I went somewhere, somewhere where it makes me happy. I've always said that anywhere but 'home' is my happy place, but that isn't true anymore. No energy lies in my body, nor happiness. The beginning of those thoughts start again, but I don't care. Deep down i know id rather fix this and live my life, but its not something this, 'me', wants right now. I don't know what I want, but it doesn't really matter what I want because getting what I want involves energy. Energy and determination that I don't have to fulfil.
I want people to make the effort and be there for me and care about me the way I care for them and make the effort to be there for them, but at the same time, I want everyone to abandon me so I can disappear without feeling guilty & causing pain.
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl but what ever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ~Martin Luther king Keep fighting, this too shall pass, I promise.
Big virtual hugs to those that need them from somebody who became paralyzed from a motorcycle accident.Just taking things 1 day at a time is all we can do.
I found your videos a few days ago and they encapsulate the human condition sooo much the pain you convey ripples through every molecule I am made of and it makes me stronger to embrace it. Thank you
To the person who read this, It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved, because you are, I love you trough all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe you heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be, because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tired to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, your mentally tired, but dont your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it, when you don’t feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here. I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend. “Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you. In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here. I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay? Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one. If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :) have a good day and great years. I love you so much and am so proud of you, I hope you will remember my words- becho, the stranger that cares more about you than anything :)
You never really know how much they care, even if they don’t show it, until you try to commit. That was the story for me anyway. Never seen my mum cry like that before
I can't help but relate so much to this. My family doesn't care what I want to do, and at this point all I want is to be happy, and it won't happen until I am truly alone. I stay depressed out of spite.
Empty...nothing ...that’s all . I’m unable to feel myself. I think it’s better to feel , to cry out and scream rather than being stuck in this endless loop of autopilot..I don’t even care if I make sense rn .
"You can never stay broken" that is what I've always told myself but now I know it's a lie... I lost the love of my life in a car accident and I've yet to find happiness again... I still have our promise ring I was going to be with her forever I thought... But I was wrong I know I'm not supposed to but I want to go and be with her...
I'm so sorry for your loss... I cant even imagine the pain youre going through. But i really hope that you're still here and that you will stay strong. Please don't give up. There's always a future... 🌻
Whatever ely is stupid idiots like you who want sympathy and your not going to get any screw you and screw the love of your life I'M HAPPY she's burning in Hell and if you want to join her then join her ugly self.
Everyone i ever loved or cared about has left "I promise ill never leave" is always the most common line. And the biggest lie. Truly have nobody. Never will. Starting to accept it.
I am sorry you feel alone and abandoned. Jesus loves you -- He will never leave you nor forsake you. ❤ Talk to Him; He listens even now. Pray to Him in your brokenheartedness and He will hear...❤
I hate the people that pretend to relate to this when you see them in public with a bunch of friends and on social media constantly. No one understands loneliness until you have to self sooth every day of your life. Until you start to forget what any sort of physical touch or emotional love is even like.
actually my best friend is like that.. she knows people, has a laugh maybe, but in the end it's all a facade... she's so vulnerable that she's created an entire different persona to show the others... I've seen glimpses of her true self. don't know how much, heck it might even be just a crack in the wall.. but honestly? even the most social people can be so damn lonely sometimes..
I am still trapped watching over my elders, bound by my love to watch as the family I based my entire being around withers and fades away; soon they will leave me behind with only kin that have stolen and betrayed me half-a-dozen times each. I'll own three houses, half dozen bank accounts, and over twelve cars within the next few years, yet they'll only be priced reminders of the priceless people that had the patience to teach a born psychopath discipline, loyalty, and the need for any man to live by a code of honor I decided would focus on limiting me on what should never be done or allowed under any circumstances. Rape, child abuse, that sort of thing. It was the start I needed to learn how to develop compassion over years of "faking it until I make it".
Man I can relate to this type of video I've been watching stuff in the same genre on RUclips being suggested to me but this is up my alley you're amazing keep up the amazing work you are touching lives in more ways than you even understand
It gets really painful 😣,when the people you thought that that really cared about you just treat you like shit, and solve there anger and frustration into you.when you were actually minding your own buisness and doing your things
Loneliness is not a feeling it is more of a cancer. whatever you do to get rid of it doesn't work, you can't beat it. It always comes back until it eventually kills us 😔.
