The Amazing and Brutal Results of Zero Lies for 365 Days - Martha Beck
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- Опубликовано: 17 май 2024
- Dr. Martha Beck has been called “the best-known life coach in America” by NPR and USA Today. She holds three Harvard degrees in social science and has published nine non-fiction books, one novel, and more than 200 magazine articles. Her recent book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, was an instant New York Times Best Seller.
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Links and resources from this episode: tim.blog/2024/04/17/martha-beck/
Timestamps:
[00:00] Preview
[01:19] My contribution to teen atrociousness.
[01:47] Connecting with Boyd Varty.
[07:55] The path of not here.
[12:26] Finding joy in the body can save your life.
[17:18] The pregnant pause that ended Martha's obsession with intellect.
[23:25] Sensitivity and suffering.
[27:03] The year of living lie-lessly.
[32:59] An illuminating change of perspective.
[43:16] The path to taking a black belt integrity cleanse.
[47:06] Owning your right to say "No."
[51:24] Alternatives to "No" that remain honest.
[55:05] The language of candor.
[57:42] Ending relationships that have run their course.
[58:59] The Asian influence.
[01:03:08] Sweet or savory?
[01:04:19] Are you comfortable?
[01:06:13] Want vs. yearning and jumping the track.
[01:20:42] Rhino ruminations.
[01:22:06] The Tao Te Ching, Stephen Mitchell, and Byron Katie.
[01:34:20] America's Goethe?
[01:37:29] Weighing kryptonite against superpowers.
[01:46:04] Exploring the opposite of anxiety.
[01:55:03] Dick Schwartz and Internal Family Systems.
[02:04:47] Compassion even for the self's unwanted pieces.
[02:07:24] Favorite animal.
[02:12:12] Equine therapy.
[02:18:47] Selling the ranch.
[02:22:06] The monkey whisperer.
[02:24:10] Parting thoughts.
Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 900 million downloads and been selected for “Best of Apple Podcasts” three years running.
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Sponsors:
Momentous high-quality supplements: livemomentous.com/tim (code TIM for 20% off)
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I'm at a loss for words. More conversations with Martha, please. This is the most authentic conversation I have heard on your podcast. When she says the "light" has never left her, I believe it because I can feel it, she radiates it. Thank you for the opportunity to be a fly on the wall in such an important conversation!
💯 💯💯
Finally: Martha Beck!!! The wisest human I've met. So glad she's getting the platform she deserves. Every one of her books have saved my life.
I personally have made the changes to my language and found my truth which changed my life and victim mentality
Please be more precise. Thank you very much ❤
She exudes such young, vibrant energy. Love this lady. Her story about her surgery made me super emotional.
„My body correctly figured out that I was the biggest threat to my own health.“ - wow, this really hit me like a brick.
“There’s a level beyond the truth, it’s compassion, and it’s truer.”
❤
Thank you both very much Martha Beck and Tim Ferriss. Beautiful conversation.
Every athlete knows that we "play up" when we meet our match. Our excellence meets their excellence and a dance of intellectual/emotional joy ensues.
Martha and Tim: This was a 1+1=11 synchronistic interaction where all involved were elevated, and that includes us listeners and viewers fortunate enough to tune in - literally and figuratively. You asked, "When was the last time we felt joy in our body? Well, I felt joy in my mind AND body in this delightful, rising-tide conversation. Kudos to you for this mind/soul dance that was Exhibit A of why it's a blessing to be alive and to learn from two smart, talented, incredibly compatible individuals who were mutually lit up.
I told my friend back in 2012 that I wouldn't be going to her party because I didn't want to (I should perhaps have been more honest and said it was due to feeling social anxiety at the time). She sent me a really nasty email, ending: and don't bother coming to my funeral because you won't be welcome.
We had been friends for 30 years from age 16. I didn't dignify the email with a reply. In fact I have no regrets. I miss our friendship for what i had thought it was, but i accept it's better not to have it as it REALLY was.
I'm not sure what my point is, I just wanted to share this.
