I explained asexuality to my mom and now we both identify as ace, it was such a breath of relief for both of us to realize 'we're not alone, we're not weird, and we as family can support eachother.'
@no homo She did it because she was in an abusive relationship and it was one of the ways he controlled her. ;-; I only found this out a few months ago, I feel really bad that it happened like it did.
I'm going to infodump now. So hi! You'd like a black ring? Cool n_n (Don't want one, scroll below) I've worn some over the years and this is what I've found. Haematite: Don't drop it. It will shatter. Feels nice tho. Good weight Tungsten carbide: The most durable. Heavy. Glossiness depends on the finish. Best for everyday wear. Ceramic: Usually looks most impressive, but tends to wear down a lot. Best for formal. Rubber: Cheapest and least restrictive to wear, but doesn't breathe well. Will wear down. Titanium: tends to be coated and the colour will wear off. but is good if you want to switch out rings every once in a while Cheapest place to buy is aliexpress. At least so far in my experience. Search for 'black ring' and add material. You don't like to wear a ring? Consider wearing it on a chain around you neck Could tattoo it on if that's your thing. Pins and badges are an option. So are bracelets as mentioned in this vid. The ring is a symbol for you to remember that you're not alone. It is not some sort of a test to be included. Not wearing the ring won't make you any less of an ace. Only you can decide your sexuality. Only you can know how you experience sexual attraction. You say you're ace? Congrats, you ace. That is literally it. Some gatekeeping asshole trying to tell you that you are not ace because X, Y or Z... never mind them. Are they ace? If they think so, yeah. But their own aceness is the only one they get to decide on. Now go be good to yourself and each other
As an addendum to this awesome comment I would 100% recommend a Tungsten Carbide ring. They can be really affordable if you buy them on eBay etc. To combat the weight problem I would suggest purchasing the 4mm ring, it’s smaller but a much more manageable weight than the 6mm (so heavy). Now that I own a 4mm ring I wear it every day.
@@DhampirParadox stainless steel too, mens rings often have the deck of cards and I'm a girl but prefer mens rings for everyday, I am not ace but thought I'd put.mh two cents in
i genuinely broke down crying after watching this. I went through a breakup recently when i came out to my girlfriend as asexual. this video made me feel so much better about myself thank you.
this makes ME tear up. go you on coming out as asexual, even if it meant going through a breakup. you are valid in every way shape or form, and there are thousands upon thousands of other asexuals who feel both the same and differently to you and you are not alone. you are loved and valid.
I was like that, when i opened up to my mom being asexual. Luckily, the conversation went well, and she doesn't look at me any different. But you and I have that in common. Finding a relationship is hard, especially when you come out and tell your partner that your an Ace. Everyday i tell myself, if i'll be able to find the right person for me? Will he acknowledge me for who i am? When it came to relationships, i don't mind hugs and kisses, but i feel like something was off, and why do I feel insecure, or seem to have a mixture of emotions, like shy, insecurity, or just awkward, i mean we talk and have a normal conversation but idk why i feel like this to every guy. But, now the crushes or exes that ive had in the past are all taken, ive learn to accept myself for who i am as an individual, and i learn that i don't need a guy to be happy. If they can't see the real you, then they're not worth it.
This comment's a year old, but I'm really sorry that happened. You'll find someone who will accept you for who you are, and your sexuality. Sorry, this comment is really stupid, and probably doesn't make any sense.
I recently started to identity as Asexual and for Christmas my boyfriend bought me a pin that is in the Ace colors and one of my co-workers that I have gotten close with made me a sticker with the Ace colors on it. These things hit me rather hard because I have never really seen any Ace stuff either. I would love to wear the pin around and have it with me at all times but since I'm only 15, almost 16, and my parents aren't very accepting of me being trans it's hard to even tell them I'm Ace as well because every time I explain Asexuality and it's spectrum they think it's weird or "bullshit" because of how difference it is for different people. And I do feel broken a lot because of it and because of how I don't like any things teens these days like. For example I'd rather stay inside and cosplay instead of drink and smoke. I feel really abnormal and not to many people talk about Asexuality so I feel better when I hear you talking about it. So thank you.
Good luck with your parents! I saw myself in your comment so much, and this already made me feel less “unnormal” thank you😊 I wish someday everyone knows and respect asexuality, and enjoy time without sex & drugs
The ring that I have on my right middle finger is actually a stainless steel heart ring that my biological grandfather made for my grandmother and she gave to me. I know it's not the black ring, but to me I enjoy it and it helps me remember who I am as well as remember my grandfather because I never really got to meet him I only met him once when I was 2 years old.
STORY TIME: I told my husband last night that I had been looking into Ace stuff because ... we've been married 2 years and his need for sex kind of clashing with my indifference or even fear of it has been a point of conflict. He is sometimes very insecure about the fact that I very, very rarely initiate with him, and struggles with the fear that I don't find him sexually attractive. And I went through a lot of troubleshooting in the past two years. Maybe it was my birthcontrol, so I changed birth control. Maybe it had to do with my history with sexual assault, so I took steps for closure with that. Maybe if I made a conscious effort to meet a specific arbitrary quota of 3 times a week, I would start to crave it, because I like routine and I enjoy fulfilling his needs. And I still spend a lot of time feeling inadequate and in physical pain because sex is only enjoyable to me for about 8-15 minutes at a time. Then I found out my friend's husband is ace, and their marriage looks pretty stable, so maybe it IS possible to be happily married and not crave sex. Anyway, that's what led me to type "Ace" into youtube. And find out that it's completely possible to be romantically or even sensually attracted to someone *without* being sexually attracted to them. That libido and sexual attraction aren't the same thing, that *none* of these things are one thing. I have always believed there can't be love without trust, so even though I was worried Aaron might misinterpret what I was saying, that I might hurt his feelings, I told him what I had learned and that I think I might fall somewhere on that spectrum, and after a slightly confused, "Are you sure?" because he thought ace was some variety of bisexual, and I'm definitely not that, lol, he was very supportive and understanding. Just held me and pressed kisses to my forehead while I explained. If you've stuck with me this far and you're willing to risk a toothache from all of the sweet ---- I think he really enjoyed my example story of when we were still dating back in GA, and I was curled up in a patch of sunshine with my head in his lap thinking about how I would very much like to be his pet cat. Just, you know, disappear for eight hours a day to hunt down dinner, come home, and sit in the last of the afternoon sun making biscuits on his leg while he petted me. That's the dream.
alright, let me spill my heart out. I'm 14 but figured out I was/am asexual when I was 11 or 12. Everyone else was so interested in relationships and I just wasn't. well, not in the same way. I noticed I thought girls were pretty in the same way I thought boys were. I started doing research -and watching Thomas Sanders (he was a big part in accepting myself) - and I finally learned about other genders and such and I stumbled on Asexual Panromantic. long story short; a year after that I got an Ace ring (I keep it on my left hand because I'm an artist and it got in the way lol) and I've kept it on since. thank you for shedding light on this lovely community. love you
hey I'm also an ace artist and I was worried it would get in the way like normal rings do, that's actually a really smart alternative I'll probably do that as well if I get an ace ring so thanks :)
same! when I was 12 i just couldn’t relate to everyone talking about dating boys or girls. My sister said I may be asexual and 14 years old now i identify as an aromatic asexual.
Thank you. I’m 13 and I’m identifying as asexual, and every time I tell someone they say I’m too young. I hate it, because if I said “I’m straight” they’d take it... it’s great to know that I’m not the only teen who feels this way ♠️
I got a ring a couple days ago. I had a moment today in which I had an epiphany. I was concerned about being judged for being asexual. I realized that I should wear the ring as a symbol. It's a symbol of acceptance of who I am, and all the good and bad that may come with it. It was a good moment.
I also wear a black ring on the middle finger of my right hand to represent the fact that I'm asexual, to remind myself that I'm not alone and to showcase that my sexuality is valid. I never really knew the story behind it though so it was nice to learn more about it's history. I remember buying mine online and I was so happy when it came, I literally almost cried lol. I love how proud you are about your sexuality! It's really refreshing to see and it reminds other people in the ace community that they are truly not alone. Thanks for this video 💜
reptiqueen you can buy them almost anywhere like amazon or aliexpress, but I recommend going to a jewelry store to find one because you can find the right size easier
Every time I see someone with a black ring I always gasp because I'm always like "are they a fellow ace??" Personally, I wear my ace ring on my left middle finger because it sadly doesn't fit on my right one. But, I plan on saving up to get another - along with more ace and aro themed pins, rings and other bangles.