Have I ever had that one friend that u grew up with and saw as family and u trust them so much and u can be u self around them and not worry that u won’t get judged and u thought u actually knew them but in reality they betrayed u trust it hurts realizing people u thought u knew would hurt u in a way ware u end up hurt again to the point u just end up cutting every one off and try to figure out what u did wrong but in reality u didn’t do nothing but u still feel like u did and now u empty and alone that’s how I feel every day
no one loves me, I keep loving others and giving them chance after chance just to be betrayed or to find out that they never cared about me. I am starting to feel like either im not human or im the only one, because I seem to be the only one who has true love and care for others and yet everyone else is able to trick me. Im beginning to lose all hope in people, and I don't think I can ever trust anyone again. My ex who left me a few months ago after 9 years of being together and going through addiction together, beating it, having a kid and she left me and shes with another guy. They are already getting married apparently, and the worst part is after I got evicted and lost everything and everyone else, when I needed her most, when I was homeless thats when she did it. I felt lke I hated her that day, but yet everyday I can still hear her and my son in the distance calling my name, and I just long for that again. I can never be happy again, everyone just shits on me when I talk about it but yet I know what I feel is a love that will never go away. The thing that hurts the most is, it was so quick, their was no pain on her part. It wasn't hard for her, so I guess she never loved me. And yet here I am still loving someone that isn't even real, someone who might have been real for a little bit but died. I lived with my son for 2 years and hes 2, and now I barely can see him. She does everything she can to keep me away from him... The last time I talked to him a month or 2 ago, he kept asking me where I am, and why I wont see him... That, thats what hurts most. That I can't do anything about it right now but watch as this demon I basically grew up with rips the only love I could of had. I try so hard to distract myself, but after she left me I relapsed on heroin back in may, I had just gotten off the street and was staying with one of my best friends. They always were supportive but were with some girl that didn't like me, and when I was gone she made sure to find some proof of my addiction and by then I thought I couldn't go any lower. But then at 1 am, I am woken up after a full day of work 12 hours at my remote job (it was the best job I ever had), to be told that he knew what I was doing. I was like yeah you know im going through the worst pain man. He promised for my job I could stay a few days to prepare, so I go back asleep, and then his girl comes home at 8 am, right before I was supposed to work, and tries to assault me screaming at me and says I have to go. I had no money and no where to go, but my "friend" of literally my whole life just says sorry and start putting the last belongings I managed to hold on to on the front lawn of the apartment. I had to be homeless again but this time, I don't know why they listened to her, but they still wont talk to me to this day. We were like a really tight circle of people and we have been hanging out since we were 5, and now they too are gone. I have no one, and everyone I love and care about wont acknowledge I exist. If I hung myself I bet no one would find my body. For years no one would even know, I don't matter to anyone and never will. I just hope death comes soon and its painless, but with my luck itll be the worst. Most days I curl up in a ball and cry on the ground, that job fired me because I wasn't able to contact them for that day. If you guys still have loved ones be thankful, because I fear ill never know what its like to be loved. I want to be loved so bad, but even my own mother said she wished I was dead. I honestly think I did die and this is just my personal hell.
brother, you have hit rock bottom. The only person capable of making yourself feel loved is you. Love yourself, and strive to make better of yourself so others can see the better in you; to love you. I hope you will pull through for your son and yourself 😁
I wrote a note yesterday a note for whenever that day comes I’m scared to do it but I just want the pain to be gone I can’t take it anymore I still have the note but I don’t think that, that day is ever going to come bc of how scared I am to do what I want to do I just want all of the pain to end so that I can live a normal life
I have been here at multiple points of my life.. I’m here again and this time, things are good, there 100% is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am present, please interact or comment if you are down, sad, angry, depressed, any range of emotions and want to talk 🙏🏼
i struggle everyday. i feel like my past haunts me everyday. i was raped as a kid i was 3 when it started it was my uncle. i was in and out of foster homes and i felt like shit no one wanted me. i lost everything. The family im with now i feel like they hate me i feel like they dont see me as their kid and the yell and tell me i lie but i dont. i have a bio mum who walks in and ot of my life. i have a dad who lefted me and wont talk to me i lost my sister 8 years ago and cant find her. i am shit. i tell myself everyday i am worthless cuz i aint got much left anymore
you aren't a shit is a stage in life that everyone must pass through feeling like a mess...don't just give up on the dream inside you and try to relight the spark you got...All the best in your journey of life
I won't give you any advice cause I struggle with similar issues. All I can say is that I hear you and I hope you find your place in this world with people who appreciate you for who you are. You can't give up, not yet.
@@sebastianlizak4425 awweeeeee thank you i hope your able to find yours too. i know this world is a big struggle for people and that were not alone thank you again it meant alot to me
People will always care about everything. There is nothing you can do without a eye aimed at your back. The best thing you can do is forget about what people think and be happy for yourself by yourself. And then they will come and find you when your happy bc they want to be happy and they wont change and they will bring you down.
Well... now I need to go wach red hurt my Wilson in dead poets society. Ah. Never saw it and this broke me . Oh my god. Beautifuo movie you mentioned so many different sources of loss and pain and the song ahhh I'm crying
It’s a tough gig. 35 years of having that feeling, trying to break the cycle and not pass it on to any of you, only to find out in the end, it remains the same. …keep moving forward. Be you. I’m guessing eventually it will change.
