How To Manage Getting Triggered & Angry - 5 Simple Steps
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2018
- Don't Forget to SUBSCRIBE!
---
We all get triggered.
It doesn’t matter how emotionally intelligent or emotionally mature you are, there are times that things get under our skin, get our blood boiling, or just make us plain angry.
And contrary to popular belief, anger is neither a bad or good emotion - like all others, it's just an emotion.
But it’s how we deal with our anger and how we respond to it that can be used for good or evil.
In this episode of Good For Me TV today, we're going to talk about 5 ways that emotionally intelligent people respond to their anger so that they feel in charge of it, instead of letting it be in charge of them.
SPEAK & FEEL HEARD: A 2 power hour workshop where you'll learn effective, powerful & assertive communication skills - Info HERE: speakandfeelheard.com/
-----
FREE 10 MINUTE GUIDED MINDFULNESS AUDIO EXERCISE: courses.juliakristina.com/Fre...
Join my GOOD FOR ME GROUP on Facebook: GoodForMeGroup.com
____
LET'S STAY CONNECTED:
♥ FACEBOOK: FB.me/JuliaCounsellor
♥ INSTAGRAM: / juliacounse. .
♥WEBSITE: juliakristina.com
♥BLOG: juliakristina.com/blog
![Eminem - Houdini [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/22tVWwmTie8/mqdefault.jpg)
Which of these strategies are you most looking forward to using next time you feel triggered or angry?
Julia Kristina Counselling "Psychobabble" to be curious!
Effective but strange looking. ( I hope It will not be frowned upon in the the heat of the moment )And Halt'd those are great tools are great tools to use together.
Julia Kristina Counselling How to overcome social anxiety,may it be root to anger and emotional blowouts..THANK you from summerHOT Trondheim Norway with HUGS🌻🌷🌻
Let us know how it goes after you use them Felicia!
hugs back to you Inger!
To have understanding of what the other person is experiencing
I have been demonized for walking away when I feel triggered. Called selfish, accused of running away from my problems, labeled as narcissistic, unable to own up to things. Really it all boils down to me knowing I'm emotional and need to step away but not one person in my life recognizes this.
I think I understand both sides of this- lately, I’m in reactive mode so often and I know the best solution at the moment for everyone is for me to walk away- before damage occurs (on multiple levels). I also know of 2 people very close to me who use this response anytime they dislike the argument, confrontation, or *the feeling that they’re having or that the other person is having/ sharing/ displaying, so they stonewall (shut down) or walk away from everything. There are times and situations when this is called for. However, most likely, it’s not every time. At least sometimes (ideally, most of the time), you need to explain that you can’t discuss this/ argue about ____ right now, but that you will be willing to get into it and have the discussion/ address/ respond at a later time- try to be specific about when you will be able to, and also telling them what you will need from them so that you will not get triggered to flee (ie. if they’re just yelling at you, or bombarding you with what they’re upset about, explain that you are willing to discuss, but they have to respect your boundaries- no yelling at me, or giving a long list of my shortcomings, or whatever it may be). Two people in my life who I’m very close to will just walk up and, or walk away and shut down the whole discussion/ argument, like “I’m not doing this.” They usually do not plan on coming back to the topic of discussion/ argument, saying that there’s no point in talking about it ever, because “(you or whoever or whatever) is never going to change.” THAT sort of walking away is not okay. THAT is refusal to deal with problems. THAT response says, “you/ my relationship with you is not worth the discomfort of having this discussion/ argument.” Now, it may be something that you simply disagree with them about and discussing/ arguing about it is not going to change your mind, however- if you haven’t ever been willing to hear them out, then you can’t really say that. Still, if it’s a familiar topic, something that you’re fully aware of their angle and you know that it will most likely trigger you, then it’s important to let them know that you feel that arguing about this issue is not worth the rift it creates in your relationship, and you believe that it’s best for the sake of your relationship to just agree to disagree- at least for now. People DO change, maturity, life experiences, other peoples’ influences, can impact people at different times in their lives in a way that arguing most likely will not. In the end, isn’t your relationship worth more than agreeing on this topic? Let them know that you value them more than “xyz” and you hope they understand that enough to move past that discussion. But, just walking away with absolutely no willingness to talk at all, will not work in a relationship, and over time, stonewalling will kill the relationship. Nor will the reverse-attempting to bludgeon someone to death with your side of the argument and not respecting their attempt to reasonably respond with, “agree to disagree” will also have negative, and eventually detrimental effects.
