Well, I Just Crapped Myself

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  • Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
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    People who have crap themselves during their adult life, what happened?
    #Reddit #AskReddit

Комментарии • 157

  • @meganfaith4052
    @meganfaith4052 3 года назад +74

    Always remember kids: you might crap yourself but that’s okay because millions of others definitely have.

  • @renakunisaki
    @renakunisaki 3 года назад +67

    "my mother in law shoots herself regularly" that moment when censoring it makes it worse

  • @tkb5726
    @tkb5726 3 года назад +64

    I am so glad I am not the only one who has shit themselves as an adult. Humiliating asf 😭

    • @angrydoggo5066
      @angrydoggo5066 3 года назад +4

      You can’t leave us hanging here. You gotta tell us the story.

    • @tkb5726
      @tkb5726 2 года назад +11

      @@angrydoggo5066 honestly the story isn’t anything huge or interesting but ok. 😂
      basically one day I had a really upset stomach and was spending hours upon hours in bed in the fetal position with my stomach making UNGODLY noises with me going to the bathroom every now and then only for my body to be like “nah false alarm bro.” That night, though, I finally managed to fall asleep, but of course my stomach is still killing me. At one point I distinctly remember being half awake and hearing that rumbling sensation. Made the horrible decision of writing it off because my body had been doing that literally all day without any sort of bowel movement. When I woke up again, though, it was obvious that if I didn’t get to the bathroom asap I was going to LITERALLY shit the bed. So I get up and RAN to the bathroom. Bad move number two because that upset my stomach even more. Made it to the bathroom door, put my hand on the knob - and immediately shit myself. I have never before felt an odd mixture of relief that my stomach had finally stopped hurting and absolute HUMILIATION at having crapped my pants at 22 years old. Thankfully everyone else slept through it, I cleaned myself up, and disposed of the evidence so the only people who know about this are strangers on the internet. 😂

    • @fombaslayer7863
      @fombaslayer7863 2 года назад +3

      @@tkb5726 At least you didn't get caught 😭

    • @basiclybird959
      @basiclybird959 2 года назад

      @@tkb5726 😂

    • @nothingheretowatch7371
      @nothingheretowatch7371 Год назад

      I did it :(

  • @sams3015
    @sams3015 3 года назад +14

    If you “love to travel” and haven’t crapped your self at least once in public…you’re either lying or you’re staying 5* hotels

    • @mirandamead1962
      @mirandamead1962 3 года назад +2

      True 😂

    • @thomasewing2656
      @thomasewing2656 3 года назад +5

      My accidents didn't start until the 50+ age bracket. No more cast-iron stomach.

    • @sams3015
      @sams3015 3 года назад

      @@thomasewing2656 actually on a family trip to Cuba, when we all got sick (bacteria in beer). I got sick later and for shorter than my parents. My dad was sick an entire week longer

    • @carlfromtheoc1788
      @carlfromtheoc1788 3 года назад

      @@sams3015 Dude, you ONLY drink beer in countries where they were taught to make it by either the Brits, the Germans, the Czechs, or Brit descendants in Canada, USA, Australia, New Zealand. It is why the Japanese, Chines, Indians, Mexican, and Brazilians (to name a few) make good suds.

  • @Darkinu2
    @Darkinu2 3 года назад +21

    Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing on these videos... then I hear the stories and can't help laughing.

  • @Feast_
    @Feast_ 3 года назад +16

    I went on vacation to Disney with my mom and sister (if I get time off work, *I'm going to take it* ). My sis bought a bath bomb at Disney Springs (formerly Downtown Disney) and asked if I had to use the restroom before that. I didn't at the time
    Like 5-10 minutes after the door is locked, I'm playing on my Switch on the couch, then it hits me like a bag of bricks, I need to crap. Bad.
    I urgently let my mom know, and she lets my sis know, who is now rightfully pissed, and like 4 minutes later my sis is out. I rush in and let out a painful crap, only to notice crap stains in my drawers. I bagged them up and threw them away outside, all while thanking god for the fact I brought extra drawers
    IBS sucks, and iirc I did pay my sis back for that bath bomb... Aside from that it was a great trip, and remember when you go on vacation, *bring extra clothes*

