I love this. I initiated these conversations when my ex wanted to see each other again and glad I did because we agreed that we love each other, but want different things. We tried our relationship 3 times and kinda avoided these talks until we would get to the power struggle phase, take space then come back again without speaking a word of what happened and our differences. The school definitely helped me to be able to initiate the important talks upfront before we tried another time. In the end, it was better to remain friends rather than be in a dynamic where we have a different outlook on what we wanted our relationship to look like. He's a DA and has been a close friend for many years and now we are friends, but with more love and understanding of one another. ❤
Thais! I love what you said about not falling into the trap of dating someone's potential and to date their behaviours and what you're seeing in front of you. I feel that in the past I've always fallen into this pattern of seeing someone's potential and hoping that things get better because they said they were going to do this and this, but I would just be left feeling disappointed. So that resonated a lot with me and I've learned throughout the years to not just listen to their words but discerning whether it's congruent to their actions or not.
Thank you Thais! Could you do one for when a DA realizes they lost you and wants another opportunity to “show that they can be a good companion”. Although I think these questions may work as well.
Fantastic video. Great questions with brief explanations/examples. It's a good refresher for those who have done the course inside the school too. Thank you ❤
5 extra questions not timestamped to ask the potential partner: 6. 5:47 What do they expect a committed relationship to look like? 7. 6:10 Are there any past relationship patterns they think they might repeat? 8. 6:43 What are their biggest triggers in relationships? 9. 7:05 What are important needs for them in a relationship to have met? 10. 7:36 How are we going to handle conflict together?
This is golden. The big issue with these questions is that being insecure means you're probably not ready to answer some of those questions for yourself, or to make it a red line if your potential partner is not ready to answer the questions.
I’m finding that it’s getting easier to believe in myself and have the courage to do what it takes to get a healthy relationship. The key is to realize you’re in relationships ultimately to get value for yourself, it sounds obvious, but I’ve been blind to it for a long time.
@@sethtenrec the thing is... for instance codependence is a --- maladaptive, learned --- way to get value for yourself... or at least it is until you reprogram core beliefs such as unworthiness out of yourself. The same is true of all the self-sabotaging patterns of the various insecure attachment styles. That's what this channel is all about, I believe.
@@carrievaleriaalvarez2198 True, and yet interdependence, or co-regulation, is something to be desired. It’s a gray area between healthy and unhealthy relationship actions and skills.
we have scholarship opportunities available as well! Please email info@personaldevelopmentschool.com and ask about scholarships :) We'd love to see you in the school ❤
Hi Thais, But what if I sincerely don’t know what I want? For ex. I really can’t tell if I want more children or not, I feel like it would honestly kind of depend on the person I’m with: with some people it might be a yes and with others not. Sometimes I just might not know what I want and would have to “feel it out”… What do you do in a situation like that? How do you communicate that?
PDS has a course where it helps us get to know our wants, needs, ourselves. I started by noticing me, what I hear/see and like about others, their relationships, then I journaled it to keep track and eventually know me better instead of just going along with what everyone else likes.
I am 25 he is 26 and i have a feeling he might not want children. Should i be worried and adress this non-negotiable or shouldnt i worry because i am so young?
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I love this. I initiated these conversations when my ex wanted to see each other again and glad I did because we agreed that we love each other, but want different things. We tried our relationship 3 times and kinda avoided these talks until we would get to the power struggle phase, take space then come back again without speaking a word of what happened and our differences. The school definitely helped me to be able to initiate the important talks upfront before we tried another time. In the end, it was better to remain friends rather than be in a dynamic where we have a different outlook on what we wanted our relationship to look like. He's a DA and has been a close friend for many years and now we are friends, but with more love and understanding of one another. ❤
Who cares what his profession is? I’d look at that.
Thais! I love what you said about not falling into the trap of dating someone's potential and to date their behaviours and what you're seeing in front of you. I feel that in the past I've always fallen into this pattern of seeing someone's potential and hoping that things get better because they said they were going to do this and this, but I would just be left feeling disappointed. So that resonated a lot with me and I've learned throughout the years to not just listen to their words but discerning whether it's congruent to their actions or not.