That sounds like me. I have been labelled an abuser or stone walling or I shut down and I become flustered.
Depends how long you run away for and do you say I’m
Walking away
Do you explicitly say I'm walking away, I need a break to calm down?
Something to that affect anyway.
Merely walking away without telling the other person what your doing, feels dismissive and enables you to say what you need to say, but not allowing the other to respond. That's not OK.
Me too i step away to be clearer what is happening.Feel triggers so i feel dissy and most go .Many think am ignoring nu iam not .
I always cry when I'm angry, and people don't take me seriously and say I'm just being childish and throwing a tantrum, but actually it's my go to response to anger because I don't wanna hurt other people, but if I say what I'm feeling no one listens
I can relate.
Jan8,2023 yes so nice to read your response when triggered by crying. I do the same because I don’t
want to hurt others.
First, strive to understand before seeking to be understood. (One of my favourite quotes.
You speak with great enthusiasm and conviction. Your body language and facial expressions are living, breathing, vibrant punctuation. I would bet my cabin that you speak from serious experience about working on your anger management! You are so gifted with a great abundance of emotional energy. I think it is near certain you had to work hard to learn to harness and channel that energy and to be available to help us do the same.
Enough of my speculating, to get to the point...your knowledge, insight, compassion, and enthusiasm are treasured!
I'm so glad the video connected with you Erik - And yes, absolutely I've done a lot of my own inner work to get to where I am today - not perfect, by any means, but can handle what life has for me most days.
You are appreciated and Erik you reflection was an awesome highlight of this video. Thanks
Dude she’s not going to sleep with you. Jesus Christ Erik, chill out.
@@Jay-hp6pu I hope it is your good fortune to choose to give a lot of attention to the incredible videos Julia Kristina provides for us. Her instruction was instrumental in my getting through an overwhelming relationship challenge back during the time I sent her my heart felt appreciative comment above. I hope you have an equally powerful benefit. I must confess, I do not understand the reason for trying to cheapen my gift of a few words of appreciation to this great teacher. Julia Kristina is brilliant, compassionate, infectiously enthusiastic, and she deserves to be honored for the generous gift she creates for us!
@@erikkohl Well said, Erik. Your reply to a cheap comment is full of dignity and integrity and sincerity.
"What we want when we are angry is to FEEL heard" This is pure Gold! As a mom (of 6) this is pure gold! Thank you
when someone is rude, sarcastic or attacking me of course I will defend myself . It's hard not to argue back if they are saying something to provoke . Also, It is built up resentment over time from feeling disrespected, lonely, etc. also when I let people slide but when they keep doing it over time I get triggered to get really angry. Especially when I coomunicate how I feel that person blames you for having the problem ( tell you are touchy or sensitive, no control) and they don't try to admit themselves. There is pride from other person. Advice pleas thanks
Same experienced that now
Hurt people hurt people. Like my dad
Joshua Robinson I like this saying 💕
Healed people heal people. I heard that the other day. I think there's much truth to it.
Same with mine
No, bullies hurt people! We are hurt, yet we give grace and understanding for their decades of abuse of us (when dealing with narcissists). It's about self responsibility, learn from mistakes, forgive and live. If people continue to bulldoze your boundaries, bully/trigger you and refuse to grow, the only option is to wish them well and walk away. After years of feeling it must be you and not feeling good enough, get far away from their gaslighting and altered version of reality and you'll heal. Your sanity depends on it. Its time to speak truth and call out toxicity for what it is. They have been enabled to thrive because we are 'so sweet and never say a bad word about anyone' 2020 vision, its time for truth, evil has an agenda. Love brings liberty, God bless.
We can break the cycle 💞
I pushed him away. One way I realized that I had to work on my overreaction. On the other hand, he was not the right one for me.
carl jam I recently did the same thing. Now I’m glad I did because I would rather be a bitch than be too understanding again in my life and deal with liking someone who didn’t give the same level of respect.
Love the HALTD spot check!
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Discouraged
I'm so thankful I found you. You speak logic when I'm illogical, with NO judgments! I so appreciate that you give us all valuable tools for healing and dealing in this life we're living! You've helped me move lots of junk holding me back out of my way to find some peace within myself. What a rare jewel you are, Julia Kristina!!