I don’t think it’s ok to not give an explanation. I know that the dysfunctional and unnecessary habit of always overexplaining oneself is often discussed in trauma circles. But as a friend we do carry some accountability and if it’s a birthday I feel we deserve an honest explanation if it’s a good friend and they can’t come to our party. There’s a good article called THE GOLDEN AGE OF BAILING. It explains that. You weren’t vulnerable with your friend and not honest about why you couldn’t come to the party. That’s not a friendship if there’s no safety to be honest. So I guess it wasn’t a good friendship in the first place. But I feel both of you can take responsibility for that.
@@marisaschmutz9034 I agree!
Wow!!! Amazing!!! My son’s birthday is May 10th and his name is Lucas (for bringer of light). When she was sharing her conversation with her son about the light and he said it was on May 10th I got tears. My son turns 17 next Friday ❤💛💚
May 10th is also Wayne Dyers birthday 😍
My favorite podcast so far this year!
Omg same! I am through the roof for having found this.
Martha Beck's insights on living with integrity are truly eye-opening. For entrepreneurs, applying her "year of living lie-lessly" concept can be transformative, especially when making tough business decisions. It's about aligning actions with core values, which not only fosters trust with clients and partners but also improves personal well-being.
Martha's story about the light she saw during her surgery brought tears to my eyes. Thank you, Tim for creating such a safe space for her (and for all your guests) to open up and share some of their most personal, intimate, sometimes beautiful and sometimes painful experiences. LOVE and authenticity should be at the core of everything we do. We're all in this journey together. Please bring Martha back for another conversation, thank you.
✨Only 28 minutes in and I’m captivated… here’s to those moments in life when the right message comes at the right time in multiples! ✨
Finished and just-WOW. Every yes! 💫
YES to tracking joy lions.
YES to practical experiments.
YES to compassion bonfires with internal nemeses.
YES to Martha’s yarfy gratitude.
And hell YES to liminal mischief!
Going to see my surgeon now about a left brain hemispherectomy. 😂
🙏🏻🔥🐒
🙏🏻🔥🐒
🙏🏻🔥🐒
18 minutes for me ❤
From Dante and Goethe to leaf blowers. This convo had it all, well done and thank you🙏
This is an outstanding conversation 😁
A delightful conversation. I listened to the podcast driving a few hundred miles. I was so moved I then pulled up this version, and watched the whole thing. I'd never heard of Martha until two days ago, and now she's one of my all-time favorite people to share virtual company with. Tim, you're an excellent interviewer, you bring out the best in people. Now I've got to go order Martha's book.
Tim Ferris’s work has inspired me over the last decade to become an independent adult who had to work against a lot of family dysfunction. The fear setting Ted Talk is the one that’s ingrained in my head. I am so fortunate I came across this conversation of his with Martha Beck. It got me out of a 2 week long rumination of doubt and fear and this is all I needed!
She is so inspiring!
Wow what an amazing conversation. It lit up my brain. Hope there are more- such a great synergy btwn Tim & Martha. It inspires me to look for relationships who are this synergistic to me in my own life- it seems next level. Thank you for generously sharing this convo.
The opposite of anxiety isn't calm, it's creativity. When you go into control mode, you're anxious. When you open yourself up to all possibilities, you're creative.
Such a great lesson, thank you Tim + Dr. Martha Beck
❤
What a fun conversation for a Sunday morning... "Tracking joy in the body" i love that.
Martha Beck is an inspiration, Her book “leaving the saints” was extremely helpful as I was leaving Mormonism and didn’t have the option to escape the city I was converted in. It helped in dealing with the dynamics of being public with my leaving as well. Looking forward to this one.
Tim, your podcast has been such an inspiration as well, since I started watching years ago, it has given me the courage to leave my 9-5 and start writing. It has also been filled with tools and education that have helped me in processing my own childhood trauma. Life saving work. Thank you both.
