Why Do (Some) Asexuals Have Sex? (Ft. Echo Gillette & Chandler Wilson!)
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- Thank you all so much for watching, ilu ❤❤❤
Check out our collab on Chandlers channel!: • The Struggles of ASEXU...
Echos channel: / bechobirette
*I’m sorry about the sound quality!! We were filming in a hotel room, so our resources were clearly kind of limited lol. I tried to reduce the background “noise” as much as possible, and make our voices as clear as I could!! Thanks for understanding!! My apologies again!!**
Chandlers older asexuality video that we spoke about: • Asexuality and Having ...
Link to my Patreon: / aaronansuini
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Shirt Designs: aaronisaplant....
“Do I want to be with you or do I want to look like you?” LITERALLY MEEEEE AND MY ENTIRE TEENAGE LIFE
Robin Todd do i wanna be you or be on you? 😂
Elliot Glenn 😂
that’s me throughout high school 😂
daryl's world Basically 😂
Me. Every time 🤣
“I’ve been attracted to 3 people so I can’t be asexual” haha that’s exactly how I feel. Thank you for making videos like this about asexuality and aromanticism. Every time I watch one like this I feel way better about myself. I think I always harbor a lot of guilt about being aro/ace worrying my partners will take things personally or that I’ll do things that I enjoy that could be considered “romantic” like calling them beautiful or doing nonsexual intimate things and assume I feel strong romantic feelings.
I really discarded being asexual when i was 17 because i found a fictional animw character attractive. Just to find out 10 years later i am indeed ace, kinda fitting with the aegosexual microlabel. I felt ao dumb 🤦🏼♀️
Something my friends and coworkers don't understand is that I don't "get" strip clubs....like...ok so it's a "naked" person...what's your point?
jnerosfire Mood af
Strip clubs are the worse like naked girls grind on your jeans like you gonna get a rug burn!!!
A waste of money those and casinos. You mine as well throw your money in the trash!
I have been told by strippers that a large portion of their client base are socially awkward people who just want someone to interact with them.
On the other hand the one strip club I went to the dancers outfits were mismatched and it was very annoying.
I could get it if the dancers are like really good at pole dance because those aerial acrobatics are impresive. But that is it.
Also, funny story, so " polvo" ( dust) in spanish is slang for sex. The other day my nose was stuffy because i had been cleaning and i am allergic to dust, so my father said that i looked like i had a cold, and i said that no, it was my dust allergies, and he said jokingly " what a problem being allergic to " polvo" since so young", he doesn't know i'm ace, so i just started to laugh and said " it is more funny if you knew what i know" and left it there.
This video feels really validating for me as ace spectrum. Like hearing you guys talk about how truly complicated all the mechanisms and feelings are reminds me its because its complex and not because I'm "faking" being ace. Thanks for the video
this was so validating. thank you all
Thanks...i'm in a relation for 15 years with a asexual person. We struggle a lot. Because it was confusing for me. In my heart i felt she loved me but is did't feel it. She couldn't really explain like you do. This is really helpful...for me toch understand her.
Omg, what i wish my bf did
I am Asexual and married to a non- Asexual person. What helps the relationship for me is to pick random calendar days that I devote towards being Sexually Intimate with my partner. My partner never sees the calendar therefore if I am feeling too anxious on one of those days, There's no need to feel pressured, I simply choose a different day or show my love a different way.
i love every video about asexuality, but like this one in particular, especially since it was like related back to like being trans and body dysphoria as well as like weird communication and romance stuff, like i really really really vibed with this video, so thank you for making it! also, i must say that you're just like pumping out videos and quality content lately and i am a happy consumer and a proud supporter~
My whole life I never understood the actual meaning of “sexual attraction” like I was like yeah people are attractive but like that doesn’t mean I want to have sex with them
THE ACE TRIAD
Ah yes, finally! Someone who understands liking back/head scratches rather than massages. Good shit 👌
Ahhh yes the “do I want to be you or f you?” Soooooo meeeeeee
You don't have to be hungry to eat.
I remember talking to one of my classmates and we’re not very close friends, just everyone in the class is super friendly with each other without needing to be involved in everyone’s personal life. It’s a very fun community with practically no drama whatsoever.