Thanx A Big Bunch 😄
HALTED - you could put an E in there, and call it EMPTY. Emptiness in our lives makes us more susceptible to over-reactions. Do you agree? BTW, thank you for these vids.
Could be empty of things we want but full of stuff we don't?
Outstanding information, Julia. I like the HALTD acronym!. It's so important to understand how to avoid jumping into the immediate, go-nuclear "reaction" mode in these situations and make a more respectful and intelligent response.
Thank you for your site... I'm so pleased to have found a bright and intelligent person with helpful solutions to our everyday emotional obstacles..... very positive!
That is correct..everyone gets triggered..some are just better at hiding, controlling it. 🙄
I couldn’t have watched this at a better time. I am having to submerge myself into a new surrounding of people professionally and let’s just call it all “growing pains”. I have been depleted of energy the last week because I feel like I spend more time trying to understand personalities without getting my feelings hurt and not hurting theirs then I do working. This video is just reassuring to me that I can still be in control of who I am and what I can do with strong emotion in general. Thank you so much!
Mercedes - I'm so grateful this connected with you - thanks for taking the time to say so, and what a powerful insight that is!
Mercedes Nguyen isn’t it stressful having to deal with all the drama and still be able to work hard at our job?! It’s draining having to handle all the different temperaments. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m back at junior high dealing with all the childish behavior. I especially love the ones who ignore or don’t acknowledge you. Sadly it’s usually my own gender that I’ve had the most problems with.
sandramA heynemana I wouldn’t call it drama. I intentionally avoided that word because my point was to acknowledge that I am doing my best to come from a place of understanding and so are they. It doesn’t mean I am not triggered. I just have to find ways to understand myself and them and sometimes it takes a lot of energy. I am sure it will be for a short season, hence growing pains! I am sorry you’ve had to deal with drama. What I’ve appreciated from my colleagues is that they communicate well. They are mature and emotionally intelligent enough to confront me if there is an issue. That shows me they are trying too! Good luck at your place of work!
Mercedes Nguyen then you are blessed! Fortunately I am retired.
Appreciated you highlighting, "I can stand in my power and Be Empowered"!
Excellent tips! I was just talking about this yesterday. It seems that people these days are so much more easily triggered. It’s important to take a step back and evaluate the situation before you react!
Yes! It's so empowering when we get good at responding rather than reacting.
I definitely react instead of respond and so does my boyfriend. Needless to say, we have a dangerously explosive relationship.
😊
Anger is a response to having ones shame triggered. Inner child work is key to managing shame triggers and reducing reactivity. But also an understanding of systems theory also helps. Murray Bowen, Jerry Wise and Brene Brown speak well on these topics as well.
I find your videos very valuable and helpful and often share them with friends and family. I really like your hair in this video. Very flattering!
Thanks again Julia.
Just to share what helps me on the "I statements".. I find it easier to step away, get it together, and write what I feel and share it with the person. Most of the time, I can't tell people on their face that they've hurt me, so writing works.
This is very helpful for in the moment stepping back and assessing. What do you do when you're triggered by a past memory? Each time I do a certain thing, i hear my ex's voice berating me about it. I have a whole fake convo in my head telling them to mind their own business but I get angry all over again. The next time I'm doing that thing, there's that memory fresh in my mind & those words on auto-play. It's exhausting.
I love your work! Thank you for all your times helping me and thousands of people like me getting through the days.
The video is really helpful for me, Julia, I appreciate your work here. I have struggled with this problem over years, without satisfying outcome for me in interactions with certain people who trigger my triggers. You described emotions very well with examples and explained a purpose of empathy very clearly why to try to do it (compassion, empathy vs. justification a behaviour- that was really my problematic point of view). Now I think I am more prepared how to deal effectively with those kind of emotional situations in everyday life. Thank you very much. Wish you the best.
You are right. That enlightenment stuff is BS we tell ourselves to not have to admit to it cuz we think it is wrong. You're so sweet yet grounded and ya tell it like it is but compassionately. Love it. And you're right about stepping back. It's good to distance ourselves and take a big breath indeed.
