How To Begin Healing Trauma Bonds

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  • Опубликовано: 2 июл 2024
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Комментарии • 92

  • @TheHolisticPsychologist
    @TheHolisticPsychologist  3 года назад +32

    #SelfHealers, what else do you want to know about trauma bonds -Nicole PS, as always thanks for watching!

    • @jesskinsinger2415
      @jesskinsinger2415 3 года назад +5

      Thanks for this, Dr. Nicole! My question is this...is there any kind of resource video or transcript that outlines what a typical confrontation conversation between two people might look like when they are both utilizing the coping mechanisms for trauma bonding? I’m interested in seeing HOW one would actually speak these things to a partner/friend and move forward from there, including if you did end up having to step away from the conversation.

    • @margaridamatos9840
      @margaridamatos9840 3 года назад +1

      types of trauma bonds and how to recognize your own

    • @katetyack1710
      @katetyack1710 3 года назад +2

      How do I tap into the part of me that won’t let me heal?

    • @Samantha-th1dr
      @Samantha-th1dr 3 года назад +4

      Do you have advice for how to respectfully end a friendship you've outgrown? I feel very guilty springing it on my friend 'out of nowhere' since nothing has changed between us -- all of the change that makes us no longer compatible has happened within myself.

    • @Maria-bh1ky
      @Maria-bh1ky 3 года назад

      It is possible to be with a lover who are going thought the dark night of the soul?

  • @bearbaera9431
    @bearbaera9431 3 года назад +106

    Thank you for the captions! I’m deaf and it’s so nice to have accessible mental health resources :)

  • @theanxietymd
    @theanxietymd 3 года назад +27

    Thank you for this! Freud called it the "repetition compulsion" -the urge to repeat the same patterns we learned or were shown in childhood. It is automatic and unconscious. Thank you for helping make what is unconscious, conscious. I love your work.

  • @cassandra_shamansharron7183
    @cassandra_shamansharron7183 3 года назад +4

    I have been working on my trauma bonding for three years with a therapist. And your videos from RUclips.
    All I have to say is it was hard !! and it was slow, and I had to learn patience, I had to give myself more compassion than I ever have.
    I was constantly embracing joy, instead of giving it away to others.
    I ended an unhealthy relationship that I was in for 10 years, it’s been three years now without him.
    And now I’m part of a group where I can use my shamanistic Tribal Ancestors medicine to help heal others,.
    In A group setting, we’re we are Equal.
    And now it feels like I’ve done 90% of the work and I’ve only got 10% left.
    Thank you for all the videos, thank you for all the time you give, and thank you for sharing about holding space, I’ve also been doing that under the tutelage of a Buddhist monk.

  • @lyndiebest9788
    @lyndiebest9788 3 года назад +12

    Thank you so much! It's been years but I've picked up journaling again just so I could do this. I didn't even realize. As time goes on, I find myself naturally gravitating towards the things that will bring about healing. You have been a part of my journey, giving me words of wisdom when I needed it the most.

  • @LoveDeedee79
    @LoveDeedee79 2 года назад +7

    Thank you so much for talking about HEALING trauma bonding! Too few do this, so your wholesome video on the topic is a biiiiig help 💗

  • @perlamargarita8040
    @perlamargarita8040 3 года назад +14

    I actually understand! That's so huge!!

  • @Kitylz
    @Kitylz 3 года назад +8

    I’m so grateful for you! You’re an amazing teacher. I can’t wait to read your book!! I get so much out of these short videos already. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and your kind presence.🙏🏼💛

  • @tessthehighpriestess
    @tessthehighpriestess 3 года назад +5

    These are literally what I was trying to convey to my husband about what work it takes now to have a relationship with me as a former co-dependent. Thank you for this help. I look forward to the shame video!

  • @mokshasanctuary
    @mokshasanctuary 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for this. Exactly the process I need to have right now. Thank you dr. Nicole. You are sent by the universe I just saw your channel exactly when I needed to hear the message you delivered.

