DATING AS A SINGLE FATHER || Love is NOT a PRIORITY for me right now
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- What's good my fellow #ViewmanBeings?
When you are a committed parent, it is not easy to balance those responsibilities with dating. Priorities have been shifted!
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I think I get why some comments are not impressed or not interested. You see, the "my son comes first," comment goes WITHOUT saying. Everyone knows that. Kinda like when you're out on a date neither parties should say, "You're replaceable." We know that, we JUST met.
Your son SHOULD come first, he's a product of you. HOWEVER if you hope to extend the family, date and build with someone, you would have to consider them as well. Doesn't mean leave little man behind (never that) it means lets come to an agreement.
Maybe game night at my place, bring the kids.....
Just met? Cool, lunch break date while kids are in school....
Ya know
Yuck 🤮 says he's not entitled but doesn't want to date other single moms because that would hurt his son, yet believes there's a woman out there willing to take all his baggage and come 2nd, 3rd, 4th... etc. Stick with other baby mamas and clown yourselves out.
Single dads like this are delusional. Any woman who respects herself will not be okay with this arrangement.
I suggest you stick with your son for now he’s still a baby and then when he grows up a little you can go ahead and date a woman WITH A KID so you can be understanding towards each other cause a woman without kids won’t understand she wants you to put her as a priority and it’s just not fair for her.
That’s why my marriage ended. The child’s mother just made it hell and the father my ex-husband would coward down to her because he was afraid of not being able to see his girls or she would drag him back to court for more child-support. She receives 1200 a month for 2 kids. He should pay child support because that is his responsibility as well but she took him to court and got it raised when she found out that I had I guess an expensive wedding ring when we got married. She said that money could’ve gone to their children’s college fund or something and the judge raised it from 1000 to 1300. My husband was being punished just for moving on. She was already remarried with a kid that happened to be my husband‘s best friend. She cheated on him with his best friend and had a kid with him right away... locked him down quick.
Jennifer Auld Whoa, I’m sorry to hear that. I agree and thank you for sharing about the seriousness of waiting!
The Conscious Dad the kids were grown. Kids come first. I agree. It would be wrong not to. But these baby mothers are out of control. Thank you for the kind words.
Love seeing all the support toward the adults and stepmoms out there (who normally never receive support)!! Encouraging!!
lol
Pls stay single and don't waste some girl's time. Why bother with dating if you're so busy with your child??? You don't have the resources to be a full time partner to someone. Nobody wants a part time boyfriend/husband.
Go be a parent and leave the dating scene until your son is older and more independent.
I notice a lot of black women are leaving comments like this.
@@Mr_Originality I'm taking that in too
@@Mr_Originality Ok and? Y'all always talk shit about single mothers, especially Black single mothers.
@@Bells723 ok cool
I’m asian and agree with Simone!
If you’re not looking for love then why are you dating?
for sex
Blaxta Boy That's how he ended up in the predicament he’s in now.
He aint dating he is flinging which is worse! coz if the woman gets pregnant they become last, and they may catch feelings for him...sad....
Maybe he like palmalina! When they play with their dicks they don’t need a woman with or without children because neither woman can compete with his palmalina, cause that bitch has a grip he can’t even loose🤷🏽♀️💯
My now-husband said he wasn’t looking for a relationship either! 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t think you need to be dating. At all. At least you’re with another single mother or until your child is much older like older. No single woman without children is going to tolerate another woman having an influence on the relationship also a woman without children is not going to tolerate a man that is going to put people in front of her. I understand your children come first but if you are going to invite someone in your space and your life then you need to make room for them too it can’t be one or the other it’s simply unfair so if you’re child is your priority as they should be then have that child be your priority without being a detriment to someone else’s wellbeing and the easiest way to do that is to stay single for a while.
I will NEVER understand why childfree people date single parents. It’s asinine!
desperation
Because they are less selfish and like chillin with little people? That comment is something that a person who hasent matured into full adult hood would say. Dont take it personal.. but after you have one or two kids your outlook changes. On everything. Have you ever dated someone with kids? Also depends what you want out of life.. but after you have kids eventually you will come back to this comment and understand in 10 years.
Grow up
Facts!
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN THE CHILD IS THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY?. I BELIEVE WHEN YOU ARE SINGLE THE CHILD IS FIRST.
BUT WHEN YOU START DATING YOU HAVE TO COMPROMISE. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO COMPROMISE ABOUT CERTAIN SITUATIONS THEN YOU WILL BE SINGLE FOREVER!.
Hi, and thank you for sharing some of your time to view this video. To answer your question, I really don’t have any other answer outside of my child being the priority regardless of my relationship status. I also would like to point out that priority and exclusivity aren’t synonymous. There is always room for compromise in my life, and just because my son comes first, doesn’t mean that I don’t place high value on other things in life....it simply means that there is nothing that could ever surpass the importance of my son. Your comment is much appreciated and respected though. Thank you for sharing.
Viewturistic bro dumb it down. These women won’t understand
@@rolorobbins2933 No we all very much understand his child is his life, his everything, his top and ONLY priority, we understand that nothing and no one will ever come above or even close to his son, (Someone however should be able to be a close second if they are a spouse, or even on a similar level, after all in an ordinary context, 2 people made that child out of love, and both spouse and child should be each others world, obviously if it came to having to save the child over the parent, most would die for their child and put them first, but the spouse would be closely behind....)
We understand that he is into flings and could potentially get another female pregnant on one of those flings and that woman would be last and not a priority....or not even a close second.
We understand that even though his son is top priority, he makes no attempt to show how he would make room for a commited relationship in the future where he will HAVE to dedicate some time to the person. We understand he DOES NOT WANT TO PUT IN TIME, EFFORT, ENERGY, COMPROMISE UNLESS THAT INVOLVES PURELY AND EXCLUSIVELY HIS SON. We understand that he is willing to die without putting in any organisational time, effort, energy, quality time, planning to build a relationship and stable loving relationship, if it even takes half a second away from his son. We understand that he misses seeing his son everyday and he is hurt his relationship effed up and now he aint gonna see him everyday and is resentful of that....
We understand as a single parent for many on here, they only see there children and dont see anyone else, and expect those childfree to just wait by the sidelines until whenever, wherever, is good for the single parent to see them, date them which could be a month, could be a year, could be never, who knows?
We understand that he should stay single and not dating childfree people ever with this mindset, and feel priviledged if he does get a childfree person that is a good calibre person!
Compromise what? Nobody should come before his child..some women can't understand that?
I agree with the ladies. Doesn't sound like a single guy has anything to offer. Why must a woman date him? It's like he wants the most supportive and understanding woman, but he can't even offer a 1/16th of that. Maybe single parents must just stay single.
His ass needs to stay single. He's not trying to commit full time to a woman, but he will commit full time to his son. So damn selfish. He would talk shit and feel some type of way if a single mother told him her child comes first.
@@aaliyah-mz4zh every single parent who thinks like this, needs to stay single. You can’t want a person to give you everything and you give them whatever leftovers you have
Am glad single fathers are realizing to please leave us alone date someone like you save us righteous ones for the ones with no children less drama
another useless option spotted- thanks for commenting.
Mary McTier yes we deserve better!
@Mary McTier can I get an ammmmmmmeeeeeennn lol
@@CaesarFernandesMusic no likes for yo comment lol
Carry On not looking for attention like many of the delusional single women here so don’t care . Just sharing my opinion
You have to understand what you put out into the universe is what you get back.
Very true!!!
Wheww single women get a man without kids
We damn sure don't need a single father trying to put us on the back burner for their child or children. We deserve our own man who is willing to put us first. We damn sure don't need to be getting put last for his baby momma who sooner or later coming with all types of drama. I know from experience and never the fuck again will I date a single father who could decide anytime to leave you for baby momma. It's just not worth it unless baby momma is dead or in prison for life.
Why date and hurt women feelings if you don’t ready to date...stop wasting women time!!!!!Please
Generally people wasted other people timing
I don't get the point of this video, as a public expression. Everything takes balance and compromise. Don't date would probably be more of a solution than to fish for a woman that fits into that equation. Interesting perspective tho!