But I was talking to my classmate and she brought my bf up, just asking what he’s like, what does he do, etc and the subject of sex came up and after I told her “Oh, we don’t really bother with that, we just prefer each other’s company.” So I wouldn’t have to use the label Asexual. But she was the one who brought it up, asking “I mean this is the friendliest way possible, would you call yourself asexual?” And I thought that was really sweet of her and really made me feel comfortable with myself. I don’t understand it, but there was never a bigger need in my life you exclaim YESSS
I'm asexual and on the aromantic spectrum like Chandler. I rarely experience romantic attraction and am often romance repulsed. When people are cuddly with me I don't really respond to it in the "appropriate" way. I don't hate it, but it is a very concious thing when it's happening and I'm just like "this is weird, but sure, I guess" Does anyone else feel this way too?
C Helms ABSOLUTELY. back when i actively dated it always felt like i was in a play where everyone else seemed to know the lines
Literally all the time always
That’s just being awkward. I feel that way too. But with my gf I actually finally found one person I genuinely enjoy cuddling with. It’s not uncomfortable. It’s just when you get used to someone who is right for you and you can be totally open with to the point where your awkwardness is not a problem and you can work through it.
YES
@@MingusTale love that, mingus. I agree.
“there are dishes to do, i have to vacuum”
that is literally me
" if this last too much longer we won't have time to watch that movie we planned"
Good to see you back Chandler! We miss you 💚
Great topic, feeling unworthy is a bad cycle to be stuck in, currently trying to break out of it!
hihellohi it me, and frens
Aaron I love you 😂 so random, so relatable
Mood about shoulder/back touching in general, I automatically shrug out of those kinds of touches without even thinking about it. I've looked back on what I thought were childhood "crushes" and realized that most of them were more along the lines of "I want to be you" rather than "I want to be with you" and as an ace trans person I never realized it at the time. Loved this discussion so much ❤
I love this, thank you so much. I'm bi and greysexual, and my sexuality is on a spectrum: some days I want it, some days I can't wrap my mind around it, and some days I'm repulsed by it. And I only accepted my asexuality recently anyway, so I'm slowly becoming comfortable with the idea that I don't always want sex, and that doesn't make me defective. Especially since when I'm in the mood for sex I prefer sex of a kinkier variety. And this helped me to get the two aspects of myself to jell in my mind.
Fuck.. did I just realized I'm might be ace? How didn't I see it earlier! Thanks!
Same oml
Yeah I'm sex repulsed. So, wanting to have sex is actually a deal breaker for me. I have Aspergers Syndrome I don't even like to be touched. My parents aren't even alowed to touch me unless I'm going to die if they don't. My doctor can but it's still extremely uncomfortable.
Right when I start to think I'm not actually ace, I watch something like this and I'm like nvm
This video had the most perfect timing and has been very confirming for a lot of the thoughts I've been experiencing lately. I've been questioning for a while if I'm asexual (amongst other identities) and it's been really difficult for me to isolate the concept of no sexual attraction (especially if I can't understand it in the first place). I find comfort in the similarities between me and others on the ace spectrum rather than a singular "missing piece". It's as if I'm gathering all these different puzzle pieces of my identity to make a conplete picture of myself rather than looking and seeing a hole that should be filled.
You people make me so.. Comfortable! Thnx for doing this content!
9:03 Echo's story is soooo relatable! I mean I've been attracted to three people in my life so cleeeeeaarrly I'm not asexual *squints in ace*
Thank you so much for talking about this !! I was excited to see this video in my sub box.I related to so many things in this video and since I found out recently that I fall on the ace spectrum it’s been hard to comes to terms with it with the world we live in and stuff I’ve been throu but seeing this makes me feel a bit better.Like I’m not alone in what I experience and feel.
Unspoken Voices you are NEVER alone in this world, no matter how alone you may feel. I am so proud of you!
Wow, this has been such a validating video for me! Thank you for posting this and having open conversations about asexuality - I'm 28 and literally, this year figured out that I'm asexual - I honestly have just thought that I was "frigid" which I've been called before or just "not ready" but like - literally 28! I also was in a relationship with a guy and went out to buy some sexy lingerie (because I basically thought that I had to have sex and it was inevitable) and then the day I wore it we went out for a cute date night and when we got home and the night was drawing in and the sex time looked like it was on it's way I literally panicked and fake fell asleep and then he woke me up and I just said I felt really sick and didn't wanna do anything. He ended up sleeping with some other girl so relationship over but even then I didn't realise that I was Asexual and now I kinda feel like I should look him up and let him know because maybe I made him feel bad about himself! Sorry essay over - but thanks guys, gals and non binary pals for helping me understand more about asexuality!
