I'm sorry I’m not sober.

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 23 июн 2018
  • "I'm sorry to myself"
    I did not expect to be posting this. I hate how personal this is, and i hate how embarked i am over admitting it. Tomorrow I'm gonna hate myself for posting this, I know I will, but I'm very done with this honestly. It's both very triggering and sad but something extremely important and worth it.
    Admitting mistakes doesn't make you weak. Mistakes are part of recovery and life in general. Recovery scares the crap out of me, more than getting worse does, but I know I owe it to my future self to try. Everyone deserves recovery, even if you don't believe it yourself, trust me, you do.
  • КиноКино

Комментарии • 211

  • @user-ez6pn
    @user-ez6pn 6 лет назад +303

    being sober doesn’t just mean being free alcohol, it means to be free of the addictions that tie you down and this video really showed that. i love u so much and this is amazing

    • @aya123444
      @aya123444 3 года назад +3

      Yup...I'm addicted to day dreaming and avoidance...

  • @hannahlovatox
    @hannahlovatox 6 лет назад +153

    your videos are always so beautifully tragic. i love this so much

  • @xbreathinrecords
    @xbreathinrecords 6 лет назад +77

    this is beyond speechless and so powerful. i dealt with depression and all i think of is dying every day, i was crying every day, anger every day, giving up on life every day. this is so message worthy and thank you for posting this video. if you need someone to talk to, i'm here. ❤️

    • @nuur2966
      @nuur2966 6 лет назад

      dylan duh hey I would like to talk to you.

  • @humaira6891
    @humaira6891 6 лет назад +78

    this is powerful.

  • @GlamourStar0x
    @GlamourStar0x 6 лет назад +69

    hahaha when I saw that you'd deleted the video I kneww you'd gotten inspired! and im glad you did because now we've been blessed with this MASTERPIECE! I love it! so sad, but very good, edited so well

  • @Diana-ez1dx
    @Diana-ez1dx 4 года назад +57

    The first time I got drunk I was 13, still in middle school. I liked the feeling, it used to make me feel happy but it also made me want to just cry. After school I would drink when I could. I remember one night I was crying and I was so frustrated, I went to the kitchen and I got a bottle of wine, it was full and I remember being in bed, crying and I was drinking it fast, then like 2 hours later I went to the kitchen to get water, I knew I was about to throw up. When I was going to the kitchen, I couldn't walk, I kept falling and hitting the walls then I went to the restroom and sat in the floor, I was shaking then I threw up, for some reason it felt good, then I went to my bed and blacked out, I woke the next day and my head was pounding.
    A few days later, I had gotten another bottle of wine. I had put some on a plastic cup. I would go on top of the roof and drink it. I would stand up and wonder what would happen if I were to jump off. I would do this after school.
    I'm now 15. There would be periods of time where I wouldn't drink and other times were I would. When I was 14, I would get drunk at school. Once I mix drinks and I had blacked out in one of my classes. The principal had came in to talk to me but she didn't find out . I did that a lot.
    Now that I'm 15, I want to stop, I know it's not good. I have a lot of problems with my abdomen. Yesterday I drank at school. I hated myself for doing it. My body was shaking a lot. I wanted to cry. I hated myself because I had promised myself that I wouldn't do it again. I hate breaking promises, especially to myself. I went home and cried a lot. I had trouble sleeping. I just kept thinking about it. I wanted to drink so bad. I would think of ways to get alcohol. I would have done it if I had no control at all but I do. I'm glad of that.
    I want to stop drinking. It won't be easy sometimes but I will try my hardest to.

    • @notsonormalnia4278
      @notsonormalnia4278 4 года назад

      Diana im going thru this too but with weed

    • @username-ck3uu
      @username-ck3uu 4 года назад

      *my first time smoking and* *drinking was 13 (first year of* *highschool) huge regrets.*

    • @ellafox3419
      @ellafox3419 4 года назад +3

      you definitely need to get some help. you can’t do this all by yourself, you will feel so much better if you talk to a trusted adult abt it.

    • @chocolatymilk2402
      @chocolatymilk2402 3 года назад +1

      Hey, how are you feeling now? Did you manage to quit your addiction yet? I really hope you did. i'm 15 btw i think ur 16 now cuz you wrote this a year ago. Please remember that you can do this and you have full control, stay safe.

