Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - How to pick if someone has it

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  • Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
  • American Psychologist Paul Elam gives his professional opinion on how to spot if someone may have this disorder based on the psychiatrists' bible, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM) . Dialectic Behavioural Therapy (DBT) can work wonders for people with DBT over an extended period of at least one year often in conjunction with mood stablising drugs.

Комментарии • 175

  • @trippstephens6934
    @trippstephens6934 3 года назад +60

    Man, I love this guy! Getting straight forward, no bullshit, emotional massage, just truth.

  • @Paul_Elam
    @Paul_Elam 3 года назад +68

    Good video. :)

    • @huojinchi4921
      @huojinchi4921 3 года назад +12

      @Victor De Leon Yep, it was removed, some idiot flagged it for "hate speech".

    • @BlondeManNoName
      @BlondeManNoName 3 года назад +15

      @@huojinchi4921 Must have been a BPD person because they are the biggest victims in their own minds.

  • @deluxedjs7543
    @deluxedjs7543 4 года назад +65

    So youtube, deleted, this infomative video. Thanks for re-upload this video, its saves male lives.

    • @nahtatroll
      @nahtatroll Год назад +1

      @Dans white What about your dad?

    • @fancyfeast6779
      @fancyfeast6779 Месяц назад

      All you guys are lost. You need God in your life.

  • @Joaquinonbasstheelectriklovein
    @Joaquinonbasstheelectriklovein 7 месяцев назад +8

    It's after 3am here & can't sleep.37 days no contact after a sudden & brutal discard but not after terrifying the neighborhood with an explosion of rage.I'm just grateful I've only got a broken heart & bruised ego cause the way this thing was going she was either get me thrown in jail or killed as my therapist candidly reminded me.God bless you man.

  • @joolspirog
    @joolspirog 5 лет назад +74

    Thank you. I have PTSD from being with a BPD and only for 6 months. How foolish I was to fall for the outer shell. No fool like an old fool.

    • @matt25675
      @matt25675 3 года назад +6

      Same

    • @ianmcewan2692
      @ianmcewan2692 3 года назад +15

      Don't think too badly about yourself mate. They are pretty convincing at the start. And that hoovering and gaslighting mixed with the manipulation through guilt would trick most who don't have a black dead heart.
      Look at it this way..... You now have a template to work from when assessing people. Especially any future partners. That is a skill in its self.
      Just you worry about you for now my friend. Concentrate on finding you again. Develop hobbies rather than just getting mashed If you can help it. I know it's easier said than done. But if you pour your emotions into something positive (like hobbies/skill building) rather than something negative(drugs/alcohol). a)you will be proud of yourself for your accomplishments(building your self esteem) b) you can work through your emotions and then focus that on something you can't really hurt or hurt you badly.(Not good to swallow it down). C) It will give you something to to think of other than #₩@head. D)It will be the best revenge ever for them to see or hear that you are not completely broken and pining for them. Especially when you get past their bullshit. And you will my friend. Give it time. The thing that borderlines fear the most is abandonment.
      Don't ever go back mate whether they beg,cry, go down on you. Just don't. Hold your head high and you go smash it mate. Never look back. Just focus on your future. It will get to a point it will just become a distant bad memory that you have to strain to recall.
      We all get the soppy goggles on at least once in our lives mate. You're not alone. So don't feel too foolish. Wisdom comes with age and experience. Hope you are well my friend.

    • @jorydillard3766
      @jorydillard3766 3 года назад +7

      Don’t feel bad...they put on a good act. Their assholism is not your fault.

    • @smilersmiling
      @smilersmiling 2 года назад +3

      @@ianmcewan2692 great reply. Need to channel that negativity into positive outcomes. The borderline experience is hell on earth when the devaluation starts to take hold. Many of us can testify to the monumental shit storm you go through, but we have got to other side and it will be the best reference point to never accept such a low class person in relationship again. It’s a tough lesson especially with the future faking and belief of where you thought where you were going with this person. Unfortunately borderlines present themselves falsely and the real person the lurks below is who they are.
      Borderlines need long term help not relationships. Just remember whatever you went through it’s happened with so many people before and many people in future will go through exactly the same. They never change where as you always have the opportunity to really grow from it.

  • @aluisiofsjr
    @aluisiofsjr 2 месяца назад +3

    I'm eternally gratefull for Paul Elam uploading this original video. I watched this video in 2016 by extreme luck, after a breakup with woman with many Borderline traits in 2013. He described her to a T. This video saves lives!