This is cool, I'm subscribed to Echo for art stuff and wasn't expecting to see her over here, though I did see her recent video about being asexual. I'll have to check out Chandler's channel, too. :)
I feel like I understand more about asexuality after having watched this video. Some of the things you all said kind of resonated with me, though if I'm on the ace spectrum, it's toward the end that's closer to allosexual. But it's nice to feel like it's ok to sometimes have feelings like these and that other people have them too. Thank you so much for making this video!
I love your videos Aaron. On Instagram I'm Fey Domme. Love you and Chase and all your friends from all the channels like "you're so brave" podcast. Thank you for talking about asexuality. Im a cis woman but always thought I was bisexual (pan)because I can experience romantic attraction to many genders but I've only felt physical attraction to 3 people in my life and it was only if I was in love with them. People always said all my life that they had physical sexual arousal to people even if they didn't know them and that had never happened to me. I thought I was broken and I didn't enjoy sex for many years. Only while with my current partner was I able to determine that I was demisexual. All the info you share that has added to what ive read has helped me become more comfortable with my sexuality ☺️~Fey
This makes me feel less alone. Thank you 💖
You guys are doing such a great job of putting people at ease. Love it and can relate to quite a bit of this.🙂
Chandler's little smile/turn away/hide in hands thing is so adorable.
Also, I just really love this video as someone on the ace spectrum.
I learned so much from this video particularly why asexual people can have sex. That concept confused me to be honest. I have a number of close friends who are asexual; it's very helpful to learn more about asexuality and the diversity of the asexuality spectrum. :)
thank you for the education! y'all are such beautiful humans. also, that drawing-on-each-other thing is so lovely, i might have squealed a little ❤
This was so good. All so relatable n I love that u talked about non sexual intimacy as well
it's funny to me that you all have that in common, for me (also an ace), i'm like a super touchy person with ppl i feel comfortable with, i love holding hands or ppl touching my skin idk i feel thirsty of it jsdjsdj
Thanks for this topic as I think most people feel or think that if you're asexual you don't want sex at all you're just a non-sexual person. So thanks for filling that out a little bit. It also would seem to me that to be a partner of an asexual person would be kind of high maintenance always making sure that they're not feeling overwhelmed or over-stimulated etc etc. It just seems like it would be hard on the partner if they were not asexual and they were just had a let's say normal sexual appetite and they did feel desire and romance.
Is that a Bolthouse Farms vanilla chai tea I spy in the background because if so that is one of my favorite drinks ever.
Yes god they are so GOOD
I know right? I love them so much. I also like the chocolate protein one and the coffee one a lot too.
SincerelySadako gotta love that sweet soy jouice
This dialogue actually really helped me with my self-discovery and self-awareness. I have no idea what sexual attraction feels like, although my partner is cis-male and finds me very sexually attractive. We have often had struggles with that. I also convinced myself that I could not be asexual because I am not sexually repulsed. We do have sex, sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I am neutral. Thanks for helping me by sharing your experiences! I really value your vulnerability!
Love you dude!
❤️💛💚💙💜
Happy you talked about this!
Omg I don't think I've ever found a video that so accurately relates to my experiences AND teaches me some new things.
Thank you, this was great, good job, love it
That feeling of worrying whether or not nonsexual touch will lead to sexual pressure from your partner can be a very normal experience with any sexuality.
Okay just watching this was validating experience after validating experience thank you so much this made me feel so so good. ( I'm an asexual person in a wonderful relationship with an allosexual person)
This is cool and validating. I often struggle with having romantic attraction vs sexual attraction to people. Like I might get butterflies in my stomach over a burning in my loins.
How am I just now finding this group of beautiful people ?!?!?!?
Subscribing
I'm asexual on the sex-negative end of the +/- spectrum, in a relationship with an allosexual. I do struggle with the feeling I am holding back/torturing them but we are working through it, but sensuality is definitely a way of meeting in the middle of those intense romantic feelings.
this video was so sweet and validating! :3
I think allox would also have something to learn from aces like y'all when it comes to expressing affection and building (emotional) intimacy, and not always needing to have it go together with sex. just..
