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What Forgiveness Is NOT
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2021
- We all have to forgive someone, sometime. As humans, we simply can't bear the burden of a grudge for long. But are we sure what forgiveness is?
Today, Fr. Chris Alar, MIC makes it crystal clear what forgiveness is-and is NOT-and how you can give and receive it today.
For more of God's mercy and forgiveness displayed throughout history, check out the Divine Mercy Bible (tinyurl.com/yh...) from Ascension and the Marian Fathers of the Immaculate Conception.
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I have a friend who is a protestant and I gave her the Bible verse about confessing your sins but she said that it doesn't say "to a priest". I told her Peter was the first pope and she said Catholics made all that stuff up. I just don't know what else to tell her. I did mention that well you trusted the Catholic church to put all the scriptures together to make the Bible as we know it and to determine what was Holy Spirit inspired and what was not. She couldn't argue with that!
Im an atheist but I watch this lessons because they are just so wonderfully wise
Good fruit proceeds from good trees. Remember that Jesus loves you and believes that you were worth dying for. Have the same faith in Him that he has in you.
Please come home. Jesus will be waiting for you with open arms.
Jesus is waiting with open arms and he is here for you. Come home to him and his church. ❤️
God bless you. If noone else in the world existed and it was just you, Christ would still have died just for you
Father Alar has a lot wisdom. And he’s usually so gosh darn chipper I smile seeing most of his talks.
Forgiving can be very difficult - but we can ask Jesus to HELP us to forgive! Praise God!
God absolves us. I once had a priest say “forgive” instead of “absolve” in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I checked with another priest and did a re-do. Absolution is forgiveness plus mercy. Absolution breaks the ties and restores the relationship that was broken and bound.
This is helpful to me. I have been struggling with the thought of forgiving meaning "are things supposed to go back to how they were?" Because I can't because that person surely will hurt my feelings again. But I do want to forgive in my heart. I do not gate anyone. Thank you
Forgiveness doesn’t mean to forget 👏
Thank you, father! I've been struggling because I can't forget something but when I look at whether I want revenge, the answer is no. I actually do wish my enemy good will.
Well said really nice to know others struggle with the same. Thank you Jesus! 😂
I’m in the same boat. I love them and pray for them but I struggle to forget the hurts and betrayal endured so I’m relieved that Fr. Chris says we don’t necessarily have to be in relationship with them/reconcile but can love them from a distance(I pray daily & wish them all of God’s goodness & blessings be bestowed upon them). 😇🙏💓
"forgiveness is a gift you give yourself"!!! sometimes its so hard but pray to God for the strength to forgive. Love these videos by Fr. Chris Alar - he's such a holy priest!!!
Thank you so much Fr.Chris.God bless and protect you and your family.❤❤❤
exactly what i needed to hear at this time when i have so much anger in my heart towards someone
Hi Allan,
Guess what!!! The Bible has FINALLY ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When we forgive someone we acknowledge that that person did us some harm and that we simply let God sort it out and we get to let it go. O want to add that I have had four major major RIP offs in my life...by four people who hurt me terribly...I have no idea if I've forgiven them but it still surely hurts every single day...and I don't want revenge.
Yes, to be able to forgive others, no matter what, is to be very close to the heart of Jesus Christ.
This is beautiful, father.
I forgive, but remembering causes the pain to hurt again. The wrong done to me lives on, its ramifications live on.
I used to think forgive and reconcile were the same thing, but learning from videos like this and other christians that they are not the same thing. Forgiveness also doesn't mean you should trust the person who sinned against you and you are not wrong to mistrust them.
The way I see forgiveness is by not holding onto grudges, you accept the past and move on.
This is what we need as leaders of our nations. Awesome caring words said to us like this is said to us. Thank you Father.
With addiction in family this is so difficult to keep forgiving almos5 daily and slowly losing the 100 percent love and respect for them .
Thank you for the final blessing, Father.
Father, please forgive us for our sins. We need to be free of everything. I surrender everything to You, My Lord. Please save us.