Me too except I have to wear my ring on my left ring finger. It's the only finger I can wear a ring on. But it is a great feeling when I see someone else wearing a black ring. We're not alone.
I've been wearing a hematite ring that can be found in gem shops. They usually are under $10, actually pretty sure I've picked them up for like 3 or 4 bucks. Easy to replace :) it's a nice silvery black.
I’m not out to my parents and I have no way of ordering things online without it going through my mum first so I managed to make myself a makeshift ring out of a glue gun and a black sharpie! I also made myself a badge because I can’t order one online. I can’t actually wear the badge incase my parents see it but it feels great having it!
I was in the same place a little while ago, but after I came out my parents were really supportive and now I have some ace stuff. But I have a friend who goes to Hot Topic or target because they have a pride section. However, they don't usually find any ace stuff. But pretty much any clothing store has a jewelry section where they sell black rings. I like it because it's discrete but also means a lot so I think that getting yourself one is great if you don't want to come out. If you do, I wish you the best of luck!!
your parents probably wouldn´t even know what that ring means, no need to explain it to them. I got my ring through my mother for christmas and she still doesn´t know why I wanted it, despite being kind of out.
I made my own by wrapping black thread around an old silver ring that has a purple gem inset in it. So now I have a ring that has all 3 colors of the ace community, and I wear it everyday, even though I'm not out to anyone I know.
i cant order things either so the only thing i have is a paper flag (about an inch big) hanging above my bed, so im the only one who sees it. it's still nice seeing it when i cant sleep. :)
I have a black ring with a chain wrapped around the center of it. The chain's meant to be fiddled with as it sits loose on the band, so I find it easy to play with while I'm thinking or nervous/anxious about something. You could look into something similar if you're wanting to wear it on your hand.
The idea of having it on the neck is REALLY tempting, then I realize that it would be too distracting for others. I would like to have it on my finger as it's easier to fiddle and keep eye contact for me
hello there. I am a 44yo aro-ace. I like that you present asexuality with a smile. Too many people think it must be a dreary experience when it really isn't. Thanks!
I have a single ace ring, which isn’t black, but has a small imprint of a spade- the ace of spades, a common symbol of the ace community, for obvious reasons:)
The Daydream System you can probably look online to see cause I never saw a specific store or website for them but any black ring will do or any rings that you think represents you as an Ace
"I am valid, even if I think that I'm not" is exactly what I needed to hear, it's so damn hard reminding yourself of that, so it means a lot to see that there's not only acceptance out there, but people who are just as insecure as you are, sometimes. Thank you so much 💜
It's a bit cheesy but I had instances where I'd be walking in a store and someone would point at their own black ring after they noticed I had one. It was like a silent little "Sup"
Reminds me of whenever i see someone else with a tattoo or tshirt, etc of an anime, tv show or movie saga i am a fan of and i too point at whatever merchan i am wearing like " hey, fellow nerd"
It's surprising, the things that make you cry. It just hearing someone else talk about wearing a black ring on their middle right finger and what it means to them...maybe it's weird, but it made me cry. From happiness. Happiness. Nothing sad. Swearsies!
There was a guy in my musical theatre, and I saw he had an ace ring, but I hadn't been sure about it for a few weeks until he mentioned it, and honestly, it was just so nice that I actually met and identified another ace person by his ring
I actually have a black and silver ring as well. But I decided to wear it on the left hand. Because I rather identify with ace as the umbrella term. So I thought, if I were to wear it on the right hand, I felt like I was forcing an absolute on to me. (I know that sounds weird.) But part of my identity is that I cannot see myself with someone else and therefore kind of decided to be permanently single. (This is a decision I made to feel comfortable around people. I am not interested in people, at least not in romantic or sexual relationships, but I am easily attached to my friends. And if they were to ask me out, I´d feel forced to say yes and I want to avoid that. This might change when I grow older, but right now I want to feel like myself and the umbrella term aro/ace just really helps me with that.) That said, I didn´t know the story you just told us. And I am so happy, because now it makes even more sense to me to wear my ring on my left hand ^^
thats actually really interesting, when I get an ace ring I'll have to wear it on my left hand (since I draw) I guess the placement can only have deeper meaning if it's intended to 😅
I e been pretty isolated for various reason except for going to therapy. My therapist at the time was unabashedly out a genderfluid lesbian. We talked about gender and orientation occasionally; after reading a bit about being ace I finally said it out loud for the first time really. No big deal was made but I left glowing because I knew that one piece of my puzzle isn’t broken, its a lucious black, grey, white, and purple cake. Love you all. 💜
A few months ago I discovered asexuality and finally understood so much more about myself. It’s funny, because my room was literally already painted and decorated with the ace flag’s colours. 😂 Coïncidence!
I painted my room when I was 11. I asked my parents to paint it my favorite colors, purple and green. When I was 14, I figured out I was aro/ace, and so my room is coincidently the right color.
I have an Ace ring and it's great. Nice to know the origin story of it, thank you! :) Also my first Ace ring I made and painted myself, and literally a few months later my mom bought be one without even knowing why it's so important to me so yeah that's great.
I've had an ace ring for almost a year now- it's just a piece of black embroidery thread wrapped around my finger a few times, but I actually find it much more comfortable and wearable than conventional rings.
I discovered the term 'asexual' four-five years ago through a friend in college. At the time I was going through a confusing and annoying time trying to identify my feelings toward this guy I was with--I was friends with him since middle school but by our second date I wasn't feeling it'd work between us and ended it off. Hearing the term "asexual" really clicked and sat right with me and the feeling of closure I felt when I was directed to AVEN by this friend another friend of mine. Since then, I've grown so much more confident and comfortable in my skin, even if I've yet to find a guy who respects and believes me and my orientation. I am still over the moon to have solace that there was never anything wrong with me. Over the course of the years, my amazing friends have gotten me ace-related things--pins and stickers--that I look forward to wearing proudly once I am out of my parents' house as I am not out to them. At some point, I learned about the Ace Ring and for years I have wanted one, but was unable to get one for myself due to my parents. Anywho, this Christmas one of my friends finally got one for me and I am currently wearing it as a necklace until we get it resized. My journey hasn't been an easy one, and to anyone who may be reading this and is facing challenges. Let me assure you that things *will* be okay. *You* will be okay. Just remember you are valid and to keep your chin held high. Because you are amazing. Never forget that.
It's interesting hearing you talking about feeling broken and alone as an Ace person... That's totally how I feel again and again because it seems like there's nobody who feels the same way. It's just like there isn't anyone who is possible to understand the way I think or feel. Nobody who can get my confusion because nothing out of the life of "normal" people/Allys can help me to understand my feelings. Just thank you for this video! It shows that we are not alone. There are others like us. Good to know.
I got an ace ring just about a two week ago now. For about three years I’ve been struggling with my sexuality. I’ve been reading and researching different identities for so long and I was so slow to come to terms with myself and being asexual. I’m still not altogether I guess. However, the ring has helped me so much in the short time I’ve had it. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone. There are people like me. And this is a real thing. It’s helping me grow more comfortable with myself after so many years of confusion. For once, this feels right. Great informative video.
I know what you mean, it does make you feel connected even if you don't know anyone else who's ace. I wear and ace ring though, so that if someone ace sees it, they also feel like they aren't alone.
I never felt a reason to advertise until recently when it seemed like everyone in the world became interested in my sexuality ☺. I love my black ring and now wear it more often.
Im a little late to this video, but i felt like i needed to say thank you anyway... ive only made my comming out recently and i get many "youll grow out of it" Seeing videos of other aces helps me stay positive so thank you 3 years late ♥️
I started wearing a ring lately for a number of reasons; - I've wanted a man ring for a while now. - Although I've known I'm ace for a few years, I classed myself as straight to most as it wasn't something I thought was of significance. I now want to embrace who I am more and start meeting people, and I feel like an ace ring would be a good discrete way of broadcasting myself to other aces (although I'd like to meet another ace, I'm open to anyone regardless of orientation). - And for non-ace people I meet, it's a good conversation-starter and a gentle way of opening the orientation discussion. - It reminds me that there are other aces hiding in the shadows like I am. One thing to keep in mind, wearing a black ring on any other finger than the middle can be mistaken for you being a swinger. It was a mutual agreement between the communities that swingers will respect the exclusive use of the middle finger by the ace community, and the rest of fingers to be used by the swinger community.
I am newly asexual (I just came out about a month ago) and I'm still learning about asexuality despite what I already know. I didn't know about the ace ring and the significance behind it until I saw this video. So thank you for educating me on this. :)
This is so lovely! My father bought my ace ring for me, and it was so so touching, damn. When he gave it to me he said, 'now imagine that this will cure all your problems, this is a charm.'
