York Times Coloumn about undiagnosed patiens. Oh and it turned out to be very helpflull to use swarm intelligenze through the internet to get a diagnose and help
I work with the neurologists here in Utah who run the concussion center you’ve been invited to. Your concerns about traveling are valid, and I hope you can communicate that with a neurologist before coming-let me know if I can help get you in contact. And I’d just like to say that these neurologists work every day to find treatments for TBI. They’re wonderful people and even better medical professionals. I’ve personally met people and have interviewed others who suffered from TBI and who now have returned to their regular life after different treatments. Keep your hope alive. 🤍
Celina I arrived here a few months ago for the sleepwalking. I fell in love with you and Adam when you shared your pregnancy journey. You're an incredible storyteller, and one of the most wonderful human beings that I've had the joy of coming across. My sincerest gratitude for sharing your pain, your love, your family. My sincerest wishes that utah brings back the life that Adam deserves to live.
I became disabled when I was 39. My husband left me for another woman 4 years later. Times were tough. I have finally gotten the right meds and now at 53 I am grabbing my life back. I have a caregiver 37 hours a week. I can't even take a shower without her. Let him know that there are more people out here that know where he is at. It will get better. It will be difficult and different. I have a scooter now. But I don't yet have a car with a ramp for it. One step at a time. I take 100 mg morphine 2x a day along with other pain meds. I was so suicidal at the beginning but I have 3 kids to live for and I am glad that I didn't die 10 years ago. Keep pushing for that diagnosis or medication. Find the new joy and purpose in life.
@@barbaraeichler7469 Thank you. Jesus is the reason for my purpose in life. I am working on getting back to church EVERY Sunday like I did my whole life until I was disabled. I found a good church. I would like to find a good Christian Man to spend my life with also. It is a good thing that I am looking forward for myself. I would love to teach the Word to people. I am a great public speaker and I am very educated about the Bible and History. My parents were missionaries and my dad was an international teacher at churches and on Christian TV. I attended Christian schools and college besides being a missionary in my late teens. However, I have always found it difficult for Women to have the opportunity to teach in church. (Unless your the pastor's wife). I am thinking about starting a RUclips blog about my journey through disability loss of marriage after 23 years and raising my kids through their teen years as a single parent. The things I have learned and the things that I am still learning while finding my way back to the deep relationship I had with God before I went down the rabbit hole.
God Bless you stay strong!! I've been with my guy 27+ years, kid's are grown & I've had 7 major surgeries & after getting him near retirement he don't want to be with me anymore!! I deal with alot of pain everyday & I just started my job 6 years ago after lifting him up to get thru & trying to get another 15 years in for a pension for myself!! It's terrible when your other half say we are in this until the end & it turned into a lie hurts me!! I wish I could find a place to help me Wyeth my pain medication!! It's daunting because right now I'm trying to learn how to walk again & my job is in good until feb 2nd praying to get better!! I pray you get better & definitely surround yourself with people that love you!!
Fuck this made me tear up so bad. I'm new to your channel and seeing this made have so much respect for you. You are so strong and the fact that you feel so strongly just shows how much you care. I really hope he is better now and for you guys to have many more GOOD years together
I'm legit crying. The pure devotion and actual love and care, is insanely wholesome and the world definitely needs more of both of you. Honestly, I wouldn't mind little videos about you just telling us various stories and experiences. The memories you have are precious.
My moms now fiancé, fell off a 14 foot ladder and smashed his head. Has a TBI obviously. Entire personality change and mood stuff. It was peak pandemic and we couldn’t go visit. They also have a two year old- one at the time- but he’s better now. On a shitload of medications like mood stabilizers. I hope he gets better and everything works out for you guys. Your privacy is valid and you don’t need to share anything you don’t want. I’m wishing the best for you guys ❤️❤️❤️
“I would give up the rest of my life for one good year with you…where we could just be normal” I feel this so deeply as the spouse of a chronically ill person. There’s only so much I can do to negate what their illness has taken from them and us. We just need our people to get the help they deserve. It’s hard not to feel helpless sometimes, and honestly I think that’s okay to need a battery recharge, and then that glimmer of hope shows up. A doctor that listens, a new treatment to access, a supportive community, any spark for the fight to get better. My spouse and I recently found a spark, and I so deeply hope this program in Utah is that spark for you and Adam.
I know your pain, fear and sorrow. My husband sustained a severe traumatic brain injury in 2011. He was in a coma for 4 months then woke up a quadriplegic who couldn't talk or eat and had complete amnesia. I cared for him for 8 years, until the day he passed as a result of his injury. We never did find out how he was injured. My prayers for you and Adam. ♥️🙏
Hey Celina, I was in a really bad car wreck when I was 16 (I'm currently 24), and was t-boned by another driver going 65 in a 25 which left me with a severe traumatic brain injury that I still live with till this day. I had really severe migraines that would come and go with any sound or light, and my communication suffered to a really extreme degree (my communication is still a little goofy at times but I can at least talk now). I moved to Utah in October of 2020 to go to a clinic that specializes in neurological rehabilitation, I'm not sure if its the same one you were talking about, but I really cannot recommend it more. I'm not sure if this information will help you in anyway but having gone through a similar experience I wish I had done it so much sooner. I'll be hoping for Adam to feel better and find what works for him
I second what you said about the clinic in Utah and I’m so glad they were able to help you! My friend went there as well, two years after her concussion her family was still eating on paper plates using plastic cutlery because the sound of regular cutlery and plates was too loud and triggered headaches. She couldn’t work, she struggled with basic tasks, sometimes even talking. A year after going to the Utah clinic she’s back to work, back to socializing, back to playing piano. I’m so glad they were able to help you and help my friend. I hope they can help Adam too.
I'm a lurker rather than a commenter but your, "...we'd take 10." had me sobbing. The way you describe your love for eachother, that synergy of being more together than you could be apart, I have that with my partner. I actually hate to talk about it because I always feel like I'm bragging. Even trying to imagine the pain and struggle you both are feeling guts me, which hurts even more because I know I am only imagining the pain that you are 100 fold living. I've never hoped so much for strangers in my life, and I don't know if love, words, hope, or manifest prayers make a difference but you two have all of mine. 😔
If you haven't, get his growth hormone levels checked! I guess it's still relatively new to medical world. But a friend of mine spent 2 years bouncing between doctors trying to figure out why she wasn't getting better from a supposedly mild concussion only to find out her pituitary gland had been injured when she hit her head and her hormone levels were basically non-existent. She has to take hormone shots every day but it's been helping.
My daughter had to leave work due to concussion, just simply picking up a bag from beneath a table she hit her forehead. If she gets stressed or tired she gets what we call "episodes" , she acts drunk. We have been told it could last for years... obviously this has caused her depression to escalate. It is an everyday battle and the doctors can't do anything. I had to pressure the doctors to give her a scan, just in case it wasn't a concussion... but nothing showed up. Like you said....my daughter just wants to be normal again. Big hugs to you both and thank you for sharing this 💕💕💕
I am in Adam's position. I have a condition called PNES and it's caused me so many physical concerns. I fear my husband will leave because I know thay he didn't sign up to be a caretaker. You are helping me see that his love for me outweighs this disorder. Thank you for showing me the other side!
Hi Celina, neurodegenerative conditions, especially when you dont have a diagnosis or are dubious as to its accuracy, is extremely hard. Just know that it's ok to mourn the person he was and still love him as he is now. I hope that you both are able to find a good treatment and his quality of life improves. I found that moving closer to treatment centers and specialists made getting specialized care and treatment feasible. My quality of life has improved ten-fold with this heightened access. Three years ago I couldn't drive, couldn't work, couldn't study, could hardly stand longer than 2 minutes and struggled to get up ten stairs. Now I do all of those things, daily. Not to mention, having solid medical documentation of what is going on EXACTLY when he is experiencing symptoms is a jumping-off point for how to treat his symptoms and his disease. P.S. Antidepressant helped a lot in my case as well! To be completely frank, three years ago when I couldn't do anything I wanted to leave this earth. I almost did several times. Antidepressants have given me the ability to dream about life again, even if I am in pain or have limited mobility.
@@NeoWoot You’re so powerful and brave. I’m going through a very similar experience to you, and I’m getting better too. I wouldn’t say I’ve progressed as much as you have, but I know I soon will because lately I’ve been feeling exactly how you put it; I can dream about life again. Thank you for this comment, it really hit home for me.
I suffer from Meniers Disease as well. Lost hearing in one ear and the vertigo sucksss ass. Non stop tinnitus. I am so glad that you have someone there for you that is understanding and caring. I unfortunately did not, but after being separated now I am much happier. Not about me, you are simply amazing and I love watching your videos. I currently am sitting at work laughing (wheezing) my ass off. So thank you!!
As a girl who went from healthy and happy to terminally ill in a matter of days, I relate to this so much. Changes your whole "life" if it's even living at all.
Hi Celina I just have to say (as a person who has suffered from a traumatic brain injury) that I understand your pain. My journey to recovery was not easy but after many years I consider myself as healed as I will ever be, which is pretty darn good. I can function like a regular human being and I don’t generally suffer from many severe side effects anymore. Even the migraines (which I used to get at least a couple times a week) have decreased significantly. It was awful for me and everyone involved, and I felt like a burden to my family. We all had to heal together from that, and I blamed myself even though it was no one’s fault. I was blessed to live near John’s Hopkins Hospital, who took my case when no one else wanted to tackle it. As you can understand, stories like this make me very sad, and I can only pray that Adam makes an adequate recovery eventually. Thank you for sharing your story and just know that you two provide me (and of course many others) with so much laughter and joy.
I totally understand you cause I just suffered from a brain injury 6months ago and have to heal and it is so tough cause I was in a wreak losing a partner its tough for everyone so reading this gives me hope on healing
The reason I shared is that I hoped someone would find it useful so thank you for your response. I wish you a full recovery. IT CAN BE DONE. Do not lose hope. That is half the battle.
This lady has actually cheered me up with some of her stories especially the sleepwalking. When I've felt down she's always brought a smile to my face. I feel so bad knowing none of us van do much accept be here if she ever needs anything. I felt myself sobbing to this. So crazy seeing the bubbly outgoing,freely speaking Celina to this sadness...this shows how real some of these people are the ones who respect enough to let people know how they are really feeling. We send over our love and support from London ,take everyday as it comes and try not to stress over the little things,change is hard and sometimes a long process but the strength you have will be your coping mechanism 😥🙌💫❤
What you’re experiencing is called ambiguous loss. You are grieving for the person and life you used to have. Looking at the situation in this way and working through your stages of grief could help you guys 💙 praying for you both
So sorry to hear what your husband is going through. I'm an optometrist who is residency trained in neuro-optometry and vision therapy. We help patients all the time who have had post concussive syndrome. I really think you should look into seeing a neuro optometrist in your area and I am happy to help you find someone (as it can be tricky)! The right lenses (usually with prism) and vision therapy can honestly be life changing for some people. Sounds like the place your husband will be going to in Utah will also be wonderful. Often times at these concussion rehab facilities they will have occupational therapists and physical therapists who dabble a little bit in vision therapy, but they don't truly know how to handle the brain-eye connection like a neuro optometrist does. If he finishes his program there and it still seems like there is still something amiss; vision therapy/a neuro optometrist evaluation may be what he needs. Feel free to reach out anytime if you have questions! (edit: just looked up that you live in London Ontario and London Vision Development Centre is the place you need to go! Best of luck!)
I had a minor head bump back in 2014, I instantly had dizziness and panic attacks, in 2020 I had double nastagmus surgery to help "correct" my "issue" after many years of debilitating mental health issues. 2 years later and I have been able to tell a big difference the past year. My neuro-optometrist in Knoxville, TN also believed it was a disconnect between my brain and my eyes. Nothing ever showed up on all of the tests I had done with many different medical specialists. Or any medication I had tried. I truly believe when you reach the deepest darkest pit of your life, you tent to accept your fate, and look at it like it can only come up from here! I still struggle daily from somewhat of a ptsd from everything I have been thru since this started. One day at a time is all I try to accomplish and enjoy to the best that I am able to!
I understand what you are going through. I lost my husband 4 years ago. I watched my husband diteriate. I know how hard it is. It started with an infection. We live on emergency services, spent years in the hospital. And everytime he got quiet, I had to make sure he was still breathing. Big hugs
This is the first video I've seen of yours. It randomly showed up on my homepage and I honestly thought it was going to be completely different. Instead you stole my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for being so open and honest. These are the stories that truly matter. Love over all.💜 I decided to watch some more of your videos and you are INCREDIBLE!! I have subscribed and officially a die hard fan!💜💜💜
Me too! I watch the video where she shows Adam the poop eyeshadow that she made, and I cracked up! So this is my second video, and wow. My heart just breaks. We all have our struggles. They all look different, but we all have them. I’m glad we’re both here!