In forgiveness you do not have to take someone back and give them the opportunity to cross your boundaries again. Forgiveness means that you release yourself of the burden. Forgiveness is beneficial to you. It does nothing for the offender. He is neither here nor there after you forgive him. No one should ever be thinking of revenge, self protection is not revenge, but a planned attack is revenge and a terrible sin on YOU to suffer consequences. If in the example that someone stole 2000 dollars you can take measures within the law to recover that or you can let them go, it is up to you.
I’m scared now if I don’t forgive-
I don’t want to lose my salvation! 😆
“I absolve you.” - my Favorite part of confession!
That sounds more like you’re afraid of being punished for not being okay with someone who wronged you.
Such a great help and explained so clearly, THANKYOU
I needed to hear this. Amen
Me too, you don’t know just how badly…thank God for bringing this to me!🙏💖
Thank you father for explaining this, it's what I needed to hear.
I really needed this clarification. Thank you Father.
I finally understand clearly now, thank you father… I am so relieved!!
fwiw - a family counselor once said that the opposite of Guilt is Forgiveness. Since guilt is purported to be fear combined with worry I would imagine that the experience of forgiveness is an amazing feeling of well -being, peace and joy. If we can do this for others we can also do this for ourselves, thanks to the great sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for our big and small transgressions. Thank you, Jesus. Again, thank you 🙏
Greetings from southcentral Texas USA 🇺🇸: hoping and praying that the Marians ( which includes you, Father Chris) are all right. Enormous huge 🤗 hug
Amen🙏
Amen father 👏
Great Speaker., he's a Great Straight out speacher God bless him for that.
Thank you Fr for your love for GOD’s people!!!
I love my brother Chris Alar. A great Marian priest in my opinion.
The best and he explains things with such simple clarity!!!
Thanks father, this helped me more than you will ever know 😊👍🙏
thank you father 🙏🙏🙏🥰🥰🥰
Thank you so much father
LOVE
Thank you God For the Gift of Forgiveness
Wisdom 👏
Love seeing Fr.Chris here. I always find coming back in his videos. Keep it up guys! Ascension is my favorite Channel
Thank you for explaining the Catholic and Christian words. Since Ascension’s program’s I’ve been learning and loving my faith more.
Thank you so much, Father.
So true
" If someone takes away your coat, give him as a gift your shirt as well...if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles."
Thank you.
Thank you I really needed this.🙏
Thank you
Excellent clear true
GREAT INSTRUCTION WILL DO A LOT OF GOOD.
BEAUTIFUL Father, I LUV how u explained what forgiveness is!! Now, makes me wanna sing
Ama namin
Sumasalangit ka
Sambahin ang ngalan mo
Mapa sa amin ang kaharian mo
Sundin ang luob mo
Dito sa lupa para na sa langit
Bigyan no kame ngayon
ang aming kakanin as araw-araw
at patawarin mo kame sa aming mga sala para na pagpapatawad namin sa nagcacasala sa amin at wag mo kame ipahintulot sa tukso
at iadya mo kame sa lahat ng masama.
Forgiveness should never be denial of bad character. And, sometimes reconciliation is a near occasion of sin, without virtue.
Thank you Father.
I really have to make an appointment for my Confession. I've been putting it off way too long.
I’m going this Saturday before Divine Mercy Sunday🙏😇
Forgiveness is rooted in justice: in case someone steals my bike, that person needs to give back my bike in order to be forgiven. Forgiveness is not unconditional: we are told by Scripture to forgive others as God has forgiven us. God forgives us on the condition that we are repentant, thus we forgive others on the same condition. We are obliged to forgive others on this condition, but not to reconcile with others: everyone is free to choose their friends and to stay away from those untrusted.
No fear in love
🙏🏼
Mercy>Forgiveness
Jesus is in the Confessional and speaks through the Priest.
