You seem to have a lot of wisdom to be able to make a video like this and I definitely recognise many of the problems you talk about; not so long ago I got so angry and some bloke who nearly ran me over as I crossed the road but felt justified in yelling at me, that I chased him down the street; It's hilarious really, the memory makes me smile. Sometimes I do wonder if the only emotions I have are anger and sadness, it often seems that way. I don't know if it's my Asperger's or just me but, I see so many people who really are nasty pieces of work and I just think to myself, "f*ck'em", it's almost like a mantra, and I can have a sort of out of body experience as I step back and really look at these idiots and all that energy they put into being a really big bumhole, as if that's supposed to cow and intimidate you, and it just amuses me and makes me stronger, but it's never easy. I don't have any friends and I am estranged from all of my family, except my Dad, (not my fault I hasten to add, I was just collateral damage so what can you do?) but I can't really have these sorts of conversations with him, I just have to talk things through with myself. Well, I guess the occasional youtube comment helps a bit too, not so long ago I literally couldn't have forced myself to type something like this out, watching videos like yours does help with the struggle. Thanks for all your effort.
I'm glad that this video could help. I'm sorry that you struggle with that kind of stuff. I know how it feels. If you want somebody to talk to, I'm all ears. My email is aspergersyndromevlogs@gmail.com. It's an email I made specifically for interacting with people who like my channel.
Congratulations on all of the growth you've gained. Even NTs have to try and learn to reconcile. You have learned so much. I am so sorry that so many people are hurtful. You are doing a wonderful, strong thing by working through this and by sharing through your blog. I hope the loving responses can overshadow the cruelty of internet discourse.
This video describes so many of the things I feel and struggle with in day to day life. Thank you for making this video. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this world, at least in terms of what I struggle with.
Alex I love that you are honest about how you feel about how Aspergers affects you. I hope you know that there are things that are beautifully unique about you. Some of the things you feel are weaknesses are things that lots of people deal with so you're not alone. You are SO brave to say these things out loud. You are going to help lots of other wonderful individuals who struggle realize that they aren't alone. You are going to help educate people understand what Aspergers is about. You go girl!
Your not the only one who’s Asperger insecurities have made your life difficult. Mine caused me to develop severe depression and hysteria conversion disorder. It nearly put me in a box. Although things finally started to get better for me. I was finally able to make actual friends. It took me until I was 20, but they actually care about me and don’t care that I’m different. Things do get better, it just takes a while. Just remember not everyone is a total human turd. Genuinely nice people do exist. And one day you will find them.
There is so much I want to say, because, although I have not officially been diagnosed, I'm slowly figuring out that I most likely have Asperger's. It's quite a trip, re-living my childhood through you and others, with the understanding now that Asperger's explains so many things that have happened to me. I'm 57, and really, really want to tell you something, as someone who's been through a lot of what you have. Although it's good to try to better yourself by working on your weaknesses, it's even better to build on your strengths. You're probably very good at a small number of things, and if you focus on your strengths, you will be very successful. You have a lot to give this world, and this won't happen if you spend all your energy trying to fix your weaknesses. Also, Aspie's CAN have successful marriages; it's just harder to find a mate who is compatible with you. I know; I've been happily married for 22 years, now, but it took forever to find my wife!
Awww, that's truly wonderful about you and your wife. It sounds like it's in a healthy place. You're right, it's good to be aware of our strengths and build on them. Unfortunately, I'm naturally inclined to focus on the negative, but I can work on this by renewing my mind with positivity. Thanks for your comment :)
I totally understand. I couldn't explain it better. This was helpful. My character has been attacked to and it's hurtful. I'm trying hard already with my emotions and then I get criticised. I feel the same way as you do I don't even feel safe in the places are meant to be safe like church.
I'm so sorry you feel that way, especially in church. Sometimes churches can be the most judgmental places out there. I'm blessed to attend a church that accepts me and supports me, like having people there share this channel on Facebook and have people there talk to me. I hope you know that God loves you no matter what and He's what makes us Aspies worthy of love and other people's time. Go to a place where you feel supported and where people believe in you. No one can successfully do life alone.
