When I was a kid, my mom used to rearrange furniture or decorations about every 6 months. She said it was like having a breath of fresh air going through the room.
Great topic! I am so ready to hear this. Gayle: "The stuff around you is going to shift and change as you shift and change." So true! Ed: "I think you get some clarity by removing the things that are not who you are." Again, so true! Thanks guys.
Thank you for this perfectly timed segment. I had a large collection of beautiful shoes but recent issues with my 52yo feet have made me realize i am no longer comfortable in pointy or high heels. They are currently in a box to go to consignment. My closet will only have shoes I can actually wear. Enjoy your time in Tennessee and thank you both for all you do!
This presentation, in particular, resonates w me - thank you for giving a different perspective on clutter and helping me decide to let go of police & court documents related to a burglary committed by my neighbor who I thought was a friend. These items truly don’t serve me today.
That can only serve you now. What’s done is done, lessons were learned, the case is settled and it’s ancient history now. No need to hold onto old reminders of injuries past. A bold step forward, Bill!
So true about how life changes our possessions too. I got rid of my china bit by bit. First, I went from 12 place settings to 8. About six months later, I decided I could go down to 4 .. and got rid of a few serving pieces. Six months later, you guessed it - the rest went. I decided when I downsize I’ll buy new china for my everyday dishes and probably only 4 settings since I live alone and don’t foresee big parties. And as Ed said, if so, paper will be great.
Thanks you two! Have a wonderful vacation🧡 I visited a friend in ME and she said you don’t have to worry about dinner all week…it’s by far my best vacation yet😀
Thank you Gayle and Ed! Glad you're enjoying the visit, despite the "weather event". Letting go of things one can no longer use is a perennial on the list of important topics. Thanks for addressing it again.
"Why do you want to hold onto something that reminds you about how bad that felt back then? It's not where you are now." It's sad its it's more important to her to be reminded of the pain than to release it and move on. Thank you for articulating the painfully honest truth ❤❤❤
Maybe it's not reminding her of the pain- but of how strong she had to be to overcome it. Also- maybe everyone was telling her 'It's not that big of a deal, why don't you get over it?" and she knows it was a HUGE DEAL and likes to have the hard paper to remind her of just how big of a deal it really was.
My partner and I don’t own fancy dishes. 😆 We use our regular dishes when guests are over. We don’t like using paper plates since they aren’t reusable. We have a dishwasher so it’s nice to put all our regular dishes in so it’s easier to clean up.
I want to use good china. I don't want it all packed away. I have all the fancy china passed down to me and I don't hoard it just to hoard it. I really want to collect it and use it for different occasions and make new memories with it! By the way.... At about 25 minutes in your video gave me this epiphany and I realized that Gail, you're the best therapist I ever had. This episode deserves a Grammy. Thank you for a wake up call and a push in the right direction for my mental health. You're the best.
I kept large bags of scrubs several yrs after the last shift I worked. The next nurse I passed them to was so excited. It took a very long time to give them up though.
