History's Best(?) Couples - Valentine's Day Special
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- Опубликовано: 3 фев 2021
- Celebrate Valentine's Day with a look at some of the best couples in history. Well, "Best" is a stretch - definitely most entertaining - but the pairings on display today are FAR from healthy. Enjoy the slow descent into insanity that is "Me Discussing These Stories".
SOURCES & Further Reading: Suetonius' "Twelve Caesars", Plutarch's "Parallel Lives: Julius Caesar", "China: A History" by John Keay, "Song of Everlasting Sorrow" by Bai Juyi, Smithsonian Magazine & Biography.com entries on Marie Antoinette & Louis XVI.
Our content is intended for teenage audiences and up.
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Oops! Looks like Blue scheduled this video about ten hours early. Nobody panic! -R
Too late I panic
p a n i c
Video goes up 10 hours early: PANIK
I catch it immediately: Calm
It’s cool don’t stress!
panik
Marie was 15 when they married, and she spent nowhere near what some of the other nobles spent on clothes. Marie gets dunked on a lot, but it wasn't her fault. Her last words were to her executioner, apologizing for stepping on his toes.
A lot of women in positions of power get blamed for the crime of "some very rich man wanted to bone her when she was underage"
...
And WAY too many of them died when they were still kids.
@@Hey-Its-Dingo her husband was 15.
@@NapaCat So blame it on all the older nobility?
Also didn't they use his oldest son got him Sexually Assaulted by many prostitutes only for him to die of probably an STD or somethin
I recently watched an entire documentary on her. It was incredible what she went through before her execution.
Cato: Read the letter out loud
Caesar: um, yeah.. no
Cato: READ THE LETTER
Caesar: I really don’t think that’s a good idea
Cato: READ IT
Caesar: If you insist...
As the letter is being read . . .
Cato: You can stop now, Caesar.
Caesar: *keeps going*
Cato, positively writhing: P L E A S E
@@elijahpadilla5083 Caesar: *Keeps reading the letter, slowly*
Cato: *dies slowly *
Brutus (under his breath): One day you will pay for this...
@@clarenceonyekwere5428 Brutus: im so gonna stab this guy
@@4thScrivener on the fateful ides of March
Brutus: *stabs Caesar* For reading THAT LETTER
Caesar: How was that my fault? HOW.. *Dies of being blamed for something that wasn’t his fault... and a few stab wounds*
top ten pictures before disaster
"The emperor only had eyes for one person, his son"
*oh no*
" 's wife"
*oh ok*
dodged a bullet there
@@mozarteanchaos from a bullet to a hammer
not as bad, but still *oh no*
@@prawnchips9461 dodged a warhead but stepped on a landmine
Saying, "It's my son's wife," has the same energy as, "We're only adopted siblings."
"It's okay to be gay, but only if you're the top." Definitely sounds like the Romans. One part progressive one part mental gymnastics why it's okay for Rome to take everything but not the greeks
It was not mental gymnastics, it was a largely different values system.
They don't care if someone is Black, Womam or/and Atheist as long as they get the job done
Success is the ultimate paradime of Rome until KKKhristianity came
I wished Rome chose Industrialization instead of Christianization. The world would be a better place
@@christiandauz3742 No, Romans care if you're not Roman. They especially care if you're a woman. Can't say I know their policy on atheism but as soon as Khristianty started to take off they really hated it.
Sorry pagans didn't invent coal sooner (?)
@@Petrico94
History wouldn't change if Caesar was black. Washington on the other hand...
@@christiandauz3742 Is it still Washington if he's born black?? For that matter is it even still Caesar if he's born... what the hell are you putting in my head?
Caesar was "every man's woman and every woman's man"; even in bed the roman dictator proved adaptive.
He wasn't emperor....
@@tomaszzalewski4541 He was emperor in all but name
@@tomaszzalewski4541 Well he was a dictator of the republic due to the whole emergency action/powers thing. In that, he ruled as an emperor.dictator and allowed for Augustus to become emperor., with many textbook emperors taking his name as a title tzar/kaisar or conflated themselves with Caesar to reflect Caesar's style of rule etc. So while Rome, during his dictatorship, was a republic in name it functioned as an empire/dictatorship making him an emperor by proxy. You could of course make the argument that he died too soon ,but he did declare himself dictator for life ,and as we know that always has hawkish action. At any rate, even though Caesar acted as a emperor, I should have used dictator, thanks for correcting me though.
Lastly, Suetonius, the guy in the "every man's women" quote casually called him emperor in his book the "Twelve Caesar's" and was considered to be an emperor by peers like him. The only thing that prevented an official notation of the title was Caesar's untimely death; after all Rome had been stormed on before and it not like the guy who crossed the Rubicon and defeated Vercingetorix with the most galaxy brain strat ever couldn't overtake the senate. The only thing stopping him was a lack of time and the negative political impacts that Caesar would have suffered if it was done too quickly, tarnishing his political appearance. But doing authoritarian power grabs got him killed in the first place so I guess it wasn't meant to be.