Single parents should honestly just date other single parents that can be a little more understanding. There’s nothing appealing about knowing that you’re forever gonna be #2, 3, 4 etc depending on how many kids the other person has.
People with kids should stick with people with kids I’d say.... I don’t think it’s fair to date someone with out kids and your her #1 priority
Amen. Makes everything. Much easier
And this is why I believe single parents should only date each other, or stay in a relationship/marriage with the mother/father of their child. Leave single people who have no baggage alone.
If women are over 35 even without a child they will have baggage 🧳 its called the wall 😆 🤣
@@Island_man Meanwhile men in their 30s are born inside the wall 😂
This comment of ladynottingham89 is stupid. Love is love . And shit happens. Nobody plans to be a single mom or dad.🤦♀️
@@billymadison1471 Who cares if you didn't plan to be a single parent. You are one, so deal accordingly. Love is NOT love all the time, sometimes your love is worth less. A single parent's love is meaningless.
@@billymadison1471 pick better people to sleep with AKA in a marriage.
Yes any single dad with this sentiment I can not or never will want to date! I agree he has nothing to offer a woman because he is saying she will be always last.No woman will agree to date someone who says to them you are last in my life. actually this video just shows me why I dont date single fathers especially ones with no support system to where they have free time every once in a while.
Absolutely agree, its great he puts his child first. He should date a single mother (not a childfree woman) and they can see each other whenever they get free time, be it one a month, once a year etc, as they can put their children first and their love life last....or maybe date when their kids go off to college......
@@rolorobbins2933 why do you go after hoes then? And correction its ladies not hoes... And so what would you want for your daughter, sister, mother, aunty, to go for shit standard men who wanna have flings and don't want to commit, who won't make time for them? Who are the last person on their mind, rather than someone who is an important part of their life and that they emphasise that they are important, Is that the kind of entitlement you mean? Or are you getting angry Coz u got baby mama drama and regrets, and now know dating is 10 x harder as a single parent?
Lol.
Of course he'll put his kid first. It's paternal instinct. Mothers do it as well.
Rolo Robbins she’s entitled because she doesn’t want to date some broke nigga single dad? Black males are always talking about “no to single moms” but you expect childless black women to accept your baggage? I’m childless and don’t want a man with kids. Especially a black male. A lot of niggas lie about how many they have a choose to only take care of one while having 3 other kids by 3 different baby mamas somewhere else.
@@moniquejolivette6196 you sound bitter
When she's "not used to being second" *shivers* no childless woman deserves to deal with that mentality.
If a grown woman can’t handle a man prioritizing his kids, she is a selfish bitch, she doesn’t deserve him
@@benbruhns192 no hunny he should not waste her time and find you a baby mama coz you is a baby daddy! leave single childless women ALONE!
@@benbruhns192 that is so true
@@benbruhns192 And you think single dads aren’t being selfish with a woman’s time ?
you have nothing to offer a woman....not even compromise
so tired of people that have kids think that they are more important than the person that has none
We appreciate your feedback. While, I would have to respectfully disagree with your stance on me not having anything to offer a woman, I also don't have enough information about your experiences for me to speculate why you have arrived to that conclusion. I'm not sure where in this video I insinuated that I was more important than someone who doesn't have kids, but I am certainly open for discussion about how you arrived at that statement. Thank you for tuning in, and I hope that maybe some of our other videos might provide you with the inspiration that we intend to share with our viewers.
April Roney preach baby!
April Roney exactly I totally agree I wouldn't date them because I hate kids and don't want to be put third am a priority
These women on this thread are full of shit. They hate that you are a single father handling your business. These thots on here don't deserve to be mothers anyway. They are selfish pricks!
April Roney i feel u
Interesting perspective, but ladies please If you do not have kids please do not date a man w kids. Find a man that can fully invest in you, grow with, love and create special new moments with (such as bringing a child into the world). Don't settle. Situations like this are complex and full of drama. There are plenty of educated, wise and childless men out there who seeking you. Use this video as an example to keep the standard high!
@@characteristicallyauthentic You answered your own question. "Successful to *your* standards. Everyone has that right.
@@characteristicallyauthentic “so being a single father is below standard?” Yes. You have zero to offer a woman, because everything you have goes to your kid(s). And kids do grow up, but you’re never NOT going to be a father. Those kids will ruin every relationship you’ll be in, wether they’re 4 or 40.
@@characteristicallyauthentic first off, a widower and single parent aren’t the same. Your relationship didn’t break down, and you don’t have an ex who will be a constant in your life (I’m sorry about your loss by the way, truly I am.) With that said, for a childless woman, what benefit would you bring that a childless man couldn’t? You will always have less to offer a woman like that than your childless counterpart, and that’s an undeniable fact. I’m not saying single parents shouldn’t date, it’s that they should only date other single parents. For some reason though, single parents think OTHER single parents aren’t worth dating, but somehow THEY’RE the exception. Funny, isn’t it?
@@characteristicallyauthentic “love for your child and love for your partner is totally different.” Yes, and parents say all the time that parental love is all that matters, not romantic love. That’s literally the point of this video. Also, what value is love if you’re not put first? Not valuable at all. And why is it so weird for single parents to filter out childless people and vice versa? Men without kids say “no single moms” all the time, but it’s out of the question for single parents to say “no childless people” when filtering partners? All this says about you is that you, like all other single parents, are selfish. You want a childless partner to put you first, while you neglect them and put them last. You want a one-sided relationship, where only you benefit.
Focus on your son he looks very young.. People have to understand you have priorities and that’s fine do you.. But me personally I wouldn’t date a man like you because of the way you speak.. You don’t want to compromise and there’s a lot of women who wouldn’t date you because of the way you speak.. my Advice get a woman who has children because a woman without them wouldn’t understand you because of the way you speak
Thank you for your view. You are absolutely right, there are a lot of women who wouldn’t date me, and there are a lot of women I wouldn’t date either. However, that’s just the way life goes. None of us are entitled to unanimous acceptance by all those who we cross paths with, and me coming to terms with that has probably been one of the most liberating feelings I’ve ever experienced. To know that not everyone is for everyone, saves a lot of time and headaches, and pointless “situationships”
@@Viewturistic you seem like a narcissist. If a woman has a problem with your child then she is probably trash. But if a woman doesn't have a problem with your child and only desires your consideration as you go about your day then she is not the enemy plotting to come between your bond. She just wants to be included. She's there for both of you. In my experience men will walk away from a woman willing to make it work just because it isn't as easy as using a girl for a few hours at a time whenever they feel like it.
@@KristinAlayna Amen to that comment! I'm a single mom in a failing relationship with a single dad that thinks very much like this young man. I'm very understanding & flexible as I am a single parent as well. I would never want to come in between the bond between father & child(ren)
Yet, I'd like to feel wanted & blend families eventually. Isn't that the end goal when you date? And I understand that it takes time to blend families & it must be done carefully as not to damage the children. In the meantime you can build your relationship by seeing each other & communicating as much as possible without the children present. We as women (even single mom's) want to feel special & needed.
It’s interesting become more cautious when they become a single dad and before that they don’t use their head to think properly and be cautious
I really can't understand the appeal of dating a single parent if you don't have children yourself.
Jane Peck Desperation, probably.
Shows he is able to support himself and child. And single dads are more likely.to settle down than non single dads. Single dads are more mature and have more ambition than non single dads. Stats not opinions
William Goboff Single dads are more suited for single moms. Childfree men have more time and resources then a single dad and can provide a fresh start to a relationship with no prior ex wives or kids to worry about.
I married a divorced father because I’m disabled. The dating pool is much smaller and less attractive for us! 😭
ya im a single dad.. and I dont want to date a single mom. I rather have a hot tight girl with no stretch marks and a fit body. Its totally ridiculous that you think single dads should only date other parents.. not even attracted that. I will take my chances.
Just stay single homie.