    • @jichungbae7463
      @jichungbae7463 3 года назад

      I can relate. make the right choice. im proud of you realizing your addiction and that youre trying hard to stop. i respect that a lot.

  • @TeamHodgins
    @TeamHodgins 6 лет назад +6

    This is incredible and so so powerful. Thank you for making this

  • @impossibletardis
    @impossibletardis 6 лет назад

    this is powerful in so many ways, i love the way that you made this video and portrayed such message, you’re a real artist.

  • @xDarkestDesiresx
    @xDarkestDesiresx 6 лет назад +4

    This is so incredibly sad.. you made me cry with this video. Beautiful work.

  • @lou-xr5rz
    @lou-xr5rz 6 лет назад +1

    you have a way of getting straight to my heart… i love all your videos. this was heartbreaking but _wow_ … you are so talented

  • @emma92peche
    @emma92peche 6 лет назад +4

    THIS WAS SO MAGICAL, BEAUTIFUL AND POWERFUL, UR SKILLS EVERY DAY INSPIRE ME, YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVS VIDEO MAKERS HERE ON RUclips BC YOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO CATCH THE FEELING, THE SCENES, THE QUOTES AND THE THEME OF THE PROJECT...its so touching, im blessed, thank you for another masterpiece ♥

  • @user-ht7dw8gl7f
    @user-ht7dw8gl7f 6 лет назад +32

    i don’t know why i am crying in the club rn

  • @xXTheMarkOfPoseidonXx
    @xXTheMarkOfPoseidonXx 6 лет назад

    I’ve rewatched this video like 6 times, and it leaves me speechless every time. It’s gorgeous.

  • @intheesnow
    @intheesnow 6 лет назад +17

    This made me cry, its so powerful...

  • @Laura-tf2pl
    @Laura-tf2pl 6 лет назад

    I'M CRYING 😭😭😭 THIS IS SO POWERFUL !!!!!! you have so much talent it's incredible ❤

  • @BouShepard
    @BouShepard 6 лет назад

    This is absolutely breathtaking... it's so powerful... so emotional... stay strong girl! 💙

  • @MultiFandons
    @MultiFandons 6 лет назад +6

    this is so beautiful and powerful!!

  • @peterlosingwendy7
    @peterlosingwendy7 6 лет назад +1

    So powerful and moving ❤️ thank you.

  • @isi15love
    @isi15love 6 лет назад

    Oh my goshhhh this is a masterpiece ❤️💜💗 thank you so so much !!!

  • @MrHoles96
    @MrHoles96 6 лет назад +9

    this is haunting. thank you.
    I think i need to go think for a bit...

  • @worldofivy8816
    @worldofivy8816 6 лет назад +2

    This song broke me,and video even more. 😭😭😭💔💔💔 Amazing job

  • @DanielaLealfabforever
    @DanielaLealfabforever 6 лет назад

    I am actually crying right now, this is beautiful

  • @Sexibatman
    @Sexibatman 6 лет назад

    This is so heartbreaking and beautiful!! ;0;

  • @kttypng
    @kttypng 6 лет назад +3

    this is making me speechless, i love this song!!

  • @VioletEmerald
    @VioletEmerald 6 лет назад +8

    Ah so intense!! What a beautiful masterpiece, every second capturing all the raw pain.

    • @VioletEmerald
      @VioletEmerald 6 лет назад

      Btw at 1:50, where she says "this is not about you", what fandom was that?

    • @VEKProduction
      @VEKProduction  6 лет назад

      luvtheheaven5 it’s the movie sharing the secret :)

    • @VioletEmerald
      @VioletEmerald 6 лет назад

      Thank you!

  • @fproduction1017
    @fproduction1017 5 лет назад

    Only tears 😭❤
    You are so, so great 👏

  • @wolfie5499
    @wolfie5499 Год назад

    I watch a lot of these videos and normally I only relate to a few or most of the characters but thi time I related to every single one. Beautiful video.

  • @justiejoonie
    @justiejoonie 6 лет назад +4

    Wow!! My goosebumps are getting goosebumps.