    • @mamasaurus4856
      @mamasaurus4856 3 года назад +4

      As a fellow sufferer of IBS, you have my sincerest empathy

  • @emmeencream
    @emmeencream 3 года назад +20

    I used to have stomach problems that frequently had me vomiting and diarrhea at the same time. Now when I have to throw up, my muscles that let me poop automatically. I haven't had an accident because of that.
    BUT when I was 6 I had a shart in 1st grade and cried saying I needed to go home. I didn't tell the school why, but it was really out of character for me. My mom got me and I told her what happened.
    In college, my stomach was a little angry, but only felt like it was gassy. Well I have a tiny shart. Went to the bathroom and threw out the undies. Thankfully it didn't go into my pants 😅
    Then a sadder one was I was having stomach problems, that I later found out was food poisoning, and while driving home, my girlfriend (Now ex) bullshitted me and I started bawling. I accidently crapped myself cuz I couldn't stop shaking from crying so hard

  • @Bassmanhill84
    @Bassmanhill84 3 года назад +15

    Who hasn't crapped themselves at least once? Come on now. I have. The worst part was I couldn't find a bathroom. So I'm crapping my pants kinda standing up next to a water dispenser machine infront of an Albertson's, and some Kid just stood there watching me. The whole time . Eye contact a few times. He watched the whole violent act.

  • @terry3906
    @terry3906 3 года назад +4

    7:26 As soon as you said "Indian restaurant"...
    Lovely people. Delicious food. But it will hurt you.

  • @gannicusfinch7068
    @gannicusfinch7068 3 года назад +5

    Traveling the American Southwest and the cuisine must have caught up with me. Every once in awhile, I get the telltale percolation in the nether regions that tells me that, one way or the other, I'm vacating in roughly 30 seconds. One of these feelings hit me right in the middle of Flagstaff, AZ. My wife had elected to stay at the hotel while the kids and I headed out to grab a couple of geocaches. All of a sudden, there it was, and right in the middle of a residential area. I headed south at breakneck speed, craning my neck looking for an unoccupied yard or treeline. Finally, I made it down to the business district, but nary a gas station in sight. Thankfully, it was a Sunday, and most of the businesses were closed. I was out of time, and didn't want to soil the rental. I parked in the first parking lot I saw, apologized to my embarrassed kids, and did the standard "butt cheeks clenched" walk around the building (I think it was some insurance agency). There was a dumpster about five feet away from a concrete wall serving as a property divider. I ducked into this space, dropped trou, and just unleashed. Had to use my underwear to wipe. Pretty standard stuff for this thread. The kids weren't too impressed.

    • @thomasewing2656
      @thomasewing2656 3 года назад +1

      Sounds a lot like my adventure. Nice sunny Sunday strolling solo to the local Quick-Mart and last night's overeating starts to really announce itself. I started to look for bushes or a dumpster enclosure in this semi-commercial/residential area. I crossed a normally busy street and dodged behind a closed business near a church and let fly. A huge syrupy mess on the wall and sidewalk sprayed and splatted. No mistaking what it was and how delivered in plain sight. Had there been a church bus full of little old ladies or a police officer writing reports I would've still let loose! What a terrific relief there were no witnesses. Several weeks later and the stain was still there--the weather and custodial staff hadn't touched it! Avoid too many Apricots!

  • @TheJacali
    @TheJacali 4 месяца назад +2

    Hahaha omg 😆 that guy who crapped on his friends face 😂😂😂😂

  • @zstrike5538
    @zstrike5538 2 года назад +3

    pooping on yourself is nightmare fuel lol

  • @niranthbanks3595
    @niranthbanks3595 3 года назад +2

    Several times, during a harsh Crohn’s flare. Explosive diarrhea With very little warning. Had happened from diagnosis until 9 years later when I had a bowel resection. They took my appendix, ascending to the middle of the transverse. From then on, I didn’t any killer flares and quit taking prednisone.

  • @teoniflynn6588
    @teoniflynn6588 5 месяцев назад +1

    3:00 poor Micheal

  • @mitchdroese84
    @mitchdroese84 3 года назад +5

    Went hunting this morning and had to emergency shit and use my left sock to wipe. Still better than being at work.

  • @cindywho3581
    @cindywho3581 3 года назад +8

    never pooped myself but peed myself I was at the ER with a bladder infection drank a ton of water to get a sample after getting a diagnosis and a prescription for antibiotics they sent me on my way got as far as the parking lot had to turn around to run to the nearest bathroom but the person manning the door (covid reasons) wouldn't let me back in peed myself right there in the glass encloser between the two doors had to drive home sitting on a blanket

    • @angelface925
      @angelface925 Год назад

      Hopefully they had to clean it up and or (at least) breathe the odor of his inconsiderate decision.