  • @georgevue8175
    @georgevue8175 10 месяцев назад +6

    My marriage was great for 14 years but when my cute Filipina wife gave birth it was like a switch went off in her head & all of a sudden I did not exist except to pay all the bills.
    She accused me of not loving our son & the relationship turned into that of adversaries her & her son versus me the evil man in the home. Mental Health is real & hindsight I wish I had my wife tested before I married her. She always had emotional swings but I never knew she actually suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder & unfortunately has been a 21-year postpartum nightmare to deal with.

  • @michaelgarrow3239
    @michaelgarrow3239 11 месяцев назад +6

    I had a female psychologist which a phd ruin everything.. I lost millions and a beautiful home.
    She used hypnosis, and brainwashing along with all the gaslighting and mental abuse.
    I live in a shipping container in the desert now. The worst part is my mind is still jacked up.
    I’m recovering and did not kill myself.

    • @okigi-wo5zm
      @okigi-wo5zm 2 месяца назад

      How did you meet her?

  • @steve3131
    @steve3131 11 месяцев назад +4

    I had a BPD boss. She had a hysterical pregnancy and wore maternity clothes for 11 months (after she had had a hysterectomy- I was about as likely to get knocked up as she was). When she divorced her husband (he was previously married to her BEST FRIEND- she was their babysitter- connect the dots) she took his cat to the vet and had it euthanized without his knowledge or consent. The supervisors drew straws to see which one would go into "Vinegar Tits" office to see what sort of mood she was in.

  • @user-ni8pl2yf4l
    @user-ni8pl2yf4l 6 месяцев назад +2

    I fell deeply in love with a woman with BPD. She had most of these traits , but was mostly abusive to herself, rather than to me. She took her life, yet I still love her dearly. She made me educate myself on bpd before agreeing to a relationship. Even with still loving her, 9 years later, every single thing you said was true. I didn't initially like hearing it, but I needed to hear it exactly as you said it !!! I don't consider myself a victim because I walked in with my eyes wide open.

  • @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.
    @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. 3 месяца назад +2

    Wish I'd seen your videos as a teenager; if I ever have sons, they will know your wisdom.

  • @libbil9943
    @libbil9943 Год назад +8

    I subtlety rejected a female coworker of mine because of my own low self esteem (I'm a loser who lives with his parents and I have anxiety) and she went ballistic. Textbook borderline symptoms.

  • @EntheogenesisEcuador
    @EntheogenesisEcuador 5 лет назад +30

    Good to see this important video is still available. :)

  • @wildmanauh
    @wildmanauh 5 лет назад +37

    Love you and I support your attitude approaching this. I am one of the victims and because of great people like you I can finally feel liberated. Thank you and bless you

  • @georgevue8175
    @georgevue8175 10 месяцев назад +4

    I left the house to play basketball for a couple hours & BOOM! 12 hysterical phone calls accusing me of abandoning her & the baby. I went windsurfing for an afternoon with my buddies & BOOM! she broke out in an angry rage that lasted a week. I bought us a new home so she could be close to her mom & BOOM! she spent $300,000 on renovations without whispering a word to me. She gets in the car & BOOM! 80MPH 3 inches off the bumper in front of her. I get angry over the $300Grand in spending & BOOM! she jumps in bed with a coworker. I love women I used to love my wife and I honestly feel bad for her because her (BPD) is not her fault, it's my fault for not recognizing she has/had mental health problems.

    • @mendey14
      @mendey14 6 месяцев назад +2

      She's married to her Mom not to you

  • @digimaestro
    @digimaestro 3 года назад +10

    This is right on, scary stuff, but liberating. I work with danger and have been bringing it home in the form of women with BPD for decades in more than one country. Thanks for the straight talk. Now, it’s my problem as it should be. Great stuff, sir. That is exactly what I needed today. It is a pattern to be attracted to these women. I realized that last week, finally and looked for help. However, after watching your video, the help is a lot simpler and I do it very well in my professional, but not in my personal life. I can summarize your advice: recognize them and GTFO while you still can. Thank you, very much. When I have time I am gonna subtitle this in Brazilian Portuguese as it can help a lot more victims.

  • @piobmhor8529
    @piobmhor8529 2 года назад +16

    Had a buddy of mine who lived with a textbook BPD. In less than three months, he was sleeping on a couch at my place for his own safety. Now that she felt “abandoned” by him, she phoned the cops saying that he molested her two year old daughter. His life was made a living hell while he fought those charges. It was obvious to everyone that the daughter was coached into what to say and that there was no evidence that anything happened. Besides, I knew my buddy, and he was incapable of doing such a thing. He was acquitted, but his reputation was destroyed; after all in the court of popular opinion he wasn’t found “not guilty” but rather he “got away with it”. She walked away with absolutely no consequences, only to move on to her next victim.