I fell in love with Celina over a year ago after seeing one of funny REAL personal sleepwalking vids but then she is WAYYYY MORE than that and I love her so much. She’s quirky, smart, real, funny, heartfelt plus more and shares it! She’s wonderful. Please check her out and you’ll see yourself in a bit of her and love her too. I promise!
He sounds like a living angel. In so much pain everyday but he’s still just the sweetest human being. I have hope. I’m sending lots of healing energy your way.
I was Adam as well. For 4 years and my husband was you. He had also lost his brother and mother before and while being with me. I felt like I wanted to die. I looked into euthanasia and had a date set and I finally got a team of drs who found a treatment plan that gave me my life back. I have had to work really hard to get back to my "normal" self. I still struggle and these diseases I have are chronic but you're doing an amazing job and I can relate to your brother and my husband to you. Don't stop going to drs, don't stop getting second opinions, don't stop demanding the best treatment. Everything is temporary and I don't want me saying that to diminish any of the emotions you're feeling. Keep talking about it, keep sharing, but don't give up.
God I’m so fucking happy you made it. I can completely get euthanasia when quality of life is so low but I’m so glad that there was another way. You only experience this life one time… And I’m so glad that you got to enjoy it again
Praying for you and Adam girl. I get what you are going through to an extent. While its not my husband, my next best man in my life, my grandpa was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease 6 years ago and he is at a transition where he is losing many of his abilities and it is devastating him and all of us. My heart just breaks for you and Adam.
I honestly can’t even imagine what you’re both going through. Celina , you radiate compassion and selfless love. Thank you for being so vulnerable. Praying for success with Adam’s treatment in Utah.
"...and I just start running all around the house to find him." This hit hard. I am not dealing with the same thing you are, at all. But I totally understand THIS feeling. My husband has not always been in good mental health and he's a chronic pain sufferer because of various medical issues.... He once told me early in our marriage that he had put a gun in his mouth in a place where I wouldn't have been able stop him....months after the fact. Thank the Lord he didn't do it, but I find my self being a little more paranoid than I'd like to admit. He's now way better mentally and we've really strong faith now, in my head I completely trust him to no longer want to leave us...but sometimes when times are hard, I still REALLY WATCH him and I don't think that trauma will ever go away....And even if it isn't self inflicted, his medical issues alone keep me on edge sometimes for his well-being, Praying for the both of you.
My husband is a chronic pain patient and his mind is strong. But he says he can understand why chronic pain patients choose to end it. He doesn't think it's the right choice, but he can understand why they feel it is at that moment. He promises me he will never choose that option and I believe his faith is stronger. I pray for all in these circumstances and pray they find faith, or embraced it
I’ve never had the suicidal thoughts but I do understand why and how one can feel this way. I’ve tried to get my husband to just leave me or let me just leave and suffer alone in silence. I think the guilt we feel is just so overwhelming & we don’t know how to properly process “THE NEW ME”, each and everyday we just hope to wake up being “THE OLD ME” again. Thank you all for sharing your heartfelt journeys. Life is not easy but throwing the pandemic in the mix just amped each and everyone of us up & to already be fighting each and everyday as a healthy & financially sound person, they too are struggling .
I am so sorry youre going through this, I couldve wrote every word you just did word for word. My husband's mental health issues are connected to his military service and the things he was forced to do in Iraq. He has tried a few times but then told me he is a coward because he couldnt go through with it, but my service dog is who alerted me every time he was trying. I finally sold the gun because I said I didnt need it for protection if it was going to be the end of my life and my husband. For a long time he wasnt even allowed to have his hunting rifles and I wouldnt allow him to even go hunting even though I know that is his happy place. I finally found a psych that is in private practice and got him away from the VA for his mental health and I can say this doctor has got him back closest to the man he was before, that I think he ever will be. The VA doctors had changed his psych meds 54 times in 2 years, so he couldnt ever get used to anything to see if it would help him. For a long time I wouldnt let him out of my sight, I wouldnt even go take a shower and leave him alone because I knew the first time he tried, I was doing just that taking a quick shower and my service dog left the bathroom from where she never moved, if I was in the shower, but I could hear her in the other room barking her head off like something was wrong and like she was trying to alert that I was having a seizure, but I knew I wasnt and that I felt fine. So I hurried and jumped out the shower with shampoo still in my hair and soap all down my back and ran naked to the bedroom where she was and my husband was sitting there with my gun in his lap loaded and I asked him how the hell did he get the trigger lock off and he simply held up my chain that had one of his dog tags on it, my little brother's dog tag(who committed suicide in Feb 2013) a casing from the 12 the gun salute that was done for my brother at his funeral, and the keys to my gun case and trigger lock, I kept those keys on me at all times because I had small kids at the time, but they were at school so I thought it was safe to take them off and lay them on the counter while I was in shower, thing is the counter was outside the actual bathroom where the shower and toilet were, so he was able to sneak and grab them while I had the water running and music playing on my phone. I think that was the scariest day of my life and trust me I broke my back in 2009 and was told I would be paralyzed for the rest of my life and most people would think that would be classified as the scariest day, but no, the day I realized that if I didnt become the advocate for my husband and his mental health, I was going to be a widow in my early 30's. I finally was able to talk him into retiring from the military in 2014 when he hit his 20 years enlisted, had he had his way he wouldve stayed enlisted til the day they kicked him out because he was just too old to do anything. Alot of what made him worse was the fact that his mom who was his world died 6 months to the day that he came home from Iraq the second time and that was May 2011, and I can say I have never gotten over it and I'm crying my eyes out as I am typing this because thinking about all of it breaks my heart because my husband is a broken shell of himself because he gave 20 years of his life to this damn country but they dont care enough to give our veterans the care and support they truly need because they know they are disposable because there are more turning 18 everyday and enlisting in the military so the ones that come home broken, they just replace them with younger versions that dont honestly know what they are getting into.
My best friend, he was in a seriously abusive relationship that caused so much PTSD. He also has work experience that caused more PTSD, he also is in so much fucking pain physically. He has a bad back and knees. He's also since picked up drinking. So I have these nightmares that one day I'll text him and he won't respond and I'll never find out why.
I’ve been here and I can’t explain how difficult it is. We were on a walk once and I turned around and he’d gone. There was a very tall, multi-storey car park/parking garage close by and I feared the worst. I ran around town for hours, trying to contact him before realising he’d found his way home. I’ve never felt fear like that. There’s times where he’d emptied meds down the toilet in front of me. Times he’d do dangerous stuff. He was crying, desperate for help. He’s doing much much better now, and I’m focusing on my own mental health too, but I’ll never forget those dark days. It really truly changes you. ❤️
I wish you both all the success! 50% sounds like a huge blessing!! Wishing you both well! Hearing you speak of Adam the way you do, is special- very special. He will come back 🙏🏻♥️
I know this video is a year old, but I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing. I wanted to tell you something that helps me. (For context I am a 4 time left leg amputee, I've had 43 surgeries, and I suffer from a condition call Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.) Anyway one day it occurred to me that our best looks different every day and that's okay! It helped ease some of the pressure that I put on myself to do and be a version of myself that I am not currently capable of. Sending you love and healing vibes! ❤️❤️❤️ (Also, I'm from Utah. We rock here! )
What an amazingly small world made even smaller by this beautifully touching video! Celina’s love and compassion has created an entire community - many of whom are in similar if not identical situations! I’m not an amputee but I’ve had multiple surgeries and have had EDS all my life. I rarely get a chance to leave the house and some would say I don’t have good quality of life. Others think I’m a hypochondriac or am making up this invisible illness. I would rather have good health than all the money in the world. It truly is priceless and taken for granted. Even though life appears dark, community is found here and we feel less alone. This video is a source of inspiration for those of us who need strength and inspiration in our darkest days. It is ok to not be the old version of your self that you can no longer be! Sending healing love and light to you and everyone in this community who needs it. Life is an arduous battle but we are amazingly strong and will fight for better days to come, whatever that may look like!
As a fellow person with chronic illness & just a huge fan I want to say that I personally can’t WAIT to shake Adam’s hand some day. Sending healing thoughts and so much love. Speaking healing in Utah into existence for you both. Please remember to care for yourself too Celina. You BOTH deserve rest and healing. ❤️
Sending you love. Remember, you CAN tell fans you don't want to talk about things. Just because you're open and talk freely with us doesn't mean you need to talk about it all the time. It's okay to say "I rather not talk about it". It's okay to have boundaries
You're a wonderful storyteller, but more importantly, a wonderful soul. I'd share my story just to help you feel 'not' alone, but this isn't the place or time. Just know that whenever a "good" person suffers like Adam, we are well aware it can be harder on the ones that love ya the most. I hope all people that go through that struggle have someone like you (or my wife) in their corner
Bless you!!!!! I lost my husband on 5-11-2023....I miss him. So so so soooooool much! When you describe your relationship it's like your describing us. Our relationship. Thank you for your testimony...., God blessed you..... Love the both of you for bringing joy into my world even for a little bit.❤❤❤❤😊
I'm also disabled and I'm never happy the pain is so intense but the only thing that puts a smile on my face is you and Adam! I pray that Adam will get well you both are my medicine!! Thank you both for what you do. Get well Adam and what a great wife!!
So I’m also disabled. I have spinal bifida along with tethered cord, and a history of osteomyelitis and chronic wounds. Last year I learned about Kratom. And it has been such a relief for my pain. Just something to maybe research. I sleep again. Which to someone who doesn’t deal with chronic pain is like what? But I get to sleep because of this plant and I’m not one of those people who believes in homeopathic medicine but this just works.
my boyfriend passed away 5 months ago to a brain injury from a car accident. we were together 5 years and i genuinely have always felt a connection to you and adam because of how similar our relationships are. i am so sorry. there are no words.
This is one of the hardest videos I have ever watched, I can not imagine how hard it was for you to film. You may not feel he has quality of life, but he had quality of love in you. You can hear how much you love him. Just because you put your life online doesn't mean that people are entitled to know everything about you. You are so strong xx
Thank you for explaining yours and Adam's struggles. I definitely relate to Adam and you. I got shingles in 2015 and it has never left. It's caused nerve degeneration and post herpetic neuralgia. My quality of life down spiraled these last 9 years. My ability of function has gone from being able to go seasonal camping with my family to now barely going anywhere and doing anything. Other medical issues have complicated my health and life further. Be strong. For you as well as Adam. Be happy he is with you and enjoy every little thing. The depression is real. ❤ also brain injuries can be difficult. My father had a cerebral aneurysm in the same area as where Adam's injury occurred. The life quality is worth it as long as he has you. ❤
Celine, I first saw you on Sam and Colby, and joined your RUclips channel as soon as it finished. Watching this broke me. I’ve never had to pause a video in the middle due to emotion. Your story was very close to the bone for me, a similar parallel which had me in floods of tears. Not the same cause, but the life changes, the pain, the illness, the frustration, the feeling of being lost and the bubble of uncertainty and dread of “what’s next” always floating around, and that guilt. I can totally relate to you, your new normal..but that normal is always changing. You are not on your own gurl.. you’re very much loved. Thank you for sharing such a hard personal topic. I love your videos on life, your sleep walking - something else I know about at first hand. Stay strong, love and light to you and Adam. Hugs from England 🏴 🇬🇧💜
Don’t feel like you HAVE to give us updates girly. You need to focus on Adam and yourself before us ❤️ we are all here for both of you and if there is any way we can donate to help you guys, please let us know! I cannot imagine what you are going through just know you both have all the support and love in the world. He will get better, manifest mama!!! ❤️🤞🏻
"If I didn't have Adam...if the world didn't have Adam..." Girl, you love him so much. I wish with everything that I have that he can find relief. He's got a treasure in you. You guys...omg. I love you both so much and thank you for sharing with us. This stuff is never easy, and it's certianly not something you should feel you have to do alone.
This is the kind of thing I'm so afraid of happening to my own partner, or to me and burdening him with an even more broken version of myself (I have cerebral palsy and bad self-esteem problems). But you're so, so beautifully strong, Celina. You're his number one support, and I'll be praying for you two. Please keep us updated when you feel comfortable. Don't feel like you're letting us down, he takes priority- he's your husband. We understand that.
I pray Adam gets better, and his brain heals quickly. I can see and hear the pain in your eyes and voice. It broke my heart, watching this. We all love you both and praying for yall.
My heart breaks for you and your husband. When you speak of him it sounds like you're giving a eulogy for a living person. You said "We can have it all, yet have nothing." Very true. Don't loss hope. I will keep you two in my thoughts and prayers.
