I grew up in this environment. I was expected to be a high achiever by caregivers who couldn't love. I'm 34 now. I don't care about high achievements anymore, but I'm still somewhat out of touch with myself. After 5 courses of therapy and a lot of work, I think my narcissistic tendencies have subsided. I do battle with 'letting go' and letting be. The fear of failure still lurks but it is nowhere near as powerful and all consuming as it once was.
With ya brother. It creeps up on me from time to time especially when met with failure or possible failure... I start to project and hide from the reality that its okay to fail. Our parents as well as society has built one heck of a hurdle for most of us to overcome between T.V., movies and social media. But we are here... and that's a HUGE indicator and shift in consciousness that we can be mildly proud of. We don't want to be sick because we seek healthy relationships and the ability to love in a way that may have eluded us in the past.
Coukd be you got out of that environment. You coukd be dealing with narcissistic fleas as they all it. Aka habits from being around it. It can be cured since it's habit based and not me tally disordered thee fore permanently sealed away
@@learningenglishthroughtran8540 This is wonderful. Thank you. I fully agree. I'm on the journey to just being. It seems so scary, I might even have to go to a meditation retreat to help but slowly does it.
I wish my longtime covert narc ex-friend would see someone like this. A therapist told her decades ago that she suspected she's a narcissist, and it breaks my heart to think of the life she could have had if she'd been willing to do the work back then. I tried filling the leaky bucket of her fragile self-esteem for years, but I'm not on this planet to help people who refuse to help themselves. When the entitlement and selfishness became intolerable I knew it was past time to go.
Highly experienced therapist. Beautifully articulated. I am normal and nothing to do with NPD/BPD.. but can feel what she's speaking based on observing a girl struggling with BPD+comorbid vulnerable NPD.
Yes, exactly and I am one of them. It's hard because we're like Kernberg's impossible patient. And we have that deep rooted feeling that we are devious or evil because we chose to turn away from our caregivers and from life and even interpreted life as an enemy and wanting to win over it... And yet, I am a nice person....
My own experience of Narcissists is that they generally seek treatment for those individuals (their nearest and dearest) that they are abusing -- largely because they're not tolerating the abuse very well.
@@Sixpoint7five I watch her she helped alot bringing me into the mind of a narcissist. Many other popular ones helped in their own way but little shaman really did it for me idk why. She a sorta telling me what I learned from other channels, but it's like she's giving MORE details.
I really love this channel and guests. They come more compassionate but somehow more objective. Demonizing ppl does feel good and we've all done it to varying degrees but truly wanting to heal another and being able to hold space and perspective in a safe way is whats gonna make a difference.
I'm very happy to stumble across the vid because I've been reading about analysts and therapists using aggressive attitudes/tactics with narc/borderline clients, so that the client is able to see a projection/mirror of their anger within the therapist so they can tap into it, blah blah. I understand that, but I simply do not actually believe that those techniques work with the best interest for anyone. What the adult narc needed in the first place was respect, compassion and safety. So, kudos to this lovely lady for using what feels like common sense and fighting the fire with with water.
@@ThreetwoOne-wu7ye Since I made this comment, I've been watching more lectures and interviews from Kernberg, Yeomans and Nancy McWilliams. McWilliam's 'Psychoanalysis Diagnosis' book is actually really good. It makes more sense to me now that, specifically with path narcissism, that the less stable the grandiose self, the more that empathy expressed by the therapist is going to register as "pathetic" and fan the flames of internalized shame and therefore, hijack the process. Observationally, I think Dr. Diamond has a really effective and genuine air of compassion to her that I saw really benefit a borderline patient she was interviewing. Firm in her stance, but also quite humanistic. Though, that same demeanor/approach for a more severely borderline organized NPD could tank. Retrospectively, my comment was likely fueled by how I personally could never engage with another as a therapist/analyst must do during TFP/treatment with a severe PD. I give these pros a lot of credit for doing some difficult work!
@mollyringwerm9224 I totally agree with your second comment. Like you, I was turned off by any therapy method that didn't include empathy, because those are the only ones I've been exposed to, and empathy as part of the process made sense to my situation. And then I watched Dr. Yeomans talk about neutral approach as a way to treat NPD. And I thought about my own narcissistic mother, and how she would get therapists to buy her story of victimhood, and stall therapy for YEARS. Long and short, it's possible for a therapist to inwardly feel empathy for a patient, but outwardly not agree with everything they're projecting.
so i basically convinced my mom to go to therapy because of the way she treats people and she went for a few sessions i think as a means of indulging me but stopped and returned to her previous behavior. i get the feeling that she went to the session entirely guarded like you described and got nothing out of it
Its simply a tragedy to the human race and to the planet.....it is time for all sleepers to WAKE UP to Our Truth....to our True Essence. Its such a sorrow for all hearts. Its time to massively HEAL our EXISTENCE.
That doesn’t really fit the description of a narcissistic person. Her only issues were not being able to keep up with her parents’ and her own high expectations for her success and being highly overwhelmed and self critical, if anything that sounds like the opposite. A narcissistic person might be failing their classes but would create a delusion for themselves in which this has nothing to do with their own actions and blame someone else for their failures, or deny that they failed at all. Narcissists inflate themselves to compensate for their inner faults and insecurities they don’t seek treatment or admit they failed their classes. Unless we’re talking about two different definitions of narcissism or missing some case facts this diagnosis seems misplaced.
There are different kinds of narcissism. I actually can relate to this story, because I had a similar experience. Having very high expectations from early childhood I met with the harsh reality of life and was feeling like a total failure at one point of my life. It took me a lot of work to get out of that place.
She had narc tendencies and not the disorder itself. Plus, only with this therapist she could've let her her guard (ego protection) down, which has shown that she is not a full blown narcissist as the others percieved her to be. She probably picked that attitude up from her lousy parents and was affraid of their retribution.