Ps your help is invaluable, I'm going thru a very rough patch (overseas) with abusive ppl and just hearing you talk SANELY, this helps a LOT, I'm so glad I can connect with INTELLIGENT N COMPASSIONATE ppl who make SENSE here, I find it easier to connect with the right ppl here than locally, thx for helping!
Thank you! Your videos are always so helpful. I just love your enthusiasm and passion for helping others. You are such a beautiful person inside and out Julia!
Good morning Julia 🌞 it seems like this video was made just for me 😁Thank you so much for your free content and the Shift Society 🤙☺❤
Great advice. I pride myself on being a rationalist but anger does seem to hijack my thought process. The second I'm aware of that I regain a lot of control and make a conscious decision to be healthy and efficient in my thoughts.
Just come across your channel, its fabulous, easy to comprehend, I would recommend it to everyone!
I realised after watching this great video, that I feel very vulnerable these days. How to deal with this? Myself, contact with others, traps, decisions etc.
99 % of my triggers relate to sexual abuse and being a victim human trafficking at age 17 that became a repressed memory until 2014 .
I am an intersexed female who is mistaken for being transgender , I've been bullied my whole life for being too feminine and looking queer . It's kind of funny because I am asexual and have no interest but people judge looks .
I took cognitive behavioral therapy and have been employing all these strategies over the past 4 years after being diagnosed BPD.
It's made a world difference 💜
Thank you for sharing 🙂
I think you’re beautiful. :-)
Kaythia Star hey there. I’m not borderline but I’ve used counseling and I live in a small town with not really any therapists. I got online and used BetterHelp to find a therapist and they even offer financial aid discounted prices if you ask for it. It’s helped a lot for me especially with the discount. Good luck.
I needed this omg, it’s your videos that’s gone push me through it. Thank u wow
You got this♡
The first strategy-taking a break and not immediately responding to something that angers me-has really helped my co-parenting relationship with my ex. When I wait to respond to a triggered text until a moment when I’m calm rather than lashing back, it helps get to the root of the concern more quickly, and I’m able to communicate so much more effectively with my ex when I wait until I’m calm to respond. I have to remind myself, “I don’t have to respond in this moment. It’s okay to take a break from the conversation and come back when we’re both more calm.” It truly works!
Great advice as usual. Always enjoy your videos.
Grateful it connected Sandra - and thanks again for taking the time to say so!
Thanks for this video julia it really helped me on how to relieve my anger or manage it effectively. Im always a type of person who would get pissed off easily or blow up on someone without realizing it or when they are telling me bad things i just try to ignore it but sometimes that doesnt help
Thank you!!
I’m so glad I found you. Please make a video on dealing with people with different mindset and them putting their beliefs on you.
Hi Julia! This is my first time checking out your channel. I have been on a spiritual journey your videos useful. I know and see from my paternal and family members patterns that co dependency is a major thing. And I said that before my journey was I wanted to get rid of those habits/growing from that. I found your videos help put things into perspective because I am the yes guy who tries to make everyone happy and I don’t like those habits. But thank you for making these!
Thanks Julia for your amazing video. It helps us to have tools to deal with emotions like anger, which is especially difficult when we feel vulnerable. Keep up the good work :)
This is the second video of yours I've watched, and it's SO good! A lot of your material really resonated with me, and I was happy to learn new things while at the same time be able to acknowledge that I already do some of the things. I did a quick google search to see if you had a book out. I couldn't find any, but I hope someday in the future you'll write one!
I am thankful for all of these videos, very helpful
Wow, i totally needed to hear this. Thank you..i subbed to your channel. Thank you for making these videos
Thanks for the reminder
Thanks again for some solid advice and great acronyms..
Thanks alot Julia ❤❤
Where have you been. I am originally from Africa. I can’t say enough to thank you for helping me/us dear sister!!
Thank you Julia, great practical advice. To implement straight away.
Thank you for these videos Julia
thank you, i found this channel. This is so inspiring
Love it thank you 🙏
I try to show understanding with my brother, but he is just relentless when releasing his hurt ego. He has ways of demeaning and slighting me. Forever I’ve try to just take it and be kind but it’s too much. He will never see his own behavior and how hurtful it is. Or he knows how hurtful it is and just continues because it makes him feel better. I give up, I can only stay away now. I’m only human. I’m not totally sure he is though.
The same kind of thing happens to me with my brother and it so frustrating
Hey Julia Kristina, I love your videos. Thank you for your work. Have you ever considered making a video about addiction recovery?