I dated a man with kids recently and I had no reservations until him. He cancelled as well. I would say you would also need to respect a woman's need for one on one time. Relationships take time to cultivate. You also have to respect that as much as they need to respect you have a child. I learnt something from my experience single fathers/mothers are overly entitled. You also needs to realise that a childless women has to sacrifice so much to date a person with a child. In my case no nights out, no weekends out. Its like he was doing me a favour. When he cancelled, I expected him to show some consideration, make it up to me, send flowers but show me it I mean something. I felt hollow, I felt alone. I could not plan for dates, he had to and I was basically waiting all the time. No woman wants to feel like that for any reason, even she was married to you. Your child is innocent, but so is the woman you are dating. Its up to you to make is easier for her.
@KiddRogers I hear you. They assume their life matters more than ours. So you should put up with their bull shit. Mine said he was doing everything he could to make time for me, that was once every two weeks if I was lucky.
@KiddRogers my childfree status should be respected, I don't have children there are other things I am doing currently. So I need a pretty good reason to change my life for a man with children.
Is it sad to think; I’m 34 year old single woman. I’m attractive, fun, I work out, eat well, and I’m a hard worker. I have a lot of love to give but also want to receive it. I’m currently interested in a man who at first I didn’t know had kids. In a way I’m finding that I’m willing to semi settle, because aside from him having kids, he’s genuinely a great person. The people pleaser in me thinks that he also deserves love. But to my point I feel like I’m settling because of my age. It’s hard to find a single man without kids at my age. Or that’s been divorced or has had his own history with relationships. I’m not 20 anymore. So statistically I feel like this is just my reality now. Any advice?
@@ltmltm4945any update? Are you still with him?
He basically need to raise he’s son until he’s grown or get back with the mother.
Hello Viewturistic, I've read quite a lot about dating dads with kids & second marriages/major relationships and many push the viewpoint that you are doing: kids come first, new partner comes second. You even take it a step further by refusing to include a new partner in, what sounds like, a substantial amount of 'alone time' with your boy. I've also had male friends (in their 40's, as am I) who have come out of long marriages, with kids, and also support that viewpoint: kids come first, new partner comes second. I don't have children, but I understand the viewpoint completely, for different reasons. However, I don't think that it is the best viewpoint/approach to have - either for the child, any prospective new partner, or the parent. If I may, I'd like to use you and your son as an example. You son has, I assume, already experienced one unstable parenting relationship and as a result been through one traumatic loss (his/her other parent). In the run up to this happening, your son has already experienced/witnessed an unstable/dysfunctional/unhappy relationship between his parents. As a result, this has gone some way to setting up an unstable/dysfunctional/unhappy set of role models of how adult relationships should be. Now that your single and putting him first, above all and everyone else, he is learning that the world revolves entirely around him and that you, and anyone else that tries to enter it, will make sacrifices for this to be the case. He is learning that it is okay to distrust and disrespect potential partners by telling them when they can and cannot be included in the family unit, he is learning that it is okay to treat women in this manner. And, he is being set up for a potential new set of unstable/dysfunctional/unhappy parental role models, with the potential for another traumatic break up. Putting all of your happiness and focus on to you son is burdening him, in the long run, with a parent whose emotional well-being relies entirely upon him. Depriving your son of yet another person who can love and take care of him, that's maybe even a bit selfish, is it not? Okay, not the prospective partner. For almost any prospective partner to be shut-out of bonding with, shut out of bonding with you, treated as unworthy and as having needs which are lesser than those of you and your son, will ultimately be unappealing to just about anyone. For someone to be in a partnership, supporting you and your needs, it must be reciprocated, equally. For someone to be in a partnership and respectful of your needs, it must be reciprocated, equally. No one can healthily sustain a partnership when used as a convenience. There is a wise saying "do not make someone a priority in your life, if you are only an option in theirs" - this advice is something I would apply heavily to any prospective partner. And finally, you, this is not good for you either. It's great that you love your boy so much, there is no denying that you do. But to love others does not detract from that. And surely, the more love there is, between you and your son, you and your partner, you son and your partner - the better. Providing stability, love, support, emotional well-being..... Try reading this article - it's a little religion-focused, but the tips are most definitely good - especially number 2! pairedlife.com/relationships/Tips-for-Staying-Together-in-a-Second-Marriage
Hi, and thank you for your view! Your comment is very profound, and I’d actually love to take some time to exchange dialogue in the near future. Of all the comments from people who disagree with my perspective, yours is by far the most respectful and insightful. There are actually a lot of things that you said that have forced me to consider seeing things from a different angle, and that’s what Viewturistic is all about.....many viewpoints.
Awww, this is lovely to hear Mr Viewturistic. And yes, I am happy to exchange dialogue - though it may be a bit sporadic. I'm interested, what thoughts are going through your head since reading my reply?
Very true. The whole "my child comes first" is a deeply flawed and unrealistic viewpoint when it comes to parenting and dating. My father had that view point when it came to his girlfriend and it lead me to be raised thinking I could treat her as terribly as I wanted because "Dad is always on my side." People who say their kids are number 1 and I BETTER NOT FORGET THAT in dating profiles and such, I just skip them. There are fathers that don't have an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with their children.
I even disagree with married bio-logical parents putting their children before each other. That is a recipe for disaster and likely the major recipe for divorce. Just think of your feelings and needs coming first in a marriage and in a drop of a hat your partner puts them last for years and years after having a child. I know people feel that stating "I put my kid first over my wife, my girlfriend, myself and so on" is noble, but it is actually really devastating to marriages, relationships and the child at play.
Wow, very interesting. Perhaps this is how some narcissists come about?
Terren Moto It really is sick.
Single mothers should be with single fathers. A person without a child most likely just wants to go out for drinks and turn up as a way of getting to know and date somebody. Nobody with kids got time or energy for all that anymore. I would definitely choose to pursue a single father instead because instead of bonding over drinks, we can bond over our children playing at the park and it not be a problem. Hard to believe a childless man would enjoy or even appreciate an experience like that the way that a single father would.
And then every family would be like the Brady Bunch with 10000 times more disfunction. Great Idea 💡
@ Brittany Agree, preach gurl
Real one
Some idiot just emailed me and this is basically what his ideal lamb would think like:
ATTN all single parents! We should put ourselves last always and happily take the crumbs of a relationship that single parents give ok! We are selfish for wanting more from a partner! We should NEVER ask or expect our needs to be met by our romantic lover who has a child because how dare you, you know all their energy is for their children, and you signed up for that! Just stay in the shadows and don't expect much ok, and don't even bring up that they are broker financially than the avg single person you might go out there and find because that selfish too! Basically don't expect a mutually beneficial relationship where both partners needs are important and where there is love and respect! You must stay the sacrificial lamb ok.. be happy with that because that's all you're getting. What you get in return for your sacrifices is the pleasantries of their company.
Thank you all , and good luck on your journey with a ready made family
+grace angulo who ever sent the email obviously feels strongly about the subject. But we are not promoting any kind of use of women or men as a sacrificial lamb. We are not saying that a woman or man in a relationship comes last. We are simply stating that the child comes first.
Viewturistic if you're ok with being second than I can roll with that, but just know our relationship will be pointless
+grace angulo it's not about being second. It's about the child being first to the parent, especially when the child is very young. And why is it ok for 2 people that have a child together to put their child first but it's not ok for a single father or mother to put their child first?
this question needs no thought. its biologically both your children, thats why. i dont mind putting my needs 2nd to my flesh and blood . biology takes over sweetie. also ,married people are making a mistake by not putting their marriage first. children do not raise themselves and they most certainly dont run a household or dictate what happens in said household, but my children's well being would be first.. i mean think about it same mom same dad who cares the child belongs to both. you want the outsider to accept this dont you? to feel just as the bio dad or mom does?? lol man this is laughable. JUST DATE OTHER SINGLE PARENTS! dam its not hard
thats fine as long as you know you dont come first for me either lol.. what is hard about this? dont date until your child is like 40 or something or date a single mother who suits you better..or wait..you dont want her because she wont put you first because her kids come first? lol.... you cant have the best fruit at the top of the tree anymore boo. it dont work that way. stay in your dating pool.