P.S. the cult of Ishtar's practices were crazy and a good read to if your looking for more stuff along these lines.
@@tomaszzalewski4541 Correct. He just sat in a special, non throne, golden chair, and was instrumental to the selection of consuls over an entire empire.
EDIT: Just Caesar doing inconspicuous Caesar things.
We love a verse King.
"Everything is the World is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power."
uP
-Oscar Wilde (IIRC)
Well this is accurate to a fault!🤔😌😅
Wait why is this a line in Janelle Monáe's Screwed
Frank Underwood. You are a person of vulture.
"Why y'all being homophobic to Caesar?"
"Homophobic? Naw, its fine he's gay, he's just a bottom."
Impeccable
We do NOT stan this bottomphobia
No!!! Stan bottoms!!
Two types of people ^
@@UnfortunatelyTheHunger Do not spread your bottom agenda!
Normalise Bottom shaming/j
"Caesar! Are you passing notes in the Senate!"
"N-no!"
"I'm gonna have to send you to the Consul."
This comment is criminally underrated.
Why is this great and horrible at the same time
Brutus: "Is there anything you'd like to share with the class, Caesar?"
Caesar: "Ummm... nope"
Brutus: "Really? Why, embarassed?"
Caesar: "Oh no, I'm proud, this is for your sake"
@@will__mem9rno You say horrible... I say funny as hell...
Caesar really pulled a “your mama” on Brutus
Even worse, he apparently did it accidentally.
@@robertlewis6915 I'm not even gonna act surprised. That sounds just like what he'd do.
Isn't there a historical theory that Brutus was actually Cato's Wife's son by Caesar? So, the poor boy had to listen to his dad embarrass him in front of all his friends...
no wonder he wanted to stab him
Not only did he pull a “your mana” but he pulled the mother of all “your Mamas”
Romans: so you did it with a guy? cool
Dude: yeah, I was on bottom
Roman: HA! Gayyyyyyyy!
i want to see Romans' reaction on "power bottom"
Six seasons and a movie!
@@prawnchips9461 Indonesian
@@prawnchips9461 still receiving so still unacceptable
What if Caesar mentioned he topped from the bottom? What would they say then cuz I'm curious now lmao
Can we take a moment to appreciate how badly Marie Antonette has been treated over the centuries, she was blamed for everything wrong with France, as an out of touch aristocrat who was then guillotined and spent the next 300 years as the villain when irl she was just showy princess who didn’t know much about politics since she was a TEENAGER FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY!
Although, according to a documentary I watched once by Lucy Worsley (very good, you should check it out) she was actually quite politically savvy, things just kept going wrong because of the people around her.
Okay, okay, okay, I tried really really hard not to go full on history major nerd rant, but I gotta.
Marie Antoinette was actually smart, but was also 14 and distinctively NOT FRENCH. The Court of Versailles absolutely hated her because she was specifically an Austrian princess, and France and Austria were not buddies and did not have a history of being buddies. People straight up thought she was a spy for her brother (the HRE). Fun, really actually crappy story when you dig into it, story: at one point, a con-woman and her accomplice had tricked a clergyman to pay for a diamond necklace as a gift for Marie Antoinette, and had paid a prostitute to impersonate Marie Antoinette to get this diamond necklace from the clergyman. When the con fell apart and things came to light, Marie Antoinette was partially blamed for the affair despite being IMPERSONATED AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT (this affair is called the Diamond Necklace Affair btw, and there's a really bad historical drama movie about it that my French Revolution prof had us watch the trailer to before we could talk about the actual affair). The French absolutely hated Marie Antoinette, and its actually really really unfair to her and how common thought views her now.
@@kelseymedoff8472 Definitely, I didn’t mean to say she wasn’t intelligent, just not the vain cruel person history and media portrays her as, yeah I saw Extra Credits talk about the affair of the diamond necklace, she didn’t do anything wrong but was blamed for all of Frances problems because of her being a scary foreigner with mind control boobs.
History has a serious problem of demonizing women as we see with our girl Cleopatra.
@@seanmcloughlin5983 "Demonizing women"...? Please, your programming is showing.
1. "History" has no problems or agendas. "Historians", on the other hand, do have agendas. Contemporaneous accounts tend to be more valued due to higher perceived accuracy, but they are the least likely to be objective and unbiased.
2. Cleopatra was a big player going for all the marbles in an unforgiving game. If you believe for one second that she would shy away from using her mind control boobs to her advantage, you should not be allowed to play outside. The fact that she, by all accounts, managed to seduce not one but two married men who just so happen to be two of the most powerful men in the then known world (Ceaser and Anthony) and persuade them to aid her in attaining the throne and keeping it speaks not only to the power of said mind control boobs but also her skill and willingness to use them.