This is amazing! My mom is letting me get a black ring, but it’s not an ordinary ace ring, it’s a Lord of the Rings one made of black silver. She doesn’t like the fact I’m asexual, so I told her it was just a cool LOTR thing to get. I’m going to wear that ring until the day I die.
A long time after I found out that I was demi I decided to orn my earphones with the ace color, it a bit like making a bracelet around the main cable plus it protect it really well. Then I use my earphones on my daily basis. And one morning while I just put them away my colleague/good friend tell me " you know that's the ace colors ? " I was like " yeah, that the idea" she answered with a "really?!" And we found out we're both in the community like that. I was never so happy to wear the colors than at this moment.
wow that is really cool! my friends are super vocal about sex and it kind of makes me uncomfortable (i'm gray ace/demi) so i haven't really met any other ace ppl irl so far but i hope some day i will
I ordered my ring online and wore a black hairband until it arrived as well. I feel like it made coming out to others as asexual so much more comfortable and I felt way more confident wearing it. Thank you for sharing your experience and the ace ring with other people, it really makes a difference in whoever watches this video.
I recently came out as aroace. I always knew I was different since I wasn't interested in the same things my friends and classmates were: dating, having sex, and finding the "one" person for you. However, my friends and many of my classmates thought that I won't know until I try dating someone. I decided to give it at chance, but I'd never enjoyed it. I didn't like when my ex kissed me or held my hand. I just found it odd and annoying. After breaking up, I felt a sense of relief and peace while my ex took our break up hard. This made me wonder if I ever loved him since I didn't feel sad or anything. Then I decided to date a close coworker who I'd enjoyed talking with, but as soon as we started dating, I felt trapped and uncomfortable. I hated when he kissed me and held my hand. I decided to break up and the same thing happened again. I didn't feel sad while my ex took it hard and we ended in bad terms. I thought that something was wrong me, but decided to ignore it and move on. Then I dated someone again and once again, I began to feel trapped. At first, I thought it was the stress of school, but one late night, everything changed. On that night, there was a video on my recommendations feed about knowing if you're asexual. At first, it confused me since the only thing I could think of was about marine biology stuff. Once I watched the video, I was shock. I began to feel ashamed and even in denial because I thought it couldn't be possible. As I did more research, it hit me. It was hard explaining to my ex since I decided to brake up when I came out. He was a bit heartbroken, but understood me. Lately, I've been feeling broken and weird since this is so new to me, but when I saw your video about the rings, it shook my heart. I know I should be embracing my asexuality as part of who I am, but it has been hard due to society literally pushing sex and romance as the norm. But when I heard your words and the meaning of the ring, I never felt so happy. Thank you! I'm definitely gonna get both the asexual and aromantic rings to fully embrace who I am and let those who are asexual that they're not alone and should be proud for who they are. 😊
I made my ace ring by doing 'surgery' on a black hair tie. I cut it to size, then superglued the ends together (The hair tie was stretched out, and I don't need them anyways cause I got a pixie cut a few months ago btw)
I want to thank you, iv been struggling for years on this. Iv been to pride iv been with girls n guys, despite it all iv never been attracted to anyone. The closest iv ever been is romantic, the day I said "yes I am ace". I finally feel better, thank youtube for recommending these.
I finally got my ring today and is to small to fit my middle finger because of a mix up in size so I’m just wearing it on the ring finger on the right side because that’s close enough for now but this video is the reason I got my ring thank for making this video I wanted to take a small step to show my pride and this is the perfect step for me as of now even though it’s the wrong size I’ll wear it until I get the right size to wear it properly it’s the meaning and me moving forward and I’m proud of myself
Such a beautiful video, you made me cry because that's exactly how I feel about showing pride and about my ring, it's such a nice feeling to see we're not alone
I don’t have my ace ring yet, but it’s in the mail. I have a flag that needs to be ironed and a round pendant that has the ace flag on it. I am new to the ace community and just came out to my family two days ago. As soon as my sister in law saw my necklace, she was so happy and proud, and then my brother saw it and explained what it was. Everyone was so happy and proud of me coming out. My family loves me no matter what. I am nervous about telling my boyfriend though. We have been together for over 3 years, and I can tell he loves me very much, but he does come from a catholic family, so I don’t know how conservative his views are on this stuff. Our relationship might change. On the other hand, we’ve never been sexually active. In fact, I think he’s about as virgin as I am. And we’re both socially insecure nerds. Who knows? Maybe he'll discover something about himself he never knew existed. No idea whats gonna happen. I'll try to keep you updated about what happens.
Thank you so much for making this video. Even though I'm lowkey here in 2019 (soon to be 2020!), it makes me really happy to see people acknowledging the ace community, and some cool facts about it (like the ace ring!). I've never really felt all that accepted for being asexual because all of my friends talk so much about sex and relationships, and I just can't relate. It's nice to have a community like this, y'know? Thank you for the content, information, and representation!
I also got mine in Feb 2016! Never taken it off. It reminds me that there's a whole community of ace people out there even though there is next to no visibility in mainstream media etc.
lmao i fricked up when i bought my ring a year ago. i only recently learned about the ring and was very excited to have a way to show my pride that wouldn't set off my melodramatic dad, but the thing is i'm hella allergic to iron so getting a ring i could wear was a feast. i lucked out with the christmas bazaar as one stall had hematite rings. i couldn't recall if it was supposed to go onto any specific finger so i just bought one that fit my left middle.
Thank you for all of your videos. I am 30[m] and I have thought I was "broken", as you say, for all my adult life. Recently, I have looked more into asexuality and it has really resonated with me and I've been watching your videos. I love the symbolism of the ace ring and am getting mine soon! Much love! Keep sharing your thoughts, opinions, and facts!
I have never worn rings so it would feel weird to me wearing one. So instead, I've made myself a friendship style bracelet in the colours of the ace flag to show my pride. Been finishing it off tonight while watching this video. It doesn't make you invalid if you don't wear a ring or anything to show you are asexual, just do you. There are loads of different ways of showing pride. :)
Well done for reading the entire aven thread! Got mine back in 2015 and worn one every day since but never read/seen anyone explain how it was decided on, so interesting to finally know. My addition to the ring is a bead I use to tie up my beard which is in the ace flag colours, though in my case I made it myself from Fimo.
this is so nice to know.. i'm going to get a black ring as soon as i can. i have a blackish grey ring but it's too big... i think it's kind of sweet at least to mention though, because it was a gift years ago from my qpp. and now it feels like it has an even deeper meaning. also! fellow brit ace!!!!
Thank you for teaching me about this, it's heartwarming to see you being so enthusiastic about it. I can't wait to see you the next time I can, we have got to have a proper sit down and chat!
I first watched this video about a year ago, or maybe a year and a half, when I started my research to find out whether I'm ace or not (I'm still not 100% sure, as I am single as ever lmao, but I feel fine with identifying as such as long there is no evidence that I am not) I ever since wanted to get a ring, but I thought it to be kind of "impossible", as I am 16, never really go shopping and almost never wear juwelery, so I don't really have a clue how or where to get a proper ring. I also never wanted to ask my parents to buy me one as they would probably ask why it has to be a heavy black ring instead of something more "pretty" and I don't really want to come out to them just now. However, I am trying to calculate my ring size right now, as my sister asked me what I want for my birthday next month (she doesn't want to give me another book lmao) and I'm thinking to ask her if she could give me such a ring. I'm also gonna search for the material some person suggested, this was also a reason why I searched for this video again because I remembered that someone posted a comment with advice for buying a ring, so thank you to that person, I think it's gonna help a lot. So I'll ask my sister and tell her the details about the ring I want, I'm curious if it's gonna work out. I'm gonna come back to this comment in about a month or so, after my birthday, so I'm gonna tell you guys if I got the ring or not. Even though probably no one's gonna read this lmao 😂 Update: I got the ring... but we somewhere made a mistake calculating the size so we have to send it back and order a new one as it was too large... Well okay 😂 Update II: I finally got it. It took some time, but it was still early for pride month. Even though it felt really weird wearing it the first day, I'm absolutely in love by now 😍
you look particularly pretty in this video !! also great video as per - i'm so haps of your pride and confidence within your asexuality; an inspiration 💕
A few years I was randomly at a stand that sold various rings that were made out of stone. I love jewelry and because my sister broke a stone ring of mine a while back, I asked her if she would buy me a new one. She agreed, because they weren't that expensive and I looked througg them if I would find a nice one. In the end I was torn between a red one that was cut in a way that it had a really cool diamond look and a smooth black ring, that had a really nice width. I asked some friends who were there and in the end it was a hard decision, but I chose the black one. The ring only fitted on the middle finger of my right hand and it fitted like a glove. Years later I noticed that people were going crazy about boys or girls and I didn't, at that time people asked me if I was ace because of my ring, which I always denied. I was very sure, that I was straight. Well, turns out I wasn't. I had mental breakdowns, because I just didn't want sex and my relationship with my partner suffered because of it. One day I watched a video of someone explaining different sexualities and when he explained asexuality I thought to myself, hey I know that feeling... and that one too... wait a minute. I dug through the internet looking up everything I could find. I didn't relate to everything so I doubted myself a lot. In the end I came out to my best friend first and he was very supportive and after that I told my partner what I found out. I was prepared for him to leave, because he said that sex was important for him in a relationship, but he stayed! We're together for over three years now and I often ask him if he's fine with not having sex every time we see each other and he says that he is. I just wanted to share my story, if you're also ace you can find love and have a healthy relationship even with very little sexy time. 🖤🤍💜
I'm apart of a system & we have a new alter, who's from the 1900s, and has never heard of asexuality. When he found out he might be ace, his first reaction was to gasp & say "Oh? What is that?" then got really excited when he learned that he actually is ace. It was very wholesome & I thought I should share this here
Hey, I dunno if you read this . I am making currently a priie info sheet to hang it out at my school and gonna include you know to the list of the known people. I knew about the ace ring just wasnt too sure about which hand it went on. Thx for even explaining the origins.
