Story 2: Holy sexist double standards... If it was a WOMAN who said, "I'm too tired" and he tried to say; "I don't care, I still want intimacy," and if the woman had told a husband that she expected a BETTER ATTITUDE towards being told NO MEANS NO, everyone would be all for telling the woman GOOD FOR YOU, "You don't own your husband intimacy when you're exhausted." If a WOMAN wants intimacy, she ABSOLUTELY DESERVES it because OTHERWISE you aren't meeting her needs. I'm in SHOCK how many times this happens on Reddit.
That's reddit for you. 97% of the time the men are in the wrong, even when they do exactly what a woman does that gets her praise. In stories like this, he's the AH because he didn't give her what she wanted and "deservered" for being a woman. As a woman, I find it ridiculous.
I had to lol at that too. Next year OP should just wake wife up with boner and tell her she's getting her present. No other presents, no party or cake.
Story 2: NTA. … Yes. Believe it or not men can be way too tired for intimacy too. And yes, I feel like if you plan multiple things at the request of your partner, you can get a darn pass.
Story 2: NTA and WTF is wrong with the commenters did they just skim down and see OP just waved his wife off for a nap because he overworked himself to give her exactly what she wanted.
But but its her birthday.. my birthday is in the busy time of the year for my partner. Now i have nothing with my birthday anyway. But i respect that he doesn't do anything than for me. In those months i worry because he works eat sleep etc. OP sounds like my partner in those months and has a wife that don't care because she is importent.
Agreed, the wife just can't be pleased. "As my REAL birthday presents..." Jesus, after all he'd done for her! So greedy and entitled, I'm actually angry.
The wife’s attitude screams “it’s everything or nothing at all!”. OPs request was reasonable and she could have the nookie and rub later. She chose to have a tantrum. I’m also betting she had a mental schedule for OP, not brought up to him, and he’s to follow step by step. As another commenter said, curious to know what she does for his birthday?
Perfect solution for s1. Pay back the property tax directly to the state. The owner must repay you or lose the house directly to the person paying the property tax.
This, specially if there are no kids involved, point at the door, you either stay and don't ever mentation money and your family again, or we gonna get a divorce.
OP only sucks for not getting anything in writing. Moving forward, I know easy to say as a fly on the wall, I would separate my finances and tell dear wifey if she wants to loan her sister money, she can out of her own funds.
I'd bail her out... Loan her the $30K, but with a deed of trust for $105,000 (plus interest). She'd have to pay it off if she ever sold the home or got a bank loan on it. Plus, OP could always foreclose and take the house. 😄
@@kristineguetschow9134 because SIL shouldn’t be expecting him to loan her money. Even if she isn’t at fault, she knows that her parents screwed OP over. Plus she doesn’t even give the courtesy to ask himself but is going through the wife
If it's feasible, and desireable to op, they should swap homes. This is assuming OP's mortgage is paid off and the taxes are lower, and they are located near enough respective worksplaces and schools etc. OP gets the house he invested in (and it's worth a lot of money), and doesn't have to hand out money in perpetuity, sil gets an affordable home, and wife gets her cherished childhood home. win all round. But get EVERYTHING properly documented by a lawyer.
Story 2: all of the YTA are way too emotional, OP did so much for his wife, yet she complained saying she never gets what she wants…. Bruh op is NTA and the wife needs to grow up
Yes, he did so much. Made reservations at a bed and breakfast. Invited people. Bought jewelry. However, maybe he could have put in effort in the intimacy part. Honestly, I hate big parties and foot rubs. But, I'd certainly prefer a back massage over a party, plus it costs nothing. But OP would be too tired.
@@christinebenson518It’s amazing how Reddit always blames the man no matter what he does. His wife sounds childish and entitled. Sheesh….modern women! 🙄
Story2:NTA!! Dude just threw her a fabulous birthday. WTH! Why is the wife in tears over a foot rub? Dude is TIRED. Wife is ridiculous and so were the YTA opinions.
I was thinking of an early South Park episode where Cartman dictated everything he wanted for his birthday down to who gave him what. When someone couldn’t find the gift he wanted and improvised, Cartman had a tantrum and shut the party down
OP stated the house was worth over $1 million, so $30k a year in taxes isn't shocking. I know people living in high tax areas who pay just under $10k a year for homes worth $400k.
Story 1: if the original plan was for the house to sold so Op could recoup his & wife’s money & the siblings each would get a share, why can’t the sister sell it & downsize. Was everyone scamming Op from the start.
@@piyam5000yeah nice of you to say it ... Since now they dont want to loose the house of the familly maybe the plan didnt change and they never intent to sell it/give back the money ... soo true .
No kidding. At that age, they can help with getting groceries by tagging along, but that's vastly different from actually doing it on their own. And she didn't even give the OP money. Yeah, it's hard being a single mom, but why didn't she stock up on groceries on her non-custodial days?
Story 3: I understand how you feel, he totally betrayed you and trapped you with a child you probably wouldnt have had if you knew he was just going to dip out. That being said, youre stuck with him, he is your childs father, but that doesnt mean you have to make anything easy for him. If he wants to be in the kids life, HE has to make the effort. If he fights for custody, you unfortunately have to give it to his lying cheating butt.
Or, she's upset that the Baby Trap failed and that he's trying to stay away to not have any connection with OP, only if and when the kid is born; and hopefully he gets a paternity test. He's also such with her, a jealous and petty ex that isn't happy that he's moved onto another relationship. He has to be in the kid's life, not hers or her personal problems. The kid isn't born yet so he isn't needed; she can handle herself or go with her family or friends. If the kid is his, he should fight for custody, and pay child support. If she tries anything stupid like parental alienation or being a harpy, the Guy needs to catalogue everything so the kid knows in the future that OP made them fatherless by her choice
Story 1: I blame the in-laws for all of this, they screwed over OP knowing he couldn’t do anything about it, gave the youngest how she can’t afford, and on top of everyone else not having an inheritance. They now have to pay for a house they don’t own otherwise their sister ends-up homeless and they lose the family the family home. I mean, how long is everyone going to to keep paying for their sit there to live in the house? Now you’re the bad guy because you don’t want to help pay for a house that was supposed to be sold so you would get your money back. Clearly not over it and it’s unfair that your wife is forcing you to keep helping her family when you’re upset that they screwed you like that. And you’re not allowed to complain because then she gets mad and put your marriage on the rocks. You have every right to be upset, and you have a right not to want to help again. If your wife wants, she can find a way to help on her own.
Yeah sure mom didn't have time for kids and i can see neglect. But mom and dad had agree her being SAHM and then accusing her spending his money and being lazy? Sounds like ah as well. His career never took a hit from having kids, hers did. He was weekend dad, she had most work with kids (appointments etc) and need to work and mostly likely couldn't hit big bucks career because you know.. sacrificing her career by having kids and agreeing being SAHM with her husband.
@@Rukiah1 15:21 “She paid the bills but did nothing else. I had to go buy groceries with dads money starting when I was 10 so we could have a hot meal that wasn't junk.” It doesn't specify. But I think that the second part of the sentence and the whole meaning of it, together with the: 15:21 “She paid the bills but did nothing else. I had to go buy groceries with dads money starting when I was 10 so we could have a hot meal that wasn't junk.” it's enough to form an opinion that OP's mother wasn't a good mother.
@@elalogar7340 so was mom working a single job and lazy or was mom working 3 jobs and exhausted? Was OP also cooking those groceries or was mom cooking the hot meal OP bought the groceries to make? Does OP know the complete story or is OP biased since dad was the financially stable parent that took over the majority of parenting after OP was a little older and more independent? Especially after he was the fun weekend parent? Is OP a reliable narrator? It's a little hard to call either way
Tough call with the house. If The Opie can prove what he sunk into that house, great, but I don't know if a "verbal agreement" with nothing in writing would count for anything. Ostensibly, oral contacts are binding, but if there's a dispute, you *still* need to prove one thing or the other, when the other party is claiming the opposite. But if The Family wants to keep the house "in the family", then they gotta pony up as well. Else let the county take it, but I wouldn't give another penny towards it..