    • @DaSurfr
      @DaSurfr 2 года назад +3

      That's very fucked up, man. I also had a friend whose bitch, sick wife, who had two teenage girls from a previous marriage (ex husband was in jail for years). The bitch coached her daughters to accuse him of sexual harassment. He got kicked out of his house, he was looking for a place to stay, and then the cops arrested him at his job, in front of all his co-workers. After he won the legal battle and false accusations, he took off for Mexico, where he's from. He did not even bother to file for divorce; he just took the fuck off.

  • @jesserentas7425
    @jesserentas7425 2 года назад +6

    Spot on information 9yrs of borderline abuse 3 1/2 was in marriage thankfully im done with this situation and getting a divorce work on your self gents

  • @kingsix2000
    @kingsix2000 Год назад +5

    At 5:00
    Her abandonment anxiety can even be triggered by her own dreams. It is insane.

    • @smilersmiling
      @smilersmiling 5 месяцев назад +2

      Ah yes their dreams can really tip the dynamic instantly. So no matter how calm you think you’ve made life for them their dreams can spin out of control. So unfortunately as soon as you talk to opposite sex in their dreams … game over 😂

    • @kingsix2000
      @kingsix2000 5 месяцев назад +3

      @@smilersmiling "you were cheating in my dream" 🤣

  • @DigitalAFAM
    @DigitalAFAM 4 месяца назад +1

    This video and guy saved me from a relationship about 5 years ago! Grateful!!

  • @frankshanks9726
    @frankshanks9726 2 года назад +7

    What about the undiagnosed? I’m willing to bet my entire life savings that my ex has BPD. I was abused relentlessly with her having breakdowns every time saying the most horrendous shit you could imagine while I just remain silent in shock then the next day she’d tell me she’s not sure she could recover from the abuse she endured the day before???. At the end I find out she had a completely separate serious relationship at least 10 out of the 12 months we where together spending time with his family on holidays all while taking my money telling me she loves me.

  • @O8080808O
    @O8080808O 2 месяца назад

    Thank you for your courage and the Moral and Ethical codes you champion.

  • @brentmarryatt5714
    @brentmarryatt5714 5 лет назад +7

    Thanks Paul,i love listening to you talk,i wish you were around when i was younger,i always feel better after listening to you.

  • @maton100
    @maton100 5 лет назад +15

    As Admiral Ackbar gently reminded us, "It's A Trap!"

  • @rwewrrwrwer4310
    @rwewrrwrwer4310 3 года назад +4

    Many thanks for your work, you were my first point of contact after a traumatic experience wi an Oz woman, since then I never looked back, what a blessing you are...

  • @michelsascha
    @michelsascha 2 года назад +5

    I wish i saw this 20 years ago.

  • @mithilesh1343
    @mithilesh1343 Год назад +4

    Good Talk. Majority of relationship truth just in nutshell cracked open.

  • @ConspiracyPundit
    @ConspiracyPundit 3 года назад +6

    This was pulled. Thanks for reuploading like people used to do in days gone by. I will rip this, my fav is chasing the dragon by Mr Elam, but having felt the sting of so many borderlines these just made me laugh at how stupid I was for wanting crazy p0ssy. Got my homeless a few times though.

  • @Jazzmarcel
    @Jazzmarcel Год назад +2

    Two thumbs up!👍🏽👍🏽 very informative and a few times you got me laughing but ain’t a dam thing funny!……seriously wish I had found this video before I got one pregnant last year!😢

  • @lancel.diesel4069
    @lancel.diesel4069 Год назад +3

    I know what you mean! My ex wife had (BPD). I have written a book teaching men to protect themselves and children from abuse titled "A Violent Marriage: An Abused Husband Defeats An Abusive American Wife." by Lance L. Diesel on Barnes & Noble ebooks. Put the word out.

  • @bobhunley3624
    @bobhunley3624 3 года назад +3

    Hi Paul. I was accidentally poisoned and pleas ignored when a deadly concoction of long term prescribed SSRI'S OF high doses for 18 yrs. I'm mentally defective but You are Right. Period. It doesn't absolve me of my responsibility. I'm not above and mind my own business. But here in the South Bay , things are creepy with some professionals that display every Symptom to the tee. Subcontractors are treating by No Treat thing here. People are scared. All of your predictions come true and worse. So I can put sentences together now. I was close to stroke Dialisis and catetaking. Not for a pat on the back but you are right Paul. I Thank you. Bob Hunley Los Angeles C. A.