Honestly, my biggest moment had nothing to do with finding ace merch or anything. It was when my ace friend described to me what asexuality was and I just kind of said to myself "so there is a word for it. I'm not broken."
I read _"I have a couple ace dragons"_ and I deadass thought *I want a dragon too!* And if thats not the most positively stereotypical ace thing ever tell me what It is
I figured out I was ace about two months ago and just told my friend my romantic orientation and it was amazing I feel so much better now that I'm out thanks to you for showing I'm not alone and thanks to Lee thoe ( she is on RUclips ) for being the one I can trust with that
What I like about the ring idea (and why I'm considering getting one) is to me it seems like a way to show your pride in your sexuality in a way that isn't a flag, which is good for me, because I'm not out to my parents yet, but still want to like wear pride stuff
Looking for the multicolored ACE RING 💍! Searching Brooklyn NY. Nobody seems to have it. That specific one is the only one I want- made up my mind-period. Nothing else for me!
I recently came out to my girlfriend as asexual.... she said she was too! That was so helpful to me.... this video made me want to get a ring or bracelet as well.... but I'm scared of anyone else finding out (specifically my parents)...
Very strangely I watched this video yesterday, and today I received a small package from a store I had purchased something from. I only ordered something yesterday. So I just thought it was weird. The package had three silicone rings in it. Two black and one silver. 🤷🏽♀️ If that’s not a sign I don’t know what is.
I was once discussing something with a friend of mine in public and I mentioned asexuality for some reason and someone in passing started making gestures like, "me too! Me too!" So I glanced at her hand to make sure I wasn't mistaken and she had an ace ring on and it gave me enough confidence to ask if she was ace and she was And I also have another friend who wears a black ring and I noticed that (I mean, a black ring is decently hard to miss) and asked her if she was ace before I had a chance to figure out which finger it was on (it was actually on her ring finger). Felt bad cause she wasn't, but she understood and I actually found it really cool because she said she used to wear it on her middle finger but then someone told her what that meant so she changed it. Just the fact that someone knew that (idk who the person was or if they were ace but either way) and she changed it to avoid it... Yes. It was so nice to see
I’m going to see if my favorite store hot topic has any I don’t go out much but definitely been wanting a black ring 😻🖤 it sucks so many people online and in real life can be acephobic and explaining is hard because it seems like they don’t want to understand and just hate it without researching and some may even accept gay and other sexualities but ours seems so invisible so when you say how lonely it can be I agree so much but online you can also find others like us and it’s very helpful to feel like we aren’t broken and it is sad that many even in the lgbt community themselves seem to think we aren’t real but honestly the black ring and bracelets really help i’m glad we also have a cool flag being emo black is such a cool color as are the other dark colors with white and purple following pretty colors ok i’m going to stop rambling thank you for explaining the meaning and background of where the black ring comes from peace!🖤
I read through the origin post of the ring the other day and was happy crying at 3 in the morning. I’ve got a rubber ace bracelet which my best friend got me for a surprise at my first pride, he was the first person I ever came out to I don’t wear it every day as I’m not a huge bracelet person but I also have an ace magnet right next to my bed. I’m hoping to get a black ring for my 18th in a couple of months though it might be difficult to convince my Nan on the colour as I’m not out to my family and they don’t know the importance of the colour to me but the important thing is that I do 🖤💜🖤💜
@@starrynight1165 unless you are playing jungle speed. All hand jewelry off and nails cut for that game is best to avoid accidents, talking from experience.
I have an old ring from my grandmother on my left middle finger. It’s there because it’s too small for my right hand and because I can’t get a black ring (I haven’t come out to family yet)
Ace doesn’t mean permanently single, I wanna cuddle damn.
haha same
Wow, there are alot of ppl just now seeing this vid
Yeah!
I resonate with this so much
Same
So you're telling me that the placement of the ring was purely for the...
ACEthetic?!
* slow clap *
*Rim shot*
That was fantastic
That was amazing
Boo
I explained asexuality to my mom and now we both identify as ace, it was such a breath of relief for both of us to realize 'we're not alone, we're not weird, and we as family can support eachother.'
Oh that's precious I'm so so glad for you really
Omg that’s adorable. I hope that your both doing really well
I think my mom’s ace but I don’t want to come out to her just now
@no homo She did it because she was in an abusive relationship and it was one of the ways he controlled her. ;-; I only found this out a few months ago, I feel really bad that it happened like it did.
That’s kinda wholesome 💜
Someone recognized my ace ring the other day and honestly it made my whole year
glad you had something good in 2020 lmao :'))
@@hiimtired3266 yeah.. that comment didn’t age well 😂
wait that can happen :O
@@dvffYT there are 1% ace people and rarely do they wear the black ring so it's very lucky
awww!!! Lucky!
I'm going to infodump now.
So hi! You'd like a black ring? Cool n_n
(Don't want one, scroll below)
I've worn some over the years and this is what I've found.
Haematite: Don't drop it. It will shatter. Feels nice tho. Good weight
Tungsten carbide: The most durable. Heavy. Glossiness depends on the finish. Best for everyday wear.
Ceramic: Usually looks most impressive, but tends to wear down a lot. Best for formal.
Rubber: Cheapest and least restrictive to wear, but doesn't breathe well. Will wear down.
Titanium: tends to be coated and the colour will wear off. but is good if you want to switch out rings every once in a while
Cheapest place to buy is aliexpress. At least so far in my experience. Search for 'black ring' and add material.
You don't like to wear a ring?
Consider wearing it on a chain around you neck
Could tattoo it on if that's your thing.
Pins and badges are an option. So are bracelets as mentioned in this vid.
The ring is a symbol for you to remember that you're not alone. It is not some sort of a test to be included. Not wearing the ring won't make you any less of an ace. Only you can decide your sexuality. Only you can know how you experience sexual attraction. You say you're ace? Congrats, you ace. That is literally it.
Some gatekeeping asshole trying to tell you that you are not ace because X, Y or Z... never mind them. Are they ace? If they think so, yeah. But their own aceness is the only one they get to decide on.
Now go be good to yourself and each other
Ugh I had a hematite ring and I dropped and it shattered 🤣
As an addendum to this awesome comment I would 100% recommend a Tungsten Carbide ring. They can be really affordable if you buy them on eBay etc. To combat the weight problem I would suggest purchasing the 4mm ring, it’s smaller but a much more manageable weight than the 6mm (so heavy). Now that I own a 4mm ring I wear it every day.
@@DhampirParadox stainless steel too, mens rings often have the deck of cards and I'm a girl but prefer mens rings for everyday, I am not ace but thought I'd put.mh two cents in
Thank you so much!!! This is so helpful and such an amazing message! :'D
What about silicone rings? I want one of those.
Literally whenever I see someone with a ring on their middle finger on the right hand I wonder if it's an ace ring :')
S A M E !
It's usually a black ring
I just saw a video where someone was wearing one and I was thinking possible asexual...?
whenever I see someone with a black ring on their middle finger right hand I immediately wonder if they're ace too
@@rthompson1160 im wearing one rn on my right hands (middle finger) and i lowkey didnt know it meant something
i genuinely broke down crying after watching this.