We don’t know enough about her story to say. However, the broader point is that there’s so much rubbish written about NPD, especially so online. The categorical approach to personality disorder (ie having a PD or not, and various different categories of PD existing) is hugely problematic and poorly validated. Where such grey areas exist in science opinion comes in. A diagnosis of PD should be restricted to the extreme ends of presentations and not bandied around just because someone is angry with their ex. The dimensional approach to PD is much more validated. There is just one PD (people with a lifelong pattern of struggling with a wide range of areas relating to self-concept, managing emotions, behaviours and interpersonal relationships etc), not lots of different types. There are, however, various presentations of the underlying problem of PD depending how highly one scores on the five abnormal personality dimensions, which vary slightly between the US DSM-5 AMPD model and the European ICD-11 approach but are essentially the same. True NPD is rare (0.5% prevalence) and the DSM-5 committee strongly considered abandoning it. The ICD-11 committee got it right and ditched it altogether, and subsumed NPD under certain traits within the dissociality (ie antisocial PD) dimension. NPD should be reserved for type 1 grandiose narcissism. Everything else is just people using the narcissistic defence to varying degrees to compensate for low self esteem, which may be situational to time, place and interpersonal dynamics (eg it might come out in one relationship but not another). There’s such a wide spread of and cross-correlation between the manifestations of the human mind and behaviour. So by taking a categorial cookie cutter approach to this subject matter and landing it on narcissism it’s going to cut out a piece of the intersecting Venn diagram of dough with traits as wide ranging as low self esteem, codependency, substance use, a proneness to fantasy etc being present such that it renders the process close to meaningless. Look up the ‘symptoms’ of love addiction, codependency and anxious-preoccupied attachment style online for example. Most symptoms will overlap, some will differ, but all are essentially manifestations of the same underlying phenomenon, ie an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. However, given the variance in human formative experiences and later adult behaviours, when a categorical approach is applied to this peoples’ presentations will ‘look’ different: some presenting with codependency, others with love addiction, others with compensatory perfectionism, others with angry rumination etc. Same underlying issue, different presentations. Then you get researchers and clinicians living like ants on a large piece of slightly curved paper, thinking that from their narrow lens view their world is flat, whereas it’s actually not. Such professionals who use the categorical approach to PD and rely on overly complex irrefutable psychodynamic theories of NPD are such ants, and their views are distorted by their personal biases prior to doing the research/assessing the client and confirmation bias afterwards, thus perpetuating their belief that NPD exists in a wide range of people who don’t actually have it.
We are at this stage with mother... She is a malignant one, in her fantasy my life has failed from the beginning and her goal in life is to be powerful while I depend on her😂😂.. I am now doing what I saw her doing for money growing up (dermatologist)... 1 year a woman will not talk to me or look at me..my success is impossible to her..this anger was too much for me,,it is slowly reducing or I Am managing it
And child abuse is most of the times generational. Wounded, traumatised and broken people trying to parent and causing wounds, trauma and brokenness in their own children. And it is important to be objective and understand that because that puts you on the road to healing as opposed to being 'stuck' in toxic resentment and blame.
@@NickyM_0 not exactly parent are broken.. i am from India, & in india the examination pattern is highly respected and shows a sign of intelligence superiority. Right from military services to administration to top cream institutions. Not much regard to talent, entrepreneur.. so some parent out of cultural pressure put up undue pressure on their kids... Leading their brain to become like this.. the physical abuse components are rare but psychological abuse is almost in every house... The competition to be on top cream so as to brag to their neighbours and family.. one of the crisis of CAPITALISM economy where human are just factory machine without any soul..
@@NickyM_0 I can agree. And based on what you wrote I would say the ",break the cycle " motto is not a good slogan to follow. Some peole should not have children. I see more mothers than fathers use their children.
@GMarieBehindTheMask I just watched the video and I'm so glad you wrote this comment because I thought about the abuse issue as well! In fact, I'm getting annoyed with the constant labelling of people who've experienced childhood trauma, including what are called narcissists nowadays. I mentioned that I don't like labels on a video by an extremely popular narcissism "expert," then she proceeded to do an angry, as well as sarcastic, video about people who don't like labels! She might've noticed comments by others and might not have even seen mine, yet it wasn't long after I posted it. I believe that it's mainly the outcome of children doing whatever they can to survive an extremely toxic environment and some go one way, then others go too far along the opposite end of the spectrum, which isn't healthy either. 😢
What about lack of empathy? Entitlement? Real, actual grandiosity, not just self-blaming and/or self-hating? Need for constant admiration? Focus on success and power and NOTHING else? Lack of self-awareness? Manipulation? Gaslighting? Fragile ego? Sudden, abrupt rage? Anxious attachment? Was any of that considered? Or was perfeccionism and lying and failling at something the ONLY metric for her diagnosis? Lying is not necessarily narcissism, but, narcissists do lie, so there's that. And so does everybody else, sometimes. And oh, she isn't "hardy" enough to withstand the challenges of life and can't seem to "thrive"? Maybe because of abuse, trauma, or chronic anxiety? Did this psychiatrist take a look at that? Probably not. Labelling is easier. I do admit it is. Why do so many psychiatrists do that? Maybe a person can be a perfeccionist and not succed at work or school at first without having NPD? Maybe CBT or some other therapy style could also be helpful with that instead of a potential mislabel, huh? "Includes a clinical example of a young adult woman diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder who breaks down in college when she doesn't live up to her own perfectionism and the grandiose expectations of her parents." HER PARENTS, not her, were the problem, OBVIOUSLY. Maybe they're the people who should be, theoretically, diagnosed? Oh, but they probably don't have a problem with themselves. Scapegoating the girl is just easier. She is the sick one, am I right? As a person who has suffered and suffers from some of the problems as the girl mentioned, I just feel angry and sad for her. Such a huge misdiagnosis. Her perfecctionism may be a symptom of anxiety (and also, a big, BIG cause for it, too), of always needing to live up to the expectations of her parents, who, by the way, absolutely lacked empathy towards her. She must have been absolutely overwhelmed by all her parent's expectations, and, at the same time, didn't want to disappoint them. Yeah, people are complicated, folks! Not feeling like you're enough and wanting to please the unpleasable is NOT narcissism. Quite the opposite, in fact. It may be a sign YOU went or are going through some narcissistic abuse yourself. But she was able to get some help and live a life with some semblance of normalcy and health, even if at the cost of being forever, wrongly, being labelled as a narcissistic person. But still, this is just ridiculous. I don't mean to downplay this psychiatrist's point of view on that, obviously I am not even a psychiatrist, and she did help her in the end (a little bit unempathically, to be fair) but I just can't agree with the labelling. That's just not very nice and borders on enabling abuse by putting the blame on her, since she is the one with the "disorder", right? At the very least, I hope the girl is doing well. I do agree with the rest of her points, though.
I agree. Narcissists are raised by at least one parent who is one. Messing up a 1st year of college.... that's about 50% of kids today and they're not all narcs. I think this is a very limited understanding of what a narcissist truly is. It's very by-the-book of what she may identify but seems to be missing a lot of the other aspects of the true definition of narcissism. The manipulation involved, the win at all cost attitude, the triumph in breaking down people around to feel better about themselves, the mirroring, the self adoration (which is false)...., the gaslighting, the rage, none of this is mentioned. Most importantly, washing her hands of the true issues by claiming she leads a normal life.... this I don't believe for a minute if this lady was truly a narcissist. Very easy to claim success with this particular diagnosis when it's mislabeling it in the first place. I've never met a narcissist who got cured of this pathology. The toxic behavior remains and gets worse as they age, the smart ones become CEO and proliferate the abuse with more social power. They find it harder to gather the flying monkeys and to keep people near with time as healthy people will give up on trying to remain in a relationship with them. This seems too easy to be correct.