A very helpful segment, indeed. I know not everyone are "planner" people...but, for the people who are considering one...(I used to carry a purse calender which was helpful in recent years)...in later years....I switched to a planner....these types of calender books DO HELP with planning those decluttering projects🙂...budget for the month...things I wanted to remember about my family ...things such as the cemetary my mother is buried in....what our Indian heritage is....my dad's surgeries.....and his diagnosises .....as well as my own....ect. I found these tips, helpful....if your a lady ....measure your planner and, realize that THIS IS the size of purse you probably need(I actually put the dimensions in the back of my planner)...also, is the planner you're considering....is it ready to use....or, do you need to set the months, days, and year...before it's even ready to use...try to do this little project of "setting up" ahead of time. Also, does this planner start when you need it to?....there are some that start in the late summer...early fall....others start in January. I've never regretted buying this type of organizer....if it's information I need to remember...I LOVE taking the time to record this little tidbit....I can list it.....and, forget it. One other note....before letting the old planner go...I glance at each page to make sure I'm either aware of the information listed...and, will record it again(if needed), in the new book....if it's sensitive information....I RIP it out(such as passwords)....and take the th time to shred it. 🙂
My clothes. The biggest battle. For others, it’s the easiest and they don’t get it. It was the one thing that made me happy as a child, even when they were only from the Salvation Army bins in the 70s, being of a dysfunctional/abusive father with paranoia and always picked on at school. Dress up time in kindergarten was my happiness. 😞 College was even difficult with hand me downs. I only had one pair of jeans. I still didn’t fit in.with peers. Eventually, with a career and a night life management job, in a city, and my lit-up sports car with neon, I was finally free, to search for more “happiness”. Malls!! TJMax! A new dress each week for the club. But you hit a nail on the head, when mentioning identity crisis, and staying connected to what was a stable life in the past. Now I live in a bar crazy village back home, because for the care of my mother. She’s moved away. I had given up the most beautiful pieces, by realizing I could never fit into them again. (Size 5😬) Some were just too revealing that I wondered if they were considered clothing.😅The worst of it is to get over the fact that I have to let go of my former self as much as it hurts. That cathedral length wedding dress with all of the pearls and sequins from Europe, never worn. A dream but a reminder of the lie. Even if it was 35 years ago. But purses don’t have a “size” or style limit. Shoes, well they still mostly fit.🙈 Holding onto things that I may need to “fit in” with others or events. But nothing goes on here but jeans and T’s. I still don’t fit into this crowd. Having to move out of a decent space, surely places a heavy burden upon reality, that aging sucks if you can’t celebrate the here and now,; the “you” that is in the mirror. Still, it’s too hard to let go of who I was. Not knowing who I really am, or what is beyond the happiness of clothing. The amount of space surely is something that is very useful to start downsizing with, once it comes down to the final choices, the “container method”. You’re right about “does this serve me?”. I say no, but it’s me! “Would I buy this now?” No, but “you can’t ever find this again and I still like it, it triggers a very happy period of life.” Even the realization that those 4” extravagant heals are not shoes, unless you wear them isn’t helping. How can I let go of what I used to love, youth, the connection to people that loved me, even if I know that people don’t really care what you’re wearing? 🙁 Wait till I’m in a 10x10 nursing home box? 🙈 Still wanting to bang my head against the wall because I am one who lives on organization, but just can’t let go. So, I turn toward focussing on old paper memories.😉
... maybe you can make a bedspread out of your favourite dresses... Or find a beautiful mannequin and dress it up and take photos of it, to share your artistic outfits with the world!! I bet that would be beautiful ❤️... I've kept all the stuff from the happiest years of my life, mostly paper and a few books. I was 19 and 20 years old, and newly sober. I was writing poetry and making artwork. I want to publish them. I think sharing your happinesses with the world is the way to go!!! 🥰🦒🌱📖💗🏡💕💃
@Joanna Snow Thank you! 🧡💛☀️☺️ I can really relate to Robin about having a happy time in the past, with physical objects from that time (in Robin's place it's clothes; in my place it's poetry and artwork)... I'm hoping we are able to listen to Gayle (and Ed) and find room for what we love, within reason, and make new happy memories in the space 🌌 we make!!!
@@solarhydrowind love Gayle and Ed! My problem is mostly with clothes, like Robin. But, I’m sentimental about them whether it was happy times or bad times🤣
@Joanna Snow Yes. Some memories are sad ones. Eckhart Tolle said something about how our heart 💗 loves it when our ego feels broken 💔, I think he meant that through our pain maybe we get a chance to grow 🪴☔☀️🕊️🌺... I have some painful memories from which others might grow, and I might grow by helping others. I want to share them with poetry 🙂🗝️🏡🌱☘️🍀
I like the idea to put things away for a while. I forgot that I did that with a box of decor items: I put them in a closet until I want them in my space again. I could do the same thing with some of the collections of things cluttering up my living space 🌌.