  • @dizzy60527
    @dizzy60527 6 лет назад +19

    I wasn't ready for this...

  • @atsangel777xd9
    @atsangel777xd9 6 лет назад

    Wow. This was so powerful and meaningful

  • @anagarrett8871
    @anagarrett8871 6 лет назад

    you are absolutely one of the most talented vidders on youtube.

  • @crapreact5989
    @crapreact5989 6 лет назад

    i love ur style of editing

  • @badlandskingdom
    @badlandskingdom 6 лет назад

    wow this is amazing 😩❤️

  • @malachi5571
    @malachi5571 5 лет назад +1

    I love that small clip of IT with Beverly

  • @odetteidk4649
    @odetteidk4649 4 года назад +12

    the shows that i know
    recovery road
    13 reasons why
    to the bone
    true blood
    midnight sun
    scream
    the society
    skins
    the 100
    cyberbully
    I think I saw a scene from crazy/beautiful 2001 but im not sure
    gossip girl
    riverdale
    vampire diaries
    perfect sisters
    the edge of seventeen
    dance academy
    shameless

    • @maxivndres
      @maxivndres 4 года назад

      The walking dead too

  • @brer4876
    @brer4876 6 лет назад +1

    This is beautiful

  • @vosler1999
    @vosler1999 6 лет назад +1

    Raw.
    Brilliant.

  • @dxnvers8382
    @dxnvers8382 5 лет назад

    this is so heartbreaking

  • @lucabelle6722
    @lucabelle6722 6 лет назад

    This is an absolute masterpiece

  • @danielegalati1416
    @danielegalati1416 5 лет назад

    Simply amazing...💔💔

  • @fangirlfiles3
    @fangirlfiles3 6 лет назад

    This is so good!

  • @megwicks1595
    @megwicks1595 6 лет назад

    This is amazing!

  • @Edyegreen
    @Edyegreen 6 лет назад

    A true masterpiece❤️👌🏽

  • @isabella4198
    @isabella4198 2 года назад

    my mom has been addicted to drugs my whole life. i try to remember that it's hard for her as well, but i just have so much resent for her. it changes who you are completely. it makes her selfish and manipulative and ruins every relationship. i wish i could let go of this huge weight on my shoulders i have by resenting her and her actions to choose drugs over me time and time again but its almost impossible

  • @nuur2966
    @nuur2966 6 лет назад

    This phenomenal 💕💙😭😭

  • @prashastiashok372
    @prashastiashok372 5 лет назад

    I love all your videos

  • @Jessica-zr5hl
    @Jessica-zr5hl 6 лет назад

    This is a beautiful video

  • @alissamaas1265
    @alissamaas1265 6 лет назад

    LOVE THIS

  • @kingjeremysircornwell7847
    @kingjeremysircornwell7847 5 лет назад

    Family's health is one. Poison one person the family goes down.

  • @freetobe1001
    @freetobe1001 6 лет назад

    This is magic.

  • @GossipVal1
    @GossipVal1 6 лет назад

    wow good job on this!

  • @eglantines8661
    @eglantines8661 6 лет назад

    Beautiful

  • @cruzalvarez4th864
    @cruzalvarez4th864 3 года назад

    This one really really fucking hit. So damn hard. I never related to basically anything more real. 👌💔

  • @carahilse3212
    @carahilse3212 5 лет назад

    great video❤️ from which show/movie was the scene at 2.06?

  • @torianakemiin3965
    @torianakemiin3965 5 лет назад +4

    Please, tell me ALL the films, what are you known.
    I will be very grateful to you!

