If it goes on too long and there’s no creativity or intensity. Especially when I try and change it up or guide them & they can’t follow, I get bored. Or it feels like they aren’t really enjoying themselves.
I think that it does not sound like based on this clip anyone has considered that sex is a vehicle for more than just chasing ejaculation to identify when to end sex rather than enjoying sex for its own sake and value. Sex can be healing, relaxing, sex can be intimate and bonding or not, it can be an act of affirmation etc Bad sex imo takes all parties into consideration. What works with one person doesnt work for others it doesnt mean yr bad necessarily.
I love this take on sex! I really don't like when people talk about any subject in dual standards "good" or "bad" is it "this or that"? How about it's everything and nothing? Quite literally unlimited and a variety based on human experience and interpretations of this personal act
It's wildly immature to pathologize a man being unable to climax quickly. Why is that the immediate go to IF there's no evidence that drugs or alcohol are involved? Why wouldn't this be a moment for communication and self-reflection? And she admitted she is a pillow princess, so why not try to engage more? Men please don't listen to this 😅 And believe me, it hurts me to be this blunt about a woman's perspective. But this wasn't it
@@teresamarie7460 Sadly this is true. But for the few who may try to take her words to heart, I just want them to be forewarned to not listen to anything she was saying 😩😅 But for real though, u're right that most men don't really listen- which helps explain the dearth of orgasms for women who engage in heterosexual acts. As long as the men finish then the mission is considered accomplished 😕
I kinda have the same perspective as the girl with the pink hair. In the sence it's very sexy when a man come and come quickly. I just think it's hot. It seem like he's really into and just can't help it.🥵 It boost my confidence that I can satisfy him so fast. I get everyone if different tho, some women I no want it to last for hours
EXACTLY!! like I guess women like them exist, i mean they're telling their perspective but I can't relate and this entire conversation seemed unproductive and inaccurate. I really hope men don't listen to them it sounds like they're not enjoying the sex they're having which is fine but don't cast that on all women.
This was wild and explains a lot about why so many men are having sexual relationships that are unsatisfactory. And why a lot of women are as well. I couldn’t relate very much to any of the folx on the panel To each their own
This convo made see that some people are having sex soooooo different to me lol 🤨 just pounding? Just head, too long too short? Just talk to you partner, swap around, change up, watch eachother, like dont people talk to each other and know what each other likes and shit…?
I think you do what works for you. In my world maintenance sex is vanilla soft-serve but relationship sex is the whole farm, dairy and creamery. But it's worth letting the other party know upfront what to expect.
I think being able to communicate your wants and needs is the main ingredient for good sex. Knowing what you like and dislike, plus what your partner likes and dislikes is crucial. It's like creating road map you can navigate together.
There are some men whom practice the art of sex without orgasm. Cupid's Poisoned Arrow is a great book that discusses the nature of sex and how it can be more plentiful by not being so hungry for an orgasm
Personally, I can go for hours without having my first orgasm. My partners have expressed multiple climaxes before asking if I was finished when I wasn’t even close. The reason for it has nothing to do with drugs (I don’t do any) or overstimulation. It is actually a psychological problem my sex therapist has diagnosed me with.
I don’t understand how Jason is doing 1hour plus ….👀when he struggled to do 20pumps. Also tip to him ..move your hips too not just the dropping dick off motion of “up and down.” 😂just saying.
I don't understand why everybody try's to agree on a medium of what being good should be, or duration, the most important thing is communication and chemistry in my mind. You can have sex often, but it being good or bad just depends on so much thing not entirely on the person
Everyone's experiences are different (which can vary from partner to partner). As long as both parties experience pleasure it's all good. So I don't believe it's fair to give an amount of time that's a one for all. Ultimately, stop having unpleasant/ unfulfilled experiences... Be honest with your partner(s) period. It's awesome when you're sexually compatible. Even better when you can connect on nonsexual levels!!!
