A love letter to my depressed self. (it gets better)
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- Опубликовано: 20 апр 2022
- Just wrote this for myself, really. But thought it might help someone out there and so I've turned this into a video. I'm not very well, haven't been in a while. Honestly, my circumstances haven't changed one bit since last year. It's more down than up. I haven't had a single thing go right for me in ages and it's difficult to keep trying when none of your attempts succeed. But nothing lasts forever and dark days will pass, as will the good ones. I doubt all this struggle will ever make sense, but just in case it does one day... Let's try and make it together till tomorrow, okay? Love, Kat x
My website & prints & donations :) www.napiorkowska.net/donations
Just wrote this for myself, really. But thought it might help someone out there and so I've turned this into a video. I'm not very well, haven't been in a while. Honestly, my circumstances haven't changed one bit since last year. It's more down than up. I haven't had a single thing go right for me in ages and it's difficult to keep trying when none of your attempts succeed. But nothing lasts forever and dark days will pass, as will the good ones. I doubt all this struggle will ever make sense, but just in case it does one day... Let's try and make it together till tomorrow, okay? Love, Kat x
I think u should stop making videos like the ones u made in the past. Sadly, i thought it was helping me and it does seem like it's helping ppl but truth is it doesn't. What happens is that ppl wallow in their own sorrows, lot of possible self self diagnose, and instead of making films on mental disorders and glorifying like it's beauty, ppl can actually make videos on how they can overcome instead. While it's evident that u put at the end of every video to get help, most of the film is actually about how we suffer and how our lives r pathetic. u can make most of ur video how to overcome instead of making it all about symptoms. Mostly the films u make is not relatable to everyone . Lot of symptoms over lap in many mental health issues. I think to even make such kind of videos explaining the symptoms, one have to study it a lot and be professional at it. While i appreciate ur effort to educate ppl on symptoms of this illnesses, i would seriously want to bring to ur light that you r enabling lot of ppl doing self diagnosis and wallowing in sorrows. BEING FROM FAMILY WHO HAD HISTORY OF SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESSES SCHIZOPHRENIA, I SUFFERED FROM INSOMNIA AND BORDERLINE MOOD SWINGS IN THE PAST FROM THE FAMILY TRAUMA ,I WAS DIAGNOSED BY TWO PROFESSIONALS FOR ANXIETY DISORDER AND BIPOLAR DISORDER. AND I TOOK ALL THESE MEDICATIONS THAT ONLY WRECKED MY BODY AND ONLY CAUSED MORE SUICIDAL BEHAVIOUR. I M TRYING TO EXPLAIN HERE THAT EVEN PROFESSIONALS MISDIAGNOSE THESE THINGS BECAUSE LOT OF SYMPTOMS OVERLAP IN SEVERAL ILLNESSES.. SO WE NEED TO REALLY LOOK INTO WHAT WE R POSTING ONLINE. I STARTED PRACTICING MINDFULNESS USING HEADSPACE AND OTHER AFFIRMATION EXERCISES. I WANT U TO UNDERSTAND THAT LOT OF PPL MAKE THEIR PROBLEMS BIGGER BY WATCHING THESE KIND OF VIDEOS.
I appreciate this, I received a comment like yours before and so I asked people whether I should stop making videos and they collectively said no. I think my older videos help explain how a mental disorder feels for you to your loved ones so I will not stop making them. People feel understood (hopefully) through my videos. But I get your point of view and I think you’re right in a way! ♥️
@@KatAmarie Thanks to your videos, I was able to explain much better what i was feeling/suffering to my parents, brothers and friends. I have depression and social phobia. Feel undertood made me feel better. Thank you so much @Kat
@@KatAmarie it is because of one of your videos that I understood what was happening to me and decided to change it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and left everyting back, moved to Poland (I'm from Spain), started volunteering and made a new life for myself. And it all started because of you.
I sympathize with you, wholeheartedly. I absolutely love that I stumbled across your videos.