This young woman having a diagnosis for NPD is not equivalent to her being blamed for her issues. You're probably projecting due to your own experiences that have gotten you hurt.
I agree with you, the doctor seems to have ran with the diagnosis rather than re assess. Maybe it’s easier to work with what was presented and fill in the gaps.
"Are not hardy enough" - that feels like she's invalidating the concept of splitting and is hardly helpful. The person she is talking about seems more like an avoidant BPD that was raised by narcissistic parents, who have absorbed their worldviews because she was deeply enmeshed. Many narcissists I've seen don't even have any concept of self-flagellation due to perfectionism, just a delusion and entitlement.
Only a professional can give you a diagnosis, it's not something we can do just because we read some book off Amazon, we watched everything on YT or because we have acquaitances we deem narcissistic. And BPD is not "better" or more acceptable than NPD, like narcissism in pink or something like that. Yes they're often comorbid and share core features, all PDs do, at least according to Kernberg's model
Thank you for your feedback. We have our reasons for doing shorter bits, but our content is never locked into one thing and we will likely be doing more varied length pieces as we evolve this channel.
dont live up to them and your a narc- live up to them and your a narc. have abusive parents and try to get away from them youre a narc. have abusive parents and stay with them youre a narc. have loving parents and you arent perfect? youre a narc... narc narc narc. everyone is a narc to this woman.
Pathological narcissism is progressive, meaning it gets more intense with age. If this woman had reached 40 and not had any sort of “reality check” moment, her issues would be much more severe. A pathological narcissist at age 22 looks a whole lot different than one at 40, who looks a whole lot different than one at 70.
It’s sad. I find that my parents give me more love when I have achieved something that can make them proud. I feel like a failure in their eyes if I’m just an average achiever. Lucky more me, I worked on myself for years with a spiritual guru and was able to discard the innate biological need for parental approval. Some parents are not meant to be parents.
Wouldn`t ANYONE who fails in finding a perspective after a fairly good childhood/school career seek treatment? Perfectionism also occurs in neurodiverse people and other problems, it isn`t necessarily NPD. Also it is normal that people seek treatment in midlife, there is a reason it`s called "midlife crisis". So I think any disorder or just bad luck can be behind such a crisis or depression ...
I took it as the interviewer asked a great question and Dr. Diamond was like, “interesting enough, this persons had already been evaluated…” and it was like she was saying, “It’s good that you asked that question because…”
It is annoying when someone interrupts your flow... especially as a female in a male dominated profession. She will have been talked over and dismissed a lot in her profession. Do people speak over respected men? Do people interrupt Otto Kernburg when he's talking?
Another tendency of the narcissist is yo evaluate a person's professionalism and attack the "big dog," rather than sticking with the content of what's being said.
'A lot of kids who seem to be failing to thrive, I think have pathological narcissism and simply aren't hardy enough to withstand challenges...'- there's another one of her assumptions I don't like (like marriage and bearing children being an applicable indicator of relationship satisfaction), so what can I do with this 'information'? I'm not hardy or tough enough to withstand challenges, oh well, may as well just avoid working on my problems then because I'm not made of the right stuff, may as well just let other people look after me? What if everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, that's a more accurate and less misleading way to explain it, and that people with narcissism are particularly weak with interpersonal challenges or relating to people, rather than everything about growing up in general?
Wow I TOTALLY agree with you...that is well said. I did not at all agree with this statement and it made me wonder about this therapist. She seems to understand the theory very well but she somehow sees the victims of narcissism for themselves. She is very wrong in her analogy imo. It could be she is talking about covert narcissism but she should have elaborated about that.
What she means is that they haven't developed the skills to handle those challenges, which may lead them to avoid anything that may result in failure. It doesn't mean give up. It means learn the skills in order to better face those challenges. Improve yourself.
Can you please do a video introducing the BorderlinerNotes channel to the public on RUclips which includes information about how patients get referred to your channel and what this channel is hoping in general to help achieve in the mental health field?
Mid-life, yes. 16 years of therapy. Started to only get self-esteem through buying new gadgets. Not getting much satisfaction from life. Continuing s* ideation. Disappointing relationships. I probably have autism traits with vulnerable narcissism. Constantly searching for someone to understand and hear me. Ghost child. I feel dead. Maybe starvation of supply is the cure? To face the death of the child, to grieve.
I think that having only direct parents raising kids is bad for children. Kids need to be able to seek better circumstances for themselves. Right now, kids are legal property, not people. We have an epidemic of child abuse and almost all of it comes from within their own homes. This one narcissist though, it doesn't seem like everything comes from parents. I think kids need more than just their parents in order to be healthy kids.
working on the narcissist and not dealing with the narc parents that made her this way. 🤔. This can't be fixed. There is no real treatment. They do feel emotions, just the Nega ones, mostly.
This sounds like cart-before-horse intervention, or the origins of her "NPD" that are notably absent here, and she does not even sound as though she is talking about NPD. This chat leaves out the nuts and bolts of personality disorders, and it is neglectfully absent here. Go look at the stats for personality disordered responsiveness to treatment. This woman sounds like she is describing a high prevalence of narcissistic traits, versus full blown NPD. Two entirely different animals. True personality disorders are obviously relatively fixed, one reason why cluster B diagnoses are avoided in early life. In other words, treatment resistance in PDs is notoriously strong in this group. This is obviously well known in the treatment world, and the description of this scenario sounds rather far off base, not only diagnostically, but prognostically and in every other way. Based on this video, you might think that "person A has NPD. Person A goes to therapy. Person A gets better." All those elements, in a true NPD diagnosis, are largely incompatible with one another. And reality.
Diana is a very optimistic psychiatrist. Which is good. It can only help her patients recover by giving them hope. She’s tactful and exudes hope. And that’s what all humans need is hope. No need to shatter these peoples hopes with the cold hard facts. They are frail enough as it is. But I somehow get the impression she only presents her success stories. We never hear about the disasters which is what the majority of hardcore narcissists are.
I am deaf and an absolute idiot. So if you answered this question I I sorry for asking but can you develop this disorder as an adult or Early adulthood. Cause I have noticed myself picking up narcissistic traits and I hate it. My biggest fear is losing empathy and hurting others in any way. And for over a month my panic disorder has leached of this. And due to these traits popping up and noticing I've lost some empathy. I am really worried I will turn into what I fear. What can I do and can I prevent this?
You're far from being an idiot. You sound to me like a highly sensitive, self aware individual who doesn't want to hurt people unwittingly. I've known many a narcissist in the past and believe me, that's not you at all. Just stay healthy, look after yourself and others best as you can - you'll be all good. Blessup
The fact that you have self-awareness shows that you care enough to course correct. I commend you for this; keep up your introspective nature. Not one of us is perfect, as we all have room for improvement and being able to recognize that is paramount. Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best! You are not alone in this.