This was amazing!
Thank you so so much for making this, you have no idea how incredibly helpful this was for me I nearly cried
As a kid I had “crushes” by I realized it was just a me wanting to be around/ actually be the person. You have a good singing voice? Wow, that’s a really good talent I wish I had and I’ll talk to my family about a lot, and because you’re a guy people will label it as a crush.
Wow, your a really cool person with a great sense of humour, and I can’t stop wishing I was in the general vicinity and that we were having a conversation. When I say something like this to my dear mother, she then thinks I’m lesbian and not just a socially inept person.
This vid is soooo good! I'm a sexual person or i'm not. I think it's related to my bipolar. Like one day i'm completely touch adverse and the next all i want to do is cuddle all day with my partner. Not asexual but could relate to how mental health/disability can affect wanting to be touched or not
I glad I'm not the only one who gets weird feeling when being touch. Thank for the video.
Wow this was a great video! There are so many videos where people define asexuality, but there aren't enough talking about the asexual perspective. So thank you!
Thank you so much! This was SUPER helpful for me. And I am now interested in learning about A-romantic.
I learned so so much from this. Thank you all!
Interesting video Aaron. Love you buddy!!!! ❤️
I've followed Chandler for a couple years now and I'm still so shook by how deep their voice has gotten! It sounds awesome
i’ve always struggled with calling myself ace because even though i’m not attracted to anyone sexually, i still “act” allo as in i do it a lot, want it and can “keep up” with an allo partner and ask for it too. i haven’t heard any talk about my kind of asexual so i don’t even know if there’s a name for it?
There is a name for that; cupiosexual! It describes an asexual person who still desires sexual relationships
Claire McKinley thank you!! ill look more into it!!
Really informative. Cheers to all of you
I am so happy I found his video because there was so much in here that I was relating to. I came here hoping you wouldn't say things like masturbation and not liking being touched in certain ways and being afraid that things will lead to sex would mean I wasn't asexual. Cause then I'd just this i was broken. So thanks you. And I've learned a lot I didn't know certain things about you guys and to Echo, I'm not sure it will mean much but having been subscribed to you for a while and looking up to you as an artist and aspiring to improve my art it felt so awesome to see that someone I looked up to was just like me. Cause I'd never seen an asexual RUclipsr let alone meet an asexual person in real life so it made me happy I guess idk. Just thank you to all of you for this and for all your content. I'm definetly gonna subscribe to the person on the left (I'm sorry I forgot your name) cause I'd love to see more of your content. Thank you again. Bye
Oh god, what Echo said about non-sexual displays of affection and being unsure if the other person is trying to take it further! I feel that 100 %! Thank you!
I was in a comitted relationship with a very sexual allosexual person for 4 years and only realized I was ace towards the end of the relationship, so communication wasnt great. I had so much internalized aphobia and like that whole mindset of “am I being a bad/mean partner for saying no three weeks in a row?” So it let to a whole lot of unwanted sexual touching, to a point where I used to cry during intercourse and got physically ill from it.
We broke up two years ago, but I still get that fear whenever someone touches me like “are they trying to get in my pants?” Ive become more comfortable with my friends and family touching me, but sometimes I still get nervous
All of you are so cute Imma cry
I’ve been in a relationship and they’ve been close to me and I’d worry am I not being enough for them. We never did anything and I felt (and still) feel bad.
this made me feel so validated omg
This is such a good video! It clears up so many misconceptions, very well made 👏👏
I'm more curious as to the inclusion or exclusion of demisexuality in the ace spectrum. I would consider myself somewhere between demisexual and asexual, often preferring to say demisexual since the stigma against asexual peoples with those around me. What're your opinions, folks?