If you ever visit Virginia (zero idea where you’re located)… coffee is on me (well already brewing in the kitchen- as the birds wonder if I’ll get up, too).
Much love sending your way.
Hugs.
Lauren
"Because if you don't hold on, I don't exist." That hit me like a ton of bricks. 😢 Thanks Kat, I really needed this today. ♥
I can't even express how much this means to me, I've been so overwhelmed with things that are going on in my life that the only thing that was in my mind was to just put an end in everything, but this really gave me another point of view to my life. Thank You!
Hey! I’d highly appreciate if you take a look at my content and support it by subscribing if you like it? ☺️ just trying to share my videos with more people 🙂
Every time I’m back in the darkness, I come to watch all the mental health videos again. I love how these video make me feel I’m not alone. These are beautiful art pieces.
Thanks you for hanging on so many years.
Same here
You are such a gift to everyone who is low. Thank you so much for existing!
This is a beautiful idea/video, Kat.
I loved seeing this change of tone in your narration. This belongs in an art exhibition as well as in everyone's favorite folder on our phones, to be brought out when times are hard.
I am 100% sure it will help someone out there because it has already helped me. It impacts me quite a lot reading things have been more down than up for you. But not in a way that you should feel any guilt, but normal empathy. I'm not sure if struggles even need to make sense one day, but I do know our abilities to overcome hardships is strengthened with your supportive and uplifting hope. Wishing you, and anyone who has been kind enough to read all of my rambling, a positive and clairvoyant time ahead.
This came after I broke down today for the first time in forever … cosmic timing. I need to take tomorrow for myself.
Thank you so much, today I haven't been able to get out of bed because I've just lost all hope. I'm failing at my career and I'm so tired of feeling so lonely with nothing to look forward to. Life is just too difficult and it makes me question whether it's worth it to even keep trying. It's really good to see someone who has come out the other side, so thank you for giving me a new perspective.
Hey! I’d highly appreciate if you take a look at my content and support it by subscribing if you like it? ☺️ just trying to share my videos with more people 🙂
This video came on a perfect time for me. I've been struggling with depression for 2 years from years of traumatic things happening in my life. It's been 4 months of therapy and slowly picking myself up to continue living each day. The reason I still manage to be alive was because I always told myself to live for one more day. Yes, I still have days where I feel like the only way out is to end it there but they are rare and not as often as before. I am proud of myself, although I sometimes can't see how far I've come. I'm still proud and proud of anyone here who decided to live again.
Congratulations. For this success. Your video Is so good and motivate. Just so long. Thank you
Well, now I feel like the bright and positive future me is already here ☀️
I've spent these last three years fighting against depression and mental breakdowns that were slowly destroying me.... I've lost count of how many nights I've cried myself to sleep, scared to face another bad day, and how many extremely bad thoughts have crossed my mind... I wasn't living anymore, and I was scared.
But lately something has changed: I've started noticing small details that make me happy, I've met a very special person that showed me how to heal and now, after a long time, I can finally say I don't feel broken anymore. Sometimes I find myself crying for apparently no reason, but you know what? These are tears of joy: I'm so glad to be still here, to feel joy and hope and not pain nor depression...
I think I've got my miracle, and I'm pretty sure you'll all get yours one day❤️
Stay strong and don't give up, my friends, there's always a light in the darkness for everyone 💪🏻🌟✨
Masz cudowny talent i wrażliwość, od dłuższego czasu obserwuje twoje filmy i jestem pod ogromnym wrażeniem jak wiele można przekazać na ekranie. Tym filmem wzruszyłaś mnie do łez i to nie były łzy smutku, smakowały zupełnie inaczej, jak coś czego mi od dawna brakowało. Dziękuję ci za ten film i mam nadzieję, że będziesz tworzyć więcej, więcej i więcej
Amazing, as always Kat. Thank you!