This sounds really off to me though...why would someone who is a high achiever and fails suddenly be labeled a narcissist? This girl sounds like she was under a lot of pressure by her parents. And when your parents are narcissistic of course you become a perfectionist. They force it through your throat. I do not at all agree with this view. I think its very normal when you have got a non loving childhood or love- only-when-you-accomplish-what the parents want- that you want to achieve the highest possibe, that is how you were trained. The parents are narcissistic and the girl had a horrible childhood. Íf she was talking about covert narcissism she should have been more clear about it. I not at all feel that because someone does not thrive during a certain time it makes you him/her a narcissist. If anything it makes this therapist narcissistic for making such an ignorant statement.
I am starting to get the feeling that psychologists don't really know exactly what pathological narcissism is (the definition seems to be awfully fluid), and that NPD/BPD are labels that effectively pathologise the victims of trauma. And that's before the popular notion of narcissism is considered which looks rather like a modern-day version of the witch-hunt...
Thats why even at age 38 theyre still going to school or trying to please their narcissistic mother or father just like a child ( See mum I graduated and got my degree certificate see mum seeee!! Thats what it screams. Trying to seek approval from their parents to see their achievements and success and to tell the narcissistic child " welldone" but they never get that and feel like losers . This was my ex. He finished university and graduated and is still again going back and forth trying to achieve more so his mother can be proud of him. Chasing false happiness thats what it comes down to.
Wrong they are almost worst cause they are very covert and are a extremely good actresses and when they are out to destroy they are ruthless ive unfortunately been in that situation.
good day ma'am, (BorderlinerNotes),..could you perhaps screen out unnecessary comments that are popping in your channel? Many of these commentators are reacting off the grid. A lot of them would retort how she (the expert clinician) is this and that whilst their comments are filled with shits of their own words coming from their mouths. I think, to those commentators here, their reactions and written words against this particular clinician-who is insufficient, or lack-of-this-what-not or "she doesn't know a thing or two about NPD"-are no less different from an unruly wounded individual having wounded attitudes & feelings... I think a carefully written reaction or comment is enough to create an atmosphere of a healthy argument (or curiosity) rather than comments fueled by opinionated feedbacks and whiplash rooted in misinformation, malinformation & disinformed narrow critical-thinking skills. Hope to see reactions or written comments worth noting of...
This doesn't really sound like narcissism. Lack of empathy and a deep sense of emptiness is the mainstay of narcissism. The clients she speaks of seem self aware and connected to their feelings, narcissism isn't that way. They don't go to treatment. The people she is talking about care about their functioning and effects on others and their own pain. This is not narcissism. Yes these people have narcissistic issues, but NPD is a hidden beast that gaslights manipulates and feeds off your pain it gives them supply. And she didn't mention supply.. These clients she's talking about have narcissism issues but NPD doesn't do self introspection like the clients she mentions. She is old school narcissism and outdated.
I'm sorry but this sounds like the child os someone with NPD, not someone who themselves have NPD. I am actually baffled at how ignorant this woman, this video and this approach is. I am going to report this content as I deem it to be misinformed and has the potential to be highly detrimental to victims of NPD abuse.
@@thomask.98 I don't think you're understanding what we're getting at. The individual in the video is misrepresenting it objectively, not subjectively.
i don't like what this lady is saying. doesn't seem right. i don't think a trait of narcissism is having unrealistic expectations and then underachieving. i have not seen that in the narcissists that I know. I mean, it exists but I don't see it as part of the narcissistic personality. also, i can't believe she had the gall to label this girl and tell her she was too disturbed to go back to school, etc. WFT. that's not helpful at all. therapist here seems pretty out of whack. poor girl. i hope she gets some decent help or DOES go back to school and takes classes that she can cope with. man, don't ever tell someone to stop and just hang out in therapy. that is very very bad and destructive advice. shame on you.
Diamond is not the one who said the patient shouldn't go to school; actually she said the opposite. She is the reason why the patient went back to school and succeeded. Thanks for the comment in any case. Wishing you the best. -p
Couldn't agree more. It seems a bit insidious to me. She's literally normalizing it with normal feelings and emotions and only using it in a school environment. This video may in fact do more harm.
Video concerns me because this doesn't help you understand the narcissist. This is a video trying to create empathy for these types of depraved predators. It is more important to talk about the 80% that was ignored. How about the subtypes? How about the fact narcissism and psychopathy are pretty hard to distinguish in some cases? How about the fact they are predators and abusers. Do your own research everyone.
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I grew up in this environment. I was expected to be a high achiever by caregivers who couldn't love. I'm 34 now. I don't care about high achievements anymore, but I'm still somewhat out of touch with myself. After 5 courses of therapy and a lot of work, I think my narcissistic tendencies have subsided. I do battle with 'letting go' and letting be. The fear of failure still lurks but it is nowhere near as powerful and all consuming as it once was.
With ya brother. It creeps up on me from time to time especially when met with failure or possible failure... I start to project and hide from the reality that its okay to fail. Our parents as well as society has built one heck of a hurdle for most of us to overcome between T.V., movies and social media.
But we are here... and that's a HUGE indicator and shift in consciousness that we can be mildly proud of. We don't want to be sick because we seek healthy relationships and the ability to love in a way that may have eluded us in the past.
Same.
Coukd be you got out of that environment. You coukd be dealing with narcissistic fleas as they all it. Aka habits from being around it. It can be cured since it's habit based and not me tally disordered thee fore permanently sealed away
@@learningenglishthroughtran8540 This is wonderful. Thank you. I fully agree. I'm on the journey to just being. It seems so scary, I might even have to go to a meditation retreat to help but slowly does it.
@@nadasabbagh8753 good on you for caring for yourself, it takes huge courage to ‘just be’ in a society that shames that as laziness and failure.
I wish my longtime covert narc ex-friend would see someone like this. A therapist told her decades ago that she suspected she's a narcissist, and it breaks my heart to think of the life she could have had if she'd been willing to do the work back then. I tried filling the leaky bucket of her fragile self-esteem for years, but I'm not on this planet to help people who refuse to help themselves. When the entitlement and selfishness became intolerable I knew it was past time to go.
Highly experienced therapist. Beautifully articulated. I am normal and nothing to do with NPD/BPD.. but can feel what she's speaking based on observing a girl struggling with BPD+comorbid vulnerable NPD.
Yes, exactly and I am one of them. It's hard because we're like Kernberg's impossible patient. And we have that deep rooted feeling that we are devious or evil because we chose to turn away from our caregivers and from life and even interpreted life as an enemy and wanting to win over it... And yet, I am a nice person....