I cannot pretend I understand what day to day life is like for both of you. I can tell you that, as a chronic pain survivor, your role in your husband's life is precious and likely keeps him alive. Having someone who loves you unconditionally makes all pain less overwhelming. It can't take it away but his ability to endure is likely mostly because of you.
As a mom to an adult who suffered a severe TBI (left side craniectomy), my heart breaks for you. Recovery is a freaking marathon. There is no way to make it go quicker, you just have to hold on. Hold on tight! Especially to those good days. Prayers for you all.
"He was the one that fixed everything. And I just wish that I could fix him." Fuck... That's... Wow. You guys are in our thoughts & prayers. Please try & remember that no matter how bad things get, it is not forever. Your pain will always cease. And the sun will come up again.
You're right as a loving wife and friend to share this with your viewers. From someone who has brought her idiosyncrasies to the web all bold and real, oftentimes relatable always cute and lovable. By accepting a challenge to market your unique personality, you are indeed a story of success, gaining countless fans. You and Adam will receive the support and prayers from enough people to fill a football stadium. And the focal attentiveness of positivity and well wishes from that many people harness the power to conjure miracles. Never lose hope. You and your hubby will receive blessings while u both remain in the thoughts of all your adoring fans that you have won over by being an individual with a dynamic personality. Zapping you both with positive energy bolts, val
Oh Celina... I can't imagine what you're feeling. I'm just crying for you. You're so strong. Have you done therapy for yourself? It might help you cope with everything. It's different than letting your feelings out for all of us, especially keeping a lot private. You're both so loved. You're not alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened. Mad respect for you for sharing your story. ❤
Hi Celina, i know this is 2 years ago, but this really touched my heart. I went through somethjng very similar that your husband went thru. I was skateboarding back in 2018 and i fell and hit my head really bad off the road on my right temple, i sprained my neck and injured my back and my SI joints. Its taken YEARS for me to recover. For the first three years i was ALWAYS in pain, my whole body hurt, i couldnt sit for too long and when i did sit it had to be straight up on a kitchen chair with cushions, i couldnt sleep, i had to lay straight on my back to sleep for three years. I hardly slept, i couldnt watch tv, couldnt hold my phone it hurt too much, couldnt walk too much, couldnt ride in the car, was misdiagnosed for years, was told i was fine when i clearly was not fine. I was misdiagnosed with fibromyalgia for years after then to realize it was post concussion disorder, drs like to tell you that doesnt exist but it for sure does. My whole life changed bc of one fall.
During my 2nd cancer battle I complained that life with me sucks. My husband said, " I'd rather have a lifetime of bad days with you than one day without you." That meant the world to me.
🥺 that's so sweet, yup, the heart wants what the heart wants ❤️ Im so happy for you both that you have found your person and that you're together 🌞
Awww you found a great guy
🥺💖 My eyes are raining that is so sweet
Pray hard baby girl
I’m chronically ill I have no immune system a two day flu for most people is two weeks for me. On top of that I have a pain condition so it wears me out so much faster than it wears anyone else out. My husband while I’m sick has to take over the laundry and feeding everyone and doing the shopping and I feel so frustrated and useless. I’m like out of everyone out there why would you pick the sick person! He just says because you’re my person. I knew you were sick when I married you I knew what I was signing up for and I wouldn’t take it back for anything in the world. I don’t deserve him but I adore him. I’m glad you lucked out too especially with batting cancer having a support system is half the battle. ❤
I WAS Adam. My boyfriend WAS you. Healing is not linear. I had a tumor in the geographical center of my brain, it was pushing on brain structures causing an acquired brain injury. I was out of commission for years, the same as he is now. The brain heals SO slowly and SO mysteriously, it genuinely doesn't seem like any progress is being made, but I promise he is healing in his own way. All that healing might decide to show one day randomly! Don't lose that hope, it's not misplaced I promise 💘 It's worth him getting sicker in order to get proper treatment. It seems so counterintuitive but I promise once you find his treatment team it will all pay off. Finding the right treatment and doctor is 75% of the battle I swear. Stay strong guys 💕
I hope she sees this!!
If nobody has told you today, I'm so happy and proud of you for your progress and all your accomplishments. I hope Celina and Adam have the same success as you.
This! I have also been in this place but I was silent for 2 years while living in a toxic relationship with someone who still put high demands on me even though I could barely function. I took care of her kids, one is autistic. Even with deep depression and an anxiety I’d never experienced before brain brain damage, I found a way out and began healing. It’s definitely a slow healing for the brain! But even in the worst conditions it can be restored!
Did this cause memory issues and hearing loss by chance?
@@nicolereadstarot hi, this comment came in a response to my comment, not sure if you meant that but for me it caused partial memory loss and hearing issues. I couldn’t the remember names and faces of people I was really close to including family members. I would have a slight feeling that I knew these people but I wasn’t sure how I knew them. I lost a lot of my vocabulary in Spanish and English. It took me years to regain that stuff. As for hearing it’s just different. Some sounds give me anxiety now. It was never an issue because. Mine was from an MMA injury though. Well, a few head injuries 😬. Not a tumor.
As someone who is disabled and struggles with pain, all we want are people like you surrounding us. Caring, thoughtful, and strong people. Adam is so lucky to have you. I'll be praying.
Agreed! 😇✨🙌
Me too and I agree x
Same and I agree
Yes, same
Amen. In my story, I am Adam and my husband is you sweetie.
I'm watching this in 2024, and Adam is doing soooooo much better. I love seeing you guys together.
This broke my heart. It’s crazy how one little moment in time like working in your garden can change the whole direction of your life. My son wanted to take a ride on a 4 wheeler and even tho it made me nervous, I didn’t want to be overprotective. In one second, it flipped and my son was gone. Ten years old and I lost him in an instant. One minute I was watching tv and an hour later I was donating my son’s organs. Never take a day for granted because life really can change in the blink of an eye. My prayers are with you guys!❤️
I'm so sorry to hear that! I don't have kids so I really can't even imagine. I hope you are doing well today, and I really hope you know that by donating his organs you made sure he lives on still. How beautiful is that, in the literal worst moment of your life, you still had compassion for others ❤️. Sending love your way 🥰
I'm sorry for your loss, God bless
Omg ill never 4get this comment...
I’m so sorry 🙏🏼❤️ as a mother I couldn’t even begin to imagine your pain. Sending you the biggest hug!!
Thank you all so much! It’s obviously something you never get over but at the same time I’m so blessed! I have a beautiful family and blessed I got to be his Momma even for a short time! Being his mother was the honor and joy of my life! Hope all of you are well and thank you so much for your kind words!❤️
"I am sharing this, but if we meet irl I do not wish to talk about it." I love this. Setting boundaries and telling us this is your life and you get to choose what and how and when you share it. I just wanted to show support. I am sorry you and your husband have to deal with everything. It sucks.
I truly hope this is respected for her. ♥️
I hope you can get him to the brain clinic, somehow. Post Concussion Syndrome is NOT pretty, it is hard on the victims AND on the caregivers. My heart goes out to you both.❤
Love you so much boo
It’s so kind you would comment this
Kris that's so thoughtful 🥰
Your the best kris ❤️ your so thoughtful I’m happy that you are here for celina 🥺❤️
@@ambersmith2141 hey kris!!
love you guys
Don’t worry about letting everyone else down…spend time with Adam and when you need a reboot we will always be here for ya!
oh, this! I love this channel, it's adorable, but family is family.
You say you're not sure he has quality of life but when we see him laughing at your terrible amazing jokes or your sleepwalking antics, we know you are giving him QUALITY of life. You're made for one another and together you've GOT THIS. xxx
So true and wholesome. I hope she gets to see this comment because no matter how bad it gets he has her and she makes him smile and laugh and they are beautiful and so real together ❤
This needs to get boosted into her view, because it is so true. I always thought that watching videos with them both.
He is always happy seeing her be herself and doing shenanigans, and she should hopefully see that.
🙏🏽💜
For a long time I felt that my husband had died in his car accident. He was a shadow of himself. So much of what you describe is eerily familiar. His car accident happened 3 weeks after my huge open cancer surgery. His steering wheel broke off and his steering column hit his face hard enough to break his jaw. 7 years later we have found stability and way of life that works for him. I sincerely hope it happens for you.
is there a chance i can ask what yall did? i have a tbi and am slowly losing function and have almost no memory retention, i am trying very hard to find some stability for the future
As a person with lifelong chronic illness and disability, I wanted to let you know how privileged I feel that you both would be willing to share this with us. Its such a terrible, horrible, incredibly unfair thing, and I know that nothing any of us can say will make it better. I hope that things get better for you both. I hope you can make it to Utah. We're here with you
I second this, from another chronically ill person! 💔 we're all here for you both, keep being amazing and even though its hard, keep fighting. You've got this. Xx
I second this as well. I've been living with ptsd since 2018 and I can say it changed my life completely. I feel like I'm at full war with my own brain, barely holding on to reality sometimes and the fear can feel so overwhelming. When she said he is a shell of his former self. I felt that so hard. Yall are in my prayers. I hope Adam experiences a miracle someway somehow
I came here as a chronically ill person to echo this. Having someone in your corner to take care of you and be an advocate for you to the specialists does more than you know. Your love for Adam shines through in everything that you do. Take whatever time you need to get as much help as you feel is necessary. We will be here cheering you on whenever you get back💜💜💜💜💜💜
@@saraphinya2142 so sorry to hear this, I know it isn't much, but I hope you are okay. Keep fighting xx
Just wanted to say I love your username and sending you all the positive vibes!
Adam needs an indoor hydroponics garden! Something he can sit and watch with no need to do much physical work. Perhaps seeing the plants grow over the days/weeks/months will spark happiness as he clearly used to love tending to plants. Nostalgia can be oh so powerful!
Yesss! Or bird feeders outside. I'm disabled and love watching birds.
Maybe a fish tank? 🐠
Even better ~~~ Hydroponics + fish garden!! The fish live in the water & it nourishes the plants further!!
@@Sam-df5kl That would be aquaponics
@@Sam-df5kl that's what I'm referring to. The only way to do a true free fed hydro is fish.
"I'd give my whole life up, just for 1 year to be with you".
What a beautiful, selfless thing to say. My Soul goes out to you.
Much love from Australia.
Have you thought of a beanbag pillow
My husband literally just went to an aunt's funeral two weeks ago, a really athletic one who did crossfit and everything. She was mountain climbing, fell and hit her head, went to the doctors and they said it's fine, she went home, went drinking with her adult kids, had a good time. Two days later, didn't wake up. Head injuries are terrifying. I'm so sorry you've been through so much.
Uhhh anybody with a brain knows alcohol thins the blood and any possible injury is exponentially worse after consuming alcohol.
If she went to the hospital they would have told her no drinking and possible MRI for brain bleeds
@@BobbyB910 Was that really necessary to say it like that?
Uhhh Anyone with a heart would have worded that better. Jeez.
@@BobbyB910that's not nice to say in this case. if i said that to a very close friend or family member of yours, you would be upset. please word these things better.
Hi Celina, I kept wandering where I've seen you. Then it hit me "OMG...THATS THE SLEEP WALKING FUNNY LADY" Celina I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Adam too. I'm sure that you have heard of actor Liam Neeson. In March 2009, he and his family went on a ski trip. His wife, actress Natasha Richardson wasn't wearing a helmet and hit a tree with her head while skiing. She claimed to be fine and refused any medical help but complained about a severe headache. She was flown to Lenox Hill hospital in New York where she died 2 days later from an epideral hematoma caused by her brain injury. I'm praying for you and your family. I'm praying for full recovery for Adam. ❤
@@BobbyB910anybody with a brain can read a room.. not cool.
Hi Celina. My coworker shared this video with me because she connected the dots that this is what I am going through as well. Post concussion syndrome is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. I went to the concussion clinic in Utah and it was life changing. There is hope for Adam and you guys are very strong for holding onto that! I also wanted to mention a PCS support group that makes a huge difference for my recovery so that I don’t feel so isolated and alone. It is called Concussion Connect! I wish you both the best and just wanted to share that resource and my healing energy your way. 💕
I hope she sees this!
He is now going there because they made a video about it!! Thank you for putting out this information for others. Hopefully other people will see it also & that they have the money to go there.
She says at the end of the video that they’re going. I’m so excited and hope for the absolute best!