Your best guest and show yet. I’ve been tuning in for years
The truth will set you free 🙏
Tim, καταπληκτικός!!!! I don't know how you guys did this, but this podcast was full of joy! ❤❤
I love her energy.
Thank you Tim! I’ve been waiting for this meeting and it was beyond my expectations! 🙏🏻
I’m only 40:43 in so far (just past where you told about your son also seeing the light), and this is absolutely enlightening. Martha, you radiate joy and I’ve felt joy while watching this.
By nature I’m often skeptical of things like that, but I keep an open mind towards it, and your story opened my mind and heart even further.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, and for taking the journey you have taken to bring that wisdom and joy to us.
These splendid conversations is why I get excited to tune in, thanks Tim and Martha!
At ~ 1:51:20 Martha Beck speaks about switching from attempts at control to curiosity (in a fear context). This reminds me of Chris Voss who teaches to ask/say, "You must have a good reason for asking that?". Instead of seeking control Chris is seeking more information. Stephen Covey might say he seeks first to understand.
I will remember to be curious (in times of fear, in negotiations, in life, etc....).
God this is one of the best conversations I’ve heard. I love her
Great interview and conversation.
This was a powerful conversation!!!
Just cried my eyes out watching a podcast episode. That was unexpected... how's everybody else's day going?
This is absolutely fascinating. Loved this from beginning to end.
Such a great interview, & such a great interviewer. Wow, for his questions!
Loved this interview so much! Immediately afterward, I started listening to the audiobook, The Way of Integrity. It doesn't disappoint and I LOVE Dr. Martha Beck's narration.
Wow. I have not enjoyed a conversation as much as this one in an extremely long time. Thank you both for your transparency/honesty/encouragement.
I'm so thankful for hearing this conversation. Martha is lovely. ❤
Best thing I've heard all year 🔥... Well done, Tim ✨️
Fascinating very interesting conversation! Very wise lady!
Amazing energy , thank you for this conversation , it was brilliant, hope marta will come back for more ❤🙏🏾
Loved this. Please do more together! You work so well together ❤
Love this conversation, thanks to both of you ~🌟
Two of my favorite trackers. Loved this conversation. I learned so much. Thank you. My right brain is happy.
Such a wonderful conversation
Awesome conversation.
Wow this was really profound, insightful, and lovely ❤ Thank you both for sharing 🙏
Thank you, for this beautiful conversation.
Just love listening to Martha Beck. Have her book "Way to Integrity"...even have her on my vision-action board, as a reminder to integrate her concept of Integrity, in my life and relationships.
There’s a level beyond telling the truth, called compassion. Beautiful ❤
This is so fun and insightful it’s just delight
Thank you so much 😊
My favourite of your interviews yet, and I’ve loved so many of them! What a phenomenal, alive, inspiring human being Martha is! I’m definitely going to listen again and make notes! Oh and I’ve just ordered A Lion Trackers Guide to Life! Can’t wait to read it! I’m South African so particularly keen to read the work of a fascinating fellow countryman! (I’ll be watching your interview with Boyd next, downloaded and ready for my drive tomorrow!)
Thank you for a wonderful, honest, authentic and thoroughly interesting show, I’ve learnt so much by listening!
Conversation, connection and explorations between 2 of my favorite people 🙏🏻 This was a treat for the heart 💝 so expanding!!! Thank you both for sharing your genius, insights and care! Thanks you for all you go through being you, and then chosing to share the gems 💎 along the way as you track your path. Wow! 🙏🏻 Please, do have Martha on again Tim! This connection and exploration was fire 🔥
My favourite episode so far!
I love Martha she’s a gem.
So good, I went back to the beginning to listen a second time
This was just awesomeness stacked on top of awesomeness! Thank you for all that you do Tim, and thanks to Martha for doing the show. Lots of profound things have been said during this show. Aloha😘😄
This is my fav podcast of the year. Loved Martha and I only wish I would have known about her earlier!
Thank you this was very informative
What a genuinely incredible conversation. I don't know Tim Ferris' stuff well, but I know it a little, and I feel like the conversation with Martha Beck brings out things in him I've never seen. She is one of a kind. I bless the universe for the gift of her!