Blessings
Perfect message ❤
When I was a 16 year old Catholic virgin I was raped. He made me pregnant and I lost my baby at 6 weeks. Now (14 years on) the police called me to help them with an investigation against my rapist. On Friday I got a big update and I am really really hoping that it is going to go to court. Do I forgive my rapist? NO! The trauma was so severe that it made me develop psychosis … I believed I was possessed by demons. My priest saved my life by consistently telling me I was not, no matter whether I believed him or not
I am awfully sorry that something like this happened to you. I hope you find peace and healing. God be with you.
I understand why you don't forgive your rapist but ask for God to give you the Strength to forgive. God be with you God loves you! He has a plan for you! I will pray for you.
Love your enemies. This was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, but those that harm you and abuse you will suffer far more than the suffering they inflicted upon you if they do not repent. Pray for them so that they may see the error of their ways.
I do not think that looking for justice is in conflict with forgiveness.
How did you lose your baby at 6weeks? Did you do abortion? Abortion causes more wound and hurt than rape
Book Called to Forgive by Reverend Anthony B. Thompson.
If we are forgiven to the measure we forgive, I'm in big trouble. The little queen of grudges.
LOL, I used to be that way, but asking Jesus (whole heatedly) for help to learn to forgive has really turned me around. Try it!
@@TheMDelima I'm the definition of stubborn and He knows it.
If you’re the Queen, I am the King. It’s so much easier to let grudges go when life is going along smoothly. But add some stress into the recipe and Bang, I’m chewing on things that rankled me years ago. God help us all.
🙏🏻
Amen 🙏✝️
We bad one priest who said it very simply. It means "oh, you can go spit under my window". Croatian proverb. So, what it means is, you can say or think or do whatever you want of me, but I'm not taking it as the image of myself; not taking it as the truth. So, if I offended you, and you are now angry, I succeeded. But if you just don't take it, you succeeded.
How do I forgive someone who thinks they didn’t hurt me? Can I just forgive them in my heart?
I think that's a great question. There are so many nuances to forgiving aren't there? I heard it said before that when something face-to-face is not possible or it's impractical, then the best thing we can do is to bring it to God prayerfully.
When someone cuts you off in traffic and makes you mad or you otherwise don't know the identity of the offender, then prayerfully forgiving them and praying further more for their conversion of heart is the best thing we can ever do for them. Especially praying for them/for their change of heart/for their conversion, it's known in the church as a spiritual work of mercy.
I often think about this with evangelization. Often people are unready to hear from us about God, much less about The Church. Praying on their behalf, and especially by name and from the heart, can do so much good. Our Lady tells us this all the time.
One other thing I would be remiss not to point out, and father kind of converted it in this video, that is the onus or responsibility we have to those who offend us to (lovingly and tenderly or thoughtfully) point out the offense and correct the offender, especially if the sin they are committing against you and against God is a grave matter. And be persistent about it. Sometimes we need repeated encounters with mercy to really open our eyes to our own wrongdoing. That is important for us to remember in our own sinfulness as well. 🙂
For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus
1 Timothy 2:5
Amen🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🙏✝️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I get so triggered around my dad from when I was young I seen him abuse my mom physically and even now psychologically. everytime i try to forgive him he continues with his bs and all i have inside me right now is anger. idk i want to give up but I don't want to lose God
👏
Father Chris thank you for this explanation, can you do one on the sin of pride? I can't find many on RUclips explaining the steps you must take to humble yourself and combat pride. This is a sin I struggle with daily, if there were a text book on pride and humbleness, I'd absolutely study it haha Thank God for the sacrament of confession, I use it often and repent earnestly.
Amazing!
A major and concerning thing that I feel is missing from this video is the very relevant piece that if you have wronged someone, you need to confess *to the person you have wronged* and ask for forgiveness from *them*.
James 5:16 NIV
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
A confession with a priest is not an apology to a person you have hurt.
I can hold onto the pettiest of offenses. I remember and talk about these offenses in the present. When a family member calls me out on it I become humiliated. It is a bad habit to hold onto the past. I have difficulty accepting the Church's teachings on forgiveness.