Thank you for posting this and I swear I am not making this up. So back in 2012 I was working at Sonic, it was during summer time and I was carhopping on my roller blades. The guy that kept the sidewalks and road clear of any tripping hazards had up and quit few days before my accident. I was taking a sundae banana split out to a car, I step off the side walk and went to blade the order over when something got lodged in my wheels throwing me backwards causing me to slam my head on the concrete. It didn't knock my out but I had a hugh not in the back of my head that was the Size of a baseball. Bcuz of that accident it turned my world upside down and hasn't gotten better. It's hard to explain but my marriage ended not too long after. I tried to have relationships to where I was too much to handle, friendships ended, and much more. I had been taking antidepressants and anti-anxieties, seeing counselors, therapist, psychologist trying everything possible to feel like my old self. I had even become disconnected from kids and it kills me inside. Every day has been a fight for me. Celina again thank you for having the courage to share your story. I'll be making an appointment with my doctor to have this checked out.
BOOST
when he told you “i’d give up the rest of my life to have ONE good year with you” i actually started crying. sending so much love to you & Adam. i hope you both find answers. ❤️
Yep that’s what really sent me over the edge 😭 I hope they can get healing so they can have many good years
Omg that resonated with me on many levels as well . Broke my heart.
same here, but brain injuries are still such a mystery to the world of medicine, its crazy to think they can do so much but the brain is still such a huge mystery. I had one when I was 2 and I am now 42 and I still suffer from seizures and horrible migraines and there is nothing that they can do other than give me medications for it to try and stop them, because there is no preventing them because I never know when any of its gong to happen. I can be sitting here just watching youtube and start having seizures for no reason, other times its because I have been stressed out way to much or I get to overly excited, then medications I have been given cause them. The brain is really an amazing thing, but such a huge mystery still all at the same time
Okay, when you said 'I signed up for YOU' I started to cry.
THIS is why you and Adam have felt like you have been together lifetimes. You chose each other every time, no matter how long it was. And you keep choosing each other, through highs and lows.
I am sending you all of the hope that this clinic can bring him relief.
My sisters husband got sick 13 years ago. He got pancreatitis that ravaged his body. He’s fought and fought for 13 years with her right beside him all the way. They were thick as thieves. He went to bed and died a kings death last night. I understand what it looks like to see two soul mates fighting to have more days together. My heart is so broken for loosing my brother in law. And your story is really resonating with me tonite. Peaceful loving energy coming to you tonight Celina. Love you little girl. ♥️
@Benaiah Wolf {Taylor's Version} thank you so much! And what a beautiful name you have!
rest in peace to him... i hope you, your sister and everyone who knew him makes a happy and healthy recovery. it must hurt to loose someone that way. sending love, hugs and prays to your family and you. ❤
I suffer from chronic pancreatitis, just had a Whipple in December. It’s a really tough diagnosis. My heart goes out to your sister and your entire family.
Hey! I feel for you. My wife was diagnosed with a terminal lung disease the year we got married. We had 5 years together full of hospitals, home nurses, meds, hospitalizations. In the summer of 2012 she was forced admitted into hospital and by end of day she couldn’t breath at all. 3 months of surgeries, a failing double lung transplant in Toronto…she never left the hospital and died at age 35. We had been together for 8 years. Fellow cdn, just in Burlington, if you want to reach out. The caregiver needs supported just as much as the one who is dealing with the illness. It’s hard. But hopefully Utah will bring a shift in the tide for you both. Sending love.
I’m so sorry your loss.
There's moth I can say but I'm so sorry.
Please feel hugged very, very tightly
I'm so sorry for your loss - I'm Canadian too, in Toronto, it's so hard when your person (romantic or otherwise) is sick - my deepest condolences
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs 💖.
Sorry to hear of your loss much love ❤️
I’m in Utah. I’m a medical assistant, my husband is Hospice, and my son an EMT. If you need a place to stay or anything. Even going to some haunted unknown locations you’ve got me and my family. We understand to a degree the journey. I’ve been diagnosed with #8 chronic illnesses. Prayers, love, angels, and healing thoughts sent to you and Adam!!
How are you still able to work? I have 7 chronic illnesses and I was put on permanent disability over 10 years ago. I would love to go back to work, I worked in the medical field as well, but I don’t see any way to make that happen.
Same here. Have Cystic fibrosis, diabetes, chronic pain, had double lung and liver transplant. It never ends. Much love to you Jamie and Celina spookyboo
What an incredibly kind and thoughtful offer. You have a heart of gold. I just thought you should know that. ❤️
@@nickysw6060 was just gonna say that but you already did!!!❤️ @celine you should definitely think about this offer i would feel so much comfort knowing my husband has around so much support and alittle help for you!! ❤️❤️
I'm in Utah too! I work in medical as well. My husband had 2 strokes in 2019 and still struggles if you ya'll want to roll together in a spooky support group I am so down! ❤
This broke me, as someone who is living with disabilities and someone who’s husband is also Adam and I speak and live pretty much exactly as you have talked about. I’ve followed you both for years, you’re both amazing people and I hope for you both to find all the help and happiness. I’m trying to get my Adam out of a hard place, no where near what you guys are going though. Thank god he has you, we need a lot more people like you in the world. I think we can all agree we all will be manifesting and praying for you both.
I have PPCS. I have no clue why the dr cant fix me. I also dont know why disability doesnt care about the affects on my life. Diisability denied me becaise it is an invisible illness. Its hard . I am not okay.
@@lindabommer87 I am also not ok. As one not ok person to another, I love you and want you to be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day after that, and every single day you can manage to be not ok.... because one day, we will hurt and be exhausted, but we will be able to say "I feel ok today."
Sooo well said mate👏! Stay strong for your Adam! I’m praying your Adam will be able to come out of that hard place and things look up!💖💖💖💖
@@lindabommer87 I'm not okay either. Lately it's felt like I've never been okay, but luckily, I know that's just my mental illness tunnel vision making me see the glass only half empty.
I'm a recovering heroin addict with 4 years sober and I'm still trying to learn how to cope with the shit I went through in active addiction. I was homeless off and on the whole time I was on drugs. Before I had ever been addicted to heroin or even drank alcohol before, I was dealing with heavy traumas on the daily. I never had a safe place or enough time in between my trauma to actually process anything that had happened.
So, here I am now. Feeling like I should be the happiest I've ever been. But in reality, I'm having nonstop PTSD memories of that time my dad flipped the dinner table upside down on me and my mom, or the time I had sex for money/drugs to support my drug habbit (even though I "consented" back then... it doesn't sit right with me. All the times I did it, in my memory, it feels like I was just barely surviving and blocking shit out.).
Some days the memories don't stop screaming over everything I do, repeatedly. I know I could have things much worse. And I'm so thankful to be alive and sober, but somedays all I can do to escape this hell is sleep. I feel like a prisoner in my own body, and I don't want to feel that way, obviously.
I'm not trying to get pity or praise for my sobriety, I just saw yalls comments and I felt like sharing my struggles, however different they may be. I believe that we all are capable of empathising with each other, nomatter what. Even if we will never truly understand what it's like to go through what someone else has, it's still so fucking important to try.
@@lindabommer87 I’m praying for you too Linda and sending you my best energy. Stay strong and positive and you will recover. You deserve peace and to be free of pain and worry. You are a good person. I’m sorry for what your going through. I hope you feel better someday. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Celina, I was in Adam’s situation. My doctors downplayed my concussion, it never went away, I was constantly gaslighted… It took away almost 2 years of my life… this is post-concussion syndrome. One of the toughest things to fix. Permanent eye damage, sound sensitivity, intense migraines, brain fog, light sensitivity, increased heart rate… you mentioned how physical activity caused him a huge setback. It did for me too. Doctors threw me around, giving me every med under the sun. Nothing helped, I was suicidal, I had a poor quality of life. Please please please look into the Buffalo Protocol. Not one doctor recommended it to me - I had to be the one to do my own research and bring the case study to my TBI specialist. Physical activity was almost impossible for me without feeling sick, faint, like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. It changed my life in three months. My physical therapist brought me in twice a week, tracked my symptoms with associated heart rate, etc. It got rid of my migraines, light/sound sensitivity, tachycardia, etc. I truly healed after 2 years with this. Without it, I still thing I’d be in the same miserable place. I’ll always preach this to anyone whose trying to heal from a TBI. Look into UPMC in Pittsburgh as well… people go there from all over the world for TBI. They’re THAT good.
I can 2nd UMPC Pittsburgh!
I had my mama down there in their neurological department for 13 years.
Now she had a very rare cancer, but it was located very close to the bottom of her skull...and once they radiated her, it started necrosis of her brain.
When she was first diagnosed, local Dr's, gave her 3 MONTHS to live...that was June 2006.
We then went to Prebyterian Hospital, and with their help, she lived 13 more YEARS....and those are 13 Extra years I got to love my mama!
Bumping/amplifying this to help get it noticed.
Bump
This!!
Wow that's great if this facility is that good and dedicated!
From someone whose wife abandoned them in their time of illness and need, it brings me hope to see someone who stays to help and nurture, even when it is difficult and not what you planned for your life
I was abandoned too. When I told him I was ill
I have to tell you. Over the last 7 years I've had cancer twice, my spine reconstructed twice, arteries rupture in my neck and almost die amongst so many other medical problems. The power and influence you are having in your partners life is incalculable. I would have ended my life so long ago if it wasn't for my kind, loving, and understanding wife. When I was in the middle of these horrible circumstances sometimes the only thing that made me feel ok was my wife being compassionate. Sometimes the only thing that brought me joy was hearing her laugh. Even if it doesn't seem like you're making a difference you are.
That beautiful. I hope you are doing well
You are so so so strong! ❤
It can be as simple as a loving gentle hand to bring peace of mind. I have been a carer and a cared for. Both sides have their own struggles but out of love for one another.
This solidifies my reason to continue studying neuro rehabilitation & brain injury. The brain is the most incredible thing we'll ever encounter. Adam is in there, the essence of him will never leave. His brain is doing its best to reconfigure and rewire itself. You are so very strong, I hope one day I can love someone as purely you do him. Sending you love and positive vibes from Toronto 💕
Do you find there might be hope in man-made neurological implants? I know Elon Musk has been making strides in this technology.
acarii22 … Your comment is awesome. I know it means everything to Celina & Adam as well.
Celina … Thank you for sharing this. You and Adam found each other in this lifetime just as you have in other lifetimes. He wouldn’t be able to do this without you and with you he will heal.
After watching this I have formed a group of wonderful people (over 50 of us now) every evening at same time we stop what we’re doing, think of you and Adam and we pray. Collective consciousness is powerful, we’ll never stop sending out prayers, love, blessings and healing energies to you both. You are both surrounded by Love at all times.
@@ceIIardoor I definitely have hope. Neurolink and other biofeedback technologies are only getting better!
Pick me!!
our souls are not in the brain tho
Celina, this is insane bc I have this EXACT condition and I've never heard of anyone else who has had this issue from concussions. I've had around 5-6 concussions and I can't do anything I used to anymore. I can't run, I can't turn my head too quickly, if I hit my arm or leg hard enough it gives me days long migraines. I've had to sit in the dark for weeks at a time.... I have to sleep around 9-10 hours a night so my brain can recover from the days events. However, it's been around 4 years since my last big concussion and I have gotten SO much better. I still can't do a lot of things most other people can do, but I can go on walks now and lift heavier objects and look at screens for extended periods of time. I do still have major PTSD from this and am so so nervous about anything touching my head, but it really has gotten better with time! Sending you guys so much love and good health and the answers you need
Right here with you!
I just started the video, but could a seizure do that? I had cluster seizures and a grand mal one that knocked me knocked out for nearly nine hours. I could barely do anything, because it felt like my brain was pounding. It's nothing like what it was, but I never considered it to have been temporary damage. My MRI can back fine, but something was definitely not fine.
@@shae9364 i’m really not sure! i have never had a seizure but i have a friend who is epileptic and they get migraines and major fatigue after their seizures as well
@@shae9364 im epileptic and I struggle with this daily. Dr's are always so confused about any and everything... sadly. don't give up.
My friend was at a consert, fell and hit his head on the stage, felt fine tho' he had been drinking, he fell asleep and he never woke up.. I have allways tought that's a myth, but it's not and it made me realize how serious concussions actually are. Terrefying😱
"I don't want to talk about it in real life;" THAT statement you made is exactly how I feel since I lost my son. I have retreated to solitude except when forced to go to work. I'm so sorry you're both going through this. Thank goodness he has you. God brought you both together because Adam was going to need you. Your priority is family. I'll say a prayer for you both.
Can’t imagine losing my kid. I hope you heal and find happiness.
