Newly Diagnosed ADHD - Learn to NOT Hate Yourself (Busy Bee Pod Episode 14)
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- Here's how I made the life changing transition from getting an ADHD diagnosis that made my life seemingly worse at first, to thriving in all areas of my life.
Rebuilding my relationship with myself post-diagnosis was HARD. But now reflecting, here are the steps I took that brought me where I am today! 
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I'm 33 years old and I found out this week that I have inattentive ADHD. This video was very comforting to me. Seeing someone find peace and coming out the other side is so helpful. Thank you for your honesty.
Ironically, also 33 years old and found out this April. I was baffled yet relieved and have been in the death trap of videos like this 😅
Lol same! Wtf
Also 33, just got diagnosed three weeks ago.
@@chelseahathaway-livoti8865 33 Club!
Diagnosed ADHD at age 57, October 2022. I’ve been having a hard time. I’ve dipped a toe into each of these steps when I started therapy for PTSD in 2018, but that was all framed from the perspective of my PTSD. I had no name for the lifelong struggle that I thought was a laundry list of character flaws. Now I know that I’ve actually been playing the game stuck on a high level of difficulty and wondering why it seems easier for everyone else.
My ADHD does seem worse after my diagnosis. I’m self employed and I’ve been overwhelmed since my diagnosis, which means my business is feeling it and right now I can barely afford my doc and meds (which we’re still working out meds) I need to get back to therapy, but that’s currently out of budget.
I’m going to start a new journal tomorrow and go through the steps you’ve outlined here because after months of going down this ADHD rabbit hole of trying to help myself these are the first concrete steps that make sense.
I was brought here by your short in the bathtub with your dog. You never know how something that seems silly may really help someone. Thank you!
Oh, my! Your story is very similar to mine. I was also diagnosed in October of 2022 (at 47) while in therapy to deal with apparently all of the “little t” traumas that have derailed where I thought I would be. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone in trying to navigate this story. 😊
I know exactly how you feel ❤️ how is this effecting your spiritual practice? Bc It's personally kicking me in the cauldron lol 🙃 idk how to manage it
@dawnforbes4294, so many of us fell through the cracks back in the day, no one knew. It’s good to know we’re not alone!💜
@stormie9077 yes, I do know exactly what you mean. Even before my diagnosis I had high energy days and low energy days so I try to give myself some grace on my spiritual path. My practice has really changed over the years and has inadvertently become the practice I needed it to be for my brain and energy levels. I’ve been working lately on breaking it down so that I can teach other neurodivergent witches how to do it with their practices too. I think being a witch with ADHD comes with its own challenges but its own benefits as well. For instance, our daydreaming can help us shift into connecting with spirit! Still so much to learn, but there always will be!
@@MickieMuellerStudio I love that so much! Thank you. It's a real challenge trying to keep up with my witchy routines/ practices because of it. Been following your channel for a while now and I'll definitely look out for those videos as well 🖤
Thank you, Hayley. I really needed this. I'm very newly diagnosed. And desperately unhappy. What you described was almost exactly what I am going through.
Sending you internet stranger love because I’m there and I get it 💛 knowing we aren’t alone and this isn’t our fault, the world is not built for us, is the first step. Wishing you peace and healing ❤️🩹
Same
I can’t explain how helpful the section about active processing was. It described something in me that has made so much click. For the past few days I’ve been trying to do it and I’ve actually been able to let go of negative feelings and be so much more at peace.
I think it's absolutely crazy that I got tested for quite literally everything at 8 to just get ADHD, only be told I just have trouble focusing and got told all the time growing up I was just lazy. How is it that I'm 24 and just now learning all my "problems" were actually symptoms?
And why didn't my parents learn anything more than just "she can't focus" ☹️ it's like I'm newly diagnosed again
Thank you for everything you've been teaching me I truly and deeply appreciate the content you create ❤️
It's very awkward and unnerving learning to love oneself again, but well worth the journey! I don't consider this a disorder, but a super power! We also bring so much to the table that others don't because of our unique brains🧠
Hearing this almost makes me grateful that I was incapable of hiding all of my life. I just kind of existed in all my impulsive glory and eff the rest. I think it probably helped in extraordinary ways that my mom (likely undiagnosed all her life, and whom I inherited adhd from) made open monologue with herself a normal occurrence. Talking to myself at home, in the car, in the aisles at walk my
Damn, Hayley, This was great. I'm watching this at the end of my workday and just crying. It just hit me in the exact right place. And it just help so much to know that there can be another side to this.