thank you kat, this may be my favorite video of yours. It really resonates with my own experience and makes me feel grateful that a part of you today has felt the light after the dark for so long. Thank you again Kat
For a while now your videos have been my comfort; you validate my feelings, thoughts and get me through things with your wonderful videos. You even bring to life my thoughts and emotions that I haven’t been able to do myself, I’m thankful for that. Although words and small gestures like this might not count for as much as your videos do for me, I still want you to know I’m grateful. Thank you
ur voice is so calming and gives me calmness
I love ur work
your videos are where I come back to charge my energy and keep going on with life. I went through the same and it is like you read my mind. It is so relaxing and peacefull. ❤
As much as it sucks to go threw it’s nice to not feel alone & like no one understands.thank u,ur a beautiful strong woman!!!!!!!
this video makes today a little better, thanks kat ❤
thank you so much for your videos, i respect it so hard. I will share it with some of my friends, who are really suffering right now. I hope they will reach out. Thank you.
Lovely video as always really inspiring 💓✨Super exited by this video! I cried super inspiring 🥺💓
Thank you for this, Kat. I really needed to hear this right now. Listened to it again before bed, maybe it will help my subconscious. I think you're a real life saver. Be safe
This is making me cry… it touches in a really different way
Glad your okay. We love you Kat and we missed your videos🥰
You can't imagine how a great work you did
I'm really grateful to you for that
All the beautiful words and support that you gave me ❤️
Thank you. I needed this.
What a masterpiece. I am truly touched
You don’t know how much lives you helped.
this must be one of your most beautiful and emotional video ever. i forgot that i actually buy music cds to appreciate the innocent yet traumatic past as i’ve been through even if others don’t listen to cds anymore. it takes me back to the worst time which is the reason why i am who i am today. this video is so fucking beautiful. thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Hey! I’d highly appreciate if you take a look at my content and support it by subscribing if you like it? ☺️ just trying to share my videos with more people 🙂
This is what I needed to hear today. Thank you Kat. I have been suffering from OCD for about 5 years and only one year ago we managed to find the right combination of antidepressants which works very well for me. I got rid of most of my obsessions. I still have some, but now there is a hope hidden in the depth of my heart that one day I'll get back to a normal life again 💖
As always, just outstanding
I really need this. Thank you x
This is the best video I have watched all day! Thank You ✨🤍
you make my day better now, thank you🥰💕💞
Beautiful- this might be your BEST Video EVER !!!!
I mean i love your videos they gave me hope when i needed the most
I've been wanting to ending it all recently, this helped me in a way, thankyou for making these💕
Know that you are so loved in this world and you should be so proud of yourself for holding on:))
This is, at least, one of the most beautiful and meaningful videos I’ve ever watched. Thank you ❤️
Honestly life has slowly but surely been pretty oke for me for a few months now. Im out of therapy and look back at another life from the last 6 years, where it sometimes feels like I'm not the same person. Other times I can't wait to be back down so low, to feel evertthing overwelm me again, but I don't want that. I want the new responsibilty and the life that I could have.
Yet this video comes at a great time for me. Your videos helped me explain to others what I was and am going through. Now this one gives words on how my mental state is at the moment. Relatively good days with some bad days inbetween. Gotta hold on, stay strong and never give up. Take life 1 tiny baby step at the time, even if that makes you fall back down to the depths of hell. Everytime I chose and will continue to choose to put 1 foot in front of the other. Where my road will take me, I don't know. But I do know that I will experience more beatifull moments/thoughts/views/music and good days. Thats enough for me.
Stay strong and don't do anything permanent for something that lasts temporarily
Thank you for this!
Loves from Brazil. 💖
thanks kat, you make this life a lot better :3
this video is so amazing and it gives me also a lot of hope for the future .
Wow ! Beautiful, really, thank you!
I had depression for not so long ago and I can say now that I'm enjoying my life ! 💛 Hold on everyone, It's so much worth it, you'll see !
Flawless.
Helped a lot.
Both things apply to entire channel too.