To anyone who are reading this, you are not alone and I have experienced this kind of situation countless time.. People take what they want and leave in the end, that's the harsh reality I understand this kind of feeling so I wanted to help and care for those who have experienced this too. Stand strong and if you wanna talk to me please lemme know in the comments 🙏❤
Putting down extreme authority and toxic relationships with people who don't like you, yes, but giving a hard time to people who didn't ask for it, no. Emotional situations are often complex, and even if you think that someone is to blame for what ails you, think again. For years I lived with my sister, who blamed me for everything that ailed her. Through a series of family traumas, she formed the idea that I was at fault, that I was the one to blame. Every night for years she would shout at my mother and me, saying how horrible we were, how my mother never loved her and how I loved seeing her (my sister) suffer. She even got to the point where she called me a manipulator who liked to hurt the people around me. I'm a reserved person and I can tell you that I don't give a shit about manipulating people. I tried to talk to her about it quite a few times. It was a wasted effort. She was stuck in her accusatory frame of mind and rejected all my attempts to open my heart to her. It hurt like hell; I was being hated by someone very close to me, to whom I had done nothing. What's more, I was being called all sorts of names (and so was my mother). It was totally unfair. Me and my mother put up with it for years. One day, when she became physically violent and my mother was on the edge of the abyss, we sent her to a psychiatric hospital. It may have been a hasty decision, but we were lost. I should point out that my sister agreed to go to a psychiatric hospital, because she herself couldn't take it any more. The result: psychotic disorders and bipolarity. Now, because of the medication, she doesn't feel anything. She's neither angry nor happy. It's all very strange. She seems to be on the road to recovery from her past traumas. All this to say that you shouldn't look for someone to blame for what ails you, and if you think there is one, try to understand and don't lock yourself into your traumas and preconceived ideas. Please note: I'm not trying to dissuade you from telling off those who really hurt you. Screw them. Like every human being, you have the absolute right to be respected and happy. Just think of those who are victims of the kind of reaction my sister had. Victims are designated as those who are guilty. But I'm not denying that my sister was a victim too; a victim of herself and her traumas that imprisoned her, when cries are cries for help. (PS: I'm not trying to say that you're to blame for all your ills. Life is much more complex than that. For those who really hurt you, distance yourself and protect yourself at all costs. Once you've done that, if you want to, try to understand the people who have hurt you. Some people know nothing other than how to shout at others. These people who have hurt you, mistreated you, rotten you, harassed you, etc.... themselves were nothing but tormented souls). Love on you. May you live your life in happiness. I'm open for respectful discussions :)
Yea, well my mother basically told me tough shit get over it. So I guess I don't have that sense of longing and sadness, I've just learned to dam it over time and not care. But holy hell does it hurt. The chance it would stop hurting is like a snowballs chance in hell.
I was told so many times that I was a peice of shit and that I didn't matter.. My mother also told me that she didn't care about my depression.. Like Klaus said to his mom "You're the author of everything I am" and for what I am.. I am someone whose mean and don't give a shit. Well life and my own mother is who I blame.
I really have no one, back in 2021 I had entered highschool I was in and out of the mental ward; for self harm and self sleep. The bills from the ward pilled up, my mom slowly started hating me. My stepdad he always hated me, I think it was because of me being as worthless as I am. But, highschool was a new start, something I could finally get right, I never did. I started skipping and hanging out with gangs. I did find a place though where I felt like people cared, It was a smoke shop; a getto one. I started working there; cleaner boy was the job, I saw a lot of stuff that if I say here I'm sure I would not be alive tomorrow; but my boss was so nice to me. At this point in time my mom stopped buying me stuff money was tight, she had to; I think she just never really had time to think about what I needed. My boss got me shoes, food, drinks(not water), etc. The shop closed down, anyways the gangs I would hangout with.. They were bad people, I hung out with a lot of the Mexicans. One day a big bro said something to mine, I stopped the one who said it and he got his ass kicked by mine. Long story short no one wants to be around me because of the target I used to have on my own back, I blame myself for the whole thing. If I never had stopped him from getting on that bus, maybe the kid who died would be eating with his mom, dad, brothers, and sisters. I think of it everyday. After that I stopped going to school, I was scared; days went by then weeks and then almost a year before I went back. No one remembers me now, I'm like a ghost. During that time I found love, she made me go back to school, made me leave selling and all that other stuff behind; she fixed me in a way. I still hated myself and wanted nothing more than to sit on the tracks, but I kept going for her. She lost feelings, She acted like she still had them but I could tell I broke up with her; she told after that she did lose feelings but not why she lost them. It makes me mad that I still love her, but she never even tired to work things out, it was just," Opps lost feelings time to be dry and act like I still do! ". Back to my point I have lost everything because of my pride and lost everyone because of how ugly ,fat, and worthless I am. I'm going to jobcorp next year, in a different state my mom wants to send me away I can't and won't blame them. Maybe this time it will be different, but I'm sure the loop will go on. Before I go, I don't plan on living much longer. After jobcrop I'm joining the army, gonna try and do 4 years; which I think is 4 deployments. After that I'll give myself 1 year, If I can't find meaning or someone to tie me down on earth. 25 Will be my end, just 10 years until I can stop with loop. I post this here just to talk to someone, or feel like it. Not for pity. Goodbye everyone, I hope you all have found peace in life and let your sins wash away instead of letting them eat away like I do. I wish they make a redo button before I go, heh that would be nice? I guess... Have a goodnight, afternoon, or goodday. Stay safe.