  • @hankscorpiouk
    @hankscorpiouk 4 года назад +12

    Wasn't there a version of this that had hundreds of comments?

    • @juancorzo5081
      @juancorzo5081 3 года назад +2

      It was taken down because of somw triggered bpd

  • @MrJesse3030
    @MrJesse3030 3 года назад +9

    This is gold!

  • @rhysweaver7178
    @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад +22

    They'll destroy you for sure. They'll trap you into a relationship by any means. Anything can trigger them and in the throngs of a fear of abandonment episode they can seriously harm or kill you. God forbid you have a child with a borderliner like I did.
    I'm lucky to be alive. Nuff said.

    • @7Earthsky
      @7Earthsky 4 года назад +5

      I had a child with one as well....I still got the fuck out.....I don't regret it either.

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад

      @@itsbubbles4021 Then give back the gifts and make your statement true that way😉

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад +4

      @M C If you have a kid with a borderliner it can be hard on you cause it's like you got two kids.
      Borderliners can't control their emotions and their emotions aren't fully formed and some are formed in the most fucktard way
      Not all but some and Your partner can become extremely jealous and hateful of you when they see your child develop a relationship with you and even others. They may actively try thwart your emotional bonding with your kid through weird shit and dysfunctional behaviour projected at either you or the child itself.
      They can be real nut jobs and have everyone walking on eggshells when it boils down to it. Kids deserve better.

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад +3

      @@itsbubbles4021 blah blah blah. Borderliners make horrible lovers but everyone says they're great.
      What do you think?

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад

      What sex are you talking about?

  • @christianolins2520
    @christianolins2520 4 года назад +6

    Would you tell me if this person has BPD issues? I've met a girl who was constantly upset and showing up herself when I was around and I noticed she was doing that for making attention for myself to her. When I finally had the opportunity to get to know her personally, she used to talk good things about me to her friends. However she was impulsively fast and unpredictable with how she used to show me affection and if I didn't react the way she would expect, she would stay upset or give her back to me. She used to be offended with simple comments as well. One day she decided to disappear from social gatherings for some weeks and when I met her again, she treated me quite badly and avoiding me constantly. When I tried to send her messages to understand what was going on, She said she didn't know what motivated me to do so. She met me in the next day but I was drained with that situation, so we had a fight and she left quite nervously, gruning and pulling violently the car handbreak off.
    I would never expect that from her because she usually be very happy and friendly with everyone, intelligent and talented person. I never heard about self injuries from her or strong depression, once I didn't have access to her personal daily life.

    • @scottfalter4373
      @scottfalter4373 3 года назад +3

      Run. And run fast! You are lucky to be able to do so this early. The fact that you’re asking should be your answer. You have recognized things in her that are warning signs to you. To be honest, who cares if it’s BPD? It could even be something else. But it doesn’t matter! Get away!! Let her fix her.

    • @carloscabrera5311
      @carloscabrera5311 2 года назад

      @@scottfalter4373 100%

    • @manuelmanzanero5057
      @manuelmanzanero5057 2 года назад

      I have no idea what the hell she has, but what you said is enough to imagine that she's a type of person with toxicity levels that exceed ten vials of methylmercury in the vein. Run, Simba, Run.

  • @joolspirog
    @joolspirog 5 лет назад +14

    Borderlines rarely react well to diagnosis. No cure but there is help

    • @camogrrl
      @camogrrl 3 года назад

      80% cure rate for BPD with excellent clinicians. Poor clinicians don’t get results.

    • @trippstephens6934
      @trippstephens6934 3 года назад +5

      They never seem to get help though

    • @scottfalter4373
      @scottfalter4373 3 года назад +2

      @@camogrrl , but that’s with the assumption the BPD seeks help, and submits to it. That is the issue. My BPD wife has cut off any relationship with therapists, or sponsors, that have gotten closer to the issues in her life. She won’t admit to them, or face them. She runs. So the ones seeing results are those that want a change, and can and will admit this about themselves. You can lead a horse to water.......

  • @brotherscoobs
    @brotherscoobs Год назад +3

    My mother...bpd to a tee...she died 10 yrs ago...so did many of my demons

  • @MikeG-fp8mt
    @MikeG-fp8mt 2 года назад +3

    Soooooooo true. Beware to all people!!!