Happy that you support us all with intel and had this idea for the channel. I also have discussions at home were I get so angry that I feel I cant control my self. Often I smash something or throw something on the floor. That wasnt always, because its necessary that I have a discussion were I have the feeling to be inferior to the other. But the last time I had this I got away pretty good I must say. I only threw a beer can on the floor and it wasnt mine since I dont drink alc. I was in a course the same day and reported to my curse tutor and all the other colleges. The feedback was positive , I also told what happened at home to my psychologist (like the person at home told me to "you speak about that with your psycholigist"). I even said I dont find it okay that I was told that I should speak about this with my psychologist because I dont feel that its the work of the psy. to always listen to discussions that happen at home or have to need to listen to such stuff at all. Shortly said it happend too with me somehow what you call or dont call tantrum if you want it, I just always thought this is some way of expressing that I have anger issues or dont like to be criticized. I even got compared to my father because of getting angry easily, it was a hard time. Now althought I know Im on the specrum which I find somehow unluckily finding out in my 30s...but I sure know now that the anger or tantrum-like stuff is not related to my dad since he was not on the spectrum. This makes me different from him and the person I had discussions with will have to take that into consideration in the future. I like that you also reference to the bible, since I had a few years on a "Monastic school", but I wasnt baptized so my relationship to religion or god was pretty ambivalent until a few years ago when I found back to it. And its so clichee according to some onlince sources that people on the spectrum are rather not in too religion, I dont think its right to say that about "us". And the following of a religion also proofes you or we have sort of social skills no matter if they are impaired some way or not.
I believe God is for everyone. It's wrong to place that kind of limit on God's power. I have been diagnosed with ASD when I was 2, and God has enabled me to understand so many spiritual or "religious" concepts such as love. I know it's hard for many people with ASD to understand abstract concepts, but I believe that God is way more powerful than a brain abnormality. He can heal anything. "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7 ESV). The Holy Spirit enables us Aspies (and everyone who has Him living in their hearts) to produce the fruit of self-control. I myself struggle with anger a lot, and haven't completely overcome it. However, I can see progress being made with me. If nothing else, this Biblical promise gives me hope that I can overcome my anger issues, and I hope it gives you hope, too. Hang in there Lean and trust in God, specifically here His power and His love.
I have a lot of problems accepting it too. One of the things I like about it though is it's one of the things that keeps me humble. Learning about Aspergers is difficult because it feels like I come across so much negativity about it. Although it is lifelong, we can still overcome many of the challenges with time, effort, and learning.
I have never heard the term 'sperg', but I do know what it is like for people to make fun of me. It felt like they saw tormenting me was some sort of entertainment for them, which would make me feel suicide at times. I have used the term 'nerding out', which I use to describe my intense interest in a subject such as diet, nutrition, and food. Sometimes, this interest will consume my whole day, or I might talk about it for hours! I hope that you are doing well. I see that you posted this 6 years ago, so I hope you have had many success. I still have trouble though. People seem to see my obsession about food and the science around it as a problem, while I don't. I don't know why people don't pay more attention to the food they are eating. Thanks for your video and you are not alone.
I can totally relate to you in every way. I have my issues at work recently and I could not control my behavior. I was going to be sooner or later fired. But you inspired me with your videos. Keep going friend =)
Well said. It's terrible when they're actually trying to purely emotionally manipulate you (i.e. dirty selling/buying tactics) to get a better deal and that's their job. You see right through it but then feel so bad after they get mad at you when you don't play nice and be vulnerable; it's hard to entertain them without feeling like you ended up manipulated. Sometimes they will even express their animosity to manipulate or just because they didn't get their way, instead of swallowing their pride. Or they will get hostile if you don't know something they expect you to know. They will ask questions that seem unanswerable or irrelevant and get angry when you dismiss them. Or conversely not answer a clear direct question or narrow their answer on re-questioning. I guess I should develop my emotional regulation better and use active insight into NT thinking so that they don't think I'm arrogant and are friendly, and just avoid manipulators before contact. Pretty sure Asperger's has contributed to my quiet BPD. They will also interpret it as an attack if you question them on their logic for their statements/questions when you are just trying to understand. Feel the same wrt the current/popular topics.