Very likely wouldn't matter, his "contract" was with the now deceased parents, the sister is not subject to any contracts they may have agreed to. The estate may be liable, but as the estate has already handed out the property (and likely all other assets) it no longer has any claim to it and in order for the estate to complete the contract the legal fees alone would rapidly exceed the debt owed (OP would have to sue the estate, out of pocket btw, for the value, if OP wins the estate must now sue the sister for the house, the sister in turn must be compensated for the loss of value the house has increased by, her debt comes before OP's, her debt exceeds the value of the original estate). The estate must pay its own legal fees out of the estate, as it has no assets there is no way to pay those fees. Oh and throw in it has been years since the parents died, that complicates everything even more. Oh and just to be clear OP would only be able to claim the money, not their legal fees and not a share of the inheritance, the sister would get everything else back as the will was clear she has the sole claim to the property (or it's value as it must now be sold) in the inheritance. Finally unless OP has paperwork about the contract, which he doesn't, he has no case, an u recorded verbal contract has no value when 1 party is deceased (barely has any when both are alive).
Someone point it that the reason the wife want to help the sister is bacause she didnt want her childhood house out of the familly ... MAYBE the plan was always that and the wife knew but f up op of the 75 k ...
1st story: if he got it by word of mouth and did not get it in writing then his word holds no water. Paper trail people paper trail and the only reason I would have shared out that type of money if I would have held on to the receipts or got it in writing that they were going to reimburse me my money after their death or wants the house sold.
Story 1: I mean, NTA for not wanting to loan the property tax money out, especially not after basically getting screwed out of your investment by SIL's parents. Oof, what a situation.
"Oohh being a SAHM is so hard, you wouldn't understand and you're an idiot for not liking your mom". Yeah, I bet it's hard being a single parent, but it isn't impossible. Thousands of people do it everyday. My mom went to school, worked, and still had time to care for us. She wasn't a single mom, my dad was around but my dad is more of a "pay the bills, make the kids watch TV" guy and us kids learned to cook simple meals for ourselves and to use a microwave. Op's mom is just lazy.
I suspect that the intimacy was supposed to be OP's reward for everything he did, but when he turned her down the rejection hurt her feelings so the claws came out. That said, if this is how she deals with conflict in their marriage, OP better be in the lookout for Chris Hanson, because she's a child.
Story 1: This story really makes you wonder: is Op’s wife REALLY this delusional? Or has she been desensitized to prioritizing her golden child sister’s needs over her own? Either way Op is NTA, if you give SIL a penny, she will expect more and more.
Last story - general comment, not sure how much it happens now, but when I was younger, mums aways seemed to get the children during the week, and dads got children at weekends. So, mums had to juggle work, school, school holiday, dentist, doctors etc, ie things that happen during the week, while dads just get to do the fun stuff. (these were my impressions as a child).
Story 4: NTA. Pick up your phone and trash talk him over a call. See how that logic tracks. Also follow him around and place yourself wherever the mood strikes you, see how the logic plays out.
Nothing in story says he will be deadbeat. Nothing. She keeps hounding ex if he is seeing someone. Why? They are not together anymoee, it's none of her business and he is free to search relationship. Sounds like case where someones tried to fix relationship with baby, didn't work out and now OP wants to ban ex continuing life and be tied only to her.
I have seen 1st hand both sides of this. A mother trying to actively cut out the dad after a breakup which backfired on her big time and one where the woman let things just play out and she now has full custody but no child support. OP should go the 2nd route but she needs to talk to a lawyer 1st.
@@duckeh1952 So you're saying that the ex not showing any interest in the wellbeing of his baby is not a red flag? For me it definitely is. Of course might still be hung up on the break up and acts a bit over the top, but he promised a lot and delivered nothing. And that's the only "nothing" in the story.
You are just flat out wrong. The stats completely disprove everything you said. Yet you do not even care enough to do some research. Only a vvoman could be so selfish. Children from single m0ther homes are always at a disadvantage. A father is the most important figure in a child's life.
S2. NTA. The wife sounds like an entitled brat. S3. NTA. Baby daddy is a liar and untrustworthy person. Do this on your own and don't put him on the birth certificate. Make him do the court thing if he wants to. Tell your mother to shut it. Last story. NTA. My mom was a single mother of 6. She had to work hard so we could have thw basics. She never ever ignored us.
Honestly those parents are the biggest idiots. They screwed everyone over with that descion. Stole from their daughter and OP. Burdened their other daughter with a house that they struggled to just pay the taxes and insurance on and that was before the husband lost his job. Everyone would have been better offer if the home was sold and each child got a portion. That daughter could of had a nice down payment for a house she could actually afford. I think people forget about taxes and how they do go up when there's a change in ownership and if there are noticable improvements to the home (increasing it's appraised value). It's the same reason all those "charity" home renovation shows ended up screwing over those families. You can't give a struggling family an expensive home and just hope they can afford the upkeep.....
Your husband needs to grow some balls & stop judging you along with his family. I'm amazed your parents didn't say a thing. I would go off my rocker if I saw my child (even as an adult) getting judged & treated like crap. Next time, take your children with your parents and tell your husband that he can let you know when the house is clean again since he & his family feel it is unnecessary.
5:24 why do i get this feeling that he talks down to her a bit and treats her like a child and that she behaves like a child. She's worse but i don't think they're going to resolve this without help
1) NTA to (YTA for yourself), you did pay for the house, you could’ve taken it to court if you had any evidence but you chose your marriage with someone who is financially uncaring. 2) NTA x10, you gave her everything she asked for except for 2 things due to your busy schedule that probably pays for everything that she got! And now she’s throwing a tantrum? 3) morally NTA, the “father” does not care about the child! He swore on his child’s life on something he knew was a lie? Not only that, but repeatedly missed important appointments? 4) NTA, the fact that the “family” called cleaning “gross” says a lot about their characters. 5) NTA, the mom did not take good care of her kids. There’s a difference between doing the bare minimum and being a good mom. The fact that she went no contact with op just because the father got primary custody just speaks to her character. Did the father cut contact because he had to pay child support?
OP in story 1) is never seeing that money even if he goes to court. They don't have it so he needs the court to force a sale of the house which takes time. Not to mention he's only entitled to half and his wife would get the other half. And given she's almost certainly divorcing him for that he'd spend whatever he has left of that money on legal fees. They were idiots to not get a contract in writing and that money is long gone.
@@GiordanDiodato doesn’t excuse the low quality food, forcing (through inactions) op to be a parent at a young age, going low/no contact with her children after they decided to go to their father, then getting upset when her actions impacted op.
Last story: YTA/ ETA comments, she parent find her children, then abandoned them when she had to pay child support. What is this imaginary twist that’s going to justify the petty vindictive and horrible actions? Being good stay at home mom doesn’t know automatically make everything else go away. She abandoned her kids because she had to pay to take care of them, she has no relationship, therefore no right to OP’s wedding. And I know this was a man everyone would be saying NTA.
Story 3: NTA on this one, either. Ex-bf is clearly not interested because he has someone else's legs to get in-between. If he wasn't going to put in the effort back then, he's not about to start, and he'll continue to be a disappointment in the future. OP will have full custody, he'll pay child support, and if he wants visits they'll be supervised until he can show he loves that child more than himself.
He is ex, not her bf anymore. Sounds like OP expects him stiff be bf and only care for her why she keeps asking if he is seeing someone? They broke up. His dates are not her business. Not in hospital when the scare happened? Sure, for that I can give him one ah. Not living with ex and acting like SO when he isn't SO anymore is not ah. She sounds just bitter that baby didn't make him stay and she tries to get back together. If you reread the story, she doesn't want to ban him from his kid because he didn't come to appointments. She wants to ban him because he is seeing someone else. She wants back together.
2 - OP really needs to divorce the entitled wife. Man organised a party and got the jewellery the wife wanted. He works hard to get her what she wanted, and all he asked for was a nap, but she's still not satisfied.