3. Scapegoating, character assassination, black propaganda are tools as old as time. The victors get to pay for the "histories" to be written. Cleopatra was not demonized because she was a woman, she was demonized (by roman sources) because she lost. Elizebeth won and was "Gloriana". Catherine the "Great" won and was lionized. Victoria ruled a world-spanning Empire and named an age.
Boy I love Mary Antwanet
"Anything is more interesting than this vapid bedroom mania."
Me, an asexual: *solemn nod and sigh*
Hey, as a straight person that is too scared of emotional damage to get a GF, I can relate with you. Just know that God loves you! :)
I'm not even ace but I still get sick of people using sex as a substitute for. You know. An actual interesting plot.
me, a demisexual: *gives grunt of sharing awkwardness and pain* *big sigh*
Me, as a fellow ace: yup. I'd prefer dragons :)
@sugar kooky Everything is better with cake XD
History's true greatest couple: Diogenes and his barrel
Not tragic enough XD
@@marocat4749 How about Diogenes and his bowl? I heard they went through a nasty break up, but that could just be rumors
@@bforblitz4847 Heard something too,poor bowl. Bowl deserves more.
It is said he was in it all the time.
Him and public jerking /shitting when wanting to make a statement is cute too
“The real sorrow here is the decline of good governance.”
One of blue’s biggest fears, that and the ocean
Wait, you're telling me he's afraid of the BIGGEST, BLUEST THING ON EARTH?!
And modern history
@@vice-virgo9635
THE DEEPER YOU GO THE MORE NIGHTMARES THERE ARE! THERE'S ALWAYS A BIGGER FISH!
@@vice-virgo9635 he had to watch Aquaman on a tiny screen inorder to not pass out from some of the scenes
Second only to the fear of inadequate dome maintenance
Louis XVI had neither "pee pee too big" nor "pee pee too small." He had a condition where skin was connected on his member in a way that made "standing at attention" painful. It was only after Marie Antoinette's big brother came and realized the situation that Louis allowed the surgery his doctors had been trying to convince him to undergo for years previously. Badda bing, badda boom, their first child, a daughter, was born the next year.
He suffered from pee pee sweater too small
@@unlucky_2nd897 😞
@@unlucky_2nd897 i love that description for this, err, INTERESTING medical condition
Dude got his pp sweater trimmed pre anesthesia. The only pain killer he would have had access to was booze and gritting his teeth. So he received big ouch time.
why did you have to tell me this
"Okay to be gay, but only if you were the top"
*bottom bullying intensifies*
Careful...
They might like it.
@@vedritmathias9193 that's what I'm counting on 😁
@@vedritmathias9193 😶
“Why can’t you just let this poor library ace live his life?”
I never thought I’d relate so hard to a sentiment directed at Louis XVI
I mean, I related to when he got his head y'know
I'd relate more to him if he didn't hate cats
pretty sure he was speaking about himself, but okay
I feel called out 😭
When he said ace I just thought he meant someone who thrived in a library. It somehow didn't occur to my dumb brain that he meant asexual
"The only thing Caesar couldn't smash was Parthia." - somehow deserves its own T-shirt.
To be fair, it's only because he died before getting the chance to make his attempt.
@@Betrix5060 That's probably for the better. It's pretty likely that he would share the fate of Crassus and get his heavy infantry shredded by the Parthian horse archers. Would've suprised them more than those Charlies ever suprised my squad...
@@FortunateSon-mo9zi I mean he had both Crassus's and Anthony's experiences to learn from. Not to say he would've done spectacularly, but the Romans were nothing if not adaptable.
@@FortunateSon-mo9zi I don't think so. Crassus got himself into that situation by carelessly marching into desert. Caesar was always patient and careful to not put himself into disadvantage. Plus he had Crassuso's experience to learn from, so he would know what to expect from parthians. Romans were extremely adaptable and rarely made the same mistake twice and given how smart Caesar was I really doubt he would repeat the same mistakes.
@@FortunateSon-mo9zi Look up Publius Ventidius Bassus, who was a mere officer of Caesar... Also, ffs Cassius defeated the Parthians just one year after Carrhae...
Can we get F's in the chat for Blue, who literally had to research the dong size of a dead king?
F
F
F
F
F
“The emperor only had his eyes on one woman, his sons wife”. This is how you get assassinated in Tang Dynasty China. But the son didn’t do that, so big props to him for both not starting the civil war and not joining it once someone else started it.
His son probably had a brain, extremely rare in that environment.
Wu Zetian would be concerned by and also somewhat proud of Lady Yang, I imagine
He had other wives and concubines to commiserate with.
@@sarahcole9661 A very similar thing happened to Wu Zetian herself. She entered the courted as a minor concubine of the very old Emperor, and got yoinked by his son, the Crown Prince. Though he waited for the old man to die before officially marrying her.
@@adamwu4565 yes, that’s why I brought her up
Julius Caesar: *bangs a king*
All of Rome: Silence, Bottom!
@Saiyasha27 nope he found his daddy
i am very sorry for that joke
@Saiyasha27 so he was a power bottom
@@erikgardner4777 He claims decent from Aphrodite, I'm guessing it's a family trait.