This guy would have NOTHING to offer me . Period. It makes no sense to put someone first when they put you last. You know what's funny and you guys should try it... try treating a single parent in the same priority in which they treat you , and watch them grow into a ball of frustration because you won't number one them! And they never even stop to think that's exactly how they do you. They can't handle it. Which tells me they wouldn't date themselves because of how they want to be treated lol. Ain't that some shit! If you want a life partner you're gonna have to go back to the drawing board sir because there is nothing attractive about what you have just stated. Your kid comes first is fine if you wanna stay single...as they should, but you are not marriage material with that mindset. Sorry not sorry. Not worth my time fo sho
grace angulo you’re opinion is much appreciated. The Viewturistic lifestyle thrives on the ability to embrace perspectives from multiple angles, regardless of whether they align to our own personal ones or not. For the sake of good conversation though, it would be remiss of me to not point out the intentions of our message; which is, kids are better off when they are the priority over any love interests. Kids don’t deserve to be anything less than first, and should never have to endure the feeling of being chosen secondary to any romantic pursuit. They didn’t ask to be placed in the situation they are in, and because of that, it is typically responsible for any parent to put their dating priorities after their parental ones. Additionally, it must be noted that I agree with you 100% that I would absolutely not be marriage material to someone who can’t accept that they would never come before my son, and in all honesty, I’d never hope to be attractive to someone who doesn’t respect that.
This is precisely why transparency is imperative so that neither party wastes their time with someone who they don’t share the same values with when it comes to these types of issues. Ironically, before I became a father I actually did hold a double standard, expecting that I should be allowed to treat a woman how I wanted to, and feel that my anger was justified if I were to receive that same treatment. However, the blessings that my son has brought me go far beyond his physical presence in my life. I have been blessed with a Viewturistic mindset that actually would never expect anyone to put me first over their main priority in life either. What a gift to be able to put myself aside, to show those in my life that I don’t feel entitled to be a priority over things that matter to them most. Thank you for watching. Please stay tuned for future videos 😉
grace angulo I'd say from the looks of it. It most definitely is worth your time seeing that you took so much time to write about this. And anyone who doesn't put their children first, there is something wrong. Even my wife and I put our daughter first above each other. That doesn't mean we don't love each other. So it is most certainly possible to be in a working relationship when there is a child involved period. But if one such relationship fails for you don't expect everyone of them to fail. Just stay Viewturistic and move to what's next. Whether that be another relationship or working on yourself.
Jacob Harwell um did u just say we put our daughter 1st? It's y'all daughter! Lol, and like I said before he would not get my time of day. I love that he is such a great dad , but I would not be considering long term with a man like him. Did you hear him say he's had flings? I'm more than that! Did u hear him say it's about when he's ready? Buddy sounds like he's ok with wasting a woman's time! It's all about him.... let him do him, but he won't get in my lane! Did my comment realness butt hurt you? Should I waste someone's time like how he does ? What if I put him last then? I mean that's where he belongs and I'm sure he wouldn't mind since he will get more time and energy with his son. What's the point of 2 people being together who would put each other last? Surely you dont "expect" i put him first do you? Do you?And lastly I have no children..why on earth would I be so in love or so stupid to come into something with this man.. he wouldn't be long term so why would I make human beings with him. He states over and over that "he" has to be ready..lol..boy bye. Live your life tho, but please out my lane .. NOTHING TO OFFER!
Jacob Harwell he can put his child first, as he should..I believe I said that, and I understand children need alot of that, but it's about balance sweetie...he doesn't speak from a place of balance. There should be a 1a, and a 1b sort of thing. One is familial, and one is romantic love. First God, then your marriage, then your children. So because someone already has a child it his child, the man's needs, maybe they care about God, then the job, then the dog..then maybe me/or any other woman? And I'm supposed to be the sacrificial lamb that's ok with that? Oh I get it ! Because he is so fly and I just can't find another who will put me last ? Yes that must be it. ...hmmmm how bout I get my own family or single parents date other single parents!!! Stop taking childless people through sub par relationships and cheating them out of what you already had!
+grace angulo so 1b is romantic love right? You just put it after your family which would be your child in this case.
Love is not a priority then don’t waste anyone’s time and just focus on your son or just stay with your baby mama which he probably does anyway
Your not neglected him if you are going on a date. Everybody needs a me time.
As a single parent your priority should always be focusing on your child even when you're dating, but when you make a major move like getting married, your marriage is what's supposed to come first. A lot of people don't understand that or misconstrued that saying, I won't get into details about it, but that's marriage. If a man has this same logic, "my child is what comes first", the marriage will LIKELY fail and the more a child understands that about their parent, they will take advantage of them. If I made that made any sense....a man having children while I have none is a major NO NO for me. That's 1 plus however many heads he got against me! I want my own family. When I get with a man, I want it to be just US and have time to ourselves. Cant do that if he's got kids. I think people with kids should get with other people who got kids, that way they both have something in common and it could possibly work between them having a blended family. Your child is beautiful, I think you should try to work it out with his mother.
I’m in a situation where I have to decide to stay or go. I am new to dating and childless but what you’re saying scares me. I don’t mind the child but feeling like an after thought doesn’t sound sexy at all. Time for me to have a hard conversation.
I understand the idea that you should spend some quality time with your child. However, I find it hard to believe any woman will not understand that. As much as I dont have kids, it is hard for me to believe I will be extremely mad if you had to cancel some date because of your son. I think the issue is more about your arrogance of being a single dad, like you deserve a gold medal for it. The truth, this is not about priority but rather how far you are willing to go to make space for someone else in your life. After all nurturing is in all woman DNA with or without kids and if I love you then I will surely adore your son.
Anything else is just plain selfish and disrespecful.
Your comment implies an aparent unwillingness on the part of this single father. That's false. He is certainly willing to make space for someone else in as far as it is not detrimental to his first relationship (his son).
The question of willingness should rather be thrown back on the other party being dated - ie: Are you willing to let your selfish ambition and need for attention be put aside for the sake of the original intent for romantic relationships which is to populate the earth with moral and productive offspring.
"Self" has become so important these days. Humans are so selfish that we have come to believe that relationships are about US, when really the actual purpose is as aforementioned.
Amazing grace ate him in the comments lmao😂I love it!
Bro get off the video and go play with your child, hes bored !
If you date a woman with kids then she should have no problem understanding that your son comes first. Where the problem starts is when you start dating women with no children. Its a bit harder for them to comprehend what responsibilities come with being a parent.
People brutally honest like you is what we need when it comes to relationship. Congrats.
Thats very firmed principle you have here .you got it right.you cant serve two masters so if you're going to date then you should be ready for it.you save some women from heartache by not dating
Zoeyjo M true
Where is the mother?
In 20 yrs when his son is off dating he is gonna be home alone .
He's going to be single for so long he'll forget how to even be in a relationship.
No he won’t because men move FAST. A little too damn fast
GOD FIRST AND SPOUSE IS NEXT YALL PUTTING TOO MUCH ENERGY IN THESE KIDS. AN THAT IS WHY YOU ARE A SINGLE FAYHER NOW.
spouse next after God? ahaha. you overestimate your majesty.