  • @monuhits
    @monuhits Месяц назад +1

    Thanks paul

  • @Jspore-ip5rk
    @Jspore-ip5rk 3 года назад +3

    Yo. Not only does youtube delete content but they render them completely invisible

  • @travistalley4835
    @travistalley4835 Год назад +1

    Wow this was great now I know I was be treating so bad

  • @saragordon2354
    @saragordon2354 5 лет назад +12

    I really enjoyed this video and would be interested in hearing how to spot BPD in men as well. Certainly the disorder isn't limited to one gender. Thank you for the great info.

    • @7Earthsky
      @7Earthsky 4 года назад +7

      It's not gender specific but Paul mostly gives advice for men.

    • @Marcelube
      @Marcelube 4 года назад

      ruclips.net/video/cHj3-l1o3i4/видео.html

    • @zachquinones
      @zachquinones 2 года назад +3

      I believe men lean more towards NPD of the cluster B personality disorders. Which is very similar to BPD with some distinct differences.

    • @thedadyouneverhadchannel3544
      @thedadyouneverhadchannel3544 11 месяцев назад

      Always deflecting never taking accountability. We’re not talking about men here princess gtfo outta here w your bs.

  • @Happy-Me.
    @Happy-Me. 5 лет назад +5

    Excellent!

  • @benpiche5969
    @benpiche5969 Год назад +1

    I was diagnosed with BPD some years ago. I no longer meet the full criteria. I may be fucked but I've never been manipulative. Not every personality disordered individual is manipulative and out to get you.

    • @aluisiofsjr
      @aluisiofsjr Месяц назад

      I wonder how many BPD doesn’t consider themselves manipulative.

  • @richardkrause9692
    @richardkrause9692 3 года назад +2

    I have encountered many people ( especially females) that have this and all the symptoms. My dude JOHN is involved with a person like this and I'm just trying to educate him for hopefully he will then stop dealing with this person.

  • @neveragain733
    @neveragain733 8 месяцев назад +2

    My life is permanently ruined because of one of these women.

    • @user-di7ho7lg6e
      @user-di7ho7lg6e 3 месяца назад

      I hope not. It’s been a long time since you posted this.
      Wishing you the best. I’m recovering after seven years dealing with one. Total nightmare.
      Totally expect her to jump out of the bushes again at some point.
      Hang in there, you are not alone. 🙏🏻

    • @neveragain733
      @neveragain733 3 месяца назад +1

      @@user-di7ho7lg6e ty for your kind reply. Im still having low grade panic attacks, and my sleep is off. Im much better then when i had her leave.
      I have notice i seem to be crabby or just down right angry at times.
      My nervous system needs more time to heal. Hope you are doing well.

  • @haleighdrops
    @haleighdrops 2 года назад +2

    You’re an *** but I really like it. I have BPD & I’m getting help and support but learning about how I effect people. Thank you for the honesty

  • @donut_lyfe
    @donut_lyfe 4 года назад +5

    What about BPDs with mysterious illnesses?

    • @saxonpete5131
      @saxonpete5131 3 года назад +1

      Yes mine claimed to have a rare enzyme deficiency where she couldn't break down sugars or carbs yet she used to pack away chocolate, ice cream, crisps and chips as if there was no tomorrow.

  • @kokocherrycola6310
    @kokocherrycola6310 2 года назад +4

    He’s talking about Amber Turd.

  • @lorenr3276
    @lorenr3276 3 года назад +8

    I think magnesium, zinc or vit D and A deficiency. Most of these mental disorders are just nutritional deficiencies. Water soluble vitamins also cant be accurately measured with a blood test and most doctors don't know that. This wasn't a problem in the past as much as now because people worked and lived outside(vit D), ate vegetables and organ meats. Its a serious problem. Alcoholism is a magnesium deficiency.

    • @jasonsinn5455
      @jasonsinn5455 11 месяцев назад

      Might have something to do with it and might explain why some siblings with exactly the same upbringing don't get it but it general BPD comes from those that have had an abusive and emotionally neglected children.

  • @dashrendarthegolden5925
    @dashrendarthegolden5925 7 месяцев назад +1

    This video used to be up on Paul Elam’s page; at least a couple years before this page. I first saw it around 2017. It was titled “How to spot a Borderline from a mile away.” The title alone villainized borderline personality disordered individuals. Which contradicts his salty opening. Interesting that it was removed from his page and reposted here with a newer and more “sensitive” title. Elohel

    • @smilersmiling
      @smilersmiling 5 месяцев назад +1

      What is contradictory in his opening?