  • @joelgordon7814
    @joelgordon7814 2 года назад +5

    Not me, but my late father: we were in a Lots Off (sort of like Big Lots) and he suddenly asks me if a fart is supposed to be wet. I just looked at him and shuddered. It was close to Christmas, so it made for a rather odd memory.

    • @freakda96
      @freakda96 2 года назад

      This remembers me of my dad. We were traveling through the Mexican Southeast (Riviera Maya). We just visited the Tulum Ruins and were starving. The only place open was a "naturist Burrito place". Way too natural, everything tasted like grass. We are now going to the next town, my dad is driving and he felt the urge to shit. No civilization nearby. So he stopped the car and ended up sharting all over his boxers before he could put his shorts down. My uncle went to help him but almost pukes from the vision and smell. We were traveling through a Natural reservation and littering was extremely prohibited so we had to travel with his shart boxers (inside a bag) in the trunk

  • @freakda96
    @freakda96 2 года назад +3

    I wasn't an adult yet but i was not a little Kid either, I was about 15/16. We went to spent the weekend at a friend's birthtown. The place was super small but had their own hot spring aquatic park ran by a neighbors association. Super pretty and warm and fun. But, since those were hot springs, the water had to be returned to the river and they were prohibited to chlorate the water. By the end of every day, the water was a human broth. Any kind of fluid was in there. It was kinda gross but meh, they drained the pools every day and in the morning you'll have clean hot water. Also we were stupid teenagers.
    Me and the friend that invited us ended up picking some type of amoeba and got sick when we were back home. I was trying to run desperately for the bathroom but sharted less than one meter from the door. I was super embarrased but a call from my friend's mom made me feel better since he had the exactly same situation at home. lol.
    I really miss my friend, he died of cancer when he was 23. But i've always have all the embarrassing memories. RIP. Edgar

  • @ext93
    @ext93 3 года назад +6

    Like 2 or 3 years ago before work my ex-gf was getting ready in our only bathroom. She hated when i interrupted her routine in the bathroom in the morning since I got up and got ready before her. I hadn't pooped that morning like usual, but I could tell one was coming. I figured I could hold it until I got to work in about ~15 mins. Like 1 minute before I needed to leave, my guts played a trick on me. I crapped a little bit but was able to hold most of it... I grabbed a paper trader Joe's bag and ran down 3 flights of outdoor stairs to our communal basement (small apartment building) where I proceeded to launch about 10 pounds of swamp sludge into the paper bag. Tossed my underwear and cleaned up my butt in the utility sink, then tossed the trader Joe's bag in the neighbors dumpster and ran off to work. That wasn't the last time I dumped in a trader Joe's bag either. I luckily had one in my vehicle on the job one day (I worked outside and the homeowners weren't home to let me use the bathroom that day) so I dumped in a paper bag in the back of my work van. In the middle of a very busy and affluent neighborhood parked on the street where people were always biking by or walking dogs. Always keep a trader Joe's bag and some wipes in your car! You never know..

  • @davidtallman-my4os
    @davidtallman-my4os Год назад +1

    I used to take Magnesium on a regular basis to stay regular. But I ran out of the supplement, so after a week I bought some. Since I was behind a week, I took six 500mg tablets. That night at work on the overnight shift in a Psych Hosp. as I was doing a Patient bed check when I felt a large fart coming on, so I cracked off the fart in the main hallway, but it wasn’t a fart, I sh!t my pants! I hustled up to the nurse’s station and asked them to tell my Supervisor that I needed to go home immediately due to a medical emergency! But my Supv, wanted all the details before she would OK me to go home! After I told her all the details, she decided she didn’t want to know all the graphic details that I explained to her, after all!
    I was approved to go home. When I returned to work, I had to go to the Director of Nursing’s office. She hadn’t heard the graphic details, but expressed concerns about my health and if I was feeling better? I thought she too wanted every detail too, so I told her what happened! She grimaced in anguish,and said “OMG, TMI”! LOL!