@@jahajesper Mithridaddy?
WHY CAN'T WE JUST CALL HIM A SWITCH-
“The Emperor only had eyes on one woman, his son’s *wife*,”
You know that’s not the *worst* choice...
At least they didn't get all Habsburg in this one.
...Oh. Oh.
@@vice-virgo9635 Yeah.
"tell me about it" says Oedipus (who hopes he's answering in the right direction )
God damn these anime plots are getting really realistic
This video is honestly so validating to my little aro/ace heart between Blue's realism rant and his declaraction that Louis XVI was a library ace.
Marie Antoinette waking at noon to hot chocolate before frolicking in lace, silk, and pearls through her romantic cottagecore garden is how I want to live my life.
Historical speaking...their condition wasn't clean..
No you don't. Because that money was made off the back of 95% of the population, huge debt, and also slavery.
@@samrevlej9331 Speak for yourself lmao
@@samrevlej9331 luxury always occurs at someone’s expense…
@@samrevlej9331, you know as well as I do that anyone, including you & I, would gladly become the Monarch of an empire of their choice and engorge themselves in their new slave-gotten luxuries.
Sappho was so iconic that an entire sexuality was named after her place of origin. Imagine being this cool
and women that are in love with women are generally called sapphics!
I also love that the mlm term is Achillean, and wlw is sapphic
thanks 😎/j
We live for sapphic bisexuality
Or that she was the only female gay writer anybody could think of, until recently?
"This is why I can't stand the hyperfixation on famous figures OR media's obsession with edgy 'realism' for that matter, because it's almost always just SEX. Find any other interest! Anything is more interesting than this vapid bedroom mania."
YES! Thank you! Preach!
This exactly! Media hyper-focuses on sex like it's the only thing that matters in life and as if everyone is destined to turn into a drooling idiot over it. Like damn ya'll ain't got hobbies? Friends? Literally anything else going on?? Smh
Like poison man, he has a really interstiing hobby unrelated. And nero was an actor and artist.
Sure sex is cool and all but like, yeah, why is it such a big point to news media or creative media? There's so much more to life than sex, even though it's important for making more humans, and keeping yourself sane
As an ace librarian myself, I approve this message.
Because, well, sex sells and a lot of people love to talk about it a tad too much? Not unhappy by being the case, for obvious reasons, but I can understand the annoyance since while I love seeing it, I'm not a biggest fan of talking, and when it comes to famous figures, I tend to go for a more machiavellan, cinical and cold aproach, which is exactly why I watch OSP, because they do the exact opposite and it saves me for being gloom and doom every time I think about history, which I do quite a lot, so... yeah.
"LET THIS POOR LIBRARY ACE LIVE HIS LIFE!"
Why did you call me out like this ;-;
+
"Why can't you just let this library ace live his life?"
Me (an ace person): ...Oh shit.
new theory: the French revolution happened because everyone was jealous of Louis' massive baguette
Lol
Considering the stereotypes of French lovemaking and changing governments, I feel this has a good cultural basis.
Some clarity: Louis’ baguette wasn’t big, it’s more like the crust was a bit too crispy. He had phimosis, which narrows the foreskin tightly. Because of that, an erection, which would normally pull the foreskin back, would cause immense pain and sometimes bleeding. The surgery to fix the issue was little more than an adult circumcision.
@@C.V317 Sacre bleu, that's horrifying
@@C.V317 thank you for the gross clarofication which we all *DO NOT* need
As a wise man once said: “learning is fun, and learning demands sacrifice.”
Blood for the book god
hey hey people
@@twoscarabsintheswarm9055 I just rewatched violence for like the tenth time today
@@potatonope9774 *Y E S*
@@willphoenix5464 Sseth here
"Why can't you just let this poor library ace live his life??"
MOOD
Agreed. And as a librarian, I want that on a shirt (I'm demi, myself, but still it's on the spectrum)
Not to be offensive, but what does asexuality have to do with libraries?
@@faithwright7958 maybe they just happen to be a librarian, who happens to be asexual?
@@faithwright7958 I don't know a ton about the asexual community, but I'm guessing "library ace" is a term for an introverted asexual who prefers books & studying over people.
@@SeraphimCramer average introvert
You know, if they had mentioned Marie's age when we learned about the French Revolution in history I can confidently say a lot of students would've had *very* different opinions about her.
Agreed! Makes you feel even more sorry for these two... Louis was only 15 when they married I believe, an age where lots of guys are only just starting to get past the "ick girl cooties" stage! As for having a whole prurient gang of courtiers stalking your teenage love life & knowing that anything you do or don't do will a) impact the royal succession and b) affect how well your subjects think you're reigning... as Blue would say, *That's a yikes!* 😬
caesar is a bottom and king louis had a package so big he couldnt hit. why did i need to know these things LMAOO
We aren't sure about Caesar. Trusting his opponent's propaganda is like believing that Clinton really kept children caged in a pizza parlour.