Rest assured we can all be like this, we're only human! It doesn't matter if we fall a thousand times as long as we get up and start again. As Divine Mercy reveals, God's mercy is unfathomable. Take care friend.
@@christophrichthofen1241 Do you think it is pride that leads humans to seek perfection? I want to be good but I wonder if I want to be good for God, to please people, or to escape punishment and judgment from people. I care far more about pleasing people and escaping judgment and punishment versus doing good to please God. I cannot see God or feel His presence but I can see and feel human judgment
@@IONov990 I'm no expert, but I can't see why all those won't somehow overlap. Helping and pleasing people will in turn please God (i.e. whatever you do the least of my brethren, you do it to me) Escaping judgment from people is also hopefully a good sign that you're being charitable towards your neighbour as God commanded. If you feel good when you treat people right, then maybe you are feeling the touch of the Holy Spirit's approval. I know it needs a lot of faith, but we can see God in the Eucharist (not too much faith though given the many scientifically investigated Eucharistic miracles...Ray Grijalba of The Joy of the Faith RUclips channel is launching a big movie about this later this year). There's nothing at all wrong in my opinion of having a healthy fear of God and so wanting to try and remain in a state of grace in order to be ready for our particular judgement. Just my thoughts, but I hope they help.
@@christophrichthofen1241 I guess the ideal is to do things out of love for God instead of out of fear
@@IONov990 I definitely agree, no better reason than that.
I have no problem forgiving, it hurts me too much to not forgive, but as a sinner I know I’ve hurt others, one in particular who seems incapable or forgiving even the slightest transgression despite my sincere apology and despite the fact that this person hurt me as well. How do I handle that relationship?
June 27, 2022
What does "letting go" mean? How do we do that if our brains are wired towards survival?
Some of these experiences make us hyper vigilant. Some cause us to be confused us about humanity and our social expectations of others.
Sometimes the confusion is so heightened that the only safe way is avoiding people and constantly reminding yourself of other's behaviors that might be a threat.
I didn't see what happened to me coming AT ALL! Which makes me believe I have to pay a LOT more attention and NOT give others the benefit-of-the-doubt EVER again. I was dealing with a psychopath. And even one psychopath in your life is ruinous!!! I know. And for anyone who thinks they would never experience this, that you are too clever, NO you are not. This is why psychopaths are good at what they do; they are good at manipulation.
Again, to cope I have to revisit the experience as a means of survival. I remind myself daily what signs to look for. I cannot "let it go" or it will happen again.
I think my understanding of the theology of the sacrament of reconciliation is deficient. I have a couple books, including the Catechism, to help remedy this (Fr. Mike's book is currently unavailable in paperback at Amazon). It seems bizarre, if I understand you correctly, so I will research it. "So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24). In my life I have friends who have lost people in their lives over trivial misunderstandings. People are literally misunderstanding one another, quite obviously, and this is being used as grounds for dismissal. I have seen it several times. Thank you.
Sorry, it looks like all I had in mind is CCC 1459; so, I suppose it is merely a matter of application.
I will also read Coming Closer to Christ: Confession and Forgiveness by Met. Anthony Bloom, which I had lying around. Please excuse my ignorance on this subject, and thank you for your time. God bless.
I forgave someone, and I told God so. But I haven't told that person. Am I required to do so?
ngl i dont get confession, doesn't make sense but you really do come out like a whole different person, lighter and freer
How do you forgive someone who has no idea that they did anything wrong?
I'm in that situation, and I don't think it matters what they think. You just forgive in your heart.
Do we really have to talk to them and tell them because it will cause another fight and to sin which that I’m avoiding I don’t want any contact whatsoever unless they have a changed heart which I have been praying for…
as christians are we required to be merciful and if yes how to be it when someone is constantly harming you in bad ways such as physical, mental, economical, manipulation etc...?
You can stay away from that person. Being a Christian does not mean you need to endure abuse or theft.
What is the difference between forgiveness during confession versus sanctification? If I die immediately after I go to confession and receive the Eucharist will I go straight to Heaven? Please help me understand.