Tim, your neurodivergence is giftedness. Superdotação.
Martha, the best. Thank you for all those gems !!!
know what you know
feel what you feel
claim your right to joy
Excellent conversations ❤
Tim - when you talked about that mirror in the room and how you knew it was an eighth of an inch off, oh my. I definitely have the same brain propensity and have to turn it off pretty often. I crave symmetry, precision and alignment. It is a real curse a lot of the time. You helped me feel less alone in this. Thank you. Really enjoying this interview! You and Martha have great chemistry.
Now I want to listen to baboon alarm calls and it’s close to bedtime here. Loved this podcast! Joy to the max.
Just started watching this recording and stopped playing it to go order the book "Lion Trackers' ... can't hardly wait to have it arrive!!! Thank you!
Dammmmn, that was a fascinating conversation! Great to see two minds with a lot of horsepower bounce back from each other!
More please and thank you. - a Fan from South Africa
She is delightful. I love how animated and excited she is with LIFE! More Martha Beck, please!
Thank you 🙏
Wow.. what a fascinating person, she is.., what a tour de force!
I had a blast listening to this. Thank you both!, for the back & forth.
Now I'm going to listen to it again, :P , and most definitely check out some of the books you mentioned, throughout.
Kudos from Portugal
I have had such a connection with you Tim, 4 hr body. Changed my life, you still keep my energy supper engaged. I totally feel that you both may be “my tribe”. Getting book..Trickster? I have had a few experiences that may fit into Right Side…will be many show notes..I read Lion Tracker…because of your recommendation again a long time ago. Life lifting as well…will read again. Grateful to the max
Two of my favorite people!!!
One way to tell the truth more delicately in a way that FBI hostage negotiators do, is say everything after the 'but' to the person up front. For example, Tim mentioned he didn't want to go to a mask party on a Thursday BUT he didn't want to upset the person, she would probably feel let down, it would be really important to her and valuable to her and yada yada. Say all of that first, and then say you don't want to go. So something like "I know this is probably going to upset you because I know this party is really important to you but I just don't want to go. I'm sorry."
People have an innate natural tendency to want to disagree or disprove what you just said about them. So you can use that to your advantage.
For further study, Chris Voss provides a lot of insight here.
And dont even use “but”, and instead, use “and”.
Muchas gracias 🌄😃💕 muchas muchas gracias
1:09:20 is the "Jumping the Tracks" exercise/meditation (three joyful thoughts for each sense).
Yaaaaaay martha on the tim ferris show, so cool🤗🥰
I am throughly enjoying this podcast. "Finding my joy" appears to me the essence of a truthful (true to yourself) life. I am considering embarking on a MA in Classics based on The Great Books. My hesitation (fear) concerns my lack of a rigorous writing experience. I feel that I will not be able to "do the work" of writing the required essays in an A level form. I have A BS from Grand Canyon U. and several AA degrees in Xray & Ultrasound. I am a retired Army officer and my JOY has always been reading, almost anything and everything. My focus has always been The Great Books. Mortimer Adler is my intellectual muse. I am fascinated by his written output and his verbal ability to explain things to a layperson. My "ASK" is what do you recommend to free my block?
I don’t know if Tim will answer you, but I have the feeling that he could recommend “the war of art” by Stephen Pressfield. He’s got a podcast with him by the way and credit it like a great anti procrastination (and more) book. Good luck!
Interesting story about how making decisions based on feelings can cause destruction. Avoiding suffering brings short term pleasure not long term joy. Being able to endure difficulty makes you stronger. This pleasure seeking society is making us weak.
Being unashamed to just be... Providing it is honest, good, and kind (of course!). Fun vibes!
Ps. Have had a 1minute charcoal up framed for a while, was thinking to move onto something else. It’s no “work of art”, but a good reminder that art school ain’t for wimps.