I firmly believe that we are only draining people because we want them to be their loving, perfect, children of God selves, and as usual, the main stream culture wants to live in their sin and be unloving and not recognize their shame and fallen selves... I love you so much for your honesty Alex. I will love to marry you haha
When you talk about anger, I feel angry at times because my head is full of mean and nasty things that people have said to me or what I imagine they might say to me. I can't get those thoughts out of my head, and it gets loader and loader. I hate people making fun of me or anyone.
Can't tell you how many times I've been called an @$$hole by someone who was once my friend. Now she considers my good deeds as bribery. Still, I'm trying to keep myself with God and hope for it all to change.
It sucks. I'm sorry that she's been like that. Friendships are based on trust, not suspicion, and your old "friend" is assuming the worst. Don't give up, continue having faith in God, and continue seeking knowledge and God's wisdom and guidance, and things WILL change ;)
I'm ALWAYS going to be stuck at level one in life in every regard, progression is impossible, my problems are too big for anyone or anything. The way I think is totally defective, with little to no silver lining. Says both intellectual, social and spiritual narcissists, although in different wording.
Brilliant video! You're so intelligent! That self-awareness will succeed. Read David Keirsey "Please Understand Me Ii". Study body language and small talk. You are awesome! Look for a boy who has a large collection of non-fiction books. An introverted 'nerd' will understand you and get you and be grateful to know you. Life gets better after high school. Asperger people make great partners! Many good traits that make them attractive! Love that you have a career vocation direction already. Hope to see more videos!
Just ship us to another planet where we may fit in better. Where we may be happier. Once we get past an extra terrestrial language barrier would probably be a whole new set of barriers because I bet if there are aliens they are too sophicated, scientific and occult minded.
You seem to have a lot of wisdom to be able to make a video like this and I definitely recognise many of the problems you talk about; not so long ago I got so angry and some bloke who nearly ran me over as I crossed the road but felt justified in yelling at me, that I chased him down the street; It's hilarious really, the memory makes me smile. Sometimes I do wonder if the only emotions I have are anger and sadness, it often seems that way.
I don't know if it's my Asperger's or just me but, I see so many people who really are nasty pieces of work and I just think to myself, "f*ck'em", it's almost like a mantra, and I can have a sort of out of body experience as I step back and really look at these idiots and all that energy they put into being a really big bumhole, as if that's supposed to cow and intimidate you, and it just amuses me and makes me stronger, but it's never easy.
I don't have any friends and I am estranged from all of my family, except my Dad, (not my fault I hasten to add, I was just collateral damage so what can you do?) but I can't really have these sorts of conversations with him, I just have to talk things through with myself. Well, I guess the occasional youtube comment helps a bit too, not so long ago I literally couldn't have forced myself to type something like this out, watching videos like yours does help with the struggle. Thanks for all your effort.
I'm glad that this video could help. I'm sorry that you struggle with that kind of stuff. I know how it feels. If you want somebody to talk to, I'm all ears. My email is aspergersyndromevlogs@gmail.com. It's an email I made specifically for interacting with people who like my channel.
Congratulations on all of the growth you've gained. Even NTs have to try and learn to reconcile. You have learned so much. I am so sorry that so many people are hurtful. You are doing a wonderful, strong thing by working through this and by sharing through your blog. I hope the loving responses can overshadow the cruelty of internet discourse.
This video describes so many of the things I feel and struggle with in day to day life. Thank you for making this video. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this world, at least in terms of what I struggle with.
I hoped that this video would comfort others with Asperger Syndrome and it's nice to know that it has accomplished that. Thanks for the comment.
Alex,
I love that you are doing these videos!! What a gift to share how Aspergers impacts your life and how you work around it.
Thank you
Alex I love that you are honest about how you feel about how Aspergers affects you. I hope you know that there are things that are beautifully unique about you. Some of the things you feel are weaknesses are things that lots of people deal with so you're not alone. You are SO brave to say these things out loud. You are going to help lots of other wonderful individuals who struggle realize that they aren't alone. You are going to help educate people understand what Aspergers is about. You go girl!
Thank you so much :) That made me feel better and more confident
Your not the only one who’s Asperger insecurities have made your life difficult. Mine caused me to develop severe depression and hysteria conversion disorder. It nearly put me in a box. Although things finally started to get better for me. I was finally able to make actual friends. It took me until I was 20, but they actually care about me and don’t care that I’m different. Things do get better, it just takes a while. Just remember not everyone is a total human turd. Genuinely nice people do exist. And one day you will find them.
