You can't control the gibbering madness that lies waiting on the edge of our reality but for a small monthly premium you can ensure that you don't pay for it when things go eldritch.
"Ma'am...ma'am, you're chanting again. HEY! DOES ANYONE HERE SPEAK ANCIENT ARABIC?" ("She's just asking if she qualifies for the cultist discount.") "Well are you a recent convert, or have you been pressed into servitude by a senior master or perhaps the Ancient Ones themselves? Cuz if you just jumped ship after our mind inevitably broke down as a result of witnessing the oncoming fall of mankind and the deathof all that you hold dear, I'm afraid you'll have to wait in line like everybody else."
I wish I had HPL insurance back when I had yoggoth infestation. It got so bad I had to burn all my clothes,furniture, and bathe in bleach and tomato sauce. . After I moved away the landlord had to burn the apartment duplex. My neighbors at the time were also infested and ended up in a psychiatric hospital (they claimed to have "brain eggs"). Luckily I had the seal of the Nyrolothotep inscribed on the inside of my scull and wore the medallion of the Old Ones. It could have been worse I guess. Nobody but me knows the nightmarish unspeakable horrible unamable dark things that happened there. They were in the walls. Put your ear to the walls and you can hear them by the millions multiplying coming out at night to nibble a toe or ear that wasn't covered completely with my trusty Cthulhu blankie. Not crazy.....yet P.S. Don't go to the basement at Belmont Mansion....there's something....wrong down there.
+Just Ben Don't you just hate it when that happens? They say that during the infestation at my old place, my neighbour ate his own face; our landlady was wise enough to shoot herself before things went quite that far. Luckily I was already completely mad beforehand, so it was fairly smooth sailing on my end. My resident Ultharians helped out quite a lot, too. Though I wish they'd make their kills more quickly and with less noise...
*Breaks through the concrete in the Belmont Mansion Basement and sees a dead skeleton with symbols in red all over the body, and the wiring in a symbol circle* Me: Well there’s your problem, you had either a modern cultist, a CoC roleplayer, or a agent from the Laundry Division buried down here. It’s hard to tell though. *Starts hearing scratching in the walls, knowing darn well that the basement walls weren’t hollow.* Me: Uh, oh.
+Mr. Nymphetamine I know right. Thanks! It has only been live since December but Necronomicon is still our most popular with almost 450K and Elder Sign lags behind at 192K. But as long as people like yourself keep watching we'll keep making them.
Joseph Nanni Specif...? Um. Their aspect bears a curious repulsion, suggestive of both octopus and vulpine, yet infinitely... Awesome to behold, their memory still makes me shudder to recall in this asylum where I have been unjustly confined owing to certain malicious rumours... Their profile is such to make men of affairs quake, and men of science doubt their principles. Only a mage of ancient antiquity, his brain steeped in fumes of quicksilver, could make appliance of quill to parchment to describe... Er...They're moving up the stairs! I hear them thudding against the door! They're coming! They're still coming!
I got linked from SCP Reddit. As a fan of HP Lovecraft and SCP I LOVE this video. You guys know SCP right? Also how about making more ads for HPL insurance but for housing insurance (Bigger on the inside? We can take care of that!), Life Insurance (We can replace souls if you got your soul sucked), car insurance (Trapped in roadway to hell? We can tow you back!), Travel insurance (They release the Kraken, we release the money!) and even dealing with secret societies and govt (GOI knocking on your front door? Our agent will talk to them!) Keep the good job!
+GigawingsVideo Thanks for the support. SCP fans will love the horror/comedy feature we have in development. Please subscribe to the channel for updates as we are going full-bore on this project in 2016.
Joseph Nanni I do wanna see more HPL Insurance commercials. *House Insurance (Bigger on the Inside, or it gains sentience? We can talk it down.) *Life Insurance (We can replace your soul, if you’ve lost it to Hastur) Y’know, that kind of things. Please bring more.
Does it cover mental health treatment? I'm directing a production of "The King in Yellow" for my local community theater, and that second act is an unrelenting nightmare (also very difficult from a directorial angle).
Genius! By the way, I'm living in Paris near the rue d'Auseil There is a viol player who can't stop playing for strange reasons.will my rates be important? Is there an insurance for tindalos hounds pillaging my fridge? To have a fridge without angles is so expensive...
Hello, HPL Insurance? Yeah the fire pit in my backyard has some strange colorful goop, I don't even know what color it its, its like its out of space or something.
Honestly, how am I expected to be afraid when HPL won't describe any of his indescribable horrors? Just saying it's so scary it can drive people insane isn't very descriptive. Lazy customer support lady had a point there.
Look, I’m a year late but, think of it this way. A creature/being from space, it shouldn’t be anything similar to anything in earth since creatures on earth are weird looking for adapting to the environment around them. These gods/creatures are meant to be abstract from appearance since they aren’t meant to be animals and humans. It’s a hard process but I understand what hp lovecraft meant when he uses the description “ indescribable”. And the only creatures on earth that are best lovecraftion are mostly sea creatures, even land creatures or bacteria can be some examples.