Honesty loyalty and trust are non negotiable. I believe I have these with my wife of 17 years
❤
This is so good. I never considered these questions before committing to a relationship.
Thank you Thais! Could you do one for when a DA realizes they lost you and wants another opportunity to “show that they can be a good companion”. Although I think these questions may work as well.
@@CandanceIsMyNameexcellent point!
Fantastic video. Great questions with brief explanations/examples. It's a good refresher for those who have done the course inside the school too. Thank you ❤
you're welcome!
Thanks!
thank you!!
Excellent advise
5 extra questions not timestamped to ask the potential partner:
6. 5:47 What do they expect a committed relationship to look like?
7. 6:10 Are there any past relationship patterns they think they might repeat?
8. 6:43 What are their biggest triggers in relationships?
9. 7:05 What are important needs for them in a relationship to have met?
10. 7:36 How are we going to handle conflict together?
This is golden. The big issue with these questions is that being insecure means you're probably not ready to answer some of those questions for yourself, or to make it a red line if your potential partner is not ready to answer the questions.
I’m finding that it’s getting easier to believe in myself and have the courage to do what it takes to get a healthy relationship. The key is to realize you’re in relationships ultimately to get value for yourself, it sounds obvious, but I’ve been blind to it for a long time.
@@sethtenrec the thing is... for instance codependence is a --- maladaptive, learned --- way to get value for yourself... or at least it is until you reprogram core beliefs such as unworthiness out of yourself. The same is true of all the self-sabotaging patterns of the various insecure attachment styles. That's what this channel is all about, I believe.
@@carrievaleriaalvarez2198 True, and yet interdependence, or co-regulation, is something to be desired. It’s a gray area between healthy and unhealthy relationship actions and skills.
Love these questions provided, they act as a nice blue print to assess relationships!
Wow this is great for anyone in this predicament!
Such a great topic!
Excellent. Thanks for great content! Happy New Year
You're welcome! Happy New Year to you as well ❤
This one was so good! I can't wait til I can afford to take all of these classes!
we have scholarship opportunities available as well! Please email info@personaldevelopmentschool.com and ask about scholarships :) We'd love to see you in the school ❤
Really good. ❤
Thank you for this
Thank you! ❤
you're welcome ❤
Very helpful. Thank you! 😊
you're welcome :)
Thanks ❤
you're welcome ❤
Daily videos Thais Ty ❤
you're welcome ❤
Hi Thais,
But what if I sincerely don’t know what I want?
For ex. I really can’t tell if I want more children or not, I feel like it would honestly kind of depend on the person I’m with: with some people it might be a yes and with others not.
Sometimes I just might not know what I want and would have to “feel it out”…
What do you do in a situation like that? How do you communicate that?
PDS has a course where it helps us get to know our wants, needs, ourselves. I started by noticing me, what I hear/see and like about others, their relationships, then I journaled it to keep track and eventually know me better instead of just going along with what everyone else likes.
@@AliValentine143
I always ask a potential mate if they like dogs. Woof !
🐶🐶
I wonder if Thais’s arm is tired from hitting all these nails on the head 🔨
🤣
I am 25 he is 26 and i have a feeling he might not want children. Should i be worried and adress this non-negotiable or shouldnt i worry because i am so young?
I think it's ok to address that, regardless of age.
You should definitely worry
Thanks guys, he's in the past ^^
gurl i’m 18 and i ask dudes if they want kids 😂 ur def not too young
And no finance question?
I think that could go under the question "What are my standards?"
Dude she’s not going to go into the nitty gritty examples
Your financial questions could (and maybe should) be considered non-negotiables as well.
My biggest non negotiable is the woman has to be able to open up and be vulnerable w/me so I can meet her needs and so they get their needs met.
Bigger non negotiable than not cheating? Not stealing? (I think you’re referring to standards, non-negotiables are bigger than that)
I think he's referring to what he said he's referring to. This is his life