And maybe the queen of France was a bit too comfortable with her noblewomen "friends", her rivals said back then.
Also, if i'm not mistaken, the issue with Luis wasn't strictly the size but also a pretty bad case of phimosis. Not nearly as funny.
@@Alias_Anybody well for my own sanity I'm not googling thimrosis
@@Alias_Anybody mind if I ask what phimrosis is? I do not want to Google that.
"Every woman's man, and every man's woman" is one of the best lines I've heard in awhile. I guess Rome just didn't appreciate switches.
Would that be too bold as a T-Shirt line?
@@gewreid5946 On someone who looks like Orlando Bloom? No. On everyone else? Yes.
Rome is all for domination
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 But being dominated is a big no-no!
"The only one he had his eyes on was his son's wife."
*"That's a yikes."*
Oh yeah
I read history for the plot, not the sex scenes
-Ace history nerd
Romans gay love life sounds like an aggressive wrestling match both yelling "I'm a top"
Not gonna lie, that sounds kind of hot,
Proably, if media is to believed, wrestling was popular too.
"I'm gay" 😐
"I bottom" 😠
"Power bottom" 🙂
@@ThingsStuffington yup definitely
Pretty much
"Morning is a stretch, because she woke up around noon"
Big mood
From another comment, she was 14 and he was 15 at the time, so not really surprised lol. She's literally a teen partying it up, while he's awkward and wants to spend his time alone.
Finding out that Caesar was made fun of not because he was bisexual but because he was a bottom is honestly the best thing I've ever heard in my life🤣🤣🤣🤣
Cesar: I can ASSURE you, you do NOT want me to read you this letter.
Cato: do it
Ceasar: bet 😒
"Or deeply destructive at worst"
Goddamn it Aphrodite, can't you just chill out for once?
Aphrodite: "But... cute couple!"
Everyone else: No, no, no- APHRODITE DROP HELEN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME-
Aphrodite Areia (Aphrodite the Warlike): *eyes filled with the fires of a 1000 burning ships*, Just try and stop me.
There is an entire video on this channel about how the answer to that is NO
Aphrodite: *drops Helen over troy* ‘whoops-‘
"Every woman's men, and every man's women" im gonna put that on my tinder bio
lol nice
One interesting and weird historical couple I once learned about was Edward the Black Prince and his wife: Joan of Kent. They grew up together and they got engaged without telling the king, but that's not even the most interesting part: while she was known as the most beautiful woman in England, the English Nobility didn't like that Edward married Joan for two reasons: her being an English Noblewoman meant they gained no French land from this, and Joan was a widow with a *very* bizarre marital past:
When she was a teenager, she eloped with a knight (Thomas Holland) who later had to leave to fight in the Hundred Years War. While he was away, her parents, not knowing about the elopement, arranged her to marry this other guy that was after her family's wealth (they were the richest landowners in England outside the monarchy), and Joan had to keep her mouth shut out of fear that, if she revealed that she already had a husband while he was away on campaign, her family would essentially write a few letters and say, "Not anymore." Once Thomas returned to England, she immediately declared that he was her real husband. The matter was taken to the Church and the guy her parents had married Joan off to actually tried to have her held captive to keep her from testifying, but the Church ordered him to release her. Rather than rule in favour of the angry, wealthy and influential noble families, the Church ruled in favour of the happy couple and said that the elopement was a valid marriage so the second marriage was invalid and void. So Joan's 'second' marriage was annulled and she and Thomas were ordered to be married in the church.
So... yeah; the happy couple got to stay together, and then Edward married her after Thomas died.
Fun fact: In Finland and Estonia Valentine's Day is called "Friend's Day".
It would honestly be hilarious if the countries of Estonia and Finland married. Not even the people, just the countries. And when the priest says, "You may kiss the (insert gender here)," they just force some of the soil of the two countries together like a kiss. TBH I'd pay to see that.
@@FortunateSon-mo9zi You just need to search for some Hetalia fanfic or fanart.
@@seneca983 the fact that this was my first thought
In Israel it’s “Love Day” or “Love Holiday”.
“Lovers Holiday” if you wanna be extra fancy
That’s actually adorable
Poor Cato... got the whole “That would be your sister” routing.
Julius *to Cato* :Remember this moment next time I tell you to drop it.
Caesar: Now listen up Cato. Or steamy love letters starring your half sister will be the SECOND worst thing to happen to you.
@@ironlynx9512 The Cassius has already entered the base.
“Indeed, and now Caesar is here to **** US.”
@@starwarsnerd100 “YOU SEE WHAT HE HAS DONE TO POMPEY!”
Blue: "Of those 3,000 concubines, the emperor only had eyes for one person..."
Me: "Oh, that's nice!"