Thank you Julia! From experience in the workplace, the "I feel" statements don't work. It only escalates the situation to a whole new level. The other suggestions however, do work 👍
I literally had this anger situation recently so i just come upto ur videos for acknowledgement ❤❤
Good information to use, thanks, and even tho the other person demands in rage tone of voice that you don't walk away to calm down just walk away!!
Thank you, for the great advice on how to deal with anger! I wish that I had seen this video in the late 90's and early 2000's, when I was dealing with some mean and hateful people. In those day's my anger factor was high most of the time, leading, to, often excessive drinking and other methods of self destructive behavior.
Once again Juliana, the timing of this video hitting my RUclips feed is impeccable! My infamous ager inspired temper tantrums and the need to control them must have triggered a quantum reaction ending with this video I'm watching today 😉
Thank you for your insights. Its very helpful. What about once youve communicated your boundaries in a respectful way, and they still disrespect and mock you? I work with people that have toxic behaviors and its very difficult to be around them.
I have just found you... WHERE have u been??? I needed you like ages ago! LOL
AWESOME VIDEOS!!!!!
She's got a free webinar on Thursday! (I see you posted three days ago... I just found her, too!)
Check out her website!
tt.juliakristina.com/how-to-get-people-to-stop-treating-you-like-crap/
Very useful acronym! I use one hand to countdown the checklist.
Thank you! This is very helpfull
Great tips. Our triggers can be managed.
Thank you.
You are right on the point.
I love Ms Kristina
I am having trouble finding the downloads you reference. Could you please point me in the right direction? Your videos are amazing and I am so thankful I found you! Thank you for sharing your strength and wisdom!
This came to me in a time of need.
Thank you so much. This video came right on time as I have a very defensive attitude and I try my best to keep that under control but I’m not always successful on that. Me and my god sister we’re having a conversation about this. I admitted and apologized for my reaction on things and that I’m going to put more effort to work on this as she’s one of the people that triggers my anger and frustration. Thank you so much
Keana - This insight of yours is incredible! I'm so grateful this connected with you - thanks for taking the time to say so.
Frustration shouldn't be your reaction, your attitude should be defensive👍🙏🤔☑️
Your name is spelled the same as my daughter. Her first is Keana and middle Shondell . Yall have the same first name we dont no of anyone else who spells it the same until I seen your spelling.
This workshop (speak and feel heard) can I purchase it and rewatch it many times, is there a timeframe to watch it? Seriously love your content hun... thank you so much, you are doing such a great service for humanity.
@Julia Kristina your videos are amazing!
Being disrespected is my big trigger. Dealing with that is always a challenge.
Same here
You are such a calm minded person❤
I have this thing where I tend to catch others’ moods as if they’re contagious. Especially the negative ones, like anger.
I appreciate the tips on what to do when I feel it start, because I hate that adrenaline rush and what if I’m trying to eat something, alone, but the upset thoughts don’t let me enjoy my meal as well as if I was mindful and in the present.
This really happened to me last night... I totally blew it and did not take a moment... and all the aftermath followed... this video really makes so much sense
Sending love vibes your way ♡
God I really appreciate you being out there I have been working on my problems a long time I have heard halt never with the D but the one that struck me lonely I never think about it it was never in the equation but I always was big smile keep up the good work your patient always❤🌴🐊🌴🌻 I finally figured out how to get those downloads big smile😁👌
Lmao, I just called a friend of mine a king sized idiot...I was dying when you commented on using the I statements lol!
This vid is right on time.
I was run out of my previous hell hole apt by slum lord narcissistic monsters. It's a very long story but I am in my new place but the work load is making me angry and extremely frustrated. I have limited space in this new place, my kitchen is tiny and it's driving me nuts.
But it is a compilation of everything rolled up into one, and it's nerve wracking to say the least. Moving is a nightmare on roller skates and I was at the point of angry tears, ty for this vid. It's helping me to calm my ass down lol.
By the way I was "hangry." I got so busy I forgot to eat, so I was a grizzly bear.
You’re absolutely right Julia hurt people hurt people.
Honestly im here because although im quite calm and reserved in public and with friends n strangers, i find myself snapping at my family quite often and get angry so often qith them and i want to get better cus i feel like ill eventually start snapping at everyone.