I'd say demisexual ppl belong on the ace spectrum because it makes sense to me. BUt because I'm not an authority on other people's identities and labels I'd say it's up to every demisexual person to decide for themselves.
i am also demisexual, i literally only feel sexual attraction towards my partner which is a really rare experience. (it also makes the relationship a bit easier like Echo said). But in general towards other persons there is none, and I personally experience weird things like not directly getting attraction or just stuff which is not relatable so therefore I would consider us asexual
I think Echo brings up a good point around the 5 minute mark that can relate well to this question. To paraphrase, she essentially states that it [masturbation] can just be more of a physical thing that's not necessarily related to your sexuality. IMO, that can be made even more general to highlight that sexual desire / libido (or lack thereof) might not match how you experience sexual attraction. In my personal experience as a demisexual, even though the libido exists and I am interested in the more physical/pleasurable aspects of sex (unlike many aces), I still very rarely experience sexual attraction toward specific people. No matter how attractive I find someone (read: more "aesthetically" pleasing or cute, not sexually) and how much I might want to have sex in that given moment, I just don't feel any attraction to hat person unless we've already formed a strong emotional connection. There still exists a distinct lack of *sexual* attraction that is central to the definition of what it means to be ace, and as such demisexuals should be allowed to identify as ace if they so choose.
And in many ways like other aces, I've known the feeling of thinking I'm somehow broken or just don't get it only because I experience sexual attraction far less frequently than "normal". But It's not as if feeling sexual attraction at some point in your life suddenly invalidates the many more experiences you share in common with aces
I feel like Demi sexual season do fall under the ace umbrella but would be more specifically found on the gray asexual spectrum
wow this is so reaffirming! thank you for making this
This is so great!! I’m not asexual but I do perfectly understand where y’all are coming from. I do have some asexual feelings sometimes but I’m more sexual really. Y’all did great explaining this. Love you all 💙💜❤️
very helpful and interesting video! You are doing a great job, Aaron!!
This is a really good video. I undertand Asexuals alot more now because before I didn't get it, thanks.
THANK YOU ALL for more education on your prefs and how to connect with you on more than one level. I HATE that M+F=sex, I've always hated that equation. I have a cis male bf who truly doesn't care about binary, but HATES m+m (GAY) and don't know how to connect with him since he seems to be asexual. I'm so confused by his turn-on's but this really goes deeper than anything I've thought about before.
First off, I want to point out that you all have wonderful smiles. Secondly, I really love this video. I recently found out that one of my friends, who I have had a crush on, is asexual. This video, along with the one on Chandler's website, have given me a good amount of insight into the mind and relationships of people on the spectrum of asexuality. When I had found out that he was ace, I fretted and feared, seeing that society, especially American society, has put so much emphasis on sex. Your videos have made me so much more relaxed. But, these videos have made me wonder a few things. (Sorry in advance, I just want as much knowledge as possible. I also know that not everyone is made or thinks the same way, so if you are unable to and or don't wish to respond, that is entirely ok.)
1. How do you experience attraction? Seeing that it is more on the romantic side of attraction, (please correct me if I am wrong, or oversimplifying things, trust me I do not want to offend) do you need to know someone for a while before you feel that attraction?
2. Is there any different way that someone would, could, or should ask someone who is asexual whether or not they felt attraction or feelings for another person? (Although I have told my crush that I like him, I am too afraid to ask him about any feelings he may have had for me. I don't know if I might say something that might upset him)
3. For sensual, but not entirely sexual things, would cuddling or hugging fit in?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and I hope that you have a wonderful day.
I love these videos because I toy around the idea of being ace a lot.... I just don’t know! I’ve been thinking about it for years, and it doesn’t help that I’ve never been in a serious relationship, but hearing different viewpoints really helps me to figure myself out a little bit!
I’ve been feeling exactly like this for the last couple months and I can’t tell if acknowledging some past trauma is affecting my sexuality or if realizing I’m non-binary suddenly threw me onto the ace spectrum or into abrosexuality. Every time I think about sex or romance I suddenly remember all of the toxically masc men I dated while I was still playing the role of a hyper feminine woman and I feel kinda triggered and repulsed by sex when those memories pop up. I don’t have very much sexual experience outside of hyper masculine men who like, unconsciously tried to fuck the masculinity out of me because their’s was so fragile and threatened by my masculine and/or androgynous displays. I dunno. Sorry if that sounds weird, but I’ve just been so confused lately and also have been acknowledging some past sexual trauma.
I really liked the intro it was super cute love you Aaron 😝
Gray Lopez kpop ✋ sry I know it's annoying but ye
For me, sexual stuff (out of a relationship) is a way of meditation and a nice haptic experience.
In my last relationship (and only one with sexual contact but extremely confusing about attraction tips, but i never want to see him without clothes than everyone get ugly) it mostly felt bad and cold. He taught me how my body works this way, and that I need more than typical short sex to get out of it happy. Most I did because he told me to and it was unhealthy.