  • @boogiebear3095
    @boogiebear3095 2 года назад +1

    12:55 that’s a lot of confidence

  • @SB-gd7mh
    @SB-gd7mh 2 года назад +2

    There seemed to be people waiting to brag about the fact that they've shit their pants multiple times

  • @zacksirola1552
    @zacksirola1552 3 года назад +2

    Three words: Daily morning diarrhea.

  • @jessicas2379
    @jessicas2379 3 года назад +2

    I have never poped myself as an adult. But one time in gym we went off school property to do a tennis unit nearby i think 20 min walk. I had to POOP so bad! We walked to the court (but my teacher drove cause she had all the rackets and stuff) I almost pulled her aside when we got to the courts and say "when we are done can you drive me back to school cause I gotta poop like really badly" thankfully the urgent feeling went away and I was able to get back to school.

  • @SuperCabrito14
    @SuperCabrito14 Год назад +1

    That Captain America story was beautifully written. RIP 💀💀👍

  • @blindpeopledostuff3587
    @blindpeopledostuff3587 3 года назад +4

    Lol New medication for diabetes and I didn’t know that it was coming until it was already coming. I was trying to get the bathroom key to turn the lock and I wasn’t so lucky. By the time I sat on a bowl it was already in the underwear. Annoyingly this happened twice at work. Luckily I was just able to go home. My company doesn’t mind people they have emergencies.

  • @jackb7494
    @jackb7494 9 месяцев назад

    You only ignore the Master once in your life before you drop everything to find a toilet when he so much as whisper.

  • @catherinebirch2399
    @catherinebirch2399 10 месяцев назад

    I had an old episiotomy scar split a few years back. I had a repair done but it wasn't very successful. This means that I'm at risk of having fecal leakage, so when I go out I usually take some Imodium which really helps.

  • @Monte8Carlo
    @Monte8Carlo 3 года назад +1

    Literally just came home because I felt sick. Had to tell my supervisor "I crapped my pants".
    I'm not embarrassed.

  • @imalfie7079
    @imalfie7079 Год назад +1

    I was with a mate who leaned over another mate's face, went to fart. According to the guy about to get 'farted' on, he saw my mate's pants fill up and suddenly he rushed out of the room. Funny.

  • @ABCEasyas--
    @ABCEasyas-- 2 года назад

    “Safety first”
    Love the double entendre. You’re supposed to say “safety” after you toot.

  • @holleythompson981
    @holleythompson981 23 дня назад

    Happened during chemo a lot, lost lots of underwear. It comes on really fast.

  • @MaryArts
    @MaryArts 3 года назад +1

    I have Morbus Crohn and one time I was not prepared with a toilet nearby. So me and my boyfriend sprinted out of the park to find some shops, bars or something where I could go on the toilet. They all said no and I really told them: "Dude, this is an emergency. Frigg your rules. You have a toilet, so let me shit" but nope, they wouldn't budge. So we ran (as fast as I could without shitting myself. Also one gets very bad belly cramps. I sweated like a pig, and I am a cute little 23 year old, so that is a rare sight) after 10 minutes of failed attempts to convince people and being the most self-controlled person in the world at that time, I felt it... there was a kind of bush nearby but it wasn't really hidden, but I said, it is too late. I partly shat into the bush and onto my clothes and my boyfriend did his best to not let anyone see... I was so humiliated on that day... People are so unreasonable... and this is why people with Morbus Crohn and IBS rarely go outside... I am really trying to live a normal life but it is impossible when any time I go out, I am afraid that it will happen again...

  • @dannythompson1948
    @dannythompson1948 3 года назад +3

    Alcohol..

  • @DodgerOfZion
    @DodgerOfZion 3 года назад +1

    I woke up after a long night of work. Thought it was horrible gas. It was not.

  • @Ice.muffin
    @Ice.muffin 3 года назад +3

    One of the funniest reddit videos I've ever watched, if not _the_ funniest xDDD!

  • @timfrank7461
    @timfrank7461 Год назад

    Found.out the HARD way i cannot have pink meat after having an appendix removed

  • @TheQuenchiestCake
    @TheQuenchiestCake Месяц назад

    Last time I crapped myself was during a period when I was being excessively overworked and it took a bad toll on my body, one morning I was barely awake and thought I was letting out some gas I ended up pooping myself, it was pretty wet and it was a lot, good thing I was wearing a diaper to bed like I always do.