  • @ozywomandius2290
    @ozywomandius2290 3 года назад +4

    0:18 kitty chimes in “pet/pet parents!” 😸 thank you for this video. I’ve watched the other videos on trauma bonds and failed to see how it applied to me, but this one...yep!

  • @mikemartin1200
    @mikemartin1200 3 года назад +2

    just wanted to say thank you for working hard on these videos and talking about the right content to help a more current society. my twin flame and I really learned alot from you when we were together 💙

  • @IroSelene
    @IroSelene 3 года назад +3

    I thought I was unhealed. It appears I was doing some of the steps already without knowing I was. After a recent trigger I took space to not react and did a meditation. Even during meditation the trigger was so high that my visualisation was through the roof, scattered and intense. Even the dreams during that night were too much.

  • @priancavail6520
    @priancavail6520 3 года назад +1

    Amazing video Dr! #3 is so important to me and maybe to many others, but no one asks that question! All these steps apply to me. Thank you for teaching this step by step video to learn and practice!🌺😘

  • @Lisa-pe6dl
    @Lisa-pe6dl 3 года назад +1

    Thanks Nicole, very appreciated.
    Any information is good....
    My favourite of your videos is the one on disassociation /disconnection coping mechanisms, it really made sense and she'd light and much self understanding and others have experienced this as it is not the immediate flight, fight or freeze survival mechanisms.
    I first saw you on Met Robbins Channel ,she fantastic too.

  • @FemininitywithMommaGail
    @FemininitywithMommaGail 3 года назад +2

    This is so true! Just Subbed. Thank you so much for this channel.😊

  • @haisesasaki3944
    @haisesasaki3944 3 года назад +1

    I'm a new subscriber. I love the way you represent your information. Thank you for the hard work. 🙏

  • @maddie5131
    @maddie5131 3 года назад +1

    Love how intuitive she is 💜🖤💜🖤

  • @kristidin1983
    @kristidin1983 3 года назад +7

    I love this. Like begets like even in trauma. I felt I began to emerge from this but my wife would never seem to come along. We are now divorcing and it's heartbreaking as she is fueled with disdain and blame, in the name of boundaries. But boundaries are for you. Not to punish someone else. Just more trauma. I loved her more than anything. Releasing her has been so hard and still so healing for me as I move forward. 💚

  • @marylethamatthews3231
    @marylethamatthews3231 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for your kind energy.

  • @LocoRosannuh
    @LocoRosannuh 3 года назад +1

    AWESOME advice from each video. Thank you.

  • @NatsumeVtube
    @NatsumeVtube 3 года назад +1

    You are glowing!!! Thank you for this ☺️

  • @marianapretti2866
    @marianapretti2866 Год назад

    I love your videos, Dr Nicole. Thanks so much for doing them in such an amazing and easy way to understand them.💜

  • @dcny69
    @dcny69 3 года назад +1

    Thank you, you are amazing and have great healing energy 🙏

  • @indigoblue4791
    @indigoblue4791 3 года назад

    Eagerly await everyone of your videos! 🙂💞

  • @Sasha257fierce
    @Sasha257fierce Год назад +3

    Absolutely amazing. So inspiring. I would love to know more about healthy reactions, healthy conversations or healthy consequences actions or talks to have with your partner after he or she crosses a boundary or Scorsese’s multiply boundaries.