Love from Lechia
Don't know what else to say but thank you, really. Needed to hear this.
Thank You 💜
Your channel means so much to me 🥰 (from Florida!)
You are a blessing, thank you so so much 🤍✨
Thats amazing, it gives me shivers how i can relate
Thank you so much for this video that I really needed sth we need someone that tell us we should hold on and wait for better day and I know one day everyone will can taste good day maybe for one day on their life maybe for more than a day....💕but we can just waiting for better day🌻
Love you Kat! thank you♥️
I love your all videos. You inspire me🌸🌸 Your voice is like fairytale.🎈
As someone that dealt with depression and other issues for more that 8 years, it is slowly getting a little better, I took the chance to try, it’s not all good, I don’t know if I’m happy, but there is definitely something… different, so to anyone out there, there may be a day where as Nat said, drinking coffe feels good and you may want to sit down under a tree to watch the clouds, and the tears won’t come out as bitter, there is hope for everybody and you never know, that person that we are waiting for to save us, may be us, I know too that one day I may not want to die, I hope for that too, as a writer said once, people live to save themselves
I TRULY ADMIRE YOUR WORK AND PERSONALITY... WE HAD THIS SIMILAR IDEAS BUT THE PROBLEM WITH ME IS I CANNOT EXPRESS MYSELF THAT MUCH IN MY CONTENTS COZ I ALWAYS THOUGHT MAYBE ITS NOT OKAY OR MAYBE MOST PEOPLE FROM MY VIEWERS WILL NOT GONNA LIKE IT.. BUT NOW THAT I SAW YOUR CHANNEL I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK U
UR NOW MY INSPIRATION
Dzięki Ci za ten film, zwłaszcza dziś ❤️
You speak like my mind's language))) Keep up the good prediction of future! Like you described, there are always a great day that costs a bad year.
"Today you're living, not just surviving"... Ohhhh that hit me hard, like really really hard
Love love love your videos 💕
They help me so much
Happy to hear!
thank you for this.
Thank you.. with all my heart, thank you♥️
Thank you for such video!! I want to share one thing!! I’m staying with my family and even they know now it’s been extreme as I’ve told them about everything!! It’s difficult for me to stay at home and can’t go outside I’m still holding on because I know I’ll come out of this on my own but idk when it’s been more then a month now and from the past 4-5 years it’s happening!! It comes in phases and it goes idk how!! But for the first time I’m taking online therapies but I know that whatever they tell me or whatever it is!! I know everything and still I feel like this!! I’m smiling and I want to cry also at the same time!! I know I’m wasting my time and running from my side and because of that I’m taking bad decision and not taking at all!! I don’t want to take any action or decisions for now but it’s getting difficult also to survive but my family support is there but still it’s hard!! Idk when will this end I feel bad about myself and I hate myself!!
I’m so sorry you feel this way. My teenage daughter expresses that she feels the same way, says she’s tired of feeling like that and that it’s exhausting. She says she know she has the support but doesn’t know why she feels like that and that she just wants to be happy. I wish I can help her
@@jessirey4 yes, everything feels good and all of a sudden it comes and stays for a short time maybe long time!! I’ve no idea when it comes and goes!! It’s destroying life!! I’m scared of life I was so good 2months back for a long time and after a long time I was good for a while after 1 or more then 1 year it came and fuck it’s suffocating!! Let me know if we can talk somewhere please
@@jessirey4 there don't have to be a reason I've self harmed a lot of my life just feeling like I don't matter anymore
@@astalavista5328 so what to do now? How are you now? It’s still the same?
I’m just living for the point of it
Suppose you're feeling that this life is over . Everyone has taken the best of you and you don't know what will happen anyway...maybe the worst. After that you found this vedio to acknowledge yourself again! So serene, eternal.
I would like to see in the future! DONT GIVE UP, YOU ARE MORE STRONG THAN YOU THINK PLEASE DONT GIVE UP!!!!!