Kinda wild hearing Shan say that she just found out that a man, particularly her man, would be concerned about lasting long enough. I suppose since she has said penetrative sex doesn't get her there alone, she's okay with the ego boost of getting him off quick without necessarily reaching orgasm first. When she opened saying that the partner who has concern and maybe anxiety is the best lover, you'd expect that there would have been some conversation between the fuck buddy to relationship to marriage to parenting stages of the relationship. Considering that opening statement, the woman with the pink hair would be considered a bad lover on all accounts. Not concerned with pleasing her partner outside of being thick. Maybe if she was more active in the bed she wouldn't have the initial attitude of 20 pumps and go about your day. The talkative guy always came off having a crazy ego and not necessarily the best for an honest engaging conversation, but he at least focuses on lasting long enough for his partner to get off. What i've learned about sex over time is that, like many things, you have to last long as long as the woman needs and not much longer. The drunk sex comment from the other woman was interesting because due to the anxiety of lasting long enough, many people use drugs & alcohol as sex aids, and other things to delay orgasm. But the moment the woman has had enough, she's not gonna be a trooper and wait for you to come down off the high and finish, like in pr0n.
It will be probably controversial but it’s just my opinion not an universal thing, it’s generally better with someone you know well/trust. It’s almost at core of it being bad or good because if you are comfortable, it can’t be that bad as you can communicate. It’s not a spectacle, a movie etc I don’t see how you can set very strict criteria, unpredictability is kind of key. It’s more an interaction, it’s not mechanical. But of course, if you make it a Sport to burn calories which it is more and more… then the performance comes into account (how many strokes? You literally so not in the zone you can count them?). Now how much « performative sex » can be satisfactory - for both genders, that’s another question
@@em4001 Oh it’s simple, because people are fighting fists and nails now that love is/can be an extremely casual thing. And it can, no judgemt here, only then don’t expect an amazing session 🤣 - for most people that won’t really do the deal. Here it’s become a question of « how many strokes » rather than « did you feel something/did you feel good »
Idk I'm really tired of this "women don't enjoy sex" narrative which is what I got from this. These women admit to being lazy in bed, not enjoying their sexual experience and being in pain which is of course their truth and I'm sure many womens' truth but so many more of us enjoy long passionate sex and sex in general and aren't disengaged or wish it would end and I would just like to see women who actually enjoy having sex and not just tolerate it and i say that as having seen a few of these with this same or similar group (one of 2 ppl get changed from time to time) but overall the women don't seem like that actually like sex.
The views and opinions of the girl with the “pink hair” does not reflect the opinion of 75% of woman. I suggest partners learn the body of your partner and their needs. Ask me what I like and need and the same for him.
Not the same person, but I'd guess it's like some people might feel amazing, but then not be very creative, or give amazing oral, but aren't very communicative about what gets them off. Sex is a lot of different experiences in one, so it makes sense most of us aren't amazing in every single part. (Ex. My partner is great and considerate in bed, but he's not very creative and gets nervous initiating new things, so I tend to need to lead more there.)
i think if its with a regular partner, you do get a good sense of timing. most of the time, i'm fine with 30 mins to an hour: beyond that requires a real conversation about hydration and lube and snack breaks. if i had to go for number of sessions versus length of sessions, i would love more frequent sessions of shorter lengths--its just more fun for me.
I think the only good thing with having her on is showcasing how vastly different people think so it especially reiterates how important it is to really discuss things so people are on the same page and know their expectations. People think it’s not romantic and a turn off, but it’s more of a turn off when you find out the hard way you don’t know what the other person’s thinking/feeling and not a good fit for you, since everyone’s good and bad are different.
I could be wrong but I think she is humbling herself by saying she does not know it all & can always learn something. What may or may not be related is the fact that our preferences can shift over time. I used to like a certain type of intimacy in my twenties & now I like nearly the opposite. I don’t believe I we’re exactly who we were 10 years ago, in terms of intimacy, communication, patience, etc. But I understand that may not apply to you.
For me it's so the opposite for some reason. I swear I have some kind of reverse Madonna Whore thing going on (I'm female). Relationship sex isn't as thrilling, though it's a lot of other wonderful things.
Before I watch the show let me put my heavy gold in lol it should last as long as you’re satisfied when you stop… when is good in any aspect of life Time flies by so maybe Yall should focus on that. But let’s see what my people say 💋
The problem with this conversation is that they didn’t distinguish between cumming and orgasms. They are not the same for me. I’d you’re 20 pumps in and I haven’t started cumming yet ( in interval just like she said). We have a problem. Does anyone else have a difference between the two.