I agree with this message. So many parents with children whether it's single mothers or single fathers feel the entitlement of raising their standards when it comes down to dating and expecting people to come to the table with a clean slate with no baggage and no drama but they are not able to come to the table living up to those same standards . They want their partner to offer them what they can't offer their partner in return. I admit everybody has the right to have preference even if they are not setting that same example and full of hypocrisy. To me it's beyond arrogant, evil, and selfish for you to want the person you date to be a certain type of way for your own benefit and convenience but you are not representing those same things you expect our of your partner and not caring how your situations you're dealing with are gonna be convenient and in lots of cases not a benefit to them. They gotta deal with your baggage, your drama, and you not having a clean slate. That's not fair. I'm a child free woman. I have every right to want a man with no children cause I'm living up to those standards. No man should expect me to date him having a clean slate, no kids, and no drama if he has those same things he not even gonna tolerate from me and he's expecting me to tolerate that mess from him. Any single parent with that mindset don't deserve child free people. And if any child free person still wanna date a single parent knowing that single parent has that mindset of entitlement I think it's stupid on the child free person's part to wanna date these parents. I wouldn't date a parent thinking that way knowing they wouldn't date me if I was in the same situation as them. If any parent feel entitled to only date a child free person they better work hard to make arrangements to still make time for their partner in a way that it won't interfere in them still raising and caring for their children and they better make arrangements to make time for their children in a way that it won't interfere in them making time for their child free partners that are not accustom to being in the situation that you are in. Don't bring childless people like us into your life and treat us like we are not human and don't have needs too. We are free people that don't have the loads of responsibility of raising children like you so therefore we will not relate to you. We are not on the same frequency as you. So therefore you need to be considerate in how you treat us if you want us. Otherwise if you can't do that then you need to stay in your lane and date other parents who may understand and relate to your situation more than us childless people would. Like I said I have the right to want to date only childless men. I feel I deserve that right and is worthy of that right because I'm a childless woman. Single parents have the right to only want childless people too but I don't think they are worthy or deserving of that right. Don't expect something from your partner you cant give back to them. You are a heartless selfish hypocrite.
This guy reminds me of my boyfriend because that's how my boyfriend is with his son and that's one thing I love about my boyfriend is that he puts his son before anybody I wish a lot of men were like that when it comes to their kids instead of a lot of men put their girlfriends before their kids and I do not respect a man like that
Alexander Edmondson How did the sex change go?
What I don't understand about people with children. You have so much effort love etc that your willing to put into your son but the mother is the large part of the game 2,,, why not give the same effort so you can be one.
Also. ..... If GOD sacrifice his ONLY SON!👈 for us humans... what will we sacrifice.... I hope everything comes full circle for u at some point... or just date a woman that has a kid and you guys blend together.
Tbh single dads should only date single moms. The amount of negative comments coming from women on here is due to not having your own kids. I under what he saying, he is not going to abandon his children for some pxssy. He wants stability and consistency for his kids. Most relationships now a days break after a month. He doing it to protect the child and doesn’t want his kid to get attached to someone n then they bounce. Divorces make a lot of ppl cynical. I would not expect for some man to come in my life and take care of my 3 kids. U have to guarded. It’s like this: single parents want to find companionship but not at the compromise of their kid.
@ Hey Huda Agree agreed the child comes first, but those fathers/mothers who dont make/want to make time for a relationship (be it them getting to know someone long enough to know if there will be a future without involving their children and balancing parenthood with dating) , should definitely stay on their own or
date a single mother/father who also doesnt mind seeing each other once a month/ or once a year, or once every few years etc.....And leave those who want to spend quality time together to get on with having quality, loving relationships where they also get to see each other regularly...
This is went over a lot people head. Much respect for the awareness, transparency, standard. This is how its supposed to be. That caution is necessary big dog. Keep it going
I don't believe in the statement 'my kids come first.' To begin with you cannot another being more than you love yourself. You can only love as much as you love yourself. If you are taking care of yourself then you can take care of your baby. If I married a man, our relationship comes first, because we set the standard by which we raise our family and prioritise our family. No way in my life will children come first whether they are from me!
Your child should always come first. PERIOD. If my child coming first means staying single, so be it it. Twenty years from now you’re going to look at that baby & think “Hey, I did good” or “Damn. I should have spent more time on Jr.” I started dating a single dad when I first started nursing school & it was so nice! He cares enough to call but he has a life too! I don’t like feeling smothered & so it’s ideal for me. I never expected my heart to be so full. A single Dad with 1 child is okay! 😉
Very well said
@ Twyia Absolutely agreed, but those fathers who dont make/want to make time for a relationship, should definitely stay on their own or
date a single mother who also doesnt mind seeing each other once a month/ or once a year, or once every few years etc.....And leave those who want to spend quality time together to get on with having quality, loving relationships where they also get to see each other regularly...
This video and the comments were eye opening.
Thank you for taking a view on this topic with us. Would you mind sharing what was particularly eye opening to you about the video and the comments? As always, we appreciate you tuning in!
I totally agree with you. I’m dating a single dad who has his son basically all the time. He’s also going to school taking a shit ton of summer classes. I think it would be so rude and inconsiderate of me to try to push him to make me a top priority. I think this is when me having my own life and ambitions helps. I’m okay with him not being able to get together every weekend. I’m working on things myself career wise and just things I’m passionate about. Do I miss spending time with him? Yes, but I’m not about to have him thinking he needs to sacrifice time with his son for me.
See women like u give me hope I'm a single dad of 3 and some women I guess they liked me sleep with me which is koo but then I think is going somewhere and they cut me off and say I dnt have enough time some still wanna hangout but only at nights never ask to go out with my kids my kids do come first but I do try to make time for whoever I'm dating but I guess that's just never enought
So u put urself last? Low self esteem smh
@@brownpride4866 use that quality "but I do try to make time for whoever I'm dating" to identify a fitting woman for yourself. It is enough for someone who understands & values your priorities (that's an important part of love anyway, right?) As a single woman w/ no children and a slight openness to dating single fathers, it's never an issue that he's spending majority of his time with his kids and tending to his business; the issue is when there's a lack of intentionally making time for me & shrugging that off. A woman who fits you will understand and value your effort, no matter how big or small. Keep the hope.
@@brownpride4866 find you a wonderful single mom and everyones a winner, you are not a best fit for childfree woman
Girl, you are the type of girl they want too....where do you think it's going? Just because you are busy yourself doesn't mean you should allow time to go by and be wasted by someone who really can't give you a future? If you are in your prime capitalize on that. Don't give an undeserving person your time in your prime.
Thats right. I total agree. As a single mother i see my kids as 1# as men come and go. But your kids are always gonna be there for life.
@ Love vacuums, thats why single parents should date each other....because you all have already had that experience of having your first borns with someone else and share parenting experience. And its a shame you think a man will come and go there are some very good men out there, that want commitment and forever...and they will want to have quality time, be prioritised re: quality time, and at least feel a close 2nd or another priority in your life, even if its not to the exact same degree as your child...esp if they are child free.....which I would say is a bad idea
Im a single dad, I'm not religious or anything, but I'm pretty sure in a family structure it's the /father >mother> children in that order, as headof household you will want to come first>and your wife should put you first. Before I had a child dating single mothers that put their kids first tended never to work. However your son should always have your full support but in a family structure there needs to be balance between everything. If you're a single dad definitely put your son first, but if you're getting a wife that will balance things out, but generally your spouse comes before the children and that partnership is 1, which passes directly to your child. Keyword (WIFE) not girlfriend but I definitely understand your grind and it's inspiring to see another guy doing it,,,,, side note it's interesting how women are responding to this when they do this all the time.
Thank you for the insight. I dont have children of my own and have helped raise a few and understand that time with your children is irreplaceable. It really does take a special person to be with anyone who has children. Understanding the process of how a single person dates or how it can be a slow moving process has been helpful. Take care fine King!
It’s awesome that he has analyzed his situation to this level of detail. Children should come first… but once you consider marriage with someone else, then boundaries have to be set to ensure that nobody is neglected. A neglected child is not good. A neglected spouse is not good either and they don’t have to stay in a situation where their needs aren’t met. Such is life. An understanding has to be reached at that point. Everybody has to feel valued or there will be drama.
My cousin is having MAJOR drama right now because he prioritized his life around his boys and his wife (married when they were 6) learned to be independent. The boys are grown now and he is struggling to fit into his wife’s life. Kids are grown and moved on; now it’s just the two of them and it’s almost like they don’t know each other. Kinda like she was forced to prioritize herself for so many years and now there’s no bond. Probably too late for them. Maybe counseling is in their future.
As for dating, I don’t think anybody would ‘like’ dates being cancelled consistently. Single parents don’t like that either, lol. Nobody wants to hear ‘anytime I have an opportunity to spend with him, I will choose that over spending time with you… every single time’ from their significant other. The very next thought in the listeners head is: why am I in this relationship then?