Story 2 NTA. I don't understand why redditors ignored the fact that you can't force someone to engage in intimacy acts with you when they are not willing. Bodily autonomy is a thing and doesn't go away when you are married
Story 1: NTA, your inlaws effed you over. The sister needs to sell and move. If the wife really thinks you must support the sister, maybe you need to find a better family.
First Story. OP you have a wife problem. She supported your inlaws screwing you over, and now wants you to give her sister more money. Foe the same house her parents swindled you out of. If you can prove that you gave them $75,000 sue her for the money. SIL can sell the house and pay you the money she owes you. Secure your finaces make sure that your wife cannot give this thief $30,000 more of your money behind your back. Your wife having the nerve to even ask for more money after her parents and sister stole $75,000 dollars from you makes her an a-hole. The $75,000 is a hill you should have been willing to die on, now she is going to let her sister steal $30,000 more. Yout wife does not respect or love you. Cut you losses and dump her and her family, before they take you down with them.
Location matters, lots of apartments down south are less than 1000 sqft and ACs for them cost around 5-8k depending on how nice you want to go. They last 15+ years though and a better system is normally more efficient so you save on power in the long run.
Story 1: NTA. You put money into it with the understanding that you'd get it back. The parents did not do their daughter a favor by giving her a house she cant afford. They can't afford that house. They need to sell and downsize
Story 1, nta. If I’m correct, if you pay the taxes on the house, I believe it can become yours. Obviously it’s not that easy, It would have to be documented that you pay the taxes, and that you paid 75k in maintenance cost already. I could be wrong though
The last story, holy hypocrites. The first 3 comments are just dumb and disgusting. It's like they didn't even read that OP was parentified by her mother to raise her brother. She had to clean the house while her mother was either at work or sitting on her a*s or doing whatever. What I think makes this just as bad is that her mother made her, a 10 year old child go grocery shopping on her own with her dad's money. Her father was right. So, what if the woman was a SAHM. I am so glad that OP's father eventually got full custody of OP and her brother but the courts really p*ss me off when I read stories like this. Some parents can be down right abusive to their children and half the time the abuse continues because the courts won't do anything about it. So, yeah, OP is NTA. It's her wedding she can invite or not invite anyone she damned well pleases.
Agree 100%!! Her being a SAHM is irrelevant considering the fact that Dad divorced her for being "lazy and doing nothing but spend his money" which she went on to prove his point by parentifying a 10YR OLD OP!! I'd love to know where the child support she would have been receiving went to if OP had to go back to Dad in order to buy groceries??? Or better yet, if they were both gone on weekends to Dad's then what exactly was stopping her doing a weekly shop on the weekend???.......... Actually I do know she pushed for main (if not) full custody to get child support as her "second income" given no alimony was mentioned and just continued as "normal", ignore the kids and just keep spending. I'm glad also that OP's Dad got full custody in the end and the courts are messed up as they won't remove custody from a woman even if she is an AH unless she puts the kid at risk or they are old enough to request it. She cut both her kids off when they decided to (rightly) live with Dad full time and has never bothered to try mend that relationship, her ego wants and invite rather than it coming out that she was a crap mother and that's why she didn't attend. I'd tell the Aunt to stop feeding info about OP to the AH and make it clear she isn't invited and you will turn BOTH of them away at the door if they try to crash the day and have someone on standby.
Thank you to the last comment in the last story, I always love it when comments call out other comments on their BS. Sure she was a stay at home mom but things changed and she was going to have to work so she needed to grow up and put on her big girl pants. And he said to himself about assumed biases to gaslight, which is what Reddit is perfectly known for.
@@GiordanDiodato I guess somebody missed the part where she cut contact after she had to pay child support. And don’t act like if this was a man in the situation you guys would be criticizing him for not doing enough. She’s just mad because she lost her meal ticket after relying on the dad for so long of Financial support.
The only solution i can see for the house story is offering to sell your own house and buy hers with a $75000 discount with regards to the repairs already made. House stays in the family, you're made whole, sister can downsize to a house she can actually afford
Story 1: OP should tell his wife she can lend the money to her sister with her own earnings only after they get a post nuptial agreement stating she owes him half of the $75k her parents STOLE from him and if they divorce they must sell the house and pay him from her half. Also add they have separate finances from now on and no spousal support can be requested. That’s a compromise and I’m almost certain wife will NOT take the deal!
You said no to a massage when you were exhausted. You both have no respect for each other. She is entitled to complain about getting everything she asked for her birthday but he couldn't give a massage straight after because he was tired. The only way he is in the wrong is the language he used although I probably would've used worse and called her entitled and ungrateful.
Last OP: “My dad divorced my mom because she was lazy. She was lazy growing up. I had to do all the housework because of how lazy she was. I don’t like her because of her laziness.” Reddit: “What we’re hearing is that your mom was wonderful and you’re a bad son” Jesus, the misandry was laid on thick here
The house story: would it be feasible to just swap homes? If the op's mortgage is paid off, taxes are lower, then they get an upgrade to a nicer house and they can afford the taxes, meanwhile the sil gets a more affordable house for herself, win win. But I'd bet then some other sibling would start griping that the house should be sold and divided among everyone, so forget that.
Story 1: NTA but you really should have had a written contract about HOW the parents were going to pay you back. At least then he would have had grounds to contest the will. Something tells me the wife knew all along what her parent's plan had been. OP, the smart financial choice would be to separate finances NOW. If wife is dead set on wanting to loan money to her sister (which will only delay the inevitable) then she can do it from her own purse, not yours. Story 2: NTA. She claims OP spoiled her bday just because he was too exhausted to rub her feet? She got a party thrown for her (that he arranged/paid for), cake, and jewelry. And he did that while sacrificing time that could have been spent on his job. OP gave her everything she asked for regarding that party but she's upset because he wouldn't give her more on demand? OP, you don't have a wife, you have a pampered princess. Story 3: ESH. He may not have been lying when OP made him "swear on their baby's life" but started dating afterward. OP never stated if he ever HAD an interest in having children before she became pregnant as his disinterest in the pregnancy makes it seem unlikely (and part of me wonders if she might have been trying to baby trap him). If he wants to be a part of his child's life, he can easily go to court to petition shared custody. If he doesn't want to be in the child's life, then it'll be better for him to legally sign away his parental rights so OP can't come after him later. Story 4: NTA. While I do question who the hell puts on a 100+ guest party for 3 year old (who likely won't even remember it), anyone invited should have offered to help either with the set up or the clean up (unless they absolutely had a commitment that prevented it). That's called being a good guest. FIL and MIL brought their families and did nothing but sit there and gripe about OP. The LEAST they could have done was entertain their grandkids. Story 5: NTA. OP came to realize how little his mom actually cared about them and that dad may've been right about her. OP was parentified out of necessity until they were able to demand living with their dad, which is when they apparently got an involved parent (based on the "my life improved" comment). With the change in who had majority custody, of course who owed who child support would change as well, and mom apparently ghosts her children because she was upset about it. Why does she feel OWED an invite when she hasn't been present in their life?
Last story: sure mom might of had a hard time with majority custody, but dad had to fight to get an extra day. That means mom fought to keep majority of the parenting. So if she was unable to handle working the kids, she should have split custody better. Im guessing checks form dad were to nice to pass up.
Last story. YAH. Let see. How come when they divorced, she has to go out and get a job to support OP and siblings. Does she receive child support from dad? Then, when OP moves to dad, she has to pay child support? OP story doesn't have any login.
The yta on the birthday story are so confusing to me. The wife said i want xyz. The husband works hard and does xyz overworking and now needs a nap. So the wife freaks cause she had a new request afterwards and was told no, but op is wrong cause reasons? Im not understanding that part.
Im sorry but with what evidence does OP have that makes the father not suitable? My first impression is she is vindictive and wants to use the child against him. I would rather see if he is a good father, and if i find evidence if abuse i would petition it.