I went through a breakup recently when i came out to my girlfriend as asexual.
this video made me feel so much better about myself thank you.
this makes ME tear up. go you on coming out as asexual, even if it meant going through a breakup. you are valid in every way shape or form, and there are thousands upon thousands of other asexuals who feel both the same and differently to you and you are not alone. you are loved and valid.
I was like that, when i opened up to my mom being asexual. Luckily, the conversation went well, and she doesn't look at me any different. But you and I have that in common. Finding a relationship is hard, especially when you come out and tell your partner that your an Ace. Everyday i tell myself, if i'll be able to find the right person for me? Will he acknowledge me for who i am? When it came to relationships, i don't mind hugs and kisses, but i feel like something was off, and why do I feel insecure, or seem to have a mixture of emotions, like shy, insecurity, or just awkward, i mean we talk and have a normal conversation but idk why i feel like this to every guy. But, now the crushes or exes that ive had in the past are all taken, ive learn to accept myself for who i am as an individual, and i learn that i don't need a guy to be happy. If they can't see the real you, then they're not worth it.
This comment's a year old, but I'm really sorry that happened. You'll find someone who will accept you for who you are, and your sexuality. Sorry, this comment is really stupid, and probably doesn't make any sense.
Krowx aw man dude. That sucks
sorry but if she making decisions with her genitals then it wasn’t love in the beginning
I recently started to identity as Asexual and for Christmas my boyfriend bought me a pin that is in the Ace colors and one of my co-workers that I have gotten close with made me a sticker with the Ace colors on it. These things hit me rather hard because I have never really seen any Ace stuff either. I would love to wear the pin around and have it with me at all times but since I'm only 15, almost 16, and my parents aren't very accepting of me being trans it's hard to even tell them I'm Ace as well because every time I explain Asexuality and it's spectrum they think it's weird or "bullshit" because of how difference it is for different people. And I do feel broken a lot because of it and because of how I don't like any things teens these days like. For example I'd rather stay inside and cosplay instead of drink and smoke. I feel really abnormal and not to many people talk about Asexuality so I feel better when I hear you talking about it. So thank you.
Dang, my mom's the same way. I know it sucks but you are valid and you are you.
Good luck with your parents! I saw myself in your comment so much, and this already made me feel less “unnormal” thank you😊 I wish someday everyone knows and respect asexuality, and enjoy time without sex & drugs
omg your boyfriend and coworker is amazing. thats so adorable.
*gives hugs* you are not alone
I'm so sorry. You have MY support and love. You are valid!!!!!
The ring that I have on my right middle finger is actually a stainless steel heart ring that my biological grandfather made for my grandmother and she gave to me. I know it's not the black ring, but to me I enjoy it and it helps me remember who I am as well as remember my grandfather because I never really got to meet him I only met him once when I was 2 years old.
STORY TIME: I told my husband last night that I had been looking into Ace stuff because ... we've been married 2 years and his need for sex kind of clashing with my indifference or even fear of it has been a point of conflict. He is sometimes very insecure about the fact that I very, very rarely initiate with him, and struggles with the fear that I don't find him sexually attractive. And I went through a lot of troubleshooting in the past two years. Maybe it was my birthcontrol, so I changed birth control. Maybe it had to do with my history with sexual assault, so I took steps for closure with that. Maybe if I made a conscious effort to meet a specific arbitrary quota of 3 times a week, I would start to crave it, because I like routine and I enjoy fulfilling his needs. And I still spend a lot of time feeling inadequate and in physical pain because sex is only enjoyable to me for about 8-15 minutes at a time.
Then I found out my friend's husband is ace, and their marriage looks pretty stable, so maybe it IS possible to be happily married and not crave sex. Anyway, that's what led me to type "Ace" into youtube. And find out that it's completely possible to be romantically or even sensually attracted to someone *without* being sexually attracted to them. That libido and sexual attraction aren't the same thing, that *none* of these things are one thing.
I have always believed there can't be love without trust, so even though I was worried Aaron might misinterpret what I was saying, that I might hurt his feelings, I told him what I had learned and that I think I might fall somewhere on that spectrum, and after a slightly confused, "Are you sure?" because he thought ace was some variety of bisexual, and I'm definitely not that, lol, he was very supportive and understanding. Just held me and pressed kisses to my forehead while I explained.
If you've stuck with me this far and you're willing to risk a toothache from all of the sweet ---- I think he really enjoyed my example story of when we were still dating back in GA, and I was curled up in a patch of sunshine with my head in his lap thinking about how I would very much like to be his pet cat. Just, you know, disappear for eight hours a day to hunt down dinner, come home, and sit in the last of the afternoon sun making biscuits on his leg while he petted me. That's the dream.
brACElets... cracked me up :D
same here, gotta love the humor
Me too! XD
alright, let me spill my heart out. I'm 14 but figured out I was/am asexual when I was 11 or 12. Everyone else was so interested in relationships and I just wasn't. well, not in the same way. I noticed I thought girls were pretty in the same way I thought boys were. I started doing research -and watching Thomas Sanders (he was a big part in accepting myself) - and I finally learned about other genders and such and I stumbled on Asexual Panromantic.
long story short; a year after that I got an Ace ring (I keep it on my left hand because I'm an artist and it got in the way lol) and I've kept it on since. thank you for shedding light on this lovely community. love you
Son of a biscuit, are you me?! I was reading this like “did I comment on this and not remember?” But no you’re a real person! High five!
hey I'm also an ace artist and I was worried it would get in the way like normal rings do, that's actually a really smart alternative I'll probably do that as well if I get an ace ring so thanks :)
same! when I was 12 i just couldn’t relate to everyone talking about dating boys or girls. My sister said I may be asexual and 14 years old now i identify as an aromatic asexual.
Thank you. I’m 13 and I’m identifying as asexual, and every time I tell someone they say I’m too young. I hate it, because if I said “I’m straight” they’d take it... it’s great to know that I’m not the only teen who feels this way ♠️
I'm glad to know there are fellow Aces of my age, It really helps out whenever I feel insecure about being Ace, wish you all the best!
I got a ring a couple days ago. I had a moment today in which I had an epiphany. I was concerned about being judged for being asexual. I realized that I should wear the ring as a symbol. It's a symbol of acceptance of who I am, and all the good and bad that may come with it. It was a good moment.
I also wear a black ring on the middle finger of my right hand to represent the fact that I'm asexual, to remind myself that I'm not alone and to showcase that my sexuality is valid. I never really knew the story behind it though so it was nice to learn more about it's history. I remember buying mine online and I was so happy when it came, I literally almost cried lol.
I love how proud you are about your sexuality! It's really refreshing to see and it reminds other people in the ace community that they are truly not alone. Thanks for this video 💜
Where did you buy yours? I've been looking for one for a while
reptiqueen you can buy them almost anywhere like amazon or aliexpress, but I recommend going to a jewelry store to find one because you can find the right size easier
Yes me too, i wearing a black ring in my right hand too, and everytime i saw ppl use it i always wonder if they r too 😆🥺 proud to be an ace ♠💜
Every time I see someone with a black ring I always gasp because I'm always like "are they a fellow ace??" Personally, I wear my ace ring on my left middle finger because it sadly doesn't fit on my right one. But, I plan on saving up to get another - along with more ace and aro themed pins, rings and other bangles.
Nikkö Alexander the
Me too except I have to wear my ring on my left ring finger. It's the only finger I can wear a ring on. But it is a great feeling when I see someone else wearing a black ring. We're not alone.
You may want to find a ring that fits on your right hand as black rings on the left and middle finger are often synonymous with "swingers"
Isn't there an aro ring as well? I think it is white and worn on the left middle finger, but I may be wrong, I can't really remember.
I've been wearing a hematite ring that can be found in gem shops. They usually are under $10, actually pretty sure I've picked them up for like 3 or 4 bucks. Easy to replace :) it's a nice silvery black.
I’m not out to my parents and I have no way of ordering things online without it going through my mum first so I managed to make myself a makeshift ring out of a glue gun and a black sharpie! I also made myself a badge because I can’t order one online. I can’t actually wear the badge incase my parents see it but it feels great having it!
I was in the same place a little while ago, but after I came out my parents were really supportive and now I have some ace stuff. But I have a friend who goes to Hot Topic or target because they have a pride section. However, they don't usually find any ace stuff. But pretty much any clothing store has a jewelry section where they sell black rings. I like it because it's discrete but also means a lot so I think that getting yourself one is great if you don't want to come out. If you do, I wish you the best of luck!!
your parents probably wouldn´t even know what that ring means, no need to explain it to them.