I know exactly what you mean about anger and about being obsessed about things
There is so much I want to say, because, although I have not officially been diagnosed, I'm slowly figuring out that I most likely have Asperger's. It's quite a trip, re-living my childhood through you and others, with the understanding now that Asperger's explains so many things that have happened to me. I'm 57, and really, really want to tell you something, as someone who's been through a lot of what you have. Although it's good to try to better yourself by working on your weaknesses, it's even better to build on your strengths. You're probably very good at a small number of things, and if you focus on your strengths, you will be very successful. You have a lot to give this world, and this won't happen if you spend all your energy trying to fix your weaknesses. Also, Aspie's CAN have successful marriages; it's just harder to find a mate who is compatible with you. I know; I've been happily married for 22 years, now, but it took forever to find my wife!
Awww, that's truly wonderful about you and your wife. It sounds like it's in a healthy place. You're right, it's good to be aware of our strengths and build on them. Unfortunately, I'm naturally inclined to focus on the negative, but I can work on this by renewing my mind with positivity. Thanks for your comment :)
I totally understand. I couldn't explain it better. This was helpful. My character has been attacked to and it's hurtful. I'm trying hard already with my emotions and then I get criticised. I feel the same way as you do I don't even feel safe in the places are meant to be safe like church.
I'm so sorry you feel that way, especially in church. Sometimes churches can be the most judgmental places out there. I'm blessed to attend a church that accepts me and supports me, like having people there share this channel on Facebook and have people there talk to me. I hope you know that God loves you no matter what and He's what makes us Aspies worthy of love and other people's time. Go to a place where you feel supported and where people believe in you. No one can successfully do life alone.
Happy that you support us all with intel and had this idea for the channel.
I also have discussions at home were I get so angry that I feel I cant control my self. Often I smash something or throw something on the floor. That wasnt always, because its necessary that I have a discussion were I have the feeling to be inferior to the other. But the last time I had this I got away pretty good I must say. I only threw a beer can on the floor and it wasnt mine since I dont drink alc. I was in a course the same day and reported to my curse tutor and all the other colleges. The feedback was positive , I also told what happened at home to my psychologist (like the person at home told me to "you speak about that with your psycholigist"). I even said I dont find it okay that I was told that I should speak about this with my psychologist because I dont feel that its the work of the psy. to always listen to discussions that happen at home or have to need to listen to such stuff at all. Shortly said it happend too with me somehow what you call or dont call tantrum if you want it, I just always thought this is some way of expressing that I have anger issues or dont like to be criticized.
I even got compared to my father because of getting angry easily, it was a hard time. Now althought I know Im on the specrum which I find somehow unluckily finding out in my 30s...but I sure know now that the anger or tantrum-like stuff is not related to my dad since he was not on the spectrum. This makes me different from him and the person I had discussions with will have to take that into consideration in the future.
I like that you also reference to the bible, since I had a few years on a "Monastic school", but I wasnt baptized so my relationship to religion or god was pretty ambivalent until a few years ago when I found back to it. And its so clichee according to some onlince sources that people on the spectrum are rather not in too religion, I dont think its right to say that about "us". And the following of a religion also proofes you or we have sort of social skills no matter if they are impaired some way or not.
I believe God is for everyone. It's wrong to place that kind of limit on God's power. I have been diagnosed with ASD when I was 2, and God has enabled me to understand so many spiritual or "religious" concepts such as love. I know it's hard for many people with ASD to understand abstract concepts, but I believe that God is way more powerful than a brain abnormality. He can heal anything. "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7 ESV). The Holy Spirit enables us Aspies (and everyone who has Him living in their hearts) to produce the fruit of self-control. I myself struggle with anger a lot, and haven't completely overcome it. However, I can see progress being made with me. If nothing else, this Biblical promise gives me hope that I can overcome my anger issues, and I hope it gives you hope, too. Hang in there Lean and trust in God, specifically here His power and His love.
@@JesusAlreadyHealedASD
Thanks for these lines, that brings back some optimism for the future.
I miss your videos. You make so much sense. I hope you are doing well.