  • @mckenziewarden3486
    @mckenziewarden3486 5 лет назад

    I struggle with tried to deal with deaths family relatives it's so hard to deal with that 😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

  • @purplesapphire8836
    @purplesapphire8836 5 лет назад

    This is tragic and sad👏

  • @myruinsx
    @myruinsx 6 лет назад +2

    Thanks for cancel the collab and made this masterpiece

  • @lachainedunefille840
    @lachainedunefille840 6 лет назад

    This is soo sad omg 😭😭

  • @lilianaivanicova4192
    @lilianaivanicova4192 5 лет назад +2

    Hello do someone have a list with these movies/shows 🙏🙏❤

  • @alexanderpaulsen7219
    @alexanderpaulsen7219 Год назад

  • @jeaboi1625
    @jeaboi1625 6 лет назад +18

    i have problem with alcohol. Maybe I'm 17 but it really doesn't matter. Its really hard not to drink for a one single day. I cant handle this. I want to die because I lost everyone who matters to me

    • @ust1149
      @ust1149 5 лет назад +1

      jea boi stay strong, god brought you here to face the challenges you face, your a true brave person! I suggest you get help and you will find a happy world!

    • @jeaboi1625
      @jeaboi1625 5 лет назад +1

      Łûšt i’m sober for 2 months. it’s really hard but my ex boyfriend helped me. my current boyfriend is better for me because i stopped completely. sometimes i just wanna shot of vodka or anything but i have to be strong. i have people in my life that i cannot lost

    • @jeaboi1625
      @jeaboi1625 5 лет назад

      lose*

    • @L3TTHELIGHT
      @L3TTHELIGHT 5 лет назад

      jea boi well done on being sober for 2 months! wish nothing but happiness for you❤️

    • @jeaboi1625
      @jeaboi1625 4 года назад

      @@L3TTHELIGHT yeah lil update. my life is a mess, im a drug addict so yea i fucked up

  • @sabrinacardoso8614
    @sabrinacardoso8614 6 лет назад +1

    What are the series or movie of that video? please say

  • @athandileqwaqwa3375
    @athandileqwaqwa3375 6 лет назад +2

    please tell me the movies or shows in these video

  • @123lorane
    @123lorane 3 года назад

    I'm not lonely , I have a lot of people in my life
    Only problem is ......
    They either leave, walk over me , break my heart,play with my feelings, use me , are fake,or don't care about me 💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭

  • @mh9258
    @mh9258 6 лет назад

    it's amazing and powerful, pure masterpiece honestly my heart is broken... And sorry i dont want to be annoying but 2:05-2:06 what is the movie or tv show with the two girls in the shower ? i need to watch omg:(
    (sorry for my mistakes im not english but im so in love with ur edits)

  • @nicole27777
    @nicole27777 5 лет назад

    Sober made me 😢

  • @fateleeds
    @fateleeds 6 лет назад

    YASSSSS

  • @Mantosds
    @Mantosds 5 лет назад

    ficou simplesmente marabilhoso

  • @ariannyaquino6102
    @ariannyaquino6102 5 лет назад

    Can someone tell me what’s the name of the film when the video started?

  • @kierar4905
    @kierar4905 4 года назад +1

    Does anyone know what show(or movie) 1:54 is from?

  • @karlastruve7636
    @karlastruve7636 5 лет назад +1

    I missed Elenor from the royals!!

  • @DanielaLealfabforever
    @DanielaLealfabforever 6 лет назад

    whats the movie/tv show that Kat Dennings appears in?

  • @k-5608
    @k-5608 5 лет назад

    Such a beautiful edit and a perfect song to go with it I know you probably get this a lot but what show was .25-.26?

    • @VEKProduction
      @VEKProduction  5 лет назад

      Sofa King awesome from dusk till dawn

    • @k-5608
      @k-5608 5 лет назад

      VEKProduction I’m sorry for bothering you it’s late here as well

    • @VEKProduction
      @VEKProduction  5 лет назад

      Kat Duh hun its okay!!

    • @k-5608
      @k-5608 5 лет назад

      VEKProduction IM SO SORRY I know I’m being annoying 🤧 but I’ve been struggling to find out who .11 to .13 is Im really am sorry 😖

    • @VEKProduction
      @VEKProduction  5 лет назад

      Kat Duh haha its fine really, its recovery road

  • @Jessica-te4gf
    @Jessica-te4gf 6 лет назад

    Your videos are always so incredible!!! What's the movie/tv show in 2:08?

    • @maahmatchelle
      @maahmatchelle 6 лет назад

      If it's the closeup on the girl's eyes it's Riverdale, the scene before I don't know.