My own experience of Narcissists is that they generally seek treatment for those individuals (their nearest and dearest) that they are abusing -- largely because they're not tolerating the abuse very well.
this channel has the finger on the pulse
My first vid on this channel. I've had that sentiment of another channel and I urge you to take a look if you haven't. Search Little Shaman,
@@Sixpoint7five I watch her she helped alot bringing me into the mind of a narcissist. Many other popular ones helped in their own way but little shaman really did it for me idk why. She a sorta telling me what I learned from other channels, but it's like she's giving MORE details.
so grateful
I really love this channel and guests. They come more compassionate but somehow more objective. Demonizing ppl does feel good and we've all done it to varying degrees but truly wanting to heal another and being able to hold space and perspective in a safe way is whats gonna make a difference.
Imagine all those who can't afford therapy and get overlooked!
@Sara Fox why do say she’s not good?
I was just thinking this….most of the ppl that need it cannot afford it…out of reach
Plenty of them around us…😅
You called? To be far youtube has given me half the picture of why everything was so illogical and fucked up which is better than nothing.
I'm very happy to stumble across the vid because I've been reading about analysts and therapists using aggressive attitudes/tactics with narc/borderline clients, so that the client is able to see a projection/mirror of their anger within the therapist so they can tap into it, blah blah. I understand that, but I simply do not actually believe that those techniques work with the best interest for anyone. What the adult narc needed in the first place was respect, compassion and safety. So, kudos to this lovely lady for using what feels like common sense and fighting the fire with with water.
@@ThreetwoOne-wu7ye Since I made this comment, I've been watching more lectures and interviews from Kernberg, Yeomans and Nancy McWilliams. McWilliam's 'Psychoanalysis Diagnosis' book is actually really good. It makes more sense to me now that, specifically with path narcissism, that the less stable the grandiose self, the more that empathy expressed by the therapist is going to register as "pathetic" and fan the flames of internalized shame and therefore, hijack the process. Observationally, I think Dr. Diamond has a really effective and genuine air of compassion to her that I saw really benefit a borderline patient she was interviewing. Firm in her stance, but also quite humanistic. Though, that same demeanor/approach for a more severely borderline organized NPD could tank. Retrospectively, my comment was likely fueled by how I personally could never engage with another as a therapist/analyst must do during TFP/treatment with a severe PD. I give these pros a lot of credit for doing some difficult work!
@mollyringwerm9224 I totally agree with your second comment. Like you, I was turned off by any therapy method that didn't include empathy, because those are the only ones I've been exposed to, and empathy as part of the process made sense to my situation.
And then I watched Dr. Yeomans talk about neutral approach as a way to treat NPD. And I thought about my own narcissistic mother, and how she would get therapists to buy her story of victimhood, and stall therapy for YEARS.
Long and short, it's possible for a therapist to inwardly feel empathy for a patient, but outwardly not agree with everything they're projecting.
so i basically convinced my mom to go to therapy because of the way she treats people and she went for a few sessions i think as a means of indulging me but stopped and returned to her previous behavior. i get the feeling that she went to the session entirely guarded like you described and got nothing out of it
Well maybe she wasn`t convinced but just talked into it by you, so she did it to show good will and that`s not a good start.
Its simply a tragedy to the human race and to the planet.....it is time for all sleepers to WAKE UP to Our Truth....to our True Essence. Its such a sorrow for all hearts. Its time to massively HEAL our EXISTENCE.
I feel the same about this planet we are on. It doesn’t feel right here at all.
@@CALIPrincess808this whirled has been hijacked and inverted.
Too bad that it's not longer. It's good to listen to somone who actually successfully treat narcissism.
That doesn’t really fit the description of a narcissistic person. Her only issues were not being able to keep up with her parents’ and her own high expectations for her success and being highly overwhelmed and self critical, if anything that sounds like the opposite. A narcissistic person might be failing their classes but would create a delusion for themselves in which this has nothing to do with their own actions and blame someone else for their failures, or deny that they failed at all. Narcissists inflate themselves to compensate for their inner faults and insecurities they don’t seek treatment or admit they failed their classes. Unless we’re talking about two different definitions of narcissism or missing some case facts this diagnosis seems misplaced.
She didn’t go into that girl’s pathology. She could have portrayed many narcissist personality traits.
There are different kinds of narcissism. I actually can relate to this story, because I had a similar experience. Having very high expectations from early childhood I met with the harsh reality of life and was feeling like a total failure at one point of my life. It took me a lot of work to get out of that place.
But that's not narcissistic...or rather it's the parents being narcissistic and the children feeling abused
She had narc tendencies and not the disorder itself. Plus, only with this therapist she could've let her her guard (ego protection) down, which has shown that she is not a full blown narcissist as the others percieved her to be. She probably picked that attitude up from her lousy parents and was affraid of their retribution.
We don’t know enough about her story to say. However, the broader point is that there’s so much rubbish written about NPD, especially so online. The categorical approach to personality disorder (ie having a PD or not, and various different categories of PD existing) is hugely problematic and poorly validated. Where such grey areas exist in science opinion comes in. A diagnosis of PD should be restricted to the extreme ends of presentations and not bandied around just because someone is angry with their ex. The dimensional approach to PD is much more validated. There is just one PD (people with a lifelong pattern of struggling with a wide range of areas relating to self-concept, managing emotions, behaviours and interpersonal relationships etc), not lots of different types. There are, however, various presentations of the underlying problem of PD depending how highly one scores on the five abnormal personality dimensions, which vary slightly between the US DSM-5 AMPD model and the European ICD-11 approach but are essentially the same. True NPD is rare (0.5% prevalence) and the DSM-5 committee strongly considered abandoning it. The ICD-11 committee got it right and ditched it altogether, and subsumed NPD under certain traits within the dissociality (ie antisocial PD) dimension. NPD should be reserved for type 1 grandiose narcissism. Everything else is just people using the narcissistic defence to varying degrees to compensate for low self esteem, which may be situational to time, place and interpersonal dynamics (eg it might come out in one relationship but not another). There’s such a wide spread of and cross-correlation between the manifestations of the human mind and behaviour. So by taking a categorial cookie cutter approach to this subject matter and landing it on narcissism it’s going to cut out a piece of the intersecting Venn diagram of dough with traits as wide ranging as low self esteem, codependency, substance use, a proneness to fantasy etc being present such that it renders the process close to meaningless. Look up the ‘symptoms’ of love addiction, codependency and anxious-preoccupied attachment style online for example. Most symptoms will overlap, some will differ, but all are essentially manifestations of the same underlying phenomenon, ie an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. However, given the variance in human formative experiences and later adult behaviours, when a categorical approach is applied to this peoples’ presentations will ‘look’ different: some presenting with codependency, others with love addiction, others with compensatory perfectionism, others with angry rumination etc. Same underlying issue, different presentations. Then you get researchers and clinicians living like ants on a large piece of slightly curved paper, thinking that from their narrow lens view their world is flat, whereas it’s actually not. Such professionals who use the categorical approach to PD and rely on overly complex irrefutable psychodynamic theories of NPD are such ants, and their views are distorted by their personal biases prior to doing the research/assessing the client and confirmation bias afterwards, thus perpetuating their belief that NPD exists in a wide range of people who don’t actually have it.