Hi, I love your video. I don't know if you noticed that there's a large group of Lovecraft fans in China and they would love this video. I wonder if I could get your permission to put it on China's largest ACG video website Bilibili? It would be a great joy for all the fans in China. If you are interested, the address is www.bilibili.com, there's tons of Cthulhu related content and more.
"Ma'am, you'll have to describe it. Calling it indescribable doesn't help."
Genius.
Thank you!
He said "Hastur" out loud. Here come the Byahkees.
"Ma'am...ma'am, you're chanting again. HEY! DOES ANYONE HERE SPEAK ANCIENT ARABIC?" ("She's just asking if she qualifies for the cultist discount.") "Well are you a recent convert, or have you been pressed into servitude by a senior master or perhaps the Ancient Ones themselves? Cuz if you just jumped ship after our mind inevitably broke down as a result of witnessing the oncoming fall of mankind and the deathof all that you hold dear, I'm afraid you'll have to wait in line like everybody else."
I would buy the insurance just to get that "handy reference guide"!
It's heavy...with forbidden knowledge.
I'm here to report flying polyps in my backyard
Did you protect with Elder Sign: ruclips.net/video/BWT07iRvI9M/видео.html
"calling it indescribable doesn't help"
It's even funnier if you get the references to his work.
I think it's likely only funny if you get the references. Without context, I'd imagine it would probably look like a confusing and very wordy parody.
True. But we care about the core. Meta for life!
I wish I had HPL insurance back when I had yoggoth infestation. It got so bad I had to burn all my clothes,furniture, and bathe in bleach and tomato sauce. . After I moved away the landlord had to burn the apartment duplex. My neighbors at the time were also infested and ended up in a psychiatric hospital (they claimed to have "brain eggs"). Luckily I had the seal of the Nyrolothotep inscribed on the inside of my scull and wore the medallion of the Old Ones. It could have been worse I guess. Nobody but me knows the nightmarish unspeakable horrible unamable dark things that happened there. They were in the walls. Put your ear to the walls and you can hear them by the millions multiplying coming out at night to nibble a toe or ear that wasn't covered completely with my trusty Cthulhu blankie.
Not crazy.....yet
P.S. Don't go to the basement at Belmont Mansion....there's something....wrong down there.
+Just Ben Did you fill out the claim form correctly?
Joseph Nanni I filled it out in red crayon. I probably should have just used my own blood.
+Just Ben
Don't you just hate it when that happens? They say that during the infestation at my old place, my neighbour ate his own face; our landlady was wise enough to shoot herself before things went quite that far. Luckily I was already completely mad beforehand, so it was fairly smooth sailing on my end. My resident Ultharians helped out quite a lot, too. Though I wish they'd make their kills more quickly and with less noise...
You mean Nyarlathotep?
*Breaks through the concrete in the Belmont Mansion Basement and sees a dead skeleton with symbols in red all over the body, and the wiring in a symbol circle*
Me: Well there’s your problem, you had either a modern cultist, a CoC roleplayer, or a agent from the Laundry Division buried down here. It’s hard to tell though.
*Starts hearing scratching in the walls, knowing darn well that the basement walls weren’t hollow.*
Me: Uh, oh.
This is the best video on youtube
+alejandro de la torre abadía Thanks...we agree.
Holy shit, why only 7k views? This is great!
+Mr. Nymphetamine I know right. Thanks! It has only been live since December but Necronomicon is still our most popular with almost 450K and Elder Sign lags behind at 192K. But as long as people like yourself keep watching we'll keep making them.
You never have to be worried when insurance companies say it was an 'Act of God'
Lol.
I'd like to report a Shoggoth infestation in my basement.
The pit of the shoggoths!
+Stefan Travis How many sir?
Joseph Nanni They are without number. The thousandfold spawn of a thousandfold abominations.
You're going to need to be more specific.
Joseph Nanni Specif...? Um.
Their aspect bears a curious repulsion, suggestive of both octopus and vulpine, yet infinitely...
Awesome to behold, their memory still makes me shudder to recall in this asylum where I have been unjustly confined owing to certain malicious rumours...
Their profile is such to make men of affairs quake, and men of science doubt their principles. Only a mage of ancient antiquity, his brain steeped in fumes of quicksilver, could make appliance of quill to parchment to describe...
Er...They're moving up the stairs! I hear them thudding against the door! They're coming! They're still coming!
There we go.
I got linked from SCP Reddit. As a fan of HP Lovecraft and SCP I LOVE this video. You guys know SCP right?
Also how about making more ads for HPL insurance but for housing insurance (Bigger on the inside? We can take care of that!), Life Insurance (We can replace souls if you got your soul sucked), car insurance (Trapped in roadway to hell? We can tow you back!), Travel insurance (They release the Kraken, we release the money!) and even dealing with secret societies and govt (GOI knocking on your front door? Our agent will talk to them!)
Keep the good job!