If it goes on too long and there’s no creativity or intensity. Especially when I try and change it up or guide them & they can’t follow, I get bored. Or it feels like they aren’t really enjoying themselves.
facts
Therez no time limit l. It's whatever the 2 decide
I think that it does not sound like based on this clip anyone has considered that sex is a vehicle for more than just chasing ejaculation to identify when to end sex rather than enjoying sex for its own sake and value. Sex can be healing, relaxing, sex can be intimate and bonding or not, it can be an act of affirmation etc
Bad sex imo takes all parties into consideration. What works with one person doesnt work for others it doesnt mean yr bad necessarily.
I love this take on sex! I really don't like when people talk about any subject in dual standards "good" or "bad" is it "this or that"? How about it's everything and nothing? Quite literally unlimited and a variety based on human experience and interpretations of this personal act
Exactly
It's wildly immature to pathologize a man being unable to climax quickly. Why is that the immediate go to IF there's no evidence that drugs or alcohol are involved? Why wouldn't this be a moment for communication and self-reflection? And she admitted she is a pillow princess, so why not try to engage more?
Men please don't listen to this 😅 And believe me, it hurts me to be this blunt about a woman's perspective. But this wasn't it
Majority of men don't care what a woman has to say because his short or long performance is to benefit him.
@@teresamarie7460 Sadly this is true. But for the few who may try to take her words to heart, I just want them to be forewarned to not listen to anything she was saying 😩😅 But for real though, u're right that most men don't really listen- which helps explain the dearth of orgasms for women who engage in heterosexual acts. As long as the men finish then the mission is considered accomplished 😕
@@Christine-wu9tx EXACTLY ☺️
I kinda have the same perspective as the girl with the pink hair. In the sence it's very sexy when a man come and come quickly. I just think it's hot. It seem like he's really into and just can't help it.🥵 It boost my confidence that I can satisfy him so fast.
I get everyone if different tho, some women I no want it to last for hours
EXACTLY!! like I guess women like them exist, i mean they're telling their perspective but I can't relate and this entire conversation seemed unproductive and inaccurate. I really hope men don't listen to them it sounds like they're not enjoying the sex they're having which is fine but don't cast that on all women.
This was wild and explains a lot about why so many men are having sexual relationships that are unsatisfactory.
And why a lot of women are as well.
I couldn’t relate very much to any of the folx on the panel To each their own
It explains absolutely nothing. No one can answer a question that there is no answer to.
So glad Shan brought up anti depressants etc. added some nice nuance to the situation, and not looking at lasting as the goal (or orgasming easily).
"Let's delight each other's body's for as long as we want to doing various activities that you want & I want." YESSSSSSSSSSS that part!
This convo made see that some people are having sex soooooo different to me lol 🤨 just pounding? Just head, too long too short? Just talk to you partner, swap around, change up, watch eachother, like dont people talk to each other and know what each other likes and shit…?
Right!! Do they not talk about it during or outside the bedroom? I’m confused lol. That’s how you become better.
I think you do what works for you. In my world maintenance sex is vanilla soft-serve but relationship sex is the whole farm, dairy and creamery. But it's worth letting the other party know upfront what to expect.
I think being able to communicate your wants and needs is the main ingredient for good sex. Knowing what you like and dislike, plus what your partner likes and dislikes is crucial. It's like creating road map you can navigate together.
There are some men whom practice the art of sex without orgasm. Cupid's Poisoned Arrow is a great book that discusses the nature of sex and how it can be more plentiful by not being so hungry for an orgasm
Girl that said if it last too long is insecure with herself. Meaning if a man dont nut fast, she dont feel she is desirable enough
YAAAAAAS Let’s talk about THAT!!!
Personally, I can go for hours without having my first orgasm. My partners have expressed multiple climaxes before asking if I was finished when I wasn’t even close. The reason for it has nothing to do with drugs (I don’t do any) or overstimulation. It is actually a psychological problem my sex therapist has diagnosed me with.
Tell me more, this is interesting.
Yes, tell us more!