❤️
Help Mary's cause by giving out scapulars and praying the Rosary
Luke 17 v3 states “if he repents,” with regard to forgiving a brother. With the exception of ignorance, are we required to forgive those who don’t seek it? Does God forgive us if we don’t ask for it? Yes, we must forgive, but it seems the sinner must acknowledge the sin first. If I’m wrong, explain it to me.
You are right and you put it well. God tells us exactly to forgive others like He has forgiven us, which is through repentance only. No repentance implies no Divine forgiveness, and we are told to imitate Him regarding forgiving others. Watch the video The Disaster of False Forgiveness by a faithful Catholic Presbyter.
Nice video. Yes, the priest is absolving us but he is acting “in persona Christi”. Thank you.
can we just inject this into my veins so that i don't forget? or download them into my brain lol
But what if the priest you confess to doesn't like you? He may not pass God's forgiveness to you, no?
❤🙏🙏
What about people within your own family, members and, husband, wife, and your own both side in- laws? Whom you are going to live with all your life till you are called from this world? And they keep hurting, wounding, troubling, insulting, keep shouting, hitting, beating, scaring, keep threating you, doing violance with you and all your babies? I mean completely hells people and bad people, evil, wicked people as family and into a family? Please answer and please pray for all such family's. Especially for all truly good, goodness, blessed, inocent, babies youngeronce, in such family's......... thanks Fr.
Would love to answer. What exactly is your question? 🤍
But shouldn't our emotions run their course? For the sake of a natural way of being, letting go leads you back. Perhaps expressions of disappointment could and should be expressed, rather than filtered out through forgiveness.
The message of the video is good though
🙏🕊💜
What about occasional anger, even though one doesn't want revenge?
YOU SINNER
Sorry, father. We are commanded to love by not keeping a record of wrongs. The Spirit of what you are saying is starting out very well, but it's incomplete since biblical forgiveness (between brothers and sisters IN Christ) is supposed to include healing that leads to reconciliation.
Your message is spot on when we are dealing with unrepentant nonbelievers, or phony Christians, but not when we are dealing with truly born again disciples who have surrendered all to Him.
The standards and expectations between us and each other or others (nonbelievers) are different. In Christ, Andrew
Sometimes I post things on the Internet and I’m like why did I post that? I don’t know these people That blocked me what you would think that would make it better, but it doesn’t because my goal is to get open AI open bionics an NDT to team up since my channel is the music channel, the song would be modeled after reach for the stars from sonic colors also wrote a song called reformation on romance, which explains how my mental state was totally inconsistent with someone that was sexually abused i’m traumatized by it I bet sketchy the changeling would change his mind if he saw that
Only God can forgive Sin.
Jesus gave that authority to His Apostles who were the first Christian priests.
😫💞💞💞💞
🙏☯️✝️✝️
Does really the priest forgive sins or does God forgive sins through a priest? I am confused.
God forgives your sins if you repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. You don’t need a priest, infact they hinder your free access to Christ
@@philipbaker2894 Well not precisely. The teaching of the Church for 1500+ years and in Catholic apostolic church until today is that priests (apostles) have been established by Christ as the ones dealing in the name of Christ on earth. Who do you forgive sins will be forgiven, who do you retain sins will be retained. I was just asking if the sins are forgiven already by the authority of the priest and we receive grace of reconcilliation by God right at that moment or the priest is the one who arranges the forgiveness of sins by God. God bless you brother.
sorry i think you have this wrong. reconciliation is part of forgiveness. if someone says they are sorry....truly sorry then reconciliation on some level is required. one may have to take it slow but it is required. mercy is love (and act of love from God) that comes even before contrition. while we were still stuck in our sin he sacrificed for us. so i think you have it backwards.
You don't have to be friends with everybody. But you do have to love them, which is why we forgive. Loving them from a distance sometimes is necessary.
But if they are not sincerely sorry, then no reconciliation is needed on repeat offenders I believe is what Fr. is saying here