Damn right, I did what Sam Vaknin could not do 🔥 and that’s that. Best of both worlds, having a self and understanding the game 🍷
We are at this stage with mother... She is a malignant one, in her fantasy my life has failed from the beginning and her goal in life is to be powerful while I depend on her😂😂.. I am now doing what I saw her doing for money growing up (dermatologist)... 1 year a woman will not talk to me or look at me..my success is impossible to her..this anger was too much for me,,it is slowly reducing or I Am managing it
This all stems from child abuse, how about we talk about that?
And child abuse is most of the times generational. Wounded, traumatised and broken people trying to parent and causing wounds, trauma and brokenness in their own children. And it is important to be objective and understand that because that puts you on the road to healing as opposed to being 'stuck' in toxic resentment and blame.
@@NickyM_0 not exactly parent are broken.. i am from India, & in india the examination pattern is highly respected and shows a sign of intelligence superiority. Right from military services to administration to top cream institutions. Not much regard to talent, entrepreneur.. so some parent out of cultural pressure put up undue pressure on their kids... Leading their brain to become like this.. the physical abuse components are rare but psychological abuse is almost in every house... The competition to be on top cream so as to brag to their neighbours and family.. one of the crisis of CAPITALISM economy where human are just factory machine without any soul..
@@NickyM_0 I can agree. And based on what you wrote I would say the ",break the cycle " motto is not a good slogan to follow. Some peole should not have children. I see more mothers than fathers use their children.
Prof Vaknin describes it as PTSD and depression from abuse ( extreme attention or neglect)
@GMarieBehindTheMask I just watched the video and I'm so glad you wrote this comment because I thought about the abuse issue as well!
In fact, I'm getting annoyed with the constant labelling of people who've experienced childhood trauma, including what are called narcissists nowadays.
I mentioned that I don't like labels on a video by an extremely popular narcissism "expert," then she proceeded to do an angry, as well as sarcastic, video about people who don't like labels! She might've noticed comments by others and might not have even seen mine, yet it wasn't long after I posted it.
I believe that it's mainly the outcome of children doing whatever they can to survive an extremely toxic environment and some go one way, then others go too far along the opposite end of the spectrum, which isn't healthy either. 😢
What about lack of empathy? Entitlement? Real, actual grandiosity, not just self-blaming and/or self-hating? Need for constant admiration? Focus on success and power and NOTHING else? Lack of self-awareness? Manipulation? Gaslighting? Fragile ego? Sudden, abrupt rage? Anxious attachment? Was any of that considered? Or was perfeccionism and lying and failling at something the ONLY metric for her diagnosis? Lying is not necessarily narcissism, but, narcissists do lie, so there's that. And so does everybody else, sometimes.
And oh, she isn't "hardy" enough to withstand the challenges of life and can't seem to "thrive"? Maybe because of abuse, trauma, or chronic anxiety? Did this psychiatrist take a look at that? Probably not. Labelling is easier. I do admit it is. Why do so many psychiatrists do that?
Maybe a person can be a perfeccionist and not succed at work or school at first without having NPD? Maybe CBT or some other therapy style could also be helpful with that instead of a potential mislabel, huh?
"Includes a clinical example of a young adult woman diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder who breaks down in college when she doesn't live up to her own perfectionism and the grandiose expectations of her parents."
HER PARENTS, not her, were the problem, OBVIOUSLY. Maybe they're the people who should be, theoretically, diagnosed? Oh, but they probably don't have a problem with themselves. Scapegoating the girl is just easier. She is the sick one, am I right?
As a person who has suffered and suffers from some of the problems as the girl mentioned, I just feel angry and sad for her. Such a huge misdiagnosis. Her perfecctionism may be a symptom of anxiety (and also, a big, BIG cause for it, too), of always needing to live up to the expectations of her parents, who, by the way, absolutely lacked empathy towards her. She must have been absolutely overwhelmed by all her parent's expectations, and, at the same time, didn't want to disappoint them. Yeah, people are complicated, folks!
Not feeling like you're enough and wanting to please the unpleasable is NOT narcissism. Quite the opposite, in fact. It may be a sign YOU went or are going through some narcissistic abuse yourself.
But she was able to get some help and live a life with some semblance of normalcy and health, even if at the cost of being forever, wrongly, being labelled as a narcissistic person.
But still, this is just ridiculous.
I don't mean to downplay this psychiatrist's point of view on that, obviously I am not even a psychiatrist, and she did help her in the end (a little bit unempathically, to be fair) but I just can't agree with the labelling. That's just not very nice and borders on enabling abuse by putting the blame on her, since she is the one with the "disorder", right?
At the very least, I hope the girl is doing well.
I do agree with the rest of her points, though.
😭😭😭😭😭😭💢💢
🎯
I agree. Narcissists are raised by at least one parent who is one. Messing up a 1st year of college.... that's about 50% of kids today and they're not all narcs. I think this is a very limited understanding of what a narcissist truly is. It's very by-the-book of what she may identify but seems to be missing a lot of the other aspects of the true definition of narcissism. The manipulation involved, the win at all cost attitude, the triumph in breaking down people around to feel better about themselves, the mirroring, the self adoration (which is false)...., the gaslighting, the rage, none of this is mentioned. Most importantly, washing her hands of the true issues by claiming she leads a normal life.... this I don't believe for a minute if this lady was truly a narcissist. Very easy to claim success with this particular diagnosis when it's mislabeling it in the first place. I've never met a narcissist who got cured of this pathology. The toxic behavior remains and gets worse as they age, the smart ones become CEO and proliferate the abuse with more social power. They find it harder to gather the flying monkeys and to keep people near with time as healthy people will give up on trying to remain in a relationship with them. This seems too easy to be correct.
This young woman having a diagnosis for NPD is not equivalent to her being blamed for her issues. You're probably projecting due to your own experiences that have gotten you hurt.
I agree with you, the doctor seems to have ran with the diagnosis rather than re assess. Maybe it’s easier to work with what was presented and fill in the gaps.
"Are not hardy enough" - that feels like she's invalidating the concept of splitting and is hardly helpful. The person she is talking about seems more like an avoidant BPD that was raised by narcissistic parents, who have absorbed their worldviews because she was deeply enmeshed. Many narcissists I've seen don't even have any concept of self-flagellation due to perfectionism, just a delusion and entitlement.
Others gave her the diagnosis, she basically proved them wrong.