  • @Sigma1755
    @Sigma1755 3 года назад

    Thank you, needed to see this

  • @ArianaReflects
    @ArianaReflects 3 года назад +2

    Thank you for this❤️

  • @NKHTAROT
    @NKHTAROT 3 года назад +4

    💛💫 love all ur videos...I just started my tarot channel a while ago I know how much work it is, sending good vibes thank you💫💛

  • @freedom8744
    @freedom8744 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for this! 🙏🌸

  • @thenewmoon2339
    @thenewmoon2339 3 года назад +1

    Please do more on trauma bonding...please... 🙏 that was perfect thank you

  • @saralasenby4602
    @saralasenby4602 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much for this it has been very helpful in my relationship 🙏🌈🦄

  • @carolinakerridge3995
    @carolinakerridge3995 3 года назад +1

    These are wonderful videos bringing awareness to the public of trauma and healing, thank you for your great work. In my journey of healing I found EFT (emotional freedom technique) so powerful in being to move through and change these patterns rapidly and very successfully. I then began to train in this field and it has made such an enormous difference to the clients that come. Instead of taking years with normal counselling this deep somatic work took just months. It has been life changing. Is this an area you have explored in your research?

  • @neelshah8908
    @neelshah8908 3 года назад

    Woww i love your videos! Damn helpful they are!

  • @Shernicet
    @Shernicet 3 года назад

    Major keys right here! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @barrymcalister5133
    @barrymcalister5133 3 года назад

    I heard Clarke. 😻😻. Thank you so much for your wonderful videos.

  • @positive_energy8259
    @positive_energy8259 3 года назад +2

    I am so happy you exist! The holistic psychologist changed my life in many many ways. Thank you

  • @sunvavachi
    @sunvavachi 3 года назад +1

    This was a very good video. Your book will be good. :)

  • @larissahuyboom4313
    @larissahuyboom4313 3 года назад +1

    Thank you!! 🙏❣

  • @Everything-dr1wb
    @Everything-dr1wb 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you and God bless you 👍💯👂

  • @Julie-lz5hg
    @Julie-lz5hg 3 года назад +1

    You are a lifesaver, Nicole! How is this content free? Just pre-ordered your book! Are there any other ways to support you / your business?

  • @jyotivyas9286
    @jyotivyas9286 Год назад +1

    Thank you Dear Doctor👌💐😊😊

  • @inderpalghatora1507
    @inderpalghatora1507 3 года назад

    Really valuable thank you stay blessed x

  • @arkoudopournaro
    @arkoudopournaro Год назад

    Thank you so much!

  • @latinopianist01
    @latinopianist01 3 года назад +3

    Wish I knew about all of this before my recent relationship. Unfortunately lost someone I dearly valued, but we both walked away with things we both need to work on. Thanks for sharing this!

  • @MademoisellleK
    @MademoisellleK 2 года назад

    Thank you.

  • @narmin.zangana
    @narmin.zangana 3 года назад +1

    I am really love your videos and how you made them very simple 🥺💚
    Please tell me what kind of camera and Microphone that you used to made your videos 🙏 your videos helped me a lot thank you 🥺💚🙏
    I study psychology and you are my idol I really want to start a RUclips channel like you 🙏
    I appreciate any advice from you💜🧡💛❤💚💙
    Much much love from Iraq 🧡✋

  • @dougarnold7955
    @dougarnold7955 3 года назад

    Thanks.

  • @namesalltakenWTF
    @namesalltakenWTF 3 года назад

    Thank you

  • @kimrobinson916
    @kimrobinson916 3 года назад +2

    Wow- didn’t know safety/what is safe is important in any and all relationships

  • @jamlaw
    @jamlaw 2 года назад +2

    I really appreciate this video thank you! It makes more sense to me for a variety of relationships that didn't (or may not) fall into that "narcissist/abuse" category that seems to be dominating most of the trauma binding videos. Some of that has applied to me, but not all.
    I'm very curious how you might suggest some of this be applied to dating? I find the trauma bonding patterns I have can get kicked up in scenarios with new people or potential partners. And I want to address things openly and seriously as you suggest, but I also feel (fear?) it's too much to soon to apply, or expect, an intimate conversation with someone in an as-yet undefined relationship. Any thoughts on how to speak authentically during trauma triggering in dating without immediately trying to bond in order to not feel the anxiety? (Which I think is a trauma instinct I have, as well, haha!). Thank you.