I was listening to the paper to-do list thing. .. I'm a very visual person and if it's out of sight out of mind for me if I make a list chances are I'm going to forget where I put it. I recently started a new system which actually is working quite well for me this week I had made a list on post-it notes like one thing on each post-it note and I didn't make it too wordy it would just be something that I understood what it meant. Important items I wanted to get done. Like one or two word items. It was back to school so most of them pertained to that because they had that hard deadline of needing done before school started. As I completed tasks I would take them off the wall and I stuck them in made kind of like a little pile stuck on the wall of the ones that were completed so it was less visual clutter for me as I did things. Even as I had them on the wall I could see that certain categories could be linked together like stuff I needed to get at a store or things that could be pushed off till after school started. I'm planning on implementing this system and then possibly having to separate to do type areas like maybe one for household tasks and one for family tasks and errands.
"pro tip" I also short up the to-do list with a small piece painters tape because it kept blowing off the wall from the vent. 😉 Incase anyone tried it and has the same issue.
sometimes it is the stuff that has been put aside, is what i need to use now, and to get rid of the current, "ordinary" stuff. my treasures are not someone else's. eg, use the favourite perfume, before it goes off!
Regarding fancy dishes I quit using them because instead of visiting with guests I was stuck in the kitchen hand washing all the fine china. Now I just use paper plates!
@@tamimartin9149 Just couldn't resist. Glad you liked it! I'm in my 9th decade, and you know what they say, "Humor is the last thing to go". It's about ALL I have left! HA! That and my Chew-WOW-WOW (aka Chihuahua)!
My mother in law left all all of her things at our house and went to Atlanta to start over at the age of 84. She died shortly after getting there and when they went through what she had taken with her they found her divorce papers and wedding ring and some clothes. Out of all the things she could have selected to take with her like pictures or mementos she took things that depressed her and made her miserable. This was the saddest part of her passing.
Wow! What a reminder that we choose to keep affects us! I choose joy! Thank you for sharing what was so hard to live through. I pray you and your spouse are the better for it.
I preferred your old show in person, pre-COVID, because you spoke longer than ten minutes on a topic, and left questions or comments to after you had done the presentation. I get a headache with having you interrupted during your talk with the chat comments being read and advice from listeners. You surely don't have ADHD, as you seem unphased at the constant interruptions when you are speaking. I am on the call to hear your advice, first. Any chance of going back to the old format? The ten minutes you were able to speak today was appreciated. Thank you.
@@SouthernBelleReviews Thank you. I loved the old format. I don't understand why they changed it. I don't even listen in person anymore, because it is too frustrating for me.
@@SouthernBelleReviews I am glad someone else feels the same way I do. I don't mind the length of the video, but the constant interruptions when I am engrossed in what Gayle is saying mentally confuses me. Then we never know what she was in the middle of saying. I have timed how long she actually speaks, and it is only around ten minutes. The first 15 minutes is all about comments and what Ed says. Then she speaks, and then the rest of the time is comments. I don't mind questions after she speaks. Those are helpful, the way the format used to be. Apparently you and I are the only ones who feel this way or the only ones brave enough to express how we feel.
Clutter is a manifestation of our resistance to change. So true.
Thank you for filming even on your vacation. I look forward to every video you both make.
You’re welcome! Frankly, we couldn’t resist the chance to broadcast from the same place for the first time in 18 months. It was fun!
When I was a kid, my mom used to rearrange furniture or decorations about every 6 months. She said it was like having a breath of fresh air going through the room.
Great topic! I am so ready to hear this. Gayle: "The stuff around you is going to shift and change as you shift and change." So true! Ed: "I think you get some clarity by removing the things that are not who you are." Again, so true! Thanks guys.
Thank you for this perfectly timed segment. I had a large collection of beautiful shoes but recent issues with my 52yo feet have made me realize i am no longer comfortable in pointy or high heels. They are currently in a box to go to consignment. My closet will only have shoes I can actually wear. Enjoy your time in Tennessee and thank you both for all you do!