I have NPD, the self-punishment is real. We cause more damage to ourselves than you'd probably imagine.
Only a professional can give you a diagnosis, it's not something we can do just because we read some book off Amazon, we watched everything on YT or because we have acquaitances we deem narcissistic. And BPD is not "better" or more acceptable than NPD, like narcissism in pink or something like that. Yes they're often comorbid and share core features, all PDs do, at least according to Kernberg's model
It would be nice if these videos were longer and less rushed.
Thank you for your feedback. We have our reasons for doing shorter bits, but our content is never locked into one thing and we will likely be doing more varied length pieces as we evolve this channel.
@@BorderlinerNotesi would like to see more of these too
Two words: parental expectations.?
dont live up to them and your a narc- live up to them and your a narc. have abusive parents and try to get away from them youre a narc. have abusive parents and stay with them youre a narc. have loving parents and you arent perfect? youre a narc... narc narc narc. everyone is a narc to this woman.
I agree with the comments, this is a misdiagnosed. I don't mean to devalue this professional psychologist.
No this IS NPD. 1:50
How the hell do you know a girl described in a 6 minute video and her psychological constitution?
Pathological narcissism is progressive, meaning it gets more intense with age. If this woman had reached 40 and not had any sort of “reality check” moment, her issues would be much more severe. A pathological narcissist at age 22 looks a whole lot different than one at 40, who looks a whole lot different than one at 70.
Pride is the Devils main trait… I’ll leave you with that tiny golden nugget of knowledge.
Not all that glitters is gold.
It’s sad. I find that my parents give me more love when I have achieved something that can make them proud. I feel like a failure in their eyes if I’m just an average achiever. Lucky more me, I worked on myself for years with a spiritual guru and was able to discard the innate biological need for parental approval. Some parents are not meant to be parents.
Some parents are not meant to be parents fkn irresponsible. Anyways how do you discard a need youre born with? That seems hard to do
@@yorti006 you outgrow the pathological level of it, you become a real adult
she was lucky she got help early.
Wouldn`t ANYONE who fails in finding a perspective after a fairly good childhood/school career seek treatment? Perfectionism also occurs in neurodiverse people and other problems, it isn`t necessarily NPD.
Also it is normal that people seek treatment in midlife, there is a reason it`s called "midlife crisis". So I think any disorder or just bad luck can be behind such a crisis or depression ...
2:41 - is it just me or does Dr. Diamond react to being cut short or interrupted when the host is trying to guide the discussion?
Yep! She was clearly annoyed....not very professional
I took it as the interviewer asked a great question and Dr. Diamond was like, “interesting enough, this persons had already been evaluated…” and it was like she was saying, “It’s good that you asked that question because…”
You shouldn't think you know what another is thinking. That's quite narcissistic. There can be 150 reasons why she turned her head. 🤦🏼♀️
It is annoying when someone interrupts your flow... especially as a female in a male dominated profession. She will have been talked over and dismissed a lot in her profession. Do people speak over respected men? Do people interrupt Otto Kernburg when he's talking?
Another tendency of the narcissist is yo evaluate a person's professionalism and attack the "big dog," rather than sticking with the content of what's being said.
'A lot of kids who seem to be failing to thrive, I think have pathological narcissism and simply aren't hardy enough to withstand challenges...'- there's another one of her assumptions I don't like (like marriage and bearing children being an applicable indicator of relationship satisfaction), so what can I do with this 'information'? I'm not hardy or tough enough to withstand challenges, oh well, may as well just avoid working on my problems then because I'm not made of the right stuff, may as well just let other people look after me? What if everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, that's a more accurate and less misleading way to explain it, and that people with narcissism are particularly weak with interpersonal challenges or relating to people, rather than everything about growing up in general?
Wow I TOTALLY agree with you...that is well said. I did not at all agree with this statement and it made me wonder about this therapist. She seems to understand the theory very well but she somehow sees the victims of narcissism for themselves. She is very wrong in her analogy imo.
It could be she is talking about covert narcissism but she should have elaborated about that.
She wasn't calling you out, just talking about her clinical experience. If you feel called out though…
@@alarageref2481 narcissism is overdiagnosed
What she means is that they haven't developed the skills to handle those challenges, which may lead them to avoid anything that may result in failure. It doesn't mean give up. It means learn the skills in order to better face those challenges. Improve yourself.
Can you please do a video introducing the BorderlinerNotes channel to the public on RUclips which includes information about how patients get referred to your channel and what this channel is hoping in general to help achieve in the mental health field?
Mid-life, yes. 16 years of therapy. Started to only get self-esteem through buying new gadgets. Not getting much satisfaction from life. Continuing s* ideation. Disappointing relationships. I probably have autism traits with vulnerable narcissism. Constantly searching for someone to understand and hear me. Ghost child. I feel dead. Maybe starvation of supply is the cure? To face the death of the child, to grieve.
This is sad 😞 I wish this on no one
I think that having only direct parents raising kids is bad for children. Kids need to be able to seek better circumstances for themselves. Right now, kids are legal property, not people. We have an epidemic of child abuse and almost all of it comes from within their own homes. This one narcissist though, it doesn't seem like everything comes from parents. I think kids need more than just their parents in order to be healthy kids.
working on the narcissist and not dealing with the narc parents that made her this way. 🤔. This can't be fixed. There is no real treatment. They do feel emotions, just the Nega ones, mostly.
this sounds like me ... this is exactly me.
This sounds like cart-before-horse intervention, or the origins of her "NPD" that are notably absent here, and she does not even sound as though she is talking about NPD. This chat leaves out the nuts and bolts of personality disorders, and it is neglectfully absent here. Go look at the stats for personality disordered responsiveness to treatment. This woman sounds like she is describing a high prevalence of narcissistic traits, versus full blown NPD. Two entirely different animals. True personality disorders are obviously relatively fixed, one reason why cluster B diagnoses are avoided in early life. In other words, treatment resistance in PDs is notoriously strong in this group. This is obviously well known in the treatment world, and the description of this scenario sounds rather far off base, not only diagnostically, but prognostically and in every other way. Based on this video, you might think that "person A has NPD. Person A goes to therapy. Person A gets better." All those elements, in a true NPD diagnosis, are largely incompatible with one another. And reality.
Diana is a very optimistic psychiatrist. Which is good. It can only help her patients recover by giving them hope. She’s tactful and exudes hope. And that’s what all humans need is hope. No need to shatter these peoples hopes with the cold hard facts. They are frail enough as it is. But I somehow get the impression she only presents her success stories. We never hear about the disasters which is what the majority of hardcore narcissists are.
I am deaf and an absolute idiot. So if you answered this question I I sorry for asking but can you develop this disorder as an adult or Early adulthood. Cause I have noticed myself picking up narcissistic traits and I hate it. My biggest fear is losing empathy and hurting others in any way. And for over a month my panic disorder has leached of this. And due to these traits popping up and noticing I've lost some empathy. I am really worried I will turn into what I fear. What can I do and can I prevent this?