It’s a balancing act. Some people are worth it.
I understand. Single father to a 18 16 yrs old girls. Got married she abandoned the marriage and now I got 7yr son and 5 yrs old daughter.. I'm in early 40s now.. but my kids come 1st...this twice for me.. and I 💯 agree..
I approach my 3 boys with the same mentality. Minus the flings. Been single almost a year. Zero flings. It's just about me and my boys. Im not ready to be in a relationship and I don't want to mislead anyone. I have talked with other woman and scared them off fast cause I let them know first im not ready for a relationship yet. In time yes but for now I gotta focus on me and my young men. Im not ready to compromise anything with them.
Where is the child's mother?
Nobody would date you. Ew ew ew!!!
I went on a date once (just one ☝🏽) with a single father of two girls. Not only did He show up a half hour late after communicating that he would be 10 minutes late, but he proceeded to sit down and dominate the conversation with him bragging about what a good father, he is. How his daughters come first in his life, and every other little thing he could tell me about him being a “good man, and great father”. As I sat there, nodding and giving my verbal “MmmmmHmmm, Right , right , right, Alright’s”…….. I felt like I was just being talked AT! He never once asked me a single question about myself. Did not ask how I was doing, did not ask what my background is, did not ask what I was looking for, he really could’ve been speaking to a camera, and not a person. I felt like I wasn’t even there to be honest🤷🏽♀️.then, at the end of the date, dude had the nerve to try and walk me back to my car and Tried to kiss me on the mouth!!!!!!! ( which I swerved!) And had the Audacity to say “ I really want to see you AGAIN “!!! Boy ……. Goodbye …… forever!!! This man really think they’re doing something by being a parent! Women have been parenting, by themselves,(even while married), holding down, full-time jobs, friendships, familiar relationships, taking care of household, paying bills, and you name any damn thing else. Oh wow, being a “parent “! Y’all need to learn what balance means and having healthy boundaries mean… even when it comes to being a parent!
It’s too risky to find him a step mama who loves him an wants to get to know him an spend time with your kids too; especially if we falling in love! Ion know women definitely need to take some advice about bringing people around they kids too soon from the dads but after so long if I’m missing out on things an time with you I could also be involved in ima have to break up
Best video from a single father and son 🙏🏻
I will say this.. you can't get love and affection from your child, that you would get from a woman.... when your gets 10 , your gonna need that attention from a woman.
Which is exactly why I made my mind up 4 years ago that if I had to forego that type of love and affection from a woman for the sake of my son's well-being until he was older, then I was fully ready to accept being one "lonely" guy. This is why I emphasis PRIORITY.
@@Viewturistic I would add to that maybe Just cut out the flings too, so you dont impregnate some poor soul and so they dont get feelings for you, which can happen more with women in friends with benefits, so I hear than with men, potentially that woman becomes a low priority or no priority woman in your life also, and another kid in a broken situation!
hello very informative video and your son is absolutely adorable.😊 I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and he is trying to get custody of his son, I believe he will be successful. Although I'm very happy for him and support what he's doing I have concerns about our relationship. In the past he has missed out on spending holidays and special occasions with me (like Valentine's day) because he had to fly out of state to see his son or he had to fly his son out to see him. Even though not spending time with him on special occasions has made me sad I try to be very understanding. When his son gets here he wants to be a very hands-on parent and spend a lot of time with him. I'm concerned about seeing him way less than I already do. I've expressed this to him on a couple of occasions and he keeps on writing me off and saying that other people do it so we can do it and that not much is going to change and in my mind everything is going to change. When he says this I feel like my emotions are invalid. Am I making too big a deal about this change that I think is going to totally alter our relationship? What affects do you think this will have on an already established relationship?
Hi there!
Thank you for tuning into to our video, and sharing your story. I think you raise a very legitimate concern, and your emotions definitely shouldn't be invalid. I can see how dating a man who is very involved in his kids life could potentially raise some concerns on your end about how it will impact your relationship. However, there isn't much, if anything that trumps the feeling of a dad spending time with his kids. While your feelings absolutely matter, it might take a bit of reassessing on your end to see it from a different perspective, and understand that the priority of his kids doesn't necessarily devalue your importance in his life. It just means that you might have to get a bit more creative with how your quality time is spent so that you don't feel like you're being pushed to the side. If he gets custody of his kid, then taking some time for the two of you to discuss some planned time together to ensure that even with most of his attention going to the kid, it won't leave you feeling left out. I hope this helps. As I hope you saw in the video, I am always available for conversation via text as well if you'd like to expand on this conversation. Wishing the best for you and your boyfriend, and his kid!!
I was in the same boat, but in the end he just could not give me the time or affection I needed. Your feelings are important and valid, and if you feel like things aren't going to change, its time for you to make some serious decisions.
@ Shopaholic 1496 Sweety leave him, he will never understand.....you will always be an outsider, and last, sorry for the essay below: I wrote it on another post but have a look at all the downsides I wrote on dating a single parent as a childfree person, its veryyy long but have a look hugs xx
Ps fathers who dont make/want to make time for a relationship, should definitely stay on their own or
date a single mother who also doesnt mind seeing each other once a month/ or once a year, or once every few years etc.....And leave those who want to spend quality time together to get on with having quality, loving relationships where they also get to see each other regularly...
THOSE CHILDFREE WHO ARE DATING A SINGLE DAD/(MUM) STOP AND READ THIS LOL! Single parents should stick primarily to dating each other. And men have double standards they will try and pick up prime real estate when they have kids for example, they may have one or more baby mamas, and go after ie the childfree quality women who are good women.
But when a woman has a kid or multiple kids and the guy is childfree, I reckon for the most part they cannot be asked and will say they dont want a woman with baggage. I think if you are a maturer woman and childfree, its best to opt for a man that is also childfree, or as a second option a guy that has a child whose not young ie 16,17, 18 +IF YOU ARE IN YOUR 20s DON`T EVER DATE a guy with baggage! There are wayyyy more downsides than positives if your childfree dating a guy with baggage:
SIDEE NOTE: From the childfree guy perspective dating a woman with baggage, I think you can end up more financially broke as you have to support her when it gets serious, pay for dates, and her kids, and you could end up more likely being homeless and downgrading your living set up if you end up moving in together, and then break up, as she will consider her and her kids and if its workable - which is rightfully her choice as kids come first, however from the childfree persepctive more is stacked against you and more criteria to meet, in terms of keeping a roof over your head when you do move in together, while also potentially having to have more physically aggressive interactions with the over protective Babydad(s), who are territorial...
DISCLAIMER: there are exceptions to the rule, and scenarios that dont always happen, but from my observations/personal experience, stories from friends acquaintances,from tv, media, this happens far more than it doesnt - see below ladies
( I also dated one person with a child and never before have I felt like I was single than whilst in that relationship) this was owing not only to him being a single dad, but poor time management, which some men can be weak on, in terms of organisation, and esp when they have to juggle too many things as in your case.)
CHILDFREE PERSON DATING SINGLE PARENT DADS - (THIS APPLIES TO MUMS TOO) DISADVANTAGES see below:
1) They have less time to spend with that man and the man less time with her (less one on one quality time and these can change last minute depending on childs needs).
2) They have less flexibility
3) You are more likely to have a 3rd party in the relationship excessively if their children are younger (which although they have the right to, it may feel intrusive)
4) Unresolved feelings can resurface on both or one side (rebounding, and them wanting to try again at the perfect family)
5) If you break up and have invested time, money, energy in the kid, you break up with the child also and have no rights to see them again, your hardwork is flushed down the toilet.
6) Statistically a man with kids is liable to have less disposable income
7) The child can be rude, abusive, not like you, tell you, that you are not their mum
8) You will never share that first experience with the partner its less special, even though people say every birth is a blessing, and as special as the first thats BS, you always remember your first time for everything.
9) Parents evenings, sportdays at school, school plays, hospital/medical treatments, parental discussions in person, graduation, weddings, grandchildren, etc: you will always be the outsider looking in, with little or no rights and no title, when compared to the mother.