We need you💖
🇧🇷💋😍
As i struggle with depression for at least the Last 3 1/2 years, i feelt this on an other Level today. I am Stuck in bed with covid. My most affective medicine always Used to be movement with my body, being able to use my body to feel good. Now i am literally Stuck. The Last week was a nightmare for me. It is difficult for me to rest my body. It triggers so much right now. I really did needed this video.
This means the world to me 😭❤️
i needed this. so much today. i remember watching your videos of dealing with depression, years ago. i’ve had my good and bad times since, tasted death as you said in more ways than one. but today, i’m okay. and i’ll hold on thanks to this.
I'm writing about 8 months later. Had many great happiness filled months. But suddenly everything has come crashing down. Just when I feel as if I had it all, I feel empty with nothing. I will hold on, I will try. But life is not kind, I am tired, and I just want to be happy. Why does that feel like such an impossible task in this world..
@@keyowhahi hope you won that fight again. Everything best for you
I did, and I'm better than ever. Thank you, I hope you're doing good too.@@mateuszd1381
@@mateuszd1381 I did, thank you. Hope you're doing okay too
Ah, what a treat I've happened across this morning. Thanks again.
Edit: This would have felt far different had I not been so bad off yesterday. I feel a bit better.
♥️♥️♥️
Amazing 💗
You're doing so great, Kat! I'm fucking proud of you, of us
Girlsss I miss u so muchhh 🥺
Love you Kat 💌
This was a really nice letter, I hope it was cathartic for you. As someone whose life feels stagnant at the moment, having applied for job after job after job and getting nothing back from 99% of them, I've said 'It'll all work out in the end' everyday, less out of expectation and hope but just out of feeling like it's what you say. If I don't laugh about it I'll cry. Hope seems a long way away at the moment, and sometimes it definitely feels like the universe is telling me to give up, once and for all, and that I'm destined to never make progress.
But I went for a walk today, saw some bluebells and some deer and for an hour and a half I felt a peace that I don't want to never be able to experience again.
I know how hollow it sounds, especially over the internet from someone you've never met and will likely never meet, but I hope you stay well Kat. Hope that there is some positive progress in your situations and circumstances. And that you keep looking after yourself. I always enjoy your content, it's always a welcome period of time to think and reflect. Thanks for that.
it’s worth it to keep going.
Who cares if today might feel impossible ?
I want tomorrow more than any sunshine !
This video made me think of so many memories i've never had before 🥺
It's just unspeakably sad
I needed this video i really needed it
Thank you me from the future
(I'll Say 'ur welcome' in the future.... 🤍)
thank you.
today so far has been a tiny bit better. so far. thank you, kat :)
I don't know why this video hasn't got million of views
We missed you 🥰❤️
I remember finding you through the depression video and it’s really nice and refreshing after all these years watching this video❤️🩹
Amen 🙏
Almost made me cry 😭
Nice one. Hopefully I will feel like this someday, but probably not. going strong on my 17th year now of my 33 years of living :p
I don't have depression but I feel awful, even like I don't care and it won't be better.
Thank you 💛
Love it
Wonderful video🙂👍
❤ , sighed, from all the beautiful people here ♥️
Dziękujemy.
It’s hard to go to work when you feel this dark
Thanks!
I've loved your channel for many years. Your resemblance to Emma Mackey from the Netflix series 'Sex Education' is uncanny 🖤
Just crying.
I LOVE YOU KAT
My mind is out of control and so mean to me especially in the Times of boredom
I sometimes cry because they are so loud .🤕
I kept crying as i watched this. I really wanted someone to tell me this. I just want this pain to end..... I just want to allow myself to be happy and calm.
❤️
Thanks again
I may have to save this as an audio and listen to it everyday i'm not going to lie. You might have just given me hope . If by some chance you happen to see this thank you Kat i mean it ❤
Best of luck! ❤️
How does it end from a day into the other?
By the way, amazing video literally