I am so very sorry you are feeling this way. I can't imagine how you must feel -- you have gone through so much alone; it sounds like you are tired of it all and feel hopeless without a future. 😞 Please do not give up on life. Please do not believe Satan's lie that you are worthless, for you are worth a mighty price, and loved by God Himself. Jesus loves you, He died for you on the cross so you might have hope in Him, a future in Him, and abide in Him. He loves you and knows your sorrow and pain. He knows your hurt, and though many have abandoned, He is there, waiting. Please do not give up. I don't know you, but I care for you as well, and pray you will regain strength. May God give you strength to live, and purpose through the pain. Satan wants you tempted unto death, and whispers to you that you are abandoned and a burden, but you are not. Jesus loves you so much He died for you; He loves you. Even today He is willing to hear you. Pray to God in Jesus' name, and He will hear your sorrow -- He alone understands. ❤ I am sorry. ❤ I will be praying for you. ❤
I feel so ugly and alone. I am going through a terrible heartbreak. Yes, he ghosted me! Everything seemed to be going so beautifully in our relationship. There was never a harsh word between us, yet, he took the cowards way out and discarded me like a dirty old rag! I feel so let down and terribly hurt. I'm an older woman and he's an older man. You'd think a man of mature age, would have more common sense, and a softer heart. I guess he has a new supply by now. It's been a year since he ghosted me. I'm sorry for everyone out there going through their own heartbreak hell! Prayers for all, and hugs too.❤❤❤😢😢😢 The saddest part of all, is that I'm still in love with him!
i watched this whole thing and felt nothing... i dont even know who i am anymore and all the pain ive caused on others i have no clue how to come to terms with.. im so disconnected and unpredictable..
I am sorry -- feeling numb sometimes is beyond pain and hurt. It can be worse than feeling great sadness, leaving you confused and absent. God loves you in your confusion and searching. All the mistakes you don't even know how to process, the hurt from others; He knows. He is here. Even when you do not have the words to express it. Jesus died for you on the cross He loved you so much -- He died for you, and rose again 3 days later. Pray to Him, for even now He listens, and knows your pain...❤ When all else fails, He will not. ❤
bruhhh the timothee chalamet scenes and the dead poet society scenes make me cry it hurtssss
what movie is it
Timothee is such a good actor
I cried so much with dead poets society and im watchin right now beautiful boy and that scene killed me:(
every boy in dead poets society was way more wholesome than timothee chalaalalay
@@mrswishadank2329 not as talented as cillian murphy in peaky blinders, he is waaay better it terms of looks AND talent
"I have nothing, No one" I felt that on a spiritual level.
Which movie
@1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse GS-T yeah bruh..
haha
@@jjk8387 Breaking Bad
That part cut deep
No one really cares, it's a lesson I've learned over and over again.
Then.... you have to care about yourself
@Lotte i love to do it, i need myselft. we need ourselfs.
It hurts to care
I must have gotten into the whiskey cabinet again.
@@dbsigna what kind of whiskey you got?
dude, who gave you the right to make me cry with this masterpiece
me
@@cantdie888warzone7 you little!
When you break a good heart who only loved you, for a shity reason you will always end up alone and in misery. Rest in peace in your despair
🇦🇩
Really felt that spiritually
not true.
kash ye sach ho
or nhi bhi, i want good for her
keep your head up
*"They only care about us... when they need us to care for them or make them feel better.."*
And in the end, i will do it all over again, because that's just how I am.
fact
“Nobody cares about you or your life except you yourself.” A lesson the earlier we learn, the better….
I went somewhere, somewhere where it makes me happy. I've always said that anywhere but 'home' is my happy place, but that isn't true anymore. No energy lies in my body, nor happiness. The beginning of those thoughts start again, but I don't care. Deep down i know id rather fix this and live my life, but its not something this, 'me', wants right now. I don't know what I want, but it doesn't really matter what I want because getting what I want involves energy. Energy and determination that I don't have to fulfil.
Thanks for writing such a wonderful comment. It has really made my day. ❤👍👍
@@CVAM_5 😌
You don’t have to have energy to have faith just believe it will get better and it will
i really dont know what 2 say hope u feel fine
@Acen波Riley:)ok
Sometimes i feel i am nothing just worthless💔
No I don't feel so, I think you're amazing even if I don't know you ✌
Isn't everybody...
Dont let the world make you feel that way, it simply isnt true
This is criminally underrated
They don’t care about you until your gone
I felt me in every frame. Great edit and bgm selection is beautiful.
Thanks Man ✌
I want people to make the effort and be there for me and care about me the way I care for them and make the effort to be there for them, but at the same time, I want everyone to abandon me so I can disappear without feeling guilty & causing pain.
Why do you speak my language? 😭😭
Exactly what I want 😭
Yeah even I use to think the way you do
But what I realised as time went by was
No one really cares and never expect anything from anyone
That's mental
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl but what ever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
~Martin Luther king
Keep fighting, this too shall pass, I promise.
Big virtual hugs to those that need them from somebody who became paralyzed from a motorcycle accident.Just taking things 1 day at a time is all we can do.
Hugs back
Hugs back man.
God bless you brother.
I'm praying for you.
I found your videos a few days ago and they encapsulate the human condition sooo much the pain you convey ripples through every molecule I am made of and it makes me stronger to embrace it. Thank you
To the person who read this,
It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved, because you are, I love you trough all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe you heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be, because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tired to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, your mentally tired, but dont your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it, when you don’t feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed.
And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here.
I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world.
You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend.
“Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you.
In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here.
I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay?
Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one.
If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :)
have a good day and great years.
I love you so much and am so proud of you, I hope you will remember my words- becho, the stranger that cares more about you than anything :)
GOD sent an angel to write this.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Im happy I found your words
Thank you💜
God, I Love You Too, Whoever you are
Kind Stranger :).