Yooooooooo I’m literally going through this right now xD excited to hear your story. I’m right at the start of figuring it all out the “feeling like sh*t” part LOL.
I was always supposed to be able to “get better” now I find I’ve been a big bully to myself and need to embrace all the struggles I thought “if I just keep doing the work one day this will go away”
I know that it’s gonna be okay, this will get easier. Videos like this help with perspective and tools or avenues to look deeper into.
Thank you for sharing.
I’m gonna pay closer attention now.
Edit. Near the end now. You’ve helped me realize I’m straddling a weird spot. One foot in step one and one foot in step 5. A lot of my previous journey will be useful for my new journey. Thank you again for sharing this.
You lost me at solitude and alone time. As a parent of 3, I have none of that. Zero. None. 😂 it’s really hard finding out too late in life and now there’s not much or no time for self-work.
This channel needs to be seen by more people, you are so so so helpful and real and honest I love it
So glad i discovered your channel. I am ready at 27 years old to start accepting who i am and start making my life easier for myself instead of beating myself up for not being normal.
I was super happy when I got my diagnosis but I'm also 38 and we're starting to believe that I was completely insane and the only person struggling in the way that I struggled really hated myself so when I found out that I wasn't alone and I knew how to get help and where to look it was such a relief I was jumping for joy
Going to add what a lot of people are saying, that I am going through this exact same thing right now. Thank you for sharing. You are making a huge difference! And this seems like a great formula to follow!
Late diagnosed here 🙋🏻♀️. But I actually wasn’t angry but found relief from my diagnosis because it explained so much. I can’t do anything about the past and that there simply wasn’t a diagnosis for girls when I was younger. But I can do something now to manage it.
I've been watching your videos backwards from the most current to this one right now! They're really helping me feel less alone and more human than ever ❤ I would like to hear more about unmasking if this is something you'd still like to talk about it a future video! Thank you for creating and for all your hard work ❤
I don’t want to “unmask” because I already get bullied enough as it is and I don’t need people to know I have ADHD. Most of the girls my age just hate me and I don’t know what I did wrong. And yeah I want comfort but I have a bed to cry and sleep in with the best blanket ever so that works.
😢
You’re so calming to listen to, and as someone recently diagnosed, I really needed this. I hope I can give hope to people like you do on youtube one day.
Omg got diagnosed at 56. A few months ago and have been a wreck ever since😢 thank you for making me feel less crazy❤❤
This is amazing. I was diagnosed four months ago at age 68. Learning to live with it in my face. I think my main issue is executive functioning. But I am looking forward to more episodes with you.
Yes please more on unmasking
Agreeeeee
Jeez...I really needed this today.Self- diagnosed 64 year old Autist and ADHDer. My logical self says: I can't be worse than before because I know more about myself. But sure feels worse on and off now!
Oh okay so just bursting into tears wasn't ready for that Madame Honey :DDDDDD But thank you XD
Amazing as always! Literally anything you post will be relatable and I am truly grateful
Yesssss, please more unmasking videos ❤️ you're awesome 👍🏽
Not diagnosed or anything. Just been struggling my whole life and afraid to even try seeking therapy. I catastrophize a lot and worry I'll get the same treatment I have my whole life. Being ignored, not listened to or understood, told im just making it all up, etc. i appreciate around 10:55 when you point out some of us may be feeling defeated already at just hearing about step 4. I definitely was and was starting to feel panic well up. I was thinking about how im just going to try but end up messing up again and just give up like I always do and it was all hopeless. Hearing that brought me back to the video and calmed me down. It's like you were able to see me through the screen and reassure me. A very surreal experience.
Getting a diagnosis here in Czechia can be quite difficult. I've been told by my psychiatrist that if I manage to have a full time job, I don't really need treatment. Well, there might be some truth in that statement, but it doesn't make me feel any less shitty about myself, tbh. Most people around me also don't really acknowledge ADHD as a real problem, seeing me basically as "seeking out excuses". All things considered, I seem to be stuck at the first step you're describing here (processing those emotions and feeling like shit). It's been going on for at least 5 months now, probably longer.
Not officially diagnosed yet, waiting lists, too expensive to go private etc etc. Anyway definitely at step 1 and hating myself, feel really stuck.
Watching this reminds me what torture ADD is. Nothing can compare to it, it's the absolute worst. For me it's being cursed to do stupid and thoughtless things endlessly through life, and there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing works
Thank you so much. Because of you i started loving myself again. This time, the real me. No more masking.