    • @smilersmiling
      @smilersmiling 2 месяца назад +2

      It’s an excellent video nonetheless? If you’re a super fan of Paul you could buy some merchandise?

    • @dashrendarthegolden5925
      @dashrendarthegolden5925 2 месяца назад

      @@smilersmiling Your second comment consists of statements, not questions. They should have periods instead of question marks at the end.

    • @smilersmiling
      @smilersmiling 2 месяца назад

      ⁠​⁠@@dashrendarthegolden5925first comment had a question, but was unanswered.
      Therefore it seemed logical in second comment to add question marks to statements to see if a comment would follow. Funnily enough it did.

    • @dashrendarthegolden5925
      @dashrendarthegolden5925 2 месяца назад

      @@smilersmiling Logic has nothing to do with the proper use of punctuation in the English language. Your first question was nonsensical as the answer was already stated in my original comment. Reread it. Have a nice day.

  • @user-cy2tu2my3z
    @user-cy2tu2my3z Год назад

    appreciation.

  • @jeanette-and-ernie-atthe-a3271
    @jeanette-and-ernie-atthe-a3271 3 года назад +1

    October 6th, 2020.

  • @unvaccinatedmgtowfitness
    @unvaccinatedmgtowfitness Год назад

    "Banging your friends" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @hankscorpiouk
    @hankscorpiouk 4 года назад +5

    Is it common for borderlines to fake their own deaths?

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад +3

      Holy shirt. Anything for attention.

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад +1

      @@itsbubbles4021 you know how ridiculous it is to say normal people do that.

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад

      @@itsbubbles4021 well what I think is a borderliner is less likely to fake their own death and get away with it. Also there's a broadness to the question.

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад

      @@itsbubbles4021 hey bubbles. Take a chill pill. What do you mean by you people,, seriously take a chill pill..

    • @rhysweaver7178
      @rhysweaver7178 4 года назад

      @@itsbubbles4021 how does faking mental illness add to stigma precisely?

  • @DayaTom
    @DayaTom 4 года назад +2

    I wish it was just women!

  • @kimheadland9224
    @kimheadland9224 4 года назад +3

    Hello I have been diagnosed with BPD and bipolar disorder ....I have only had three relationships I certainly didn’t jump straight into bed with anyone of them it was months before and am married to the last one and I have never done drugs don’t drink alcohol don’t smoke no gambling and certainly no risky business and I have never thought of harming myself and certainly not never cut myself with a knife or razor anything at all like that thought makes me feel ill I grew up in a good family with both parents . One brother one sister all in all I’ve had a good childhood well I’ve gone on and on for long enough just your version of my illness is different to the way I am it was certainly interesting ........kim

    • @evelynnnyt
      @evelynnnyt 4 года назад

      You’re still crazy in other ways lol

    • @camogrrl
      @camogrrl 3 года назад

      Not everyone has every symptom. Outliers exist.

    • @noatheistsinarabithole1103
      @noatheistsinarabithole1103 3 года назад +2

      Congratulations....please seek help and attention elsewhere

    • @lorenr3276
      @lorenr3276 3 года назад

      Hi it is likely a vit d, vit a, zinc, and magnesium deficiency. Deficiencies in these cause depression, alcoholism etc. Some doctors recognize the correlation between vit d and depression or magnesium and alcoholism( alcoholics drink because it produces an effect similar to magnesium) but most dont.

  • @7Earthsky
    @7Earthsky 4 года назад +9

    To one extent or another, he just described most women in the world.

    • @camogrrl
      @camogrrl 3 года назад

      Wow misogyny nice

    • @7Earthsky
      @7Earthsky 11 месяцев назад

      @@camogrrl Wow butthurt.....Nice. :)

  • @frankdavf4599
    @frankdavf4599 3 года назад

    This is so sad... for me

  • @magicsinglez
    @magicsinglez 4 года назад

    Easy. Everyone you don’t like is Borderline. . .wait. . .narcissist. Anyone you don’t like is a narcissist. It doesn’t matter that only 1% of the public are narcissists, this is an important talk about the importance of spotting narcissists. Straight talk.

  • @karolinakloss1642
    @karolinakloss1642 2 года назад +1

    "(...) gives his professional opinion (...)", good one! Your perception is by no means a professional opinion. I would love to elaborate, but I doubt it would help in any way. Your ignorance, unfounded judgment, and lack of empathy became thanks to this video very clear and blocking this comment will confirm exactly that.