Why would you have a baby with an ex, especially when he was barely around for the pregnancy and is more interested in chasing after his next fling plus she is already bitter that the father is dating
1-NTA SIL did not screw you for $75k it was your in-laws. You could do something like draw up a legally binding loan agreement for the $30K and if you have receipts for the $75k add that in. If the state seizes the house for back taxes then everyone loses. 2-ESH You worked the weekend of your wife's birthday party. While you did get everything you wife ASKED for, you forgot the emotional stuff that should be a given. You were also pretty disrespectful to your wife on her birthday because you worked all night-not an excuse! Your wife didn't take into account that you are working yourself into exhaustion trying to do everything. When's the last time you went away for a romantic weekend or vacation-read intimate? 3-NTA. Get your ducks in a row starting with a paternity test. Also talk to a lawyer about child care and parental rights. 4-😲😲😲 100 people for a 3yo bd party? NTA THROW THEM OUT, husband too if he doesn't see the problem. Update, definitely throw husband out as well. 5-NTA You do not send a 10yo to get groceries and have her take care of the house by herself. You don't try to punish your kids for wanting to live with dad and have to pay child support.
Story 1: op was screwed out of the money. Story 2: NTA and op isn’t wrong here . Op bought his wife a cake and does everything she wanted . Story 3; NTA and op could cut out the dad if she wants to because the guy is a liar Story 4: NTA Story 5: NTA and op did nothing wrong
Last one : YTA. Everybody on Reddit all at once the screen notification parent parent notification is when there are two people in the house and ain’t nobody taking care of the kids except for the oldest one oh mother was a stay at home mom. Hope old enough to help around the house by taking care of the younger brother, the only thing that OP complains about is that mommy didn’t help with their homework. Some of y’all weren’t raised by single parents and it shows.
Story 3... Yta and they could both be bad parents but im leaning towards mommy being the worst one seeing how the kid's not even born yet and shes already weponizing the child.. I feel bad for the kid and her future boyfriend/s cause you know none are gonna stick around with her.. Obviously no one ever told her you catch more flys with honey then vinegar.. I can see why the dude left and is keeping his distance till the birth... For all we know he left cause he heard the kid might not be his and he is waiting to be able to have a court ordered dna test done.. Him attending appointments and financially supporting her could potentially get him put on the birth certificate even if hes not the father.. So no hes not the AH
It's a house worth 1 million. It's probably a high cost of living area. Those places tend to have really high costs and taxes. A good chunk of America does not have taxes that high
@@MrHelicxBecause at least if he was dating someone it would give her a reason why he was blowing off her appointments. So now instead of her knowing he just doesn't care, it's he doesn't care and he's a f***ING liar. Neither of which are qualities of a good father.
@@1TVA So let me get this straight if I talk to my baby mama.After we broke up and she doesn't tell me who she's dating.I have grounds to take the kid. because that your logic
Final Story: YTA. I want to ask OP a sincere question. Did things improve because you didn’t have to care for someone anymore? And how much later did your little Bro move in too? Was it when he was fairly independent too. The reason I ask is because it sounds like your just upset that Mom didn’t have all the time in the world to do the stuff you found annoying so you took that out on her as if she had a choice. But she didn’t. She had to work to feed herself and you, and therefore couldn’t be a dedicated homemaker and nurturer anymore.
Did you miss the part where the mother pretty much Parentification her child? personally I think the mother was way too comfortable with her stay at home mom lifestyle and that she did not want changes which is why she’s acting like a big baby right about now. Things changed so she had to deal with it, boo freaking Hoo. And before you use the excuse that she had to work and provide for our children, cry me a River, my mom also did the same but I was never neglected and she was a single mother. Plus, The mother did cut contact with her children after she was forced to pay child support.
@@Symphonia30 Playing devil's advocate here: Did the mother actively cut contact or did it fall by the wayside due to financial strain? The mother was too exhausted from work to even interact with her kids when she had them and was receiving child support. Is it possible that once they left and she had to PAY child support, she had to take on a second job? For her to be pulling long hours and they were still struggling suggests low wage unskilled labour like waitressing. The OP is leaving a lot out of the story that might provide context and it's giving childlike perspective.
@@Symphonia30my Kids do shopping for food, i can't help them al the time with their homework. That is NOT parentification.his father was a deadbeat while mum had to do everything. He was a disney weekend dad. He lived with his dad when he could choose that is 16 year old.the easy age when you don't have to do anything anymore because they are already pretty selfsufficiant. Op is tah manipulated by if father no doubt about that it isn't called parentification but alianation thanks to dad.
Story 2: Holy sexist double standards... If it was a WOMAN who said, "I'm too tired" and he tried to say; "I don't care, I still want intimacy," and if the woman had told a husband that she expected a BETTER ATTITUDE towards being told NO MEANS NO, everyone would be all for telling the woman GOOD FOR YOU, "You don't own your husband intimacy when you're exhausted."
If a WOMAN wants intimacy, she ABSOLUTELY DESERVES it because OTHERWISE you aren't meeting her needs. I'm in SHOCK how many times this happens on Reddit.
It seems people still believe the myth that men are horny monsters and therefore never have a valid reason to reject intimacy.
That's reddit for you. 97% of the time the men are in the wrong, even when they do exactly what a woman does that gets her praise. In stories like this, he's the AH because he didn't give her what she wanted and "deservered" for being a woman. As a woman, I find it ridiculous.
I had to lol at that too.
Next year OP should just wake wife up with boner and tell her she's getting her present.
No other presents, no party or cake.
But but but she's a woman. Don't you know yet they can do no wrong on reddit 😂😂😂😂😂
And the best thing is you can never tell them why you're upset or feeling frustrated because then you're just mansplaning. 😂😂😂😂
Story 2: NTA. … Yes. Believe it or not men can be way too tired for intimacy too. And yes, I feel like if you plan multiple things at the request of your partner, you can get a darn pass.
Jesus Christ, thank you! Once again, I need to go to the RUclips comments for some sanity.
@@ShinigamiSparda I felt the same. 😄
I instantly thought of the "I have a headache" comment that women usually have during this time
Story 2: NTA and WTF is wrong with the commenters did they just skim down and see OP just waved his wife off for a nap because he overworked himself to give her exactly what she wanted.
But but its her birthday.. my birthday is in the busy time of the year for my partner. Now i have nothing with my birthday anyway. But i respect that he doesn't do anything than for me. In those months i worry because he works eat sleep etc. OP sounds like my partner in those months and has a wife that don't care because she is importent.
Lol men aren't allowed to have feelz GIRLZ ROOL
Agreed, the wife just can't be pleased. "As my REAL birthday presents..." Jesus, after all he'd done for her! So greedy and entitled, I'm actually angry.
The wife’s attitude screams “it’s everything or nothing at all!”. OPs request was reasonable and she could have the nookie and rub later. She chose to have a tantrum. I’m also betting she had a mental schedule for OP, not brought up to him, and he’s to follow step by step. As another commenter said, curious to know what she does for his birthday?
It really seems RUclips commenters have way more common sense than redditors.
Perfect solution for s1. Pay back the property tax directly to the state. The owner must repay you or lose the house directly to the person paying the property tax.
That's what I was thinking. Also, make sure SIL knows this isn't a get out of debt free card. She pays or gets out.
I absolutely would walk away from the marriage. It’s going to be a constant cycle of always “borrow” money that they can’t afford
This, specially if there are no kids involved, point at the door, you either stay and don't ever mentation money and your family again, or we gonna get a divorce.
Story 1: NTA. You did in fact pour too much money into it already. And bailing them out now is clearly only going to delay the inevitable.
OP only sucks for not getting anything in writing. Moving forward, I know easy to say as a fly on the wall, I would separate my finances and tell dear wifey if she wants to loan her sister money, she can out of her own funds.
I'd bail her out... Loan her the $30K, but with a deed of trust for $105,000 (plus interest). She'd have to pay it off if she ever sold the home or got a bank loan on it. Plus, OP could always foreclose and take the house. 😄
@@lorilancaster5917- It’s not SIL’s fault that OP’s wife’s parents screwed OP out of $75,000. Why is OP blaming SIL?