  • @IRONMAN-kb4su
    @IRONMAN-kb4su 3 года назад

    Got PCB Poisoning from work , one of the symptoms is to cough for mins and mins to point of vomiting or crapping yourself or both , makes for great outings to anywhere !

  • @kellydoodlez1
    @kellydoodlez1 3 года назад +1

    I trusted a fart I shouldn’t have. 🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @lynnpayne9519
    @lynnpayne9519 3 года назад +2

    I tried cold brew coffee for the first time. Let's just say I won't be doing it a 2nd time. Yes, I just tossed out the underwear, took the Imodum and changed pants. What else can you do?

  • @spirit006theassassin
    @spirit006theassassin 5 месяцев назад

    I once got food poisoning. I just puked and let the other end do as it pleases, I let my underwear and pants deal with it. In the end, I didn't soil myself (even thought I had the feeling I will).
    After the puking, I sat on the toilet, just in time. Luckily, this was at home. I stopped buying the desserts that likely caused it.

  • @reggiereggiesauce5755
    @reggiereggiesauce5755 Год назад

    Had stomach flu last august, doesn’t help when whenever you vomit, your stomach muscles contract.

  • @BlueDart1971
    @BlueDart1971 3 года назад

    I feel strongly that the mother in law is my mother. Describes her perfectly.

  • @carlfromtheoc1788
    @carlfromtheoc1788 3 года назад +1

    Thought I had, but it was a dream, which woke me up in time to head to the can where I "blew up the bowl" with a very serious deuce.

  • @nanofate4118
    @nanofate4118 3 года назад

    I did as I was recovering from a bad seizure. Also I think the phrase is "never trust a fart"

  • @crystalmerchant2688
    @crystalmerchant2688 2 года назад

    My daughter has IBS she said it's pretty rough too she takes no prisoners when she's got to go either

  • @gabrielbruce1977
    @gabrielbruce1977 2 года назад

    13:19 oh boy. I hope there wasn't a surge of Grimer or anything after they fled the scene...

  • @garnetjohnson763
    @garnetjohnson763 Год назад

    When i got to the one about the birthday dude and curry eating, im literally on the floor LAUGHING so hard i can't breathe. I mean, you got this monotone robotic voice telling it adds SO much to the hilarity😆😆😆

  • @purelysmetalnightcore
    @purelysmetalnightcore 3 года назад +3

    Both times I thought it was just a fart. Felt like one and all that. Fortunately I have great control of my butthole and managed to stop myself as soon as I felt a little come out. I've even prevented any poo from coming out at all when I tried to fart but felt something start to slip out. It happens.

    • @dinodan247
      @dinodan247 2 года назад

      How old were you ?

    • @purelysmetalnightcore
      @purelysmetalnightcore 2 года назад

      @@dinodan247 Once when I was 17 and once when I was 21 or so. There was a time I actually did shit myself when I was 7 and I told myself I'd never do that again.

  • @GG-jn4dx
    @GG-jn4dx 3 года назад

    I’ve almost crapped myself a couple of times

  • @crystalmerchant2688
    @crystalmerchant2688 2 года назад

    The same with my daughter Sarah and it's awful she has to take medicine

  • @VanillAbunbun2
    @VanillAbunbun2 6 месяцев назад

    I poop myself every morning

  • @dinolover6466
    @dinolover6466 2 года назад

    Watching this while eating Ice cream. Feel like a god

  • @jenpw1525
    @jenpw1525 Год назад

    My Gramma crapped her pants at a grocery store. She left her cart there to go home and change. Walks in the door and the family including her priest jumps out from behind the couch “Surprise!!”. She came home with crap in her pants running down her leg the day we threw her a surprise party. She was so embarrassed and mad at us.

  • @truckingguru1995
    @truckingguru1995 10 месяцев назад

    Lol , the stories I hear being a trucker .

  • @tristantheoofer2
    @tristantheoofer2 Год назад

    im not 18 (im 15) but like a month or 2 ago i was walking back from the conveniece store. felt a fart coming and gambled on it... it was a liquid shit. not too bad but still fucking horrible

  • @sagew1312
    @sagew1312 3 года назад

    I shit myself on a public bus on my way to work once. It was awful. I got a piercing that morning and I was in so much pain that my body just didn't feel okay. Well, my stomach being one of the things that was upset. So I am on the bus and let out what I thought was a fart. It wasn't a fart

  • @joonlovescrabs
    @joonlovescrabs 7 месяцев назад

    the first like 5 times i sharted was within a 2 week period i had food poisoning (thanks arbys). It was the year of virtual school and one of the times i sharted like a minute before my band zoom call where we had to have our camera on so i got to sit in a small amount of shit

    • @l1927
      @l1927 7 месяцев назад

      Arbys._.? Maybe watermelon.