I love this so much, thank you! 💙
Chandler is one of my fave ace RUclipsrs. Along with Aaron.
I consider myself a sex neutral ace. Like I don't hate it when I'm in the act but I don't feel the urge to actively seek it out. The thought of sex just never really pops into my head.
This has been a large issue in all of my past relationships, especially when I was with people who were used to the other person initiating things.
I've recently decided to get back into the dating scene and I'm honestly looking forward to being completely honest with myself and my future partner from this point on.
lmao me. I'm 21. Am realizing just how ace I am.
this is such a good conversation! 💛
Navigating sexuality with a disability is hard! I have a neurological disability and so I'm always confused about what the things I can and can't feel add up to. asexual? Allosexual but with f*cked up nerves? No idea. And that's an extremely oversimplified version of my situation. Also! With the exception of hairdressers and doctors, VERY few people can touch my head. Having my head touched by my mom is soothing; my ex partner touching my head was either soothing or stimulating in a good way. And that's about it. I respond to anyone else touching my head by at the very least flinching, at most fleeing and crying.
Omg I’m exactly like that, drawing on skin, cuddles, hair playing, for partners, kissing and stuff, like that stuffs not sexual for me
This is lovely
Love you guys! I relate to this video a lot.
At 3:33 I feel like this clip was supposed to be at the beginning 😋 great video though. A topic that needs more conversation!!
Omg THANK YOU
I literally LOST THAT CLIP in the video and was like “well... I guess I deleted it?”
I fixed it lmao it should be updated soon in the video!
Aaron Ansuini glad to be of help 😂
“Do I like you or wanna look like you” ME.
Thanks for the video. I am in a relationship with a sexual person and it is consistently hard to find the balance. But we both work to try and figure out what works. Such a great discussion here :)
HEY I HAVE AUTISM TOO SORRY I'M SCREAMING
SEVERAL POINTS WERE MADE!!!
This really helped me figure out who I am. Thank you
I’ve been thinking lately that maybe I really am on the ace spectrum because I really just don’t feel sexually attracted to real people - like tv or book characters, yeah maybe but never a real life person and I think the attraction to fictional characters is really just some more internalized phobia (acephobia I guess?) because being sexually attracted/ active is such an ingrained thing in my head like if I’m romantically interested in a person someone always asks if I think they’re sexy or something and I usually just laugh and say yeah but I’m always thinking ehhhhhh not really but their sense of humor is awesome and it never really clicked in my head that being on the ace spectrum was really a thing for me. Now that I have been thinking about it I think im probably gray sexual pan romantic and what echo said about the nerve endings thing really hit me so yeah this is ridiculously long but thank you guys so much for making this video I feel like I understand all of it a lot better and feel better about myself now
Thank you so much! I`m not sure if i´m ace or what, but i´m a little bit of all this things you talked about. I´m exited what my not-Ace-Boyfriend is going to say about all of that.
okay felt the occasionally romance repulsed thing. in a previous relationship ive had i definitely felt the "okay i love you but stop touching me i dont want to be all lovey rn"
I’m screeching, chandler at 16:35 lmao I see u
I really related to Chandler's comments on aromantic attraction, in terms of it fluctuating, and I've never really been able to verbalize it so well. Now that I have words for it, I don't really know how to broach it with my partner, we have very open communication, and I know I should and can tell them, but I don't know how to make it seem like it's to do with them, or make them feel like they're getting too annoying or something.
4:32 Chandler is looking so cute 😄💜
I'm a asexual sensual person who loves when a partner draws on my body to me it feels amazing. Its a really awesome way for me to contact to a partner. As I don't have sexual attraction or libido. And I'm someone who doesn't want sex.
I didn’t realize I was greysexual until a year or so ago. Even though I have never been attracted to someone I had never met or spoke to, the times when I have felt sexual attraction were enough that I didn’t question it when I was younger.
This was so fantastic thank you!! I have so many questions I don't know where to start. I have been questioning if I'm asexual and in a relationship where its becoming an issue because she isn't. She isn't understanding where I'm coming from and thinks its her and also that she can't be in a sexless relationship she said. I've already been compromising on that even though it leaves me feeling bad. I don't know what to do