You're far from being an idiot. You sound to me like a highly sensitive, self aware individual who doesn't want to hurt people unwittingly. I've known many a narcissist in the past and believe me, that's not you at all. Just stay healthy, look after yourself and others best as you can - you'll be all good.
Blessup
@@heyoungworld dude you made me cry. Thanks
@@snas1686 you're welcome, I wasn't going to pass by your comment without letting you know it was understood and respected. Stay strong brother
@@heyoungworld thanks a lot bud. You too ✊
The fact that you have self-awareness shows that you care enough to course correct. I commend you for this; keep up your introspective nature. Not one of us is perfect, as we all have room for improvement and being able to recognize that is paramount. Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best! You are not alone in this.
good video ✅
First i like then i watch
Like I said, it is at the beginning, fair question - but no, not said before incontext of interview
This describes me
The perfection norm is unsustainable.
This sounds really off to me though...why would someone who is a high achiever and fails suddenly be labeled a narcissist? This girl sounds like she was under a lot of pressure by her parents. And when your parents are narcissistic of course you become a perfectionist. They force it through your throat.
I do not at all agree with this view. I think its very normal when you have got a non loving childhood or love- only-when-you-accomplish-what the parents want- that you want to achieve the highest possibe, that is how you were trained.
The parents are narcissistic and the girl had a horrible childhood. Íf she was talking about covert narcissism she should have been more clear about it. I not at all feel that because someone does not thrive during a certain time it makes you him/her a narcissist. If anything it makes this therapist narcissistic for making such an ignorant statement.
I am starting to get the feeling that psychologists don't really know exactly what pathological narcissism is (the definition seems to be awfully fluid), and that NPD/BPD are labels that effectively pathologise the victims of trauma. And that's before the popular notion of narcissism is considered which looks rather like a modern-day version of the witch-hunt...
This explains Hikikomori very well
Thats why even at age 38 theyre still going to school or trying to please their narcissistic mother or father just like a child ( See mum I graduated and got my degree certificate see mum seeee!! Thats what it screams. Trying to seek approval from their parents to see their achievements and success and to tell the narcissistic child " welldone" but they never get that and feel like losers . This was my ex. He finished university and graduated and is still again going back and forth trying to achieve more so his mother can be proud of him. Chasing false happiness thats what it comes down to.
I see this all the time people in their 60's doing work they believe their parents would approve of (my narcissist mother does this).
Things have to be perfect or it's all worthless
❤️
How can i contact Dr. I need help. Anything email or phone no. Please
I feel like female narcissists are much more open to therapy than males as per…
Magical thinking?
@@aboetarikske lmaooo
True, but female narcissists are also more likely to fly under the radar, which can make them more damaging/destructive.
Wrong they are almost worst cause they are very covert and are a extremely good actresses and when they are out to destroy they are ruthless ive unfortunately been in that situation.
Not true.
🤔 Whenever the Judge makes em? 😳🤷🏻♂️
good day ma'am, (BorderlinerNotes),..could you perhaps screen out unnecessary comments that are popping in your channel? Many of these commentators are reacting off the grid. A lot of them would retort how she (the expert clinician) is this and that whilst their comments are filled with shits of their own words coming from their mouths. I think, to those commentators here, their reactions and written words against this particular clinician-who is insufficient, or lack-of-this-what-not or "she doesn't know a thing or two about NPD"-are no less different from an unruly wounded individual having wounded attitudes & feelings...
I think a carefully written reaction or comment is enough to create an atmosphere of a healthy argument (or curiosity) rather than comments fueled by opinionated feedbacks and whiplash rooted in misinformation, malinformation & disinformed narrow critical-thinking skills.
Hope to see reactions or written comments worth noting of...
This doesn't really sound like narcissism. Lack of empathy and a deep sense of emptiness is the mainstay of narcissism. The clients she speaks of seem self aware and connected to their feelings, narcissism isn't that way. They don't go to treatment.
The people she is talking about care about their functioning and effects on others and their own pain. This is not narcissism. Yes these people have narcissistic issues, but NPD is a hidden beast that gaslights manipulates and feeds off your pain it gives them supply.
And she didn't mention supply..
These clients she's talking about have narcissism issues but NPD doesn't do self introspection like the clients she mentions. She is old school narcissism and outdated.
I'm sorry but this sounds like the child os someone with NPD, not someone who themselves have NPD. I am actually baffled at how ignorant this woman, this video and this approach is. I am going to report this content as I deem it to be misinformed and has the potential to be highly detrimental to victims of NPD abuse.
couldn't agree more
... Are you a psychologist? You have not talked to this person and you weren't her therapist. You can't really assert that she doesn't have NPD
@@thomask.98 I don't think you're understanding what we're getting at. The individual in the video is misrepresenting it objectively, not subjectively.
😂
@@ThreetwoOne-wu7ye Everything flew right over your head lol
On a production note - add a jacket and blouse - or an outfit that fits nicely.
This is not an Instagram model with NPD.
Karen, says it all. Did ya hear anything she said? Seems not.
i don't like what this lady is saying. doesn't seem right. i don't think a trait of narcissism is having unrealistic expectations and then underachieving. i have not seen that in the narcissists that I know. I mean, it exists but I don't see it as part of the narcissistic personality. also, i can't believe she had the gall to label this girl and tell her she was too disturbed to go back to school, etc. WFT. that's not helpful at all. therapist here seems pretty out of whack. poor girl. i hope she gets some decent help or DOES go back to school and takes classes that she can cope with. man, don't ever tell someone to stop and just hang out in therapy. that is very very bad and destructive advice. shame on you.
Diamond is not the one who said the patient shouldn't go to school; actually she said the opposite. She is the reason why the patient went back to school and succeeded. Thanks for the comment in any case. Wishing you the best. -p
Couldn't agree more. It seems a bit insidious to me. She's literally normalizing it with normal feelings and emotions and only using it in a school environment. This video may in fact do more harm.
NPD is a personality disorder.
Video concerns me because this doesn't help you understand the narcissist. This is a video trying to create empathy for these types of depraved predators. It is more important to talk about the 80% that was ignored. How about the subtypes? How about the fact narcissism and psychopathy are pretty hard to distinguish in some cases? How about the fact they are predators and abusers. Do your own research everyone.
You sound uneducated and ignorant.
They are abusive people for sure. Narcissists are crazy. Totally. But if people get help for their insanity. That better.
So,some narcs are doctors...those creeps can be any body,anywhere
Bs!!!!
Why is she wearing a man's shoulder jacket ?🤔
Its not a man's jacket its a power suit jacket. Its a style which is worn by men and women.