@@kristineguetschow9134 because SIL shouldn’t be expecting him to loan her money. Even if she isn’t at fault, she knows that her parents screwed OP over. Plus she doesn’t even give the courtesy to ask himself but is going through the wife
If it's feasible, and desireable to op, they should swap homes. This is assuming OP's mortgage is paid off and the taxes are lower, and they are located near enough respective worksplaces and schools etc. OP gets the house he invested in (and it's worth a lot of money), and doesn't have to hand out money in perpetuity, sil gets an affordable home, and wife gets her cherished childhood home. win all round. But get EVERYTHING properly documented by a lawyer.
Story 2: all of the YTA are way too emotional, OP did so much for his wife, yet she complained saying she never gets what she wants…. Bruh op is NTA and the wife needs to grow up
Yes, he did so much. Made reservations at a bed and breakfast. Invited people. Bought jewelry.
However, maybe he could have put in effort in the intimacy part.
Honestly, I hate big parties and foot rubs. But, I'd certainly prefer a back massage over a party, plus it costs nothing. But OP would be too tired.
@@christinebenson518It’s amazing how Reddit always blames the man no matter what he does. His wife sounds childish and entitled. Sheesh….modern women! 🙄
@@christinebenson518 You know she was the one who asking for the party, right?
Right... apparently, according to the yta's no only means no when a women says it.. if its a man they should say "yes dear"....
Story2:NTA!!
Dude just threw her a fabulous birthday. WTH! Why is the wife in tears over a foot rub?
Dude is TIRED.
Wife is ridiculous and so were the YTA opinions.
I was thinking of an early South Park episode where Cartman dictated everything he wanted for his birthday down to who gave him what. When someone couldn’t find the gift he wanted and improvised, Cartman had a tantrum and shut the party down
Seriously. Wife treats op like a manservant. Rub my feet???!!! I’d be like lady rub MY feet! I’m freaking exhausted.
30,000 dollars a year in taxes for a house you own? Wow, i am glad i am not living in USA
Must be a HCOL area. Property taxes for my house is $8,200 +/- per year.
OP stated the house was worth over $1 million, so $30k a year in taxes isn't shocking. I know people living in high tax areas who pay just under $10k a year for homes worth $400k.
Probably lives in California or new York.
1. NTI. If the sister cannot afford the taxes, she cannot afford the house.
S2: this is one of the reasons as to why I hate redditors
Story 1: if the original plan was for the house to sold so Op could recoup his & wife’s money & the siblings each would get a share, why can’t the sister sell it & downsize. Was everyone scamming Op from the start.
Yep interesting the wife said not to sell the family home. Wasn't that the plan?
@@piyam5000yeah nice of you to say it ...
Since now they dont want to loose the house of the familly maybe the plan didnt change and they never intent to sell it/give back the money ... soo true .
She made a 10-year-old do groceries!!!!!!
She’s not Kevin McAllister
No kidding. At that age, they can help with getting groceries by tagging along, but that's vastly different from actually doing it on their own. And she didn't even give the OP money. Yeah, it's hard being a single mom, but why didn't she stock up on groceries on her non-custodial days?
Story 3: I understand how you feel, he totally betrayed you and trapped you with a child you probably wouldnt have had if you knew he was just going to dip out. That being said, youre stuck with him, he is your childs father, but that doesnt mean you have to make anything easy for him. If he wants to be in the kids life, HE has to make the effort. If he fights for custody, you unfortunately have to give it to his lying cheating butt.
Or, she's upset that the Baby Trap failed and that he's trying to stay away to not have any connection with OP, only if and when the kid is born; and hopefully he gets a paternity test. He's also such with her, a jealous and petty ex that isn't happy that he's moved onto another relationship. He has to be in the kid's life, not hers or her personal problems. The kid isn't born yet so he isn't needed; she can handle herself or go with her family or friends. If the kid is his, he should fight for custody, and pay child support. If she tries anything stupid like parental alienation or being a harpy, the Guy needs to catalogue everything so the kid knows in the future that OP made them fatherless by her choice
Story 1: I blame the in-laws for all of this, they screwed over OP knowing he couldn’t do anything about it, gave the youngest how she can’t afford, and on top of everyone else not having an inheritance. They now have to pay for a house they don’t own otherwise their sister ends-up homeless and they lose the family the family home. I mean, how long is everyone going to to keep paying for their sit there to live in the house?
Now you’re the bad guy because you don’t want to help pay for a house that was supposed to be sold so you would get your money back. Clearly not over it and it’s unfair that your wife is forcing you to keep helping her family when you’re upset that they screwed you like that. And you’re not allowed to complain because then she gets mad and put your marriage on the rocks.
You have every right to be upset, and you have a right not to want to help again. If your wife wants, she can find a way to help on her own.
Story 1: Time to ditch the wife before she drains OP dry to support her family.
16:58 last story there's no way to know for sure if OPs Mom was intentionally lazy or if she was working three jobs to make ends meet.
Yeah sure mom didn't have time for kids and i can see neglect.
But mom and dad had agree her being SAHM and then accusing her spending his money and being lazy? Sounds like ah as well.
His career never took a hit from having kids, hers did. He was weekend dad, she had most work with kids (appointments etc) and need to work and mostly likely couldn't hit big bucks career because you know.. sacrificing her career by having kids and agreeing being SAHM with her husband.
@@duckeh1952 10 years old buying groceries on their own and with the money their father gave them.. There's definitely something wrong here.
@@elalogar7340 but did dad give it directly or was the child support "dad's money"?
@@Rukiah1
15:21 “She paid the bills but did nothing else. I had to go buy groceries with dads money starting when I was 10 so we could have a hot meal that wasn't junk.”
It doesn't specify. But I think that the second part of the sentence and the whole meaning of it, together with the:
15:21 “She paid the bills but did nothing else. I had to go buy groceries with dads money starting when I was 10 so we could have a hot meal that wasn't junk.”
it's enough to form an opinion that OP's mother wasn't a good mother.
@@elalogar7340 so was mom working a single job and lazy or was mom working 3 jobs and exhausted? Was OP also cooking those groceries or was mom cooking the hot meal OP bought the groceries to make? Does OP know the complete story or is OP biased since dad was the financially stable parent that took over the majority of parenting after OP was a little older and more independent? Especially after he was the fun weekend parent? Is OP a reliable narrator? It's a little hard to call either way
#1: "I already sunk $75,000 into that property. They will not get a penny more. The tax bill is on your sister alone."
Tough call with the house. If The Opie can prove what he sunk into that house, great, but I don't know if a "verbal agreement" with nothing in writing would count for anything. Ostensibly, oral contacts are binding, but if there's a dispute, you *still* need to prove one thing or the other, when the other party is claiming the opposite. But if The Family wants to keep the house "in the family", then they gotta pony up as well. Else let the county take it, but I wouldn't give another penny towards it..
Very likely wouldn't matter, his "contract" was with the now deceased parents, the sister is not subject to any contracts they may have agreed to. The estate may be liable, but as the estate has already handed out the property (and likely all other assets) it no longer has any claim to it and in order for the estate to complete the contract the legal fees alone would rapidly exceed the debt owed (OP would have to sue the estate, out of pocket btw, for the value, if OP wins the estate must now sue the sister for the house, the sister in turn must be compensated for the loss of value the house has increased by, her debt comes before OP's, her debt exceeds the value of the original estate). The estate must pay its own legal fees out of the estate, as it has no assets there is no way to pay those fees. Oh and throw in it has been years since the parents died, that complicates everything even more. Oh and just to be clear OP would only be able to claim the money, not their legal fees and not a share of the inheritance, the sister would get everything else back as the will was clear she has the sole claim to the property (or it's value as it must now be sold) in the inheritance.
Finally unless OP has paperwork about the contract, which he doesn't, he has no case, an u recorded verbal contract has no value when 1 party is deceased (barely has any when both are alive).
@@cgi2002 That's along the lines of what I figured. Heard too many times that "it'd cost more just to sue than what you'd get back even if you won".
Someone point it that the reason the wife want to help the sister is bacause she didnt want her childhood house out of the familly ...
MAYBE the plan was always that and the wife knew but f up op of the 75 k ...
OP should buy the house at the Tax Auction and sell to get his money back.