Your speech is just useful to all now a days ...many of your logic glarringly related to Indian Philosophy ( Geeta ,Mahabharata ),thank you so much Julia .
Thanks for the vid😘 I am actually guilty for being triggered even towards the smallest things. This video really helps me manage more of my emotions
Wild guess...hungry, angry, lonely, tired or DIETING! LOL
Dieting is often disappointing and discouraging. :D
@@coleenparsons4905 it works better if you make it a lifestyle
My favorite an only podcast I watch miss Kristina
Awesome 🤗
I'm so glad I found this video
I think the key is to express your emotions without targeting it to others. If anything, one should target it towards situations. So when someone's being loud when you're trying to sleep, saying 'I can't believe I can't take a nap!' is better than saying 'I can't believe you are being loud again!'
When you are calm, you can ask them to change their ways, but I don't think it should be mixed with expressing momentarily emotions. This way you can avoid blaming others for how you feel, plus your communication becomes more self-reflective.
I agree. Sometimes just saying: "Can you please be quiet so I can take a nap" is as much as we need to say. Not all situations require letting the other person know how their behaviour is impacting us.
Hi. I’ve been listening you for a long time. I personally have been at celebrate recovery for four years. It is a 12 step program through a church. Everything that you teach resonates with me with the same stuff that I have learned at CR. Hurt people hurt people love that we also use I statements at Step CR. We are trying to stop blaming others and start excepting responsibility while at the same time expressing our hearts with eye statements. Thank you so much for all you’ve taught me. I’ve been listening to you for probably three years. I know a lady that just joined your shift society.
I need this...
I love your videos thankyou for the advice 🤗 (i just would like to see some colors on your video 😉) i'm glad i found your channel ☺️✨✨
Hi I am your fan ✨ I learnt so much from your videos
Hi, is the worksop online or needs to be on a venue?
Angry, lonely, tired, defeated, yup. Triggered lately, yup. 😞 So overwhelmed.
♡
You should add an S to HLTD. I noticed if I am getting sick but haven't felt the symptoms yet is probably the number one time I will rip somebody a new one & wonder "where did that come from?" I usually have the flu or cold show up within 2-6 hours.
Lots of fun when you weld plated metal & 10-15 minutes of exposure will give you the worst flu feeling for a day or two (metal fume poisoning)
You’re right Julia I just need to take a breath.
you haved help me n y fam an you dont even know it.. thanks for thisvid..
i shared this with my bro and the impposssible is now possible
0:03 🌬 Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences.
1:01 🤔 Emotionally intelligent people recognize the need to pause and assess before responding to anger triggers.
3:39 🛑 Anger often masks underlying emotions like hurt, sadness, or loneliness.
8:01 🍔 HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired - factors that can exacerbate anger reactions.
10:41 🚧 Disproportionate anger reactions may signal unresolved issues or unmet needs.
14:00 🤝 Showing understanding and empathy towards others, even when they trigger anger, can foster healthier interactions.
14:53 🗣 Using "I" statements effectively communicates feelings and concerns in confrontational situations.
Another thing empathy does is show us ourselves. It's hard for us to see our own flaws so stopping to put ourselves in their shoes can help us see that we’ve actually been in those shoes and haven’t always been at our best either.
Where are the free links for learning more? I never see any of them.
My guy friend hurt me with a couple of passive aggressive remarks. I got really angry and let him know how it hurt me. He apologized followed with guilt because of all the nice things he had previously done. At first I was confused but I didn’t back down about it being wrong with what he said.
Things are quiet now and I’m glad because I’m also an introvert and all this psychological struggle drains me and consumes precious time.
Plus I kind of threw a passive aggressive jab as I left the chat.... I know it was immature. I feel sorry for the fellow but I’ll be nice and next time I’ll ask him to elaborate on what he’s actually trying to say! Let’s not beat around the bush, let’s also respect boundaries.
I'm gonna paraphrase something I heard Jack Canfield say. Imagine the world/your reality as your computer screen, and it gives you feedback of how you should respond to the world. So when that person speaks to you in a way you resent, think about what you're doing to teach this person thats its accetable to speak to you that way.
I suppose it essentially means start to understand that these are your cues. This is your outer world manifesting to teach you what you need to work on within yourself. Don't think about why they're being the way they are, think about what you've done to create this situation. Turn the mirror on yourself.