Blue: *"... his son's wife."*
Me: 0.0
Yikes
I mean she was one of the 4 great beauties of China not that it justifies anything but kinda explains it
@@NoName-dx1no "The Emperor's wife is one of the most beautiful women ever" absolutely sounds like propaganda XD
@@Rick586 that kinda does lmao, I mean that doesn’t stop the emperor from simpingfor her lol. Also I’d like to point out that she’s the most beautiful for that time period if she were in modern day China I doubt she’d be as complimented for being so beautiful because the beauty standards in China right now is having a skinny figure while in the Tang Dynasty it was being chubby and having some fat on you, so obviously the ones who are rich would be in the 4 greatest beauties list lol.
@@NoName-dx1no tang dynasty beauty standard
乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚
It's funny that Blue thinks he's dunking on Caesar, when he's really just highlighting how much of a stud he was
"How our disaster species survived this long" is a question I ask myself every day
"also discovered _gay_ first person poetry"
me sipping coffee at that moment; * almost chokes *
"I am frankly shocked our disaster species was every allowed to make it this far" my new favorite osp quote
I mean, he's right...If you pause during the bit that shows up for a max of 2 seconds, I kinda agree with the whole bit at the bottom.
A t-shirt of that would make bank.
Merch! Merch! Merch! Merch! Merch!
Granted, people were obsessed with Louis' sex life because an heir to the throne means security for his line
It seems some people don't know what a succession crisis is.
@@blackvial oh, Blue knows VERY WELL what a succession crisis is.
@@aquamarinerose5405 I was more talking about people in the comments
Since locksmithing (I think that’s the term???) was Louis’ hobby people would gossip that the key was struggling to find the lock if you catch their drift.
I actually heard a different story from my Revolutions teacher about how Marie and Louis got caught:
Allegedly, Louis wanted to stop at a local tavern while on the run with his family to get something to eat. And of course being the overly-sheltered and pampered royal that he was... he didn’t exactly blend in.
Though the kicker comes when (again, according to my teacher) Louis payed for their meal with money THAT HAD HIS FACE STAMPED ON ONE SIDE.
Like; bro that’s like if George Washington got resurrected and tried for pay for a soda with 3$ in quarters (for the Americans out there) and expected nobody to notice him casually walking around in a Wendy’s.
I understand like, “How else were they supposed to pay??” But seriously you’d think he could have just sent the carriage driver or one of his lesser-known family members in to grab some take-out.
The lesson from the capture of Louis XVI was don’t escape in a fancy carriage if you’re fleeing the country. 50 years later King Louis Philippe successfully escaped to England in a plain carriage.
And don't stop to have a lavish meal at an inn because you're feeling hungry...
@@NouriaDiallo Also don't pack a huge goddamn wine wrack and the crown jewels....seriously...
@@NouriaDiallo And don't pay for the meal with a coin that *your own face* is printed on.
How did Charles X avoid being killed? He might have been more hated than Louis Philippe became (LP had many of the deposed king's ministers thrown in prison also).
@@thunderbird1921 Charles X probably used his telepathy to avoid his death, like he did in the third movie.
Imagine being one of three thousand concuibines realizing that literally not one of you was good enough for him XD
Well, could have been worse. Could have been a peasant
I should think most of them would be relieved; it's unlikely many had chosen that career...
I think they would've been fine. They get to live in luxury and look at pretty girls all day and pursue whatever hobby they want. That's the dream
being a chinese concubine seems sick af. your whole job is to pull off bomb outfits and look good all the time while skillfully getting away with the occasional political assassination. i would trade a thousand office jobs for that.
Ehhh... I'd say that despite of not receiving the Emperor's favor, concubines get to live a life of luxury.
"Cursed with forbidden knowledge"
Some sort of deal with an eldritch horror? Nope, French Monarch Dong.
Blue out of context: "Anyway, as if the situation couldn't get worse-(crash!)-THEN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION HAPPENED!"
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
'Let the poor library Ace live his life!'
Mood, honestly
God that’s me trying to write a dissertation in a pandemic
@@emilybarclay8831 good luck on your dissertation!
@@me0101001000 thanks :)
Next Year: History's Most Murderous Couples
Genghis khan and borte
Remember how Borte was impregnated by her kidnappers yet Temujin kept the kid
🙌 THIS 🙌
Hasn't he already done a video in the Borgias?
Yes
"Why can't you let this poor library ace live his life"
sir, you just summarized my entire life
How did Blue leave out that Caesar got called "The Queen of Bithynia" too lmfao
Future historians researching the present won't be able to tell if that bit about dropkicking couples is a joke or not because Blue sounds as serious as he always does. Amazing presentation.
Are you accusing him of being overly sarcastic??
@@logosgal IT FINALLY HAPPENED!
Do you not dropkick opposing couples on Valentine's days?
@@mindlessmusings1221 No, that's what the bat is for.
300 years from now: "The 21st Century Historian, Blue, put it best when..."
10:41 it looks like even Marie is rolling her eyes at them at this point
"People still hated Marie Antoinette more"
Marie: "figures" 🙄
I can just FEEL the pain in Blue's voice as he says PP Too Big
Isn't this channel just solely dedicated to explaining how our disaster of a species survived this long
Explaining or just being very confused like the rest of us?