  • @ktg3811
    @ktg3811 10 месяцев назад

    It's a good tip is in order to eat Indian food
    Never eat chili is it will give you a horrible diarrhea especially from skyline from what I've heard from

  • @mapples5871
    @mapples5871 2 года назад

    My worst nightmare

  • @ktg3811
    @ktg3811 10 месяцев назад

    I am not going to admit this as I would not even give this information to the as it is

  • @s-gk3ki
    @s-gk3ki 3 месяца назад +2

    Im abdl so this is common for me lol

  • @blindpeopledostuff3587
    @blindpeopledostuff3587 3 года назад

    Also fucking Dairy Queen. All the times were because I didn’t know it was coming until this shit was not stoppable anymore. Luckily I lived in a house I was able to run home really fast because I was already on my block.

  • @cincysilvia8807
    @cincysilvia8807 3 года назад

    True Cincinnatian at 20mins

  • @fabianholt7563
    @fabianholt7563 2 года назад

    Thanks for this video

  • @evelynwildman1290
    @evelynwildman1290 2 года назад

    On immunosuppressive therapy for autoimmune disease. Had been eating precut melon from Safeway. Some dipshit used ?same knife ? Cutting board to cut raw chicken and melon. Got campylobacter infection. Shit myself for days. Spent 10 days in hospital during first of Covid outbreak so no rooms. Stayed in ER crapping in portable toilet in front of glass door facing busy hallway. Lost 35 lbs

  • @crystalmerchant2688
    @crystalmerchant2688 2 года назад

    My daughter was 18 and she did that she had to have a colonoscopy she said her butt broke like a thousand sons

  • @JohnDoe-cz9yn
    @JohnDoe-cz9yn Год назад

    I love this 😅

  • @Khaleesi_Of_Kittens
    @Khaleesi_Of_Kittens Год назад

    Is it really this common?

  • @Llama_Of_Rivia
    @Llama_Of_Rivia 3 года назад

    Food poisoning from a fucking tesco sandwich

  • @Jediscum_217
    @Jediscum_217 Год назад

    Not adults we are 13 but one time at school my friend had caught the stomach flu and she sneezed and crapped her self a bit so she went to the bathroom without anyone knowing what happened and she took a giant liquid crap and picked on the floor in that stall and she texted me to come to the bathroom and I go assuming she wanted to tell me something and I walk in on her crying puking and liquid pooping at the same time and we had to find out what to do and I ended up giving her my spare pair of pants to hide the 💩 stain and we tried to wash the puke off of her and she went home we don’t speak of that

  • @koasucks
    @koasucks 3 года назад

    First

  • @GeneralGWolfe420
    @GeneralGWolfe420 3 года назад +85

    We shall never forget you Captain America Boxers, you shall be missed.

  • @DezyVic93
    @DezyVic93 3 года назад +40

    It's so common and NO ONE warns you about it as an adult

  • @sheriff8764
    @sheriff8764 3 года назад +15

    Here i sit broken hearted tried to shit but only farted

    • @lorennicholls5901
      @lorennicholls5901 4 месяца назад +1

      Then,one day you took a chance farted and shit your pants.......

  • @mionfel1350
    @mionfel1350 3 года назад +15

    Half woke up one morning and had a fart loaded so naturally I let it rip and started to go back to sleep when I had an itch and scratched it only to feel my pants were loaded, thankfully no one was home so my accident went unnoticed but to this day I've never trusted a fart ever again.

  • @mamasaurus4856
    @mamasaurus4856 3 года назад +11

    I have a mix of two Autoimmune illnesses and severe IBS. I at least get to the bathroom, but there have been times I could only crawl there before nearly passing out on the floor. If I just cannot pull myself up to the toilet and lay forward on the sink counter ahead of me, I had to learn to have cheap towels on hand to pull to the floor with me until I can get up later (sometimes can't and have to call ambulance, like if my legs are totally numb, I'm convulsing, heart has gone up to 150+ and won't slow again). Then I roll it up into a plastic bag and put it in the black bagged trash outside and then go sit in the bottom of the shower until I can crawl back to bed. Luckily I have finally found a combinations of meds that make this uncommon for me anymore.