I got my ring through my mother for christmas and she still doesn´t know why I wanted it, despite being kind of out.
Tea Tea OMG yes yes yes I'm with you i made a look ring
I made my own by wrapping black thread around an old silver ring that has a purple gem inset in it. So now I have a ring that has all 3 colors of the ace community, and I wear it everyday, even though I'm not out to anyone I know.
i cant order things either so the only thing i have is a paper flag (about an inch big) hanging above my bed, so im the only one who sees it. it's still nice seeing it when i cant sleep. :)
I have an ace ring, but I tend to keep it on a necklace, because when I wear rings I CANNOT stop fiddling with them
Thats valid too! I've met a few aces that wear them on a necklace💜🤍🖤
Haha funny thing I got mine today and I CAN'T KEEP IT ON
I have a black ring with a chain wrapped around the center of it. The chain's meant to be fiddled with as it sits loose on the band, so I find it easy to play with while I'm thinking or nervous/anxious about something. You could look into something similar if you're wanting to wear it on your hand.
The idea of having it on the neck is REALLY tempting, then I realize that it would be too distracting for others. I would like to have it on my finger as it's easier to fiddle and keep eye contact for me
hello there. I am a 44yo aro-ace. I like that you present asexuality with a smile. Too many people think it must be a dreary experience when it really isn't. Thanks!
awesome!
I have a single ace ring, which isn’t black, but has a small imprint of a spade- the ace of spades, a common symbol of the ace community, for obvious reasons:)
Lilly Weaver where do i get one?
Can i ask a few questions?
The Daydream System you can probably look online to see cause I never saw a specific store or website for them but any black ring will do or any rings that you think represents you as an Ace
The Daydream System I realize this is late, haha. I got it on Etsy, can’t remember from whom exactly.
"I am valid, even if I think that I'm not" is exactly what I needed to hear, it's so damn hard reminding yourself of that, so it means a lot to see that there's not only acceptance out there, but people who are just as insecure as you are, sometimes. Thank you so much 💜
It's a bit cheesy but I had instances where I'd be walking in a store and someone would point at their own black ring after they noticed I had one. It was like a silent little "Sup"
Reminds me of whenever i see someone else with a tattoo or tshirt, etc of an anime, tv show or movie saga i am a fan of and i too point at whatever merchan i am wearing like " hey, fellow nerd"
It's surprising, the things that make you cry. It just hearing someone else talk about wearing a black ring on their middle right finger and what it means to them...maybe it's weird, but it made me cry. From happiness. Happiness. Nothing sad. Swearsies!
Nicki Plague
Awww
Omg they’re ace themed rings and merch?!?
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS EARLIER!!
The ace bracelet makes me cry a little because I only recently found out that i'm asexual too. Thank you for sharing this, it makes me feel less alone
I like my black ring and everytime in summer I get an "Ace Tanline" from it
There was a guy in my musical theatre, and I saw he had an ace ring, but I hadn't been sure about it for a few weeks until he mentioned it, and honestly, it was just so nice that I actually met and identified another ace person by his ring
Can a panromantic asexual wear an ace ring?
Charlie of course!
I have a silver and black ring. Does it have to be solid black or no?
Of course, it’s for any asexual person so it doesn’t matter your romantic attractions :)
What's Crackalakin i finally got mine and it isnt solid black I've heard of people with gold rings and black diamonds mine is a silver and black onyx
yes. Ive knew a girl who was panromantic asexual and she wore a black ring on her left middle finger, and another one on her right middle finger.
I usually thing of an ace ring as a purity ring for asexuals. Ive actually received mines at the mail today. And boy, does it feel wonderful.
I actually have a black and silver ring as well. But I decided to wear it on the left hand.
Because I rather identify with ace as the umbrella term.
So I thought, if I were to wear it on the right hand, I felt like I was forcing an absolute on to me. (I know that sounds weird.)
But part of my identity is that I cannot see myself with someone else and therefore kind of decided to be permanently single. (This is a decision I made to feel comfortable around people. I am not interested in people, at least not in romantic or sexual relationships, but I am easily attached to my friends. And if they were to ask me out, I´d feel forced to say yes and I want to avoid that. This might change when I grow older, but right now I want to feel like myself and the umbrella term aro/ace just really helps me with that.)
That said, I didn´t know the story you just told us. And I am so happy, because now it makes even more sense to me to wear my ring on my left hand ^^
thats actually really interesting, when I get an ace ring I'll have to wear it on my left hand (since I draw) I guess the placement can only have deeper meaning if it's intended to 😅
I e been pretty isolated for various reason except for going to therapy. My therapist at the time was unabashedly out a genderfluid lesbian. We talked about gender and orientation occasionally; after reading a bit about being ace I finally said it out loud for the first time really. No big deal was made but I left glowing because I knew that one piece of my puzzle isn’t broken, its a lucious black, grey, white, and purple cake. Love you all. 💜
Ace is valid. Ace is real. Don’t let ignorant people tell you you’re “broken”. You’re not. You don’t need to be “fixed”. Be yourself and love it ^^
This was super informative, and it was so nice to see you so happy and proud of your identity ❤️
A few months ago I discovered asexuality and finally understood so much more about myself. It’s funny, because my room was literally already painted and decorated with the ace flag’s colours. 😂 Coïncidence!
I painted my room when I was 11. I asked my parents to paint it my favorite colors, purple and green. When I was 14, I figured out I was aro/ace, and so my room is coincidently the right color.
I have an Ace ring and it's great. Nice to know the origin story of it, thank you! :)
Also my first Ace ring I made and painted myself, and literally a few months later my mom bought be one without even knowing why it's so important to me so yeah that's great.
I've had an ace ring for almost a year now- it's just a piece of black embroidery thread wrapped around my finger a few times, but I actually find it much more comfortable and wearable than conventional rings.
that's so cool and a creative way to get/make one. I got my ace ring recently, and I love it.
Oh my goodness mine is the same thing haha
I discovered the term 'asexual' four-five years ago through a friend in college. At the time I was going through a confusing and annoying time trying to identify my feelings toward this guy I was with--I was friends with him since middle school but by our second date I wasn't feeling it'd work between us and ended it off. Hearing the term "asexual" really clicked and sat right with me and the feeling of closure I felt when I was directed to AVEN by this friend another friend of mine. Since then, I've grown so much more confident and comfortable in my skin, even if I've yet to find a guy who respects and believes me and my orientation. I am still over the moon to have solace that there was never anything wrong with me. Over the course of the years, my amazing friends have gotten me ace-related things--pins and stickers--that I look forward to wearing proudly once I am out of my parents' house as I am not out to them. At some point, I learned about the Ace Ring and for years I have wanted one, but was unable to get one for myself due to my parents. Anywho, this Christmas one of my friends finally got one for me and I am currently wearing it as a necklace until we get it resized. My journey hasn't been an easy one, and to anyone who may be reading this and is facing challenges. Let me assure you that things *will* be okay. *You* will be okay. Just remember you are valid and to keep your chin held high. Because you are amazing. Never forget that.
It's interesting hearing you talking about feeling broken and alone as an Ace person... That's totally how I feel again and again because it seems like there's nobody who feels the same way. It's just like there isn't anyone who is possible to understand the way I think or feel. Nobody who can get my confusion because nothing out of the life of "normal" people/Allys can help me to understand my feelings.
Just thank you for this video! It shows that we are not alone. There are others like us. Good to know.
I got an ace ring just about a two week ago now. For about three years I’ve been struggling with my sexuality. I’ve been reading and researching different identities for so long and I was so slow to come to terms with myself and being asexual. I’m still not altogether I guess. However, the ring has helped me so much in the short time I’ve had it. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone. There are people like me. And this is a real thing. It’s helping me grow more comfortable with myself after so many years of confusion. For once, this feels right. Great informative video.
"Yes thats me I am not alone" made me cry 5:00 and 6:12 made me cry
I know what you mean, it does make you feel connected even if you don't know anyone else who's ace. I wear and ace ring though, so that if someone ace sees it, they also feel like they aren't alone.
I never felt a reason to advertise until recently when it seemed like everyone in the world became interested in my sexuality ☺. I love my black ring and now wear it more often.
Just got a new one recently with a little more style😊
Im a little late to this video, but i felt like i needed to say thank you anyway... ive only made my comming out recently and i get many "youll grow out of it"
Seeing videos of other aces helps me stay positive so thank you 3 years late ♥️
Would it be okay to wear an ace ring if you're gray ace?