1st story: if he got it by word of mouth and did not get it in writing then his word holds no water.
Paper trail people paper trail and the only reason I would have shared out that type of money if I would have held on to the receipts or got it in writing that they were going to reimburse me my money after their death or wants the house sold.
Story 1: I mean, NTA for not wanting to loan the property tax money out, especially not after basically getting screwed out of your investment by SIL's parents. Oof, what a situation.
"Oohh being a SAHM is so hard, you wouldn't understand and you're an idiot for not liking your mom".
Yeah, I bet it's hard being a single parent, but it isn't impossible. Thousands of people do it everyday. My mom went to school, worked, and still had time to care for us. She wasn't a single mom, my dad was around but my dad is more of a "pay the bills, make the kids watch TV" guy and us kids learned to cook simple meals for ourselves and to use a microwave.
Op's mom is just lazy.
I suspect that the intimacy was supposed to be OP's reward for everything he did, but when he turned her down the rejection hurt her feelings so the claws came out.
That said, if this is how she deals with conflict in their marriage, OP better be in the lookout for Chris Hanson, because she's a child.
Last story. NTA. Mom turned her oldest into a slave, and expected OP to do everything a parent should've been doing. This is never ok.
Oh plz, he was hardly a slave😒😒.
@@geminiblue parentificstion would work better here. Sense Op says he had to do all the chores and "keep his brother in line".
@geminiblue on top if doing the grocery shopping at age 10. Wtf are you smoking, not a slave...
Should have lent her the money and taken a first lien well documented. Do that a few years then let it be sold in foreclosure and get your money back
Story 1: This story really makes you wonder: is Op’s wife REALLY this delusional? Or has she been desensitized to prioritizing her golden child sister’s needs over her own?
Either way Op is NTA, if you give SIL a penny, she will expect more and more.
Last story - general comment, not sure how much it happens now, but when I was younger, mums aways seemed to get the children during the week, and dads got children at weekends. So, mums had to juggle work, school, school holiday, dentist, doctors etc, ie things that happen during the week, while dads just get to do the fun stuff. (these were my impressions as a child).
Story 4: NTA. Pick up your phone and trash talk him over a call. See how that logic tracks. Also follow him around and place yourself wherever the mood strikes you, see how the logic plays out.
Story 3: NTA. A Father in the child’s life isn’t always the better option. Make sure everything is legally taken care of.
Nothing in story says he will be deadbeat. Nothing.
She keeps hounding ex if he is seeing someone. Why? They are not together anymoee, it's none of her business and he is free to search relationship.
Sounds like case where someones tried to fix relationship with baby, didn't work out and now OP wants to ban ex continuing life and be tied only to her.
True but its not HER choice to make .
She cant weaponize the child custidy on how he treat her ... ( unless illégal stuff like assault ... )
I have seen 1st hand both sides of this. A mother trying to actively cut out the dad after a breakup which backfired on her big time and one where the woman let things just play out and she now has full custody but no child support. OP should go the 2nd route but she needs to talk to a lawyer 1st.
@@duckeh1952 So you're saying that the ex not showing any interest in the wellbeing of his baby is not a red flag? For me it definitely is. Of course might still be hung up on the break up and acts a bit over the top, but he promised a lot and delivered nothing. And that's the only "nothing" in the story.
You are just flat out wrong. The stats completely disprove everything you said. Yet you do not even care enough to do some research. Only a vvoman could be so selfish. Children from single m0ther homes are always at a disadvantage. A father is the most important figure in a child's life.
9:37 i don't have a single problem with her not bothering to facilitate a relationship. Let him go through the effort.
Op should divorce the wife
I would lend the $30k in exchange for a $50K lien on the house. Eventually, you can foreclose on any liens and maybe get the money back.
S2. NTA. The wife sounds like an entitled brat.
S3. NTA. Baby daddy is a liar and untrustworthy person. Do this on your own and don't put him on the birth certificate. Make him do the court thing if he wants to. Tell your mother to shut it.
Last story. NTA. My mom was a single mother of 6. She had to work hard so we could have thw basics. She never ever ignored us.
Honestly those parents are the biggest idiots. They screwed everyone over with that descion. Stole from their daughter and OP. Burdened their other daughter with a house that they struggled to just pay the taxes and insurance on and that was before the husband lost his job. Everyone would have been better offer if the home was sold and each child got a portion. That daughter could of had a nice down payment for a house she could actually afford. I think people forget about taxes and how they do go up when there's a change in ownership and if there are noticable improvements to the home (increasing it's appraised value). It's the same reason all those "charity" home renovation shows ended up screwing over those families. You can't give a struggling family an expensive home and just hope they can afford the upkeep.....
Your husband needs to grow some balls & stop judging you along with his family. I'm amazed your parents didn't say a thing. I would go off my rocker if I saw my child (even as an adult) getting judged & treated like crap.
Next time, take your children with your parents and tell your husband that he can let you know when the house is clean again since he & his family feel it is unnecessary.
Your videos are a daily staple for me. 🥰
5:24 why do i get this feeling that he talks down to her a bit and treats her like a child and that she behaves like a child. She's worse but i don't think they're going to resolve this without help
1) NTA to (YTA for yourself), you did pay for the house, you could’ve taken it to court if you had any evidence but you chose your marriage with someone who is financially uncaring.
2) NTA x10, you gave her everything she asked for except for 2 things due to your busy schedule that probably pays for everything that she got! And now she’s throwing a tantrum?
3) morally NTA, the “father” does not care about the child! He swore on his child’s life on something he knew was a lie? Not only that, but repeatedly missed important appointments?
4) NTA, the fact that the “family” called cleaning “gross” says a lot about their characters.
5) NTA, the mom did not take good care of her kids. There’s a difference between doing the bare minimum and being a good mom. The fact that she went no contact with op just because the father got primary custody just speaks to her character.
Did the father cut contact because he had to pay child support?
OP in story 1) is never seeing that money even if he goes to court. They don't have it so he needs the court to force a sale of the house which takes time. Not to mention he's only entitled to half and his wife would get the other half. And given she's almost certainly divorcing him for that he'd spend whatever he has left of that money on legal fees.
They were idiots to not get a contract in writing and that money is long gone.
5. Because she was working
Story 1 he needs to divorce the wife and sue what's left of her family.
@@GiordanDiodato doesn’t excuse the low quality food, forcing (through inactions) op to be a parent at a young age, going low/no contact with her children after they decided to go to their father, then getting upset when her actions impacted op.
@@laquietagray9323 I agree, but first he’ll have to look at the legal stuff in his area and see how much he’ll lose in a divorce if it comes to that.
Story one....the perfect example of what a malignant CANCER is 🤷♀️.
Story 3: honestly, she’s giving him exactly what he wants. He doesn’t want the kid. End of story
Last story: YTA/ ETA comments, she parent find her children, then abandoned them when she had to pay child support. What is this imaginary twist that’s going to justify the petty vindictive and horrible actions?
Being good stay at home mom doesn’t know automatically make everything else go away. She abandoned her kids because she had to pay to take care of them, she has no relationship, therefore no right to OP’s wedding. And I know this was a man everyone would be saying NTA.
Story 3: NTA on this one, either. Ex-bf is clearly not interested because he has someone else's legs to get in-between. If he wasn't going to put in the effort back then, he's not about to start, and he'll continue to be a disappointment in the future. OP will have full custody, he'll pay child support, and if he wants visits they'll be supervised until he can show he loves that child more than himself.
He is ex, not her bf anymore. Sounds like OP expects him stiff be bf and only care for her why she keeps asking if he is seeing someone? They broke up. His dates are not her business.
Not in hospital when the scare happened? Sure, for that I can give him one ah. Not living with ex and acting like SO when he isn't SO anymore is not ah.
She sounds just bitter that baby didn't make him stay and she tries to get back together.
If you reread the story, she doesn't want to ban him from his kid because he didn't come to appointments.
She wants to ban him because he is seeing someone else.
She wants back together.