22:45 clutter is a manifestation of our resistance to change
Truer words have not been spoken
Brilliant
You are truly so wise, so kind-hearted and sensitive. Thanks for always inspiring and making sense!
This presentation, in particular, resonates w me - thank you for giving a different perspective on clutter and helping me decide to let go of police & court documents related to a burglary committed by my neighbor who I thought was a friend. These items truly don’t serve me today.
That can only serve you now. What’s done is done, lessons were learned, the case is settled and it’s ancient history now. No need to hold onto old reminders of injuries past. A bold step forward, Bill!
So true about how life changes our possessions too. I got rid of my china bit by bit. First, I went from 12 place settings to 8. About six months later, I decided I could go down to 4 .. and got rid of a few serving pieces. Six months later, you guessed it - the rest went. I decided when I downsize I’ll buy new china for my everyday dishes and probably only 4 settings since I live alone and don’t foresee big parties. And as Ed said, if so, paper will be great.
Thanks you two! Have a wonderful vacation🧡 I visited a friend in ME and she said you don’t have to worry about dinner all week…it’s by far my best vacation yet😀
Thank you Gayle and Ed! Glad you're enjoying the visit, despite the "weather event". Letting go of things one can no longer use is a perennial on the list of important topics. Thanks for addressing it again.
Yay!! The clutter faries r back! Oh, I do love the sound of u guys!
"Why do you want to hold onto something that reminds you about how bad that felt back then? It's not where you are now." It's sad its it's more important to her to be reminded of the pain than to release it and move on. Thank you for articulating the painfully honest truth ❤❤❤
Maybe it's not reminding her of the pain- but of how strong she had to be to overcome it. Also- maybe everyone was telling her 'It's not that big of a deal, why don't you get over it?" and she knows it was a HUGE DEAL and likes to have the hard paper to remind her of just how big of a deal it really was.
My partner and I don’t own fancy dishes. 😆 We use our regular dishes when guests are over. We don’t like using paper plates since they aren’t reusable. We have a dishwasher so it’s nice to put all our regular dishes in so it’s easier to clean up.
You're glowing thanks guys
I want to use good china. I don't want it all packed away. I have all the fancy china passed down to me and I don't hoard it just to hoard it. I really want to collect it and use it for different occasions and make new memories with it!
By the way.... At about 25 minutes in your video gave me this epiphany and I realized that Gail, you're the best therapist I ever had. This episode deserves a Grammy. Thank you for a wake up call and a push in the right direction for my mental health. You're the best.
I kept large bags of scrubs several yrs after the last shift I worked. The next nurse I passed them to was so excited. It took a very long time to give them up though.
A very helpful segment, indeed.
I know not everyone are "planner" people...but, for the people who are considering one...(I used to carry a purse calender which was helpful in recent years)...in later years....I switched to a planner....these types of calender books DO HELP with planning those decluttering projects🙂...budget for the month...things I wanted to remember about my family ...things such as the cemetary my mother is buried in....what our Indian heritage is....my dad's surgeries.....and his diagnosises .....as well as my own....ect.
I found these tips, helpful....if your a lady ....measure your planner and, realize that THIS IS the size of purse you probably need(I actually
put the dimensions in the back of my planner)...also, is the planner you're considering....is it ready to use....or, do you need to set the months, days, and year...before it's even ready to use...try to do this little project of "setting up" ahead of time.
Also, does this planner start when you need it to?....there are some that start in the late summer...early fall....others start in January.
I've never regretted buying this type of organizer....if it's information I need to remember...I LOVE taking the time to record this little tidbit....I can list it.....and, forget it.
One other note....before letting the old planner go...I glance at each page to make sure I'm either aware of the information listed...and, will record it again(if needed), in the new book....if it's sensitive information....I RIP it out(such as passwords)....and take the th time to shred it.
🙂
My clothes. The biggest battle. For others, it’s the easiest and they don’t get it.