Thank you! I actually wanna upload a new video either tonight or tomorrow. BOLO ;)
I look forward to seeing it. 🙂 @@JesusAlreadyHealedASD
subscriber# 212 love you girl! thanks for your post. this asperger thing is new to me. having problems accepting it.
btw fuck the haters your beautiful your mind and soul
I have a lot of problems accepting it too. One of the things I like about it though is it's one of the things that keeps me humble. Learning about Aspergers is difficult because it feels like I come across so much negativity about it. Although it is lifelong, we can still overcome many of the challenges with time, effort, and learning.
I have never heard the term 'sperg', but I do know what it is like for people to make fun of me. It felt like they saw tormenting me was some sort of entertainment for them, which would make me feel suicide at times. I have used the term 'nerding out', which I use to describe my intense interest in a subject such as diet, nutrition, and food. Sometimes, this interest will consume my whole day, or I might talk about it for hours! I hope that you are doing well. I see that you posted this 6 years ago, so I hope you have had many success. I still have trouble though. People seem to see my obsession about food and the science around it as a problem, while I don't. I don't know why people don't pay more attention to the food they are eating. Thanks for your video and you are not alone.
I can totally relate to you in every way. I have my issues at work recently and I could not control my behavior. I was going to be sooner or later fired. But you inspired me with your videos. Keep going friend =)
Yeah, self control is really hard, but I believe we Aspies are capable of self control. It just takes practice and learning techniques.
Well said. It's terrible when they're actually trying to purely emotionally manipulate you (i.e. dirty selling/buying tactics) to get a better deal and that's their job. You see right through it but then feel so bad after they get mad at you when you don't play nice and be vulnerable; it's hard to entertain them without feeling like you ended up manipulated. Sometimes they will even express their animosity to manipulate or just because they didn't get their way, instead of swallowing their pride. Or they will get hostile if you don't know something they expect you to know. They will ask questions that seem unanswerable or irrelevant and get angry when you dismiss them. Or conversely not answer a clear direct question or narrow their answer on re-questioning. I guess I should develop my emotional regulation better and use active insight into NT thinking so that they don't think I'm arrogant and are friendly, and just avoid manipulators before contact. Pretty sure Asperger's has contributed to my quiet BPD.
They will also interpret it as an attack if you question them on their logic for their statements/questions when you are just trying to understand.
Feel the same wrt the current/popular topics.
I firmly believe that we are only draining people because we want them to be their loving, perfect, children of God selves, and as usual, the main stream culture wants to live in their sin and be unloving and not recognize their shame and fallen selves... I love you so much for your honesty Alex. I will love to marry you haha
Alex, please don't kill anyone else, just run away. I have the some feelings as you.
When you talk about anger, I feel angry at times because my head is full of mean and nasty things that people have said to me or what I imagine they might say to me. I can't get those thoughts out of my head, and it gets loader and loader. I hate people making fun of me or anyone.
Can't tell you how many times I've been called an @$$hole by someone who was once my friend. Now she considers my good deeds as bribery. Still, I'm trying to keep myself with God and hope for it all to change.
It sucks. I'm sorry that she's been like that. Friendships are based on trust, not suspicion, and your old "friend" is assuming the worst. Don't give up, continue having faith in God, and continue seeking knowledge and God's wisdom and guidance, and things WILL change ;)
You have to build up a fairly thick skin to communicate in boards and social media on the internet, because the internet is full of unanimous bullies.
I'm ALWAYS going to be stuck at level one in life in every regard, progression is impossible, my problems are too big for anyone or anything. The way I think is totally defective, with little to no silver lining. Says both intellectual, social and spiritual narcissists, although in different wording.
I agree with alot of the things you say and the way you feel. Try looking at invisible i, everyday aspergers, and on facebook look at growing up aspie
Brilliant video! You're so intelligent! That self-awareness will succeed. Read David Keirsey "Please Understand Me Ii". Study body language and small talk. You are awesome! Look for a boy who has a large collection of non-fiction books. An introverted 'nerd' will understand you and get you and be grateful to know you. Life gets better after high school. Asperger people make great partners! Many good traits that make them attractive! Love that you have a career vocation direction already. Hope to see more videos!
Just ship us to another planet where we may fit in better. Where we may be happier. Once we get past an extra terrestrial language barrier would probably be a whole new set of barriers because I bet if there are aliens they are too sophicated, scientific and occult minded.