Really enjoyed. Thank you!! 💫
Where are we getting the time to watch these videos? We are making the time to heal. It's magnetic. It is definitely the magic of technology.
all the little gems I have noted as a reminder :
does it bring me joy or does it not ?
track you life as you track an animal
but what you are looking for is joy in the body
individual destiny the truth will set you free
know what you really know and feel what you really feel
claim your right to joy.
and you want "them" also to feel joy.
In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added.
In the pursuit of enlightenment everyday something is dropped.
So you know less and less until you arrive at non-action,
and when nothing is done, nothing remains undone.
jumping the tracks opening to the possibles !
the opposite of anxiety isn't calm, it's creativity.
make something, you can't stay anxious if you're making something.
i will tell you one thing, if you go wherever you feel you're supposed to go to maximize your joy,
your adventures just increase.
i am in a liminal phase : the threshold is the place of magic because it's not one place or another when you're on it, you're not anyone anywhere. A liminal phase is the place where you're completely unformed but that's why it's a place you can do magic. Maybe you should stay in the liminal phase. Hang out here, Hang out in the waiting room for a little bit.... learn some magic.
that's where the shamans live. on the boundary.
if you stay in the liminal phase and tell the truth all the time, instead of being tricksty, if you learn the magic and tell the truth, you have to use it in ways that are for good and not evil.
---
Marie
Gold!
Living with integrity is a very Japanese principle stemming from Buddhism. Canada is also known for their honesty. Americans would change their country by embracing truthfulness and shunning leaders who lie and judges who do not hold them accountable.
I find her riveting. Frustrated that just when she was on to something that could have been elaborated, a question which didn't seem to flow brought it off track. Hoping for a sequel.
Whats the time stamp on that? Maybe he sees this, and it can be revisited by him the next time she’s on.
Que grata sorpresa Tim soy seguidor y fan tuyo, cuando dicen que las casulidades no existen cada día estoy más covencido. Hace unos pocos meses llegó una recomendación del libro de Martha Beck por el que se hizo tan concida "Encuentra tu estrela polar". Me quedé abrumado por lo bien extructurado y la gran información que aporta para la consecución de nuestro proposito en la vida. Soy colaborador hace tiempo de una publicación tipo peridodico comarcal aquí en Alicante (España) y este mes hace 10 días envié el articulo del mes que se titula "Conecta con tu esencia" haciendo una referencia a dicha autora, expongo mi opinión que comparto con esta gran mujer. La publicación salió a la calle en formato impreso el jueves 18 y ayer me vi la entrevista en tu mail al que estoy suscrico "5 Balas" y no daba credito a lo que veian mis ojos. Muchas gracias por se una inspiración para todos.
Postada: me encantó el programa de Jiu-Jitsu y lo rápido que parendes, ya que soy Maestro de Judo y sé lo dificil que es hacerlo tan bien en tan poco tiempo. Eso confirma que un buen maestro lo es gracias a un buen alumno.
Shame, Tim also wants to find his 'species' woman! He will I'm certain of it. Wow !! What an episode ! There is soooo much here. One incredible concept after the other. I absolutely loved this.
Can I get the cite for the study on people using empowered vs. victim language?
Wow what she was speaking on at 01:46:04 was fascinating.
“You tell the truth and people go away, that’s joy” 😂
Leaf blowers drive me nuts too 🤬
Key takeaways:
- “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” (Arthur C. Clarke), what seems like “uneducated” indigenous magic might be a technology we don’t understand
- Do things that give you (embodied) joy and energy, follow those tracks
-Speak no lies, don’t say yes to things you don’t want to do and instead reframe to things you do want
-Everything we yearn for is a feeling state
IFS is like Voice Dialogueing by Hal & Sidhra Stone
Amazing♥️ wonderful 💜thank you 🩷
Been stagnant, this was a much needed wind to move the sails.
Context matters.
Whoever made that opening for the podcast should come back to 2024
Everything compounds. a very little lies lead to a bigger lie and a bigger one, untill you did what you once thought of as impossible and you don't recognize yourself.