I needed this so badly - thank you! Dx last year (at 47) and I haven’t allowed myself to “feel the feelings”. Honestly, because I hate to feel the negative feelings. I shut that stuff down real fast. So, I’m just on step 1 and already I have something to take to my therapist. She is always asking what I want, and I’m like “ I don’t know” (she’s new as my old one moved away right after my dx…). Ok, I have to go back to watching or I will get distracted and never finish. And since I can since the value, I want to make sure I finish. Thanks again! (Found you through your short about Doom Scrolling)
Crap. This video made me realize I skipped phases 1, 2 and 3 and I've been focusing on phase 4 wondering why I struggle so much... thanks a lot for this guide, I love my therapist but I wish she told me these things too ^^'
thank you for this video! I would be so happy about an how to unmask video! i have such a hard time to find out how to unmask and yeah... how to find the real me. so please make one. it would be so helpful 🥺💕💕
Love this! Thank you🧡
an episode about unmasking would be so helpful and amazing
I got diagnosed in 8th grade, but that was still MORE than enough time for me to get told I was "too much" by everyone around me and I unfortunately do still get that to some degree today. Specifically with my over-talking and over-sharing. So that stuff is etched in my brain and causes issues for me relatively often, honestly. Makes my social anxiety worse
AuDHD not diagnosed until my 40s & I very much conquer 💜
I turned 41 yesterday. My new motto is "let whoever think whatever." 😊
Thank you ❤
I'm doing well now and I'm actively seeking out help in school so thank you 😊
A tip for your next video's: put the camera on eye level. Now it looks as if you are reaing of a screen...
I'm 24 and just got diagnosed a few weeks ago. I relate to this so much
more about unmasking please!
Why am I still in that I hate the fact I’m diagnosed two years on? I was looking for it for so long it’s arrived and now I resent it
I have adhd, and I found out a few weeks ago. I went on Adderall immediately, and after it stopped trying to explode my head, and overactivate my ibs, things are good. What I struggle with, besides being mad about having missed out on so much quality in life, is the reason it gets missed in women and girls. It's because people were only looking for the symptoms in boys, and it presents differently in women and girls. I'm not trying to start something or engage in misandry, or downplay the effect that adhd has on boys and men, but I hate that once again women and girls just get ignored. I'm so glad this is changing, and granted times are different from when I was born in 1982, and mental health in kids wasn't really looked into. Sorry to rant, I just thought maybe someone else might feel the same way on this issue
First! I love this and you!
i absolutely love your videos! i’ve been watching for a while and it recently inspired me to make my own channel! I just posted my first video yesterday and it already has 70 views! I learned a lot from your videos and other peoples channels like yours! thank you so much for putting a smile on people’s face’s! keep the content up! (could you maybe pin my comment?) thanks!❤❤❤ Also, i’m glad you have improved since then! adhd can be tough to deal with!!!
Hey! Loving all the content. The body doubling sessions have actually changed my life. 37 and dyslexic but highly suspect I have adhd too. Might even be that I was diagnosed incorrectly who knows. But even the dyslexia was diagnosed quite late.
You mentioned coaches / courses in the UK but I can't find any info on the website. Could you please help?
Thank you hayley 🥰🥰
I can't relate i feel isolated . I am a nt think pattern while being self diagnose neurodivergent functional
I would be interested in learning to unmask. I am 58, was diagnosed ADHD about 9 years ago during perimenopause, now post menopausal. I am tired of pretending to be someone else. Need to go back to journaling intentionally and starting on your step 1.
Is there a scientific name for not be able to passive progress, would like to read more material on it.
For me the better version of myself that I'm worn is somebody who would have done better in math in high school and cared more and then been able to go to a 4-year college, complete the college, get into a good successful well-paying job and stay in it. I didn't do any of those things. And now I pay for it jumping around from low paying job to low paying job recently where 2 bosses treated me like crap because they were miserable b*s no matter how hard I worked and how good I was at what I do. And I could forgive myself because I understand myself, but what really hurts me is when family judges me. That's the knife through the heart for me. I wish they understood better.
I just got my diagnosis earlier this year and I'm 32. I'm still in the middle of why did everything get worse, I felt like a fake person that couldn't do anything.
I’ve been diagnosed for 4 years, but only recently have I been really trying to find systems to help. I’m also trying to look into an autism diagnosis but I’m a minor so I’m kinda stuck until I get my driver’s license.
Please make the video about masking soooon!!