PK Cat Of course! The AVEN community includes asexuals, gray aces, demisexuals, and everything in between :)
Yeah I'm demi and I do
Yeah whatever gender you like an you’re still an ace of course you can wear the ring
Of course, anyone on the Ace spectrum can wear an ace ring :)
Of course!! You're part of the community! We love you!(platonically)
I saw a TikTok about the rings that aromantic is white ring on middle left finger but idk about ace so here I ma
I started wearing a ring lately for a number of reasons;
- I've wanted a man ring for a while now.
- Although I've known I'm ace for a few years, I classed myself as straight to most as it wasn't something I thought was of significance. I now want to embrace who I am more and start meeting people, and I feel like an ace ring would be a good discrete way of broadcasting myself to other aces (although I'd like to meet another ace, I'm open to anyone regardless of orientation).
- And for non-ace people I meet, it's a good conversation-starter and a gentle way of opening the orientation discussion.
- It reminds me that there are other aces hiding in the shadows like I am.
One thing to keep in mind, wearing a black ring on any other finger than the middle can be mistaken for you being a swinger. It was a mutual agreement between the communities that swingers will respect the exclusive use of the middle finger by the ace community, and the rest of fingers to be used by the swinger community.
I am newly asexual (I just came out about a month ago) and I'm still learning about asexuality despite what I already know. I didn't know about the ace ring and the significance behind it until I saw this video. So thank you for educating me on this. :)
One rule of thumb for ring size is using your shoe size in US sizing. It doesn't work for everyone, but if you have no idea, it's a starting point :)
Don't know if anyone will see this but I got my ring today AND I'M SOOO HAPPY
This is so lovely!
My father bought my ace ring for me, and it was so so touching, damn.
When he gave it to me he said, 'now imagine that this will cure all your problems, this is a charm.'
This is amazing! My mom is letting me get a black ring, but it’s not an ordinary ace ring, it’s a Lord of the Rings one made of black silver. She doesn’t like the fact I’m asexual, so I told her it was just a cool LOTR thing to get. I’m going to wear that ring until the day I die.
I loved the video, I am still kinda figuring it out, but I dip dyed my hair purple and blue to signify the biromantic.
Learning about asexuality has been very eye opening. More people need to know about this.
I am bingewatching ace videos and reading comments.
A long time after I found out that I was demi I decided to orn my earphones with the ace color, it a bit like making a bracelet around the main cable plus it protect it really well. Then I use my earphones on my daily basis. And one morning while I just put them away my colleague/good friend tell me " you know that's the ace colors ? " I was like " yeah, that the idea" she answered with a "really?!" And we found out we're both in the community like that. I was never so happy to wear the colors than at this moment.
wow that is really cool! my friends are super vocal about sex and it kind of makes me uncomfortable (i'm gray ace/demi) so i haven't really met any other ace ppl irl so far but i hope some day i will
I ordered my ring online and wore a black hairband until it arrived as well. I feel like it made coming out to others as asexual so much more comfortable and I felt way more confident wearing it. Thank you for sharing your experience and the ace ring with other people, it really makes a difference in whoever watches this video.
aw i can relate so much when you cried of thankfulness. this just expresses how much left out we feel in this society. it can be painful somtimes
I recently came out as aroace. I always knew I was different since I wasn't interested in the same things my friends and classmates were: dating, having sex, and finding the "one" person for you. However, my friends and many of my classmates thought that I won't know until I try dating someone. I decided to give it at chance, but I'd never enjoyed it. I didn't like when my ex kissed me or held my hand. I just found it odd and annoying. After breaking up, I felt a sense of relief and peace while my ex took our break up hard. This made me wonder if I ever loved him since I didn't feel sad or anything. Then I decided to date a close coworker who I'd enjoyed talking with, but as soon as we started dating, I felt trapped and uncomfortable. I hated when he kissed me and held my hand. I decided to break up and the same thing happened again. I didn't feel sad while my ex took it hard and we ended in bad terms. I thought that something was wrong me, but decided to ignore it and move on. Then I dated someone again and once again, I began to feel trapped. At first, I thought it was the stress of school, but one late night, everything changed. On that night, there was a video on my recommendations feed about knowing if you're asexual. At first, it confused me since the only thing I could think of was about marine biology stuff. Once I watched the video, I was shock. I began to feel ashamed and even in denial because I thought it couldn't be possible. As I did more research, it hit me. It was hard explaining to my ex since I decided to brake up when I came out. He was a bit heartbroken, but understood me.
Lately, I've been feeling broken and weird since this is so new to me, but when I saw your video about the rings, it shook my heart. I know I should be embracing my asexuality as part of who I am, but it has been hard due to society literally pushing sex and romance as the norm. But when I heard your words and the meaning of the ring, I never felt so happy. Thank you! I'm definitely gonna get both the asexual and aromantic rings to fully embrace who I am and let those who are asexual that they're not alone and should be proud for who they are. 😊
I made my ace ring by doing 'surgery' on a black hair tie. I cut it to size, then superglued the ends together
(The hair tie was stretched out, and I don't need them anyways cause I got a pixie cut a few months ago btw)
My ring just came in the mail yesterday!
Sweetheart we are NOT broken!! We are who we are, everyone else needs to chill, love and hugs!!!
I want to thank you, iv been struggling for years on this. Iv been to pride iv been with girls n guys, despite it all iv never been attracted to anyone. The closest iv ever been is romantic, the day I said "yes I am ace". I finally feel better, thank youtube for recommending these.
I finally got my ring today and is to small to fit my middle finger because of a mix up in size so I’m just wearing it on the ring finger on the right side because that’s close enough for now but this video is the reason I got my ring thank for making this video I wanted to take a small step to show my pride and this is the perfect step for me as of now even though it’s the wrong size I’ll wear it until I get the right size to wear it properly it’s the meaning and me moving forward and I’m proud of myself
Such a beautiful video, you made me cry because that's exactly how I feel about showing pride and about my ring, it's such a nice feeling to see we're not alone
I don’t have my ace ring yet, but it’s in the mail. I have a flag that needs to be ironed and a round pendant that has the ace flag on it. I am new to the ace community and just came out to my family two days ago. As soon as my sister in law saw my necklace, she was so happy and proud, and then my brother saw it and explained what it was. Everyone was so happy and proud of me coming out. My family loves me no matter what.
I am nervous about telling my boyfriend though. We have been together for over 3 years, and I can tell he loves me very much, but he does come from a catholic family, so I don’t know how conservative his views are on this stuff. Our relationship might change. On the other hand, we’ve never been sexually active. In fact, I think he’s about as virgin as I am. And we’re both socially insecure nerds. Who knows? Maybe he'll discover something about himself he never knew existed. No idea whats gonna happen. I'll try to keep you updated about what happens.
I wear a ring on my middle finger, but it's silver with an amethyst in the center. Still ace colours, but not the black ring.
Thank you so much for making this video. Even though I'm lowkey here in 2019 (soon to be 2020!), it makes me really happy to see people acknowledging the ace community, and some cool facts about it (like the ace ring!). I've never really felt all that accepted for being asexual because all of my friends talk so much about sex and relationships, and I just can't relate. It's nice to have a community like this, y'know? Thank you for the content, information, and representation!
I also got mine in Feb 2016! Never taken it off. It reminds me that there's a whole community of ace people out there even though there is next to no visibility in mainstream media etc.
lmao i fricked up when i bought my ring a year ago. i only recently learned about the ring and was very excited to have a way to show my pride that wouldn't set off my melodramatic dad, but the thing is i'm hella allergic to iron so getting a ring i could wear was a feast. i lucked out with the christmas bazaar as one stall had hematite rings. i couldn't recall if it was supposed to go onto any specific finger so i just bought one that fit my left middle.
Your video inspired me to actually know that I'm not alone and to buy my own black ring
Thank you for all of your videos. I am 30[m] and I have thought I was "broken", as you say, for all my adult life. Recently, I have looked more into asexuality and it has really resonated with me and I've been watching your videos. I love the symbolism of the ace ring and am getting mine soon! Much love! Keep sharing your thoughts, opinions, and facts!
I have never worn rings so it would feel weird to me wearing one. So instead, I've made myself a friendship style bracelet in the colours of the ace flag to show my pride. Been finishing it off tonight while watching this video. It doesn't make you invalid if you don't wear a ring or anything to show you are asexual, just do you. There are loads of different ways of showing pride. :)
Well done for reading the entire aven thread! Got mine back in 2015 and worn one every day since but never read/seen anyone explain how it was decided on, so interesting to finally know. My addition to the ring is a bead I use to tie up my beard which is in the ace flag colours, though in my case I made it myself from Fimo.