@@duckeh1952 He was with another woman BEFORE they broke up, but lied to OP the whole time
2 - OP really needs to divorce the entitled wife. Man organised a party and got the jewellery the wife wanted. He works hard to get her what she wanted, and all he asked for was a nap, but she's still not satisfied.
Story 2 NTA. I don't understand why redditors ignored the fact that you can't force someone to engage in intimacy acts with you when they are not willing. Bodily autonomy is a thing and doesn't go away when you are married
Bodily autonomy only exist for women in the world of reddit
Story 2: NTA. Ugh. Misandrist Reddit gonna misandrist.
Sometimes I wonder if they even read the story they were commenting on
Story 2: NTA, but cue the man haters. Gotta agree with the comments on here, calling out the double standards.
Story 1: NTA, your inlaws effed you over. The sister needs to sell and move. If the wife really thinks you must support the sister, maybe you need to find a better family.
First Story. OP you have a wife problem. She supported your inlaws screwing you over, and now wants you to give her sister more money. Foe the same house her parents swindled you out of. If you can prove that you gave them $75,000 sue her for the money. SIL can sell the house and pay you the money she owes you. Secure your finaces make sure that your wife cannot give this thief $30,000 more of your money behind your back. Your wife having the nerve to even ask for more money after her parents and sister stole $75,000 dollars from you makes her an a-hole. The $75,000 is a hill you should have been willing to die on, now she is going to let her sister steal $30,000 more. Yout wife does not respect or love you. Cut you losses and dump her and her family, before they take you down with them.
15k on ac units?! wtf type of house is this?! My family runs a 6k sqft business and the ac unit in it wasn’t 15k. Holy fuck 😂
It’s an almost 2 million dollar home, so it’s big big
Location matters, lots of apartments down south are less than 1000 sqft and ACs for them cost around 5-8k depending on how nice you want to go. They last 15+ years though and a better system is normally more efficient so you save on power in the long run.
My sister has a very small house and she had to get a new central ac unit: $11K! Yeah, she was ripped off IMO
Dayum
Parents or not, get it in writing, or shut up when you are screwed.
One million dollar home with 30k tax bill that's 3% MOVE
Story 1: NTA. You put money into it with the understanding that you'd get it back. The parents did not do their daughter a favor by giving her a house she cant afford. They can't afford that house. They need to sell and downsize
Story 1, nta. If I’m correct, if you pay the taxes on the house, I believe it can become yours. Obviously it’s not that easy, It would have to be documented that you pay the taxes, and that you paid 75k in maintenance cost already. I could be wrong though
Parents who use their children as weapons to hurt the ex are disgusting.
Birthday party story: one hundred people for a three year old’s party???? That’s just insane!
The last story, holy hypocrites. The first 3 comments are just dumb and disgusting. It's like they didn't even read that OP was parentified by her mother to raise her brother. She had to clean the house while her mother was either at work or sitting on her a*s or doing whatever. What I think makes this just as bad is that her mother made her, a 10 year old child go grocery shopping on her own with her dad's money. Her father was right. So, what if the woman was a SAHM. I am so glad that OP's father eventually got full custody of OP and her brother but the courts really p*ss me off when I read stories like this. Some parents can be down right abusive to their children and half the time the abuse continues because the courts won't do anything about it. So, yeah, OP is NTA. It's her wedding she can invite or not invite anyone she damned well pleases.
Agree 100%!! Her being a SAHM is irrelevant considering the fact that Dad divorced her for being "lazy and doing nothing but spend his money" which she went on to prove his point by parentifying a 10YR OLD OP!! I'd love to know where the child support she would have been receiving went to if OP had to go back to Dad in order to buy groceries??? Or better yet, if they were both gone on weekends to Dad's then what exactly was stopping her doing a weekly shop on the weekend???..........
Actually I do know she pushed for main (if not) full custody to get child support as her "second income" given no alimony was mentioned and just continued as "normal", ignore the kids and just keep spending. I'm glad also that OP's Dad got full custody in the end and the courts are messed up as they won't remove custody from a woman even if she is an AH unless she puts the kid at risk or they are old enough to request it.
She cut both her kids off when they decided to (rightly) live with Dad full time and has never bothered to try mend that relationship, her ego wants and invite rather than it coming out that she was a crap mother and that's why she didn't attend. I'd tell the Aunt to stop feeding info about OP to the AH and make it clear she isn't invited and you will turn BOTH of them away at the door if they try to crash the day and have someone on standby.
Happy Monday!
Thank you to the last comment in the last story, I always love it when comments call out other comments on their BS. Sure she was a stay at home mom but things changed and she was going to have to work so she needed to grow up and put on her big girl pants. And he said to himself about assumed biases to gaslight, which is what Reddit is perfectly known for.
Was she a Stay At Home Mother who was being a mother or just a "Mother" who Stayed At Home and did nothing?
Ok misogynist
@@GiordanDiodato I guess somebody missed the part where she cut contact after she had to pay child support. And don’t act like if this was a man in the situation you guys would be criticizing him for not doing enough. She’s just mad because she lost her meal ticket after relying on the dad for so long of Financial support.
The only solution i can see for the house story is offering to sell your own house and buy hers with a $75000 discount with regards to the repairs already made. House stays in the family, you're made whole, sister can downsize to a house she can actually afford
‘My real birthday present’ tells me all I need to know. Those YTA comments were scorned women, point blank.
Story 1: OP should tell his wife she can lend the money to her sister with her own earnings only after they get a post nuptial agreement stating she owes him half of the $75k her parents STOLE from him and if they divorce they must sell the house and pay him from her half. Also add they have separate finances from now on and no spousal support can be requested. That’s a compromise and I’m almost certain wife will NOT take the deal!
Last story ...why do I think there is a lot missing from this story? 🤔
Because you WANT there to be missing information
@@nancyomalley6286 Hmmm...not really.
You said no to a massage when you were exhausted. You both have no respect for each other. She is entitled to complain about getting everything she asked for her birthday but he couldn't give a massage straight after because he was tired. The only way he is in the wrong is the language he used although I probably would've used worse and called her entitled and ungrateful.
Story one. Always get things in writing. Better yet don't pour so much money into a home that is not yours.
Story 3. Caring for you is not the same as caring for your hold.
Last OP: “My dad divorced my mom because she was lazy. She was lazy growing up. I had to do all the housework because of how lazy she was. I don’t like her because of her laziness.”
Reddit: “What we’re hearing is that your mom was wonderful and you’re a bad son”
Jesus, the misandry was laid on thick here
Second story is worse considering how bad of a take it is after op laid it all out
The house story: would it be feasible to just swap homes? If the op's mortgage is paid off, taxes are lower, then they get an upgrade to a nicer house and they can afford the taxes, meanwhile the sil gets a more affordable house for herself, win win. But I'd bet then some other sibling would start griping that the house should be sold and divided among everyone, so forget that.
Story 1: NTA but you really should have had a written contract about HOW the parents were going to pay you back. At least then he would have had grounds to contest the will. Something tells me the wife knew all along what her parent's plan had been. OP, the smart financial choice would be to separate finances NOW. If wife is dead set on wanting to loan money to her sister (which will only delay the inevitable) then she can do it from her own purse, not yours.
Story 2: NTA. She claims OP spoiled her bday just because he was too exhausted to rub her feet? She got a party thrown for her (that he arranged/paid for), cake, and jewelry. And he did that while sacrificing time that could have been spent on his job. OP gave her everything she asked for regarding that party but she's upset because he wouldn't give her more on demand? OP, you don't have a wife, you have a pampered princess.
Story 3: ESH. He may not have been lying when OP made him "swear on their baby's life" but started dating afterward. OP never stated if he ever HAD an interest in having children before she became pregnant as his disinterest in the pregnancy makes it seem unlikely (and part of me wonders if she might have been trying to baby trap him). If he wants to be a part of his child's life, he can easily go to court to petition shared custody. If he doesn't want to be in the child's life, then it'll be better for him to legally sign away his parental rights so OP can't come after him later.