@@FirebladesSong you have a point there
@@FirebladesSong Overly Confused Productions
Let's just hope that alien species found about us, but happen to be more inteligent, so they may actually know the answer, 'cause cleary we're too of a mess to understand ourselves, let alone save ourselves
We're probably doomed, but yeah this channel just describes how we managed to make it this far.
I cheered when you said you’re doing a history maker on Sappho
I so want this right now. Ummm ...No Pressure, Blue.
Me too! Eagerly waiting!
Same
Right?! ^_^
What a great self-own.
"I demand you read that letter aloud!"
"You really don't want that."
"No, I really *really* do."
"Well... okay, then. Don't say I didn't warn you."
The phrase “subsidizing my suffering” is just... it’s so good, I need to use that in my life
This really should be histories most cursed couples
Ha, You haven't seen a properly cursed historic couple until you've seen Abelard and Heloise.
@@Dave_Sisson For those not familiar with the story, well... Heloise's dad made Abelard do the snip snip.
“Men of Rome, watch out for your wives! We’re bringing the bald adulterer home!”
I wish I was half as sassy as the Romans
My man Louis XVI just keeping within the law. Mind you he married Marie when she was 14, so the fact that they waited till she was 21, seven years later to have a kid is just down right hilarious to me.
(I know they didn't wait intentionally, but I still find it funny)
Well remember that when she was 14 he was 15, so just about a year older. They were both too young.
"Why can't you just let this poor library ace live his life?"
Because he's the ruler of a hereditary monarchy. His sex life was a matter of political importance. While having an heir doesn't guarantee you won't have a succession crisis, not having an heir will guarantee that you do.
Well if you have a well-respected relative who everyone wants to be the next king having the heir might ruin what would have been a smooth transition of power and start the succession crisis. Not the situation Louis was in, but there's really no winning with monarchical succession.
True.
Philetaerus handled not begetting heirs quite well
He had a perfectly good younger brother Philippe Duke du Orléans.
He could have abdicated in favor of his brother when his nephew was born or just made Philippe his official heir.
Crowns passing from brother to brother is pretty normal.
@@CarRadio572 Considering the last time that happened was during the Religious Wars and it caused even more chaos with alternate claims to the throne, no, it was not a good memory.
Minor nitpick: Austria didn't have a queen. Maria Theresa was arch-duchess of Austria in her own right (although she also held the titles of queen of Bohemia, Hungary, .... and lots of other titles), but she styled herself as Empress (of the Holy Roman Empire), because she got her husband Francis elected Holy Roman Emperor (since only a man could hold that title).
Yes that was quite disappointing
I think she was also technically 'King' of Hungary.
@@runningcommentary2125 you're thinking of Jadwiga, 'King' of Poland- Maria Theresia was apostolic Queen Regnant of Hungary
Yeah, calling her queen of Austria is weird, de jure she was arch-duchess and de facto everybody called her Empress, even her arch-nemesis Fritz the Great.
@@runningcommentary2125 Would that be a political title situation like in the Enchanted Forest Chronicles, where King of the dragons is the name of the job and has nothing to do with gender?
blue's text rant about sex in historical realism made me, a history loving ace, very happy
Not even ace, but I feel so validated by it.
What is an "ace"? would google it, but I have a feeling that it would conflict with other more mainstream definitions of it
@@7emidio short for asexual!!
@@Dark14Fairy OH, NOW I GET IT. sorta, for I'm not one, but even I know sexuality often is, well distracting. Most get over because they enjoy it, but if one does not, all it remains is the discraction, and then being annoyed from it is only natural
Time stamp?
I was hoping to hear about Empress Theodora and Emperor Justinian the 1st, or famous historical figures that really did love each other.
I was hoping for some love for Francis I and Maria Theresa, a true power couple
His first Valentines video
@@johnfleming4886 Yeah damn they would have even been relevant in the whole revolution thing, too
This channel needs to be suggested as a teaching aid for every kid with ADHD. This would have saved my life as a kid. 🔥
At school, my teacher taught me Marie-Antoinette way-of-life bankrupted France to the point we did the Revolution ! I know I was a kid but come on ! I could have understand concept of war, crop failure, financial crisis and shitstorming about rich kids.
Hope teachers nowaday don't say that anymore.
Let them eat cake
No way a single woman could bankrupt an entire country. That just sounds like excuses.
I mean she did spend a fuck ton of the court budget
@@gorrilazbro1330 yeah but historians did count and it was not more crazy than what our current poticians spent. France was already in financial crisis due to US war and the two precedent kings's government. Building Versaille left a huge National Debt bigger than Marie-Antoinette
@@KumaoftheForest It's a BRIOCHE, petit margoulin ! 😁😂
(This one is fake news btw)
Blue: "Did you ever hear the Tragedy of King Louis the Magnum Dong?"