I was diagnosed with post concussive syndrome in 2015 following a “minor” concussion. I went to a neurologist who gave me medication for migraines which made me survive the next two years. The thing that gave me life back was going to a chiropractor who found through X-rays my neck was curving the wrong way from the impact. We were able to do rehab to strengthen the muscles in my body. There’s hope ❤️
It definitely sounds like it could have something to do with his cervical spine considering the pain in his arms and bending. Commenting to boost this for Celina!
Yes!! I hope they go to a chiropractor at least for a consultation!
My sister in-law had a major concussion a few years ago. She was so sick for a long time. She went to physical therapy, chiropractors, and eventually an occupational therapist. I think she mentioned something about “crystals” at the base of her neck I think that were out of alignment. Whatever it was, somebody was able to help her, and she got better. That whole experience led her to go to school and become an occupational therapist. I wish I could remember who eventually helped her get better.
@@rosanna415 do you maybe mean crystals in her ear? Because we have crystals in our inner ear responsible for balance and they can loosen and that causes dizziness, headaches and issues with balance
🙏❣️💕
My mom's friend had a terrible concussion that took away almost 80% of her eyesight and had horrible migraines. She went to I'm pretty sure the same clinic you are going to in Utah. She's almost back to 100% normal and now helps others who struggle in that area. I am praying it works for you guys like it did for her.
I hope this happens for him
We are known in Utah for having one of the best neurological doctors. And the best clinics! I actually have a neurosurgeon right across from my house! They are everywhere here and they are devoted
I really hope it works for Adam too.
@@paxtonjackson8074 ok that is so cool and I didn't realize it was that extensive!
Me too!!!! I hope this works !
I was Adam too. Husband was you. I have Lyme disease and couldn’t walk well or talk! I’m better now. Lots of things I did to heal! Prayers for you both! ❤️
Did you do IV antibiotics? I have a friend with very serious lyme who can no longer take care of herself
@@madelinebeitel7150 hi! I have Lyme and have been doing IV antibiotics as well as oral antibiotics for a year now. I also did two IVIG treatments which I think has played a big role in helping me feel better. I went from not being able to walk some days and having serious depression caused by the neuropsychiatric side of Lyme to feeling much better recently. I just started taking walks recreationally again and I don’t feel depressed for the first time in so long.
I had the exact same thing happen, Lyme, and I did 2 years of oral antibiotics as well as IV vitamin drips 3 times a week. Not sure what really worked in the end, but I feel as though the IV vitamins saved my life, or at least really improved my quality of life while I was suffering. Perked up my system enough to keep fighting I feel. Now I recommend anyone who is in a desperate health situation to try them. There was a point where I had no desire to be alive because I had absolutely no quality of life, and now I would say I am back to 90% health, I just have to be more cautious than most with reserving energy and not doing anything that could potentially make me run down, such as drinking/partying and poor diet for more than a meal or 2 here and there. I wasn't sure if I would ever get better, but now being on the other side of it I am so happy I hung in there. It really is so hard when you have no timeframe for when you might feel better, but just knowing other people have been through something similar and come out the other end gave me enough hope to keep going so maybe someone will see this and it will help too?
Thank you both for sharing your stories. I have Lyme that I have thankfully been able to manage (with IV vitamins, diet, hyperbaric chamber sessions, and various holistic doctors) but my best friend has a much more serious case. She has tried many many doctors and too many treatments to list, including oral antibiotics (and she started IV antibiotics but had to stop bc she was declining). She is down to 95 pounds, has a feeding tube, can hardly take care of her hygiene ( just getting energy to shower can take all day) she’s depressed, scared, so so sick, and generally unsupported by her family and her husband. Neurological illness is so incredibly difficult, thank you both for offering some hope ❤️
@@madelinebeitel7150 I did post how but it got deleted. Antibiotics and eating healthy. ACT program online
I cared for my mum for the longest time and I became disabled 8 years ago and I asked my husband if he wanted to leave I’d let him go as I know it’s tiring and frustrating to look after me….what he said changed my way of thinking “you didn’t choose to be a caregiver to your mother, you were expected to just do it….I’m choosing to stay and love you for you and your body not working like it used to doesn’t change why I love you and want to spend my life with you we just have to learn to live in a different way” ❤ big loves to you both x
Never stop fighting for Adam. If you have to, get pushy with the doctors. That's what my husband did for me. Please keep us updated. We love you.
Adam it's ok bud, you'll get through this. I know it's very difficult. We believe in you. You have a wonderful beautiful woman by your side.
I’m not going to lie, seeing you love him so fiercely gives me hope. I’m in his position, I have a very low quality of life, chronic pain that is so bad that I can’t do anything I love anymore….. I have had a lot of bad relationships and a lot have ended because of how unwell i am. I’ve come to a point where I’ve started losing any hope of anyone loving me this way. But seeing you two together makes me feel like it could happen
I’ve been exactly were you are. I put up with some very shitty people. But I found my one. I had my lumbar spine fused 5 weeks ago. That first night he stayed with me in the hospital (fuck the COVID rules, I was purposely in a private room) and he was there to help me the first night when I was writhing and screaming in pain. He was there, holding my hand, reminding me to breathe. He even yelled at the nurse when she completely dismissed me as being “overly dramatic”. There are still good ones out there! You are worthy, you are lovable, and you deserve everything in the world!
It can always happen. I've been with my bf for two years, but this year I've been dealing with severe fatigue and spent almost 2 months mostly bedridden, and he's been by my side through it all. He buys me the food I'm craving, he helps me out of bed and on the stairs, and he even said that if I ever had to use a chamber pot he would clean it. He has promised that he is never leaving me no matter what happens.
I really hope you find someone who loves you for you, no matter the baggage you come with. It's happened for others in our situations, and it can happen again. Rooting for your well-being and future!
@@hanramz WHEN IS IT MY TURN :(((
I’m not sure how old you are Tanner, but don’t give up hope. Although be careful, people will take advantage of you. My daughter has Major TBI and men try taking advantage of her. Best of luck to you in your search of true love ❤
It can definitely happen!!! Don't lose hope - you deserve to be loved wildly and forever ❤❤❤
Celina you are such a brave and strong soul. It’s not easy what your going through right now, especially for you and Adam, but never forget that we are here for you whenever you need us. We will never not be here.
Absolutely agree ❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️
That is correct 😘😀❤️
Praying for you. My advice for you both is GET A PATIENT ADVOCATE. If you are dealing with complex medical issues and it affects your daily life, if you still want answers, or even just another set of eyes on your current situation. These professionals are a great conduit between you and specialist doctors, they can organize all the different medical information from different doctors in different locations to get a clear picture, and also make sure everyone involved is up to speed and date. Being a caregiver is hard. There is hope. ALSO these patient advocates are usually medical professionals themselves so not only will they help you understand your specific situation in a simple manner, they can also hold doctors or hospitals or facilities accountable in real time. So you can worry about the daily instead of trying to figure out what information you can trust.
If you go to USA there is a small organization called BEACON ADVOCATES. They are angels. Based in Florida and New England.
@Celinaspookyboo @foxracer ABSOLUTELY YES! YES! THIS this comment this advice is INVALUABLE. When going through such a weight of emotions it is hard to think positively and to have faith. NEVER EVER just go with one doctor! When it comes to life or death we want to do any and everything we can, find doctors out of state or wherever they may be, and all info pertaining to that said matter to ensure EVERYTHING is done. No stone left unturned!!! I can't stress this enough..I WISH everyone knew about patient advocate services!! @celinaspookyboo I don't press people or push my views- but when you love someone you tell them the truth. Although we don't know one another I care for everyone..and my heart is aching for you and Adam. In the hour of need..know that God is watching you..he is with you..always..regardless of if you believe it or not. It isn't the doctors choice at the end of the day. It is God's. Don't EVER give up, please. ❤❤❤❤❤❤😊 We don't know our true strength until we've endured what we believed was impossible. Many of us are praying for you both and care for you. Social media or not!!!
And life insurance
Best advice EVER…❤ there aren’t enough patient advocates out there…the ones at my local hospital are literally volunteers. One is a pastor, and I’m not remotely religious, but he helped me through a VERY scary time in my life. They make such a difference. ❤
Excellent advice!
I've been here. I understand. This sounds like he's had a traumatic brain injury, not just a concussion. Also, possibly increased cerebral fluid/pressure. Please, don't give up hope. He's able to get better with therapy and neurologists. Thinking of you all always.
Or probably a CSF leak...they can be totally debilitating!!
As someone that's in a similar situation but in the opposite position, I can tell you that Adam 1000% appreciates everything you do for him. I became sick in 2016 (also one year after my husband and I got married) and there are many times we feel like we're a burden on those we love simply because of the accommodations we come with. I sincerely hope that you and Adam find answers in Utah and that he gets even that 10% of healing that you guys wish for because you deserve it. I know it's incredibly hard, but keep your head up. Hopefully things will turn around soon.
Sending you both prayers for healing and an end to this pain and depression. I live with both, so I do. It can be so disheartening. Praying...Much love....
Celina, I really hope my comment reaches you. I've been living with Intracranial Hypertension since May of 2016, and although you didn't go into specifics a lot of the things you mentioned I also experienced when my illness was at its worst/when I was diagnosed. I had two major concussions growing up which were contributing factors. I'm still not the person I was before getting sick, but I'm getting there.
Much love and appreciation for you and Adam both, and I thank you for not only sharing such a difficult story but for being with Adam through all of this ♡
I also have experienced Intracranial Hypertension. I’ve also heard it called Pseudotumor cerebri because it mimics all the symptoms of a brain tumor. It seems pretty rare and is difficult to diagnose because for the most part all tests come back normal. It’s really nice knowing that there are other people out there who have experienced similar things.
A lot of the symptoms you describe Adam having are similar to what I’ve experienced. I was very lucky that my condition wasn’t very severe and improved on its own, but it was so debilitating. I’ve never been in so much pain and struggled to do basic tasks like walk or watch tv. This condition affects the optic nerve and vision so I’d get so nauseous from postural changes or lights, even just watching a moving image on my phone.
Here’s hoping this comment gets to her. Sometimes doctors need help to get an accurate diagnosis. Doctors don’t know/remember every illness in existence and some are super rare, new or just very hard to diagnose. Hearing from other patients could be a significant leap in necessary treatment.
I was thinking the same thing through a lot of this video. I was diagnosed in July of 2020 with this, and, like you, so many of the symptoms she mentioned for Adam are similar to what I was going through. I was miserable, in so much pain, with no idea what I was wrong, until I finally was able to go in for an MRI and evaluated for pappiloedema. I had had 4 concussions when I was younger, which has been credited as a factor. Everything from food to moving would set off nausea and migraines, bending over was the most painful thing to my head.
I was lucky during my diagnostic period too -- my neurologist said she wouldn't have thought of IH/ Pseudotumor Cerebri the year before, but her coworker had just written a paper on misdiagnosing the condition as chronic migraines or dismissmal of symptoms, especially because the slight majority of those affected are females. He ended up being my nuerologist after I was diagnosed, and I'm eternally grateful - he had the second highest number of IH patients in my state (only 7 people!).
I was on bed rest for the better part of 18 months because I couldn't function, between the condition and the meds for it. I had two different spinal taps with obscenely high opening pressure and drainage. I lost 8% of my vision, including a large secondary blind spot in my left eye. I ended up having to have brain surgery a few months ago and had to have a shunt put in to mitigate the symptoms. Its been a long recovery, but I am doing so much better than I was this time last year.Like another comment said, its actually really nice to hear about others having the same thing, makes me feel less alone.
I hope Adam is able to get the right care, and hope maybe seeing these comments can open up the conversation with his doctors about lesser known conditions like IH.
I agree! I have chiari malformation which causes a blockage and then high intercranial pressure. Also could be a csf leak.
Celina if you see this I’d be happy to discuss brain stuff I’ve been dealing with brain issues and injuries and surgeries for 10 years
You need to watch Momming with Migraine. I came across her on here and she has this tumor you are speaking of. She’s still on this new journey of finally getting answers. ❤️
i hope that Adam has or had a big, healthy recovery. this is a year later. don't stop fighting. he will get better. you will get to do a million things you never got to do together. YOU AND ADAM ARE SO STRONG!! ❤
You precious soul❤ you are both amazing. What a Journey you are on together.
Have you considered getting a past life regression reading for Adam? I’ve been studying it a bit and there are some cases that people have been healed from going back and knowing why they are going through what they are in this lifetime. I pray for a complete healing in Adam! And strength for you sweet girl💕
As someone who has had chronic illness for 5 years, its really hard to accept that you cannot do the things that you loved before. What is important is finding things that you love now. There is a book called "You Dont Look Sick" and it helped me a lot with accepting my loss. Much love and hugs to you guys, Celina.