@@neoloanderson6676 ❤
@@1876babyface 😊❤
What’s the psychology problem?
I don’t understand how Jason is doing 1hour plus ….👀when he struggled to do 20pumps. Also tip to him ..move your hips too not just the dropping dick off motion of “up and down.” 😂just saying.
😮😊
Everyone's into different things. Whether or not we're bad in bed depends on who we have sex with. That's how I look at it anyway.
Exactly
I don't understand why everybody try's to agree on a medium of what being good should be, or duration, the most important thing is communication and chemistry in my mind. You can have sex often, but it being good or bad just depends on so much thing not entirely on the person
Everyone's experiences are different (which can vary from partner to partner). As long as both parties experience pleasure it's all good. So I don't believe it's fair to give an amount of time that's a one for all. Ultimately, stop having unpleasant/ unfulfilled experiences... Be honest with your partner(s) period. It's awesome when you're sexually compatible. Even better when you can connect on nonsexual levels!!!
exactly!!!!!
Kinda wild hearing Shan say that she just found out that a man, particularly her man, would be concerned about lasting long enough. I suppose since she has said penetrative sex doesn't get her there alone, she's okay with the ego boost of getting him off quick without necessarily reaching orgasm first. When she opened saying that the partner who has concern and maybe anxiety is the best lover, you'd expect that there would have been some conversation between the fuck buddy to relationship to marriage to parenting stages of the relationship. Considering that opening statement, the woman with the pink hair would be considered a bad lover on all accounts. Not concerned with pleasing her partner outside of being thick. Maybe if she was more active in the bed she wouldn't have the initial attitude of 20 pumps and go about your day. The talkative guy always came off having a crazy ego and not necessarily the best for an honest engaging conversation, but he at least focuses on lasting long enough for his partner to get off. What i've learned about sex over time is that, like many things, you have to last long as long as the woman needs and not much longer. The drunk sex comment from the other woman was interesting because due to the anxiety of lasting long enough, many people use drugs & alcohol as sex aids, and other things to delay orgasm. But the moment the woman has had enough, she's not gonna be a trooper and wait for you to come down off the high and finish, like in pr0n.
Well, the Pink Lady did say right at the beginning that she wasn't good in bed or put in that much effort.
@@toomuchinformation That was pretty interesting too. We rarely see women admit to being terrible in bed. I wanna see more of that 😅
Everybody can't be good at everything
My man is anywhere between 5 minutes to 1 hour, sometimes I got to keep checking in like are you there yet? and every time it nope 😂😂😂😂
Pink hair was ..... her first point was wild.
Fascinating that people are this open to talk bout this lmao i could never in my life 😭 interesting tho!
I feel like it also brings up the topic of women’s pleasure not behind prioritized.
I’m in and out in 15-20 minutes , Foreplay and all . I’m like the Navy Seals 🤣🤣
It will be probably controversial but it’s just my opinion not an universal thing, it’s generally better with someone you know well/trust. It’s almost at core of it being bad or good because if you are comfortable, it can’t be that bad as you can communicate. It’s not a spectacle, a movie etc I don’t see how you can set very strict criteria, unpredictability is kind of key. It’s more an interaction, it’s not mechanical. But of course, if you make it a Sport to burn calories which it is more and more… then the performance comes into account (how many strokes? You literally so not in the zone you can count them?). Now how much « performative sex » can be satisfactory - for both genders, that’s another question
Why would this be a controversial take?
@@em4001 Oh it’s simple, because people are fighting fists and nails now that love is/can be an extremely casual thing. And it can, no judgemt here, only then don’t expect an amazing session 🤣 - for most people that won’t really do the deal. Here it’s become a question of « how many strokes » rather than « did you feel something/did you feel good »
Idk I'm really tired of this "women don't enjoy sex" narrative which is what I got from this. These women admit to being lazy in bed, not enjoying their sexual experience and being in pain which is of course their truth and I'm sure many womens' truth but so many more of us enjoy long passionate sex and sex in general and aren't disengaged or wish it would end and I would just like to see women who actually enjoy having sex and not just tolerate it and i say that as having seen a few of these with this same or similar group (one of 2 ppl get changed from time to time) but overall the women don't seem like that actually like sex.