    • @Jessica-te4gf
      @Jessica-te4gf 6 лет назад

      it's the scene before :/

    • @marapaulie3662
      @marapaulie3662 5 лет назад

      astromedas Gypsy

    • @elloguvna6820
      @elloguvna6820 2 года назад

      It’s from gypsy

  • @sabrinacardoso8614
    @sabrinacardoso8614 6 лет назад

    What series and movies are you please?

  • @joeannie9618
    @joeannie9618 4 года назад

    What movie is that off of with the girl that said everyone makes me feel like I’m not right the way I am

    • @kulturevulture7233
      @kulturevulture7233 4 года назад

      It's from the show How to Get Away With Murder. Viola Davis.

  • @caitlinbraun1011
    @caitlinbraun1011 4 года назад

    1:49 what’s that show/movie called?

  • @niccpink2367
    @niccpink2367 4 года назад

    What show / movie is at 36 seconds

  • @taherakhambata3620
    @taherakhambata3620 4 года назад

    sorry but does anyone one know what movie or tv show it is 1:02 with the blonde girl?

  • @niccpink2367
    @niccpink2367 4 года назад

    What show \ movie is 28-29 blonde hair crying

  • @tarasmiles7003
    @tarasmiles7003 7 месяцев назад

    What is the movie/shows shown?

  • @magnusgabriel6710
    @magnusgabriel6710 3 года назад

    They ask why I take snus(nicotine pods) and why I drink alc. 2 well they help me to forgot just for a moment a free moment, I miss u everyday leonie I love you

  • @lilithismybabydaddy452
    @lilithismybabydaddy452 5 лет назад +2

    1:12? And also all the movies and TV shows in the video please?

    • @jordyn8272
      @jordyn8272 2 года назад

      It’s a show called recovery road

  • @samanthaterry9056
    @samanthaterry9056 Год назад

    Can someone tell me what show or movie 0:26 is??

  • @TheLelo151
    @TheLelo151 4 года назад

    what show or movie please 1:54 ???

  • @theprinceetn2568
    @theprinceetn2568 5 лет назад

    I don’t know why but i was waiting for the scene in Cyberbully when Taylor try to kill herself. Love your video ❤️

  • @niccpink2367
    @niccpink2367 5 лет назад

    And last thing what movie or show is 1:13 please let me know thanks❤️❤️

  • @dxnvers8382
    @dxnvers8382 3 года назад +1

    1:20? The girl that says please tell me what to do, I've been trying to find her for so long and I have no idea from what show/movie she is from

    • @aris.812
      @aris.812 3 года назад +1

      It s from gypsy a netflix tv show

    • @dxnvers8382
      @dxnvers8382 3 года назад

      @@aris.812 thank you so much!!

    • @aris.812
      @aris.812 3 года назад

      You re welcome!

  • @ariahaze573
    @ariahaze573 5 лет назад +1

    1:23 movie?

  • @sadlife665
    @sadlife665 5 лет назад +1

    Movies?

  • @aaliyahmeyers5474
    @aaliyahmeyers5474 5 лет назад +4

    what show is 1:12?

  • @LuanaSouza-zk5cl
    @LuanaSouza-zk5cl 6 лет назад +2

    Quais séries?

  • @bal9944
    @bal9944 2 месяца назад

    4 days sober

  • @niccpink2367
    @niccpink2367 5 лет назад

    What show or movie is 0:29 the blonde hair girl with makeup down her face? And what is 0:31 the straight hair looking in the mirror not curly

    • @IzzysHere
      @IzzysHere 5 лет назад +1

      0:31 is Jessica Jones. 0:29 the actress is Taylor Momsen, I think it might be Gossip Girl but not sure

  • @ariahaze573
    @ariahaze573 5 лет назад +1

    1:23 and 1:29 movie? Please someoneeee

  • @girlinbabypink4225
    @girlinbabypink4225 5 лет назад +1

    2:38 ? Where is it from??

  • @alinabathke3832
    @alinabathke3832 2 года назад

    Movie names?

  • @ionapawsey3896
    @ionapawsey3896 6 лет назад

    Whats the girl in the purple jumper from? 1:51

  • @sunflowers8179
    @sunflowers8179 6 лет назад

    What are the shows called ?