Ace Themed Jewelry! love it. Ace discovery is the best one I ever made about myself.
this is so nice to know.. i'm going to get a black ring as soon as i can. i have a blackish grey ring but it's too big... i think it's kind of sweet at least to mention though, because it was a gift years ago from my qpp. and now it feels like it has an even deeper meaning. also! fellow brit ace!!!!
I’ve always subconsciously worn a ring on my right middle finger. But now this makes more sense 💜🖤
Thank you for teaching me about this, it's heartwarming to see you being so enthusiastic about it. I can't wait to see you the next time I can, we have got to have a proper sit down and chat!
I first watched this video about a year ago, or maybe a year and a half, when I started my research to find out whether I'm ace or not (I'm still not 100% sure, as I am single as ever lmao, but I feel fine with identifying as such as long there is no evidence that I am not)
I ever since wanted to get a ring, but I thought it to be kind of "impossible", as I am 16, never really go shopping and almost never wear juwelery, so I don't really have a clue how or where to get a proper ring. I also never wanted to ask my parents to buy me one as they would probably ask why it has to be a heavy black ring instead of something more "pretty" and I don't really want to come out to them just now.
However, I am trying to calculate my ring size right now, as my sister asked me what I want for my birthday next month (she doesn't want to give me another book lmao) and I'm thinking to ask her if she could give me such a ring.
I'm also gonna search for the material some person suggested, this was also a reason why I searched for this video again because I remembered that someone posted a comment with advice for buying a ring, so thank you to that person, I think it's gonna help a lot.
So I'll ask my sister and tell her the details about the ring I want, I'm curious if it's gonna work out.
I'm gonna come back to this comment in about a month or so, after my birthday, so I'm gonna tell you guys if I got the ring or not.
Even though probably no one's gonna read this lmao 😂
Update: I got the ring... but we somewhere made a mistake calculating the size so we have to send it back and order a new one as it was too large...
Well okay 😂
Update II: I finally got it. It took some time, but it was still early for pride month. Even though it felt really weird wearing it the first day, I'm absolutely in love by now 😍
I read it! Any news about the ring? Did you get it??
Today is the day... I guess I'm gonna get my ring today 👀 update in a few hours
@@violamandyfinnigan5463 oooh so excited for you!
this is so nice! i’ll be really exited if i see someone wearing an ace ring now
i need to get my ace black ring now
you look particularly pretty in this video !! also great video as per - i'm so haps of your pride and confidence within your asexuality; an inspiration 💕
A few years I was randomly at a stand that sold various rings that were made out of stone. I love jewelry and because my sister broke a stone ring of mine a while back, I asked her if she would buy me a new one. She agreed, because they weren't that expensive and I looked througg them if I would find a nice one. In the end I was torn between a red one that was cut in a way that it had a really cool diamond look and a smooth black ring, that had a really nice width. I asked some friends who were there and in the end it was a hard decision, but I chose the black one. The ring only fitted on the middle finger of my right hand and it fitted like a glove.
Years later I noticed that people were going crazy about boys or girls and I didn't, at that time people asked me if I was ace because of my ring, which I always denied. I was very sure, that I was straight. Well, turns out I wasn't.
I had mental breakdowns, because I just didn't want sex and my relationship with my partner suffered because of it.
One day I watched a video of someone explaining different sexualities and when he explained asexuality I thought to myself, hey I know that feeling... and that one too... wait a minute.
I dug through the internet looking up everything I could find. I didn't relate to everything so I doubted myself a lot.
In the end I came out to my best friend first and he was very supportive and after that I told my partner what I found out. I was prepared for him to leave, because he said that sex was important for him in a relationship, but he stayed!
We're together for over three years now and I often ask him if he's fine with not having sex every time we see each other and he says that he is.
I just wanted to share my story, if you're also ace you can find love and have a healthy relationship even with very little sexy time. 🖤🤍💜
Interesting story about your ring, it’s like your body knew you were asexual before you even knew!
I'm apart of a system & we have a new alter, who's from the 1900s, and has never heard of asexuality. When he found out he might be ace, his first reaction was to gasp & say "Oh? What is that?" then got really excited when he learned that he actually is ace. It was very wholesome & I thought I should share this here
Hey, I dunno if you read this . I am making currently a priie info sheet to hang it out at my school and gonna include you know to the list of the known people. I knew about the ace ring just wasnt too sure about which hand it went on. Thx for even explaining the origins.
Honestly, my biggest moment had nothing to do with finding ace merch or anything. It was when my ace friend described to me what asexuality was and I just kind of said to myself "so there is a word for it. I'm not broken."
Married Ace here. I don't wear a black band on my middle right finger, but my wedding band is a simple black band. Works perfect.
I have a couple ace dragon stickers on my travel watercolor palette. :)
I read _"I have a couple ace dragons"_ and I deadass thought
*I want a dragon too!* And if thats not the most positively stereotypical ace thing ever tell me what It is
I figured out I was ace about two months ago and just told my friend my romantic orientation and it was amazing I feel so much better now that I'm out thanks to you for showing I'm not alone and thanks to Lee thoe ( she is on RUclips ) for being the one I can trust with that
I'm asexual and I think your hair is really cute
I think too
What I like about the ring idea (and why I'm considering getting one) is to me it seems like a way to show your pride in your sexuality in a way that isn't a flag, which is good for me, because I'm not out to my parents yet, but still want to like wear pride stuff
Looking for the multicolored ACE RING 💍! Searching Brooklyn NY. Nobody seems to have it. That specific one is the only one I want- made up my mind-period. Nothing else for me!
I recently came out to my girlfriend as asexual.... she said she was too! That was so helpful to me.... this video made me want to get a ring or bracelet as well.... but I'm scared of anyone else finding out (specifically my parents)...
Very strangely I watched this video yesterday, and today I received a small package from a store I had purchased something from. I only ordered something yesterday. So I just thought it was weird. The package had three silicone rings in it. Two black and one silver. 🤷🏽♀️ If that’s not a sign I don’t know what is.
I wear a lovely Hematite ring. I tried wearing it on my right hand but couldnt get used to it. Too small to wear on my middle finger.
I was once discussing something with a friend of mine in public and I mentioned asexuality for some reason and someone in passing started making gestures like, "me too! Me too!"
So I glanced at her hand to make sure I wasn't mistaken and she had an ace ring on and it gave me enough confidence to ask if she was ace and she was
And I also have another friend who wears a black ring and I noticed that (I mean, a black ring is decently hard to miss) and asked her if she was ace before I had a chance to figure out which finger it was on (it was actually on her ring finger). Felt bad cause she wasn't, but she understood and I actually found it really cool because she said she used to wear it on her middle finger but then someone told her what that meant so she changed it. Just the fact that someone knew that (idk who the person was or if they were ace but either way) and she changed it to avoid it... Yes. It was so nice to see
I'm getting my ring tomorrow and I'm so happy.
I’m going to see if my favorite store hot topic has any I don’t go out much but definitely been wanting a black ring 😻🖤 it sucks so many people online and in real life can be acephobic and explaining is hard because it seems like they don’t want to understand and just hate it without researching and some may even accept gay and other sexualities but ours seems so invisible so when you say how lonely it can be I agree so much but online you can also find others like us and it’s very helpful to feel like we aren’t broken and it is sad that many even in the lgbt community themselves seem to think we aren’t real but honestly the black ring and bracelets really help i’m glad we also have a cool flag being emo black is such a cool color as are the other dark colors with white and purple following pretty colors ok i’m going to stop rambling thank you for explaining the meaning and background of where the black ring comes from peace!🖤
I read through the origin post of the ring the other day and was happy crying at 3 in the morning. I’ve got a rubber ace bracelet which my best friend got me for a surprise at my first pride, he was the first person I ever came out to I don’t wear it every day as I’m not a huge bracelet person but I also have an ace magnet right next to my bed. I’m hoping to get a black ring for my 18th in a couple of months though it might be difficult to convince my Nan on the colour as I’m not out to my family and they don’t know the importance of the colour to me but the important thing is that I do 🖤💜🖤💜
Me: *wears ace ring*
School Coaches: That counts as jewelry too! Give me Ten!
Gross. They should definitely be reprimanded, a ring isn’t bad especially if it’s part of who you are
Tell them its a religious thing so they shut up about it
wow really? its a ring. i get how necklaces cpuld be dangerous or inconvenient in gym but a ring is harmless
@@starrynight1165 unless you are playing jungle speed. All hand jewelry off and nails cut for that game is best to avoid accidents, talking from experience.
I have an old ring from my grandmother on my left middle finger. It’s there because it’s too small for my right hand and because I can’t get a black ring (I haven’t come out to family yet)
Just ordered my first ace ring!
You are a special person, never forget that.