It's definitely not the same as a chronic illness. I know the But you don't look sick one but TBI is something very different. I am glad it helps you. I have had chronic illness 40 years so I understand you. My marriage broke down because of my husband's TBI. There is nothing you can do to change their mind if they want out. They are a different person but they do not realise to what extent.
As someone with chronic illness and pain I'm gonna check out that book, thank you. The amount of times I've heard that statement is insane. Or my second favorite the "you're too young to have health problems" as if only old people can. Its fucked up.
i’m definitely gonna check that out! i got into a really bad car crash two weeks before 2020 ended and it killed me when my doctor said i’ll never fully recover & that i’ll struggle with consequences for the rest of my life. it still does
Oh my gosh - as soon as you said he hit his head I knew. My husband had post concussion syndrome after bumping above his temple on a towel rod, turning in the shower with his eyes closed. That day, everything was fine. The next day I come home with the kids and he’s down on the floor, been there for hours bc he got dizzy getting ready to go to work. Over two years of the everything quiet, everything dark, he couldn’t drive, his personality changed, I’d come home scared every time with that same “what if it became too much to live like this” fears trying to find him.
I know every case is different and I know when he was in the middle we’d hear people tell success stories coming out of PCS with timelines shorter than ours and it felt like that was our doom, like it’s been too long and it will never heal. But I just want to say I have hope for you - the brain is tricky but it has an amazing capacity for healing, even if it seems slow or impossible. I will pray that the Utah specialists can help or that some way some how he finds some daily relief and rest from the symptoms. As a wife who has walked this road with her husband, all my love to you. ❤️❤️❤️
What's he like today if you dont mind me asking
@@willow_jayde much much better. He has a 4-6 hour migraine every 6 weeks or so. He’s careful of his head. We haven’t really tried having him run for exercise but he enjoys long walks and using the rowing machine. He was in grad school when he was injured and he did finally manage to graduate tho it took him 2 extra years. I’d say there’s some remaining personality change but idk how much is the physical change from the injury and how much is just dealing w/ the trauma of having your life upended like that. Oh, and he also was rediagnosed with ADHD - he had been as a child but his parents ignored it (yay the 90s) and he functioned well without meds till the injury. Now it’s more severe/difficult but he has learned a lot of ways to support himself.
Look into HBOT treatment. Its expensive but it might be the only thing to heal the brain.
I'm disabled and my husband spent all of his adult life taking care of his elderly parents and now he has to take care of me and the guilt kills me... seeing him happy and thriving in other areas of life means so much to me because I know if anything happens to me he has support now. He has friends and a job he loves and our 2 wonderful dogs... I know how Adam feels, and trust me when I say, him seeing you so successful gives him hope and happiness every single day.
Hey girl! So sorry to hear about this 😔 I’m not sure how Adam’s doing with his recovery but my mum fell a couple of years ago and ended up with a pretty bad concussion. She had similar things (going to all the doctors and getting different answers and not being her old self anymore, it was horrible!). She has found her saviour in the form of an Osteopath! He found a dent in her skull that was from the concussion and he believed was causing the symptoms. She’s been with him for a year now and honestly she’s nearly back to her old self and it’s been amazing!
So, if you guys can find and afford it, I would suggest look for a good Osteopath near you and try that!☺️ I hope you find this message! Best of luck and much love to you both 💕
As a caregiver and someone with chronic illnesses as well, she sounds overwhelmed. I feel so bad seeing her hit this point where medicine doesn’t seem to have answers but you have to keep trying. The brain has so much healing potential and I deeply hope Celina and Adam find some treatments, some answers, and better quality of life 💜💜💜
“I would give up the rest of my life for one good year with you” you both have so much love for each other and that’s the most important part of this. the fact that you two even have each other is so beautiful and I truly wish you both the best
This 😭💖
Celina. I just want you to know, you and Adam, have helped me get through the hardest 3 years of my life these past three years. I've fought cancer. Lost a kidney. Went into kidney failure. Had my 5th spinal surgery. Damaging my spine beyond help. And YOU and Adam keep me laughing and make me know that love is there. You're amazing. Never stop. You have an army behind you and Adam. Many blessings.
They are amazing at content-unparalleled really! I’m sorry your body is going against you making you prove how you are a Super-hero-sweetie what a hard row !! I think you deserve a cape!! Mom love coming at you!
Doing an endless standing ovation 💜
Now look at Adam he is so much better and so happy , he finally got the help he needed in the States. And I know you are an amazing strong woman and loyal and ride or die for the ones you love and Adam . This video is so heartbreaking and personal and the pain in your voice and eyes. I'd love to meet you and Adam in person bc your energy is amazing
Is he better? I just discovered celina and this is like the second video of hers ive watched and its so sad. I hope he is doing better ❤
Edit: oh i see there is an update video, going to watch it now
@@hagridcatsame here. I hope he's getting better
Unfortunately, there are weirdos here on the internet that have made it impossible for the good people to meet up with them.
I know we feel like we know them well cause Celina shares a lot of her life with us all. But at the end of the day we are all just internet friends.
I mean no malice at all. I know your heart and intentions are coming from a good place.
I am so sorry Adam and yourself are going through this. I am a “medical nerd” because of my kids chronic illnesses, this also makes me really funny too because we have no bloody choice. You may not see this comment or someone might have already suggested it but concussion can set off certain conditions.
So we have a condition called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) (don’t google pots because you get cooking vessels or green bush lol) it is a form of autonomic dysfunction it can be set off by a concussion, virus or just stupid autoimmune stuff. It has so many symptoms it’s ridiculous and causes massive issues. There is also other conditions that quiet often linked wit POTS. One being Ehler Danlos or Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder these conditions impact your connective tissue and lastly Mast Cell Activation Disorder which causes inappropriate histamine responses to things like food, temperature changes, stress, smells etc. I suppose as I listened to you I was thinking about my own kids health and wondering if it’s actually a number of things happening all at once, post concussion which has set off other conditions or set of inflammation which has caused an autonomic dysfunction. The touch thing is called Allodynia.
All of what I have said may be stuff you have already heard but I wanted to share just incase.
You manage to make me laugh every time I see your tiktoks. I love bad jokes and puns and it’s all about fighting the dark with the light and laughter however challenging it is. No one should have to go through this stuff but Adam sounds like he is incredibly lucky to have you in his life and I am sure he feels the same way. Love to you both and breath and be kind to yourself too.
I have hEDS, MCAS, and POTS as well. I agree. I feel what Celina and Adam are going through. Before I was diagnosed, I could barely function. Now I am back to a good quality of life.
Zoe Gow, I think you may be onto something. There's another RUclipsr "Stephi Lee" ,who recently posted about what her best friend's been dealing with and it sounds spot on to what she's dealing with.
Oh yeah, I heard about this through the New York Times Coloumn about undiagnosed patiens. Oh and it turned out to be very helpflull to use swarm intelligenze through the internet to get a diagnose and help
So do me and my kids
I may have POTS and it's been hell trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Thank you for sharing and bringing awareness.
I work with the neurologists here in Utah who run the concussion center you’ve been invited to. Your concerns about traveling are valid, and I hope you can communicate that with a neurologist before coming-let me know if I can help get you in contact. And I’d just like to say that these neurologists work every day to find treatments for TBI. They’re wonderful people and even better medical professionals. I’ve personally met people and have interviewed others who suffered from TBI and who now have returned to their regular life after different treatments. Keep your hope alive. 🤍
We have to make sure she reads this
Have to keep commenting on this and liking this one si celina reads it
Boost
Boosting so she can see.
💜
Celina I arrived here a few months ago for the sleepwalking. I fell in love with you and Adam when you shared your pregnancy journey. You're an incredible storyteller, and one of the most wonderful human beings that I've had the joy of coming across. My sincerest gratitude for sharing your pain, your love, your family. My sincerest wishes that utah brings back the life that Adam deserves to live.
I became disabled when I was 39. My husband left me for another woman 4 years later. Times were tough. I have finally gotten the right meds and now at 53 I am grabbing my life back. I have a caregiver 37 hours a week. I can't even take a shower without her. Let him know that there are more people out here that know where he is at. It will get better. It will be difficult and different. I have a scooter now. But I don't yet have a car with a ramp for it. One step at a time. I take 100 mg morphine 2x a day along with other pain meds. I was so suicidal at the beginning but I have 3 kids to live for and I am glad that I didn't die 10 years ago. Keep pushing for that diagnosis or medication. Find the new joy and purpose in life.
My husband left me 5 yrs after my cancer diagnosis. "I didn't sign up for a wife with cancer."
I still have cancer, but it's better than that husband.
My ex of nine years also broke up with me due to my autoimmune disorder. I’m much better without him… but it’s still devastating
So thankful you're alive!!!! Wow..God bless you in Jesus name 🙏🙏🙏
@@barbaraeichler7469 Thank you. Jesus is the reason for my purpose in life. I am working on getting back to church EVERY Sunday like I did my whole life until I was disabled. I found a good church. I would like to find a good Christian Man to spend my life with also. It is a good thing that I am looking forward for myself. I would love to teach the Word to people. I am a great public speaker and I am very educated about the Bible and History. My parents were missionaries and my dad was an international teacher at churches and on Christian TV. I attended Christian schools and college besides being a missionary in my late teens. However, I have always found it difficult for Women to have the opportunity to teach in church. (Unless your the pastor's wife). I am thinking about starting a RUclips blog about my journey through disability loss of marriage after 23 years and raising my kids through their teen years as a single parent. The things I have learned and the things that I am still learning while finding my way back to the deep relationship I had with God before I went down the rabbit hole.
God Bless you stay strong!! I've been with my guy 27+ years, kid's are grown & I've had 7 major surgeries & after getting him near retirement he don't want to be with me anymore!! I deal with alot of pain everyday & I just started my job 6 years ago after lifting him up to get thru & trying to get another 15 years in for a pension for myself!! It's terrible when your other half say we are in this until the end & it turned into a lie hurts me!! I wish I could find a place to help me Wyeth my pain medication!! It's daunting because right now I'm trying to learn how to walk again & my job is in good until feb 2nd praying to get better!! I pray you get better & definitely surround yourself with people that love you!!
Fuck this made me tear up so bad. I'm new to your channel and seeing this made have so much respect for you. You are so strong and the fact that you feel so strongly just shows how much you care. I really hope he is better now and for you guys to have many more GOOD years together
I'm legit crying. The pure devotion and actual love and care, is insanely wholesome and the world definitely needs more of both of you. Honestly, I wouldn't mind little videos about you just telling us various stories and experiences. The memories you have are precious.
My moms now fiancé, fell off a 14 foot ladder and smashed his head. Has a TBI obviously. Entire personality change and mood stuff. It was peak pandemic and we couldn’t go visit. They also have a two year old- one at the time- but he’s better now. On a shitload of medications like mood stabilizers. I hope he gets better and everything works out for you guys. Your privacy is valid and you don’t need to share anything you don’t want. I’m wishing the best for you guys ❤️❤️❤️
“I would give up the rest of my life for one good year with you…where we could just be normal” I feel this so deeply as the spouse of a chronically ill person. There’s only so much I can do to negate what their illness has taken from them and us. We just need our people to get the help they deserve. It’s hard not to feel helpless sometimes, and honestly I think that’s okay to need a battery recharge, and then that glimmer of hope shows up. A doctor that listens, a new treatment to access, a supportive community, any spark for the fight to get better. My spouse and I recently found a spark, and I so deeply hope this program in Utah is that spark for you and Adam.
I know your pain, fear and sorrow. My husband sustained a severe traumatic brain injury in 2011. He was in a coma for 4 months then woke up a quadriplegic who couldn't talk or eat and had complete amnesia. I cared for him for 8 years, until the day he passed as a result of his injury. We never did find out how he was injured.
My prayers for you and Adam. ♥️🙏
Hey Celina, I was in a really bad car wreck when I was 16 (I'm currently 24), and was t-boned by another driver going 65 in a 25 which left me with a severe traumatic brain injury that I still live with till this day. I had really severe migraines that would come and go with any sound or light, and my communication suffered to a really extreme degree (my communication is still a little goofy at times but I can at least talk now). I moved to Utah in October of 2020 to go to a clinic that specializes in neurological rehabilitation, I'm not sure if its the same one you were talking about, but I really cannot recommend it more. I'm not sure if this information will help you in anyway but having gone through a similar experience I wish I had done it so much sooner. I'll be hoping for Adam to feel better and find what works for him
I second what you said about the clinic in Utah and I’m so glad they were able to help you! My friend went there as well, two years after her concussion her family was still eating on paper plates using plastic cutlery because the sound of regular cutlery and plates was too loud and triggered headaches. She couldn’t work, she struggled with basic tasks, sometimes even talking. A year after going to the Utah clinic she’s back to work, back to socializing, back to playing piano. I’m so glad they were able to help you and help my friend. I hope they can help Adam too.