It was the one thing that made me happy as a child, even when they were only from the Salvation Army bins in the 70s, being of a dysfunctional/abusive father with paranoia and always picked on at school. Dress up time in kindergarten was my happiness. 😞 College was even difficult with hand me downs. I only had one pair of jeans. I still didn’t fit in.with peers.
Eventually, with a career and a night life management job, in a city, and my lit-up sports car with neon, I was finally free, to search for more “happiness”. Malls!! TJMax! A new dress each week for the club. But you hit a nail on the head, when mentioning identity crisis, and staying connected to what was a stable life in the past. Now I live in a bar crazy village back home, because for the care of my mother. She’s moved away.
I had given up the most beautiful pieces, by realizing I could never fit into them again. (Size 5😬) Some were just too revealing that I wondered if they were considered clothing.😅The worst of it is to get over the fact that I have to let go of my former self as much as it hurts. That cathedral length wedding dress with all of the pearls and sequins from Europe, never worn. A dream but a reminder of the lie. Even if it was 35 years ago. But purses don’t have a “size” or style limit. Shoes, well they still mostly fit.🙈 Holding onto things that I may need to “fit in” with others or events. But nothing goes on here but jeans and T’s. I still don’t fit into this crowd.
Having to move out of a decent space, surely places a heavy burden upon reality, that aging sucks if you can’t celebrate the here and now,; the “you” that is in the mirror. Still, it’s too hard to let go of who I was. Not knowing who I really am, or what is beyond the happiness of clothing. The amount of space surely is something that is very useful to start downsizing with, once it comes down to the final choices, the “container method”. You’re right about “does this serve me?”. I say no, but it’s me! “Would I buy this now?” No, but “you can’t ever find this again and I still like it, it triggers a very happy period of life.” Even the realization that those 4” extravagant heals are not shoes, unless you wear them isn’t helping.
How can I let go of what I used to love, youth, the connection to people that loved me, even if I know that people don’t really care what you’re wearing? 🙁 Wait till I’m in a 10x10 nursing home box? 🙈 Still wanting to bang my head against the wall because I am one who lives on organization, but just can’t let go. So, I turn toward focussing on old paper memories.😉
... maybe you can make a bedspread out of your favourite dresses... Or find a beautiful mannequin and dress it up and take photos of it, to share your artistic outfits with the world!! I bet that would be beautiful ❤️... I've kept all the stuff from the happiest years of my life, mostly paper and a few books. I was 19 and 20 years old, and newly sober. I was writing poetry and making artwork. I want to publish them. I think sharing your happinesses with the world is the way to go!!! 🥰🦒🌱📖💗🏡💕💃
@@solarhydrowind Just happened to read this and I was struck by what a kind person you are!
@Joanna Snow Thank you! 🧡💛☀️☺️ I can really relate to Robin about having a happy time in the past, with physical objects from that time (in Robin's place it's clothes; in my place it's poetry and artwork)... I'm hoping we are able to listen to Gayle (and Ed) and find room for what we love, within reason, and make new happy memories in the space 🌌 we make!!!
@@solarhydrowind love Gayle and Ed! My problem is mostly with clothes, like Robin. But, I’m sentimental about them whether it was happy times or bad times🤣
@Joanna Snow Yes. Some memories are sad ones. Eckhart Tolle said something about how our heart 💗 loves it when our ego feels broken 💔, I think he meant that through our pain maybe we get a chance to grow 🪴☔☀️🕊️🌺... I have some painful memories from which others might grow, and I might grow by helping others. I want to share them with poetry 🙂🗝️🏡🌱☘️🍀
I like the idea to put things away for a while. I forgot that I did that with a box of decor items: I put them in a closet until I want them in my space again. I could do the same thing with some of the collections of things cluttering up my living space 🌌.