  • @scottthomas5819
    @scottthomas5819 Год назад

    Yes

  • @maheshk1465
    @maheshk1465 3 года назад +3

    Can you do a video on how to discover our true potential in life?. Hope you will consider this.

  • @littleiodine9480
    @littleiodine9480 2 года назад +1

    Many of us do not have a friend or family member.

  • @justicejama888
    @justicejama888 3 года назад

    I looooooooooooooove you!!! Nicole

  • @thecryptobunker
    @thecryptobunker 2 года назад +2

    Any recommendations on whether I should try to heal with my parents ? They were and are totally emotionally absent. Never woke up and did the work at all they were too busy. And now there's nothing there.

  • @njah1590
    @njah1590 2 года назад +2

    Hi thank you I have a question. most advice tells us to leave the relationships and go no contact, of course this could mean leaving lots of people in your life! I see you do not suggest this and instead Take an approach of communication end conscious awareness. What if however the other parties are not able/willing to be part of this process?

    • @JessMariaDwyer
      @JessMariaDwyer Год назад

      Yes...I get what you are saying, narcissists will not work with you in this process. They will use your needs for safety against you.

  • @matanchen4598
    @matanchen4598 3 года назад

    the link to the book isn't complete

  • @bryanw5951
    @bryanw5951 3 года назад

    #2 and #3 are only possible if you actually have others in your life. So I’ll just scratch those from the list.

  • @icelma3014
    @icelma3014 3 года назад

    ❤️

  • @fazeelahhashmi9176
    @fazeelahhashmi9176 3 года назад

    ❤❤❤

  • @katydid594
    @katydid594 3 года назад

    I’d really like to watch, but this video is too busy for me visually... the list in the background, your contact info in the bottom left corner, the social media links, and the captions I cannot turn off... it is too much for my overloaded nervous system. 😟

  • @anaynierlpag
    @anaynierlpag 3 года назад

    You should know that your number in the description is incorrect/doesn't match the video!

  • @nathaliestragalis6947
    @nathaliestragalis6947 3 года назад +1

    It’s complicated...

  • @Lr8_youtube
    @Lr8_youtube 5 месяцев назад

    - we repeat the relationship pattern.
    -

  • @Nareynah
    @Nareynah Год назад

    I wanna start a band called Trauma Bonding, and make songs about how my mom didnt love me.

  • @Pooja-xg1ml
    @Pooja-xg1ml 3 года назад

    Ma'am...my unhealed wounds of rejection.abondenment,trust,betrayel,low self worth etc. Are attracting situations and people who reinforce nd mirror my wounds back to me.😭😭😖😖...now i m completely exhausted ..nd i m hving suicidal thoughts...i hope u can understand...ma'am plzzz help me out to heal my wounds. I'll be very thankful to you🙏🙏🙏🙏...I don't know the right way to heal from these wounds...plzzz reply ma'am🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @swim610
    @swim610 Год назад

    😥

  • @ezazkhan4233
    @ezazkhan4233 Год назад

    what are awrnesss

  • @pavanatanaya
    @pavanatanaya 3 года назад +3

    I just can't trust anymore

    • @dcny69
      @dcny69 3 года назад +2

      Start within. Can you trust yourself?

  • @pankajkanwadia9842
    @pankajkanwadia9842 2 года назад

    U need to have a better camera ... picture is not very clear

  • @skat911
    @skat911 2 года назад +3

    Unfortunately, this is NOT good advice for a person trauma bonded to a narcissist. Sharing this kind of information with an abuser only gives them more ammo to abuse !

  • @bigt4331
    @bigt4331 Год назад

    F-/ck I'm messed up for life.

  • @dremunozdrums8642
    @dremunozdrums8642 4 месяца назад

    But when you’re a man, you can’t talk about how you feel