  • @heatherplaton370
    @heatherplaton370 Год назад

    F for all the homies in the chat

  • @kimberleyheadland927
    @kimberleyheadland927 2 года назад

    Hello Paul I have bipolar disorder I think that’s what we call it in Britain I think it’s the same thing similar I mention BPD to my doctor he said it’s not recognised in Britain just like lots of other disorders he said it was an American thing 🤣they make up a disorder my doctor said for money because they have no national health Service I think if I mentioned this disorder to someone in England they say yeah it’s bipolar disorder which I have been diagnosed with and not being funny but they don’t sound the same at all what you’re describing if I have this I would put myself down literally hells Bells I really hope I’m not like this 😂😂...........kim🇬🇧

    • @smilersmiling
      @smilersmiling 2 года назад +2

      No they don’t call it bipolar in Britain. It’s called Bpd in the uk or EUPD, but it’s recognised. A simple look on the nhs website will show it’s recognised.
      They don’t sound the same because they aren’t. There’s some similarities, but BPD is a personality disorder and bipolar is a mood disorder. The presentation of them may seem similar when described but the change in mood in bipolar tends to be over a long period of time where as borderline can switch from positive to negative at the drop of hat.
      Read up on them both and you’ll soon understand the differences

  • @AnonymousMonkeyMan-pu1gu
    @AnonymousMonkeyMan-pu1gu 2 месяца назад

    wow like my ex

  • @Vickytoriahirt1234
    @Vickytoriahirt1234 2 года назад +5

    Antagonizing people with BPD while claiming to be "offering support" to people who are on the receiving end of a BPD, and forgetting that BPD is something that many males experience. This guy is too much LOL

    • @elvenbae
      @elvenbae 2 года назад +1

      He doesn't seem to be able to tell nuance at all, black and white thinking is displayed in how he collectivises people. toxic relationships are mutual more often than not, and just because the other person may or may not have (or you just think they have) a personality disorder, it doesn't excuse any other partner from being a part of the drama triangle.
      Everyone has a right to be safe and draw healthy boundaries.

    • @Vickytoriahirt1234
      @Vickytoriahirt1234 2 года назад +3

      @@elvenbae I agree. He is very black and white. His total generalization of women all the time is annoying and disturbing. My mother and grandmother were amazing women. Men aren't angels and there are a lot of great women. I'm not at ALL a feminist and I definitely am in line with the need for advocacy for men's issues, but I don't like Paul Elam's approach at all. Advocacy for male issues is necessary and a good cause but Paul Elam has seized upon this good movement and made a little cult for himself sort of.
      He's got a history. Look up on Google the relationship he's had with his daughter. And how he apparently yelled at his grandson for opening the fridge or soemthing. The guy's a weirdo. He thinks anybody who is critical of him is a "cuck" Lol and therefore a feminist. Not at all.

    • @fallon7616
      @fallon7616 2 года назад

      @@Vickytoriahirt1234 He's a fraud
      He raped me in a Texas hospital. He knows. He was fired. I have records

    • @heatherplaton370
      @heatherplaton370 Год назад +2

      I’m sorry but no, there is so much support there is. Difference with support and enabling them. He’s saying don’t enable them to the point where you are a victim. As an adult people with BPD have to choose to get help just like drug addicts, food a addicts, and other mental illnesses

    • @heatherplaton370
      @heatherplaton370 Год назад +1

      I understand that you are taking things very personally, and that’s a very black and white way of thinking with in itself. If you find offense I’m sorry. However, I would say look at things in a way where you can take the best of what he is saying as truth or that there is some truth of what he’s saying instead of trying to immediately demonize him.

  • @camogrrl
    @camogrrl 3 года назад

    6:40 lol

  • @smilersmiling
    @smilersmiling 3 года назад +3

    Haha ... some borderlines may feel abandoned if they don’t go a check your mail box with you.