Thank you so much for your beautiful words ❤️
i saw the title and thought i will find Lip from shameless here, he would fit in for sure, great vid tho :]
same
You never really know how much they care, even if they don’t show it, until you try to commit. That was the story for me anyway. Never seen my mum cry like that before
I can't help but relate so much to this. My family doesn't care what I want to do, and at this point all I want is to be happy, and it won't happen until I am truly alone. I stay depressed out of spite.
To everyone watching this video, you deserve better. You are perfect the way you are. Never forget that.
You made me cry
Nobody’s perfect stop telling people that they’re perfect
Telling someone they're perfect the way they are, is literally the same as stunting their growth.
I wanna know and feel that but I feel like I don't belong here I crave death too many days of each week
Ha, if you say so 😂
Empty...nothing ...that’s all . I’m unable to feel myself. I think it’s better to feel , to cry out and scream rather than being stuck in this endless loop of autopilot..I don’t even care if I make sense rn .
I know what you mean ❤✌
@@CVAM_5 I’ve seen you commenting back to everyone...which is very good ...thank you. Are you good though?
@@ok-eu5pw Yes I am
@@CVAM_5 I hope it’s not a lie ...if you want to talk ...you can mate ...after all we all are here to take care of each other’s feelings and thoughts.
@@ok-eu5pw I really appreciate it ❤
But I'm fine, don't worry 😀✌
you're just makin my to watch list very big
As a breaking bad fan and a Jesse stan (he's my favorite character possibly ever) that part hurt watching the show and in this video
I think we can all agree that no villain is born or always pure evil they just had a broken childhood like us
I've lost a lot of friends a lot of, they could not appreciate me properly and these memories, that remind me of every minute and time spent 😭
It happens there will be people who appreciate it make memories be a legend my friend!
Me too lost lot of people. And those around me only pretend to be friend ig
"You can never stay broken" that is what I've always told myself but now I know it's a lie... I lost the love of my life in a car accident and I've yet to find happiness again... I still have our promise ring I was going to be with her forever I thought... But I was wrong I know I'm not supposed to but I want to go and be with her...
I'm so sorry for your loss... I cant even imagine the pain youre going through. But i really hope that you're still here and that you will stay strong. Please don't give up. There's always a future... 🌻
Hugs you tight and not let go
Whatever ely is stupid idiots like you who want sympathy and your not going to get any screw you and screw the love of your life I'M HAPPY she's burning in Hell and if you want to join her then join her ugly self.
When DPS came on I literally had to take in a breathe omg
not "literally"
Omg when the guy screamed "he can't get away with it" I felt ....
This edit really hits hard to the feelings, i love it. I sub to your channel
Thank you so much ❤️
I never knew I needed this
Everyone i ever loved or cared about has left
"I promise ill never leave" is always the most common line. And the biggest lie.
Truly have nobody. Never will. Starting to accept it.
I am sorry you feel alone and abandoned.
Jesus loves you -- He will never leave you nor forsake you. ❤ Talk to Him; He listens even now. Pray to Him in your brokenheartedness and He will hear...❤
Tim is such a good actor
I hate the people that pretend to relate to this when you see them in public with a bunch of friends and on social media constantly. No one understands loneliness until you have to self sooth every day of your life. Until you start to forget what any sort of physical touch or emotional love is even like.
actually my best friend is like that.. she knows people, has a laugh maybe, but in the end it's all a facade... she's so vulnerable that she's created an entire different persona to show the others... I've seen glimpses of her true self. don't know how much, heck it might even be just a crack in the wall.. but honestly? even the most social people can be so damn lonely sometimes..
I am still trapped watching over my elders, bound by my love to watch as the family I based my entire being around withers and fades away; soon they will leave me behind with only kin that have stolen and betrayed me half-a-dozen times each. I'll own three houses, half dozen bank accounts, and over twelve cars within the next few years, yet they'll only be priced reminders of the priceless people that had the patience to teach a born psychopath discipline, loyalty, and the need for any man to live by a code of honor I decided would focus on limiting me on what should never be done or allowed under any circumstances. Rape, child abuse, that sort of thing. It was the start I needed to learn how to develop compassion over years of "faking it until I make it".
Amen
I know it sucks and that’s why I feel alone cause everybody I know is like that
Beautiful ♥️ I’ve actually never made a sad edit before, this inspires me to make one.
Thanks a lot ✌️
Bro plz song name
Man I can relate to this type of video I've been watching stuff in the same genre on RUclips being suggested to me but this is up my alley you're amazing keep up the amazing work you are touching lives in more ways than you even understand
The passion is fucking real. Love it
It gets really painful 😣,when the people you thought that that really cared about you just treat you like shit, and solve there anger and frustration into you.when you were actually minding your own buisness and doing your things
Some of these lessons, I've learned, can only be learned the hard way
man, my recommended really hit me with the sad today
for all the people who asked about dead poets society have a fun time with that one 😪
What’s the name where it’s at 1:59 minutes in? Talking about “your suffocating me”
Movie name right ??
Beautiful Boy
@@CVAM_5 thank you
Acting is truly a beautiful art it brings out the worst and best out of people
they only need you when it benefits them is what I have learned all too many times
I said that once to my father. "You dont give a shit about me." he still thinks about it to this day.
i saw the title and i never clicked so fast
Human emotion is dangerous yet beautiful...