I was listening to the paper to-do list thing. .. I'm a very visual person and if it's out of sight out of mind for me if I make a list chances are I'm going to forget where I put it. I recently started a new system which actually is working quite well for me this week I had made a list on post-it notes like one thing on each post-it note and I didn't make it too wordy it would just be something that I understood what it meant. Important items I wanted to get done. Like one or two word items. It was back to school so most of them pertained to that because they had that hard deadline of needing done before school started. As I completed tasks I would take them off the wall and I stuck them in made kind of like a little pile stuck on the wall of the ones that were completed so it was less visual clutter for me as I did things. Even as I had them on the wall I could see that certain categories could be linked together like stuff I needed to get at a store or things that could be pushed off till after school started. I'm planning on implementing this system and then possibly having to separate to do type areas like maybe one for household tasks and one for family tasks and errands.
"pro tip" I also short up the to-do list with a small piece painters tape because it kept blowing off the wall from the vent. 😉 Incase anyone tried it and has the same issue.
my clutter hot spot is my brain - best comment ever! I wish it was just to do lists for me! Journals are great though
sometimes it is the stuff that has been put aside, is what i need to use now, and to get rid of the current, "ordinary" stuff. my treasures are not someone else's. eg, use the favourite perfume, before it goes off!
Yes! I saved the stack of O magazines to use to make a vision board for myself, not to give away to someone else to make collages!!
Can you explain to me what the word tiddle means? When you talk about weekly tiddle I always get confused. I assume it means a to do list?
You’re the second person to ask this week about the word! Here’s the explanation:
clutterfairyhouston.com/tittle/
Thank you so much for all you do!
Lol it's very titillating when tiddle time comes around!! 😄 💃
Regarding fancy dishes I quit using them because instead of visiting with guests I was stuck in the kitchen hand washing all the fine china. Now I just use paper plates!
He didn't try to "Corelle" it! (Giggle!)
Lol!
@@tamimartin9149
Just couldn't resist. Glad you liked it!
I'm in my 9th decade, and you know what they say, "Humor is the last thing to go". It's about ALL I have left! HA! That and my Chew-WOW-WOW (aka Chihuahua)!
My mother in law left all all of her things at our house and went to Atlanta to start over at the age of 84. She died shortly after getting there and when they went through what she had taken with her they found her divorce papers and wedding ring and some clothes. Out of all the things she could have selected to take with her like pictures or mementos she took things that depressed her and made her miserable. This was the saddest part of her passing.
Wow! What a reminder that we choose to keep affects us!
I choose joy! Thank you for sharing what was so hard to live through. I pray you and your spouse are the better for it.
Rocketbook
Ed, I let books go that were too tiny to read too!
I preferred your old show in person, pre-COVID, because you spoke longer than ten minutes on a topic, and left questions or comments to after you had done the presentation.
I get a headache with having you interrupted during your talk with the chat comments being read and advice from listeners. You surely don't have ADHD, as you seem unphased at the constant interruptions when you are speaking. I am on the call to hear your advice, first. Any chance of going back to the old format?
The ten minutes you were able to speak today was appreciated. Thank you.
I understand your frustrations. I have the same ones.
@@SouthernBelleReviews Thank you. I loved the old format. I don't understand why they changed it. I don't even listen in person anymore, because it is too frustrating for me.
@@lindawade9647 I agree
And I need shorter videos. I don't have time for these. I haven't been watching them for this reason
@@SouthernBelleReviews I am glad someone else feels the same way I do. I don't mind the length of the video, but the constant interruptions when I am engrossed in what Gayle is saying mentally confuses me. Then we never know what she was in the middle of saying. I have timed how long she actually speaks, and it is only around ten minutes. The first 15 minutes is all about comments and what Ed says. Then she speaks, and then the rest of the time is comments. I don't mind questions after she speaks. Those are helpful, the way the format used to be. Apparently you and I are the only ones who feel this way or the only ones brave enough to express how we feel.
Your client may want the reminder to never let it happen again
That's why I sometimes keep things with bad memories attached. I feel empowered by their presence because they remind me to stand my ground.