Shan's face at 9:24 😂😂
😂
The views and opinions of the girl with the “pink hair” does not reflect the opinion of 75% of woman. I suggest partners learn the body of your partner and their needs. Ask me what I like and need and the same for him.
I think that there are levels to sex more so than being bad or not
I'm curious, please share your thoughts on this.
Not the same person, but I'd guess it's like some people might feel amazing, but then not be very creative, or give amazing oral, but aren't very communicative about what gets them off. Sex is a lot of different experiences in one, so it makes sense most of us aren't amazing in every single part. (Ex. My partner is great and considerate in bed, but he's not very creative and gets nervous initiating new things, so I tend to need to lead more there.)
Lol pink hair girl projecting her insecurity on men going for more than 20 pumps
Can you interview asian men?
As long as we both finish.
i think if its with a regular partner, you do get a good sense of timing. most of the time, i'm fine with 30 mins to an hour: beyond that requires a real conversation about hydration and lube and snack breaks. if i had to go for number of sessions versus length of sessions, i would love more frequent sessions of shorter lengths--its just more fun for me.
Gurl I’m the pink wig can speak for herself….20 pumps?? she buggin I didn’t like/agree any of her examples/opinions/ or views…
Loll I counted 20 and was like ohhhhh nah she’s alone on that one
She just lays there for 20 pumps lol
I think the only good thing with having her on is showcasing how vastly different people think so it especially reiterates how important it is to really discuss things so people are on the same page and know their expectations. People think it’s not romantic and a turn off, but it’s more of a turn off when you find out the hard way you don’t know what the other person’s thinking/feeling and not a good fit for you, since everyone’s good and bad are different.
Agreed, everything she said was wildly specific to her 🤣
@@Christine-wu9tx Never thought I'd hear a woman say 20 pumps is enough :P
Shan get your ass out of my head!!!!! LOL
If he skilled, I want it to last
Not the comments off on the new vid Shan😢
Dang, it took Jared 10 years (and two kids) to tell you what kind of sex he likes???? That's crazy! Especially since you are a sex educator. 🤷♀
I could be wrong but I think she is humbling herself by saying she does not know it all & can always learn something.
What may or may not be related is the fact that our preferences can shift over time. I used to like a certain type of intimacy in my twenties & now I like nearly the opposite. I don’t believe I we’re exactly who we were 10 years ago, in terms of intimacy, communication, patience, etc. But I understand that may not apply to you.
20 pumps is not enough for me! lol
Pink hair lady is so…………….. yea 😐
If I’m just having sex then I’m boring cause I just want my fix . Now if I’m in love and trust , value my person I go all star porn star lol
For me it's so the opposite for some reason. I swear I have some kind of reverse Madonna Whore thing going on (I'm female). Relationship sex isn't as thrilling, though it's a lot of other wonderful things.
@@thenopedetective this is so interesting hehe. so where does the madonna whore complex go when you're in the relationship?
20 pumps? Where did that math come from lol?
I was in a 7 years relationship we have two kids and I have never came... not once.
Not once? Really?
@@Sheldon1411 I swear to god. I thought something was wrong with me.
Impossible 😮
I’m sad for you 😢
@@neoloanderson6676 Shit happens lol
We need mercy ❤😊🎉
much respect for my girl with the pink hair
Before I watch the show let me put my heavy gold in lol
it should last as long as you’re satisfied when you stop… when is good in any aspect of life Time flies by so maybe Yall should focus on that. But let’s see what my people say 💋
I told the police they were lieing about it
Algorithm engagement
The problem with this conversation is that they didn’t distinguish between cumming and orgasms. They are not the same for me. I’d you’re 20 pumps in and I haven’t started cumming yet ( in interval just like she said). We have a problem. Does anyone else have a difference between the two.
pink hair has too many bad opinions 😭
towards the end I did find myself agreeing with her, good sex can definitely last days
Are they bad? I thought she was refreshingly honest.
Did somebody make a time rule This is the dumbest conversation. Its supposed to last to whatever the 2 decide
Come on, 20 pumps is a joke. 😪 I'd be fuming
Not everyone is the same.
🔥
🙏🏿
👀 🤣