Damn Adam Driver wasn't talking to scarlett johansson, he was talking someone who destroyed him, brilliant acting
Loneliness is not a feeling it is more of a cancer. whatever you do to get rid of it doesn't work, you can't beat it. It always comes back until it eventually kills us 😔.
Have I ever had that one friend that u grew up with and saw as family and u trust them so much and u can be u self around them and not worry that u won’t get judged and u thought u actually knew them but in reality they betrayed u trust it hurts realizing people u thought u knew would hurt u in a way ware u end up hurt again to the point u just end up cutting every one off and try to figure out what u did wrong but in reality u didn’t do nothing but u still feel like u did and now u empty and alone that’s how I feel every day
there is so much pain in this video,and I love it
Uh.
There are things my family members have said when they thought I couldn't here that haunt me and hurt me to this day.
one of the best edits in the world.
no one loves me, I keep loving others and giving them chance after chance just to be betrayed or to find out that they never cared about me. I am starting to feel like either im not human or im the only one, because I seem to be the only one who has true love and care for others and yet everyone else is able to trick me. Im beginning to lose all hope in people, and I don't think I can ever trust anyone again. My ex who left me a few months ago after 9 years of being together and going through addiction together, beating it, having a kid and she left me and shes with another guy. They are already getting married apparently, and the worst part is after I got evicted and lost everything and everyone else, when I needed her most, when I was homeless thats when she did it. I felt lke I hated her that day, but yet everyday I can still hear her and my son in the distance calling my name, and I just long for that again. I can never be happy again, everyone just shits on me when I talk about it but yet I know what I feel is a love that will never go away. The thing that hurts the most is, it was so quick, their was no pain on her part. It wasn't hard for her, so I guess she never loved me. And yet here I am still loving someone that isn't even real, someone who might have been real for a little bit but died. I lived with my son for 2 years and hes 2, and now I barely can see him. She does everything she can to keep me away from him... The last time I talked to him a month or 2 ago, he kept asking me where I am, and why I wont see him... That, thats what hurts most. That I can't do anything about it right now but watch as this demon I basically grew up with rips the only love I could of had. I try so hard to distract myself, but after she left me I relapsed on heroin back in may, I had just gotten off the street and was staying with one of my best friends. They always were supportive but were with some girl that didn't like me, and when I was gone she made sure to find some proof of my addiction and by then I thought I couldn't go any lower. But then at 1 am, I am woken up after a full day of work 12 hours at my remote job (it was the best job I ever had), to be told that he knew what I was doing. I was like yeah you know im going through the worst pain man. He promised for my job I could stay a few days to prepare, so I go back asleep, and then his girl comes home at 8 am, right before I was supposed to work, and tries to assault me screaming at me and says I have to go. I had no money and no where to go, but my "friend" of literally my whole life just says sorry and start putting the last belongings I managed to hold on to on the front lawn of the apartment. I had to be homeless again but this time, I don't know why they listened to her, but they still wont talk to me to this day. We were like a really tight circle of people and we have been hanging out since we were 5, and now they too are gone. I have no one, and everyone I love and care about wont acknowledge I exist. If I hung myself I bet no one would find my body. For years no one would even know, I don't matter to anyone and never will. I just hope death comes soon and its painless, but with my luck itll be the worst. Most days I curl up in a ball and cry on the ground, that job fired me because I wasn't able to contact them for that day. If you guys still have loved ones be thankful, because I fear ill never know what its like to be loved. I want to be loved so bad, but even my own mother said she wished I was dead. I honestly think I did die and this is just my personal hell.
brother, you have hit rock bottom. The only person capable of making yourself feel loved is you. Love yourself, and strive to make better of yourself so others can see the better in you; to love you. I hope you will pull through for your son and yourself 😁
I get the same feeling! !!!
I wrote a note yesterday a note for whenever that day comes I’m scared to do it but I just want the pain to be gone I can’t take it anymore I still have the note but I don’t think that, that day is ever going to come bc of how scared I am to do what I want to do I just want all of the pain to end so that I can live a normal life
The pain will stop, eventually
@@Urmom-sq6lm No the pain never stops you just get used to it
Do it wimp 😂
This is really good!
Thanks ✌
I have been here at multiple points of my life.. I’m here again and this time, things are good, there 100% is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am present, please interact or comment if you are down, sad, angry, depressed, any range of emotions and want to talk 🙏🏼
The undying violin is so like the pain
i struggle everyday. i feel like my past haunts me everyday. i was raped as a kid i was 3 when it started it was my uncle. i was in and out of foster homes and i felt like shit no one wanted me. i lost everything. The family im with now i feel like they hate me i feel like they dont see me as their kid and the yell and tell me i lie but i dont. i have a bio mum who walks in and ot of my life. i have a dad who lefted me and wont talk to me i lost my sister 8 years ago and cant find her. i am shit. i tell myself everyday i am worthless cuz i aint got much left anymore
you aren't a shit is a stage in life that everyone must pass through feeling like a mess...don't just give up on the dream inside you and try to relight the spark you got...All the best in your journey of life
@@vehnyuytatah6521 thank you man that means alot
I won't give you any advice cause I struggle with similar issues. All I can say is that I hear you and I hope you find your place in this world with people who appreciate you for who you are. You can't give up, not yet.