10) You may disapprove of certain ways the child is raised on the maternal or paternal side, your opinion, thoughts are secondary and in some case uninimportant
10a)IF THE CHILDFREE PERSON GOES ON TO HAVE A CHILD with the partner with baggage (children already) you may have to deal with jealousy on the part of the siblings especially if it does work out with the partnership, and the child has a two parent home, while the other siblings come on weekends.
10b) There is the higher than likely possibility the childfree person who goes on to have a child with their partner with children already, would favour their child more indirectly/directly, spoil them more, be biased more towards their biological child, versus the children that come for the weekend. This will be their first child after all, they will see them everyday, have complete control and say over THEIR child, and want to raise their kid different in some respects to the step children, and this may also be noticed by the step children. At christmas time it could become extremely messy, and other family holiday also as you would have step children and their family on their mothers side, then you have the children from the step mum and her family side and then you have the father with kids and his family, that wants to see everyone, and dont get me started if there are more than one baby mama....how the heck does that all work and what an absolute messssss......
11)Added responsibility, emotional support and financial burden of someone who is not yours jointly.
12) If that person broke up and also didnt get married (married in the sense of marriage as a lifelong commitment), this could mean a higher likelihood that they may not commit to you, and leave you as a single parent, unmarried and alone down the line also.
13) You will be the second woman to the mans family, to the child, to him. The mother of the child is always the most important role, therefore the first woman in his life indirectly, as if he loves his children and sees them as his everything, then the child comes first, and therefore the wellbeing, raising of the child is the most important, therefore the mother of the child is a package deal and the first in his life. (This still is the case if they hate or can`t stand each other, its just that the view of that person on a personal level is dislike etc, but they are still the first woman to him because of his kids and the important role of raising them.)
Overall: It`s not an equal partnership, it`s unfavourably imbalanced against you the childfree person having to sacrifice, compromise, understand, be patient, be left out in scenarios, take on extra extra stress, the burdens of your man and his child, and the ex. The ex could make both you and his life a living nightmare, be ratchet, bitter, jealous, insecure, bitchy, vindictive, petty......There may be some few benefits, but there are deffffffffffintely more downsides!!!
If a man is flying out of town on Valentines Day to see his son, he's really going to see the baby mama. But how did things work out? Are you still in the relationship?
Dude you need to see a therapist ASAP!
👍🏾 u speak the truth mate.. straight from the 'real' fatherhood bible
We appreciate your feedback!!
The bible says it's not good for man to be alone. That 's the reason God created eve. Also the same thing that drawed her to you was the same thing that drawed her away.
Unfortunately, a good parent go through these issues. I have 4 kids and 2 are grown and some people don't understand that things come up. Its called parenting. Its hard dating.
He’s so cute and well behaved! I feel everything you are saying. For me it sounds unappetizing tho because I have no kids. I feel like you should commit to not dating while he is young until you feel you have space for another woman as a wife. I’ve seen countless woman be selfless and not date while the children were young. Understand that if you find a wife she should come first as well as you and y’all raise the children . But that’s only for a wife.
I understand completely if your ex had you spend all your time with her when you were home and you had no time really to spend with your kids and you split up and got a real tast of how great and rewording it is to have all that time with your kid or kid's %100 been there but if you meet a good woman you got to integrate her in not choose one or the other and a good woman will understand if you got to cancel but you still got to try to make a effort #singledad #thestruggle
Being an active father is a wonderful thing. Kudos to you for bonding with your child. You will know when you are ready to seriously date again. There is no rush. I also believe that one of the best gifts you can give your child is showing him/her how to have a healthy romantic relationship. It’ll be something he/she can strive for in adulthood. There are a lot of people who did not grow up seeing a happy & healthy marriage/relationship, and unfortunately had to learn the hard way. Keep your skin thick and your heart soft. Good luck to you!
It's all about understanding. You don't have to introduce the kids until both of you are sure of each other. The woman can accommodate on a date you can cancel and have it at home
I jus became a single dad of 2 of my kids. Soul custody. It's very hard but will be worth it
This video is so long... And full of excuses.
Welcome To The Life Of A Single Mother
Yes!! Preach!! I feel the same way about my daughter. She's number 1 above all. Family, friends, dating.. when the time comes it comes but I'm doing what I have to, to make sure my baby has a good life. When they are young they need that solid foundation. She has me and that's all. Her father in and out her life. She will always have her momma if not anyone else. You have a beautiful soul! Your son is adorable 💜 you can tell he's like ok daddy let's go play.. lol
I come from a broken up. I wish I had a mother and a father. Not a full time mother and an in and out father.
Not to be mean but are you prepared to have a daughter that might resent you for putting her #1 in your life. One day she might ask "Why didn't you put Daddy as #1?"
Even if your parent treats you like a star and you are #1...coming from a broken home still sucks. Your daughter may not realize the damage until she is in her late 20's and early 30's when she is looking for love.
I don't mean to be mean, but just sharing my experience with divorce.
@ Krystal Johnson You and this guy in the video should date and put each other last and see each other once per year and it would be a match....
@@terrenmoto9559 I did... and he left us for a co-worker out of state working, after 7 mo's.. learn facts before you talk ish!! Ty.. come again
@@msa7490 I agree it would be a good match as we agree with most things... but it couldn't work. Lol! I did long distance and it never works unless one's willing to move. Unfortunately I've lost out on the love of my life bc I couldn't leave. One day it will come. But yes.. your correct... they both are very adorbs 💜💜
@@krystaljohnson1646 never mind plenty more trashy mindset men like him out there, who use women like prostitutes as they dont want to commit and only see women as good for hook ups... and plenty men out there that dont want to show their kid they can be in a committed relationship, while putting their child first... shouldnt take too long for you to find one since you have confirmed the guy in this video is your type, there's probably one in your neighbourhood....Good luck in your quest, BUT a word of advice raise your standards ....in finding what YOU call ADORABLE and at least find a single dad that ISN'T a whore like the guy in this video AND who can put his child first WHILE being committed to you...fortunately this is not my version of adorbs, my pups taught me better, my mr adorbs will be walking me down the wedding aisle and both of us will be childfree 😍😍, and the opposite of this videos principles is what we will follow, ie putting our family unit first...
How are things now that your son is a little older? He’s still young. My oldest of 3 is 13. My man is a single dad and his son is 25. How soon do you wait to introduce your child?
i really like to see dads taking responsibly to raise their kids but as far dating i really think dads should not date single women with no kids . because it is not fair to put someone as last priority in your life . or if they date they should wait until thier kids are older . i am sharing my experience i got married after dating 7 months to my husband and he had his kid was 4 . i was very young and didnt have a lot of experience i dont mind my husband put his kid first but not put me last , things went out of control part of my fault coz i didn't set limits , my step son slept in our bed since the first day after wedding for 4 years i couldn't enjoy my husband at all coz i had to wait until he sleeps and sneak around , also no hugging or kissing coz he will cry and get jealous on top of that i didnt know he had ADHD and i had to deal full time with that . also each once a while he asked why his dad divorce his mom and if he will be back to her and tells ppl i am his fake mom and etc etc also when the bio mom so selfish and leave her kid full time with the dad but she is so good at giving tips how to be good mom things are worst so i really dont recommend guys with kids to date for the sake of the woman because it is not fair . now i have my own son and still married and things slitly better but still not good , sometimes i thing what pushed me to take hard decision like that i could wait and make better choice but only God know why .
Bond is important for sure! My kids know they can come to me with any and everything because of the close bond I have built with them. Your son will grow up to be a happy, successful, and an independent man. Good job!
Finally a single parent with their priorities in the right place. These are the very reasons I don't date either.