+GigawingsVideo Thanks for the support. SCP fans will love the horror/comedy feature we have in development. Please subscribe to the channel for updates as we are going full-bore on this project in 2016.
Joseph Nanni I do wanna see more HPL Insurance commercials.
*House Insurance (Bigger on the Inside, or it gains sentience? We can talk it down.)
*Life Insurance (We can replace your soul, if you’ve lost it to Hastur)
Y’know, that kind of things. Please bring more.
Does it cover mental health treatment? I'm directing a production of "The King in Yellow" for my local community theater, and that second act is an unrelenting nightmare (also very difficult from a directorial angle).
For real?
Genius! By the way, I'm living in Paris near the rue d'Auseil There is a viol player who can't stop playing for strange reasons.will my rates be important? Is there an insurance for tindalos hounds pillaging my fridge? To have a fridge without angles is so expensive...
+presence3 There's a higher premium...but yes.
+Joseph Nanni (Bad Advice for Good Times) How unfair. Comme c'est injuste.
Yes, my maggots, get this insurance.
Endorsed by Cthulhu.
00:37. Give that guy a throat mint for his raspy voice. ;P
We did.
Love the free reference guide with padlock! 🤣
The key comes with the enhanced plan.
Amazing. I love all of the allusions
+michael koger Thanks Michael!
Hello, HPL Insurance?
Yeah the fire pit in my backyard has some strange colorful goop, I don't even know what color it its, its like its out of space or something.
Sadly, not included in the coverage.
Yaaay! I love these sketches, please keep up the great work :D
+William Hill (Darkhill32) Thanks William.
I've been waiting years for another one of these! Great work as always!
+tetrisclock Wait no longer! Thanks for watching.
Isn't a creature being "undiscribable" a necessity per se to be covered by HPL Insurance?
Please read the fine print.
Be careful what you let in
This is fucking golden.
All right! More, please!
+Jeffrey Sommer We're working on it. Please subscribe and keep watching.
Man, I hate when that happens...
failed my sanity check again.
We all did.
Haha, loved it!
Hahahaha. That was funny. Great job!
Thank you!
Great work as always!
+Erica Wang Thanks Erica!
Can you help me with those rats in the walls?
Where can I get the sheet music for the outtro.
Do shoggoths get insurance as well when they try to live a normal life? Just a question.
That's the plan.
Just checking for a friend.
oh my god this is perfect
+The Phantom Safety Pin Thank you!
WTF is he saying the name of the Yellow King?!
Irresponsible
Will this cover alien abduction or should I keep my alien abduction insurance as well?
Sorry, no. That's additional coverage.
Hunnie it's daytime!!!
fantastic
+ThePolishSpartan Thanks...fellow Pol!
+Joseph Nanni (Bad Advice for Good Times) now will my rates raise or lower in like arhkam, dunwich, or innsmouth?
+ThePolishSpartan Oh the New England premiums are astronomical.
Awesome!
+MaxWriter Thanks Max!
❤️
so what number do i call to get a quote.
+DJl3iohazord 6 666 6666
sehr gut!
+Frater Tyskos Danke.
Bwahahaha. Love it.
+Christopher 'Vulpine' Kalley Thanks!
one of those deep ones broke into my house and stole my water am I insured?
No. Sorry.
Ok. Thanks tho
stole your water... lol that's very good
1:53 truth
will you cover my 1974 chevelle?
Is it Lovecraftian in any way?
@@JosephNanni Hopefully it will be when I'm done rebuilding it.
01:40. Is that the discount not-Necronomicon? XD XD XD
Sure is.
Honestly, how am I expected to be afraid when HPL won't describe any of his indescribable horrors? Just saying it's so scary it can drive people insane isn't very descriptive. Lazy customer support lady had a point there.
I know, right.
Look, I’m a year late but, think of it this way.
A creature/being from space, it shouldn’t be anything similar to anything in earth since creatures on earth are weird looking for adapting to the environment around them. These gods/creatures are meant to be abstract from appearance since they aren’t meant to be animals and humans. It’s a hard process but I understand what hp lovecraft meant when he uses the description “ indescribable”. And the only creatures on earth that are best lovecraftion are mostly sea creatures, even land creatures or bacteria can be some examples.
Can I come in for an interview ??
Sure... send over your resume.
What happens when you say hastur out loud?
Depends what tone-of-voice you use.
I wanted to like, but its 666 likes.
Best comment.
And What was their phone number again?
666-6661
#2018LovecraftianRedpill
I want it
Hi, I love your video. I don't know if you noticed that there's a large group of Lovecraft fans in China and they would love this video. I wonder if I could get your permission to put it on China's largest ACG video website Bilibili? It would be a great joy for all the fans in China. If you are interested, the address is www.bilibili.com, there's tons of Cthulhu related content and more.
Thanks. We don't allow reposting but I sincerely appreciate the offer.
@@JosephNanni Well, thanks for your reply, hope you could make more good stuff like this.
I really like the idea, but I think the pace could've been picked up slightly.