@@sebastianlizak4425 awweeeeee thank you i hope your able to find yours too. i know this world is a big struggle for people and that were not alone thank you again it meant alot to me
Hope you doing good now
2:28
This touch me 😶
Do you know what movie it's from?
@@kaitlyndiehl4974 dead poet society
People will always care about everything. There is nothing you can do without a eye aimed at your back. The best thing you can do is forget about what people think and be happy for yourself by yourself. And then they will come and find you when your happy bc they want to be happy and they wont change and they will bring you down.
Well... now I need to go wach red hurt my Wilson in dead poets society. Ah. Never saw it and this broke me . Oh my god. Beautifuo movie you mentioned so many different sources of loss and pain and the song ahhh I'm crying
It’s a tough gig. 35 years of having that feeling, trying to break the cycle and not pass it on to any of you, only to find out in the end, it remains the same.
…keep moving forward. Be you. I’m guessing eventually it will change.
Nothing hurts more than when a grown man cries
“Turn all your anxiety over to God because he cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7 GW
Oh and by the way, you did such a great job and this edit is just awesome!
To anyone who are reading this, you are not alone and I have experienced this kind of situation countless time.. People take what they want and leave in the end, that's the harsh reality
I understand this kind of feeling so I wanted to help and care for those who have experienced this too. Stand strong and if you wanna talk to me please lemme know in the comments 🙏❤
Jabardast lal mere 😁😁😁
Putting down extreme authority and toxic relationships with people who don't like you, yes, but giving a hard time to people who didn't ask for it, no. Emotional situations are often complex, and even if you think that someone is to blame for what ails you, think again. For years I lived with my sister, who blamed me for everything that ailed her. Through a series of family traumas, she formed the idea that I was at fault, that I was the one to blame. Every night for years she would shout at my mother and me, saying how horrible we were, how my mother never loved her and how I loved seeing her (my sister) suffer. She even got to the point where she called me a manipulator who liked to hurt the people around me. I'm a reserved person and I can tell you that I don't give a shit about manipulating people. I tried to talk to her about it quite a few times. It was a wasted effort. She was stuck in her accusatory frame of mind and rejected all my attempts to open my heart to her. It hurt like hell; I was being hated by someone very close to me, to whom I had done nothing. What's more, I was being called all sorts of names (and so was my mother). It was totally unfair. Me and my mother put up with it for years. One day, when she became physically violent and my mother was on the edge of the abyss, we sent her to a psychiatric hospital. It may have been a hasty decision, but we were lost. I should point out that my sister agreed to go to a psychiatric hospital, because she herself couldn't take it any more. The result: psychotic disorders and bipolarity. Now, because of the medication, she doesn't feel anything. She's neither angry nor happy. It's all very strange. She seems to be on the road to recovery from her past traumas.
All this to say that you shouldn't look for someone to blame for what ails you, and if you think there is one, try to understand and don't lock yourself into your traumas and preconceived ideas. Please note: I'm not trying to dissuade you from telling off those who really hurt you. Screw them. Like every human being, you have the absolute right to be respected and happy. Just think of those who are victims of the kind of reaction my sister had. Victims are designated as those who are guilty. But I'm not denying that my sister was a victim too; a victim of herself and her traumas that imprisoned her, when cries are cries for help.
(PS: I'm not trying to say that you're to blame for all your ills. Life is much more complex than that. For those who really hurt you, distance yourself and protect yourself at all costs. Once you've done that, if you want to, try to understand the people who have hurt you. Some people know nothing other than how to shout at others. These people who have hurt you, mistreated you, rotten you, harassed you, etc.... themselves were nothing but tormented souls).
Love on you. May you live your life in happiness.
I'm open for respectful discussions :)
Yea, well my mother basically told me tough shit get over it. So I guess I don't have that sense of longing and sadness, I've just learned to dam it over time and not care. But holy hell does it hurt. The chance it would stop hurting is like a snowballs chance in hell.
It's so painful I can hardly feel the pain
“They’ll only understand after there’s a bullet in your cranium”
😭
Aaron Paul is such a wonderful actor. He understands the characters he plays so good
beautiful boy, dead poets society, Leonardo DiCaprio, movies, marriage story are my favs
I was told so many times that I was a peice of shit and that I didn't matter.. My mother also told me that she didn't care about my depression.. Like Klaus said to his mom "You're the author of everything I am" and for what I am.. I am someone whose mean and don't give a shit. Well life and my own mother is who I blame.
I was berated many times as a kid too, I get it bro.
The world never notice your happyness. Never notice your succes. But the world always notice and laugh on your failure
Thanks buddha
Im numb, i cant even cry anymore
By now, has the sun shown its light? Have you healed?
👆
Reach for the rain, the light. For tomorrow, you may/shall glow bright.