    • @denelios
      @denelios Год назад +2

      My BPD female partner likes to know my plans and keeps them in her phone calendar. I do have severe ADHD so this is useful to me as it’s another layer of reminder so i don’t forget stuff. However i am also conscious of the fact I’m enabling a form of control for her by participating in this. I know for her, it’s about her insecurity not my well being because if i forget to tell her something I’m planning to do, she gets irritated or angry

  • @Anonymous-gj4ui
    @Anonymous-gj4ui 2 года назад +2

    you're basically telling people to stay away from us which i find is truly fucked up cause at the end of the day we love hard an don't mean to hurt anyone we just get so angry just like anyone else gets angry it happens an someone obviously hurt you lol

    • @Anonymous-gj4ui
      @Anonymous-gj4ui 2 года назад

      @Mon Cherii how you gon tell me if a borderline loves hard or not lmfao an we wouldn't have to plot revenge if you didn't give us a valid reason lmao 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • @denelios
      @denelios Год назад +4

      The fact you put ‘lol’ after ‘someone obviously hurt you’ tell me more about your character than you could imagine. It says you are a narcissistic, self absorbed, vindictive person who delights in the pain of others. In fact, you are proving his information about BPD is correct. The fact BPD women ‘love and love hard’ is arguably true - in your mind at least. However it’s not ‘love’ in the normal sense of the word, but rather a stifling, psychotic love that is built around insecurity and consequently control. And yes everyone gets angry, but normal people might shout a bit, maybe throw some objects, whereas BPD anger is often expressed by making false rape allegations, spreading damaging and dangerous rumours about the human target of their anger, and waging an all-out war of total annihilation against their victims. I know all this to be true because my long term partner is BPD and in the past she has wrought chaos and pain in my life that prior to meeting her, i had only experienced in horror movies or crime thrillers. However i have forgiven (but not forgotten) her past transgressions and she has made an effort to help herself. I hope you have done the same. I wish you healing, happiness and good health.

  • @andrigregoriou5508
    @andrigregoriou5508 3 года назад

    Well when someone im flirting with is rude to me or weird I know it’s easy to come up with an excuse so I feel better but As an adult I recognize that maybe their not interested. I didn’t approach correctly or we are totally different which is the most common. You don’t meet someone and after three dates or times after a small talk we decide they are psychos. You don’t get in a relationship after a month and ending up regretting it after 6months and taking another 6 months to a year to decide to break up. It’s a well known story. It’s not happening to you only. I know it feels better but after 25 is better you face the truth and change way or taste on what you think might be suitable or sexy and work on improving on a personal level than just judging..because dude I tell you that’s why you are still single and rest to the idea that all women are like that..because I guarantee you that accepting that is like deciding that you will end up with such a person because they are” all the same “or end up alone which in this case is the correct option to keep you safe from being abused by choice! Playing the victim is the most comfortable and easy excuse for not taking responsibility of our actions. Referring to all sexes, genders..without choosing or using statistics to prove or separate anyone from having more or less chances to suffer mentally at some point or for their whole life!

  • @FUB666
    @FUB666 2 года назад

    Who hurt you buddy?
    This was amusing

  • @andrigregoriou5508
    @andrigregoriou5508 3 года назад +5

    Sexist and unprofessional for sure. Probably suffering from personal drama and in need of counseling. Definitely rued and obviously those who decide to be rude are also confident about it which is another issue to take in consideration for counseling.

    • @adriansaunders4612
      @adriansaunders4612 3 года назад +10

      The video is to the point but anyone that has been harmed by someone with Bpd will agree with every word stated.

    • @JohnDoe-id1es
      @JohnDoe-id1es 3 года назад +3

      I'm sure if anyone has dealt with a BPD person, then Yes- You are Absolutely Right- we DO need counseling. Hardcore counseling.

    • @limozine8466
      @limozine8466 3 года назад +5

      Since when is telling the truth bluntly sexist or unprofessional? This video is a warning that is directed to men. He is describing a type of women with a condition in terms that can be easily understood & framed as a warning. What he is saying is true. Paul clearly states a "trigger warning " at the beginning of the video. He gives "talks" are directed to his intended audience. Men. Why is it such an issue to give men advise or a warning?
      I was in a relationship with a BPD woman. Everything he talked about I experienced. Everything! I feel for them but, they are dangerous to be around & they can wreck your life.

    • @chrisduhaime5689
      @chrisduhaime5689 Год назад

      Reality is a hard concept to grasp . So many suffer with some one they love BUTT can't be fixed or change . It's a bad tooth and we all know it has to be pul led. Paul is the antidote to Dr Phil /Oprah Winn bag with all the psychobabble Beat The Man Down B.S there programming is geared towards a female audience. (Rude) = tired of the B.S Blunt no other way to say it to get a point across . Sexist defitnely should know the difference. Professional only means paid to do a service or JOB . Men need to be talk to like MEN. It used to be called tuff love.

  • @psicopatafascista3
    @psicopatafascista3 2 года назад

    Stop crying, gay