    • @VirtualTech
      @VirtualTech 3 года назад

      Omg can't imagine how hard it is for you

  • @SasukeUchiha-tc9xx
    @SasukeUchiha-tc9xx 3 года назад +7

    A friend of mine decided to eat 3 day old Taco Bell for breakfast. Yeah, his underwear was obliterated. Someone next to him reported smelling rotten flesh when it happened

    • @tateranus4365
      @tateranus4365 3 месяца назад

      I still would trust that more than I would the chinese communist party!

  • @kristopher6031
    @kristopher6031 3 года назад +4

    "Altar of the porcelain God" 😂

  • @Twitchyx7
    @Twitchyx7 3 года назад +7

    I wish I was joking when I say I pooped myself for the first time since I was in diapers, two days ago. I have Covid, but am getting better. Thought I could trust a fart, nope.
    Luckily I was standing in my front yard, didn't have far to go to get myself cleaned up - still it's a solid hit to the old pride bone. Just ruined a 25+ year streak, now starting over.
    (Kinda odd this specific video happens to publish now)

    • @imaspoon4522
      @imaspoon4522 3 года назад +3

      Hope you're completely recovered soon!

    • @mamasaurus4856
      @mamasaurus4856 3 года назад +2

      It happens! And I hope you're all the way better soon. :)

  • @sarahjane121
    @sarahjane121 3 года назад +4

    My mom likes to remind me of the time I crapped myself before going into the smoke shop to pick up cigarettes, so I decided to go around to the drive thru instead of going inside. I got home at the same time when my dad got home from work and he’s like “Can you let the dogs out?” I just run to the door yelling, “Not right now I shit myself!” Also thank god for leather seats.

  • @cuteizombi6946
    @cuteizombi6946 3 года назад +3

    I was on some really strong medicine that was supposed to help with my intestinal issues so I would just be sitting on the couch and out of nowhere I would have a sudden urge to run to the toilet but 99% of the time someone else was in the bathroom and it would be too late for me by the time they got out I'm doing much better now and I am on a less intense form of meds it was embarrassing and awkward but my mom always reassured me when it happened that it would happen to everybody weirdly it made me feel better

  • @Kerguelen1
    @Kerguelen1 3 года назад +7

    Ten years ago on my way to work (nightcrew, thank God!) I loaded my drawers running for a tree to go behind. And once it started, good lord! “Lahar” is the only word that would do this nightmarish experience justice.

    • @mamasaurus4856
      @mamasaurus4856 3 года назад +3

      If it has to happen, at least it happened in privacy 😁

    • @VirtualTech
      @VirtualTech 3 года назад +1

      😂

  • @EdnaSpoonhands
    @EdnaSpoonhands 14 часов назад

    I had my dog out for a walk and I had diarrhea and i had 2 choices. No I didn't shit myself, nobody was around and I just dropped trow and shit my by brains out. I definitely keep my trashcan by my toilet in my bathroom. (IT PAID OFF WELL!)

  • @ABCEasyas--
    @ABCEasyas-- 2 года назад +1

    “My mother in law shoots herself regularly.”
    I beg your pardon?

  • @TheExvangelicalCat
    @TheExvangelicalCat 3 года назад +1

    Stomach flu. Rest in peace favorite toy story pajamas.

  • @uan3162
    @uan3162 3 года назад +1

    Would you say... you were shooting the crap.

  • @naruto456431
    @naruto456431 5 месяцев назад

    Omg this happened recently so I got back from going to the shops and I was on the phone to my mum and I thought I was good for a couple of minutes so I was talking to her brushing my hair when I felt my bowels let go and I diarrhoea shat myself and I freaked and hung up on my mum lucky it didn't get to my undies but holy crap that was so embarrassing!

  • @SirAthiro
    @SirAthiro 3 года назад +2

    Grateful this happened at home and my roommate wasn't home. I no longer trust farts that need a push.

    • @annnewton2878
      @annnewton2878 3 года назад +3

      - Farts are like love. If you have to force it, it’s shit!

    • @SirAthiro
      @SirAthiro 3 года назад

      @@annnewton2878 Lmfao eloquently put

    • @annnewton2878
      @annnewton2878 3 года назад

      @@SirAthiro - thank you, that’s what you get from a fucking lady, nothing but class!