What is the name of the clinic
@@maggieroberts4861 Sorry! Just realized that I visited several but Pibcoa was the main one that I went to
That sucks so bad 😪 I’m sorry. Plz tell me that wreckless driver got a heavy sentence
I'm a lurker rather than a commenter but your, "...we'd take 10." had me sobbing. The way you describe your love for eachother, that synergy of being more together than you could be apart, I have that with my partner. I actually hate to talk about it because I always feel like I'm bragging. Even trying to imagine the pain and struggle you both are feeling guts me, which hurts even more because I know I am only imagining the pain that you are 100 fold living. I've never hoped so much for strangers in my life, and I don't know if love, words, hope, or manifest prayers make a difference but you two have all of mine. 😔
Same. I met the love of my life 15 years ago, and we're getting married in the Fall. I didn't know a piece of me was missing until I met him.
If you haven't, get his growth hormone levels checked! I guess it's still relatively new to medical world. But a friend of mine spent 2 years bouncing between doctors trying to figure out why she wasn't getting better from a supposedly mild concussion only to find out her pituitary gland had been injured when she hit her head and her hormone levels were basically non-existent. She has to take hormone shots every day but it's been helping.
This!
Post Traumatic Hypopituitism!
Yes!! It will also prevent future diseases regarding the GH
This is such a great suggestion. Wow!
I don't think she needs advice
Hope she sees this so she can maybe bring it up to the neurologist!
My daughter had to leave work due to concussion, just simply picking up a bag from beneath a table she hit her forehead. If she gets stressed or tired she gets what we call "episodes" , she acts drunk. We have been told it could last for years... obviously this has caused her depression to escalate. It is an everyday battle and the doctors can't do anything. I had to pressure the doctors to give her a scan, just in case it wasn't a concussion... but nothing showed up. Like you said....my daughter just wants to be normal again. Big hugs to you both and thank you for sharing this 💕💕💕
I am in Adam's position. I have a condition called PNES and it's caused me so many physical concerns. I fear my husband will leave because I know thay he didn't sign up to be a caretaker. You are helping me see that his love for me outweighs this disorder. Thank you for showing me the other side!
I'm so sorry, I hope you and your husband can work through this.
Is that a weird of way of saying you're a man..?
@@johnnycaralta PNES is a very real condition. Psychogenic Nonepileptic Seizures
@@jessstafford8935 I believe you. The joke writes itself though, I couldn't pass the opportunity up.
@@johnnycaralta I know I get the joke just wanted to let you know what it really is.
😔 I’m praying for you two. I’m so sorry to see your pain. I know for a fact, the funniest people hurt harder than anyone else.
Sorry you are going through so much… I pray for healing!
@@marysmith9954 8iiCarboniferous periodCarboniferous periodCarboniferous periodCarboniferous periodCarboniferous periodCarboniferous period
@@mollyjackson4476 what are you trying to say??????
Hi Celina, neurodegenerative conditions, especially when you dont have a diagnosis or are dubious as to its accuracy, is extremely hard. Just know that it's ok to mourn the person he was and still love him as he is now. I hope that you both are able to find a good treatment and his quality of life improves. I found that moving closer to treatment centers and specialists made getting specialized care and treatment feasible. My quality of life has improved ten-fold with this heightened access. Three years ago I couldn't drive, couldn't work, couldn't study, could hardly stand longer than 2 minutes and struggled to get up ten stairs. Now I do all of those things, daily. Not to mention, having solid medical documentation of what is going on EXACTLY when he is experiencing symptoms is a jumping-off point for how to treat his symptoms and his disease.
P.S. Antidepressant helped a lot in my case as well! To be completely frank, three years ago when I couldn't do anything I wanted to leave this earth. I almost did several times. Antidepressants have given me the ability to dream about life again, even if I am in pain or have limited mobility.
You’re amazing
Thank you for this post 💜💜💜💜 I hope you are happier and I’m so grateful you’re okay/better. You’re amazing
i second this!! however you feel is completely valid, and that doesnt make your love for someone less important 💗
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You are blessed to be getting better. It is a terrible illness especially without a diagnosis
@@NeoWoot You’re so powerful and brave. I’m going through a very similar experience to you, and I’m getting better too. I wouldn’t say I’ve progressed as much as you have, but I know I soon will because lately I’ve been feeling exactly how you put it; I can dream about life again. Thank you for this comment, it really hit home for me.
I suffer from Meniers Disease as well. Lost hearing in one ear and the vertigo sucksss ass. Non stop tinnitus. I am so glad that you have someone there for you that is understanding and caring. I unfortunately did not, but after being separated now I am much happier. Not about me, you are simply amazing and I love watching your videos. I currently am sitting at work laughing (wheezing) my ass off. So thank you!!
As a girl who went from healthy and happy to terminally ill in a matter of days, I relate to this so much. Changes your whole "life" if it's even living at all.
Hi Celina
I just have to say (as a person who has suffered from a traumatic brain injury) that I understand your pain. My journey to recovery was not easy but after many years I consider myself as healed as I will ever be, which is pretty darn good. I can function like a regular human being and I don’t generally suffer from many severe side effects anymore. Even the migraines (which I used to get at least a couple times a week) have decreased significantly. It was awful for me and everyone involved, and I felt like a burden to my family. We all had to heal together from that, and I blamed myself even though it was no one’s fault. I was blessed to live near John’s Hopkins Hospital, who took my case when no one else wanted to tackle it. As you can understand, stories like this make me very sad, and I can only pray that Adam makes an adequate recovery eventually. Thank you for sharing your story and just know that you two provide me (and of course many others) with so much laughter and joy.
I totally understand you cause I just suffered from a brain injury 6months ago and have to heal and it is so tough cause I was in a wreak losing a partner its tough for everyone so reading this gives me hope on healing
The reason I shared is that I hoped someone would find it useful so thank you for your response. I wish you a full recovery. IT CAN BE DONE. Do not lose hope. That is half the battle.
This lady has actually cheered me up with some of her stories especially the sleepwalking. When I've felt down she's always brought a smile to my face. I feel so bad knowing none of us van do much accept be here if she ever needs anything. I felt myself sobbing to this. So crazy seeing the bubbly outgoing,freely speaking Celina to this sadness...this shows how real some of these people are the ones who respect enough to let people know how they are really feeling. We send over our love and support from London ,take everyday as it comes and try not to stress over the little things,change is hard and sometimes a long process but the strength you have will be your coping mechanism 😥🙌💫❤
Man i hope Adam got better and progressed after this. Praying for you guys
What you’re experiencing is called ambiguous loss. You are grieving for the person and life you used to have. Looking at the situation in this way and working through your stages of grief could help you guys 💙 praying for you both
Thank you for this comment. I needed this term.
So sorry to hear what your husband is going through. I'm an optometrist who is residency trained in neuro-optometry and vision therapy. We help patients all the time who have had post concussive syndrome. I really think you should look into seeing a neuro optometrist in your area and I am happy to help you find someone (as it can be tricky)! The right lenses (usually with prism) and vision therapy can honestly be life changing for some people. Sounds like the place your husband will be going to in Utah will also be wonderful. Often times at these concussion rehab facilities they will have occupational therapists and physical therapists who dabble a little bit in vision therapy, but they don't truly know how to handle the brain-eye connection like a neuro optometrist does. If he finishes his program there and it still seems like there is still something amiss; vision therapy/a neuro optometrist evaluation may be what he needs. Feel free to reach out anytime if you have questions! (edit: just looked up that you live in London Ontario and London Vision Development Centre is the place you need to go! Best of luck!)
Hope you can help Adam Elizabeth
I had a minor head bump back in 2014, I instantly had dizziness and panic attacks, in 2020 I had double nastagmus surgery to help "correct" my "issue" after many years of debilitating mental health issues. 2 years later and I have been able to tell a big difference the past year. My neuro-optometrist in Knoxville, TN also believed it was a disconnect between my brain and my eyes. Nothing ever showed up on all of the tests I had done with many different medical specialists. Or any medication I had tried. I truly believe when you reach the deepest darkest pit of your life, you tent to accept your fate, and look at it like it can only come up from here! I still struggle daily from somewhat of a ptsd from everything I have been thru since this started. One day at a time is all I try to accomplish and enjoy to the best that I am able to!
I’m just so sorry you and Adam are going through this painful experience… I’m just sending love and wishing you both strength and healing for Adam.
yes i am sorry you had to experience this, sending good vibes
I understand what you are going through. I lost my husband 4 years ago. I watched my husband diteriate. I know how hard it is. It started with an infection. We live on emergency services, spent years in the hospital. And everytime he got quiet, I had to make sure he was still breathing. Big hugs
This is the first video I've seen of yours. It randomly showed up on my homepage and I honestly thought it was going to be completely different. Instead you stole my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for being so open and honest. These are the stories that truly matter. Love over all.💜 I decided to watch some more of your videos and you are INCREDIBLE!! I have subscribed and officially a die hard fan!💜💜💜
Same!
Me too! I watch the video where she shows Adam the poop eyeshadow that she made, and I cracked up! So this is my second video, and wow. My heart just breaks. We all have our struggles. They all look different, but we all have them. I’m glad we’re both here!
Same 🖤
Literally the same, had never seen you before this video popped up in my feed and wow, just wow!! Love conquers All!!!! 💜💜💜
I fell in love with Celina over a year ago after seeing one of funny REAL personal sleepwalking vids but then she is WAYYYY MORE than that and I love her so much. She’s quirky, smart, real, funny, heartfelt plus more and shares it! She’s wonderful. Please check her out and you’ll see yourself in a bit of her and love her too. I promise!
He sounds like a living angel. In so much pain everyday but he’s still just the sweetest human being. I have hope. I’m sending lots of healing energy your way.
I was Adam as well. For 4 years and my husband was you. He had also lost his brother and mother before and while being with me. I felt like I wanted to die. I looked into euthanasia and had a date set and I finally got a team of drs who found a treatment plan that gave me my life back. I have had to work really hard to get back to my "normal" self. I still struggle and these diseases I have are chronic but you're doing an amazing job and I can relate to your brother and my husband to you. Don't stop going to drs, don't stop getting second opinions, don't stop demanding the best treatment. Everything is temporary and I don't want me saying that to diminish any of the emotions you're feeling. Keep talking about it, keep sharing, but don't give up.
God I’m so fucking happy you made it. I can completely get euthanasia when quality of life is so low but I’m so glad that there was another way. You only experience this life one time… And I’m so glad that you got to enjoy it again
Praying for you and Adam girl. I get what you are going through to an extent. While its not my husband, my next best man in my life, my grandpa was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease 6 years ago and he is at a transition where he is losing many of his abilities and it is devastating him and all of us. My heart just breaks for you and Adam.
I honestly can’t even imagine what you’re both going through. Celina , you radiate compassion and selfless love. Thank you for being so vulnerable. Praying for success with Adam’s treatment in Utah.
"...and I just start running all around the house to find him." This hit hard. I am not dealing with the same thing you are, at all. But I totally understand THIS feeling. My husband has not always been in good mental health and he's a chronic pain sufferer because of various medical issues.... He once told me early in our marriage that he had put a gun in his mouth in a place where I wouldn't have been able stop him....months after the fact. Thank the Lord he didn't do it, but I find my self being a little more paranoid than I'd like to admit. He's now way better mentally and we've really strong faith now, in my head I completely trust him to no longer want to leave us...but sometimes when times are hard, I still REALLY WATCH him and I don't think that trauma will ever go away....And even if it isn't self inflicted, his medical issues alone keep me on edge sometimes for his well-being, Praying for the both of you.
My husband is a chronic pain patient and his mind is strong. But he says he can understand why chronic pain patients choose to end it. He doesn't think it's the right choice, but he can understand why they feel it is at that moment. He promises me he will never choose that option and I believe his faith is stronger. I pray for all in these circumstances and pray they find faith, or embraced it
I’ve never had the suicidal thoughts but I do understand why and how one can feel this way. I’ve tried to get my husband to just leave me or let me just leave and suffer alone in silence. I think the guilt we feel is just so overwhelming & we don’t know how to properly process “THE NEW ME”, each and everyday we just hope to wake up being “THE OLD ME” again. Thank you all for sharing your heartfelt journeys. Life is not easy but throwing the pandemic in the mix just amped each and everyone of us up & to already be fighting each and everyday as a healthy & financially sound person, they too are struggling .