I wouldn’t blame you. It’s a story teachers don’t tell
@@witheredbonnie9268 1. *It's not a story a teacher would tell you
2. (continuing) It's an Overlysarcastic legend.
@@witheredbonnie9268 Actually, my high school history teacher told the class about it; it wasn't that it was big, but that the foreskin was too stiff, causing immense pain and bleeding.
@@matthewmuir8884 he should have said ouch pp deformed, also Jesus that sounds terrible
@@Josh-zx3rc Yeah; though the good news for him was that it was easily fixable via a bit of surgery, and after he got the surgery, they started having kids.
Wishing all my fellow aces a very happy Valentine's Day doing exactly whatever you want to do! Thanks for taking this bullet for us, Blue.
Wow, related to the “leave the poor library Ace alone” way too hard
So Roman politics was basically the same as a middle school locker room
lol ya pretty much
Feels like hardly anything’s changed lol
Except for fewer murders
I'd agree with that, all the petty arguments and short-sighted decisions. God, it reminds me of the First Crusade.
@@FortunateSon-mo9zi I guess not working together is just in European nature
@@Mike-ij4rq I guess so...
"Every woman's man, and every man's woman" 😂 that's actually hilarious
This video is just "I'm so done with love" aromantic energy and I'm living for it.
Ironic, given that he’s about to get married.
as a demiro, yeah, miss me with that shit
@@Darkkrebs he and his wife came out as ace a while ago ^^
@@nikanika439But the comment said aro
When you said lust can bring down a ruler and an entire empire and then showed that map of China, I IMMEDIATELY thought of Yang Guifei lmaoooooo
Honestly, she's greatly maligned because she had little to no control over her situation and all the decisions (choosing to get distracted, choosing to delegate work, choosing to neglect the empire, choosing to get in a relationship with his son's wife, etc.) were really just made by the emperor.
The last time I was this early, Constantinople was being sacked by the venetians.
If you mean 1204 then it was not the Venetians it was the crusaders to place a Byzantine prince on the throne because he promised money
The last time I was this early the Persians were sailing up the Aegean.
Last time I was this early, Blue was burning the library of Alexandria
🤐😫🙈🙉🙊
Too soon.
Cyan: "Hey, honey, are you okay?"
Blue: "No."
It's a good thing she has her, because otherwise he wouldn't be able to look at a cake again.
The slave that rode with Caesar in triumphs would say, "everyone knows you're a bottom" instead of the usual "remember you're human".
"cornelia, who died in 69 bc, nice" that shouldn't have got me that good but it did haha
We need a "Parthia, the only thing Ceasar couldn't smash" shirt.
And possibly a 3 legged Louis the 16th, but that might be going too far.
Parthia*
@@robertlewis6915 fixed it. Thanks.
Three legged Louis the 16th camp chair. XD You're welcome. XD
@@Maninawig You're welcome.
Also, I just realized Caesar is misspelled.
@@robertlewis6915 twas spelled phonetically lol. Thanks for the update.
"The only thing Caeser couldn't smash was Parthia" Holy f*ck that's accurate
Lol
I had read somewhere that Louis had some form of ailment that made having sex uncomfortable for him. If that turned out to be a euphemism for PP too big, I'm going to be mad.
11:19 Well, you know what they say: "It was the best of times, it was the blursed of times."
“Ouch pp too big”
The internet has lied to me.
*Patting your shoulder* Don't worry. Happens to the best of us.
F in the chat
@@twoscarabsintheswarm9055 F for big pp Louie
Rule 34?
F
Okay that incident with Caesar and the letter almost made me die laughing
It obviously wasn't his first time speaking publicly, but it may have been the first time he read a letter before the forum.
Caesar, to himself: "Eh, why not? I may as well take a stab at it"
@@vice-virgo9635 "stab at it"
Heh.
6:04 okay that clip is BEGGING to be taken out of context
I've been thinking about this raw Marie Antoinette quote, and this seems like a good place to put it.
"I was a queen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long."
*Blue brings up tragedy*
Me: Ten bucks says it's in France
*Blue says it's Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette*
Me: TWENTY bucks says he's bringing up his pp
You should go to Los Vegas
It could be worse - Nicholas II and Alexandria.
I love how blue mostly does the valentine’s specials cause we all know damn well red does ANYTHING to stay away from that romantic stuff
And honestly i don't blame her, because same
I’m aromantic but I’m still a sucker for this mushy romantic crap.
Yes. The Night goddess must be protected!
To be fair, there's already so much romantic/ couple-y stuff in myths and legends, and she even did a video on romance tropes in literature. Blue gets so little romance in his subject all he can do is gush about Venice.
She should also chip in from her perspective
9:48 Oh yeah, as an Ace myself, I super-feel that entire rant.
Anyway, thank you for your suffering, Blue. Not only was this absolutely hilarious, but it's also loaded with VERY memable moments and I really appreciate it. XD
"The real sorrow is the decline of good governance' is top grade t-shirt material, there.