2 years since the last comment, still I'm a single father since november 2021 when the at that time wife and mother to my child decided that her attention was needed somewhere else. And what did that make my life? 1) More money, since she is not a drain. 2) My kid is number 1 - no more having to share the attention. 3) My decisions are my own, and it all goes towards my sons happiness. No sharing since the ex wife wants her life to be without children and I want my life to be every second with my beloved offspring. So... if there is a woman out there I'm sure she has kids. I'm sure she understands no one else is vacuuming the floors, emptying the dishwasher, doing the laundry including the drying and on top of that giving the kid hugs, carries, favourite foods and spending time with him... then tough shit, you're out. If you want to share in the daily routine of making MY offspring happy you've welcome in my life. If you're a (censored) princess you can just (censored) off., My son is #1. You are #2. If you can realize that, you are welcome to my family.
Hey man I’m very glad I found your video, this resonated with me very deeply because I’ve gone through a similar “realization” in my situation. I’m so sorry to hear that you have less time with your son but I understand you’re situation seems very different in the fact both of you still wanted to be a part of his life. Keep doing you man you seem happy focusing on your son and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and you make an unbelievably good point, it seems like relationships these days are completely based around what people bring to it, this sort of selfish expectation that the other person has to make you happy. And I can not believe some of these people commenting on this video complaining about “I’m not coming behind your kid” “that’s why people hate single parents they’re always MORE IMPORTANT in their mind” I love how you just respectfully disagree with them and make them look like fools, good stuff man! I usually don’t take the time to like comment and subscribe but for you man, for sure I’ve gotta see more videos you seem to know exactly how this goes down.
Thank you for taking the time to view our video, and taking time to open up some dialogue. I read some of the comments and initially want to be offended by some of them, but then I have to take a step back and realize that taking that stuff personal would only contradict what I stand for. So instead, I do what you pointed out, and just respectfully acknowledge their stance, and continue to walk in confidence knowing that at the end of the day, as long as my son is happy, there’s no amount of negativity that could overshadow the feeling I get from knowing that he’s good.
Judt date the kids then...sigh
I think it's awesome that you put him first! Btw he is adorable 🙂🙂
I really appreciate this video. I have been dating a single father for about 3 months. To him his kids as his number one priority in his life. I don't have any kids. So far I am learning to be patient and understanding that our dating relationship will not be like other singles without kids. Any other advice you would have for a woman dating a single father?
Hi Kathy!
Thank you so much for tuning in. We are so glad that this video has allowed you to see your situation from an additional perspective. You are definitely on the right path to ensuring that you have his trust by being patient with the situation. Something changes in us as men when we have children, and the things that were once a priority have to take a bit of a backseat. Father's assume the "protector" role over their kids firs and foremost, and that means making everything we do be about our kids at the end of the day.
All situations are different, and all fathers do it differently, but if you are dating a man who is a good father, the more that you support his relationship with his kids, the more he will trust you, and the stronger your relationship will be. Trust and believe it :-) Hope this helps. Thanks again for supporting us!
Thank you so much for the feedback! It is great to understand it from a father's/man's perspective. Wish you the best with your channel. :)
i really like to see dads taking responsibly to raise their kids but as far dating i really think dads should not date single women with no kids . because it is not fair to put someone as last priority in your life . or if they date they should wait until thier kids are older . i am sharing my experience i got married after dating 7 months to my husband and he had his kid was 4 . i was very young and didnt have a lot of experience i dont mind my husband put his kid first but not put me last , things went out of control part of my fault coz i didn't set limits , my step son slept in our bed since the first day after wedding for 4 years i couldn't enjoy my husband at all coz i had to wait until he sleeps and sneak around , also no hugging or kissing coz he will cry and get jealous on top of that i didnt know he had ADHD and i had to deal full time with that . also each once a while he asked why his dad divorce his mom and if he will be back to her and tells ppl i am his fake mom and etc etc also when the bio mom so selfish and leave her kid full time with the dad but she is so good at giving tips how to be good mom things are worst so i really dont recommend guys with kids to date for the sake of the woman because it is not fair . now i have my own son and still married and things slitly better but still not good , sometimes i thing what pushed me to take hard decision like that i could wait and make better choice but only God know why
Kathy Neighbors you're selling yourself short. You should be a priority. Period!
Amazing Grace Don't dilute Kathy's mind. People should balance their time between the children and the spouse.
Proud of you brother for setting a great example!!Your doing the right thing and don’t let these single women tell you any different. Your child always comes first. Also, casual hook ups are okay. Men and women have needs and exercise then all the time. Just because you have a child doesn’t make those needs disappear. All you need to do is keep raising your kid, working out, and stacking your paper. And women will always keep coming. In the words of Gucci Mane “Miss one next 15 one coming”!!
Single dads a little delusional about being realistic about dating and relationships. Where’s the compromise ? The time ? The understanding of the woman’s needs? No sorry women will not be coming look at all the comments on here that are not impressed 😂
Do u take the child to the bathtm as well? ...seems men or women like this seem npt to be over the child mom
Be blessed I dated a single father that’s bitter and lazy and angry he has the child.
Single fathers date single mothers
Both bringing kids from others to the relationship
That’s fair and each will understand the other
This is why I no longer date single dads.
If you give love and attention to a woman that deserves it she can be a big help for you and ur kids. I m dating someone now who has kids and even though he doesnt really give me attention i still help him. We women always have this nesting feeling to children even if we never had. Men on the other hand dont really date women with kids because its too much drama for them. And its true there is a lot of drama and we women also feel neglected if the father wants to spoil their kids rotten and not even give us a kiss or a hug.
Sad Panda wtf are you doing in that situation!? Girl you deserve more..trust and believe you will come to find the truth one day. You are putting someone 1st who puts you last! Makes no sense.... get some self esteem boo. You're worth it.
grace angulo :( thank u i needed that
seriously mama..wtf? please think about this. read my comments i have left on this guys video. heck read his title for his video where it say love is not a priority!!this means the person they are with is not a priority..this means you!!! and guess what, they like that they are your priority! how fucked up is that.. alot of them wont even date another single parent because they are selfish and keep wanting the childless people because of what we can provide. they want it all and want you to accept unacceptable relationship dynamics. i can go on and on....
grace angulo my situation is very complicated unfortunately. I cant leave at the moment . I want but i can't.
Panda.....you have to leave a relationship that does not serve you. Men get their cake and eat it too all the time. But as soon as a woman wants to put herself first, we are criticized. I suggest to meditate and pray to remove yourself from that relationship. I'm praying for you, you got this!!!
As a woman and as a mother myself I respect that as well good point keep moving forward , it’s called responsibilities regardless .
why did you got her pregnant? why
Thank you for your view.
To answer your question though, I got her pregnant because I wasn’t being responsible with trusting my intuition, that I was potentially getting into a situation that I would later regret. I hold myself very accountable for that. However, I’m not sure how this question relates to me choosing to put my son first. Can you elaborate?
because you never know what a shitty mom she's gonna be to your kids until she becomes one and how ugly she will look after removing her mask soon after she gives birth
@@Viewturistic Maybe its because too many men dont think before bringing a child into the world, nor assess the future viability of a relationship enough, and then you have more and more broken homes like this, and dating dilemmas of single parents.
Nobody is perfect, but if we check ourselves, and thought things through a bit more, we would really consider before laying down unprotected with a partner, are these the traits I wont my unborn child to have when having unprotected sex, do I see a long term future with this partner. Yes things dont always go to plan, but some single parents are just a bit reckless in their decision making.(not to say non single parents cannot be also, but they dont have a little person to think about when they finally are on this planet)...I mean the fact your having flings is an example of reckless behaviour in itself, you could just as easily bring another child into this world and have a woman develop feelings for you and then are they second or not as important as your son?
Stay off the dating market and work it out with your baby mama. You have baggage.
Build bond a few years, then know how to balance schedules. Simple form.
Then don't date. If you got no goal with dating other than dating just for the sake of it. Life isnt a party. I'm a single dad and couldn't care less if I'm with someone ever again. The importance of a parent supercededs everything and everyone else in life. My kid will always be at the top of the list even were I to meet some woman one day that I were to have feelings for. You're wasting the time of others and not setting a good example. As years pass too, if you appreciate your kid being in your life, you'll realise everything else for the most part is neither here nor there. From sunrise to sunset, dad is what you are first.
much grace bro but ithnk God can give you the right woman who would love your son
you are still young God bless you