    • @tateranus4365
      @tateranus4365 5 месяцев назад

      I almost always push my farts out, I ain't shat myself yet (well outside of being sick) and I have been doing this for well over a decade.

  • @boogiebear3095
    @boogiebear3095 2 года назад +1

    Never trust a 💨 fart

  • @jond4324
    @jond4324 11 месяцев назад

    I used to play the clarinet in my high school concert band. I was a very, very bad at it. Low end mediocre at my best. I sat dead last chair and none of the other clarinet players accepted me.
    One of our competitions was a 3 day mini tournament where we stayed in a hotel until it was over. The morning before the final performance, the RECORDED final performance complete with judges and all, the director discovered all thr clarinet players came down with a 24 hour stomach flu. I was the last man standing, probably because i wasnt invited to my fellow clarinet players evening festivities the night before.
    Ive seen my director nervous before, but he was so terrified he was white as a ghost and his voice was hoarse. Why? This particular piece had a clarinet solo. There wasnt time to transpose it for another instrument and the judges had our music so wed get hit big time if we skipped it. I was the last hope.
    After a 1 on 1 practice session with the director, I could almost not make the solo sound like a gerbal was being brutally murdered backstage. Showtime!
    We began the piece and my solo drew ever near. The director gave the the cue to walk up to the front of stage and get ready to begin. A microphone had been fitted near the bell of my clarinet to pick up the solo.
    The band grew quiet, the lights dimmed as a spotlight was beamed on me. The director looked at me and raised his baton. I drew a beep breath and...
    An ear shattering, soul crushing sqeak. Followed by a thunderous, vile fart that ripped through my buttcheeks and was amplified 100 fold by the mike as it reverberated around the concert hall and assaulted the ears of every man woman judge and child.
    Cue roaring, relentless, surround sound, finger pointing laughter from the audience in front of me and my bandmates behind me.
    Im standing up there in the white hot spotlight, tears streaming down my face when I feel my whole body sort of collapse into a small point in my gut. Intense pressure built up so fast I didnt know what to do with it. I didnt catch my sphincter quite fast enough. The pressure reversed and loads of steaming shit escaped my ass, ran down my legs, and came out through the cuffs of my pants onto the stage floor. Nobody was laughing anymore. As I was running off the stage for dear life I caught the look on my directors face. An intricate mixture of wrath, shame, and disgust. Good god.
    I never lived it down. Never touched a clarinet ever again. That was 13 years ago. Just last week someone anonymously sent me a pack of clarinet reeds in the mail. Fuck my life

  • @Subsaibot2526
    @Subsaibot2526 2 года назад

    I worked at a white castles for awhile this one was 24hours. We never shut off the grills and how we cleaned them was we just put water on the grill and wiped it with a rag. Now when we cooked the patties we would put water and onions on the grill and let the patties cook and stay there until someone ordered them. This meant the burgers would more or less get hard you only really got fresh burgers if we were in a rush or it was late in the morning. So there was dried up onions all the time that we had to recycle with the new ones. We also had these black tray like things that we kept the cheese in and we'd freeze the tray and put the cheese in it when we needed it. But what happens when when you take something out of the freezer? It thaws and begins to warm up the cheese because the kitchen is hot and that cheese begins to melt and get nasty and your co worker who has just given up on this job puts a stack of cheese on the counter that hasn't been wiped off in a while and uses it on the burgers. My time at that job was very short lived but I will never forget how gross it was. So it's no wonder we call those tiny little burgers gut bombs.

  • @heisensaul5538
    @heisensaul5538 2 года назад

    I dont really have anything interesting to say, but it's usually when you think it's just a fart and it's a little more then that.

  • @evelynwildman1290
    @evelynwildman1290 2 года назад

    “The Badger” is fricking awesome! Sucks having IBS!

  • @arthurmartin4616
    @arthurmartin4616 9 месяцев назад

    Always remember, even your crush has shat themselves at some point.

  • @demijne9
    @demijne9 Год назад

    Rip captain america

  • @ABCEasyas--
    @ABCEasyas-- 2 года назад

    Even if you feel gas coning, you should still make a beeline to the bathroom

  • @gelatin283
    @gelatin283 Год назад

    18:31

  • @andrewmorris9383
    @andrewmorris9383 Год назад

    S H A R T