I really have no one, back in 2021 I had entered highschool I was in and out of the mental ward; for self harm and self sleep. The bills from the ward pilled up, my mom slowly started hating me. My stepdad he always hated me, I think it was because of me being as worthless as I am. But, highschool was a new start, something I could finally get right, I never did. I started skipping and hanging out with gangs. I did find a place though where I felt like people cared, It was a smoke shop; a getto one. I started working there; cleaner boy was the job, I saw a lot of stuff that if I say here I'm sure I would not be alive tomorrow; but my boss was so nice to me. At this point in time my mom stopped buying me stuff money was tight, she had to; I think she just never really had time to think about what I needed. My boss got me shoes, food, drinks(not water), etc. The shop closed down, anyways the gangs I would hangout with.. They were bad people, I hung out with a lot of the Mexicans. One day a big bro said something to mine, I stopped the one who said it and he got his ass kicked by mine. Long story short no one wants to be around me because of the target I used to have on my own back, I blame myself for the whole thing. If I never had stopped him from getting on that bus, maybe the kid who died would be eating with his mom, dad, brothers, and sisters. I think of it everyday. After that I stopped going to school, I was scared; days went by then weeks and then almost a year before I went back. No one remembers me now, I'm like a ghost. During that time I found love, she made me go back to school, made me leave selling and all that other stuff behind; she fixed me in a way. I still hated myself and wanted nothing more than to sit on the tracks, but I kept going for her. She lost feelings, She acted like she still had them but I could tell I broke up with her; she told after that she did lose feelings but not why she lost them. It makes me mad that I still love her, but she never even tired to work things out, it was just," Opps lost feelings time to be dry and act like I still do! ". Back to my point I have lost everything because of my pride and lost everyone because of how ugly ,fat, and worthless I am. I'm going to jobcorp next year, in a different state my mom wants to send me away I can't and won't blame them. Maybe this time it will be different, but I'm sure the loop will go on.
Before I go, I don't plan on living much longer. After jobcrop I'm joining the army, gonna try and do 4 years; which I think is 4 deployments. After that I'll give myself 1 year, If I can't find meaning or someone to tie me down on earth. 25 Will be my end, just 10 years until I can stop with loop. I post this here just to talk to someone, or feel like it. Not for pity.
Goodbye everyone, I hope you all have found peace in life and let your sins wash away instead of letting them eat away like I do. I wish they make a redo button before I go, heh that would be nice? I guess... Have a goodnight, afternoon, or goodday.
Stay safe.
I am so very sorry you are feeling this way.
I can't imagine how you must feel -- you have gone through so much alone; it sounds like you are tired of it all and feel hopeless without a future. 😞
Please do not give up on life. Please do not believe Satan's lie that you are worthless, for you are worth a mighty price, and loved by God Himself. Jesus loves you, He died for you on the cross so you might have hope in Him, a future in Him, and abide in Him. He loves you and knows your sorrow and pain. He knows your hurt, and though many have abandoned, He is there, waiting.
Please do not give up.
I don't know you, but I care for you as well, and pray you will regain strength. May God give you strength to live, and purpose through the pain. Satan wants you tempted unto death, and whispers to you that you are abandoned and a burden, but you are not. Jesus loves you so much He died for you; He loves you. Even today He is willing to hear you. Pray to God in Jesus' name, and He will hear your sorrow -- He alone understands. ❤ I am sorry. ❤ I will be praying for you. ❤
I was doing so well till he broke me over and over again and now I’m back here classic lol
I found love once I never realized it I just threw it away
now when I realized it was too late. I am unable to let it go.
''You only have yourself to trust in this world. If even that'' I
Bro the Jesse scenes 😭
I always feel dead inside there's no hope for me
ok r/im13andthisisdeep
If there's life, there's hope.
Loved it
I’ve been crying ALL DAY and no one has noticed NOW THAT is adulting
“No one cares” can be a very liberating quote.
Don't know why i came here like you are already sad and you come here to be more sad strange but true
She just keeps doing it over and over again and for some reason, I literally feel like I can’t leave
I'm watching all these sad stuff to feel something- anything but I feel nothing and no one gives a shit. I'm just tired of feeling like this.
I lost it when neil died
01:25am - 06.03.2021
I cry and hurt when it is the opposite. I wish I had someone to talk to. I don’t.
I feel so ugly and alone. I am going through a terrible heartbreak. Yes, he ghosted me! Everything seemed to be going so beautifully in our relationship. There was never a harsh word between us, yet, he took the cowards way out and discarded me like a dirty old rag!
I feel so let down and terribly hurt.
I'm an older woman and he's an older man. You'd think a man of mature age, would have more common sense, and a softer heart.
I guess he has a new supply by now. It's been a year since he ghosted me.
I'm sorry for everyone out there going through their own heartbreak hell!
Prayers for all, and hugs too.❤❤❤😢😢😢
The saddest part of all, is that I'm still in love with him!
Your always there for people when they hate themselves and everyone and everything but when your feeling shit you then realize its no one but you
beautiful, all those feelings inside of me bottled up.
i watched this whole thing and felt nothing... i dont even know who i am anymore and all the pain ive caused on others i have no clue how to come to terms with.. im so disconnected and unpredictable..
I am sorry -- feeling numb sometimes is beyond pain and hurt. It can be worse than feeling great sadness, leaving you confused and absent.
God loves you in your confusion and searching. All the mistakes you don't even know how to process, the hurt from others; He knows. He is here. Even when you do not have the words to express it.
Jesus died for you on the cross He loved you so much -- He died for you, and rose again 3 days later. Pray to Him, for even now He listens, and knows your pain...❤
When all else fails, He will not. ❤
I’m in so much pain it hurts I can’t beat it
amazing edit!!
Loneliness - it's more painful than peaceful