I am so sorry youre going through this, I couldve wrote every word you just did word for word. My husband's mental health issues are connected to his military service and the things he was forced to do in Iraq. He has tried a few times but then told me he is a coward because he couldnt go through with it, but my service dog is who alerted me every time he was trying. I finally sold the gun because I said I didnt need it for protection if it was going to be the end of my life and my husband. For a long time he wasnt even allowed to have his hunting rifles and I wouldnt allow him to even go hunting even though I know that is his happy place. I finally found a psych that is in private practice and got him away from the VA for his mental health and I can say this doctor has got him back closest to the man he was before, that I think he ever will be. The VA doctors had changed his psych meds 54 times in 2 years, so he couldnt ever get used to anything to see if it would help him. For a long time I wouldnt let him out of my sight, I wouldnt even go take a shower and leave him alone because I knew the first time he tried, I was doing just that taking a quick shower and my service dog left the bathroom from where she never moved, if I was in the shower, but I could hear her in the other room barking her head off like something was wrong and like she was trying to alert that I was having a seizure, but I knew I wasnt and that I felt fine. So I hurried and jumped out the shower with shampoo still in my hair and soap all down my back and ran naked to the bedroom where she was and my husband was sitting there with my gun in his lap loaded and I asked him how the hell did he get the trigger lock off and he simply held up my chain that had one of his dog tags on it, my little brother's dog tag(who committed suicide in Feb 2013) a casing from the 12 the gun salute that was done for my brother at his funeral, and the keys to my gun case and trigger lock, I kept those keys on me at all times because I had small kids at the time, but they were at school so I thought it was safe to take them off and lay them on the counter while I was in shower, thing is the counter was outside the actual bathroom where the shower and toilet were, so he was able to sneak and grab them while I had the water running and music playing on my phone. I think that was the scariest day of my life and trust me I broke my back in 2009 and was told I would be paralyzed for the rest of my life and most people would think that would be classified as the scariest day, but no, the day I realized that if I didnt become the advocate for my husband and his mental health, I was going to be a widow in my early 30's. I finally was able to talk him into retiring from the military in 2014 when he hit his 20 years enlisted, had he had his way he wouldve stayed enlisted til the day they kicked him out because he was just too old to do anything. Alot of what made him worse was the fact that his mom who was his world died 6 months to the day that he came home from Iraq the second time and that was May 2011, and I can say I have never gotten over it and I'm crying my eyes out as I am typing this because thinking about all of it breaks my heart because my husband is a broken shell of himself because he gave 20 years of his life to this damn country but they dont care enough to give our veterans the care and support they truly need because they know they are disposable because there are more turning 18 everyday and enlisting in the military so the ones that come home broken, they just replace them with younger versions that dont honestly know what they are getting into.
My best friend, he was in a seriously abusive relationship that caused so much PTSD. He also has work experience that caused more PTSD, he also is in so much fucking pain physically. He has a bad back and knees. He's also since picked up drinking. So I have these nightmares that one day I'll text him and he won't respond and I'll never find out why.
I’ve been here and I can’t explain how difficult it is. We were on a walk once and I turned around and he’d gone. There was a very tall, multi-storey car park/parking garage close by and I feared the worst. I ran around town for hours, trying to contact him before realising he’d found his way home. I’ve never felt fear like that. There’s times where he’d emptied meds down the toilet in front of me. Times he’d do dangerous stuff. He was crying, desperate for help. He’s doing much much better now, and I’m focusing on my own mental health too, but I’ll never forget those dark days. It really truly changes you. ❤️
I wish you both all the success! 50% sounds like a huge blessing!! Wishing you both well! Hearing you speak of Adam the way you do, is special- very special. He will come back 🙏🏻♥️
I know this video is a year old, but I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing. I wanted to tell you something that helps me. (For context I am a 4 time left leg amputee, I've had 43 surgeries, and I suffer from a condition call Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.) Anyway one day it occurred to me that our best looks different every day and that's okay! It helped ease some of the pressure that I put on myself to do and be a version of myself that I am not currently capable of. Sending you love and healing vibes! ❤️❤️❤️ (Also, I'm from Utah. We rock here! )
I love that, "our best looks different every day", ❤
What an amazingly small world made even smaller by this beautifully touching video! Celina’s love and compassion has created an entire community - many of whom are in similar if not identical situations! I’m not an amputee but I’ve had multiple surgeries and have had EDS all my life. I rarely get a chance to leave the house and some would say I don’t have good quality of life. Others think I’m a hypochondriac or am making up this invisible illness. I would rather have good health than all the money in the world. It truly is priceless and taken for granted. Even though life appears dark, community is found here and we feel less alone. This video is a source of inspiration for those of us who need strength and inspiration in our darkest days. It is ok to not be the old version of your self that you can no longer be! Sending healing love and light to you and everyone in this community who needs it. Life is an arduous battle but we are amazingly strong and will fight for better days to come, whatever that may look like!
This
As a fellow person with chronic illness & just a huge fan I want to say that I personally can’t WAIT to shake Adam’s hand some day. Sending healing thoughts and so much love. Speaking healing in Utah into existence for you both. Please remember to care for yourself too Celina. You BOTH deserve rest and healing. ❤️
Sending you love. Remember, you CAN tell fans you don't want to talk about things. Just because you're open and talk freely with us doesn't mean you need to talk about it all the time. It's okay to say "I rather not talk about it". It's okay to have boundaries
Amen and well said.
You're a wonderful storyteller, but more importantly, a wonderful soul. I'd share my story just to help you feel 'not' alone, but this isn't the place or time. Just know that whenever a "good" person suffers like Adam, we are well aware it can be harder on the ones that love ya the most. I hope all people that go through that struggle have someone like you (or my wife) in their corner
I can relate to your comment... Thts how we are together!! It's an amazing feeling nd connection 🤞🏼💚
It's always comforting realizing others feel the same struggle.. and sad at the same time.
Bless you!!!!! I lost my husband on 5-11-2023....I miss him. So so so soooooool much! When you describe your relationship it's like your describing us. Our relationship. Thank you for your testimony...., God blessed you..... Love the both of you for bringing joy into my world even for a little bit.❤❤❤❤😊
I'm also disabled and I'm never happy the pain is so intense but the only thing that puts a smile on my face is you and Adam! I pray that Adam will get well you both are my medicine!! Thank you both for what you do. Get well Adam and what a great wife!!
So I’m also disabled. I have spinal bifida along with tethered cord, and a history of osteomyelitis and chronic wounds. Last year I learned about Kratom. And it has been such a relief for my pain. Just something to maybe research. I sleep again. Which to someone who doesn’t deal with chronic pain is like what? But I get to sleep because of this plant and I’m not one of those people who believes in homeopathic medicine but this just works.
I hope you're okay xx
my boyfriend passed away 5 months ago to a brain injury from a car accident. we were together 5 years and i genuinely have always felt a connection to you and adam because of how similar our relationships are. i am so sorry. there are no words.
There are no words. But I’m here, for you. And Celina.
I'm so sorry for your loss, hope you are doing better.
🥺🫶🙏 Sending you all of the love, light, and healing🕯️
This is one of the hardest videos I have ever watched, I can not imagine how hard it was for you to film.
You may not feel he has quality of life, but he had quality of love in you. You can hear how much you love him.
Just because you put your life online doesn't mean that people are entitled to know everything about you.
You are so strong xx
Thank you for explaining yours and Adam's struggles. I definitely relate to Adam and you. I got shingles in 2015 and it has never left. It's caused nerve degeneration and post herpetic neuralgia. My quality of life down spiraled these last 9 years. My ability of function has gone from being able to go seasonal camping with my family to now barely going anywhere and doing anything. Other medical issues have complicated my health and life further. Be strong. For you as well as Adam. Be happy he is with you and enjoy every little thing. The depression is real. ❤ also brain injuries can be difficult. My father had a cerebral aneurysm in the same area as where Adam's injury occurred. The life quality is worth it as long as he has you. ❤
Celine, I first saw you on Sam and Colby, and joined your RUclips channel as soon as it finished. Watching this broke me. I’ve never had to pause a video in the middle due to emotion. Your story was very close to the bone for me, a similar parallel which had me in floods of tears. Not the same cause, but the life changes, the pain, the illness, the frustration, the feeling of being lost and the bubble of uncertainty and dread of “what’s next” always floating around, and that guilt. I can totally relate to you, your new normal..but that normal is always changing. You are not on your own gurl.. you’re very much loved. Thank you for sharing such a hard personal topic. I love your videos on life, your sleep walking - something else I know about at first hand. Stay strong, love and light to you and Adam. Hugs from England 🏴 🇬🇧💜
I Love there channel
Sam and Colby really are the best
Me too
What a lovely comment. Sending love to you tonight, from Wales xx xx 💜💜
Don’t feel like you HAVE to give us updates girly. You need to focus on Adam and yourself before us ❤️ we are all here for both of you and if there is any way we can donate to help you guys, please let us know! I cannot imagine what you are going through just know you both have all the support and love in the world. He will get better, manifest mama!!! ❤️🤞🏻
"If I didn't have Adam...if the world didn't have Adam..." Girl, you love him so much. I wish with everything that I have that he can find relief. He's got a treasure in you. You guys...omg. I love you both so much and thank you for sharing with us. This stuff is never easy, and it's certianly not something you should feel you have to do alone.
This is the kind of thing I'm so afraid of happening to my own partner, or to me and burdening him with an even more broken version of myself (I have cerebral palsy and bad self-esteem problems). But you're so, so beautifully strong, Celina. You're his number one support, and I'll be praying for you two. Please keep us updated when you feel comfortable. Don't feel like you're letting us down, he takes priority- he's your husband. We understand that.
This was so well said. ❤
I pray Adam gets better, and his brain heals quickly. I can see and hear the pain in your eyes and voice. It broke my heart, watching this. We all love you both and praying for yall.
My heart breaks for you and your husband. When you speak of him it sounds like you're giving a eulogy for a living person. You said "We can have it all, yet have nothing." Very true. Don't loss hope. I will keep you two in my thoughts and prayers.
I thought he died for a few minutes 🥺
I cannot pretend I understand what day to day life is like for both of you. I can tell you that, as a chronic pain survivor, your role in your husband's life is precious and likely keeps him alive. Having someone who loves you unconditionally makes all pain less overwhelming. It can't take it away but his ability to endure is likely mostly because of you.
This! If I didn’t have the support of my husband, I may not be here. It makes all the difference
Omg this is such an emotional story 🖤 you're amazing! You and Adam are in my thoughts!!!
As a mom to an adult who suffered a severe TBI (left side craniectomy), my heart breaks for you. Recovery is a freaking marathon. There is no way to make it go quicker, you just have to hold on. Hold on tight! Especially to those good days. Prayers for you all.
"He was the one that fixed everything. And I just wish that I could fix him."
Fuck... That's... Wow.
You guys are in our thoughts & prayers. Please try & remember that no matter how bad things get, it is not forever.
Your pain will always cease. And the sun will come up again.
🥰🥰🤗🙏🏼
You're right as a loving wife and friend to share this with your viewers. From someone who has brought her idiosyncrasies to the web all bold and real, oftentimes relatable always cute and lovable. By accepting a challenge to market your unique personality, you are indeed a story of success, gaining countless fans. You and Adam will receive the support and prayers from enough people to fill a football stadium. And the focal attentiveness of positivity and well wishes from that many people harness the power to conjure miracles. Never lose hope. You and your hubby will receive blessings while u both remain in the thoughts of all your adoring fans that you have won over by being an individual with a dynamic personality. Zapping you both with positive energy bolts, val
Val (survivor of tbi)
Oh Celina... I can't imagine what you're feeling. I'm just crying for you. You're so strong. Have you done therapy for yourself? It might help you cope with everything. It's different than letting your feelings out for all of us, especially keeping a lot private. You're both so loved. You're not alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened. Mad respect for you for sharing your story. ❤
Hi Celina, i know this is 2 years ago, but this really touched my heart. I went through somethjng very similar that your husband went thru. I was skateboarding back in 2018 and i fell and hit my head really bad off the road on my right temple, i sprained my neck and injured my back and my SI joints. Its taken YEARS for me to recover. For the first three years i was ALWAYS in pain, my whole body hurt, i couldnt sit for too long and when i did sit it had to be straight up on a kitchen chair with cushions, i couldnt sleep, i had to lay straight on my back to sleep for three years. I hardly slept, i couldnt watch tv, couldnt hold my phone it hurt too much, couldnt walk too much, couldnt ride in the car, was misdiagnosed for years, was told i was fine when i clearly was not fine. I was misdiagnosed with fibromyalgia for years after then to realize it was post concussion disorder, drs like to tell you that doesnt exist but it for sure does. My whole life changed bc of one fall.