Story 4: NTA. While I do question who the hell puts on a 100+ guest party for 3 year old (who likely won't even remember it), anyone invited should have offered to help either with the set up or the clean up (unless they absolutely had a commitment that prevented it). That's called being a good guest. FIL and MIL brought their families and did nothing but sit there and gripe about OP. The LEAST they could have done was entertain their grandkids.
Story 5: NTA. OP came to realize how little his mom actually cared about them and that dad may've been right about her. OP was parentified out of necessity until they were able to demand living with their dad, which is when they apparently got an involved parent (based on the "my life improved" comment). With the change in who had majority custody, of course who owed who child support would change as well, and mom apparently ghosts her children because she was upset about it. Why does she feel OWED an invite when she hasn't been present in their life?
Story 2 Men just cannot catch a break
Last story: sure mom might of had a hard time with majority custody, but dad had to fight to get an extra day. That means mom fought to keep majority of the parenting. So if she was unable to handle working the kids, she should have split custody better. Im guessing checks form dad were to nice to pass up.
Also she could you OP as the maid.
Ffs she was working
@GiordanDiodato and dad was living off a trust fund?
Pregnacy story. Does the new girlfriend of the ex know he's about to become a father?
Story 1: do they not have Homestead Exemptions where op lives?
Last story. YAH. Let see. How come when they divorced, she has to go out and get a job to support OP and siblings. Does she receive child support from dad? Then, when OP moves to dad, she has to pay child support? OP story doesn't have any login.
Its july! House is now 12%
30k property tax... da fuk?
The yta on the birthday story are so confusing to me. The wife said i want xyz. The husband works hard and does xyz overworking and now needs a nap. So the wife freaks cause she had a new request afterwards and was told no, but op is wrong cause reasons? Im not understanding that part.
Reddit has a sexist attitude against men
Story 2 - the wife is a annoying petulant child and Reddit is full of simps
So are you aware of Bovon Rafa? Their uploads are strikingly similar if not to copies of these videos... Just wanted to give u a heads up.
Thats so disgusting, you dont get sex just because its your birthday
YTA, ESH, NTA, NTA, ESH.
Im sorry but with what evidence does OP have that makes the father not suitable? My first impression is she is vindictive and wants to use the child against him. I would rather see if he is a good father, and if i find evidence if abuse i would petition it.
Why would you have a baby with an ex, especially when he was barely around for the pregnancy and is more interested in chasing after his next fling plus she is already bitter that the father is dating
Because she was 5 months along before he became an ex. That's not her fault. He's a coward, a liar and a user.
1-NTA SIL did not screw you for $75k it was your in-laws. You could do something like draw up a legally binding loan agreement for the $30K and if you have receipts for the $75k add that in. If the state seizes the house for back taxes then everyone loses. 2-ESH You worked the weekend of your wife's birthday party. While you did get everything you wife ASKED for, you forgot the emotional stuff that should be a given. You were also pretty disrespectful to your wife on her birthday because you worked all night-not an excuse! Your wife didn't take into account that you are working yourself into exhaustion trying to do everything. When's the last time you went away for a romantic weekend or vacation-read intimate? 3-NTA. Get your ducks in a row starting with a paternity test. Also talk to a lawyer about child care and parental rights. 4-😲😲😲 100 people for a 3yo bd party? NTA THROW THEM OUT, husband too if he doesn't see the problem. Update, definitely throw husband out as well. 5-NTA You do not send a 10yo to get groceries and have her take care of the house by herself. You don't try to punish your kids for wanting to live with dad and have to pay child support.
Story 1: op was screwed out of the money.
Story 2: NTA and op isn’t wrong here . Op bought his wife a cake and does everything she wanted .
Story 3; NTA and op could cut out the dad if she wants to because the guy is a liar
Story 4: NTA
Story 5: NTA and op did nothing wrong
last comments THANK F ING GOD ONE OF THESE COMMENTS SAID IT.... and that pathetic mindset already in these youtube comments too
story 2 those comments are dumb
Last one : YTA. Everybody on Reddit all at once the screen notification parent parent notification is when there are two people in the house and ain’t nobody taking care of the kids except for the oldest one oh mother was a stay at home mom. Hope old enough to help around the house by taking care of the younger brother, the only thing that OP complains about is that mommy didn’t help with their homework. Some of y’all weren’t raised by single parents and it shows.
A channel called Revenge hHHBB has stolen your content.
What 3-year-old needs/wants a 100-person party? And OP, your kids are 1, 2, and 3? Jesus, do you ever close your legs?
they talk about her to her face, but so.eone had to tell her this whole website is childish and why do people try to censor ppl private convo.
Last story: Ok that YTA commenter is straight up condoning abuse. Another day on anti-male Reddit
Maybe it was the mom?
Story 3...
Yta and they could both be bad parents
but im leaning towards mommy being the worst one seeing how the kid's not even born yet and shes already weponizing the child..
I feel bad for the kid and her future boyfriend/s cause you know none are gonna stick around with her..
Obviously no one ever told her you catch more flys with honey then vinegar..
I can see why the dude left and is keeping his distance till the birth...
For all we know he left cause he heard the kid might not be his and he is waiting to be able to have a court ordered dna test done..
Him attending appointments and financially supporting her could potentially get him put on the birth certificate even if hes not the father..
So no hes not the AH
Story 1: Why are American property taxes so high? Jeez.
It's a house worth 1 million. It's probably a high cost of living area. Those places tend to have really high costs and taxes. A good chunk of America does not have taxes that high
@nightengalenorth6881 What are the taxes for? Is the infrastructure perfect? Do they have gold plated fountains?
baby story lol she mad they are not together anymore. What does his dating life give to do with the baby
Oh be quiet and you paid attention to nothing
@@KadeStringer2.0 so wat does him dating, someone has to do with the Embryo she carrying
@@MrHelicxBecause at least if he was dating someone it would give her a reason why he was blowing off her appointments. So now instead of her knowing he just doesn't care, it's he doesn't care and he's a f***ING liar. Neither of which are qualities of a good father.
@@1TVA So let me get this straight if I talk to my baby mama.After we broke up and she doesn't tell me who she's dating.I have grounds to take the kid. because that your logic
@@MrHelicxyou didn't read the story
Final Story: YTA. I want to ask OP a sincere question. Did things improve because you didn’t have to care for someone anymore? And how much later did your little Bro move in too? Was it when he was fairly independent too. The reason I ask is because it sounds like your just upset that Mom didn’t have all the time in the world to do the stuff you found annoying so you took that out on her as if she had a choice. But she didn’t. She had to work to feed herself and you, and therefore couldn’t be a dedicated homemaker and nurturer anymore.
Did you miss the part where the mother pretty much Parentification her child? personally I think the mother was way too comfortable with her stay at home mom lifestyle and that she did not want changes which is why she’s acting like a big baby right about now. Things changed so she had to deal with it, boo freaking Hoo. And before you use the excuse that she had to work and provide for our children, cry me a River, my mom also did the same but I was never neglected and she was a single mother. Plus, The mother did cut contact with her children after she was forced to pay child support.
@@Symphonia30 Playing devil's advocate here: Did the mother actively cut contact or did it fall by the wayside due to financial strain? The mother was too exhausted from work to even interact with her kids when she had them and was receiving child support. Is it possible that once they left and she had to PAY child support, she had to take on a second job? For her to be pulling long hours and they were still struggling suggests low wage unskilled labour like waitressing. The OP is leaving a lot out of the story that might provide context and it's giving childlike perspective.
@@Symphonia30this dude don't care it a woman and a mom don't do no wrong. this guy will rip down a man if he sneeze to hard.
did YOU miss the point where OP had to get money from DAD to buy GROCERIES? and that with dad presumably giving support?
@@Symphonia30my Kids do shopping for food, i can't help them al the time with their homework. That is NOT parentification.his father was a deadbeat while mum had to do everything. He was a disney weekend dad. He lived with his dad when he could choose that is 16 year old.the easy age when you don't have to do anything anymore because they are already pretty selfsufficiant.
Op is tah manipulated by if father no doubt about that it isn't called parentification but alianation thanks to dad.
Story 4: if you invite me to a party, i dont do chores.... its a party. That shits on you. I hate kids though and wouldnt go..