Is there anyway someone could make a dealing with the new diagnosis worksheet pleeeease
Erm, I know metaphor, but I literally cannot use heat for any reason and not burn myself. Would you believe that even with the microwave? 😬
The background music is killing any hopes of me actually being able to pay attention tho…..
Good to know!! The episode is available on Spotify with no music!
I didn’t notice background music! All ADHD minds really are different aren’t we?! 😆 clever to offer it on Spotify too with no background music.
@@MickieMuellerStudiowhy cant I hear it even now that I know it's there??
I’m 22 & have been VERY QUIETLY self-diagnosed with ADHD for at least 2-4 years & it’s…only sometimes helpful? Like…I try to accommodate my brain, but forget to & feel so much shame at not being able to be productive like a “normal” person (or a consistently more productive neurodivergent person like my hubby), and it tears me apart…but I’m slooooowly learning to take days off for myself & consider anxiety as its own task (because it’s *exhausting*), etc…and I still forget. Anyways…would a professional diagnosis help..?
Oh! And looking at kitchen/pantry organizational stuff, there’s a blackboard that says:
>GOALS<
Less TO-DOS
MORE TA-DAS.
I love this!! I hope it helps someone. ❤
Also, I’m both incapable of masking & incapable of unmasking…no filter, but also pretending to be a normally functioning human…😅🙈
Also, I want to live in the country where I can have bees, chickens, etc…but also the city so I can WALK to various places I’d go to more often if I didn’t live so far away…how do I be my best self if I can’t even figure out where I should be? 😅🙈 (also, my hubby can’t live too far away from his job & we’re pregnant, so…we do need to move sooner than later, but…eh?)
Also!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING ON THE INTERNET!!! You’re so amazing & sweetly helpful!!!
I remembered what I was thinking earlier (I did mean to thank you for being here, though!!)…😂🙈🤪 How exactly does one go from picking & scratching, forgetting to eat/drink/shower/get sunlight/etc. to loving on their body? I don’t think I could survive living alone just because I forget to the nth degree & don’t really recognize my own hunger cues until I feel like I’m sick & starving (my hubby helps keep me on track for everything, but my dependency on others just to survive, let alone thrive? Not my idea of fun, or adulthood, or anything!!)…also, *I do not drive.* I don’t trust myself to not get distracted & wreck or scare someone else into wrecking, and almost nobody understands how debilitating the responsibility to handle a ton of weight speeding at 20-75+ mph can be…I can’t even put music on the car because that helps me focus on the dishes or something else, but the road? Nuh-uh. Too distracting. Also, my hands (and body in general) hurt whenever I DO drive because terror is chasing me down - if I make a mistake washing the dishes & break my favorite mug, I can probably get it again or get another. If I make a mistake on the road? That could break a body…maybe even permanently. And practice does NOT make perfect, it just reinforces good or bad habits. I can’t gauge my setbacks or improvements either, so…AAAAAAAAAAALL that to say, I have no idea how to make anything work….at 22. And all these various things keep spilling out unbidden & I literally can’t even stop it right now…I didn’t realize I had filters until things just…started falling out of my thumbs or mouth. I need a journal. I have a thousand & still don’t journal, though - I talk & brainstorm & realize things *as I’m saying them*, and I buy a hundred notebooks & journals and they collect dust (for the most part)…bleh…is there a way to make these comments private so I can not lose all these thoughts (which would be torn out, burned, deleted, etc. because what’s the point of keeping them), but also not share them with half the internet (because that’s also freaky)? 😅🙈🙈😵💫
I'm 32 . Age 28 shtf
I have to address something that I noticed in your short video, where you ask yourself if you exercise, and you say to yourself, "Yes, I exercise every day." Later in this short, you say I have ADHD paralysis for days. Seems to me like what you want to hear matters more than the reality you live in, because that is in direct contrast to the, "I exercise every day statement." Please explain.
There are 2 points I would like to point out 1) you are a very pretty girl 2) from what I have seen on your videos you managed to get enough focus to actually be able to learn to play a musical instrument/ you have a natural talent for it. Those 2 things do give you an advantage in being adhd or at least being able to handle it.
onomatopoeia
omg hii! can we talk. im a minute in and i literally have the exact same experience lol. can i email you maybe??
literally i need an adhd coach like u. ^^
yeah literally 100% i think i need to reach out to you. what ur describing is what im on the cusp of with myself and i wanna make it fully real. xo
wait i wanna be a coach actually hehehe